Adult-FanFiction.org : Harry Potter

Rejection: A Double-Edged Sword	By : brooklynvtc Category: Harry Potter > Het - Male/Female > Harry/Ginny Views: 21247 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter and I do not make any profit from this story.

Chapter List
- 33
- 34
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Chapter Thirty-Four
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During the dinner feast at the Gryffindor table was a rather awkward affair.
Ron was not speaking to her. Instead, he chose to studiously ignore her presence. And whatever he did say in regards to her, were things such as, "Nosey, prat of a sister… stealing my best mate then harping on me about a bloody ball…" - or - "Sounds just like mum, the way you go on about it. Bloody hell…"
Either way, Ginny was positively fuming. She couldn't believe how daft her brother was being!
Hermione was back to pointedly ignoring Ron's existence, which Ginny could hardly blame. Her brother had it coming if he kept thinking that it was alright to play with Hermione's heart like this.
And then there was poor Harry. Who was, quite literally, stuck in the middle of Ron and Ginny, as he was sitting between them at the table.
She could feel his discomfort in the tense posture he had adopted for the entire meal. So, she kept her mouth closed whenever Ron muttered out his comments about her. Just because she wanted to save Harry from any further discomfort. Especially after a third year student came up to Harry and delivered a note from Professor Flitwick, telling Harry that his detention would be at eight o'clock. The note went on to say that he should bring his charms textbook to read the chapter he had missed for the day.
After supper had ended, Harry had little choice but to leave them right away... in order to fetch his charms book in his dorm room, so not to be late for detention.
As Harry got up to leave, he reached down to squeeze her hand and smiled down at her apologetically. She knew that if given the option, he would much rather spend the evening with her, talking about the barriers that needed to be cleared between them. But Ginny didn't take his absence to heart. She knew that they would soon find the time to talk about everything that they needed to, soon.
After Harry had run off, Ginny slowly got up from her place at the table after the food had disappeared. She thought about getting into some warm pajamas… maybe even stopping by the kitchens for a spot of tea before bed.
But it was as she was about to leave the Great Hall, when a voice stopped her...
"Miss Weasley..." Ginny turned, and saw Professor Flitwick shuffling towards her.
"Oh! Hi Professor. How are you?" Ginny greeted, with a pleasant tone.
Flitwick waved off her pleasantries, and frowned at her disapprovingly. "Miss Weasley, I didn't see you in my class this morning, and I don't recall receiving any approvals of absence in regards to you."
Ginny froze and looked down at Professor Flitwick with wide eyes, her cheeks coloring to match her hair... "I-I'm sorry, Professor! So terribly sorry! I, well, uhh, you see... I overslept this morning..." Ginny admitted, embarrassed at how forgetful that made her seem.
The deep look of displeasure didn't leave his face. "Regardless of your reasons, I believe that you are quite old enough to know how to set a tempus alarm. You will have detention with me tonight, Miss Weasley."
Ginny's eyes widened in disbelief, and she tried not to show her excitement at the fact. Harry had said that he had detention with Flitwick, didn't he? Perhaps they would have time to talk tonight, after all.
Ginny schooled her expression to look regretful. "I understand, Professor."
Professor Flitwick nodded and said in a prompt tone, "Eight o'clock sharp." Before he turned to leave.
As soon as Flitwick turned away, Ginny smiled brightly to herself, not able to believe her own luck. It was perhaps the only time that she had even been excited about a detention! She couldn't wait to surprise Harry!
…..
Ginny immediately ran up to her dorm to fetch her Charms textbook. She knew that if she didn't hurry, then she would be late for the start of her detention.
With her book firmly secured against her, she now took to taking the stairs two at a time to get to Flitwick's classroom.
But she must have been going too fast, because just as she was turning a corner to another corridor, she bumped into someone who was walking in the opposite direction...
"Ofph!" Dean let out from the sudden impact, stepping backwards a pace. Dean rubbed at his head, seeming very perturbed. "Would you bloody well watch where you're...!"
Dean trailed off as he looked up and saw who it was who had bumped into him.
"Oh." He said in surprise, as he noticed Ginny standing right in front of him.
Her brow arched silently in question, silently daring him to finish his sentence.
Sheepishness suddenly overcame Dean then, as he looked mightily embarrassed. "Sorry..."
Ginny merely shrugged one shoulder, refusing to respond or even look him in the eye.
Then, in an incredibly stupid and daring move, Dean had reached his hand up to rest upon her shoulder...
Her gaze snapped up to where his hand lay, before her hard eyes drifted up to glare at his face..
What little confidence he had seemed to falter at the look, and he slowly dropped his hand from where it had been touching her. "S-sorry." He said again.
Ginny didn't even nod. She merely side-stepped around him and started to be on her way once again.
"Ginny, wait!" He called out from behind her.
She paused, if only out of habit of stopping when hearing her name called.
"C-Can we talk? If you aren't busy, that is..." Dean asked from the few paces behind her.
Ginny looked over her shoulder at him, her expression now neutral. "No. I've got detention to get to."
With that, she continued on her way, not even bothering to wait for any sort of reaction from Dean.
Just seeing him had served to make her mood quite sour. But she couldn't let it bother her right then. She had a detention to get to, and she only hoped that she wouldn't be late.
At that thought, Ginny picked up her pace down the halls until she finally made it to the Charms classroom.
She paused just outside the door and saw that Harry was already seated within, and that he was alone.
He had his textbook already open, getting a jump start on the chapter he had missed for the day. Ginny couldn't help but grin as she observed him. It looked as though they would be the only two in detention tonight.
With that thought in mind, Ginny stepped forward and knocked on the doorframe, disrupting Harry from his concentration..
He gave a startled look as he looked up at the noise, his eyebrows shooting up in surprise. "Gin?" He asked. "What are you doing here?"
Ginny couldn't suppress her growing grin as she said, "Turns out that I have detention, too. For sleeping in and skipping class this morning."
"Really?"
Ginny nodded, allowing a bit of the giddiness to seep through.
"Surprised?" Ginny asked.
A slow grin stretched across Harry's face as he appraised her. "Very..." He said distractedly, before snapping to attention and finally meeting her eyes. "But in a good way!"
Ginny smirked at him, telling him that she knew exactly what he had been doing. But before she could comment and take the mickey out of him, Professor Flitwick shuffled through the door behind her.. "Please take a seat Miss. Weasley."
Ginny immediately went to the seat next to Harry, setting her textbook onto the table in front of her.
Professor Flitwick then conjured a large hourglass and tipped it over on his desk. "I shall be back at the end of this hourglass. Please read your prospective chapters, then sit quietly and wait for me to return."
Then, after pulling up his trousers a bit by his belt loops, Professor Flitwick turned and went out the way that he came... unwittingly leaving behind two teenaged students that had recently started a relationship.
Ginny watched as the sand in the hourglass went through the tiny hole to get to the bottom... the sand was going through it terribly slow.
They were quiet after the Professor left, both waiting on bated breath to see if he would return. But it was a long moment later when they realized that they were well and truly alone, and would be that way for quite some time.
Suddenly, Harry released the breath that he had been holding, and turned towards Ginny - smiling at her with a randy smirk as he rested his elbow on the table.
"What is it that you want to do now that he's gone?" He asked and in a very un-Harry-like fashion, he swiveled his eyebrows up and down at her, flirtatiously.
Ginny couldn't stop the flaming blush from his implication, but she smiled all the same, albeit in a slight, apologetic manner. "I was rather hoping that we could talk about some things..."
Harry's playful demeanor dropped immediately, and he sat up straight, fully facing her. There was an edge of worry in his eyes as he stared imploringly at her. "Y-You had mentioned that before... but I'm not entirely sure what it is you think we need to talk about...?"
Ginny shrugged.. "Well, anything, really. I just really want to, well, clear the air between us... You know, solve some of the mysteries and questions we have for the other."
Harry stared at her blankly, unsure of how it was he was supposed to respond. "Oh."
Ginny bit her lip, losing a sliver of her confidence over the idea. "I'll go first...?" She offered.
Harry relaxed then and nodded, seeming relieved that he didn't have to direct where this conversation was going to start.
"Alright... hmmm... let's see..." Ginny tapped her chin as she pondered what was the more safer topics to ask him first, before she brightened with an idea of where to start.
"Tell me what it was like when you first started liking Cho."
...
Harry's jaw dropped at the unexpected question. He couldn't believe that she wanted to hear about his past feelings for another girl!
Was this some sort of test he had to pass? Or a trap?
No... this was Ginny. She never put herself into other's business. Not unless she was genuinely curious, because she was never really one for gossip.
"A-Are you sure?" Harry asked her, uncertain and afraid that he would unwittingly upset her by talking about how he used to feel for Cho.
Ginny nodded, seeming adamant and unworried.
So, with a snap decision, Harry decided to answer with the truth. "Well... uh, at first I didn't really know that I had a crush on her." He started, uncomfortably. "I remember thinking that she was pretty in my third year - which she is nothing compared to you, by the way...!"
Ginny blushed at the compliment that he had basically blurted out to her and smiled, reaching over to clasp his hand in hers.
Her warm touch managed to help with his nerves. At least he hadn't said anything yet to scare her off. He smiled slightly at her before continuing. "But it was really in my fourth year when I started to feel rather... funny when I saw her. Especially when she walked around with Cedric. I didn't realize right then, but I was jealous of him at the time. And it wasn't until a bit of time after that, where I realized that I fancied her..."
He drifted off... remembering the unpleasant feeling of seeing someone you fancy with someone else. It was the first time he had felt it, but it was nothing compared to the jealousy he felt when he had to watch Ginny with Dean.
"Go on." Ginny urged.
Harry swallowed. "Last year I still had these feelings for her... even though I knew nothing about her. But I was a silly school boy with a crush, and I found myself constantly watching her... Then, about a week after I made the mistake of rejecting you, I noticed that Cho had stayed behind in the Room of Requirement after the D.A. lesson. I stayed with her, and she was asking me all sorts of questions about Cedric... which I didn't really care to answer at the moment. She was crying and I remember how bloody uncomfortable it made me feel. Then there was a mistletoe and I said something about nargles... and we kissed. It was wet, though." Harry recalled the kiss with a look of disgust on his face.
Ginny stared at him with wide eyes. "What do you mean it was 'wet'?"
"Hmm? Oh, well she had been crying and it was... well, wet. And rather unpleasant."
Ginny stared at him for a moment longer before she burst out into laughter. She was laughing so hard that she had to bend over their clasped hands in order to catch her breath. Harry watched her for a moment with bewildered eyes, before her laughter became too infectious and he found himself chuckling along with her.
Finally, Ginny managed to get a hold of her laughter and righted herself once again. "Would I sound too clingy if I said I am glad that you didn't enjoy your first kiss with her?"
Harry found himself grinning widely at her. "Not at all. Same as I wouldn't be clingy if you told me that you didn't enjoy snogging Dean..."
Ginny made a face. "Snogging Dean actually hurt... it was like he was purposely trying to bruise my lips with his..." Ginny looked at him and saw that there was a gleam of victory in Harry's eyes, and decided to tease him a bit.
"So... do you think kissing me is wet and unpleasant?"
Harry gaped at her. Was she barmy?
"I would have to be bloody mad to describe kissing you as unpleasant, Gin..." He said seriously. "And as for it being wet? Yes, but only in the best ways..." He stared at her with heat in his eyes, hoping that she caught his implication.
It seemed that she had caught onto his meaning, from the long stare that she was giving back to him - with her eyelids heavy and her pupils dilated. But just as Harry was leaning in closer to lay claim on her lips, is the moment where Ginny remembered herself and backed up slightly. Harry paused at her slight retreat.
"Well…" Ginny said, before clearing her throat as she tried her best to right her thought process. "Nice try with the distraction, but it is your turn to ask me something."
Harry sat back in his seat, slightly disappointed that he hadn't been able to steal a kiss from her, but was also thinking over some of the things that he had been curious about regarding his Ginger Firecracker… Until, finally, he found something…
"Tell me more about what made you decide to confess your fancy for me, last year."
Ginny was quiet for a brief moment, as she looked up and stared at the upper corner of the opposite wall, before she let out a heavy sigh.
"I could say that it was Hermione who convinced me to confess… but she was merely the push over the edge in the great scheme of things. The truth is that I was just so damn tired, Harry… I was tired to having such strong feelings for you when you only saw me as, not even an acquaintance, but as your best mate's annoying, baby sister…"
Harry shook his head immediately. "I never saw you as annoying, Gin. Sure, I saw you as my best mate's little sister, but never annoying. If anything, I never understood why your brothers would tell me how downright terrifying you could be when they got you angry. Because from my viewpoint, I only ever saw you as shy girl who was always silent whenever in my presence.."
"I suppose that I am to blame for us not being close friends all these years…" Ginny admitted, rather reluctantly - all the while, brushing her thumb over his. "I never opened up to you and showed you my true self. And I think that a part of me did recognize that last year, which was another motivation of why I chose to confess my fancy to you. It was also the reason why I asked you if we could try and be friends after you had rejected me. I had hoped that if I couldn't have you as a boyfriend, then at the very least, I wanted to show you that I could be a good friend."
Harry leaned forward in his seat, trying to put all the conviction in his voice that he could.
"You were, Gin. You still are. One of the most reliable, witty, and devious friends that I have ever had. I remember thinking of how my perception of you had completely changed after our conversation that night after the D.A.. I think the part that really got me was when you mentioned how valuable of a friend you could be to me by demonstrating that you could put shrinking powder in Malfoy's underwear drawer." Harry laughed at the memory, seeing it through a lense of newfound appreciation.
Ginny giggled, a mischievous gleam in her eye. "Oh… I still find that to be one of my better ideas. We should find a way to make that happen one of these days."
Harry couldn't help it. With a laugh, he couldn't resist leaning forward and pressing a short kiss to her lips. "What have I ever done to deserve you?"
Ginny snorted. "Please. It doesn't take much for any decent person to hate the ferret."
"No. But it takes an exceptional one to want to be able to stand up to him. I know that Cho's friend, Marietta Edgecombe, wouldn't be able to." Harry said her name sourly. He still had a sore spot for the girl who had betrayed the D.A. to Umbridge last year.
Ginny looked at him curiously, no doubt questioning the extra malice Harry had used when he said the girl's name. Harry sighed as he readied himself to explain.
"Some part of me blames her for everything that had happened last year… I know that it's silly, but if she hadn't ratted out the D.A., then Dumbledore would have still been there when I needed him. Then maybe, I wouldn't have fallen for that stupid trap that Voldemort had set up for me, and maybe Sirius wouldn't have died."
Harry dropped his head forward with a sigh, then shrugged a nonchalant manner. "Sure, it doesn't bother me as much, because I can see Sirius and my parents whenever I like now. But this last summer… well, I was in a rather dark place. I had felt so alone. Sirius had just died and the only company that I had were my relatives. It took a while to accept that it wasn't my fault that he had died, but any rational mind will try and put the blame on anything and everything else."
As he spoke, he felt the ghost of the former anger return to him. "For a while there, I was fixated by the chain of events that lead to the Department of Mysteries, and I had gotten to the conclusion that it was Marietta's fault for a while. It didn't help that Cho had tried to defend her actions to me. I was so furious at Cho for trying to defend her friend who had betrayed all of us, including Cho herself!"
Ginny stared at him. She must have sensed the true anger he still felt from the bite in his tone. "Is that what ended your relationship with Cho?"
Harry chuckled unamusedly as he shook his head. "No. Our first date was downright awkward and she ended up getting jealous of Hermione, of all people. She had dragged me to Madame Puddifoot's Tea Shop, where we had nothing to talk about. Then, when I asked her if she wanted to meet Hermione with me, she went into a jealous rage and stormed off. I remember being rather indifferent when she had left."
"Huh." Ginny let out, somewhat dumbfounded.
"What?" Harry asked.
Ginny shook her head, trying to suppress a smile. "It's just that, well, I used to look at the two of you as the perfect couple… and I was so jealous of the fact. I guess it feels good to know that was hardly the case."
"Trust me, Gin. We have nothing really in common. Even talking quidditch with her had been boring." His voice had grown soft now that he was reassuring her that there was no need to be jealous of his past fancy.
"I just, well, I used to watch you watching her… and I saw the way that you would look at her." Ginny tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear, while she opened their clasped hands so that she could trace the lines in his palm. The action caused tingles to run up Harry's arm. "It was another reason why I felt the need to confess to you. Because I was sick of feeling so jealous all of the time. I hated what the jealousy was making me be as a person. And Hermione had been right when she pointed out that the way that I viewed myself because of that jealousy wasn't all that healthy either."
Harry was surprised by this. Never in his wildest dreams had he thought that was the underlying reason Ginny felt the need to tell him of her feelings… Perhaps he owed Hermione another apology for blaming her for pushing Ginny to confess to him.
"Oh…" Harry said, still thinking about the implications of all that Ginny revealed to him. He turned their hands so that hers was threaded within his grasp, once again. "So that's what you meant when you said that you didn't confess your fancy for me because you thought that I would have returned your feelings… but that you did it for yourself."
Ginny nodded, confirming what he said was the truth. "And it did work. Even if I was disappointed that you didn't fancy me back at the time, I wasn't a fool to believe that you would have sudden feelings for me when we had barely spoken to each other. It did help that after I buried my feelings for you, that I was able to be myself around you as your friend. I guess it was just easier to act normal when the pressure of my fancy for you had been removed. Plus, not long after, I had gotten in a relationship with Michael… which was a certain distraction, at best."
Harry frowned in obvious distaste at the mention of Ginny's ex-boyfriend. "Even back then, I always thought that he was never good enough for you. Looking back, I know that I had to be somewhat jealous, even though I didn't even know that I was jealous, nor did I know that I had any sort of feelings for you then. I actually think that as soon as you became my friend, and I started to get to know the true you, is the moment that I started to grow feelings for you… I would even argue that the seed had been planted the very night that I had rejected you. Because that was I got to know the real Ginny."
Ginny smiled at that, and squeezed his hand in a way that spoke volumes of what she thought of what he had just said.
Harry smiled back, and brought their clasped hands up to kiss the back of her own hand. "What was it that caused you and Michael to break up?"
Ginny scoffed at that and rolled her eyes. "When I covered the seeker position for you during your quidditch ban, last year, he was upset when Gryffindor had beaten Ravenclaw when I caught the snitch before Cho. He was in such a downright terrible mood about it, that I broke up with him right then and there. He couldn't have even been the supportive boyfriend and been happy for me that I had caught the snitch." Ginny shrugged, seeming unbothered by it now. "Anyways, it didn't take him long to go and comfort Cho over her loss of the game."
Harry scoffed. "See? I told you that he wasn't good enough for you."
"You told me no such thing at the time!" Ginny teased, imitating indignant outrage.
Harry paused for a brief moment, before going on to say, "Well, I'm telling you now that I had always thought that he wasn't good for you."
Ginny rolled her eyes at him, good-naturedly. "And I suppose you think that you are?"
This caused Harry to freeze once again, as he thought over his answer. "Not quite. But at least I know how important you are, and to treat you as such."
Ginny's smirk melted off of her face at that, staring at Harry with soft eyes. "Good answer." She whispered. Before she shook her head to clear all of the cobwebs free from her mind.
"Er, well, um… Tell me about the moment that you figured out that you fancied me."
Harry shrank back slightly at her request, suddenly quite reclusive and sheepish. His free hand went up to rub at the back of his neck as he tried to look at everywhere else except for at her. "Well… I remember thinking about how much of a good friend that you had become to me when I had arrived at the burrow. Dumbledore had just advised me to tell my friends about the prophecy, and I knew that he meant for me to only tell Ron and Hermione about it. But as I was thinking about it, I remember this great desire of wanting to tell you about the prophecy as well. I trusted you with my life, especially after you had fought alongside me at the Department of Mysteries. I had thought that it was only fair that I told you the reason why we had been fighting there in the first place…"
Harry took a deep breath as he thought about how he could phrase his next words carefully…
"I remember missing you during the summer while I was at the Dursleys, and a part of me recognized the excitement of seeing you again. But I don't think that I was really forced to acknowledge my feelings until I saw you for the first time." Harry swallowed heavily, knowing that this would be the hard part. "When you came in, all worked up over Fleur, I didn't even recognize you right away… You looked so different."
Ginny seemed rather shocked by his admission, and Harry wondered whether he was treading on thin ice... "You were so stunning, especially in anger, I found that all that I could do was stare at you. Even when you had said hello to me, I was so speechless that I couldn't manage to muster a response to you! I felt like a complete idiot when I finally realized that it was you. I mean, you didn't look so different that you didn't have your familiar traits... After you left, though, I started to panic. Not only was I worried about what Ron would think, but you could say that I was in a bit of shock from the onslaught of feelings I suddenly was forced to face…"
Harry's face coloured as he thought about what had happened next… the part where Hermione had caught him rubbing one out to thoughts of Ginny… and he decided to keep that tidbit of information out of his telling to Ginny. "Then, er, I had kicked Ron and Hermione out, telling them that I needed to change, but really I just needed to be alone for a while. But Hermione had come back in a bit later, and I had blurted out that I fancied you to her. It was saying it out loud to her that really got me to accept my feelings for you, and I got really excited because I thought that you had still fancied me at the time. I wanted to run downstairs and ask you out, but I had wanted to look nice while doing it. I started digging through my clothes and thinking of ways to flatten my hair!"
Ginny giggled out at that, and Harry was glad to see that she hadn't been upset with him, He was happy to see that she didn't think that his fancy for her was only because of her looks or any other superficial reasons.
"But Hermione had stopped me…" Harry continued. "Told me that you had moved on with Dean. I originally thought of ways to try and get you to break up with Dean, but Hermione had called me out on that, saying that it was wrong. And she was right. So, the only thing that I could do was to try and show you that I was worth fancying again, and hope to Merlin that you would pick me."
Ginny sighed, a wistful gleam in her eye. "Like I said before… If you had asked me out that very day, I would have broken up with Dean just to be with you."
Harry chuckled dryly as he thought of all of the time that had been wasted. "It sure would have saved me a lot of jealousy over Dean, that's for sure." Harry confided. "That first day on the train, I had wanted so badly to sit next to you… You honestly don't know how happy I was to see you in the Slug Club. But after your fight with Dean on the train, I thought for sure that you would have remembered the promise that you had given me about reconsidering, and break up with him. I was so giddy, anticipating that you were going to break up with Dean so soon, and that it wouldn't be long before I could try and convince you to fancy me again…"
Ginny smiled apologetically at him. "And then you find me snogging him behind that tapestry…"
Harry nodded, frowning at the memory. "When I saw him… holding you… kissing you in that way… well, it quite literally knocked the air out of my lungs. I had thought for sure that you were going to break things off with him, that I felt rather blind-sided seeing you and him in that position."
Ginny sighed, looking down at her feet. "I'm sorry that you had to see that. It must have been hard…"
Harry shrugged off her sympathy. "It's not as though I didn't deserve it… I mean, I had had my chance, but I had rejected you. From your point of view, I would never develop any sort of feelings for you."
Ginny nodded. "It's true. I did think that. It was why I had acted so strangely after I had brought you to the hospital wing…"
Harry looked at her curiously, and Ginny knew that she had to explain in further detail. "Well… You see, it was in the hospital wing where I realized that my 'buried feelings' for you, weren't all that buried… I realized then that I still fancied you, and that scared me more than I could handle at the time. It was the real reason why I hadn't visited you while you were in the hospital wing… and why I was trying to avoid you. I had hoped that some distance away from you would give me the time to get rid of the feelings. I had thought that they would be the ruin of our friendship. It was part of the reason why I hadn't broken up with Dean right then… Because at least with him still around, I could use him as a distraction from my resurfacing feelings towards you… But, of course, that plan didn't last very long."
Harry let out a bit of an uneasy laugh at that. "Well, that is sort of my fault, actually…"
Ginny looked up at his with puckered eyebrows, and Harry told her all that had happened after being gifted with the Resurrection Stone from Dumbledore. How Slughorn had come to Dumbledore's office in the morning, unknowingly interrupting Harry's reunion with his family, and invited Harry for some tea in his office. And, at Sirius' prodding, snatched a vial of Felix Felicis from the giant cauldron full of it when Slughorn was tending to the tea...
"I took the potion when I got back to my dorm, and Ron kept an eye on me while I was under its influence. It was the liquid luck that told me to pass out the blueberry muffins. And later, Felix told me to take a walk with Ron outside while under my invisibility cloak…"
Ginny gasped, dropping his hand. "Then it was you! You were the one that had cursed Dean that day…!"
Harry bit his bottom lip and nodded sheepishly. "Yeah… I'm sorry if that upsets you…"
Before he even finished, Ginny was shaking her head on the contrary. "No. I would rather say that I was relieved that the bugger was cursed off of me."
Harry let out a sigh of relief then. "I had thought that you would be offended or miffed that I had led you to believe that I wasn't the one to curse him. From my perspective, I had thought that you were already angry with me when you hadn't visited me in the hospital wing..."
Ginny shook her head, putting her other hand on top of one of his. "No… If anything, you were too perfect… You were so kind and understanding towards me all of the time, and you seemed to know the right things to say or do to make everything right in my life. And realizing this terrified me.." Ginny took a deep breath and let it out in a shuddering sigh. "Harry… I've pined after you for years…!
Sure, it first started out as a silly crush, but after the chamber…" Ginny shuddered at her own mention of her childhood trauma. "...after the chamber, my feelings for you changed. Into something more real. Before I was awestruck because you were the boy-who-lived. But after you had saved my life, you became Harry… the boy who cared so much for others, that he was willing to sacrifice his own life in order to save a foolish girl from a diary…"
Harry grabbed for her hand once again, imploring her to look at him silently with his eyes. When she finally did, he spoke. "Gin… You weren't foolish."
Ginny shifted her eyes away, and bit at her lip, once again pulling her hand away. "Yes I was, Harry." She whispered, with guilt ridden so heavily in her demeanor. "I don't think that you understand that I poured my heart and soul into that stupid diary. I told Tom everything. Especially everything about you. It was more than easy enough for him to claim me, because I had willingly let myself open up for him to corrupt me. I was so naive, I had thought that he was my friend."
Ginny let out a shuddering breath. "I consider myself lucky every single day that no one had died because of my foolishness. Could you imagine if Hermione hadn't had that mirror? Or if Colin hadn't been looking through his camera lense? They could have been killed because of my decisions."
"But they weren't. And even if someone had been killed, it still wouldn't have been your fault." Harry told her, passionately. "Stronger wizards would've fallen to Tom's influence much faster than you had. Dumbledore had told me that, himself."
It still didn't look as though Ginny quite believed the words that Harry was telling her, but she didn't vocally argue against them. They sat in silence for a long moment, both lost in their own memories of the Chamber of Secrets… and how the experience had both changed them irrevocably.
"You know…" Ginny finally spoke up, her expression telling Harry that she seemed uncertain whether she should even say anything at all. "I sort of resented you for ignoring me after the chamber..."
Harry's head snapped up, looking at her with wide eyes. Ginny wasn't looking at him, however. Instead she was staring down at her hands with an uncertain expression on her face. "But then, I would feel ridiculous. I mean, you saved my life! You didn't owe me anything past that.. But... I don't know, I guess I just wanted to know that you cared about my well being. That you were actually glad that I was still alive, and not just because I was Ron's little sister, but because you actually considered me to be your friend."
Harry was silent, even after she finished speaking, he stared at her. Ginny still hadn't met his eyes, and all the while, Harry's thoughts were racing a mile a minute.
He hadn't realized the damage he had done by merely not speaking to her after the chamber... Looking back, he had dismal excuses for not being there for her.. He should have been there... to work through their shared experience in the Chamber of Secrets together.
"I should have been there for you..." Harry whispered, his eyes now focused on nothing in front of him.
Ginny's gaze snapped up to him, her eyebrows knitted.
"I-I don't know why I wasn't... I guess the only excuse that I have was that I was only a boy then. And that I was too focused on how I felt through the experience that I hadn't really stopped long enough to spare any thoughts for yours." Harry's eyes now focused on her and their gazes connected. On impulse, Harry reached forward and clasped her hand in his. Ginny automatically squeezed his palm tight in hers. "I'm sorry."
A stray tear leaked from the corner of Ginny's eye and she hastily went to wipe it away, before smiling softly at him. "It's alright, Harry. You don't have to apologize. I was just telling you how it was that I used to feel. I don't feel that way anymore. Not after I got to know you a little better, and I began to understand why it is you acted that way..."
Harry frowned slightly, a perplexed expression straining his features. "What do you mean?"
Ginny sighed and got up from her seat at her separate desk, and went up and stood in front of Harry. Harry looked up at her, still with questions in his eyes behind his spectacles.
"Scoot back." Ginny told him, and he moved his chair back, just with enough room for Ginny to sit herself down sideways on his lap.
Harry nearly startled when she plopped herself down on top of him, as though it was her rightful place - before he realized that it actually was. Harry smiled shyly up at her and wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her closer.
Ginny smiled back at him, before leaning forward and pressing her forehead against his. A warmth grew from where they touched, and Harry found himself sighing in contentment, closing his eyes at the wonderful feeling.
"Harry... what I meant was that you have difficult time of letting people get too close to you.." Harry's eyes snapped open, and he found the extremely close brown eyes of Ginny Weasley boring straight into his. But her words were still reeling in his head, and it was enough for Harry to jerk his head back in surprise.
"Wh-What do you mean 'a difficult time'?!" Harry found himself sputtering.
Ginny laughed a tinkling laugh - that caused Harry to melt a bit at the noise of it - before grabbing his head and pulling his forehead flush against hers once again. "Surely you've noticed, Harry. For the longest time, the only two people that you've let in completely were Ron and Hermione. I mean, there is a reason why people call you 'The Golden Trio', and that's because you guys are so exclusive that it's difficult for anyone else to be let in. Nor have you guys really showed any desire of letting anyone in with your group... Sure, you still have other friends, like Neville, Luna, even Fred and George. But you always keep them at arms-length. Even with me, you've only ever let me in fully during these past few months... when I've been trying to break down your walls for years!"
Harry's frown deepened, not liking what he was hearing all that much. Ginny sighed, seeing his distaste of her words, and pressed her hand against his cheek, running her thumb along his cheekbone. "I'm not saying that it's a bad thing, Harry. It's just something that I noticed about you, is all. It's honestly best if you remain cautious, anyways... With the war looming - and especially what happened with Barty Crouch Jr. - it's good to be suspicious of people's true motives. Which is why I never discouraged you from spying on Malfoy and suspecting he's a Death Eater. But I can't help but think... that maybe there is a reason why you do this - not letting anyone in.. And I think that it all stems back to those muggle relatives of yours..."
Harry tensed at the mention of the Dursleys, hating the unpleasant feeling he got in the pit of his stomach whenever they entered his thoughts.
"You never talk about them..." Ginny whispered, her eyes now looking sad. "And this is not me saying that you have to, but I'm just letting you know, that if you do want to talk about them to me, I'll be here to listen. Anytime and any place, Harry."
Harry swallowed heavily and gave a jerky nod, the action causing his glasses to go askew on his nose as they rubbed against Ginny's face. "Th-Thanks, Gin. It's nice to know that someone wants to listen..."
"A lot of people want to listen, Harry. They are just too uncomfortable to ask you because they feel that it isn't their place."
They were silent for a long moment after that, each in their respective thoughts, until Harry spoke up.
"I'm ready to say one thing..."
Ginny arched an eyebrow in curiosity, her expression encouraging him to continue.
"I don't want to spend another summer in Privet Drive..."
...
Harry was wandering. Looking out for any books that caught his eye and looked promising. Which was no easy task, seeing as all of the books in the Restricted Section of the library looked just as old as the next.
Harry sighed underneath his invisibility cloak. Perhaps it would have been much easier if he had brought Hermione along with him… She had a much better eye for what sort of books would be most useful to them.
It was well past curfew though, and his friend deserved to have a night of rest after all of the help she was lending him in his research.
It was long past his shared detention with Ginny. It was hours before when he had walked her back up to Gryffindor tower after they had been released by Professor Flitwick.
Suddenly, a rather large book had managed to catch his eye. It was just as ancient looking as the rest, but the reason why it had looked promising to Harry was because it was written by Merlin, himself.
Lifting up the invisibility cloak enough for him to reach up and slide the book from its place on the bookshelf, Harry first peered at the title.
Ancient Spells for the Powerful Wizard written by Merlin Emrys
Harry ran his hand over the cover of the book with a spark of hope. Resurrecting the dead had to be an ancient spell, right? And if any wizard could find a way to bring back the dead, it had to be the powerful Merlin, right?
"Mr. Potter!" A sharp tone sliced through the air, startling Harry enough to cause him to drop the heavy book in his hands.
Harry whipped around, his cloak merely hanging off of his shoulders, to see a severely stern Professor McGonagall staring at him - her arms crossed and her posture ramrod straight.
Harry felt his heart freeze before it dropped all the way into his stomach. "P-P-Professor…! Fancy seeing you here…"
McGonagall did not seem the tiniest bit amused by the forced nonchalant comment Harry made regarding both of their presences in the Restricted Section.
"Mr. Potter," Professor McGonagall began in a short tone. "Do you have any idea of what time it is? And to find you in the Restricted Section, of all places, after hours!"
Harry could only stare at her in horror. What was there that he could say? He was in the wrong and they both knew it. It didn't matter how much Professor McGonagall liked him as a student and as Gryffindor captain… she was sure to neglect showing favoritism and punish him as she would anyone else.
When he still hadn't managed to say anything, McGonagall let out a heavy sigh and suddenly looked rather regretful. "I have half a mind to assign you dentention from the next quidditch match, Mr. Potter…"
"No!" Harry pleaded, both knowing that his pleas would do nothing to change anything, and that this punishment hurt McGonagall just as much as it hurt Harry.
"Now, Minerva…" The familiar, aged voiced said from the shadows. Both Harry and McGonagall turned to see Professor Dumbledore step from the shadows behind Harry…
Harry gaped at the Headmaster, wondering at his sudden appearance. But Dumbledore merely smiled at the two of them, as though it was completely normal to be roaming the library in the middle of the night. "Let's not be too hasty. It is my fault that Harry is out of bed at this time of night. I'm afraid that we had to postpone our training to a later time, because Harry was serving a detention with Filius earlier in the evening."
Dumbledore clasped his hands together as he finished his explanation, and Harry was left to marvel at how the Headmaster was trying to get Harry out of trouble.
"Albus," McGonagall said, shocked. "Do you not realize how late the hour is? Mr. Potter does have classes tomorrow morning."
Dumbledore nodded gravely at this point, before supplying his own. "Yes, I do realize that. But with the war looming closer to our very borders, one cannot be too cautious in this time of temporary peace. I feel that preparing Harry here for what is to come is worth a couple hours of lost sleep."
This reasoning didn't quite agree with McGonagall, but she found that she had nothing to argue against it. "I suppose…" Her Scottish accent even more thick with her resignation.
Dumbledore nodded slowly and smiled at his colleague. "But I do suppose that you are right. It is getting rather late, and I suppose that Harry here has been longing for his warm bed for hours, now."
They both looked to him for a response, and Harry could only nod speechlessly in agreement.
Dumbledore's eyes twinkled, before he turned to McGonagall. "I will see to it that Harry here gets up to Gryffindor tower without any trouble."
Professor McGonagall pursed her lips, staring at Dumbledore with a critical eye, before finally conceding. "Oh, alright, Albus. But please do not dwell for too much longer. Remember that the boy does need his sleep."
Dumbledore nodded, his pleasant smile still etched on his aged face. With that confirmation, Professor McGonagall took her leave and Harry wondered whether she was relieved that she didn't have to ban Harry from quidditch as much as he was.
As soon as she was gone, Harry let out the breath that he had been holding and turned to his mentor, gratefully. "Thank-you, Professor. Merlin knows that I could go without another detention…"
Dumbledore looked at him with his eyes sparkling with amusement. "Ah, yes. I had heard that Professor Snape had assigned you a detention, as well."
Harry couldn't hide the intense dislike that he felt for the slimy git from his face. "He gave me detention for merely holding Ginny's hand! Though he did not give Ginny the same punishment, not that I wanted her to get detention, but still…!"
Dumbledore's eyes lost their glimmer as he listened to Harry's complaints. "You best not think about it all too harshly, Harry. I think that Professor Snape comes from a place of a broken heart…"
Harry looked at him curiously, and Dumbledore sighed. "You and Miss. Weasley together, reminds him of your mother and father when they were together in school, I believe."
Harry gaped at his mentor as he listened to his explanation. And was once again reminded of the disgusting obsession Snape had for his mum… Harry shuddered at the thought, before piping up once again.
"But, Sir…" Harry stressed. "That is no reason to give me detention…!"
Dumbledore nodded in agreement. "I agree, and that is why I'm revoking your detention with him. But I must ask that you try to not provoke Professor Snape, Harry. There are only so many times that I can get you out of trouble with him without Severus feeling that I am biased towards you."
Harry wanted to argue further, but who was he to bite the hand that had gotten him out of two detentions in the matter of minutes? So, Harry sighed and nodded regretfully. For the Headmaster, he could try to be on good enough terms with Snivellus.
Dumbledore smiled at him with pride, before stating, "You best be off now, before I managed to get on Minerva's bad side by keeping you up any longer…"
Harry nodded, and donned his cloak over his head once again, and quickly made his way out of the library, not wanting to mess with fate any more than he had tonight, and end up running into Filch.
It was only after he had gotten into bed, when he realized that he had forgotten to grab the book that he had initially been in the Restricted Section for in the first place…
…..
It was early the next morning - long before Ron would even dare to crack open his eyes - where Harry was quietly casting a silencing charm on his bed curtains.
His eyes were still heavy with sleep and his unmanageable hair was even more ruffled than usual. But he still clasped in his hand the chain that held Resurrection Stone on the end, and put the chain over his head - making sure that the stone was touching his skin underneath his pajama shirt.
Despite Harry's tiredness, he still beamed at the sight of his parents and Sirius appearing before his eyes. Even after an entire month of having them in his life, he still couldn't get over the exuberant feeling of seeing them every time that they appeared.
But apparently, the feeling wasn't shared... as Harry was quick to notice.
His dad and Sirius both had somber looks to their faces... which was a quite surprising and odd expression to see, as Harry had never seen this look on either of their faces before. While his mum looked quite determined, but still had a lingering sadness in her eyes.
"What's wrong?" Harry asked immediately, sitting up from his place on his bed and drawing his legs in to sit crossed-legged on the downy mattress.
There were dozens of warning alarms going off in his head as he looked at each one of them for answers. He had been ready for them to tease him about his new relationship with Ginny, before congratulating him while Sirius and his dad would start to lecture him about sex...
To say that being met with the opposite reactions was rather surprising to Harry, to say the least.
His mum, his beautiful mother, smiled slightly at him before reaching forward and clasping his hand in both of hers. Her hand was just as cold to the touch as every other time. It came with the territory of being dead. It was a fact that Harry tried to ignore, just as he ignored the fact that they couldn't feel it when he touched them.
"Harry..." His mum started out slowly. "Your father and I talked it through, and we got Sirius to agree..." She trailed off at the disgruntled huff that came from Sirius. Both Harry and Lily's eyes went to look at him, and saw a rather annoyed, albeit resigned, expression on his face now. Lily bit her lip nervously, before her eyes trailed over to fixate on Harry's face. "Well, we think that you should stop searching for ways to resurrect us."
Harry's jaw dropped as a feeling of unpleasantness overcame him.
"Wh-What?!"
His mum shifted nerve-riddled eyes to his dad, who sighed and leaned forward to wrap his arm around Lily's waist. "Now, Harry..."
"No! I won't give up! Why would you even ask that of me?! Do you think that I like being an orphan? That I enjoy watching as people die around me?! For once, I would like to see life brought back into my life, rather than taken away!"
"But you're becoming obsessed!" His mum pointed out, passionately. "You're letting the research consume your life when you should be focused on trying beat Voldemort. But you've been so distracted by researching resurrection, that you've even let it get you into trouble… on multiple occasions."
Harry was quiet as he stared at her.
"You don't even pay attention in classes anymore, because you are too fixated on the book you are secretly reading on your lap." She continued, her voice passionate but tired at the same time. Almost as though she were forcing the words out for his sake.
Harry didn't even realize that tears had escaped from his eyes until they were trailing down his cheeks. "B-But don't you guys want to be with me…? Don't you want to be my family?" He said the words so quietly, that any living person would have to strain their ears in order to hear it.
His dad reached forward and rested his large hand on Harry's shoulder, comfortingly. "Of course we want to be with you. And we still are. No matter if we are living or dead, we will always be your family, Harry. Nothing, not even the grave, can change that."
Harry couldn't find any words to say on the matter. He wanted to scream at them all. Tell them that he wasn't going to give up… But they were right in a sense… he had been forgetting his responsibilities in favor of researching ways to bring his family back from the dead. What would happen if he wasn't prepared enough when he finally faced Voldemort? Surely, Harry would be killed. But what then? What would happen of Remus? The Weasleys? Fear clutched at his heart as he thought of what would happen to Ginny…
When he had been silent for a long moment, it was his mum that cleared her throat, thinking that he had silently agreed that abandoning his research was for the best. "So… Tell us all that has happened with your newfound girlfriend…" She said, conversationally.
And Harry told them, but he found that none of their hearts were as into it as it would have beforehand….
- 33
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Rejection: A Double-Edged Sword