Adult-FanFiction.org : Harry Potter

Both Sides Now	By : Sayan Category: Harry Potter > General > General Views: 3261 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
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Chapter 3

Severus Snape didn't need an alarm clock in the morning to get up, he had his daily routine down to the minute. With the stress of spying and his ‘normal' job as a potions master he really treasured a fixed
schedule.
There was another advantage to an ingrained course of action. Not many people knew it but the normally always so alert man resembled a zombie until he had his first cup of strong black tea. The little part of his brain that was functioning before this crucial cup was enough to guide him through the routine. Severus coaxed his muscles to move his drowsy body out of bed. the first thing he had to do was to place the full diaper bag in the corridor for the current unfortunate Slytherin on duty to dispose of
it.
Of course there were some spells to get rid of the waste but why should he not use this perfect opportunity to discipline his first
and second years? Crawling out of bed at dawn and carrying bags to Hagrid's hut, with the anti-smell-spell removed (of course!) served its purpose.
Hagrid was adamant that there was no better fertilizer for his pumpkin patch than used diapers made of linen.
As much as he supported his little snakes, they had to learn that he was the one to make the rules, not them.
Still on autopilot, Snape checked on his sleeping daughter and
stumbled with the offensive bag across his suite to the door.
Remove the wards.
Put the bag down and remove the AS-spell.
Back away, fast.
Close the door.
And then look to see if his house elf Nimby had brought the tea tray and put it on the small table in front of the fireplace. Shouldn't a Potions Master know better than to be addicted to black tea? At least he wasn't like Minerva, having to rely on an un-British substance like coffee. (An: My own dislike for coffee speaks here, don't hit me!)
No tea tray in sight (unpunctual elf, he would punish it later), maybe he should take a bath as long as he has the peace to do so.
As long as Lierin wasn't awake.
With half closed eyes he made his way to-
Something was in his way!
Who dared to-?
Boing.
"Ouch!"
Something fell at his feet, something that certainly didn't belong in his chambers.
Severus' eyes, used to the dim light in the dungeons, followed the offending barricade from the curled up fingers, over a wrinkled shirt covering an arm, up to a now moving shoulder. When his gaze arrived at a pair of glaring green eyes the memories of the last evening returned.
They hadn't talked much after they arrived in the dungeons, both men still working through the new information and emotional ballast.
Pomfrey already had lulled the baby to sleep and, sensing the tension radiating from her colleague and his visitor, left after a curt ‘good night'.
Severus had thrown some pillows and blankets out of his bedchamber anckedcked the door.

Sleep had been an elusive guest for a long time.

Dream:

The world was wildly spinning, weaving dark mists and mocking shadows thicker and thicker around him.
Suffocating him.
Mist, dangerous like hands.
Pain.
Sometimes it felt like pain was the only thing that assured him that he was alive.
Whispers, shrill and mocking.

Spin, spin, spin around.
He couldn't help but let himself be whirled intact with the world.
Hadn't he always tried to stay intact, blend into his surroundings?
Sometimes a flicker of light.
Promising relief.
Cannot reach.
A voice whispered near his ear. "Redcaps try to lure unsuspecting—"
Why can't it stop to hurt?
I have nothing done wrong.
Want to end it.
Hands.
Always hands.
Spin, spin, spin around!
Faster!
The suffocating veils form faces. No, they are grimaces, laughing at him with sick joy.
Don't hurt me—
Go away!
Holding him down, pressing his face into the veils.
No, no, no, no, no—
Pounding into him, ripping him apart.
Harsh voices.
Dark voices, cruel satin.

Faster, faster !
Leave me be!
Don't look at me.
Stretching out the hand to grab something solid
Something real.
And finally, like he always knew he would, he reached a flicker of light and could feel himself falling-

End of Dream

-onto the floor.

"Ouch!"
Harry needed some time to distinguish dream from reality. How he hated his nightmares. And sleeping in the dungeon lured some normally well-locked memories back to the surface. Better push them back where they came from.
How somebody could willingly live in a dark and damp room was beyond him.
He rolled his shoulders to get the tension out of them and looked up.
Unlike his host he wasn't dependent on tea and its animating effect.
The young man had dreaded a confrontation with his ex-professor for the last year, feared that his hard bought self control would crack and that he would be reduced to a pitiful sobbing creature when they met again. What this man knew about him, how he had seen him.
Yesterday, standing in front of the heavy oak door leading into these rooms, Harry had barely managed to control his features and trembling hands betraying his horror. And then-
Maybe it had been another Harry Potter who had trailed after the old warlock and spy, another person who had told the story of his past year. Most of the time he had got the feeling of observing a stranger who had taken over his body and memories. Only the tiny figur Lie Lierin had felt real the entire day.
And his first confrontation with Snape. It had felt so good to argue.
Anger was a hot and welcome feeling. It didn't allow space for something else.
And it had hurt when the baby flinched away from his hand. Harry couldn't really say that he loved her. That was nonsense. He didn't
know her, neither did Lierin know him.
But nonetheless.
Change the topic, Harry.
A potent anchor for his wandering thoughts was still standing in front of him, eying the younger man like something that the cat might have brought inside.
At the moment the Gryffindor felt like it. He was stiff and sore from a very uncomfortable night. Snape had only provided him with the most important items. And the armchair had clearly not been designed for sleeping in.
"You really are a miserable host."
"I don't remember inviting you."
The now fully awake Slytherin stepped over the figure on the floor and out of sight.

TBC

(A/N: it is a little bit short and doesn't have much action. I am sorry but the next part will contain some fuel, oh yes.

And: !!!!!! I have a beta now! A million thanks to Liz for taking pity and hunting down my mistakes.)
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