Ceremonies of Strife | By : Lomonaaeren Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Harry/Draco Views: 16218 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 1 |
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Chapter
Thirty-Two—Full Speed to Understanding
“I don’t
understand it.”
Harry kept
his face relaxed and his eyes aimed straight ahead as Weston walked slowly
around him. On the other side of the classroom, Lowell was walking as slowly
around Draco. Draco’s face was locked in a frown, but he said nothing. Harry
knew his true state from that “sense” of him that he’d developed more than
anything else.
“A barrier
remains between you, but you are functioning together more effectively than you
ever have,” Weston said, halting between them and glancing back and forth as if
she thought Draco and Harry had done this on purpose to perplex her. “How is
that possible? What is the nature of the barrier?”
“A private
argument,” Draco said, before Harry could come up with any soothing lie. “You
don’t need to worry about it, Aurors.”
“But we
should.” Lowell leaned forwards, staring into Draco’s face from so close that
Harry knew he would have backed away if he was Draco. But Draco stared back
boredly, not twitching an eyelash, and Lowell finally made a disgusted sound
and backed away himself. “We are the ones training you in using compatible
magic.”
Draco
smiled. “Exactly. So why should you worry if you’re doing it right and that
means that we’re leaning things?”
Lowell
turned and looked at Weston instead of speaking again. She raised her hands and
extended them, palms up and empty. Harry had no idea what the gesture meant,
but Lowell suddenly looked more resigned than frustrated.
“Very
well,” he said. “Be here in a week’s time for your next lesson. By then, I
think you should have mastered casting through each other’s wands without any
unfortunate accidents.” He touched
the singed ends of his dark hair where one of Draco’s spells, cast through
Harry’s wand, had caught him, and raised an eyebrow.
“Yes,
Auror,” Draco said, and then grabbed Harry’s wrist and dragged him out of
there. Harry had time to nod to both of them before he was forced to follow
Draco, but that was all.
“Do you
think that was the right thing to do?” Harry asked, as they rattled back to
their rooms. No one else was awake this early in the morning in the trainee
barracks, at least most of the time, and their footsteps seemed to bounce off
the walls more loudly than Harry knew they really did. “They might only be more
curious now.”
“They know
that we’re hiding something, but not what,” Draco said shortly. “I’m more
worried about what our enemies actually know, and what they could use to hurt
us.”
Harry
looked at him sidelong. Draco’s smile had dropped away as if he’d never used
it, and his teeth were gritted, his face shiny with sweat. Harry blinked.
“Draco, what’s wrong?”
“I’ve been
thinking more about what you told me the other day,” Draco said. Harry
remembered what he had said about Portillo Lopez and her order, and nodded
slowly, though he didn’t see what Draco was getting at. “What’s to keep them
from attacking you at any time they like?” Draco asked grimly. “How do you know
you can trust them? What happens if they go to the Aurors themselves about what
you did, or even drop a note? Or she
could pretend to find a note like that.”
“I don’t
know,” Harry admitted. He hadn’t thought much about that “danger.” “Why should
she? If she wanted to, she and her people could probably have killed me back
there on that battlefield. I was tired, and there isn’t much I could have done
to stop them.”
“Killing
you is one thing,” Draco said. “Especially far away from the Ministry, where
they would have to explain what they were doing there themselves, and they
might not have been able to get rid of all the witnesses. But getting you
arrested for Dark magic? The press would be having too much fun with the
accusations in the first place to pay any attention to how you’d been found
out.”
Harry
sighed and pulled on Draco’s wrist until he slowed to a stop. Draco continued
to tug ahead for a few seconds, like a dog impatiently pulling against the
leash, and then turned around and lowered his head. His face was so hostile
that Harry had to wonder how much stress he’d been living with in the
almost-a-week since the battle.
“I love
that you worry about me,” Harry whispered. He lifted both hands and drew his
fingers slowly through Draco’s hair, pressing against his temples, caressing
the skin. Draco sighed, and his eyelashes fluttered, and his head dropped.
Harry leaned in and kissed his cheek gently. “I appreciate it. I only wish that
it didn’t hurt you so.”
Draco took
a few gentle breaths and then opened his eyes. “I’m all right,” he said, his
voice more normal.
“I don’t
think you are, though,” Harry told him quietly. “There’s no reason for Portillo
Lopez and her group to turn against me.”
“There’s no
reason for them to protect you, either,” Draco said harshly. He stepped back
from Harry—Harry bit his lip to see that his attempted comfort had so small an
effect on Draco—and drove his fist into the wall. “If we had a hold on them of
some kind,” Draco said, half-ranting, “if we could blackmail them, or if you’d
put a spell on them that would let you kill them from a distance, that’s one
thing. But you can’t trust people you don’t have in your power.”
Harry stood
still for a moment. He knew that Draco hadn’t meant his last words to hurt
Harry, and since Harry had done plenty of things to hurt Draco in the past, he
could live with the immediate sting and grow past it. He could.
Then he
said, “I do have a sort of power over them. I could reveal the existence of
their order, and my proof—Pensieve memories—would be of the same sort they
would have to use if they wanted to prove that I practiced necromancy. Portillo
Lopez and I have a truce, though. She won’t reveal me if I don’t reveal her.”
Draco shook
his head. His face was pale again, except for the streaks of brilliant pink in
his cheeks. Harry wondered how long it had been since he’d seen Draco without
them. He couldn’t remember, actually. “It has to be more than that. She might
decide that her principles outweigh
her terror of being exposed. I told you, you can’t trust anyone unless you know
that they’re terrified of you.”
“Does that
include me?” Harry asked softly.
Draco
jerked a little, as though Harry’s words had awakened him from a dream, and
stared at him, blinking. “What are you talking about?”
“Do you
have to have some sort of hold over me before you can trust me?” Harry asked.
He leaned forwards and braced himself with his hands on Draco’s shoulders—or
perhaps he was trying to restrain Draco. He really didn’t know. “Would you
trust me at all if you didn’t know secrets about me that you could expose, if
you wanted, to put me at a disadvantage?”
Draco shook
his head as though Harry had asked him a question that made no sense. “It’s
different,” he said. “I was talking about enemies. Of course I want power over
people with the means to hurt me.”
“But you said anyone,” Harry murmured. “And I
have more power to hurt you than anyone else. You made that clear when you
found me practicing that magic in the first place.”
Draco shook
his head again. “You’re confusing things,” he said. “You’re distracting me from
my real point, which I was making, and which you should listen to.”
Harry said
nothing, but waited. Draco was more than intelligent enough to figure out what
Harry was driving at. In fact, he probably already had, but he didn’t want to
admit it.
Harry just
hoped that his answers would be of the kind that Harry could hear, and live
with.
*
He knows that I didn’t mean him. Or friends
in general, though I don’t have any friends like he has Weasley and Granger. A
pulse of jealousy traveled through Draco when he thought that. He has to know that I didn’t mean anything like that. He’s just decided to
take it more literally than I meant it and to cause trouble.
“I trust
you,” Draco said. He spoke the words with barely a puff of breath between his
lips, but he didn’t think Harry needed more. Anyway, the lines of tension were
already easing from his face, although he didn’t smile. “I think I’ve proved
that enough, given what you did on the battlefield, and the fact that I
accepted you back into my rooms afterwards.”
“Maybe,”
Harry said. “And I don’t want to keep testing your trust. But I have to
wonder—if you want power over anybody and everybody, do you ever completely
trust them? Because the more you do, the more you hand them power over you,
too. And I don’t know how deep your dislike of possibly being betrayed or
controlled runs.” His hands smoothed along Draco’s arms, down from his
shoulders.
Draco drew
a deep breath. He could still remember the sharp, terrified look on Harry’s
face when Draco had walked into the necromantic ritual. He could still remember
the way the betrayal had struck him like a blade in the back.
But he
hadn’t considered that at all when he was talking about Portillo Lopez and her
group. He had simply assumed that Harry would know what he meant and agree with
him, without further explanation.
“I like
power,” Draco said at last, and he resented the way his words stumbled. This
was a truth he had long since accepted about himself. It ought not to be so
hard to explain it to someone else. “I panic when I can’t defend myself. I hate
it when someone else has to rescue me. But you knew that,” he added, realizing
that Harry’s eyes hadn’t widened in surprise or anything like it.
Harry
tilted his head to the side and bit his lip thoughtfully. “Yes, I did. I had
assumed that you made an exception for me and other people you trusted, but
then I wondered if you trusted anyone else, and then I remembered what I had
done to make you distrust me, and…” He sighed and inexplicably leaned in to
kiss Draco’s cheek. Draco had thought they were arguing. “I hate to think of
you being lonely,” Harry whispered into his ear.
Draco
jerked his head back in spite of the sweetness the kiss had sent pouring
through him. “What are you nattering about, idiot? This is about weakness and
strength, not about solitude.”
“If you
can’t trust anyone,” Harry said softly, “or if you don’t dare let anyone close
to you because of lack of trust, then you’re standing in a circle of
loneliness. And I think you deserve better than that.” His eyes were completely
and utterly sincere.
Draco
stared at the floor. He hadn’t thought about it that way, mostly because the
occasional thoughts that occurred to him about it got pushed away. He couldn’t
afford to stand around sniffling about how he was lonely. He had to find ways to defend himself, and for a while he
had thought he would have to find them alone.
That Harry
was offering this, and that even in the middle of a fight about whether or not
Draco trusted him he had been concerned first for how Draco suffered from the
effects of his own paranoia—
Draco
didn’t know what to do with the emotions boiling in him, which felt like anger
but were too soft-edged for it. Anything he spoke would probably spoil the
mood, and he didn’t want to watch Harry back away from him with a carefully
shut face again.
So he
translated it into action, leaning forwards, roughly grabbing the back of
Harry’s neck, and slamming his mouth viciously home.
Harry
gasped at first, but then returned the kiss with more than interest, his
fingers sinking into Draco’s arms as if he could use them like manacles to keep
and hold. Draco twisted nearer, winding his free arm around Harry’s shoulders,
pulling so hard that he almost didn’t care if he hurt Harry.
Well, he did care, but he had to show what he was
feeling more, and this was the only acceptable way to do it.
Harry
murmured incoherently against his mouth, bit and licked at his lips, and then
met him tongue to tongue. Draco had never had a kiss that was so like a battle.
Of course, he didn’t think he had ever kissed someone as ferocious and
committed as he was, either.
He thrust
his hips into Harry’s and bit the inside of his cheek. Harry hissed and tore
his head away to gasp in air.
“We
shouldn’t do this where anyone might see,” he hissed, even as his hands dug
into Draco’s skin and he felt as if
he would be more than willing to continue.
Draco
chuckled, finding it strange that Harry was
speaking in the voice of reason for once, and held back a bit of his intense
desire. He nodded and began to pull Harry in the direction of their rooms once
again, doing his best to think of something other than how Harry’s muscles
flexed under his touch and how he gasped and smelled.
When they
were inside the room, Draco shut the door firmly, cast a spell that should
prevent any intentional voyeurs from hearing what was going on, and then
fastened his mouth back in place.
Harry
returned as eagerly as he received, his hands holding Draco’s hips and the back
of his head this time, his tongue leading the way for nipping little bites.
When Draco was dazed and breathing hard, his throat bobbing with the effort to
control himself, Harry dropped to his knees.
Draco
stared down at him. He hadn’t imagined something like this happening—which was
idiotic, since he ought to have been
imagining all sorts of things like this when he and Harry were sleeping
chastely beside each other in the bed. But he had assumed, without thinking
about it, that more months would pass before they had sex again, and that he would decide when they did so.
Harry
paused, looked up into Draco’s eyes, and shook his head as if surfacing from a
long sojourn underwater. “Is this all right?” he whispered, his hands sliding
up to Draco’s hips. “Can I do this?”
Draco
swallowed. He still felt a surge of uncertainty, but the power went deeper than
that, welling up from so far beneath him that he felt as if he were a cork
tossed about on an ocean. Harry might be the one who had chosen to move things
along, but Draco was the one who would get to choose how far he actually went.
“It’s more
than fine,” he said, and splayed his legs and started to tug at his trousers,
so Harry wouldn’t get the idea that he was a passive victim in all this.
Harry
smiled and leaned in to press a kiss to Draco’s erection through his trousers.
Draco started and shivered, and nearly embarrassed himself right there. But he
held back, and by the time that he thought to look down again, his trousers and
pants were gone and Harry was lipping hesitantly at the head of his cock.
Draco
wanted to shut his eyes and tilt his head back until it brushed against the
wall, but that might seem weak. Besides, it would take away from a sight he
wanted very much to see: Harry’s mouth opening to take him in, while his eyes fluttered shut and he gave
quiet moans. So Draco struggled, and won, and watched Harry suck him.
It felt
incredible. The brushes of intense warmth and wetness were tentative, as though
Harry still wasn’t sure of the best way to use his tongue. Well, he hadn’t
sucked Draco a lot before he had
started practicing necromancy and they had lost this, Draco thought forgivingly
as his hips flexed. And he didn’t need to be some expert. What he could do was
more than good enough.
What he
could do was what Draco needed.
“I do trust you,” Draco whispered to him,
when the pleasure began to spin him about and his control over his tongue
loosened. “I promise. I trust you more than you know. There’s no one else I
would let do this—oh, like that—”
Harry spun
his tongue and then stroked it along the vein under Draco’s cock as if to say
that he was delighted to hear it.
“So
wonderful,” Draco said. “Hard as you are sometimes, and stubborn, and bloody dangerous, there’s no one else—there
couldn’t be anyone else—” He latched his fingers in Harry’s hair and tugged as
the pleasure came charging at him like sunlight. “Never anyone else—”
He fell headlong into bliss, and he cried
out weakly, his hips pumping forwards and his fingers digging deep. Harry made
a gagging noise, then swallowed, and Draco slumped against him, thinking
absently that it was Harry’s mouth more than the wall that kept him upright.
Harry stood
up, wiping at his mouth and staring at Draco, and then seized Draco’s hand and
wrapped it around himself. Draco shuddered and tried to help, but he really was
feeling weak, as though his legs had done more work to make him orgasm than
they really had. So Harry wanked himself with Draco’s fingers more than Draco
brought him off.
It didn’t
matter. Draco still got to watch the way a flush worked along Harry’s throat,
and his head fell back, and his hips thrust, and he moaned loud and long and
then louder and longer when he splattered into the palm of Draco’s hand.
Draco shut
his eyes when Harry’s spasms had passed, utterly content. Harry laughed and
kissed him.
“You should
see the look on your face,” he murmured.
“I suspect
it’s nowhere near as good as the look on yours,” Draco murmured back, and
leaned against Harry. He could feel the wetness squishing on Harry’s hand and
his shirt. It didn’t matter. He was more content than he had been for days.
Harry had managed to relieve his fears with his words even more than his
actions.
“Are we all
right?” Harry asked into Draco’s ear, blowing gently along his shoulder while
Draco shivered.
Draco
nodded. “We are.”
*
“I’m sorry,
Harry.” Hermione gave him an apologetic smile and paused with her finger in one
of the books that were piled in front of her. Harry had found her in a corner
of the library with books sprawled on her lap, her notes, a second chair next
to her, and the floor. “I’ve looked everywhere I could think of for information
about necromancy in other languages. None of the books references
Parseltongue.”
Harry
scowled. He had been sure that Hermione, who thought all the answers could be found in books, would search until she
found something. If Parseltongue could be used to command illusions to turn
into a giant snake, Hermione would say, that meant someone had done it before,
and that meant someone had written
about it. Harry hadn’t realized how much he’d been counting on the reassurance
of nice, sane information until the reassurance was gone. “You’re sure?”
Hermione
nodded, giving him a soft look. “Why don’t you go back to bed? It’s Sunday.”
Harry gave
a pointed look at the pile of books that surrounded her.
Hermione
might have flushed the tiniest bit. “I’m different,” she said, and then placed
her nose back in the tome in front of her, resolutely ignoring him. Harry
thought the tome looked like some sort of history book.
Harry
sighed and left her there, going back to their rooms with a scowl on his face.
The Parseltongue necromancy might have spared his life when he was speaking
about it to Portillo Lopez and her friends, but it was strange enough—and so
was the dark shimmer at the back of his head—that he wanted answers.
The dark
shimmer stayed, even though it had now been more than a week since they fought
Nihil. Harry sometimes caught glimpses of floating figures out of the corner of
his eye, too, although they always disappeared when he turned his head. He’d
questioned Hermione and Ron as subtly as he could to find out if they saw them,
too, and had got blank looks and shaking heads for his trouble.
Harry had
told Draco about the visions; he was done having secrets from him. Draco had
seemed to think it was connected to the vision of Nihil that Harry had already
seen in the mirror, but he didn’t know how or why, either.
The figures
often were misty and grey, clad in cowls, which made Harry worry that he was
seeing Death Eaters at first. But the one face he’d caught a glimpse of was a
terrified young girl’s, her lips parted and her eyes so wide that she looked
ready to faint. Of course that had made him turn around faster, wanting to
help, and of course that had meant she faded all the faster.
I just want some bloody answers, Harry
thought as he stomped down the corridor that led to the door of his and Draco’s
rooms. You’d think it wouldn’t be all
that hard to get them, for once in my life. But no, even without Dumbledore
around to conceal the secrets, strange things just keep happening to me.
Another
flicker of movement showed in the corner of his eye. Harry whirled sharply
towards it, wondering if he could take the floating figures off-guard if he
just moved fast enough.
But it
wasn’t a ghost, or whatever those figures really were. Instead, Roger Aran, the
Spell Lexicon instructor, stood there, a bright scowl on his face. Harry
gulped, wondering if he’d missed a lesson with him. Aran hadn’t really mentored
him and Draco as such, just given them extra work and lectured at them, but he
would still get angry if they missed an appointment.
“Listen,”
Aran said. “I did not want to do this.”
“Sir?”
Harry asked tentatively. The first thing he could think of was that Portillo
Lopez had told the other instructors about his necromancy after all and sent
Aran to find and arrest him. He was sure, now, that he hadn’t had an
appointment to meet Aran for a lesson today.
“I never
asked for this role,” Aran said. “The others would be angry if they knew.” Then
he paused and shook his head as though conducting a silent argument with himself.
“Of course, the whole point is that
they don’t know.”
Harry put
one hand on his wand, hoping it was unobtrusive. Aran might be dangerous; at
the very least, he sounded a little unbalanced. “Sir?” he asked again, thinking
that was his best bet right now.
Aran’s wand
moved so smoothly and swiftly that Harry was still gaping at it when he heard
the sound of the incantation. “Abdo donum
aquilum,” Aran murmured.
Harry’s
world vanished into a vortex of pain.
*
polka dot: Portillo
Lopez’s order is definitely scared of Nihil, but they might respect Harry as
much.
Thrnbrooke:
Thanks!
Dragons
Breath: Draco has decided to try and be a bit more mature about secret-keeping
now, as long as Harry tries to be honest.
Ventus is
going to be important to a few of the minor story arcs coming up.
SP777:
Well, Lucius was spying on Draco, of course. What else?
Harry was
never going to walk away unchanged by the necromancy, but the change might have
been less dramatic if he hadn’t been forced to use it again.
I doubt a
secret order of necromancers could exist around Portillo Lopez and her merry
little band.
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