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Survivor's Guilt	By : SpeedyTomato Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Harry/Lucius Views: 34080 -:- Recommendations : 3 -:- Currently Reading : 4
Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter nor do I make any money of this dark dance of Harry Potter fanfic.

Chapter List
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- 30
Epilogue

Stepping into the family cemetery, Draco walked over and sat down on the bench by his mother's grave. Looking around, he smiled a little. It was nice here, so quiet and peaceful. He could feel the soft breeze and watched it ruffle the fallen leaves from the trees around it that were shedding as fall moved forwards. Looking down at the headstone, he was pleased to see that the roses his father wanted were there. That was something Lucius wanted him to do each week as he was out of the country at the moment. That and come talk to his mother as he couldn't. His father would resume his weekly visits when he came back. This was painful, at least a little still, but it was getting better. In fact, he now found it soothing in some ways.
“Hello, mother,” he said quietly, far more at ease doing this now than when he started. “I'm supposed to pass along to you that father will start visiting again when he comes back from the States. He's still tied up there right now. He and Potter are there looking at a couple of franchises for their business. That's going so well that they are getting inquiries from all over. They're in California right now and looking to sign a deal there for a stadium the size of one here. It's great!” Stopping, he looked down at the picture he was holding. Grinning, he shook his head then leaned down and propped it up against the headstone, putting a charm on it so it wouldn't blow away or weather. “That's them. They went to some kind of convention there and got to meet Tom Baker. Both are dressed in that Dr. Who get up and posed for a picture with him. It's a right riot if you ask me, but they were both so enthused by this that I didn't have the heart to laugh about it as they told me about it in their last Floo-call. Even father was very animated and excited to meet him. You would have found it hilarious.”
Leaning forward, he rested his elbows on his knees then said, softly, “I know it's too late for you, but I wanted to tell you they passed that law. What Potter did at the ceremony gave them more than just the bare minimum of votes needed to push it, and a couple of other laws, through. That means we can get people help now. It also means they are starting a serious campaign to lay out the right information on suicide and mental illnesses. It's a wonderful thing, it really is. I'm just sorry that it's too late for you and so many others.” Stopping, he sighed and shook his head. “I don't know what to say about this, honestly. It hurts what you did, but I think I understand it more now than I did at the time. Even with the training I had to go through I didn't get it. It wasn't until I talked to Potter some that I finally did. And I'm sorry. I'm sorry you had to suffer so much and thought this was the only way out. I can't help you, I know that, but I can try with others. I've talked with Astoria and I think I'm going to go get training to see if I can't work in this area. There are so few Mind Healers and they need help. I think I can do some good here, I really do. And I want to. I don't know, though. We'll see.”
Sighing, Draco looked at the headstone and smiled. “It's all so strange anymore. Father is happy. I want you to know that. It doesn't mean he doesn't miss you, but I bet you know that. He told me that nothing will ever stop him missing you. He's moved on though. I think, somewhere in me, that brat I was wants to throw a tantrum about that. I won't though. I understand it. He deserves some happiness. He and Potter are good together, despite how strange that is. I think you would approve. After all, you loved him and wouldn't want him miserable. One of the things he's assured me is it's not the same kind of thing as with you. I get that, even without him saying it. He and Potter—they are good for each other. In so many ways. He's enjoying life in a way I can't ever remember him doing in the past. That's wonderful. After so much of that hell, he deserves it.”
Reaching out and touching the headstone, he smiled a little and said, lowering his voice, “Aunt Andromeda is coming to see you this afternoon. Teddy went to Hogwarts this year and I think she's lonely. She wanted to come over and see Scorpius. I think it's great that his aunt wants to see him. He adores her too. And Teddy. Teddy writes to him once a week and makes him laugh. He also promises, no matter what house he goes in, no one, anywhere, is going to pick on him. They're going to have to deal with Teddy if they do. I like that.”
“There's so much going on that I don't know where to start telling you about it. Dudley and Charlie are getting married over Christmas. Dudley quit his job and is working for Harry. He adores it there. Charlie won't give up his dragons, but that's not unexpected. Vernon and Petunia finally pulled their heads out and are dealing with it. I think, at least for Petunia, it helps that she'll be around so many kids if they do. I mean, look at the Weasley clan. There are a ton of them.” Quietly, he added, grinning, “We've been over there a few times too. Scorpius likes the fact that a couple of them are his age. It gives him someone to play with. We think it's good for him. Yes, I know, it's Weasleys, but you would change your mind if you saw them with him. I think Molly just sees him as another of her grandkids that needs to be spoiled. That's wonderful. Plus, we can drop him off there if we want to go somewhere and he has fun in a way he couldn't with his nanny. It's great.”
Straightening up, he said, “I miss you, more than you know. And I'm sorry for all the hell you went through. Both father and I are. I know we can't undo it, but we've pressed on.” Looking down, he said, softly, “I wish you were here, mother. I need you at times. I think, though, you are, at least in some way. That's good. I am glad you're at peace.” Shaking his head, he sighed then stood. Rubbing the top of the headstone, he said, “I'm going to go. I have some things to do before Aunt Andromeda comes over. I'll be out to see you next week.” Softly, he added, “I love you, mother.” After another glance at the headstone, he turned and made his way out of the cemetery.
Standing there, a wispy figure among the blowing leaves, Narcissa smiled at her son as he left. She had moved on, as anyone would expect, but cherished the times that her husband and son visited her. Each week, she came to hear them. Quietly, though she knew he couldn't hear her and what she said would just sound like the blowing breeze, “I love you too, Draco. And your father. Tell him I said congratulations when he gets home.” Watching until she couldn't see him anymore, she said, quietly, “Help the others, Draco. You'll be good at it. You understand in a way so many others won't. And you'll be wonderful at it, just the way you are at so much else.” Giving a sad wave, she then vanished.

Looking out the window of their penthouse room overlooking Vancouver, Harry looked down at his hand and grinned. Snorting, he said, not looking over his shoulder where he knew Lucius was sitting, going over contracts, “I think people are going to have a bloody coronary when we get back.”
Leaning back in his chair and tossing the quill on the desk, Lucius looked down at the ring on his finger then smirked. “I don't know. Somehow I don't think it's going to be much of a shock. At least to some. Others—it will be most humorous to see their reaction. I admit that.”
“You know, if someone had told me back in school that you and I were getting married in the future, I would have turned them in to someone for being dangerously unbalanced, after throwing a couple of hexes at them for being an idiot.” Harry laughed, crossing his arms and turning to face the man he married earlier that day.
“I would have done the same thing,” Lucius admitted with a snort of laughter. “All I'm going to say is we need to be prepared for plenty, like Molly, to plan on something big to celebrate this. She won't be able to let it go without doing something. You know that.”
Shrugging, Harry said, “Let her. I don't care. I'm going to admit that I liked doing it this way better than the thought of something like a huge wedding. That would have made me mental. I'm sure there are going to be some hurt feelings, though.”
“I am as well,” Lucius admitted with a soft sigh. “I'm going to suggest that tomorrow, we contact Draco and Dudley to tell them. We know they'll keep it to themselves, of course, but they have the right to know before we go back, even though it's only a couple of days off.”
“Yeah, we can do that,” Harry nodded. “We're just going to have to bring back impressive presents. That'll soothe people.”
“We can do that as well,” Lucius said, with a bigger smirk. “Everyone has a price to get over hurts. We know them and can work with this.”
Laughing, Harry shook his head. Quietly, he then asked, “You done or can it wait until tomorrow?”
Looking at what was on the small desk, Lucius nodded, “It's nothing pressing. I'm just triple-checking to ensure there is nothing off here.” Looking back at his husband, he asked, eyebrow arched, “Why?”
“Well, we are on our honeymoon now. I thought it rather appropriate we do the traditional thing,” Harry grinned.
Snorting at that, Lucius stood, “Yes, that's far more enjoyable than dry contracts. I say we indulge.” Walking over to Harry, he kissed him softly then began to guide him to the bedroom.
“What say as foreplay you dress in those pajamas I got you for Christmas,” Harry told him with a snicker.
Fighting the urge to roll his eyes, Lucius told him smugly, “I didn't bring them along, so we can't.”

“That's fine, I bought you a new pair,” Harry told him with an evil chuckle. “I found them in that store we went to earlier. They are a bright orange with snakes on them. I found them rather enticing.”
Groaning at that, Lucius told him, firmly, “There are no powers of persuasion great enough to get me into those, Harry.”
“Oh, I don't know. I think that would be called a challenge, Lucius,” Harry grinned as he was guided towards the bedroom. “How about if I start licking at your ankles and work my way up. Or, I can start at your jaw and lick down. We might even involve some of that whipped cream I saw in the mini that's in the bedroom.”
Eyebrow arching, Lucius smirked, “We can negotiate, I think. However, we might need to up the ante. What else do you have?”

“I've not yet begun to entice you,” Harry told him, laughing.

A.N.- And, it's done! WOOHOO! Of all the fics I've done over my time, this was, bar none, the hardest I've worked on because of the emotional level of it. Midway through it, when I found myself sniffling, with tears in my eyes, as I opened the document to work on it, I was sure I wouldn't be able to finish. In fact, I almost quit several times. However, I pressed on. I hoped you enjoyed something that came about because I couldn’t see Harry getting happily ever after with all he went through.

Now, on to the thank you's--

First and foremost, to Tenchi, my indispensable beta. Woman, you are the best and I mean that. You spend so many hours making me sound so much better than I do that I can't ever thank you enough for that. And you get nothing for doing it. I don't think the people that read these fics realize just how much a beta does for someone. In your case, it's something I can't live without anymore. Thank you, for all you do for me.

Finally, to the fans, especially the ones that left reviews. Thank you. I can honestly say that sometimes, when I was at the points where I was sure I couldn't go on with this, what you had to say helped more than you will ever know in pushing me to keep going. For that, I'm grateful. I hope you all enjoyed it!

Now, I'm going to celebrate another completed fic. Keep on the lookout for a new one coming soon and updates for the ones I still have going!

-The PsychoFruit
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Survivor's Guilt