Adult-FanFiction.org : Harry Potter

Forever and Always	By : cls2256 Category: HP Canon Characters paired with Original Characters > Het - Male/Female Views: 6832 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 2
Disclaimer: I do not own the rights to Harry Potter or any of its characters or details, nor do I make any money from this fanfic.

Chapter List
- 31
- 32
- 33
The Daily Prophet was buzzing with articles about Harry as the Chosen One, Voldemort’s return and Cornelius Fudge’s sacking. Headlines of killings and disappearances were popping up every few days, The Order very sad to see the murder of fellow member Emmaline Vance, and head of magical law enforcement Amelia Bones. People seemed to be getting plucked off like flies, the disappearing numbers unsettling most of the wizarding world, including Susan. She was terrified John would be a target again, due to her status as an Auror and him being a muggle. These people considered muggle hunting a sport, and obtaining a muggle from a high security military base would be entertaining for some of these vicious death eaters. Rufus Scrimgeour, previous head of the Auror office and now Minister of Magic, ensured her that he was taking care of everything, no need to worry; he would do much better for the situation than Fudge did.
Sirius made many headlines also, his story coming out and his name now cleared posthumously. News of the battle at the Department of Mysteries was also a topic of gossip around town; many of the death eaters were captured and placed in Azkaban as a result. Harry wasn’t the only person riddled with grief and anger over Sirius’s death, most of the Order was taken aback by his loss. Remus was putting on a brave face for the group, while Tonks was moping around most of the time. She was having a hard time metamorphing, and even Kingsley struggled to bring a smile to her face. Mia was beside herself; nearly unable to function she was so riddled with grief.
Mia sat on the floor of her bedroom, her back pressed up against the left side of her bed, staring at the wall. Her mind was unable to settle, her thoughts had been racing since the moment she saw Sirius fall through the archway in the Department of Mysteries. Her life felt like it was separated into two periods; Before Sirius and After Sirius. Anything she did now felt like firsts; first timing showering after Sirius died, first time she wore her trainers after Sirius died, first time she drank coffee after Sirius died. Her stomach churned with anguish, feeling the urge to vomit regularly over the last month since that evening at the Department of Mysteries. Remus, Penelope and Susan were a revolving door checking in on her, their kind words and attempts at comforting her irritating. She especially hated the copious amounts of food they brought in her bedroom at meal time. Every bite slid down her throat like glass, making her stomach bubble irritably. She did try to take a few bites, but it was never enough for them.
Everything reminded her of Sirius; black dogs walking down the street, the deck of cards they used to play with that now sat on her dresser, and Remus. She saw Sirius every time she looked at him, remembering all the fun times they had together. They had been the three musketeers; Mia always admired a photograph Penelope took of them the night she snuck Sirius to their flat for a night of drunken debauchery, but now the photograph made her angry. Sirius was gone before his time, taken away from her, and memories of him were just that now; memories.
Remus reminded her so much of better times that it made her sick to look him in the eye. He was being so kind to her; so attentive and patient. His demeanor should’ve been comforting, but it only made Mia irritable and short tempered. She felt so lonely, despite his constant hovering.
She could barely speak for the first few days, leaving the job of breaking the news to Penelope on Remus’s shoulders. Penelope had sobbed with her head in his lap for almost an hour, begging him to not tell Mia how upset she had gotten.
The Order had vacated 12 Grimmauld Place temporarily, unsure of where Kreacher and the house’s loyalty lie with the enchantments placed on the estate. The Weasley’s offered up the Burrow as a temporary headquarters, for which they extended Remus an invitation to have him and Mia stay with them for the weekend, hoping that surrounding her with people that care about her would help her grieving.
“Mia, honey, may I come in?” Remus asked, knocking on her bedroom door softly.
Mia didn’t answer, her gaze remained fixed on the wall in front of her. Remus sat on the edge of the bed, and looked down at her. Her eyes were puffy, and she looked paler than typical.
“Molly invited us to spend the weekend at the Burrow; I told her yes, I thought you would enjoy a weekend away” he said softly.
“It’s a full moon tomorrow” she replied flatly.
“They have a cellar that Arthur has fashioned into a den for me” Remus chuckled. “So, you’ll come?”
Mia just shrugged at him “I guess”
“Would you like me to pack your bag for you? I can do that while you’re freshening up.”
He put one hand on her shoulder softly, but she shook him away.
“I can pack my own bag, Remus.” she spat, getting up hastily and walking to the bathroom, slamming the door shut.
Remus sighed and followed her to the bathroom door, pressing his cheek against it. He heard her start the shower, which was a good sign that she was actually getting ready to go.
“Ok, I’ll be in the living room” he called to her, but received no reply.

Upon arriving at the Burrow late that evening, Molly ushered her and Remus upstairs to the small bedroom plastered with Gryffindor quidditch banners and posters of dragons. Molly had cleaned up Charlie’s old bedroom for them to stay in. The comforter was a hand patched quilt, and there was a small dresser and mirror that sat across from bed. A small oil lamp sat on the dresser, and there was a large window on the left side of the bed that would most likely let in so much light it would wake them at sunrise.
“I know it’s not much…” Molly began
“Molly, this will do fine. Thank you for your hospitality.” Remus said warmly. “Mia, would you like me to unpack for you?”
Mia ignored him, and turned to Molly.
“uhm, where is the loo?” she asked quietly, her glum demeanor very uncharacteristic to what Molly was used to.
“Down the hall, on the right. Are you hungry? I can put some soup on if so” Molly said brightly, overcompensating for Mia’s gloomy mood.
“No, thank you” Mia mumbled, her eyes looking down at the floor.
“What was the last thing you ate?” Remus asked
“I had some crackers at 3:00” she said
“Oh dear that’s hardly enough food, I’ll make you something…” Molly began
“I’m not hungry!” Mia snapped
Molly jumped slightly and looked taken aback. Remus shook his head at Molly, giving her an apologetic look.
“Alright, well, let me know if you change your mind.” She mustered up a weak smile and exited the room.
Mia grabbed her toothbrush and pajamas hastily to head off to the bathroom, but was stopped by Remus’s hand gripping her shoulder.
“Please be nice to Molly, she is only trying to help” he said firmly.
She turned and glared at him, ripping her shoulder from his grip and storming out of the bedroom. He exhaled an irritated sigh. He knew she was upset at losing Sirius, but his increasing aggression coming from the looming cycle was making it hard to remain understanding. She was starting to get under his skin with her outbursts, making it harder for him to remain calm. He was grieving over Sirius himself, but felt unable to show it, feeling as though he needed to put on a brave face.
The members of the Order were sitting around the dining room table at the Burrow the next morning, consuming the wonderful breakfast spread Molly had made. The table was filled with muffins, toast and breakfast pastries, while the kitchen stove had pans of bacon, eggs and hash browns. The hearty smell of the various foods wafted through the kitchen, smelling like the Hogwarts’ kitchens minutes before a feast. The Weasleys were hoping that a community meal would help make everyone feel more ‘normal’ after suffering a loss of one of their own.
Mia sat at the very edge of the table, sipping a cup of coffee quietly. Tonks sat directly to her left, next to Kingsley; the two of them trying to decipher which muffins were which in the basket. Susan sat on the other side of them, and was in a deep conversation with Arthur, sitting across from her, about muggle medicine.
“So, they cut you open, and then remove it??” Arthur asked her, fascinated by the idea of appendix surgery.
Remus walked over to the table with two plates of food in his hand, setting one down in front of Mia and sitting across from her. He grabbed a piece of toast and added it to her plate. She looked down at the assortment of food, and her stomach flip flopped. Normally a plate of bacon, eggs and hash browns would be delicious to her, but she wanted to gag at the sight of food.
“Eat” Remus said casually, taking a bite out of a banana nut muffin.
“I’m not hungry” she said quietly.
Remus looked up at her, watching her fidget with her coffee cup. Her eyes were red and puffy from crying the night before, and her face was starting to look sunken in from a month of only eating the bare minimum.
“Just start by taking a bite” he said, looking back down at his plate and gathering some egg on his fork.
Mia took a small bite of her hash brown, taking a moment to chew. The bite went down her throat like glass, making her turn her nose up and push her plate slightly away from her.
“You need to eat.” Remus said; his voice more stern than before.
“I’m not hungry” she replied.
“Mia, your face is starting to look thin; eat” he spoke a little too loudly, making the conversations of the other members stop and look at them.
“I said, I’m not hungry!” She hissed, shooting daggers out of her eyes.
Remus slammed his hands on the table, making everyone jump in her chair.
“MIA GODDAMNIT!” He shouted, his face turning purple with rage. “I’m not going to sit here at watch you starve yourself; you’re not leaving this table until that food is gone!”
The entire table was quiet, Susan’s eyes were darting back and forth between them, and Arthur was shifting uncomfortably in his seat. Mia was gripping her now empty coffee mug tightly to keep her hands from shaking, she and Remus staring at each other heatedly. The full moon was that night; she remembered seeing his potion sitting on the dresser in Charlie’s room before she came downstairs.
“Go drink your potion” She said through gritted teeth.
He stared at her for a moment, eyes burning, and then got up from the table, noisily scooching the chair back as he rose.
“I want half that plate of food gone by the time I get back.” He said sharply, turning to exit.
Mia felt her blood boiling; how dare he raise his voice when he knew what she was going through? Anger and adrenaline coursed through her as she stood up, baseball-throwing her coffee mug at him. Susan quickly shot her wand out, stopping the coffee cup in midair. Remus turned back to look at Mia, clenching and unclenching his jaw a couple times before choosing to leave the kitchen again. Mia stared at the coffee cup suspended in air as Susan walked over to it, taking it in her hand and returning it to her.
“Don’t take your anger out on him, sweetie. He doesn’t deserve it.” Susan whispered firmly. “Now eat, before you say or do something else you may regret.”

Remus walked into the bedroom, slamming the door shut and hastily grabbing his potion off the dresser. He downed it in a couple gulps, smacking his tongue against the roof of mouth in disgust at the foul taste. He sat on the bed and looked at himself in the mirror that hung on the wall across from him. His face was pale and his dark circles were more pronounced, a common side effect this close to the moon. He took a deep breath and ran his hands through his hair furiously. He wasn’t sure if he could handle this anymore. He was putting on a brave face, and bottling in his feelings. He couldn’t grieve freely because he was so concerned about taking care of everyone else. Watching Mia was the hardest part of all this, it pained him to see her unable to eat, withering away to skin and bone. A few tears escaped from his eyes as he rested his head against his fists, staring down at the wood floor. He needed to buck up, be strong like he had been, but he felt like there was no strength left in him. He wanted his friend back. He needed his friend back.
Mia choked down bites of food with tears streaming down her face. The food didn’t taste bad, the flavor was quite good actually, but her body was fighting each bite as it slid down her throat. She had gotten a good majority of it down before she started to choke and gag on a piece of egg, nearly having to run to the kitchen sink to hurl up what she had just consumed. Molly hastily came over to her and patted her back gently; look at her ¾ eaten plate.
“That should be enough for now, what do you think, Susan?” Molly asked in a kind, soft voice. “She ate at least most of it”
“Yes, it’s a start” Susan said, giving Molly a nod.
Molly swiftly removed Mia’s plate, everyone else at the table averting their eyes from her as she wiped her tears.
“I’m going to take a shower” Mia said in a whisper, and rose from the table.
She walked quietly upstairs to Charlie’s bedroom, to find the door shut. She paused when she rested her hand on the door knob, and put her ear up to the door instead. She heard a deep muffled sound coming from inside, and tried to turn the knob as quietly as possible. Remus had locked the door, the knob not budging. She listened for another moment and realized he was crying. She felt a pang of remorse as she contemplated unlocking the door with magic, but hesitated. He would’ve locked the door only for one reason; he wanted to be alone.
She turned and tip toed back downstairs, not wanting Remus to hear her, and entered the kitchen.
“Remus wants to be alone so I am going to go home” Mia said flatly, picking her fingernails.
“You want some company? I can go with you, stay for a few hours?” Tonks said, Kingsley squeezing her shoulder reassuringly.
“No, I’m fine.” Mia said, as she stepped into the other room and disapparated.
“Susan, she is a mess” Kingsley said once he knew she had gone.
“I know, I know” Susan said, her voice breaking. “She and Sirius were very close.”
“Remus isn’t taking it well, either. He’s put on such a brave face for everyone, it’s no wonder he snapped.” Arthur said.
“We’re all not taking it well.” Tonks whispered, her face falling.
Kingsley kissed her shoulder reassuringly. Molly began cleaning up the table, tears stinging her eyes that she wanted to keep hidden from the rest of the group. Everyone was silent for a few minutes. Susan shifted in her chair awkwardly before standing up and speaking again.
“I don’t mean to rush out…” she began.
“No problem, Susan. Molly is planning dinner after the meeting next week if you can stay” Arthur said, standing to walk her out.
“Thanks, Arthur. I’ll be there.” Susan said with a weak smile.
She turned and exited the kitchen before Arthur could have a chance to walk her out. She hesitated when she walked by the staircase, considering walking up to Charlie’s bedroom to check on Remus. She felt for him in this moment; he had lost his best friend, and yet was still so comforting and accommodating to Mia in her grief. She felt a surge of thankfulness that he was there to help take care of her; a feeling she never expected herself to feel. She sighed, unsure of what she would even say in this moment, and chose to exit the Burrow, disapparating on the lawn.
Mia was sitting on the couch, hair wet and in a bathrobe at her flat, watching mindless American reality television shows when Penelope came out of her bedroom to join her. They sat awkwardly on the couch for few minutes, tension in the room thick enough to cut with a butter knife.
“Where is Remus tonight?” Penelope asked, breaking the silence.
“Full moon” Mia said, her eyes still fixed on the television.
“That didn’t answer my question…”
Mia sighed and rolled her eyes. “He’s at the Weasleys still, spending the cycle in the cellar.”
“Why aren’t you there with him?” Penelope asked.
“We got into a fight because I wouldn’t eat breakfast.” She said flatly.
“Maybe you should go back, talk to him in the morning. I’m sure he’d like you to be there.” Penelope said.
Mia felt her irritation rising, but fought snapping at Penelope.
“I was rude to Molly, I don’t think I’m welcome.” She said, crossing her arms.
“I’m sure she will understand, I think you should at least try…”
“PENNY!” Mia hissed, raising her voice. “Stop”
“Ok, I’m done with this. You need to get your attitude in check. I have been more than accommodating with giving you the last month off work, but you’ve done nothing but sulk in your room, and have been a bitch to me, Remus and your mum since Sirius died. We’re trying to help you!” Penelope cried, standing up and putting her hand on her hip.
“Well, maybe if you didn’t try to force feed me when I’m not hungry, I’d be a little nicer!” Mia scowled.
“Maybe if you’d eat, we wouldn’t have to!!! You think Sirius would want to watch you starve??”
There was an awkward, tense pause between them; the only sound was the television chattering in the background.
“I miss him so much Penelope.” Mia said softly, beginning to pick her fingernails.
“I know, Mia. We all do. But we need you to get ahold of yourself.” Penelope tried to say gently, but her words came out a little more forceful than anticipated.
Mia shot her an irritated look, and stood up to head back to her bedroom. She stopped in the doorway and turned back,
“He might’ve just been a fuck buddy to you, but he was my best friend. I was his family.” She sneered, and slammed her bedroom door.
Penelope’s chin quivered as she sat down slowly on the couch. She pulled her sweatshirt sleeve up; her right hand touching the black leather band of Sirius’s watch that was fastened to her left wrist. She closed her eyes and remembered the morning he gave it to her.
“Thank you for making me feel like a man again” he had told her, the tenderness in his smile had made Penelope feel warm all the way down to her toes.
Mia didn’t know about the watch, and Penelope wasn’t sure if she now would ever tell her. It was an intimate moment between her and Sirius, and she wanted to keep it that way. She began to sob, curling up on the couch into the smallest ball she could make herself, clutching the watch and her wrist close to her heart.
Over the next few weeks, Mia increasingly got more short and irritable with everyone. Remus and Mia did not speak of the breakfast fiasco that happened at the Weasleys, their conversations limited to short questions and one word answers. She could hardly look at him, the memories he brought to the surface were too painful. She had at least returned to work, but mostly kept to herself taking inventory and stocking shelves rather than speak with customers. She had no desire to do much of anything; she had begun sleeping during the day when she would get home from work, then having her recurring nightmares wake her up in the middle of the night, leaving her to stare at the ceiling while Remus snored softly next to her. The sound of his breathing annoyed her; she resented him for treating her so nicely, irritated by how well he seemed to be doing with Sirius’s death. The scene of Sirius falling through the mysterious archway had made it into her recurring set of nightmares, making her heart ache every time she woke from it.
Everything seemed difficult to her; just simply washing her hair seemed like a daunting task. She found it easier to ignore her responsibilities rather than tackle them head on. Her Auror application sat only half filled out on her dresser, too overwhelming to finish. It was easier to pretend it didn’t exist. She didn’t feel excitement when thinking about starting her career; but she didn’t feel excited about really anything anymore.
For her 21st birthday, Remus whisked Mia away to the cottage for the weekend to try to get her out of the rut of her flat. He hoped a romantic weekend away would lift her spirits, and maybe re-spark some of the fire that she used to have. He tried so hard to be understanding, but he missed her. He missed the vibrant, fierce woman he loved. He missed her laugh, her smile, and her jokes. Sirius’s death had left him with a hollow imitation of her; she looked and sounded like her, but she wasn’t the same. She wouldn’t let him hardly touch her, or hardly even look at him. The only time he could hold her is when she slept; He would snuggle up next to her, hoping he wouldn’t wake her and get shaken off. if I can just get her through this, she’ll come back to me he would tell himself, over and over, praying one day to see a spark of the old her.
He planned a magnificent birthday weekend of all her favorites; dinner and dessert the first night, then kayaking and swimming on the lake the following day. He spent hours preparing the meal and decorating the cottage with the many candles that he used when making her dinner nearly a year and a half ago that put a smile on her face. When he apparated back with her, he was disappointed to see the décor didn’t have the same effect. She hardly touched her pasta he had made for them for dinner, and didn’t even seem interested in her cheesecake. Cheesecake was her favorite, but she took a couple bites then pushed it to the side, claiming she was ‘stuffed’. Remus didn’t fight her, despite wanting to argue that 6 bites of pasta and 2 bites of cheesecake wasn’t a sufficient meal.
She went to bed early, leaving him to spend the rest of the night drinking scotch on the porch, memories of Sirius haunting him. He wished with all his might to have his friend back. He wished to have James and Lily back; even part of him wished that he could have Peter back, despite hating him more than he hated anyone. He wouldn’t hate him if James and Lily were still here. He wished Peter never betrayed the Potters, maybe if he hadn’t they could all be sitting on the porch together; laughing and drinking scotch together. He imagined Mia and Lily brewing hangover potions on one side of the porch as the four men threw back shots, Sirius smacking Peter’s back as he choked on firewhisky. This thought made him smile, but his chest tightening in anguish at the realization that he could never experience this. All his friends were dead, or traitors. He sipped his scotch and hung his head. Mia was all he had, and he was afraid he was losing her too.

“Auror application deadline was yesterday, wasn’t it?” Remus asked between bites of his sandwich the following afternoon.
“Yeah” Mia shrugged, picking her fingernails
“You got your application in, right?”
“Yeah”
Remus raised an eyebrow at her, picking up on her tone as dishonest.
“You did?”
“No” she said softly.
Remus set his sandwich down on his plate, giving her a stern look. “And why not? You’ve wanted to be an Auror for as long as I’ve known you.”
Mia just shrugged as she picked at her fingernails.
“Mia, you can’t just throw away your career because you didn’t feel like applying. Do you know how lucky you are to have the NEWT scores you do??” Remus said firmly.
Mia huffed loudly and got up from the couch and begun to pace.
“Maybe I don’t want to be an Auror” she said irritably
“Then what do you want to be?” he asked, more calmly than before.
“I don’t know” she mumbled, running her hand through her hair to brush it
Remus exhaled a heavy sigh and shook his head in disappointment. He knew this conversation was going nowhere.
“Come here, eat half my sandwich” he said, motioning for her to return to the couch.
“I’m not hungry” she said, crossing her arms
“Mia, your face is sinking in, you need to eat something!” Remus growled
“I had some toast at 11:00!” she hissed, irritated by his constant helicoptering over her eating habits.
“Three bites of toast doesn’t count.” He said flatly, setting his sandwich plate down on the coffee table in front of him.
“Ohmygod, can you just leave it?!” she yelled, stomping her feet. “You’re not my mother!”
“Maybe not, but your mother agrees with me on this. You can’t keep doing this to yourself.” He said, his voice returning to a level of calmness that drove Mia mad.
She stared at him with a burning gaze, her stomach doing flip flops. When she looked at him, the memories of the two of them and Sirius flashed through her mind. She was starting to hate to look at Remus, his face was a constant reminder that it was just the two of them in the world, and that Sirius could never laugh with them again, be with them again.
“Both of you need to just get off my case and leave me the hell alone!” she hollered, walking into the bedroom and grabbing her bag.
Remus followed her, his temper rising.
“Leave you the hell alone, huh? That’s what you want? That’s the thanks I get for taking care of you through all this?” he yelled, his face turning purple. “In case you hadn’t noticed, I lost my best friend too!”
“I never asked you to take care of me!” she hissed. “I don’t need you to!”
Mia stormed back into the living room towards the front door, Remus close on her heels.
“Oh, my mistake, I guess I won’t make sure you don’t starve yourself to death.” he sneered.
“Piss off, Remus. I’m done.” She spat, grabbing her sweatshirt off the coat rack by the front door and grasping the doorknob.
“Done? Oh, you’re done?” he asked incredulously, raising his voice. “Whatever happened to forever and always?”
Mia froze with her hand on the door knob; part of her knew she was being stupid. That part of her wanted to run back, jump into his arms and cry, but the other half was ready to storm out the door. She loved him, she knew she did, but she couldn’t look at his face anymore without being constantly reminded of Sirius. Her heart couldn’t take the reel of memories that flashed through her head every time she looked at him. Her hand shook on the door knob, her body frozen for a moment as she felt Remus’s stare on the back of her head.
“Don’t walk out that door, Mia” he said sternly.
Mia took a breath, not looking back at him. Her logical side of her brain screamed at her to turn around, hug him and beg for forgiveness, to tell him she loved him and she was sorry for how much she had pushed him away; but Mia turned the doorknob, walked out the door and disapparated on the front lawn.
- 31
- 32
- 33
You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.
Report Story

Forever and Always