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The Nothing I've Become (Areas of Expertise II)	By : SickPuppy Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Harry/Snape Views: 18635 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

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To celebrate Jilliane finally getting her computer sorted, I'm posting the second part of the author's notes - cos I think she's the only one who reads em anyway!

This is for all of you. Yes, YOU!

SP

The Boring Author�s Notes � Part Two

The notes are split into two for a few reasons:

1 � they�re so long!

2 � I like things to be neat, so would rather end with 35 chapters than 34 (geek!)

3 � As can be seen, the most important chapters happen slap bang in the middle of the story (pure fluke!)

Chapter Eighteen � All this time, I can�t believe I couldn�t see

Some of the things Harry remembers are taken directly from Areas I so if they seem a little familiar, that�s why!

I also am not entirely happy with Harry describing Sapphire�s death. It should be more painful than it is.

This was dedicated to Mixed-Up as, God love her, she�s been waiting for Harry to get his memory back since the first chapter!

This chapter starts a series of chapters that actually cover very little time.

Chapter Nineteen � Kept in the dark, but you were there in front of me

This starts less than ten minutes after the other on ends.

The big metaphor thing came from nowhere, but I rather like it, and was glad that people understood that Severus was always there to hold Harry up.

Chapter Twenty � I�ve been sleeping a thousand years

This chapter takes place at the same time as chapter nineteen. Obviously people spotted the fact that Severus and Harry were linked.

I had such problems getting the formatting working to show the two different �voices� in the dream section. In my original one, they were right aligned for Sev, but AFF wouldn�t let me do it, so that�s why they�re centre aligned.

In my original idea, Severus actually went with Harry to the lake and pulled the crystal out of it to show him (in that version Sapphire�s ashes were in there, until I remembered that Sev had left Hogwarts before Sapphire was buried!)

This is one chapter where the title is incredibly appropriate!

Chapter Twenty-One � It seems got to open my eyes to everything

This takes place immediately after the end of the previous chapter. And yes, I was incredibly lazy this chapter � using the opening of Areas I to remind the reader of all that�s changed. This was where Harry was supposed to read the diary and get his memories back, but that plot idea died.

And yes, as some reviewers got, Harry�s writhing was the Bond making itself felt. He and Severus needed to consummate their connection (that bit of the Bonding book was correct!)

Chapter Twenty-Two � Without a Thought

Oh God. Yes, my AN for that chapter has prompted a recollection. I was ILL! In fact, even now, a month later, my stomach is still behaving weirdly � weight wise it�s great as I�m losing loads, but I�m not convinced it�s good for me!

And this chapter picks up immediately after the last one � so much writing, so little time covered!

Chapter Twenty-Three � Without a voice, without a soul

Again, picks up where the previous one left off!

As it says in the chapter AN, I�d forgotten something important � yes, the HORCRUXES! I had to do some serious thinking to get them all destroyed in a short space of time.

The hidden information in this chapter was:

Snape went to Umbridge�s office (where one horcrux is kept)

Snape went to Gringott�s around the same time as there was a horcrux stolen

Snape knows about the horcruxes (which he learnt from Dumbledore)

Chapter Twenty-Four � Don�t let me die here

And still the immediate continuation of the story goes on!

All of those sick noises were easy to write as all I had to do was remember the noises I�d made when I�d been ill! Sorry if they were a bit too grim!

And poor Harry, having to see Sev suck Voldie�s dick!

Ah, the riddle. A bit of a cheat on this one:

�What is the start of the train � the letter T (first letter of The and Train)

The very centre of alight � either I or G

The letter that links target and aim � the letter a

and half of a rat but no parasite?� � ra (half of �a rat�)

Thus, TIARA

Chapter Twenty-Five � Bring me to life

You�d think, given this is the title of the song I used, that this would be a key chapter! And, it kinda is. They do find the diadem after all.

It was at this point that I worked out that the story wouldn�t neatly fit into the thirty chapter titles I�d worked out, so I had to divide the remaining titles to create extra ones! GAH!

This opens about five minutes after the previous one.

Originally, this chapter was structured differently. You knew Harry and Ron had escaped the room before Voldemort appeared. I changed it to up the tension.

And, Ron in this chapter was green as he had been jealous of Harry�s worry over Hermione (I was still working on Ron being deeply envious of Harry and Hermione, which, given those two, is patently ridiculous!)

Chapter Twenty-Six � Wake me up inside

I consulted the Lexicon to check how a Horcrux was destroyed, but it didn�t say! So I had to try and remember what was said in DH.

This is about five minutes after the other chapter (so, lots happening in a short space here!)

The reason Snape can�t feel Harry is because he has closed his mind to outside probing because of Voldie being near, however, Harry can pick up bits of Snape cos Severus projects what he wants V to see, and Harry is able to sneak in and see Sev�s thoughts. Confused?

Ron pipes up when he does because Hermione has just congratulated Harry for being smart, and Ron wants her to pay attention to him.

And this is a personal first � I actually managed to put those three little words into a story!

Chapter Twenty-Seven � Call my name

(For sycophants everywhere!)

This one has a bit of a pause in it, about twenty minutes, before it carries on. Still, this is all building towards the ending.

I also realised I�d painted myself into a corner here, as there was no way Harry could defeat Draco to be the legal owner of the wand. Luckily, upon re-reading the relevant chapter of Areas I, I worked out that I don�t say which wizard disarmed Albus. So, in my story, it�s Severus who does it.

And I�ve only just spotted how aptly the title fits that last line. DOH!

Chapter Twenty-Eight � And save me from the dark

Hmm, this really is half JK�s chapter. I tweaked a few bits to fit Harry thinking of Severus rather than Ginny (YUCK!) but much of it is word for word what she wrote.

And Ron finally gets his moment to shine!

I�ve just realised how many chapters I end on cliff hangers. Oops! How have you all not killed me?

Chapter Twenty-Nine � Bid my blood to run

I had to invent reasons to keep away from the Sev/Harry part of the story as long as possible, which is why the Malfoys put in an appearance, and the DA. And yes, this is where Harry gets pregnant. And no, I haven�t worked out the logic of how!

Chapter Thirty � (I can�t wake up)

As mentioned in my AN for this chapter � a new idea was bubbling (two, in fact). One was Lentesco. The other is still waiting to be written!

Hmm, I�m not really sure Harry�s logic works about the Elder Wand. Still, it meant that snake face died, so I�m going for it! I really struggled to explain that part as clearly as I could without being monotonous or without leaving too much unsaid.

And finally, there is an end to the chapters that follow one another without pause. A break of several hours occurs in this one, as I really didn�t want to have to describe everything that happened after Voldie�s death.

Chapter Thirty-One � Before I come undone

This chapter (Hermione�s portion of it) was written ages before the story was finished. I had to go over both stories and pull out all the Bonding stuff I�d created and check that what she was saying fitted with it all. Nearly drove me mad!

In the original, they were on a sofa and Harry thought Snape didn�t care, but with the injury, the Hospital Wing became the logical place.

And yes, my apologies, for using the �brat� �git� comments instead of �I love you�. If you�ve read my other stuff, you know I have problems with those three words!

Chapter Thirty-two � Save me from the nothing I�ve become

I always knew the last chapter would feature the title. I also knew very early on that Harry and Sev�s child would be called Hope, cos it�s definitely appropriate, no?

I hope others liked Hermione�s dedication, cos I wanted to end this on a bit of a cheerier note than Areas I ended on! And, after all, if you�ve got this far, you deserve some cheering up, as it�s been 75 chapters (43 for Areas I, 32 for Areas II) to tell this story! 75?! HOLY SHIT!

If anyone cares, (which I doubt!), they have another girl, then a boy. Oh god, I�m thinking about writing that part of their story! NO! Someone stop me!

General notes:

The original story idea (a lot changed during the writing!):

Snape walks with a limp � he was punished by Voldie for failing to complete the Bond.

Harry has forgotten everything that happened the previous year. His mind has completely locked down. He believes he got together with Ginny � and Ginny doesn�t disabuse him. His friends try to help him remember, but have been warned that it�s dangerous. It may be an effect of the failed Bond, or it may be Harry protecting his sanity, as they finally realise that he protected himself after the attack by Voldie.

He knows Snape killed Dumbles and wants revenge. He doesn�t go back to Hogwarts, instead he lives wild and causes mayhem at Hogwarts, trying to get revenge on Snape. Hermione hides with him, Ron returns to Hogwarts to protect Ginny and the rest of the DA.

Eventually, Harry is caught by Snape in his office � he doesn�t know how he was able to get in, he just knows that he does know how to. Snape tries to apologise for the previous year, for Sapphire, but Harry isn�t interested. He is about to cast Avada K when their eyes meet and everything comes back.

The failed Bond makes itself known and Harry collapses. Sev rushes him to Pomfrey, she does what she can, but all Harry keeps murmuring is �Sapphire�. Sev visits Sap�s grave and comes back, showing Harry the memory in the pensieve. Harry feels Sev�s grief over the loss of their daughter and slowly his mind begins to heal.

Harry is kept hidden as otherwise Voldie would have killed him. Snape limps away, and finally Harry asks why he does � he remembers Sev limping on that night but realises it should have healed. Sev tells Harry about V�s displeasure, and the risk he runs keeping Harry here. Harry asks why he does. Sev answers �No one deserves to suffer as you have done.� He explains the truth about Dumble�s death. And why he worked for Dumbles all those years.

Harry gets better, and they become closer. He is about to leave, realising how dangerous his presence is for Sev, when Voldie learns he�s there (thinks Harry�s just invaded Hog) and the Battle begins.

Harry stands at Sev�s side, refusing to let him be hurt. Voldie is angered to see Harry so well (he�d heard the boy had been destroyed by the Bond) and that he has sided with Sev. Voldie is about to kill Sev, but Harry stands in the way, his wand dropped, ready to sacrifice himself for another. The spell backfires, and the story follows DH �King�s Cross�

The story ends. Sev and Harry can�t Bond, but they change their names at the ministry. They live together in seclusion, with their children. (Sex dreams during story, only sex is at end.)

Thoughts: I�m not as gutted at finishing this as I was at ending Areas I, purely cos it�s not so damned depressing! I think Sev and Harry have earned their �happy ever after�. I just need to carry on with Lentesco, and think about my next story � which is angsty and quite cruel in places.

As always, dear reader, without you this would not have happened. Truly, without reviews, writers think no one is interested, and quickly become despondent. We are an egotistical lot!

From the bottom of the frozen lump that serves for my heart, I thank you!

Sick Puppy

(affsickpuppy@yahoo.com)
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The Nothing I've Become (Areas of Expertise II)