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Practicing Liars	By : Lomonaaeren Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Harry/Draco Views: 63257 -:- Recommendations : 2 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter and I am not making any money from this story.

Chapter List
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Chapter
Thirty-One�Following a Theory

�� Severus had
listened in silence to the recitation Draco made to him. It was short on some
details, and Severus suspected they were left out for reasons of diplomacy as
much as time. But he had heard enough to confirm his former feeling that Harry
had been planning something dangerous.

�� He had to
wait in silence for some moments before he could bring his feelings back under
subjection and make sure that he would not burst forth into a torrent of
invective on either the messenger or the message. The silence was useful; Draco
shifted from foot to foot in terror, never suspecting that Severus was
struggling to control himself.

�� He isn�t
hurt,� Draco thought it wise to say at last. �Although perhaps he will be after
you see him,� he added, in a whisper that Severus knew he wasn�t meant to hear.

�� Severus
could not let that pass. He leaned forwards and lowered his voice to its
deepest and most impressive register. �Do you truly think that I would hurt my
son, Mr. Malfoy?� he asked.

�� Draco
turned paler than normal, but also gave Severus a thoughtful look Severus would
have believed him too crushed to muster. �I�ve never heard you call him your
son before,� he muttered.

�� He is
that,� Severus said. �You have been aware of our blood relationship from the
moment I discovered it myself. Do you think, as he did for a time, that I could
continue hating him after that?�

�� Draco met
his eyes and didn�t flinch. Severus wondered where this new strength in the boy
had come from; it was certainly not something that Lucius would have trained
into him. �Hatred isn�t always rational, sir,� he said. �I didn�t think you�d
hate him for exactly the same reasons, but you could have loathed him for
keeping the secret from you and decided that you didn�t want anything to do
with him because he didn�t want anything to do with you.�

�� Severus
stared at him. That was a sentiment he could not have imagined hearing from the
mouth of any student, except perhaps Harry, once he had allowed his mind to
bask some months under Severus�s tutelage. Oh, a few of his elder Slytherins
might have thought it, but they would have lacked the courage to say it. Only a Gryffindor with a streak
of Slytherin in his nature, one that Severus fully intended to nurture, would
have the right qualities to form the words with both mind and tongue.

�� Or a Slytherin with a streak of Gryffindor
in his nature, he decided, eyeing Draco with new appreciation, one perhaps nourished by contact with a
young man who has deeply attracted him.

�� I do not,�
Severus said. �And I will not hurt him.�

�� Draco
turned a little paler this time, his breathing faster, the respect in his voice
more fragile, but he still spoke the words. �Intentionally or
unintentionally, sir?�

�� Severus
folded his fingers on the desk in a bid for patience. �No one can guard against
unintentional hurt forever,� he said. �My dearest friends could not do so.�
Again he saw the moment when Lily had saved him from James, and, all unwitting,
had humiliated him worse than his bitterest rival could have. �I will do my
best to guard against hurting him intentionally.�

�� Draco
examined him minutely, then nodded. Severus moved the
attack to ground where he felt more comfortable. �Why are you questioning me
about such things?� he added smoothly. �I would have expected such an
interrogation from one of his little friends, not from you.�

�� Draco
flushed. �I know,� he said. �But none of them know, so they can�t come and talk to you like this.�

�� Severus
nodded. �And has he decided when to tell them?� Since Harry seemed so fond of
surprising him, he would prefer to have a little advance knowledge if he was
suddenly to find his office filled with Gryffindors.

�� I don�t
know,� Draco said. He was beginning to look stubborn in the way that Lucius
used to�cheekbones so pointed they looked as if they would explode through his
skin, eyes too steady�and Severus fathomed that Draco might think he was being
asked to betray Harry�s secrets.

�� Very
well,� Severus said, and turned to face the door as he heard the sound of
footsteps drawing near. There was a knock a moment later, but the door opened
before he could call permission to come in.

�� My son does things like this, Severus
thought, and he could not have said whether the thought was proud or
exasperated or wondering or neutral.

�� Harry stood
there with his shoulders so straight that Severus thought again of Lily, this
time of the way she had scolded him about his posture when he slumped in his
chair in Potions. He had obviously come prepared for confrontation. He moved
into the room and shut the door behind him, never taking his gaze from
Severus�s face.

�� So Draco
told you about destroying the Horcrux and leaving me alone with Dumbledore,� he
said.

�� Yes,�
Severus said. That, and no more. Giving vent to more
would mean breaking his promise to himself about scolding Harry.

�� Harry
cocked his head and studied him as if he didn�t know how to deal with a Severus
who was not storming or scowling at him. Severus rather liked the sensation,
and held still, waiting to see what would happen next.

�� Draco, as
it turned out.

�� He didn�t
hurt you, did he?� Draco stepped closer to Harry, peering at his face, and then
at his hands, and especially his arms. Severus could not be surprised, seeing
the way that Harry tended to hide his wounds from them, especially the welts
that the Dementors had inflicted.

�� Of course
not,� Harry said. �Dumbledore isn�t someone who hurts with spells�not most of
the time,� he added with a faraway look in his eyes, and Severus wondered if he
was thinking of the one time he had seen Dumbledore in battle, with the Dark
Lord in the Atrium of the Ministry. �He uses words. And he wanted my
forgiveness, so I was the one with the power to hurt him instead of the other
way around.�

�� Severus
raised his eyebrows, but stayed silent for the moment. He would not have
expected such perception of his son, either�or not until he had had the
training of him for several months. Now he began to wonder if Harry had those
perceptions, but simply did not choose to exercise them all the time, instead
leaping precipitously into the adventures that his friends or his own soul
required of him.

�� Then he was
forced to smooth those thoughts back into the general mass of them, because
Harry was turning to face him, and seemed to have something to say.

*

�� Harry
wished he could relax his shoulders. But he had stood this way when he was
confronting Uncle Vernon, too, the rare times he had dared to, and when he had
blown up Aunt Marge. It just seemed to be his �talking to people I don�t like
that much and fear a little bit� stance.

�� Which is better than the �I
hate you� way I stand when I face Voldemort, he had to acknowledge to
himself.

�� You
probably don�t like me confronting the Horcrux with the Universal Defense
Spell, or going up to talk to Dumbledore about what he said to me,� he told
Snape.

�� No,� Snape
said, in a deeper voice and with a smothered sound that Harry had never heard
before. �I do not.�

�� Harry
paused thoughtfully and looked at him. He was trying to understand everybody,
it sometimes seemed to him. At the least, he had understood what Dumbledore was going to do to him, even if he
couldn�t forgive it. Maybe he could try to understand why it seemed so utterly
important to Snape that they were related, why the knowledge of him sleeping
with Harry�s mother changed things.

�� Well,� he
said, �thanks for not yelling at me, anyway. But�can you explain one more time why this matters so much? I�m not really
changed from the boy you knew for years. I don�t look any different.�

�� Snape
glanced expressively at his face, and Harry was sure he was thinking of his
glamour. Harry glared. He didn�t want Draco to notice it. He would probably
feel that Harry had been lying to him, and Harry only wanted two emotionally
draining confrontations today�three, if you counted the one with the tiara.
This tiny thing could bloody well wait.

�� My mother
is still who you thought she was,� Harry said. �I still behaved in the way you
hated. I�m still in Gryffindor. I�m still Sirius�s godson. I�m still arrogant
and disrespectful to you and reckless. I still have to defeat someone whose name you flinch at. What is there in all
of that to make you care more about me than you used to?�

�� Snape shot
a sideways glance at Draco, but Harry just waited. Draco might as well be here
to hear this, since he knew everything Harry was talking about.

�� Except the glamour. But that really can wait. It�s so small
compared to the other things.

�� Snape tapped
his fingers together, and then decided that he should answer. His voice was
very low, the words faltering, and Harry forgot some of his resentment against
the man as he listened.

�� From the
time I was a child, I knew there was one person in the world to protect and
care for me, one person in the world I could protect and care for. That was my
mother, whose name was Eileen Prince.�

�� My grandmother, Harry thought in wonder,
and then wanted to scowl at himself. Now
I�m doing it, acting like blood family is more important than other people.

�� She
impressed on me the importance of blood,� Snape said, in a way that made Harry
sure he�d remembered that later when he decided to join the Death Eaters.
�There was only one person I differed with her on.� He looked at Harry, in the
way he had sometimes, as if he was trying to find something in his eyes and the
lines around his mouth that wasn�t there. �Your mother.
She was only a friend, and my mother was displeased that I liked her so much. I
do not think she would have been displeased if she had known what the ultimate
result of that would be.�

�� Harry was
blushing. He didn�t know why, but he was. He stood there,
eyes locked on Snape�s, and didn�t move, though, because it would have been
weak.

�� But maybe he only wants me to look like my
mother, Harry reminded himself. That made it a little easier to bear
Snape�s eyes.

�� Since she
was the only one in my world for so long,� Snape continued quietly, �the only
one who cared if I lived or died, I came to value her word.� Harry noticed that
he didn�t say anything about his father, but he was wise enough not to ask. The
tone Snape was talking in, or at least the look on his face, was the same one
that Harry used when he was avoiding talking about the Dursleys. �I had not thought,
when she died, that there would ever be anyone else. She was the only child of
an only child, and her parents were dead before she married my father. I had
not planned to have children.

�� Now I
discover that there is someone else.� Snape stood up and came around the desk,
with movements so soft and quick that he was a few inches away before Harry
could blink. Harry tensed and prevented himself from backing up. �Someone who existed under my nose and whom I did not know about
for sixteen years. I am sick at
the waste of time. I could have known about you and cared whether you lived or
died for other reasons than your importance to the wizarding world. I could
have raised you. I could have tried to do for you what my mother did for me.�
His voice went even lower, became even more forceful. �And you wonder that I
care?�

�� Harry
blinked. He wanted to step away now, but for different reasons. The way that
Snape�s eyes burned�

�� No one ought to look at me that way. No one
has. I don�t think even Mum and Dad did, because they knew about me and�and
James thought I was his blood, and they planned to raise me.

�� I don�t think I can be that important to
someone without breaking.

�� I don�t
wonder about it, now,� Harry finally managed to say. He was grateful that his
voice remained smooth and under his control, though it was quieter and more
strained than he�d like. �Thanks for telling me.�

�� Snape
should have backed away and let him go then, at least according to all the
rules Harry knew. He shouldn�t have stepped closer, staring at him as though he
thought being closer to him would allow him to see every thought in Harry�s
head. He can already do that, Harry
thought, his breathing rattling as he stared up at Snape. It�s called Legilimency. Has he forgotten about it?

�� Do you
think you could be my son?� Snape
asked, and his voice was so soft that Harry saw Draco edging forwards to listen
out of the corner of his eye. �Could you acknowledge our blood relationship to
other people?�

�� He�s asking whether I could, Harry
reminded himself when the first negative impulse almost made him open his
mouth. Not whether I will. I said that I
would try to understand.

�� And really,
wasn�t it easier than understanding why Dumbledore had had to promise to kill
him?

�� Harry wanted
to hide his face, or turn away, or laugh. No,
it�s really not. It�s easier for me to understand why someone would think I had
to die to save the world than why someone would value me as his son.

�� But just
because it was hard was no reason not to do it. Harry had learned that years
ago, the first time he went after Voldemort (and what he thought was Snape)
when he was eleven years old. So he lifted his eyes to Snape�s face now, and
gave a little nod. �When I get more used to it,� he added.

�� Snape
relaxed, and stepped away from him. �And do you understand why I might want to
keep you safe from danger?� he asked in a less intense voice that made Harry
relax in turn. �Why I might be�irritated that you had sought
to confront a Horcrux on your own, and then the Headmaster?�

�� Yes,�
Harry said. �I can.� If someone mattered
that much to me, I wouldn�t want to see them die.

�� But he
couldn�t just back down and do everything Snape wanted him to, because Harry
thought Snape probably wanted him to sit in a dark room all day with a wand in
one hand and a mug of sleeping potion in the other and his body wrapped in
thick blankets. So he added, �And do you understand why I had to go and do
those things anyway? And why I didn�t tell you?�

*

�� Draco had
wanted to roll his eyes when Harry started asking those questions about blood
again. He knew Harry wasn�t stupid, and the answers were perfectly obvious to
him, to anyone who had a parent�

�� Oh.

��

�� Draco felt
kind of stupid then, and looked at the floor so he wouldn�t have to see
Professor Snape�s eyes as he answered Harry�s latest question.

�� I
understand,� Professor Snape said, �but I think it due to an excess of care on
your part. There are other people who can handle the fate of the world. The
Headmaster has not hesitated to do so.� Draco winced at the amount of venom in
his voice. Just being in the same room
as that was uncomfortable. �Someone else could have cast the needed spells on
the Horcrux.�

�� But not as
fast,� Harry said eagerly. �Don�t you see, sir? There are other spells that
could have identified the traps and pulled out that evil, but not as fast. And
if we�re going to defeat him, then I
think we have to move as fast as we can, before he finds out that we�ve been
destroying Horcruxes and makes some new ones.�

�� Draco
shuddered. He hadn�t even thought of
that.

�� That
argument does carry a certain weight,� said Professor Snape, and Draco thought
he was choosing his words carefully, perhaps because he didn�t want to annoy
Harry. �But is there anything in the knowledge you possess, of Horcruxes or of
the Dark Lord, to tell you that no one else could have done that as well as
you?�

�� Not as well, I don�t think,� Harry said. �You
know that I�m good at casting spells like that.�

�� You
mistook my words,� Professor Snape said, and lowered his voice again. �Could
someone else not have performed that spell in
addition to you?�

�� Harry
frowned. �I don�t know,� he said. �I didn�t think about that.�

�� Well, do
it next time,� Draco said, who had got over feeling awkward and who felt they
had ignored him and had conversations that should have been private for long
enough. �You said that you wanted me to explain the Potions theory that you
didn�t understand to you?�

�� Harry gave
him a startled look, and Professor Snape gave him the one that he usually gave
Gryffindors right before he assigned them detention. Draco gulped. But in the
end, the professor only wheeled away and said, �I will not scold you. What is
done is done. And you will need my help to get rid of the last Horcrux.�

�� Harry
relaxed, but he still eyed the professor�s back with a wonder that made Draco
want to scoff and touch his shoulder in reassurance both at once. He still can�t really conceive that Snape
would want to help him with this, or be glad that Harry has to go through him.

�� The
Entwining Potions will work,� Professor Snape continued, in such a firm and
flat voice that Draco didn�t realize what he was saying at first. Then all the
breath went out of him at once, and he leaned forwards and had to brace one
fist on Professor Snape�s desk.

�� The
professor glanced back at him with a spark of contempt in his eyes, but Draco
didn�t care. This was enormous news,
and the professor could despise him all he liked for not standing there like a
perfect statue, the way his father would have done. Draco wasn�t his father.

�� To take the Horcrux out of my soul?� Harry�s voice croaked.
He audibly cleared his throat and tried again. �But there�s a catch, isn�t
there? You would have told me about it immediately if there wasn�t one.�

�� Professor
Snape turned and looked at Harry again, and Draco thought he discerned a
relaxation in some of the lines in his face. Of course he would like a son who realizes the truth about something
that he tried to keep to himself, Draco thought. He�s like that. �Yes,� he said. �The removal will cause a great
deal of pain.�

�� A pause,
while Harry�s face grew puzzled and wary. �That�s it?� he asked at last. �Don�t
you think I�m used to suffering by now?� There was a harsh pride in his voice
that made Draco roll his eyes. He would
be better off without that. All it does is make him sound like he�s
aspiring to be a martyr.

�� I know you
are,� Professor Snape answered. �But you said you did not wish to receive more
suffering at my hands.�

�� Harry folded
his arms and seemed about to say something, but stopped himself several times.
Draco watched him in interest. He�d never seen Harry struggle so hard between
doubt and forthrightness; in general, he seemed to believe that he had a
perfect right to blurt whatever came into his head.

�� I think I
can distinguish between different kinds of suffering,� Harry said at last.
�There was the kind that you did to me on purpose, and the kind that you did to
me because you just weren�t thinking��
a little flash from Harry�s eyes made Draco think that second kind was less
acceptable to him than the first ��and the kind that you did because you had no
choice. I think this is that third kind. And I�ll endure what I have to. I
don�t want to die.�

�� Professor
Snape closed his eyes once, and then nodded sharply and whirled back to his
desk, where several vials stood ready. Draco stepped towards Harry and pressed
his shoulder briefly against his, hoping Harry would sense his approval.

�� He really is trying. And that will make
Professor Snape try harder. Or, Draco amended, remembering what he knew
about Professor Snape�s sense of, and opinion of, fairness, I hope it will.

*

�� Harry
leaned on the desk and listened as Professor Snape explained the theory of the
Entwining Potions, and why it would hurt so much to have the piece of
Voldemort�s soul removed from his, and why Snape had discovered one potion that
would work when he hadn�t had any idea before.

�� As he had
expected, Snape forgot that Harry didn�t understand anything about Potions and
started talking in terms of theories and �resonances� and �affinities� that
Harry didn�t understand. When the explanation was finished, he nodded, said,
�Thank you, sir,� and then turned to Draco.

�� Draco
flushed a little, but Harry thought it was more from pleasure than from
embarrassment. �Listen, Harry,� he said, leaning forwards and winding his
fingers together, �you know that you can�t separate your fingers from your hand
without causing pain, right?�

�� Harry
nodded sharply, trying not to remember the one time when Dudley
had tried that. He saw Snape watching from the corner of his eye, and gave him
a weak smile. Will he be offended that
Draco has to be the one to explain this to me? he
wondered for the first time. Or just that
I didn�t understand it?

�� The piece
of soul that the Dark Lord left in you is the same way,� Draco continued
earnestly. �It�s joined to yours like my fingers are joined to my hand.� He
gave a tug on his fingers as he spoke, and winced. �I think the Entwining Potion
that Professor Snape discovered is specifically meant to separate things that
are mingled like this, and he just has to adapt it so that it can affect a
non-physical thing like a soul. Right, sir?� He
glanced confidingly up at Professor Snape.

�� Harry looked
up, too, but Snape only nodded once, and then leaned back with his eyes fixed
on them. Or mainly on him, Harry
decided. He looked away, still uncomfortable with being that important to
anyone who hadn�t chosen to become his friend.

�� That�s it,
really,� Draco said, and separated his hands with a sharp jerk. �Before,
Professor Snape didn�t know how closely the soul pieces were joined, because
the only other living Horcrux was Nagini, and of course he didn�t get a chance
to examine her before he destroyed her.�

�� Harry
nodded. �When can we start, sir?� he asked Snape.

�� Snape
looked at him without answering for a moment, and Harry wondered if he had done
something else stupid. He always felt so stupid
with his father around, not understanding what he said, and stammering, and
not speaking the right way.

�� But, he reminded himself, you said that you were going to try to
understand him. Unless he actually says that you�re stupid, or hurts you again,
you can try.

�� And if he doesn�t start trying back, that
will only prove that he really doesn�t like or want me after all, and then I
can stop acting this way. So either I�ll be able to relax in
a while, or I�ll have a father.

�� That
thought still made Harry tense his shoulders, but he held motionless and waited
for his father to respond.

�� I must
prepare the potion,� Snape said at last, �and that will take another fortnight.
Then we must test it. Another week. Three
weeks at least.�

�� Harry
concealed his irritation at being told the number�he must not think I�m any good at maths, either�and nodded. �All
right, sir. Thank you.�

�� And Snape�s
face softened, for just an instant, a moment so fast Harry would have missed it
if he�d been blinking. And then Snape looked just as usual, and started to talk
about brewing the potion in a way that Harry knew meant he would need Draco to
translate for him again.

�� But that
look made him hopeful. And he was sure Snape wouldn�t have worn it a month ago.

�� I can trust them both, he thought,
leaning against Draco�s shoulder. I think
I can.

*

�� polka dot: That�s true. On the other hand, telling Ron and
Hermione about that would mean telling them about a lot of other things.

�� SP777: I
would have responded much more badly, but on the other hand, I don�t have a
history of being told that I�ll probably die for the good of the world anyway.

�� Okay, well,
send it if you want.

�� k lave
demo: That�s probably why Harry was able to take it so well, because he did
feel that he had chosen the fate of fighting Voldemort himself, if not tor be a
Horcrux.

�� I�m really
glad that you do like the emotions.

�� MewMew2:
Thanks!

�� Thrnbrooke:
Here it is.

�� HeartStar;
I don�t know, but I would try to bear in mind that, if the world really was
going to be destroyed, there would be no safe place for me or my child anyway.

�� Mr Spears:
Because, as well be explained, living Horcruxes are different from objects.
Hermione�s spell wouldn�t have detected Nagini, either.

�� anciie: Yes. I would have warned for Harry�s death if he was
going to die.

�� racheldr:
No. The Horcrux is definitely still there. Besides, since Fawkes healed the
wound so soon after Harry got it, I don�t think the poison would have stayed
long in his system.
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Practicing Liars