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Much Ado About Nothing	By : goblet Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male Views: 2534 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

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MUCH ADO ABOUT NOTHING

by The Goblet

Chapter 29

Aberforth was waiting in the small building which housed the
Hogsmeade gaol. The gaol was made of cinderblocks and comprised of two
cells, which could accommodate two prisoners each; a small interview
room; and a reception area. There was no bathroom in the building as
each small cell came complete with a stainless steel sink and toilet
bowl.

The previous night Aberforth had locked one brother in each cell,
separating them until he could find someone to interrogate them. He had
left his auntie's pet goat in the gaol to help guard the prisoners and
the Citizens' Watch had taken turns watching over the prisoners: each
man staying with them for two hours at a time. This, of course,
involved sleeping on one of the benches in the corridor outside the
cells, while pretending to keep one eye open and on the two villains.

Now all three members of the Watch were in attendance, and the goat
was tucked up in bed. Together Dervish and Banges had entered the cells
and woken the prisoners with a large bucket of icy water. Spluttering
and still half asleep, they had dragged first Rodolphus and then
Rabastan to the front of the cell, and lashed them to the front bars in
preparation for the examination.

Zonko had brought along hot tea for both men, and had slipped a weak
truth serum into it. The truth serum was one of the ingredients for
part of his collection of gags and jokes. It wasn't illegal in the true
sense of the word as its victims knew straight away that they had been
'pranked' and it wore off within twenty minutes of being administered
without any need for an antidote. Zonko, himself had a small catalogue
of novelties which used the serum.

Aberforth was anxiously pacing the hallway while the Watch sat on a
bench guarding the drugged prisoners when the door burst open and
Honeyduke bustled in, followed by a rather dour-looking Scrivenshaft.

Ebenezer Scrivenshaft was a tall, gaunt man with a hawkish nose, a
tight mouth and long, straight, silver hair. He was clean shaven and
wore traditional wizarding robes in a dark burgundy. Ebenezer, in
additional to owning a quill shop in the High Street, was the town's
Historian and Official Record Keeper.

The man was not a great fan of Aberforth's, the Innkeeper's grammar
being as it was, but Ebenezer was polite to all and treated everyone
with respect, regardless of their position, and in direct opposition to
his physical appearance.

"Is our whole disassembly appeared?" Aberforth asked his second in command.

Honeyduke nodded, disappearing into the interview room and returning with a chair and table for Ebenezer.

Ebenezer made himself comfortable and arranged his parchment and
inks. He dipped a peacock-feather quill into some brilliant blue ink
before turning to Aberforth. "Who are the malefactors?" he asked.

Aberforth smiled. "That am I, and my partner, Honeyduke."

Honeyduke nodded. "No, that's right," he added. "We are going to examine this exhibition."

Ebenezer sighed and closed his eyes. How Dumbledore and Honeyduke
had been elected to coordinate the Watch was a mystery to him. "Who are
the offenders that are to be examined? They must answer to the Head of the Watch," he explained. It was going to be a long morning.

"They must answer to me!" Aberforth replied. He spun around to look
at the prisoners. In all of the excitement of last night, he had
forgotten to ask the two brothers their names.

He sidled up to Rodolphus. "What is your name?" he asked.

Rodolphus, under the effects of the truth serum, answered truthfully. "Rodolphus LeStrange."

"Write down Rodolphus LeStrange," Aberforth instructed Ebenezer. He danced over to Rabastan. "And yours?"

"I am a gentleman, and my name is also LeStrange. Rabastan LeStrange."

"Write down, Master Gentleman Rabastan LeStrange," Aberforth instructed.

He turned back and faced the prisoners again. "Do you serve God?"

The brothers looked at each other, amused by the question. Instead
of verbally answering, Rodolphus nodded, thus circumventing the truth
serum. Rabastan followed his lead.

Aberforth turned back to Ebenezer. "Write that down, that they serve
God. And write God first, for God defend but God should go before such
villains!"

The Watch Coordinator turned back to the LeStrange brothers. "It is
proved already that you are little better than false knaves; and it
will go near to be thought so shortly. How do you answer for
yourselves?"

Rabastan's eyes narrowed as he tried to interpret what the bumbling
idiot was trying to say. "We are not," he replied, grinning as he was
able to lie. Well, perhaps not lie, in his humble opinion he was not a false rogue: he was a rogue.

Aberforth huffed and turned to Rodolphus. "I say to you, it is thought you are false knaves."

"I say to you, sir, that we are not," Rodolphus replied, smiling. He
could feel the truth serum wearing off, and if the interview continued
like this they were going to be home free.

Exasperated, Aberforth turned to Ebenezer. "Have you writ that down? That they are not false knaves?" he asked.

Ebenezer sighed. This so-called interrogation had gone on for far
too long. "Aberforth, this is not the way to conduct an examination:
you must call forth the Watch that are their accusers."

Aberforth nodded. "Of course, that's the deftest way. Let the Watch
come forth. I charge you, in the Light's name, accuse these men."

Zonko stepped forward and pointed at Rodolphus. "That man there said that Regulus Black is a villain."

"Write down 'Regulus Black is a villain'," instructed Aberforth.

"But sir –" Rodolphus began to speak.

"Shhhhhhh!" Aberforth hissed at him. "I don't like the look of you, now be quiet!"

Ebenezer ignored the exchange, instead addressing a question to the Watch. "What else did you hear him say?"

"He spoke of how Regulus Black had promised him one of his
grandfather's books for defiling the reputation of Severus Snape,"
Dervish volunteered.

"Burglary in the true sense of the word!" Aberforth exclaimed, glaring at the two men. Honeyduke nodded in agreement.

Ebenezer wrote down the evidence. "What else?" he asked.

Banges stepped forward. "And that Mr Lupin, upon seeing him engaged
in sexual relations with his betrothed – in actual fact his lover
disguised through the use of Polyjuice to look like Mr Snape - and
hearing about his presumably disreputable and… scandalous past, would,
this morning, leave him at the altar after telling the congregation
what he had seen that night."

"O villain! You will be condemned into everlasting redemption for
this!" exclaimed Aberforth, waving his fist in Rodolphus' face.

Scrivenshaft ignored the outburst and finished writing his report,
with the Watch adding a few extra details here and there. "Anything
else?" he asked.

Zonko shook his head.

The Record Keeper stood and set his parchments to dry. He turned to
the prisoners. "These accusations are more than you can deny," he told
them.

"I have no desire or need to listen to your defence. Regulus Black,
after a search of Hogwarts and Hogsmeade, is nowhere to be found.

"Severus Snape was, this morning, in this manner accused and in this
manner refused by his betrothed. And as a direct result of this
treachery, as a direct result of his betrothed turning against him, Mr
Snape has taken his own life."

The members of the Citizens' Watch gasped. They hadn't realised what
had been going on up at the school: they could have prevented the
entire tragedy if only they had acted sooner!

The LeStrange brothers looked at each other in dismay. They had never, never meant for Severus to kill himself. Rodolphus, for one, quite liked the younger man. His face dropped as he thought about how You-Know-Who was going to react. The Dark Lord had had his eye on Snape for a while. He wanted him as a Death Eater.

Ebenezer turned to Aberforth. "Bind these men in shackles, tie a
cannonball to their ankles and take them to your brother at Hogwarts. I
will proceed ahead of you and show him their examination."

Aberforth agreed. "Let them be opinioned," he announced to the Watch.

"Pinioned, the word is pinioned," muttered the Record Keeper as he gathered his things. "I shall be off," he announced as he left the building.

Aberforth waved goodbye before attempting to help Zonko shackle Rabastan's hands and feet.

"Get off me, you coxcomb!" Rabastan screamed at the Innkeeper.

Aberforth jumped back as though stung. "Where is Scrivenshaft?" he
demanded. "Let him write down that I, Albus Dumbledore's brother, am a
coxcomb."

Aberforth gestured at Honeyduke, who had just attached a cannonball
to Rodolphus' foot. "Come bind him," he instructed. He turned back to
Rabastan "You naughty varlet."

"You are an ass," screamed Rabastan as he was put into irons. "YOU ARE AN ASS!"

Aberforth watched as Honeyduke slapped a gag on the foul-mouthed
prisoner. "Do you not suspect my place? Do you not suspect my years? O
that Scrivenshaft were here to write me down an ass!"

The Innkeeper turned to the Watch. "Remember that I am an ass; though it be not written down, yet forget not that I am an ass."

He turned once more to Rabastan. "No, you villain, you are full of
piety, as shall be proved upon you by good witness. I am a wise fellow,
and, which is more, an officer of the Watch, and, which is more, a
business owner, and, which is more, as pretty a piece of flesh as any
is in Hogsmeade…" at this Aberforth showed a little leg. "… And one
that knows the law, go to; and a rich fellow enough, go to; and a
fellow that hath had losses, and one that hath two gowns and every
thing handsome about him."

"Bring him away! Bring him away!" he cried to the Watch. "O that I had been writ down an ass," he sulked.

tbc...

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Much Ado About Nothing