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One's True Nature	By : Kaspjo Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Harry/Draco Views: 13687 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
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30

James sat on the stairs leading up to the Griffyndor dorms and thought. He thought about everything that had happened. He felt as though somehow he had lost his ability to really think in the last year. So much had happened between he and Albus and he and his father. James, when he truly faced reality hated being Harry Potter's son. It wasn't really because of the fame, or the late work nights or the sometimes depressed state that his father put forward, it was in fact the distance his father took with the family. James hated Harry POtter the legend, because the man was some kind of fraud, people always remarked to James how amazing it must be to be the son of the most famous man in the wizarding world. They didn't even begin to understand how painful a life he, his brother and sister lead.

James thought back to when he realized it was his responsibility to look out for his siblings. He took on this task without ever being consulted or asked. He had to take it on, because if he hadn't done so, Albus might be lost and Lilly might get into Merlin knows what kind of trouble. James was eight years old back then and he didn't really remember feeling that young. He put his head down on his knees and remembered that day in every detail he could.

Albus and James and Lily were all walking along with their parents through Hogsmeade and looking at some things through windows or just going in to some stores for a few minutes so their mother could rumage through things. James was excited, he was an outdoors type and so he was making sure to tell Albus about all the nice things in the stores and even got Albus to say some of the names of the stores. Lily tried to cause some trouble picking through things but James made sure to tell on her everytime which earned him Lily sticking her tounge out at him. He laughed at her as the exited the joke shop which had been so fun he was he had looked down for only a second in gathering himself from his fit of giggles that he was stunned stiff by the large crowd that was before them.

"Fuck." Harry swore softly perhaps hoping his children didn't hear it. They had, but the crowd had prevented all three of them from remarking on it. Lily was shocked and instantly went to their mother's side and clung to it. James felt Albus' hand start to tighten in his painfully, he tried to say something but the shock of the crowd was still too much. Then the flashes started. The papers had not seen the entire Potter clan together ever before and the camera people greedily snapped endless photos of them.

"Boys, take each of my hands." James was unable to protest. Ginny Potter had hastily picked Lily up and guarded her instinctively. Harry growled a low sound that didn't sound like words, more like an expression of what James thought was anger. After several seconds of coaxing from James, Ablus unclinched his hand from his and went to his father's free hand. Once Harry had both boys by the hand he walked carefully through the people the cameras were still flashing uncaring of the distress that they were causing. James heard Albus whimper, he wanted to go protect his brother but his father had said to take his hand. He obeying and then the crowd became compressed and moving became slower and harder and the crowd was now shouting questions and praise and other things James couldn't make out.

Harry tried to hurry as best he could and without realizing it, Albus' hand had slipped from his. James tried to let his father know that his baby brother had fallen behind. He tried shouting but Harry didn't hear him and then they were stuck and James heard the histerycal crying that was unmistakably his brother's and actually bit his father's hand to wrench free and then darted to go find Albus quickily. He slammed into legs and arms and finally found Albus less than ten feet back, crumpled on the ground face turned in pain, red, covered in tears and shaking James hugged him as tight as he could.

"I'm right here baby brother. You're okay. I'm right here. Shhhh." He heard his father bark something extremely loud and then a crack of magic of some kind was heard, but James didn't care at all. The next thing he knew his parents were right behind him Ginny giving some kind of pained sob of Albus' name and his father rather angrily grabbing him up and then carelessly jerking his younger brother up off the gound and Carrying him without any regaurd to the boy's condition. James fumed.

When they all got home Albus was inconsolable. He cried and cried and cried until a very frustrated Harry sent the children to their rooms. Harry was just as upset and broke down in Ginny's arms, saying how stupid he had been, how careless. He was crushed by his youngest son's reaction and puzzled by his oldest one's. James had bit him, not hard, but enough to break his grip and then flew to his brother's side. Harry hurt, he didn't know why this hurt so much, but it did.

James and Lily stayed in Albus' Room comforting him James holding him and Lily holding one of his hands. Though she was five, she was as protective of her brother as James was. James had become more aware of Albus' needs and fears and tried his best to look out for his younger brother from that point on. As he thought on events now, he didn't really understand why jealousy of Scorpius had allowed him to taunt and be cruel to Albus. Sure he teased him but he never wanted it to go as far as it wound up being during the winter holiday. Tears slid down his face as he remembered their first day of hogwarts.

They shared a car on the train and Albus blustered against James' teasing with the zeal that had James snickering. He was really though trying to get Albus to concentrate on something immaterial so that the impending clash with a large crowd wouldn't affect him as badly. If he was irritated James had thought that that might help as a barrier. He hadn't been too concerned when Albus had turned to their dad for support. The younger boy tended to reach out when he didn't have any way to fight back.

James kept a calm eye on his brother's mood all through the ride and then as he parted ways with him James gave Albus one more slight jeer which earned him a huff sound that sounded like a cat sneezing. James moved along as Albus made his own way to Hagrid who was gathering the first years. James let go of his thoughts about his brother when he met up with his fellow students and his best friends.

Soon enough Albus and James saw each other in the Great Hall. James took note of how his brother looked. Though his gaze was downcast Albus seemed to be moving okay and with a purpose. James sat down quickily after this so as to not draw attention to Albus' presence. The sorting hat came soon after and James then found himself with his own tension about his brother's fate. James saw that his brother sat isolated and alone at the end of the table his smallish hands working forcefully against each other. James hoped the skin in the palms wouldn't blister as it sometimes did.

Scorpious Malfoy's name drew attention when it had been called. Everyone in the school eyed the short blonde who oozed confidence as he walked up to the chair to sit and be sorted. The silence that followed the announcement of the house for the Malfoy air was painful as if the air had been halved and then heated. The sorting hat might have been tampered with. James watched in shock as Scorpius simply took a seat right next Albus, a bright smile on the Malfoy boy's face. James didn't know what was said, but when Albus name was called his youngest brother looked pitiful. James wanted to reach out and reassure his younger brother, but he realized that he'd waited far too long to do that. He silently willed his brother on to whatever awaited him.

Albus sat face toward his lap and a hand upon each knee. James tried to project his thoughts at his brother. James was surprised when Al's face shot up with a half-grin and nodded to nobody in particular. The hat must be telling him something James thought and then as he began to wonder about what could have been said the hat shouted.

"Griffyndor!" Albus slid off the chair. Though most of the students' eyes were on him, the younger Potter paid them no mind. He sat back down and was greeted again by Griffydor's surprise addition. James concentrated on his own life for the duration of the feast and then all the students headed to their dorms.

Albus quietly entered the dorms and into the fray of boys picking their beds, money being exchanged and trunks being opened and chaos all over. Pushing the tenseness of the situation out of his mind, Albus was happy to find that his trunk was next a bed awash in the light of a window. He loved moonlight and the soft touch of dusk. He smiled to himself as he began to unpack for the year. He locked into his own world for several minutes until he realized that right next to him two boys had began a fight over the other bed near the window next to his. Albus felt his insides twist as the fight grew more heated. He knew they weren't talking to him, but he still felt their words in his chest. Albus froze, fearful that soon the fight would turn to him and as the volume picked up and he felt the presence of other students around him, he cried out in pain.

"Stop it! I'll move! Just, please-don't yell. I can't stand yelling." Albus tried to look up from the crumpled kneeling position he had taken beside his bed. "I just get so frightened when there's yelling." Albus frustrated and ashamed because now he was crying found the push he needed in his legs to carry him out of the dorms and all the way outside Griffyndor tower.
James was carelessly awoken from a half sleep as he listened to other students' soft speech about school the next day and classes and so on, because one of them had shaken him forcefully.

"James-ey, ain't that your little brother standin' outside after curfew?" Asked his best friend Scottie Finnegan. James got out of bed calmly and slowly made his way to the window where his friend stood looking down over the grass in the front of the tower. Some trees stood there sporatically placed as if by someone just placing them there full grown. under one of them was Albus, who's hair gave him away. James huffed and stepped into his shoes still in his Pajamas sliding on a light coat he calmly slipped down stairs to go see what had happened. It wouldn't look good if he had to explain to his mother why Albus had gotten a detention on the first day for breaking curfew.

James was angry as he hit full-stride his feet crunching the lawn a bit damp from a light rain earlier during the feast. He stopped at the tree albust leaned against and took an short breath. It was when he completed the act of standing face to face with his brother that he realized what probably happened. Albus was shaking stiffly, trying to force his tears away.

"Albus," Was all James could say before his brother spoke between sniffles.

"I-I-I tried to get along, I-I-tried to get along. I thought I c-could get along but-I'm sorry." Thick tears fell down Albus face. James didn't say a word, he didn't dare. He felt absolutely awful. He hugged Albus instead, trying to collect his own emotions before trying to coax his brother back inside so he could futher help Albus figure out what had caused this. James felt like he was ready to take charge when Albus spoke once more. "Hey James, I didn't get put in Slytherin." Albus said this with such happiness and with such true kindness and sincerety that James heart broke and his eyes swelled. He fought the tears painfully.

"Oh Al," James said, hoping he didn't sound sad. "It's okay, I didn't-I was just teasing you okay?" James hugged Albus tightly, but not enough to cause discomfort. "I would still love you no matter what." James was not sure where all these feelings had been hidden and so the more he talked the worse it got for him to try and regain control of himself. Albus didn't say anything.

"Sorry, I don't mean to be rude." Both boys looked over at a blonde that it took James a second to realize was Scorpius Malfoy. The boy was crouching down in an attempt to avoid startling the two boys as he snuck up unintentionally on them. He always practiced this when trying to capture wounded creatures to heal. "But I think you two should come inside. The prefects will start their rounds soon." James nodded in appreciation. He also took note of the calmness in the boy's voice despite knowing neither of them well. "Albus, you can come up to the dorms now. No one will be doing any yelling, I promise you." The younger Potter seemed apprehensive. James used this moment to compose himself. "I can take him up to the dorms if that's alright with you...uhhhh?"

"Uh, James Potter, sorry, this is Albus, but you know that already. I guess I'll leave you to it." James didn't really remember feeling desperate to flee like he felt just then. As he looked back at it now, he trusted Malfoy with his brother without knowing the slightest thing about his motives. How had everything gone so out of whack. James dug his hands fiercely through his scalp in frustration. He tried telling Scorpius about his past and his feelings toward Albus, he still had to make one more apology, to Albus himself.

Later on the first night at Hogwarts. Scorpius tucked Albus in. None of the students mocked this, Scorpius had icily laid into the room after Albus' outburst about Griffyndors and pride and loyalty and generally better manners. He was so forceful that some of the students looked as if they were walking on eggshells as the offending parties from earlier apologized to Albus under the watchful eye of the Malfoy heir. Thus, began Albus' and Scorpius' friendship.

James knew what he had to do as he climbed the stairs to the dorms where his Brother and Scorpius were. He had to make a true and proper apology. It wouldn't be easy but he knew more than ever than things had gone too far beyond his original rationale and he was also tired of the heat he got from his father over all of it. A weight seemed to surge up and off his shoulders and his speed picked up as the excitement for the freedom he would soon gain wrapped around him.

James opened the door and instantly knew something was wrong. There was someone there in a hooded cloak. He had a wand pointed at Albus and Scorpius before James could properly react to this however, the cloaked figure turned swiftly, pointing his wand.

"You'll come with me as well. Drop your wand on the floor." James did as instructed.

End Chapter 30

A/N: I finally finished this chapter. To tell the truth, this story is disappointing to me. When I wrote it, I really only wanted to explore Harry's deep emotional wounds that in my mind are always simply whisked away in the books. Even the explosive moment where he wanted to take on Dumbledore are never truly explored and so I sat down with this idea after book seven and thought I had a grasp on what I wanted.

I added a Draco/Harry Wrinkle I thought likely. I think they would understand eachother through Jealousy on Draco's part and anger on Harry's the dynamic was really not about them, but their backgrounds that made them compatable. I mean, to me Draco has always wanted to prove himself great and Harry has always tried to downplay what people say is his own greatness. So everything made sense to me. Then as I wrote James, Albus and Scorpius, I started to understand even more about Harry in a way at least my view of Harry. Now this plot has got so many forks it feels like I'm lost and traveling roads only half way hoping to find my way back to the story I wanted to write in the first place. I hope you can hang on because I think I've found the road again.

Sorry for the cliffhanger and the bad news is that the next chapter will be exclusively Harry/Draco.
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One's True Nature