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Amore et Amicitia	By : Kimmimaru Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Sirius/James Views: 6683 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any characters or settings by JK Rowling. I make no profit from this story.

Chapter List
- 33
- 34
- 35
Chapter Thirty-Four: Domum (Home)

Sirius recovered slowly, his physical wounds were healed easily by Dorea but his mental scars were much deeper and much more severe. He couldn’t stand other people touching him, he flinched violently when someone so much as brushed him. The only person he allowed to invade his personal space was James, but that was rare. They distanced themselves from each other and hardly even made eye contact any more, James put on a front of bravado, he hid his grief from everyone by laughing louder and harder. He spent more and more time outside in the orchard flying on his broom simply to try and outdistance Sirius’ pain filled eyes.

Sirius had brief episodes of the shakes, random pain would shoot through his body with the slightest provocation. Dorea told him it would pass, it was just the after effects of the Cruciatus curse and he would get better, but sometimes he would still curl on the floor and cry for no other reason than he’d dropped a mug. He apologised for everything, the tiniest things made him feel a horrendous guilt that had never affected him before, if someone raised their voice he would retreat to his room and lock himself inside. They would hear crashes and screams of fury and frustration when he was in one of his moods but James could only watch from a distance. He could only watch his friend falling to pieces, because if he tried to embrace him he would be pushed away violently.

James ended up pushing his true feelings down as far as they would go, when Sirius was in a rare good mood he’d take him outside and they would sit by the river in silence. Sirius watched the sun glitter over the water as it bubbled happily over the rocks, James eyed him warily but gave no other sign of his concern.

“Have you ever considered who you want to marry?” Sirius asked suddenly.

“Yeah...” James lay back and put both arms behind his head. “Lily Evans.” He said softly.

Sirius smiled. “She’d be a good wife, Jamie.” He picked up a stone and threw it into the water, he watched it disappear with a splash. “She would love you properly and she’d give you children...”

“That’s the idea.” James said carefully.

“You’re beautiful when you’re loved.” Sirius smiled sweetly. “You need to be loved. You deserve it.”

“So do you.”

Sirius was silent for a moment before standing up. “No, I don’t. I’m gay, James, remember? I’m an abomination...” He touched his chest lightly where the words had been etched into his skin, even weeks after they had been healed he could still feel them there, as if they had been burned into his very soul. “I will never touch another man again.” He said and walked to the little bridge that spanned the water.

“But Sirius that’s so sad...You can’t just...”

“I can.” Sirius turned on him, his eyes dark and glistening like molten silver. “I can and I will. Perhaps I’ll be able to marry one day...marry some girl I can be friends with maybe...but for now I’ll stick to trying to purge these...these disgusting feelings from my veins...” He clenched a hand over his heart and gazed down at his blurry reflection in the water. “It’s wrong and filthy. I’m wrong James. I’m disgusting and I...” He winced and lowered his head, both hands gripping the railing of the bridge. “If I do then perhaps I’ll know what it’s like to be normal...” He smiled and looked up at the sky. “Maybe there’s happiness in ‘normal’...I might even learn to like it...Who knows?”

James watched Sirius as the sunlight fell onto him, the image searing into his memory and etching itself there permanently and he realised with a sickening jolt he was losing him. “Siri I...” He paused, he had lifted his hand as if to take hold of him. He had an image of him grabbing Sirius’ slim hips and pulling him close, of their lips locked together on that little bridge. He took a shuddery breath and let his hand fall to his side with a dull thump. Sirius cocked his head to the side and the urge to kiss those lips was almost overwhelming, James stood. For a second he debated before turning on his heel and walking away.

Sirius watched him go and bent his head, he closed his eyes tightly. “It’s for the best...for your happiness, Jamie.”

XXX

James woke to a sudden, desperate scream. In his sleep clouded mind someone was dying, he groaned and struggled to throw off his blankets before stumbling out of bed and running out the door. He threw Sirius’ open and found him shaking and muttering in his sleep, his duvet had tangled around his body as he fought with invisible attackers. James automatically leapt into bed with him and held him close, he began stroking his hair and whispering soft, loving things to him. He was still half asleep as he did so, it was the most natural thing in the world to kiss Sirius’ lips and tell him over and over again that he was safe and he was loved...

Slowly Sirius began to calm and he snuggled deep into James’ embrace. James’ eyes fell closed and they held each other as sleep took them both.

James woke slowly to find Sirius watching him through his heavy fringe, he smiled slowly and kissed him before slowly the recent events caught up with him and he gasped as he struggled free of Sirius’ arms. Sirius sat up and moved away, his shoulders tense as he shifted to hide his morning erection. “Thanks...” He croaked slowly, still avoiding James’ eyes. “For...for last night...I...”

“No problem, what are friends for?” James climbed out of bed after adjusting his pyjama bottoms to hide his own rather prominent erection. James felt slightly bereft, he liked the closeness of Sirius’ body and now he was left feeling cold as he went to the door and touched the handle. Before he could pull it open he felt arms around him and hot lips on the back of his neck.

“I-I can’t...” Sirius’ broken whisper brushed his ear and James caught his breath. “I can’t...stop myself from loving you...”

“Siri...” James muttered as he was turned around and pushed into the door, Sirius’ eyes burned in his face, he was pale and shaking but he held James so tightly his fingers were leaving little marks on his hips. “I’m trying...so hard...” He muttered. “It’s so hard. It’s so fucking difficult! I...Sirius...We...”

“I know. I know. It’s wrong. It’s disgusting...but it’s so fucking good...” Sirius kissed him fully on the lips, it started off light and tentative but James suddenly pushed his fingers into his hair and pulled him into a deeper one. He forced his tongue into Sirius’ mouth and pushed him backwards, Sirius felt on the bed with a heavy, desperate groan.

“Every time I try and not think about you, you’re all I can think about...Every time I want to wank and I start thinking about Lily...about girls...b-but...but it always turns into you...always, always you...Stop torturing me...Its agony...” James muttered.

Sirius pulled away with a gasp and rolled out from beneath James, he lowered his head and covered his face. “This...this isn’t good.” He breathed. “I...I’ve tainted you. I’m sorry. I should leave...I should leave and never come back...” He stood up and grabbed his wand off the table, without a second thought he picked it up and snapped it over his knee. The two pieces fell from his numb fingers. “For you James, for you I’d rip out my heart.” He picked up a t-shirt, an old one that had belonged to James. He changed quickly and neatly folded his pyjamas on the bed. “Here...” He reached into his pocket and dropped several gold coins on the bedside table. “For...for you...It’s the last of my savings...I-I’ve been cut off so I won’t have any money...But when I do I’ll send it to you...I promise.” He turned, dodging James’ hands as he tried to grab him. Sirius ran down the stairs as fast as he could, his feet bare and only in a t-shirt and jeans as he pulled open the door and ran into the street. James wasn’t fast enough. As he followed Sirius down the stairs and out the front door he looked around and saw no sign of him.

XXX

Remus answered the knock on his door, he saw James standing there looking as if he had been put through the wringer. He stepped aside and let him enter. “You can’t stay for long James, in three days time It’ll be full moon and...and I don’t want you around for that.” He went to the small, cosy kitchen and began making James a cup of tea.

“Sirius has disappeared.” James said suddenly.

Remus turned to him. “You mean he ran off?”

James nodded and pushed fingers into his hair. “I lost him, he left me. I...I pushed him too far and...and now I’ve lost him for good...”

“No you haven’t.” Remus put some mugs by the kettle and began pouring hot water on the tea bags. “Sugar?” He asked calmly.

James looked at him like he was insane.

“James.” Remus said with a sigh, he put on his teachers voice and looked at James sternly. “Padfoot will always come back, I promise you. You will never lose him for good.”

Slowly James reached into his pocket and withdrew the two shards of wand, he placed it on the table and saw Remus’ face go pale. “He snapped it in two...he told me he would rip his heart out for me. Remus, he’s gone and there’s no way we’re going to be able to find him in the muggle world! He doesn’t know what he’s doing! He has nowhere to go! He has no money!”

“I see...I didn’t think he’d actually...what happened?”

XXX

Padfoot smelt FOOD. He whined as hunger gnawed painfully at his gut, he walked down the empty street where beggars lay in dark corners surrounded by filth and waste. He scented the air and was assaulted by a mixture of baking and meat, his stomach rumbled and he moved forward. His head was low as he followed the smell of FOOD. FOOD was close, he turned a corner and saw a brightly lit stone HUMAN HOME. He moved forward and passed by the PLASTIC FOOD BOX. That stood outside the door, he whined again and lifted himself up on his paws as he knocked over the dustbin, it clattered to the floor and he began rummaging through it, he tore at the plastic bags with his teeth and claws until he discovered some old bones, they were disgusting and mouldy but he was so hungry even the HUMAN part of him no longer cared.

He devoured what he could before he heard a hoarse shout as BIG FAT HUMAN stepped out of the door and began waving at him, he bolted in terror and disappeared into the dark.

XXX

Sirius bent double, he was sick again in the gutter. He seemed to be doing that a lot recently, the half rotted food he managed to scavange as Padfoot was too much for his stomach and he was making himself sicker by the day. He wiped his mouth on his sleeve and groaned as he sank down the wall, he curled up and hugged his knees to his chest, the cold floor felt good against his burning face and he sighed as he closed his eyes. He was filthy, dirt clung to him and his nails were caked with it, his feet had blisters from the huge distance he had been covering in an attempt to get to London. He thought that perhaps he would be able to find a job there and work for food and shelter, he needed to be able to send James some money in thanks for letting him stay and rescuing him from his despair. He relaxed as he sank into sleep, his thoughts drifting to his broken wand. He missed magic, it made everything so much more convenient. But he didn’t belong in that world, he couldn’t live in a world where he could get his friends killed because he was unable to resist his vile urges. Deep down he had known his parents were right, he had always known he was useless and pathetic it had just taken him this long to really look at himself. It was good that he was away from James, he didn’t want to taint him more than he already had, he didn’t want to continue hurting him anymore.

He would always be grateful to James, he owed him his life so he would make sure that one day he repaid that debt. He would throw himself in front of an Avada Kedavra if that was needed, he would destroy himself and kill everything that made him human if it meant James would be happy. He smiled in his sleep as he dreamt of sweet, heated nights in the four poster bed at Hogwarts...

XXX

The streets of London were loud, Sirius had hardly slept since he had arrived and he stumbled down a street feeling light headed. His mind began to play tricks on him, he kept seeing his family. His mother stood in the shadows of a doorway, as he passed she hissed at him, reminding him that he was a vile creature who deserved to be punished. He lowered his head when he heard those words. “Yes mother...” He muttered and forced himself onward. His father loomed out of the dusk, his hand raised as he pointed an overly large finger at him. You should have let us cart you off to the nut house, boy! You deserve this fate. “Y-yes sir...I’m sorry sir...” Sirius breathed as he walked onwards, his father’s apparition fading into the mist. His brother sat on the pavement, his eyes full of pain and anger. I warned you, why don’t you listen to me?! I will never forgive you for this, Sirius. I hope you rot, you deserve everything that has happened to you. You destroyed this family. “...I did...I’m sorry...I should have let them...torture me...I should have let them drive me insane...I shouldn’t have left the house...I should go back...” He lifted his head and looked around, blinking through the haze of his waking dreams, he realised where he was and began moving off in the vague direction of his house. “Go back...have to apologise...have to make up for it...Have to give myself up. I have to forget...Jamie...” He broke into hysterical sobs that wracked his body as he sank to his knees in the street. He began rocking back and forth, hugging himself desperately. He was sick of running away. He was tired of wanting to escape. He was exhausted beyond anything he had ever felt before as he let himself fall sideways and closed his eyes. He hummed softly to himself as cars lit the street, highlighting the tiny huddled form of the broken teenager. He lost the will to move. It was too much effort and lying there was nice, his limbs throbbed from the effort it had taken him to walk a few steps and he was so tired...so, so tired. He decided to concentrate on images of James in his head, it eased his pain and he smiled in his sleep as a car drove through a puddle, splashing muddy water over his trembling body.

XXX

When Sirius next came around he was lying in a soft bed, he frowned and rolled onto his side. He looked out across the small room at a chair by his bedside. The room was light and airy but small and barely furnished. There was a book on the seat and he realised someone must have found him, he struggled into a sitting position and lifted his arms, he saw that he had been cleaned and dressed in fresh pyjama’s. The door opened and he looked up at a tall man with a kind face, his eyes however were hard like diamonds and his smile never reached them. “Hello, how are you feeling?” The man said, he came in holding a tray with soup on it. Sirius could smell the chicken and his stomach growled so loudly he flushed in embarrassment. “Hungry then? Good. Here, eat this slowly you obviously haven’t eaten for a while.” He set the tray down over Sirius’ legs and sat down in the chair. “Eat, it’s not poisoned.” He urged gently.

Sirius was too hungry to care, he dipped his spoon in and began shovelling it into his mouth. With his eyes on his food he watched the man watch him in his peripheral vision.

“I found you lying in the street half starved.” The man said softly as the spoon clattered into the empty bowl. Sirius nodded by way of thanks, unwilling and unable to speak. “What’s a young boy like you doing lying in the street wearing nothing but filthy clothes?”

Sirius remained silent. He gazed at the stranger with dark, haunted eyes.

“I see that something terrible has happened to you, I can help you.” He smiled and leaned forward. “I can give you food and a place to live and even some pocket money, if you’re good...”

Sirius cocked his head to the side curiously.

“All I want you to do is entertain some guests, if you become popular your worth will go up and you will earn more money, do you understand?”

Sirius nodded eagerly. This way he could earn enough money to repay James, if he had a job in the muggle world perhaps he really could survive and escape his horrible desires.

“Excellent, we also have some perks...” He withdrew a small clear plastic bag and tipped some white powder into his palm. “Do you know what this is?” Sirius shook his head. “This will make all your pain go away...” His smile unnerved Sirius but the white powder in his hand had him curious. If it worked and it did make his pain go away he could perhaps cope with everything that had happened...was this the miracle cure he had been waiting for? The man smiled wider as he took Sirius’ arm and drew back the sleeve of his top. He ran his thumb down the inside of his elbow and flicked his eyes back to those bright silver ones. “You have an unusual eye colour, people will pay good money for that. What’s your name?”

Sirius shook his head.

“You will have to learn to talk soon.” He picked up a black bag and began removing some strange equipment from it, Sirius watched curiously as he placed a needle, a thick peice of leather, a spoon and a tea light candle on the bedside table. “They will expect you to speak to them, but I suppose for now it could increase your price...you’re certainly a rare beauty.” He began pouring a little powder into the bowl of the spoon and held it over the lit candle, Sirius watched it melt into an odd, silvery fluid. He filled the syringe with it and removed air by pushing down on the plastic bit. With short, practised movements he began tapping at Sirius’ veins and tied the black strip of leather tightly round his arm. “I promise you, this will feel good.” He whispered as he jabbed the needle into a vein in Sirius’ arm. Sirius winced but made no sound. It would have been pointless fighting anyway, he was trapped here without any means of magical escape.

When the man had pumped the silver liquid into Sirius’ arm he removed the belt and put everything away, discarding the needle in the waste paper basket. He watched Sirius who simply gazed at him blankly. It took a while before Sirius felt heat flush his body, it wasn’t uncomfortable and he found it rather pleasant. Hi breathing slowed down until his chest barely rose and fell and he let himself fall backwards, he found himself smiling at the ceiling. It was a wonderful feeling of intense Euphoria, he sighed softly and let his body relax.

The man smiled and silently slipped from the room, boys with issues were so easy to con. He could tell this one was special, this one would make him lots of money. He could keep him looking exquisite, ensure he didn’t lose too much weight as to become unattractive and if he was careful enough he could snap what little will the boy had left by withholding his only escape. He would plum the fat business men for as much as he could, they liked to bum little boys. It may take him a while to break the new boy in but he would be worth it. He could already see the cash flowing and he grinned to himself as he walked down the hall surrounded by moans, screams and the sounds of illicit sex.

XXX

Dumbledore looked down at the letter, it was addressed to a Muggle residence in the heart of London. He frowned in confusion at it. Normally the letters from Hogwarts addressed themselves to wherever the recipient was. He re-read it in case his eye sight was going but it hadn’t changed.

Sirius Orion Black,

112 Tottenham Court Road,

Fifth room on the second floor.

London.

“You see what I mean, Albus?” McGonagall said slowly, she was just as confused as he was.

“I do, Minerva...” Dumbledore looked up.

“When it was first written it addressed itself to the Potter residence, and then when I was about to send it off it changed to just ‘busy London street, second corner.’ And now this...I held it back to show you.”

Dumbledore’s frown deepened. “This is worrying...” he stood up. “I will contact Mrs. Potter and see if she cannot shed some light on this.” He picked up his quill and wrote a quick, polite note and signed it before going to Fawkes the phoenix and stroking his head. “Take this to Dorea Potter...” He said softly and the bird gave a single wavering note before disappearing in a flash of fire. “Fawkes will return with her reply soon enough.” He returned to his seat and sat down, arranging his robes casually. “Would you like a Liquorish snap?” He asked his Deputy Headmistress.

“No thank you, Albus.” McGonagall was too worried to eat anything. She pursed her lips as Albus gazed blandly around his office in content silence.

“You appear to have something to say?”

“Yes, Albus...I am concerned about Black’s welfare. For years now he had been coming to us beaten and abused and it shows itself in his behaviour towards the other students, there have been rumours about multiple sexual escapades in which some have suggested have involved other boys...”

Dumbledore smiled that infuriatingly knowing smile. “I see, and what do you think, Minerva? I don’t see you as the type of person who puts credence in rumours in a school.”

McGonagall sighed. “No, ordinarily it wouldn’t bother me, but you know better than anyone what the wizarding world can do to someone of such a sexual persuasion...” Albus held up his hand and she halted.

“And there you have it.” He said, his face falling into a serious expression. “Young Sirius is discovering his sexuality, he is stifled by this world and is unable to fully express himself. There is little help we can give him except guidance and understanding.”

“I was thinking that perhaps you could speak to him personally, you know better than anyone else in the school what it is like to...”

Dumbledore’s face became suddenly very old as an ancient grief filled his blue eyes. “I can give him nothing he will not already be fully aware of, Minerva. Sirius must go through this alone, we cannot intervene and he would be humiliated if we tried.”

“I apologise I had no intention of offending you.” McGonagall said with pity.

Dumbledore smiled and shook his head. “Not to worry, my own grief is my punishment for what I...” He broke off and sighed. “I must bear this burden alone, it is my repentance for my youthful mistakes.”

McGonagall had no idea exactly what had happened in Albus’ youth but she knew of his illicit relationship with the Wizard Grindelwald, it saddened her to think that he had fallen in love with such a disturbed soul and had to imprison his ex-lover for his heinous crimes. Before she could speak to break the melancholy mood Fawkes returned bearing Dorea’s reply. “Ah! Well done, Fawkes.” Dumbledore said as the huge bird took off, he swooped around the room and landed on his perch to preen his gorgeous crimson plumage. He turned the parchment letter over to reveal a seal with a crest in it, the crest was badly disfigured but he could make out a straight line in the centre, obviously Dorea had sealed it with her husband’s crest and in a hurry. It was an oddly familiar one and made his stomach flutter slightly. He pushed it aside, he was feeling off due to all the talk about his past obviously. He tore open the wax seal and it broke into many pieces.

Professor Dumbledore,

I am glad to hear from you, even if it is a little unexpected. I assume that you are unaware of it as you appear confused as to the address change but Sirius Black ran away from his home at Grimmauld Place and came to us, for a while we were helping him heal and ensuring his safety...however I am sorry to say that he has run away again. We have no idea where he is but my son has gone after him, James didn’t tell me he was leaving and I am so worried. If you hear anything please tell me. Remus Lupin’s mother told me she found what remains of Sirius’ wand in his room, he left with my son and she too is terrified for him. I have contacted Peter Pettigrew and heard that he too has run away from home, it seems as if they are out searching for Sirius. I believe that he may be in considerable danger especially since the news that the Death Eaters have been on the move again recently.

I am sorry I cannot be of more help.

Dorea Potter.

“Minerva, I believe it is time I found and returned our little stray puppy...” Dumbledore said with a smile and rose from his seat.

XXX

“Oh yes, he is exquisite.” The old man whispered as he stepped into the dimly lit room. The illegal whorehouse catered to any taste, he preferred young boys, the more feminine the better and the one the proprietor was showing him was perfection. His skin was pale, almost white, his body half exposed by the elegantly placed sheer fabric that had been wrapped around his naked bottom half. His hair was long and thick and shiny, he licked his lips as his eyes travelled that beautiful body hungrily. “What is his name?”

The Pimp leaned against the door way, a cigarette dangling from between his lips. “He’s mute, he won’t speak to us. But we have taken to calling Snow White...for obvious reasons.”

“I can see it.” The man moved into the room carefully, the lamps were covered in shawls and pieces of coloured cloth giving everything a fairy tale quality that enhanced the boy’s beauty. “He looks like a prince...” He said softly, he reached out to touch his face but the Pimp grabbed his wrist tightly.

“You don’t touch until I see the colour of your money.”

The man nodded absently and removed his wallet from his pocket, he handed over the notes and waited for the Pimp to count it. When he was done he tucked it into his blazer pocket and nodded. “I’ll leave you two alone then. Everything you need is in the draws, toys, lube, chains condoms if that’s the way you play...have fun sir.” He grinned and closed the door behind him.

Sirius gazed blankly up at the ceiling, bright colours danced across it and he chased them with slow moving eyes. His pupils devoured the irises until only a tiny ring of silver surrounded the black. Like two wells of utter emptiness, he breathed in slow, steady breaths as cool hands slid slowly up his chest he didn’t react. He only wanted the colours, it was all that mattered to him. Something hard pinched his nipples and he gave a soft groan as they hardened beneath the teasing, he turned his head which took huge amounts of effort and stared at a lamp for a while. His fingers twitched as that hand slipped down his body, following his treasure trail beneath the sheer cloth covering his groin. He hardened beneath the gentle, insistent ministrations as hot, minty breath caressed his ear. Someone was whispering something but their voice was hardly recognisable as English. His breathing remained slow, even though his body was reacting to the touches, a hot tongue glided up his now full erection and he moaned. His eyes flickered and colours became sharper. He moved a hand, feeling a tingling racing through his blood. The feeling was similar to how he had healed himself automatically before he had started school and gained control over his magic. He closed his eyes as his head began to clear. The inherent Magic in his body was clearing out the drug until he was fully aware again, the high never lasted long and Sirius despised it. He blinked again as he reached down his body and touched some hair, he could feel shocks of pleasure racing through him and he whispered a question; “James?” But that was stupid, he had left James. He was going to earn money so he could pay him back for all his help, he had sworn to himself he would. He frowned and lifted his head to look down. The man was on his knees, gazing at him hungrily. He was fat and square. His eyes dull like dirty dishwater, his hair was wiry and grey as steel. Sirius gasped and sat upright, he pulled his legs into his body protectively and gazed at the man with wide eyes. “Who the fuck are you?!” He asked.

“I’m your client, boy.” The man frowned. “The Pimp said you were mute.”

Sirius licked his lips and glanced around the room, the last thing he remembered clearly was taking more of those nice drugs the strange man had given him and letting himself slip away on a tide of utter bliss. He looked down and saw several draws open in his side table, he could clearly see plastic penises, packets of muggle condoms, bottles, whips and reams of chains. He uttered a sickened groan and began moving off the bed, he wrapped the cloth around him, even though he knew it was pointless. It made him feel a little less vulnerable. “I don’t want to fuck you.” He said slowly, inching towards the door. “The man...the one in the blue suite said I could work for him and he’d give me some money...I have to help someone...but...but not like this.

“I paid for you! He was charging twice the amount he normally does for the pretty boys! I will have what I paid for, young man!”

The man lunged but Sirius was quicker, he dodged out the way and ran to the other side of the room. He felt helpless without his wand but he knew if he had to he would partake in muggle duelling, he was used to punching people.

“Come back here or I will report you and you will be punished.”

Sirius almost quailed at those words but something seemed to happen, he heard a soft voice in his head; You don’t have to listen to him. He’s not your parents. You escaped all that, you found safety but you threw it away...You can have it again...you can go home where you belong...

And where is that?

James...

Sirius was ready as the man lunged again, he lifted his knee and it connected with the man’s genitals. Sirius let out a triumphant laugh as he turned and picked up some chains, he grinned as he bounced them in one hand casually. He had never done it before but something had changed, he knew he could do it now...

The chains rose and wrapped themselves around the fat man, they bound him from head to foot as he toppled over with a crash. Sirius felt a rush of triumph. He had used controlled, wandless magic! He giggled before running around and searching for some clothes to wear. He found an in-built wardrobe and opened it, there was a large array of clothes but most of them were ridiculous and would draw too much attention to him. He searched until he found a plain shirt and tight leather trousers. He shrugged and put them on before tying his hair back and rummaging through the draws for something useful he could use.

“Y-You....what are you?” The muggle said from the floor.

Sirius stood slowly, he looked at him and smiled. “I’m a wizard.” He said and laughed at the man’s expression of shock and disbelief. “Believe me or not, I don’t care.” His smile widened to reveal pointed canines. “But you should remember not to come to these kinds of places any more, the man here is a pervert who exploits people who seem troubled...unfortunately for him he fucked with the wrong kid.”

“Who are you?” The man looked terrified and Sirius laughed, a sharp bark that filled the room with mirth.

“Sirius Orion Black.” His smile widened as he stood with his hands on his hips, the light shone red on his face. “A free man who did something ridiculously stupid and now is going to make up for it.” He turned to one of the mirrors on the door of the wardrobe and saw his reflection, his smile widened. The shirt was black satin and fell open to about half-way down his chest the trousers were tight but still allowed for the use of the imagination. He smiled, he liked it. “And I’m going to change the world!”

It hit him like a glowing golden light. He had been so blind, so stupid to not see it sooner. He had no parents, he had no family ties, not any more. He had allowed depression to cloud his mind and hide the truth from him. “Gryffindor for a reason.” He muttered to himself as he smoothed a hand across his chest, the fabric of the shirt was nice and soft. He had been a coward, he had been fleeing from a past that didn’t matter anymore. It was over. He now had a bright future ahead of him and he could do whatever the fuck he wanted, he could be whoever he wanted...he could finally be himself. “I’m gay.” He whispered and he laughed again, he had found a packet of cigarettes, probably left for the clients enjoyment and lit up as he sat back on the bed. He smoked and watched his molester with bright eyes and his legs crossed, he bounced a silver Zippo lighter on the palm of his hand for a moment. Blue-grey smoke drifted to the ceiling as he flicked ash on the carpet absently. “So, any particular reason you were trying to fuck me? Wife not good enough? Not into women?”

The man said nothing, he glared at the boy. He was cool and almost terrifyingly calm, his eyes glittering like molten silver behind a fringe that fell casually into his eyes. Every movement he made bespoke of an aristocratic arrogance that enhanced his resemblance to a spoilt prince. He shrugged and leaned back on the bed with one hand. “I’m going to assume the doors locked from the outside? I mean, he wouldn’t want his big money maker to escape would he?” He sighed and absently gazed around the room. “There’s a secret knock?” He glanced at the man who’s face gave it away. “Thought so, what is it? Tell me and I’ll give you a gift.”

“What would you give me? You tied me up you brat!”

Sirius shrugged. “You want to fuck? You tell me and I’ll let you use me, but only because I want out of here.”

The man considered the proposition. He would get what he paid for and if he was willing he may actually know a few tricks, the boy seeped an aura the muggle had only ever encountered among his gay clientele in his fashion stores. Finally he nodded and the boy crushed the cigarette out on the side table and stood above him with an easy, arrogant grin.

END NOTE: Well, if you're wandering why Siri goes from drugged up uber-mess to sudden confidence well, I tried to portray the feeling of an epiphany...I honestly think it failed...big time and just seems like a random schizo change in his personality but honestly its supposed to be an epiphany! -.-' Please beleive me! lol. now the drugs thing, what gave me the idea that magic counteracts the drugs in a Wizards system is something JK says in Canon, the way she describes Harry's speedy recovery from injuries not caused by magic (When he's a kid) and the way his hair grows back after his aunt Petunia cuts it all off made me consider that the bodies same defenses would kick in with something like drugs, basically negating any long-term effects...which is an idea i found interesting. Enjoy and loving your reveiws as always. :)
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Amore et Amicitia