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Lessons and Obsessions	By : LennaNightrunner Category: Harry Potter > Het - Male/Female > Draco/Hermione Views: 85098 -:- Recommendations : 2 -:- Currently Reading : 2
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 29
- 30
EPILOGUE: PROPOSITION

Five years passed after Hermione left Hogwarts before she
saw Draco again. The war had been over for nearly four. Voldemort was dead,
along with Bellatrix Lestrange and the majority of his other followers. Remus,
Tonks, Fred, and too many others had been lost from their side. Lucius Malfoy
was in Azkaban again, but a good word from Harry and some inside information
Lucius was able to provide had shortened his sentence considerably.

Harry and Ginny were married within six months of the end of
the war, and Hermione and Ron had followed suit within another year. Mrs.
Weasley had been right: war made you want to cling to the people you cared
about, and make decisions far more quickly than you might during peacetime.

Hermione didn�t have to see Draco to know that he was all
right. He was all over the Daily Prophet on a near-weekly basis. He had been
spared a trip to Azkaban because he hadn�t been involved with the Death Eaters
since he had come under the protection of the Order after Sixth Year, though the
Ministry still monitored his correspondences by owl and floo. Every month the
Prophet reported gossip about a new witch he was seeing, and a month later the
news of their break-up would be headline news. He didn�t seem to be able to
keep a woman around for more than three weeks.

She had resigned herself to never seeing him again except on
the front page of the Prophet. She had resolved years ago that the past was
better left just that. But the British wizarding community was a relatively small
society, and it was inevitable that one autumn day Hermione literally ran into Draco
in the middle of the lobby of the Ministry of Magic. She had just looked up to
apologize when her eyes met a familiar gray that rendered her speechless.

He seemed to have that same moment of recognition and they
both froze. He took just a moment to recover himself, and then he rolled his
eyes and grabbed her wrist. Before Hermione had fully registered the long-forgotten
feeling of his hand against her skin, he had pulled her to the nearest hearth
and then there was green flame and she was stumbling out of another fireplace.
He was absently brushing soot off his robes as she tried to figure out where
they were.

It was a pub. Hermione felt as if she�d been there before,
but not often. She searched her memory and decided that it was The Goblin�s
Cache, a pub that was situated on a London street that housed at least half a
dozen muggle pubs. Of course, the Goblin�s Cache could only be seen by witches
and wizards, but if one happened to stumble drunkenly into the street rather
than leaving by floo, they would hardly be noticed.

By the time Hermione had looked around to see where Draco
had gone he was at the bar ordering a glass of firewhisky. She sat at a nearby
table and waited for him. When he finally sat down across from her he had
predictably only gotten a drink for himself.

�The last time I saw you, you weren�t even old enough to
drink yet,� she said conversationally.

�Well, I�ve gotten rather good at it since then.�

He stared at the whiskey between sips rather than at her. By
the end of the first awkward silence he was halfway through his drink.

�So�� Hermione blundered on determinedly. �Do you work at
the Ministry now?�

She was fairly certain that he didn�t. The Ministry of Magic
was a large place, but it wasn�t so large that she would never run into him if
he worked there. She�d been at the Ministry for two years and she�d never seen
him there before.

�I don�t work.�

Of course. Family money. The Malfoys must be the equivalent
of wizarding gentry, she suddenly realized. She�d just never thought about it
before because the concept of not having employment was so far out of her
experience. She gave up on trying to make conversation and went to the bar to
get herself a glass of elf-made wine. When she returned, his whiskey glass was
empty and he was staring awkwardly at table.

She took a sip of her wine in silence. Finally he looked up
at her.

�Sorry about your divorce.�

Hermione snorted. �No you�re not.�

The edge of his mouth turned up slightly. �No, I�m really
not.�

She rolled her eyes, though she was unable to contain her
smile. �Thanks anyway.�

They fell back into silence, but it wasn�t quite as awkward
this time. He began twirling his whisky glass in a way that made a very
annoying sound. Hermione took another sip of wine and gathered her courage.

�I�ve heard all the rumors,� she said with her eyes fixed on
the ruby-red liquid.

He seemed to stay silent just to spite her, so she
continued.

�The Prophet speculates that perhaps you�re horrible in bed, or that you like
being with a different witch every week, or that maybe�� she paused for effect,
�you�re not even interested in witches at all.�

She glanced up at him cautiously because she wanted to see
his reaction to her words.

He bristled visibly but did not meet her eyes. �I bet Potter
and Weasley got a laugh out of that one.�

Hermione did not answer him. She took a large sip of her
wine and fixed her eyes on a knot in the wood of the table. �I wanted to tell
them the truth.� She faltered. �Or at least� what I hoped was the truth.�

He stared at her and raised an eyebrow. �Oh?�

Her heart was racing. Her hands were sweaty against the wine
glass. Her mouth was dry. But the words were drawn out of her like spilled ink
siphoned off parchment. She swallowed.

�Tell me that I know the truth.�

He stared at her for a long moment until she finally met his
eyes. When she did, she felt trapped by them. Her heart was in her throat as
she waited for him to speak.

�You want the reason to be you.�

Tearing her eyes away from his seemed to take physical
strength. She settled them back on the knot in the table. Her answer to what
wasn�t even a question sounded feeble as she gave it.

�I� I don�t know what I want.�

�Yes,� he sneered, �that always was your problem, wasn�t
it?�

Something between her heart and her stomach twinged
painfully and her eyes stung. No, she wouldn�t cry. Even though every feeling
that she had forced down for the last half a decade was rushing to the surface all
at once.

�Draco��

He shivered visibly as she said his name. She realized to
her surprise that she hadn�t said that name out loud since she had said goodbye
to him years ago.

He recovered his composure. �You want to know the truth?�

She nodded weakly, afraid that if she spoke she might burst
into tears.

He shrugged. �You know me, Granger. I always get what I
want.� He seemed to struggle with himself before he continued. �And I didn�t
stop wanting you before you�d stopped wanting me.�

Hermione didn�t understand what he meant. She wanted to
interpret it a certain way, but that didn�t mean that that was what he was
actually saying. She wouldn�t allow herself to hope that he would tell her what
she longed to hear. She still couldn�t speak.

�There were others,� he continued as he focused on his empty
glass. �But I�m sure you know that. The Prophet must have made a fortune reporting
on my sex life. I�m flattered, really, that people find it so interesting.�

She ran a hand through her hair and felt her voice grow
acidic before she even spoke. �You certainly gave them enough to report on.�

He ignored her barb and simply sighed. �None of them
satisfied.�

Hermione suppressed the urge to laugh at his arrogance. He
could have any woman in the world and that still wasn�t enough? He couldn�t
find even one that could keep him interested? Of course he couldn�t, the
spoiled git!

He shook his head as if he knew exactly what she was
thinking.

�You ruined me, Granger.�

Hermione looked up at him, trying to figure out if he meant
what she thought he meant. The look in his eyes was unfathomable but somehow
she immediately understood.

�I�� her voice quavered, �I thought that it would be easy
for you.�

He laughed bitterly as he took her glass from the table. He
drained it and then looked at her again. �Yeah, you would think that.� His
voice was scathing. �That�s the real tragedy of it. Draco Malfoy, the most
eligible bachelor in the wizarding world, can�t get over a worthless mudblood!�

Hermione felt terrible and wonderful all at once. He had
always had a knack for making insults sound like compliments, or perhaps it was
the other way round. She was grateful when he seemed to expect no response and
continued on without a sign of recognition from her.

�Whereas you were married before we�d been out of Hogwarts
two years.�

He made it sound horrible. As if she had betrayed him. As if
she hadn�t spent months in agony because she missed him so much. As if she
hadn�t spared him a backward glance when she�d left Hogwarts. As if she hadn�t
fooled herself into believing that she was still in love with Ron so that she
could try to forget Draco in her friend�s arms. He had no idea what she had been through.

�You�re wrong.�

He gritted his teeth, apparently annoyed. �About what?�

She met his eyes and dropped her guard in one fell swoop. It
felt like throwing herself off a cliff: it was exhilarating and terrifying and
certain to end in a bloody mess. She could barely hear her own voice over the
rush of the proverbial wind against her ears.

�I never stopped wanting you.�

He stared at her in utter disbelief, and then his eyes
turned angry. His voice was laced with fury when he spoke. �Then why�?� He
couldn�t even finish his question. She knew what he was asking, though. Why had
she left him if she still wanted him? Why had she married Ron? Why hadn�t she
found him after the War? After her divorce?

�You know why,
Draco. I had to go with them. I had to help!� Her eyes dropped. It still hurt
after all this time. It hurt even more now that he was here looking at her
accusingly. She had to make him understand. It wasn�t fair for him to judge her
like that, after all she had been through. Her pride meant nothing compared
with this injustice. �And� and I knew that if I survived, you would�ve moved on
long before I came back.�

�So you married Weasley?� He made a noise of disgust.

His tone stung, but she wasn�t going to let him bait her.
What she had done had been the only thing she could have done, and it wasn�t
fair of him to act as if she had done it to spite him. �Ron loved me! As far as
I knew, you were incapable of that.�

�You wanted me to
be incapable,� he spat. �That made it easier for you.�

�There was nothing easy about it!� The barkeep was glancing
at them warily when her voice rose, but Hermione assumed that he had seen much
worse altercations in his establishment, and he soon went back to cleaning
glasses.

Draco gave her a look of utmost loathing. She hadn�t seen
that look since she was sixteen years old and he was tormenting her over her
blood status.

�Do you think I enjoyed reading about your wedding in the
Prophet? �Two of the Trio to wed,� I believe was the headline. Did you know it
sold almost as many copies as the issue that announced the Dark Lord�s death?�

Her anger rose and she could feel it in the pit of her
stomach. �Do you think I enjoyed
reading about your conquests?� Her eyes burned. �It felt wonderful to be just another shag in a long line of witches who
were helpless against your charm.�

�You�ve never been helpless,� he said with a scoff.

Her voice was thick with the mixture of anger, frustration,
hurt, and hope. �Am I the reason you�re not married to some pureblood heiress?�

Draco�s eyes were fixed on her, but he said nothing.

�Am I the reason?� she repeated more loudly, desperate to
know either way. She was sick of wondering what might have been. She just
wanted it to be over.

He continued to look at her in silence. She was about to
give up and walk out and away from him and never look back.

But then something in his eyes changed.

She wanted so badly for it to be true. Why would he be
acting this way if it weren�t true? Why would he be saying the things he was
saying? Just to torment her?

�Why me?� she asked in a quiet voice that betrayed her fear
of rejection.

�You made an impression.�

Her mind was racing and she reeled from the force of it. She
had no idea what to think, what to say. Her eyes returned to the safety of the
knot in the wood.

Neither of them spoke for a full minute, but he was the one
who broke the silence.

�So was I the reason?�

She looked up. �What do you mean?�

�Am I the reason you and Weasley didn�t work out?�

She evaded his eyes and his question. �There were a lot of
reasons.�

He leaned toward her slightly. �Was I one of them?�

Hermione sighed, not knowing how to answer. Of course he had
been one of the reasons. Not the only one, but if she were honest with herself,
the main one. She had been given a taste of passion, and Ron�s gentle affection
hadn�t been enough for her after that. It was Draco�s fault that she couldn�t
be content with the person she was supposed to spend the rest of her life with.
All his fault. Poor Ron.

�What if you were?�

One of her hands was resting on the table. Both of his were
playing with his empty whisky glass again. He set it down. His hand rested on
the table near hers. If he extended his fingers they would touch the tips of
hers. Her heartbeat quickened.

�Was I?�

She looked at him pointedly. If he didn�t understand, then
it wasn�t meant to be. She would go home to her flat and move on.

He extended his fingers.

She allowed herself to remember everything. Every touch,
every kiss, every dark corridor, the Room of Requirement, the way she had felt
when she woke to find him in her bed. His eyes caught hers and she could see
every memory in their unique shade of gray.

�I�ve decided something, Hermione.� Words echoed from the
past as a boy of seventeen spoke through the mouth of the man of twenty-three:
�And regardless of what recent events might indicate, when I really have my
mind fixed on something, I don�t stop until I get what I want.�

*****

A/N: Well, there you are! I can hardly believe it�s done!
After a solid year and three months of averaging a chapter every two weeks (Not
bad, if I do say so myself!) it�s finally over! It�s bittersweet, of course,
but I�m very happy with the end product and I hope that you all are too. I hope
that it�s something that might be fun on a re-read and is ultimately satisfying
even with its emotional ups and downs.

I want to take this time to thank all of you for reading and
reviewing during this epic journey. Your feedback has really spurred me on and
lifted me up as I wrote, and in some cases a few of you even influenced part of
the story with your suggestions. Most of all, I want to thank my beta, Twist
Shimmy, who always gave prompt and insightful feedback and perfect edits. She
stuck with me for the entirety of the fifteen-month process and made this story
infinitely better than it would have been without her input. Twist, you will be
rewarded with a Grapefic!

I�m sorry that it took me longer than expected to get these
last two chapters posted. Without going into to much detail, I want to explain
that my fianc� contracted a very serious case of H1N1 (Swine Flu) which
developed into extreme pneumonia. He is expected to be in the hospital for at
least six weeks total, and so it was very good timing that I was able to finish
this fic now before things got too hectic. He�s expected to make a full
recovery, but the next couple of months will be devoted to supporting and
rehabilitating him as well as working on graduate school applications for both
of us.

My participation in the HP fanfic world for the next few
months will be limited to LiveJournal, where I will be participating in a
Winner�s Round at dyno_drabbles and keeping up with the community. I�ll also be
working on that Grapefic for Twist Shimmy, and we may decide to post it
eventually. Unfortunately, I doubt that I�ll be embarking on anything this long
again. As I said, the next couple of months will be devoted to taking care of
my fianc� and applying for graduate school, then the holiday season, and then
planning for my wedding in April. I may have some time between then and going
off to graduate school to work on something shorter, but I definitely don�t
want to leave anyone hanging in the middle of the project when I go off to
graduate school and get too busy to write fanfic.

Again, I�m very grateful for all of your readership and
support during this long and rewarding process, and I hope to keep in touch
with some of you (through LJ, perhaps?) in the future!

I don�t want to add another chapter just to address the
comments you might have on the final two chapters, but after a week or two I
will do an open post on my LJ (http://lennalightrun.livejournal.com) that you
can read even if you don�t have an account. That way I can continue to update
that post as I get new comments. Does that sound okay? I guess it�ll have to!

Thanks again! :)

bookworm�Thank you! That�s one of the things I�ve striven
for throughout writing this: to work with JKR�s characterizations and create a
logical progression of character development. I�m glad you think I�ve achieved
that! I hope you were happy with the ending! :)

Fanfic_addict�I�m sorry that you had a hard time with the
argument. I hate reading those too, but it had to happen to keep them in
character. I hope you liked the ending, though!

Draco_Lover�I think Hermione was just having a hard time
saying goodbye to him and obstinately didn�t want to believe that he cared
because she was afraid of having her heart broken. She can be very stubborn
sometimes. I hope you liked the ending!

DracoLover69�Thanks! I�m really glad you liked the fight. I
also hope you liked the ending! I like to think that it was happy, but in the
way that Draco and Hermione do happy, of course.

Gryffindor_Slytherin�Haha, thanks! I agree that that�s the
turning point. I�m really glad you like it and I really hope you ended up
liking the last two chapters!

kazfeist�Yeah, wasn�t that crazy? I didn�t think he�d end up
going that far, but it was like he had a mind of his own when I was writing the
chapter. I was happy with it in the end, but it seemed so unlike him at the
time! I think he was just kind of angry about her stubbornness and wanting to
let go. I hope you liked the end!
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Lessons and Obsessions