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Welkin in the Wizarding World (COMPLETED)	By : welkin_cooper Category: HP Canon Characters paired with Original Characters > Het - Male/Female Views: 14600 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 2
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any of the characters in it. I don't benefit financially from the production or display of this work of fanfiction in any way.

Chapter List
- 31
- 32
- 33
Chapter 32 - Welkin and the Pink Pirahna

The missing journal resurfaces. Welkin bluntly airs her dislike of Dolores Umbridge. Snape is appalled and embarrassed by an unanticipated development in their love life.

"Here it is!" Welkin held up her grandmother’s journal to show Snape. "It was in the diaper bag all along, I guess. Funny though - I could have sworn that I put it in the other side pocket."

Snape frowned, not as willing to attribute it to a simple mistake on Welkin’s part. What if someone had taken the journal from the bag, and then returned it to the wrong pocket without realizing it. Who would have had the opportunity?

He automatically discounted Luna and Minerva as suspects. Even if they had found the journal, Snape was certain that neither of them would have disturbed it. That only left the new nanny, who had sworn to Welkin that she had not known about any such book, before it mysteriously reappeared today.

The agency in Hogsmeade had said Hortense Huffington’s papers were all in order, but papers could be forged. Snape determined that he would personally investigate the woman. He would not have an unreliable and deceitful person attending to his son, and rifling through Welkin’s personal property.

"Happy New Year, Albus," Welkin greeted him, as she, Sully, and Severus joined him at his table in the Great Hall. Because most of the students were not expected back at Hogwarts until tomorrow, Albus had dispensed with sitting at the head table in favor of a table in the student section.

"It would have been happier if Dolores Umbridge hadn’t returned from holiday a day early," Dumbledore replied.

"I can’t stand that woman!" Welkin took the opportunity to complain about her again. "She does terrible things to the students in detention! Somebody should kick that woman’s ass!"

"I quite agree," Albus said. "But she has powerful connections at the Ministry, so her ass, as well as the rest of her, must remain unmolested for the moment."

"Her Defense Against the Dark Arts classes are a joke," Welkin continued. " The kids say they aren’t learning a thing in there that they couldn’t learn out of a book, and the things they do learn from the books, she won’t let them practice. That’s why so many of them come out to watch you and me practice dueling now. They’re not getting it in her class. Severus would make a better teacher in that class wandless than she does with a wand!"

"Ahem, ahem…" Albus closed his eyes wearily at the sound of Dolores Umbridge faking her little cough to get his attention.

Speak of the putrid pink devil and she doth appear, Welkin thought with annoyance, staring at the squat little woman smiling at them like a benign little polyp, when everyone knew she was really a malignant tumor that needed to be excised from Hogwarts.

"Good morning, Albus…Severus…" Umbridge gave Snape’s given name a slightly more lilting inflection, and then gave Welkin a strained smile, but didn’t verbally acknowledge her. "I’m sure you won’t mind if I join you at your table." She seated herself before anyone could protest. "My, isn’t this cozy?" she remarked in her little girl voice, punctuated by an annoying little giggle.

"I think I just lost my appetite," Welkin whispered to Snape, just loud enough to make sure Umbridge heard her.

There was a flash of anger in Umbridge’s eyes before she reined it in. "Oh, I see you have your baby with you," she continued in her syrupy way. "Awfully…quiet, isn’t he? Well, I wouldn’t worry about that. It doesn’t always mean that there’s anything the matter. And even if there was, Albus is very liberal about those things. There will always be a place at Hogwarts for even the least talented magical child."

"Why, you sadistic…revolting little…pink troll," Welkin said slowly and venomously. "Hold Sully," she said as she quickly passed him to Severus. "I’m going to kick this demented little sociopath’s ass myself." She was out of her seat and reaching for her wand when Albus called her down, putting a hand on her arm to stop her.

"I cannot allow this, Welkin. Do not draw that wand. Much as I might sympathize with the reason you are incensed, I simply cannot allow it. Please respect my wishes and reseat yourself."

"Please, Welkin," Snape agreed. "Her opinion of our child is of no importance. No importance at all," he emphasized, with a dismissive look at Umbridge. "Do not let it disturb you. Please sit down as the headmaster wishes."

Dolores smiled her fake smile. "Oh, I really didn’t mean to offend you. I’m sure your child will be very talented, despite his Muggle heritage." She gave Welkin a look of sympathy.

"Albus, I'm afraid that we will not be taking breakfast with you this morning," Welkin told him through gritted teeth. She retrieved Sully from Snape. "You are coming with us, aren’t you, Severus?" she asked tersely.

"I will be delighted," he answered, ignoring Umbridge completely.

Umbridge watched them stalk off, then turned to Dumbledore with that smile that made Albus grit his own teeth.

"Well, as I said - isn’t this cozy?" Dolores gave that maddening high-pitched titter of hers again, as Albus pictured placing his hands about her throat and throttling her into silence.

"I swear, I just wanted to knock that simpering smirk right off her ugly toadish face! I don’t see how you can be so calm about it. She sat there and insulted Sully right to our faces, the cunt!"

Welkin obviously felt strongly about this, since the only other woman who Severus had ever heard her call a cunt was Huldra Helliwell. She reserved the insult for only the most egregious cases of her loathing.

"Sullivan is the injured party, and he does not appear to be concerned," he pointed out. Snape sat with his arm around Welkin, as Sully calmly nursed at her breast. "It has not harmed his appetite at all, and neither should it harm yours. Have another grape, my sweet." Snape popped another sweet red grape into her mouth, as much to stop Welkin’s ranting, as to provide her with some source of nourishment, since they had both missed breakfast.

Welkin chewed and swallowed, still frowning. "What’s wrong with those people at the Ministry anyway? Making her Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher at Hogwarts was insane. Can’t they see what kind of a person she is? That little troll hates children - probably because they’re all taller than she is! Fucking pink piranha! If she had any children of her own, she’d probably eat them!"

"Umbridge has power and connections within the Ministry, and you and I, and the members of the Order of the Phoenix, cannot afford to interfere with her openly. Do you understand that, Welkin?

"But, I thought the Order of the Phoenix opposed Voldemort? What does the Ministry, or Umbridge, have to do with Voldemort?"

"We believe the Ministry has been infiltrated with agents of Voldemort. Umbridge is believed to be one of those."

"That little troll? An agent of the Dark Lord, Voldemort? I’d laugh if it wasn’t so horrifying," Welkin said.

"Do not laugh. She is a very dangerous woman, despite her appearances. I do not wish you to goad her in any way. Do you understand, Welkin?" Snape asked her again.

"Yes. I do understand now. I won’t do anything overt against her. God! How have you done this so long? And kept it all to yourself? My poor Severus," she said, looking at him sorrowfully.

"It is of no consequence," he said quietly.

"Oh, yes it is," Welkin disagreed, stroking his cheek. "It’s of great consequence to me. A very great consequence." She tried to smile at him. "I want to help you, anyway that I can. I guess I could…maybe…apologize to her, if you think that would help. I don’t want her angry with you and jeopardizing your mission, just because I couldn’t hold my temper."

"Could you do that?"

"Yeah. I could for you."

"Then do so, but then give her a wide berth. Do not bring yourself to her attention in any way. If she were to discover your own secret, it would not be well for us."

"Oh, I’ll give her a wide berth, alright. She’s already got a pretty wide berth, if you ask me. Have you seen the size of that woman’s ass? Putting pink on an ass like that is tantamount to slapping a big ole 'Wide Load' sign on it."

"I would prefer not to contemplate Dolores Umbridge’s posterior, or any other portion of her anatomy," Snape told her.

"Well, I think she might have contemplated yours. There was a rumor going around last November that Umbridge had a thing for you," Welkin informed him.

Snape grimaced painfully. "That is not amusing, Welkin."

"I know it isn’t," Welkin agreed. "I mean…she’s probably in her office right now, picturing you naked. God only knows what she’s doing to herself!"

"Are you deliberately attempting to upset me?"

"No. Of course not." Welkin sat silently for a minute, accepting more grapes from Severus as he solicitously fed her. "I just wonder," she finally said.

"Wonder what, my sweet?"

"I just wonder what kind of troll sex she pictures having with you."

"Wells, that is enough. I do not wish to hear anything more about this topic. It is too disturbing."

"I bet she wants to get you naked on all fours, and ride you like a pony!"

"Welkin! Do not tease me about this. I will not listen!" Snape got up and retreated to his desk. He sat there sulking as Welkin tried to apologize.

"Sevvy, I’m sorry. It was just a joke, sweetie. Come on back over here. I promise I’ll behave. I won’t say another word about the nasty little troll."

Severus opened a book and pretended to read.

Judging that Sully was finished anyway, and wanting to make up with Severus for her thoughtless teasing, which had upset him more than she had realized, Welkin removed Sully from her breast, lifted him to her shoulder and patted him until he gave a little burp. She tucked him into his cradle and started the butterflies for him, then padded on bare feet over to Snape, where he sat studiously ignoring her.

"How long are you going to be mad at me?" she asked, making her voice lower and more seductive as she stood behind him. She placed her hands on his shoulders and began to knead and massage them to relax him. "I really am sorry, you know. I didn’t know it would upset you that much. I was just trying to be funny, Sevvy. Please forgive me."

He said nothing, but made no attempt to move away from her either.

"I’m just a great big ole dunderhead to upset you after you were so sweet to me. I wouldn’t blame you if you never wanted to have sex with me again." She paused to let that idea sink in.

"I do not believe that your infraction was quite so serious as that," Snape finally said. He knew what she was doing, manipulating him shamelessly using his desire for her, but he really didn’t care, as long as the end result of her game was sex.

Welkin leaned over him, her mouth against his right ear, and let her hands move over his chest in circular motions. "Do you really forgive me, Sevvy?" She nipped his earlobe with her teeth lightly, then sucked on it with her mouth. Snape dropped his book and groaned. She rubbed the palms of her hands over the front of his jacket again and tongued his ear, whispering her question insistently into it. "Do you forgive me, Sevvy?"

"Yeees," he finally replied, and groaned again. He flung out his arm to send the few objects that were on his desk crashing to the floor, then jerked her in front of him and kissed her, forcing her down onto the smooth, dark wood surface of the desk. He pushed her sweater up and unzipped her jeans, working them down to her ankles as he continued kissing her. Welkin assisted him by drawing her sweater over her head and tossing it aside, as he pulled her jeans the rest of the way off. He reached around and unhooked her bra. She assisted him again by pulling down the straps and letting it fall away.

Welkin cupped her breasts and caressed them as Severus watched, his eyes straying to her pussy, exposed by the red crotchless panties he’d bought for her. Slowly he unzipped himself and pulled out his partially erect cock. Welkin licked her lips in excited anticipation, and allowed him to turn her gently until she was hanging off the edge of the desk. She opened her mouth wide, and he lowered his dangling cock into it. She slowly began to suck and nibble on it as he replaced her hands with his, caressing her breasts and teasing her nipples to a firmer state of erection.

Reaching out her hands, Welkin grasped the top of his trousers and worked them down. The snaps at the top of his boxers made simple work of lowering those as well. Sensing what she wanted, he removed his cock from her mouth and held it against his stomach as she began to nibble and suck on his balls. The pleasure was almost unendurable. He closed his eyes, and nearly shot his load on the spot. But no - sensing that he was about to come - Welkin stopped and slowly sat up. She slid off the desk and turned to kiss him, continuing her sweet assault on his mouth, letting his excitement cool just a bit. When he regained control of himself, she turned away and slowly lowered herself until she was leaning across the desk, her legs spread apart.

"Do it to me, sweet and slow," she requested. Welkin held her breath, waiting with anticipation until she felt the first tentative touch of his cock against her and then, she suddenly felt…nothing.

"Don’t tease me, Sevvy," she said. "I know I deserve it for teasing you about Umbridge, but please don’t." When Snape remained silent, she was puzzled. "Sevvy?"

"Wells," he finally said, sounding upset.

"Sevvy, is something wrong?" She straightened up and turned to face him. There was a look of shocked surprise on his face as he looked at her, and then slowly back down at himself.

Welkin followed Snape’s eyes down to his crotch, and gave an involuntary gasp. "Sevvy!" she said, looking as shocked as he did.

Severus Snape, the love of her life, easily the horniest wizard in the Wizarding World - the man who never failed to please her, any time of the day or night - was limp as a dishrag.
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Welkin in the Wizarding World (COMPLETED)

Chapter 32 - Welkin and the Pink Pirahna