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A Prince in Lion's Clothing	By : Sablesilverrain Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Harry/Tom Views: 36570 -:- Recommendations : 7 -:- Currently Reading : 9
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, or anything you recognise here. I make no money off of this, and am writing it purely for entertainment. Don't take it too seriously.

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Severus frowned. He was sure he’d had more boomslang skin that that…

Oh, well. He’d just have to buy some more.

On a whim, he checked his stock of lacewing flies.

Odd. They were low, too.

Someone was brewing Polyjuice. The only question was: who was it?

His mind immediately went to Harry, but there was no reason to suspect him. For one thing, he wasn’t skilled enough to make the potion. Perhaps Granger was, but he wasn’t speaking to her much these days.

He’d keep an eye out. He knew he’d figure it out eventually.

*****

Harry groaned, laying his head down on the book. “Dragons.” He told Neville.

Neville paled. “Oh.”

“Nesting mothers, even.” Harry elaborated.

“Oh, dear.” Was Neville’s amended response.

“Yeah. So you see my problem, then.”

Neville nodded. “Yeah, I do. What can you bring with you?” He asked.

Harry held up his wand. “Just this.”

“Not your broom? Cause you’re amazing in the air.” Neville offered.

Harry shook his head. “No. Moody told me to use my wand to get what I need, though. I could use a summoning charm, but we haven’t covered those yet, and…” He pointed at a book on the other side of the table and tried to summon it.

Nothing.

“See?”

Neville nodded. “You can keep trying, though. You’re bound to get it sometime, you’re really talented.”

“In Defence.” Harry corrected him. “I’m only mediocre at Charms.”

“Well, honestly, how hard can it be?” Neville said, sounding really irritated. Well, as irritated as the mild-mannered boy got, at least. “You’ll get it, you just have to try. Really hard. It will be worth it when you win all that prize money.” He said with a grin. “You could buy out Honeydukes with that kind of money.”

Harry chuckled. “With the Potter vault and the Selwyn vaults—I found out there’s two—I don’t need the money.” He said. “I’m pretty loaded already.”

There was also the Prince vault to take into account, but he wouldn’t get that until Severus died, and, Merlin willing, that wouldn’t happen for a good, long time.

“Well, it would still be cool if Gryffindor got that kind of prestige.” Neville commented.

Harry nodded. “I suppose. Want to go to the Room of Requirement with me and work on summoning charms for a while?” He asked.

Neville nodded. “Yeah, we can.” He said.

They got up and left the library together.

When they got into the room, there were pillows piled all over.

Harry snorted. “Well, this will be safe enough to practice summoning. Less bruises this way.” He said, amused.

“Less incentive to learn properly, you mean.” Neville corrected him. “The bruises make you learn to catch what you summoned, rather than just letting it hit you in the face.”

Harry laughed. “There is that.” He agreed. “Come on, practice with me.”

They both began trying to summon pillows, having little success. Occasionally, one would twitch, but the best they had managed was Harry getting one to roll toward him a few feet, and Neville had managed a half-hearted fluffing of the pillow he’d tried to summon.

“Harder than it looks.” Neville commented after forty-five minutes.

“Yeah. And we’re not doing too well for as long as we’ve been trying.” Harry said wearily.

Neville shrugged. “I usually don’t, so I’m kind of used to it.”

“Well, we’re supposed to learn it this year, it can’t be impossible. Let’s try harder. We can stop if neither of us get it after an hour. I’m supposed to visit with Snape tonight for remedial Potions, anyway. It’s an extra class, since we had a breakthrough last time and he wants to follow-up on it quickly, lest I backslide.” Harry explained.

Neville nodded. “How are you doing in those lessons? Accio!” Nothing. “He’s not being too hard on you, is he? Accio!” A twitch.

Harry smiled, casting his own summoning charm. “Not really.” He answered, casting again and making the pillow roll all the way to his feet. He smiled widely. Progress! “He’s actually not that bad, when he doesn’t have to deal with stupid students all over the place. He can actually be kind of calm. It’s different, and surprisingly bearable.” He said lightly, then summoned a pillow, which did hit him in the face, and chucked it at Neville.

Neville laughed. “Oh, just you wait until I manage that!” He mock-snapped, a smile on his face.

Thirty minutes later, a pillow-fight ensued, after both had managed several successful charms.

Neville won when one of his pillows caught Harry’s glasses and tore open, sending feathers flying everywhere—including into Harry’s mouth—and causing the black-haired teen to beg mercy through raucous laughter.

They both left the room in high spirits.

*****

Harry practically bounced into Severus’ classroom, looking around only to find that the man wasn’t there. He frowned and scanned the room again, then noticed a folded paper sitting on the man’s desk, with Harry’s name written on it. He walked over and picked it up. He turned it over and read the short missive.

“Harry,

I believe we will be more comfortable conducting tonight’s discussion in my sitting room, over regular tea this time. The password to my rooms is Basil, and the entrance is just past my office.

S. Snape”

Harry put the letter in his pocket and walked down the hallway, finding the right door and whispering the password.

Severus was sitting in a chair, sipping from a cup of tea already.

He waved to the couch, and Harry perched in the middle, pouring himself a cup from the teapot and fixing it the way he liked. “Why here?” he finally asked, looking around curiously.

“I feel it is better to discuss certain matters in a neutral environment, one that does not hold negative connotations for either of us.” Severus said calmly.

Harry nodded, meeting the man’s eyes again. “That’s probably for the best.” He agreed.

“Quite. We need to discuss things that will likely be uncomfortable for you, but if you are ever to move past it, it needs to be analysed and dealt with. I’m sorry.” Severus said nervously.

Harry sighed. “I understand, Sir.”

Severus was silent for long moments, collecting his thoughts before he spoke. “When he… Did what he did, what were your feelings, at the time? Do you remember?”

Harry bit his lips, his eyes taking on a far-away look. “Fear, at first. Anger, confusion… Pain. Always pain.” He said softly.

“The fear is natural. The anger, too. It is right that you were confused, you were too young to deal with an act like that, even if you had wanted it, you would have been too young for it. We will deal with the pain later, we need to address other issues first. Was there any guilt, either during the act or afterward?” Severus gently pressed.

Harry grunted, nodding, unable to speak or raise his eyes.

“Why?” Severus asked. “Did you climax ever? Did you try to fight him off? Surely you know that he was too strong for you to overcome at the time.”

Harry sighed, but nodded again. “I tried to fight him off, and no, it was… It was never good. But still, I felt like… It was my fault. He never did it to Dudley, only me, so what was I doing wrong?” He asked, his voice breaking.

Severus put down his tea and folded his hands in his lap. “Harry, you did absolutely nothing wrong. It was all his fault, none of the blame rests on you. He probably never did it to Dudley because the boy was his own son, and you were not related to him by blood, only marriage. Some people with those kinds of sick desires will abstain with blood family out of love, but not with others who are vulnerable to them. You did nothing but be there. And there was nothing you could have done about that.” He said firmly. “Let’s move on to another common emotion that will keep the block up for now. Shame. You are ashamed of what happened, are you not?”

Harry nodded. “I know I shouldn’t be, but—”

“It is shameful, though.” Severus said firmly.

Harry’s eyes widened. “What?” He whispered, hoping he’d heard wrong. Was Severus now going to blame him for it?!

“It is shameful, and it is wrong. There is nothing wrong about feeling that at all. He forced an act on you that is meant to be tender, loving and all about trust and closeness between two consenting adults. Feeling shame for going through a forced violation is natural. What is not acceptable is letting it control you. You need to accept that it happened, assure yourself that it will not happen again, and move on. You have my word that I will be there for you to protect you from going through that again, and I keep my word, Harry. Feel the shame, yes, but let it go. It should not rule you.” Severus told him.

Harry blew out a breath. Feel it, but then let it go? “How, Sir?”

Severus smiled thinly. “Acknowledge it, and let it pass from your head after accepting that it exists. At first, you will need to push it aside, but in time, it will move aside on its own. You merely have to force it to until it becomes natural for it to pass through on its own.” He picked up his tea again. “It will take time, and we can work on it for as long as it takes.”

Harry nodded thoughtfully. It sounded hard, and likely would be hard, but he knew Severus wouldn’t set him an impossible task. Not in something so important to him, to them both.

“The guilt can cause depression in teens. Very easily. Do you feel any lack of motivation, any loss of pleasure in things you once enjoyed?” Severus asked.

Harry frowned. How would he know? He had never had the chance to enjoy anything before coming to Hogwarts, and the… Things had started before then. “I’m not sure. I like flying, and Quidditch. But before… I never really had anything I liked.” He answered honestly.

Severus shut his eyes. This, this was too painful to bear. He knew that feeling, intimately, and it brought up so many unhappy memories to hear that sentiment echoed by his own son. He had sworn to himself that if he had a child, they would never be made to feel that way.

Again, he was faced with his failure as a father.

He decided to try a different tactic.

“Do you feel any lethargy, or any fatigue, that starts in the mornings and lingers through the day? Or sadness that you cannot shake off? Perhaps disruptions in your daily hygiene?” He asked. All common symptoms of depression.

Harry thought for a moment, then shook his head. “No, everything there is normal for me.” He answered.

Severus nodded. “Good. Then you seem fine on that score.” Thank Merlin.

“Why are you asking me all this?” Harry asked curiously.

“If you have an underlying mental illness, such as depression, it can interfere with your ability to learn Occlumency. Occlumency requires a healthy mind, a strong mind. You must be able to feel things and let them slip away, and keep calm under duress.” Severus answered. “Depression saps your motivation, and makes you dwell on things that are past, things that hurt you. It will make thoughts linger and spiral downward. It helps someone gain access to your mind. We are attempting to teach you the exact opposite of that.”

Harry sighed. “Why is it so important that I learn this?” He asked.

Severus’ brow rose. “Do you trust the Headmaster implicitly?” He shot back.

Harry stiffened. “Not in the least.” He answered.

“Until you learn Occlumency properly, he can get into your head with just a glance into your eyes and pluck any memory he desires from there. Would you like him to do just that?”

“No.” Harry answered wearily.

Severus smiled thinly. “No, I thought not. Before we move onto that, though, there was one more thing we need to discuss, and then we can put this whole unpleasant business mostly behind us.” He said. “The pain you felt at your violation. Understand, that is not what making love is about. When done properly, there is no pain, excepting the small bit that cannot be entirely avoided the first time. Even between two men,”

Harry blanched, but Severus continued in a firmer voice.

“Listen. Even between two men, there is pleasure. That is why people do it. Even the bottom will feel pleasure in the act, and orientation has nothing to do with rape. If you feel yourself attracted to other males, there is nothing wrong with that, and your uncle had nothing to do with it. If you are attracted to females only, it is not because your uncle made it so. What attracts you is a personal matter, and nothing anyone does or says can influence that. So don’t fight what you will one day desire. Either way, it is natural.” Severus told him. “And someday, thought you might not think it now, you will want to make love with someone. And that someone will wait for you to be ready, patiently. I will be there when that happens, an open ear and a willing confidant for you. You may come to me and speak about it as much or as little as you want. I will listen, offer advice if you want it, and I will keep your secrets.” He promised.

Harry nodded. “It really feels good?” He asked.

Severus smiled. “It is indescribably good, Harry. You will experience it someday. Wait for the right person, though. Someone who pressures you into it is not right for you. Do it only when you truly want it.” He advised.

“Alright, I can wait. That won’t be a problem.”

Severus nodded. “No, it won’t be. If there is a problem later because of this, remember that I am here for you. I have helped my Slytherins through things like this before, so I know what to do to help you. You are by no means alone.”

Harry gave him a smile. “Thank you, Sir. I do feel a bit better.” He said.

Severus hummed. “Of course, it will take time for you to be fully healed from this. We will work on it as it comes up, but I think the greatest of the damage has, at least, started to resolve. Talking about it gets much of the pain and poison out. Time is all you need now. Go get a hot bath. You’ll likely need it. Don’t scrub yourself raw because of what we talked about, but soak for a while and relax.”

Harry nodded. “I will, Sir. Thank you.”

Severus smiled at him. “No thanks is necessary. You are my son. If anyone deserves my help, it is blood. I will see you Tuesday evening.”

“You’ll see me Monday morning, first.” Harry replied impishly.

Severus laughed. “Get out of my rooms, you smart alec!”
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A Prince in Lion's Clothing