Adult-FanFiction.org : Harry Potter

Torment Completed	By : Kvarta Category: Harry Potter > Het - Male/Female > Snape/Hermione Views: 31713 -:- Recommendations : 3 -:- Currently Reading : 8
Disclaimer: This is a work of fan fiction. Harry Potter is owned by J.K. Rowling. This story is purely for entertainment purposes, no money is being made from it.

Chapter List
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A/N: I will address all your comments in separate Author’s note chapter a bit later today, thank you for giving me your insight at the story :)
Schooling his breathing to mimic sleep he lied awake. He hates his situation. The feeling of light tremors still shaking his limbs, he is on the verge of crying. In fact, he would cry if he wasn't stuck in the same room with her. Why did they keep him alive? What good is he alive anyway if he can’t even brew anymore. It is questionable how long before he is completely useless. The damage he suffered over years, concentrated and somehow magnified now. Maybe it is one of the consequences of the bite.
And he survived…again! How many times…how many wars he has to go through to die? And why are people always dead set on keeping him alive? Dumbledore chained him with his promise, with an oath to fulfil his duty. Hermione…well he could see where she was coming from. After all, he knew all too well the demons she was fighting. He battled them for years. And he expected more understanding from her, especially from her. But it appears that they were coming from vastly different places. While all he wanted is to die, to stop living through the eternal torment of life without Lily. Hermione seemed to be a determined to live, and not just to live but to save anything and anyone on her path.
Well. He was fine with that, as long as he is not anywhere near her path.
But if he juts her just the right way, if he forces her to release him and turn her back on him…then he could fade away as he planned. Salazar, he has to find the way to force her out of his head. Maybe he should just ask her to show him her notes. From what Lucius told him, she combined two completely different types of mind magic, ones that are not to be mixed up, ever.
He resists the need to move or stir, the last thing he needs is that blasted alarm to sound off again. His magic is still out of the grasp of his control, and he is trying his best not to lash out, not really certain how his magic would react. It wouldn’t boot well if he flattens this part of the Manor. Though, that would solve his problem, efficiently.
He frowns, slowly clenching and unclenching his fists. He is still weak as a kitten, and his legs are still good as useless. He needs proper exercise if he wants to regain the capacity to move. There is no apparent damage. He has the feeling in his back and in his legs. If nothing, he is more sensitive than he was before. He can still feel her weight, pressing on his thighs with force, the heat of her leg across his. The spots her arms and hands touched still burn. Is that some kind of allergic reaction to her?
The narrow view of her almost nude body, that was offered through the neckline of her shirt, danced briefly in front of his eyes. No, that’s not it! He…he was not interested in women or men for the longest of times. Two decades! But then again, he thought that he was impotent for two decades, so this is also a moot point.
He has to regain his strength, he has to get his walls up again, he has to get the grip of himself. This loss of control was…troublesome. And if Lucius even get’s the whiff of his reanimated…virility…he is in trouble indeed. Lucius will drag him to the clubs again, Narcissa will start hunting for the suitable wife again. Sometimes he wondered if they were his friends at all. But, beggars can’t be choosers, and they were the only friends, the only family he had.
The dawn was starting to colour the sky when he finally fell asleep.
He’s sitting at the High Table, so many years and he still hates that table. He feels exposed. Quirrell is next to him, yapping his ear off with his stuttering, annoying him endlessly. The first years coming in lead by Minerva and he hopes with all his might that Draco will know better than to show his affections. The parents were lenient, but he spoiled the child. Well, at least he’ll have one student that will not try to kill him.
Over the years he developed a paranoid and somewhat delusional notion that students were out there to get him. To part him from his life or at least his limbs. Between those who were incapable of boiling water little less brewing a potion and those brilliant but dangerous, like Weasley twins…he truly and honestly started to believe that students are there to get him. And even if he still harboured the idea of dying, death by exploding cauldron was not on his agenda.
He knows that Potter is among the beginners but he refuses to look for him, Merlin knows that Albus went to extremes to describe the boy to him. He wonders why is he putting up with Old Goat? The old man is annoying and calculated as ever, even more so now.
They call the name and he looks at the boy. Sharp pain cuts him. A dagger twisted in his guts. Quirrell still stutters in his ear, but he does not hear him. Her eyes, her beautiful eyes on James's face. The dagger in his guts twists again. He dislikes the kid instantly. He will keep the kid alive, it is the sole reason he is still alive after all, but to feel any kind of affection towards the boy…Albus kept talking about part of the kid's mother, part of Lily living in the kid. But all he sees is her betrayal, her cold demeanour towards him, all the hurt she caused. And the biggest, most painful blow, her eyes on the face of his enemy. His chest constricts painfully.
He wakes up again, dawn broken through the darkness. Why is he still alive? The pain, same pain from the memory still lingers in his chest. He is quiet but he feels heat burns its way from his eyes down the side of his face.
~ S ~ S ~ S ~
She sits on the sofa and turns her head to look at him. He still breathes softly, sleeping. She does not understand, how he could live. No wonder he hated Harry so much. It is a wonder that he saved Harry’s life so many times. She is not sure if she would be able to if she were in his spot.
His head turns slightly towards the window. She slides from the sofa and approaches the bed. He is still sleeping. She sits on the bed next to him and gently wipes his tears.
“Oh, professor. I know, somehow I do understand you. I don’t know how you could survive through all of that,…but now you have a chance. A real chance to live. To love some lucky witch who will love you back. I just need to keep you alive long enough for you to figure it out on your own. You are powerful and smart, you are a hero. There is nothing but happiness in front of you now. can’t you see that?” she keeps her voice soft, under the breath, not to wake him up “You made a mistake but you did everything right. You kept Harry, us alive. you fought for every life that you could spare. You didn’t back down, gave up, you didn’t turn your back on anyone. Not like me.” She directs her eyes through the window into the distance “There was the moment in the battle when I just gave up. When I stopped fighting for the others. Stopped caring for the others and just…just fought to survive. I was ready to hide rather than die, just to stay alive. What would people think when they would know that?”
She stifles a sob and pulls back, slides to the floor and back to her sofa. Biting her lip to prevent crying out loud. She is a fraud. In the end, for her, only her own life mattered. Her crime is…so much bigger than he could ever be. He was selfless one and she was petty, thinking only of herself. She turned her back on him, left him there dead – but not dead. She betrayed everything she believed in, it made her question if her beliefs were what she really is, or were they just elaborate lie. Deceit to her and to the others. So, she has to keep him alive, even being here, in the Manor, surrounded with hatred and disdain, it is her punishment. Atonement for her silent crime. If she lets him die, she would commit another crime, by allowing one true and good soul to perish.
~ S ~ S ~ S ~
He hears her getting up and closes his eyes, his breath is still even, maybe she didn’t notice that he’s awake. She sits on the bed, next to him and wipes his tears. She is touching him again! Suppressing the need to wince from her touch he hopes that she will just walk away. It is humiliating enough, even if he were alone, but to have a witness and that witness to be her…it is beyond mortifying.
Her breath is near his face, he can fell its moist and warmth. Is she caressing his face? How dare she?! She started to talk, her voice is soft and broken, as broken as her mind is. Her mind, shivering at the corner of his brain.
“Oh, professor. I know, somehow I do understand you.”
‘You understand nothing know-it-all.’
“I don’t know how you could survive through all of that,…but now you have a chance. A real chance to live. To love some lucky witch who will love you back.”
‘Sweet Merlin, she could go hand in hand with Narcissa, they both are out to get me.’
“I just need to keep you alive long enough for you to figure it out on your own. You are powerful and smart, you are a hero. There is nothing but happiness in front of you now. can’t you see that?”
‘There is nothing in front of me you blubbering idiot. And if you stop saving yourself by saving me you could see that too. Smartest witch of her age my eye. The smartest pain in the…’
“You made a mistake but you did everything right. You kept Harry, us alive.”
‘If nothing I never went against my own word.’
“You fought for every life that you could spare.”
‘What do you know about that, little idiotic child. You don’t know left from right.’
“You didn’t back down, gave up, you didn’t turn your back on anyone. Not like me.”
‘WHAT?’
“There was the moment in the battle when I just gave up. When I stopped fighting for the others. Stopped caring for the others and just…just fought to survive. I was ready to hide rather than die, just to stay alive. What would people think when they would know that?”
‘That you did the same thing everyone else did on that field, you moron. Well, almost everyone, few of them were crazy enough to believe, sadly all on Dark Lord’s side.’
The bed bends, she is back on her sofa, sniffling quietly. Why the hell does she crying? Stupid child. Dunderheads, the bane of his life. And, yet she wasn’t one of them. Annoying, attention-hungry, swotty, prissy, but smart enough for him never to call her dunderhead to her face or privately. She was the thorn in his backside but at least smart enough never to give him a headache like the rest of her year with few exceptions. He is truly disappointed to see her turning into one of the dunderheads now.
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Torment *Completed*

Torment Completed