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All That You Leave Behind	By : SickPuppy Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Harry/Snape Views: 35161 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
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Clearly begging worked, so thanks to all our reviewers!

Some comments we won't respond to as it'll give too much away, to others we'll say--check the last book--this is essentially canon (with a few alterations to make it Snarry). Also, please don't skim read chapters as that will defeat the whole point--it's a STORY and meant to be read as such. Appreciate the slow build! C'mon, people! JKR took seven books to basically write "Voldemort was beaten. Harry lived," and none of us complained, did we?!

Remember, after you're done reading, hit that review button! Don't make us beg again! :)

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Harry held Ginny�s elbow as he helped her sit down. Severus�s heart was quietly
shattering. Up until that moment he had hoped, desperately, stupidly, that he had been
wrong, that Ginny wasn�t pregnant, and that he could tell Harry the truth.

But all of that had been destroyed in that moment when Severus had realised that Ginny
was indeed carrying Harry�s baby.
"You were right, Sev," Harry said excitedly as he settled Ginny onto the sofa, "Poppy says she's just barely two weeks along, which is why Ginny couldn't tell herself, but the test is positive. I'm going to be a father!"

�Congratulations,� Severus said quietly, feeling very weary and hoping it didn't show in his actions. The excitement and awe in Harry's voice dug at his heart. He knew how important family was to Harry. It had been all he'd ever wanted.
And now he had it.

*********************************
The months passed, and Harry was the perfect husband--caring and considerate, and always solicitous of Ginny's comfort and well being. He worried incessantly when the morning sickness came, he rubbed her back and feet when they began to swell, he hurried out to get her the odd concoctions she desired when the cravings appeared. In short, he treated her as what she was, his beloved wife who was carrying his future family, and it made Severus' heart burn with envy that Harry's devotion and attention was lavished on someone other than himself.

Severus would never have believed that he could learn to tolerate the awful situation he
now found himself in, his feelings were so strong, but on the other hand he couldn't make himself leave. They didn't want him to, and, truth told, he didn't want to either, even though the pain in his heart took up permanent residence. At least he was near Harry, could see him daily, and when things became too much, he could retreat to his rooms and read, or to his lab and brew, until the chaos inside once again calmed.

Yes, Harry was the perfect husband, and Ginny was the perfect wife, Severus couldn't deny that, and he also couldn't deny that, except for the thrall she held Harry in, he liked Ginny. As much as he would like to hate her, he simply couldn't do it, and so when she came to him to confide her fears, he listened.

�I don�t want to be like my Mum,� she confessed one evening whilst the two waited for
Harry, who had said he would home late from work. �I don�t want a massive family. I have everything I want,... well, I will when this baby is born,� she rubbed her stomach fondly, �I�ll have all I want.� She paused and searched Severus� stoic face, �But � Harry, he wants a big family. Lots of kids. I think because he has always felt like he�s been robbed of his family. But I�m his family now. Well, me and you.�

Her eyes were filling with tears, and Severus felt his heart tugging at the pain clear on
the woman�s face.

�Have you tried to speaking to Harry about this?� he asked, knowing the answer already
and wishing he was callous enough to deliberately sabotage Ginny and Harry�s
relationship.

She shook her head, red hair gleaming in the early evening light that spilled into the
kitchen. �I�m kind of scared to. Last time we talked about it we�� she trailed off.

Severus nodded, remembering how close the two had been to breaking up. He tried, but
couldn�t quite suppress the flash of vindictive anger that he hadn�t broken them up then
and claimed Harry for his own.

�If I have to have lots of children to keep Harry, I�ll do it. But, I want my life too.�

Silence fell for a few moments as Severus pondered what to do. Ginny had stopped
playing Quidditch as soon as Poppy had confirmed her pregnancy. Still, it hadn�t
been quick enough for Harry who had had to watch her play her last match of the season
with his heart in his mouth in case anyone got too close to her and knocked her off her broom, or she got hit by a bludger.

Of course, the Daily Prophet had broken the news of the pregnancy improbably
quickly.

The Daily Prophet�

�Have you considered remaining in the field of Quidditch but reporting upon it, rather than
playing it? I�m sure the Daily Prophet would welcome you with open arms. Quite
apart from your name, you are a star player in your own right.�

A small smile showed on her face. �That�s a good idea, Severus,� she said softly, �thank
you. I think I'll check that out." She reached out and squeezed his arm. "What would we do without you?� she said warmly.

What could I do without you?

They passed onto more everyday conversation, but that awful thought of Severus� just
wouldn�t leave him:
What couldI do without you?

************************************

That thought flew through his mind ever more viciously when Harry came to him as well. They had settled in Severus' sitting room with a drink after Harry had put an enormously pregnant and exhausted Ginny to bed.
"Thanks," Harry said quietly, taking the glass of firewhiskey Severus handed him.
Severus sat across from him at the other end of the sofa, watching him from over the rim of his own glass. Something seemed to be on Harry's mind, and he waited for him to voice his thoughts.
Finally Severus could stand the young man's fidgeting no longer. "Harry? Is there something you wish to discuss?"
Harry continued staring into the glass in his hands, then cleared his throat to speak. "Just...I want to tell you how much it means to me to have you here, Sev. Especially now. I mean......I'm an adult now, grown. I'm married and I'm going to be a father soon." He shook his head slightly and looked up, spearing Severus with those emerald eyes. "I just....," he gulped and Severus could see tears well up. "It's what I've wanted, but I never thought I'd get it, cause I never thought I'd survive the war. All...all that I've come through..to get here....and you've been by my side all the time, even when I didn't know it, and you're still here now, and I just....I feel like I can't find the right words, can't say it enough, to thank you and tell you what it means to me."
The words should have brought joy to Severus, and they did to an extent, but they also brought back his pain more sharply than ever. The pain of loss, the pain of never having what he wanted most. "Harry....," he managed, his throat tight with that pain.

"I could never begin to say all that you mean to me, Sev," Harry said quietly, "we came such a long way to get to where we are togther, and... you're so much more than just a mentor or a friend....." He stopped and swiped his eyes, giving a little laugh. "Ginny's pregnancy hormones must be rubbing off on me." He looked at Severus again and said, "Just....thanks for being here for me. Thanks for everything."
Suddenly, he put his glass down and moved forward, throwing his arms around Severus and embracing him tightly, surprising the older man.
Severus hesitated for only a moment before setting his glass aside and tentatively sliding his arms around the younger man and returning the embrace, knowing it would be over all too soon, but to his further surprise, Harry didn't immediately pull away again, instead resting his head against Severus' shoulder with a contented sigh.
Before he could begin to question his own or Harry's motives in this, the moment was shattered by Ginny's frantic voice calling "Harry? Harry! I think my water broke! I think it's time!"

**************************

Harry and Severus sprang apart rushing to the stairs and up, finding a pale and shaky Ginny hunched over at the top. She turned pain filled eyes on them and stuttered out, "I th-think this is....a c-contraction. C-can you....help me back to bed?"
"Ginny," Harry said pleadingly, "I know you wanted to have the baby at home, but....please, I think we should go to St. Mungo's."
"But..Harry!," Ginny gasped.
"I think Harry is right, Ginny," Severus interrupted, "St. Mungo's would be best for a first birth."
"B-but...my mum.." Ginny began.
"But you are not your mother," Severus said chidingly, knowing that would turn the tide. She looked at him a few seconds, then nodded. They waited until her contraction had passed, then Harry helped her downstairs while Severus went ahead to activate the Floo and alert St. Mungo's.
Harry helped Ginny into the Floo and then frowned at Severus, who remained in the living room.
"You're coming too," he said, his panic showing in his voice, "you have to......please?!"
"Yes, please," Ginny said with an amused glance at her husband, "I think Harry's going to need the support."
Why he insisted on torturing himself, Severus would never know, but he couldn't resist the pleading look on Harry's face, and so stepped into the Floo. With Harry on one side of Ginny grasping one arm and Severus on the other, he called out, "St. Mungo's!"

********************************

Severus paused in his pacing back and forth in the waiting room, to glare once again at the student mediwizard who kept eyeing him, and wondered, despite himself, how things were going in the delivery room. He felt a vague sense of unease, but attributed it to the situation he found himself in. The student mediwizard hurried off after Severus sent him a particularly scathing scowl, and he resumed his pacing.

******************************

"Please?" Harry said again to the Mediwitch who was standing with her hand on Ginny's distended stomach, looking at her watch. "Can't you give her something for the pain?"
The Mediwitch chuckled and said, "Mr. Potter.....your wife is doing fine. If the pain gets to be too much, we'll give her a potion, but really, it's best not to if we don't have to."
"I'm fine, Harry," Ginny said tiredly from her bed, "I've had worse pain from bludgers. This has only begun."
Harry stared at her, completely baffled as to how she could be so calm. "I hate to see you in pain," he said, aware that his voice had taken on a whiny edge. The Mediwitch smiled at him from the other side of the bed and he could almost hear her "awww!" He cleared his throat in annoyance and tried to sound more adult, saying, "I don't want you to suffer, Ginny."
They were interrupted by the arrival of a student mediwizard, who levitated a tray with him. "I thought perhaps a cool cloth might help," he said with a pleasant smile.
Ginny smiled at him while Harry grabbed at the tray, soaking a cloth in the cool water and dabbing at Ginny's forehead with it, grateful to be doing something. Again the Mediwitch chuckled, and turned to the student.
"You may go tell Healer Smethwyk that I believe Mrs. Potter is ready for her exam and potions. We're coming along beautifully."
The student nodded and disappeared, and the Meditwitch turned back to Harry and Ginny. "Healer Smethwyk will need to examine you, Mrs. Potter, as he will perform the actual delivery of your baby. The potions are routine potions we give every labouring mother to help in a safe delivery."
"Pain potions?" Harry asked hopefully, and scowled at the Meditwitch when she smiled and said, "If need be, Mr. Potter."

****************************

In the waiting room, Severus felt eyes on him again, and turned to glare once more at the annoying student mediwizard.
"Do you have something to say to me?" he barked suddenly, making the young man jump.
"I merely wondered if there was anything I could get you," the student said blandly, "while you're waiting, Sir."
Severus' feelings of unease had increased, and so he gave in to them and said, "Perhaps you can find out how things are progressing with...Mrs. Potter?"
"Oh, I was just in there," the younger man said, "she's doing fine. Healer Smethwyk will be attending her now. No need to worry."
Severus studied the young man for a moment before saying, "Very well. I require nothing at this time."
The young man nodded and wandered off. Severus watched him go, his feeling of unease remaining despite the student's reassuring words.

****************************

Healer Smethwyk strode into the room, all smiles, the student mediwitch behind him levitating another tray, this one full of potion vials. He examined Ginny, pronounced her doing splendidly, clapped Harry on the shoulder heartily, and set about explaining each of the potions.
"We give these potions to all labouring mothers as a matter of course. There's a strengthening potion, a blood replenishing potion, a nutrient potion, and a mild calming draught. They're perfectly safe for mummy and baby. Nothing to worry about," he said, giving Harry a reassuring smile.
"What about pain?" Harry asked, not being able to help himself.
"There's that too, if needed, but we like to try and get by without it," the man said, turning to Ginny, "now then, Mrs. Potter, if you would swallow these please."
The Mediwitch helped Ginny sit up to swallow the potions while Healer Smethwyk took Harry aside for a word.
"I understand your concern, Mr. Potter," he said, his reassuring voice becoming annoying to Harry. "And believe me, if the pain gets to be too much, we'll certainly give your wife something for it. After all, we don't want her to suffer, do we?"
He was interrupted from saying more by the Mediwitch calling to him rather frantically. Harry turned to see Ginny lying pale and still against the sheets of her bed. His heart lept into his mouth as he rushed to her side.
"Ginny? Ginny!" he screeched, panicking.
"What happened?" Healer Smethwyk demanded of the Mediwitch, who looked rather stunned.
"I..I don't know!" she gasped, "She was fine a moment ago!"
Both the Healer and the Meditiwtch began frantically casting spell after diagnostic spell, words that Harry was too terrified to comprehend flying between them.
"I just don't understand...!"
"Perhaps an allergy...."
"Cast the ..."
"Hurry......"
Harry paced back and forth at the end of the bed, biting back the urge to scream, trying desperately to gulp back his terror, but he could feel it overwhelming him. Desperately he wished for Severus, he would know, but he was too terrified to leave the room to get him. He shakily aimed his wand toward the door and tried to cast his Patronus to send a message to Severus, but he couldn't think of the happy memory needed to cast it. His mind cried out for Severus even as his head snapped towards Ginny's bed at the Healer's frantic words.
"Quickly! We're losing them!" the Healer shouted.
Harry's wail filled the room and he rushed to Ginny's side, tears falling down his face as he grasped his wife's limp hand.

****************************

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All That You Leave Behind