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You Will Not Kiss Me	By : Prosperosdaughter Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Snape/Remus Views: 22836 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 2
Disclaimer: JK Rowling & her associates own the Harry Potter universe and I make no money from my stories.

Chapter List
- 30
- 31
- 32
Chapter 31: Thoughts from Egypt

It had taken nearly nine months for Lupin to unravel Snape's inhibitions to the extent he had. It took two days without him for Snape to sink himself into Occlumency so deep that he could barely register anyone else's presence at times.

Lupin had left, the blasted children were back and Moody seemed to despise Snape even more than when he had him under arrest all those years ago. He didn't even pretend to respect him as a professor of this school – his animosity was overt and embarassing.

Moody emanated danger. Snape felt his presence and it felt malignant to him in a way it hadn't before. He felt it could lead to a ruination of his plans for redemption. He didn't know why he felt that about Moody; he just did ... in his blood.

What was more was that Moody was supposed to like Lupin, but he heard him call him "half-breed" under his breath when Dumbledore gave him Lupin's letter after the feast. Could Lupin have been so wrong about him?

Moody troubled him. It worried him the way Moody had looked at him so brutally appraisingly throughout the welcome feast. So Snape Occluded deeper than he had since the days of the Dark Lord.

Tired and unhappy, he prepared for bed, knowing there would be no solace there either as Lupin was over two thousand miles away. He remembered the package he had not yet unpacked from their time at the farmhouse. He had packed the blanket on which Lupin had transformed and kept it in a preserving charm. He opened it now and breathed in Lupin's strong transformation musk and it calmed him. He lay in bed and held the blanket to him to smell.

Lupin had asked him to touch himself at night so he could feel him. It was only their second night apart, but he found himself too embarrassed to do it so just lay awake for hours, thinking about doing it until he eventually drifted off.

The dream is dark, it is erotic. He is surrounded by a dark crimson glow, and he is swirling, levitating around as if in the water of the Lake yet warm zephyrs lightly buffet all of his naked body. His legs and arms are outspread, his back arches and his neck extends, thrown back in ecstasy as he slowly writhes. His skin is being tantalised. Set on fire. Thrilled. Thrilled by the touch of fingers, palms of hands, a tongue, lips and teeth playing on his skin . On his bites. Down the tendons of his neck, on his Adam's apple, down his sides, down his breast bone, to his navel, circling down to his pubic hair, tracing along his too-hard erection, into the sensitive slit at the top and around and under to his testicles, to his most sensitive bite, playing on it until it reaches his opening and plays inside pulsing on that bundle of nerves that makes him cry out in an agony of ecstasy.

Every touch he receives makes him buck and snap in mid-air in magnified sensations of rapture. He strokes the face of his accomplished lover that hovers over him, whose every touch thrills him to the core. He tells him he wants him, he needs him, he begs for him, he cries out for him. He fondles his lover's cock – it's hard and erotic and he desperately wants it. He strokes his lover's virile, tautly muscled body and needs it.

He opens his eyes to stare into crystalline blue eyes and runs his hand through his lover's hair and fists it. Hair that is long and thick. He rubs his face in that amazing hair – that luscious red hair falling over his face as Bill Weasley returns his kisses with vigour and passion, entering him as his orgasm explodes and exquisitely shatters his body like glass.

ooo000ooo

Snape's eyes whipped open as he thrashed awake into a crouch, dripping with sweat, head muzzy with desire and confusion, his stomach covered in his own sperm. No! No! Remus will kill me for that! He crouched there, panting, his eyes wide with no understanding what had happened. He hadn't had a wet dream since he was a teenager and certainly didn't expect to have one about a 24 year old ex-pupil who he suspected had designs on his mate. What did it mean? He knew one thing: there'd be no more sleep for him tonight.

He remembered in the morning Lupin telling him he could influence his dreams. Why on earth would he send him a dream of Bill Weasley? Was he testing him? Well, he'd failed that one then. He shook his head; he just didn't understand. Just send a dream of himself if Lupin wanted to turn him on!

Before breakfast, he received a letter from Lupin. The cover was a friendly letter purely telling him his new contact address and all sorts of details of his new quarters and the team he was working with, the digs they'd be working on, and raptures about Gringotts library. Snape smiled. Others might find that dull, but he could bet he'd be as ecstatic as Lupin if he could see that library. He read it and re-read it, committing every detail to memory, even scrutinising Lupin's handwriting, its curves and loops because it was written to him.

Then for the best part, the part for which his throat was dry in anticipation. He held his wand over the parchment and cast the charm he and Lupin had worked and the parchment revealed itself to have a further fold and within that was Lupin's private message.

My darling Severus,

I miss you so very much already. I know it has only been two nights but I don't know how I ever slept alone before, for I certainly can't now. I long for you, my own Severus. I think I'm going to find this very difficult. Please think of me so I can feel you and it will make it bearable. I miss your touch and the closeness of your body. I know it is alien to you, but it would mean so much to me and I promise you, you will enjoy it.

I'm trying very hard not to be lewd to protect your sensibilities. That is how much I love you. Feel free to be as lewd with me as you like! I'm almost breathless just thinking about you.

I would kiss you all over if you were here. All my love to you, send your love back and think of me at night, your own Remus.

Snape read it over and over again. It turned him on and it warmed his heart too. He imagined Lupin in his bed at night and tried to picture himself with him. He wondered what Lupin would write if he were to be lewd. He wondered if he would enjoy it. He suspected he probably would. Lupin had certainly liberated Snape to a huge degree about sex from what he used to think.

That dream you sent to me was pretty lewd though, Remus! Snape thought. He stared at the letter for a long time. It was a love letter. His first.

He would reply after classes. It was a perfect start to his day.

It went downhill fairly quickly thereafter.

Classes were the usual slow torture. Not one student of any talent in the latest intake of first years and just the usual dunderheads in his remaining classes of the day. He just wished the day away so he could sit down and reply to Lupin. He had cleared up after them and made his way to his office and was marking up his notes for the day before going to dinner when there was a loud clamouring at his office door.

He drew himself straight to his full height to look imposing, his scowl naturally settling on his features to be interrupted so rudely and went to grab the door from the hand of the perpetrator, when the door flung open and a wild-looking Moody stood on the threshold with Draco Malfoy clutched uncomfortably by one slight arm.

Snape stepped back as Moody limped forward still clutching a very unwilling and frightened looking Draco.

"Snape," Moody barked. "This is one of yours, I believe." He pushed Draco into Snape's office, as he held Snape's furious gaze with his normal eye, as his mechanical eyes whizzed up and down Snape's body, as if measuring the threat.

"Thinks it's okay to attack opponents when their backs are turned," Moody scowled, his natural eye on Draco, his wild blue eye still on Snape, piercing him with it. "Is that what the House of Snakes teaches its students, Snape?" Moody sneered. "Teach 'em betrayal young, do ya, Snape?"

"I think," said Snape, as smoothly as he could muster so Moody wouldn't know how discomfited Snape felt by his presence, "it would be helpful if you could start from the beginning. I am at a loss to know why you have brought Mr. Malfoy to my presence under ... if I may say ... some physical duress." He Occluded deeply, as that magical eye never left him. "Mr. Malfoy, please take a seat over there." He pointed to a seat away from them both so he could engage with Moody fully, as little as he relished the prospect, and stood in front of Draco.

"Draws his wand on a student who's walking away from him," Moody barked. "Nothing else to add! It speaks for itself, Snape. What will ya do about it?" Moody's ruined jaw jutted in challenge.

Snape tilted his head to one side, then turned to Draco. "Mr. Malfoy. Is this correct? Do you deserve chastisement for drawing your wand to a student's back?" he asked with a silky poise he did not feel.

"My father will hear about this, Professor Snape!" He pointed to Moody, his eyes shining with tears of humiliation. "He's already turned me into a ferret in front of the whole school after Potter tried to abuse my mother. He's only down here because Professor McGonagall said he had to report me to my Head of House!" Draco babbled. Why was Snape not surprised that Potter was behind this and that Dumbledore's latest appointment should break the rules for that brat? It really was too maddening. For all Draco's faults (and they were many), he was only a child and should not have been manhandled by this ... brute ... it was too much.

"You transfigured a student, Professor Moody," Snape said, softly and a delicate emphasis on the title he felt was unwarranted. "I should imagine Professor McGonagall was ... displeased with that," Snape finished. He abruptly turned to Draco. "I think that is punishment enough Mr. Malfoy. Leave us," he hissed. Draco scooted out of the office without waiting to be told twice and Snape turned to face a doubly angry Moody.

"Thank ya clever, Snape," Moody advanced on Snape menacingly. "Looking after your old school mate's kid. I know you both of old. I know you're cut from the same corrupt and rotten cloth. Think I don't know where your true loyalties lie." His voice was low and ominous as he loomed into Snape's face. "I know all about you, Severus Snape. And I'll be watching you, just biding my time. I believe you owe quite a reckoning to those you've betrayed over the years. Quite the pound of flesh," he hissed. "I'll be there to see it stripped from your bones. Better still, to strip it myself," he leered maliciously.

Snape stood his ground, but his guts turned, partly at the face that was so wrecked since he last had to look at it close to, but mainly due to the barely suppressed violence that emanated from Moody.

Both Moody's eyes bore into Snape's. He felt Moody try to infiltrate his mind, but he could not. And that was off. Moody had entered his mind as a regular form of interrogation when Snape was held at the Ministry after the first Wizarding War. Moody had been accomplished enough then, although he had not penetrated Snape's Occlumency. Yet now, he could not. Perhaps, he was losing some of his skill that had originally made Snape fear him all those years ago. Well, if he was losing skill, he was gaining vindictiveness. He understood completely that Moody was looking for any reason to thrash Snape. He would have to be careful of him. Moody was like an aged creature: mad and dangerous.

Moody faced off Snape for a while longer, and then limped heavily out of his office, slamming the door.

Snape wondered whether to speak to Dumbledore. He would probably only be disregarded. But there was no doubt in Snape's mind, Moody was on the very edge of madness.

After dinner, he returned to his quarters and got out Lupin's letter which he'd carried round in his breast pocket all day. He re-read them both over and over again.

He penned a friendly reply, telling Lupin about the Sorting, the youngest Creevy being fished out of the lake by the giant squid, the erosion of Moody's face, even turning Draco Malfoy into a ferret. He told him in as much detail as he could remember the reactions of the students to the announcement of the tournament: all those little details that Lupin would enjoy. He also told Lupin about his reservations about Moody's state of mind. He would be interested to hear Lupin's perspective. That was the easy letter to write.

He cast the spell on the parchment for the folded private sheet and sat for some time wondering how to write in a way that would give Lupin pleasure. He had never written a love letter before.

My dear Remus.

Tergeo – he siphoned the ink away.

Darling Remus,

Tergeo.

Remus my love,

Tergeo.

He felt ... just silly. He had never been romantic. But Lupin was romantic and he would want to read it. So - what did he feel about Lupin?

Beloved,

Yes, because that is what he was. He was Snape's beloved, his best beloved.

Beloved,

I miss you too. (So difficult to write this...) I lie awake just thinking of you and barely sleep at all.

Have you influenced my dreams? (Is that too blunt? No sure whether to say anything else – what if he hadn't and my dream of Weasley is my invention? What will I do?) It's you I want to dream of. (That is good isn't it? It tells Lupin what I want without being smutty.)

I'm sorry I find it so difficult to do what you've asked. (Makes me sound weak. But it's true, so what else can I say?) I do want to, I promise, it's just difficult. (Needy – Hell, this is too difficult! I don't know how!)

Tergeo. – I'll try again in the morning.

He is levitating and turning in the soft red crimson glow. All his senses are aflame. His lover is behind him. His lover's presence is like a flaming brand to his back. He feels his lover's hands brace his shoulders tightly to enter him. His lover places his chin on his shoulder and places flaming kisses on his neck. My Severus, Remus breathes into his ear over and over again, his cock is made of sheer excruciating pleasure and it sears into him, so large and so potent, he thinks he will split. Ahh Remus. He turns his face and holds Remus's eyes, so dilated and full of lust as Remus thrusts more deeply than humanly possible cleaving him open with blissful waves of hot desire.

Touch yourself, Remus murmurs the order, and he feels his own cock stiffening more until it's painful, two hands: one squeezing his balls and the other stroking him and rubbing his head, practised, deft hands but not his own. A tongue flicks into the sensitive slit to taste the secretion he is making. He groans. Relax Severus. Enjoy the pack. Remus is still thrusting into him by fathoms and the mouth is taking him hungrily, humming against his shaft and the hands to continue to massage him underneath. He looks down into the crystalline blue eyes of Bill, his red hair pulled back in a pony tail so he can see Bill sucking him greedily. Severus thinks he will die soon as his senses begin to shred.

His hand finds the tie and releases Bill's hair and he fists into it tightly. That's right, Severus, Remus encourages, his voice low with desire. Let me see you move into his mouth, he mutters into his ear. He pulls Bill's head to him hard and Bill sucks and draws on his cock. He pulls Bill to him by his beautiful hair over and over as Remus continues to thrust into him and he is delirious with pleasure.

Opposite to me Bill. Let's take Severus all the way, Remus murmurs and as Remus withdraws, so Bill pulls back and as Remus snaps back in hard and fathoms deep, so Bill plunges on Severus's cock to the back of Bills throat, sucking hard. Severus roars as he feels his senses unravel and shred fully and he shatters like glass in a myriad pieces.

ooo000ooo

Snape sat bolt upright from his sleep, again bathed in his own sweat and caked in his sperm, eyes wide in shock and breathing hard. Is this what Remus wants us to do? I don't think I can. Is it just his way of getting my attention? Turning me on so I touch myself? What if it isn't? Snape got up to pace his drawing room. He really needed some sleep. If there was to be no sleep tonight, he would have to stock up on Dreamless Sleep again, but he was worried about dependence. He ordered a camomile tea from the kitchen and drank it and tried to sleep again.

ooo000ooo

He is levitating but lying flat in the soft crimson glow that seems to throb with pleasure of its own. Remus is lying at his side, his hand right hand curled into his black hair around the back of his head, Remus's tongue probing one bite on his nipple sending electric thrills to his groin. His other hand plays between his legs. His legs are splayed so wide as to strain his hips but it heightens his cresting pleasure he feels inside of Remus's fingers bringing him to an agonising pitch, raking his nerves on end. Bill lies on the other side. His left hand plays in Severus's hair, his mouth sucks as his teeth hold his other nipple, flicking it with his tongue, his right hand grips Severus's cock and is pacing is firmly in time with Remus's fingers. Bill's red hair falls over his chest enticingly. He holds both men's cocks in his hands and his is being driven wild by their ministrations and their throbbing cocks he is trying to stroke. I will take you, Severus. You take Bill, he hears Remus command him softly making his whole body throb and pulse all over as Remus turns Severus onto his side so his back is to Remus's chest and Remus starts to push into him. Bill turns himself for Severus's pleasure, his red hair spilling over his back ...

ooo000ooo

No, it's too much! It's just too much, Snape's mind screamed. He jolted awake just in time. All right! All right! He cursed his own body. I give in. I need that redhead out of my brain. He has no business offering himself to me like that. I can't cope with that. Now he knew the dreams came from Lupin. Snape understood why that debauched image upset him so much, but Lupin wouldn't have a clue what he'd just done to Snape. Snape bolted to the bathroom for a cold shower. He would not deny Lupin any longer. Tomorrow night he would do what Lupin wanted not just so he didn't have that image, but he desperately needed him.

He couldn't get back to sleep now so he sat down with his letter to Lupin again. After some time, he wrote it, dressed and, long before dawn, sent his owl so it would reach Egypt later that day. He also had a plan for a present for Lupin. It would help.

Beloved,

I cannot sleep.

I burn for you every night, all night.

We will touch tonight.

I love you.

Severus
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You Will Not Kiss Me