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"Why Me?"	By : SpeedyTomato Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male Views: 88152 -:- Recommendations : 4 -:- Currently Reading : 8
Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter and make no money off this work of extreme insanity.

Chapter List
- 34
- 35
- 36
Beta'd by the amazing Tenchi. Love you, woman, you're the best!

With help from Lynn who works with me when it comes to flow, continuity and other issues.

Just a reminder of what's on my profile; reviews complaining or whinging about the lack 'o sex in stories will get deleted. If you want a smut-filled romp, you need to find another story to read.

Chapter 35:

Dognip!

As Sirius watched Harry playing with Lucifer, he couldn't help but grin. Oh yes, there was something off with that cat, no doubt there, but at times like this it was fun to observe. The two were batting a ball back and forth between them while Vlad seemed like he was chasing it, humming loudly as he did. It was a riot. Harry was seated by him and Lucifer was perched on a stool by Lucius at the head of the table, so there was a bit of distance for the Puffskein to cover. He was managing, though.
It was lunch time and so far all was calm. That wouldn't last, of course, but he'd relish it while it did.
The morning had gone about par for the course when it came to the house. Snape and Lucius had resumed the Lethifold hunt, with Lucifer helping this time, and had come up with nothing, of course. So, in an attempt to get some kind of help to find a creature that wasn't in the house, Snape had wanted to go see this version of Voldemort to get some advice. Though Remus had tried once more to reason with him, it hadn't worked. So, they had gone. And stayed away for several hours. While Snape had, apparently, received some advice, it also appeared other activities had taken place as well if the genial smile on Remus' face and the hickeys on Snape's neck were any indication, that is. Those he was ignoring and Harry had moaned slightly about therapy again, but they had pressed on.
“How are the boys doing?” Lucius asked, smirking slightly as he watched Lucifer and Harry play, pleased with the change in personality of the cat. As the two continued on, listening to the humming from Vlad get louder, he reached out to pet Lucifer, happy to get a loud purr in response to the stroking.
“They appear like they are fine, Lucius,” Remus told him, smile still firmly in place. “Tom has them minding and isn't allowing them to run amok. From my observations, they appear quite happy and are making friends with everyone that comes and goes.”
“Except for Nagini,” Severus added with an amused snort. “She doesn't seem to like them, but I think that's jealousy. While she's getting plenty of attention from the deranged one, not to mention more sparkling frou-frou added to her each time we go, the fact that the Dark Lord has other pets seems like it's disturbing her.”
“Nothing to worry about,” Remus soothed, seeing an almost panicked look on Lucius' face. After making a placating gesture, he added, “Tom has it under control. Not to mention Gred and Forge are more than a match for her. They not only stay out of her grasp, but tag team her until they can get away. It'll settle. Just a bit of sibling rivalry, nothing more.”
“As long as it's in hand and the lads aren't in danger,” Lucius nodded with a relieved sigh.
“Quite in hand,” Severus told him, looking amused. “The ferrets are more than a match for that deranged, spoiled serpent, as she's finding out.”
“Did you ask if he has anything at all on the readings we sent him from Lucifer? Such as a hint what kind of mix he is? Kneazle is a given, but I'm wondering about what else is tossed in there,” Sirius asked, looking between the two. Though Lucifer was doing better, he still wanted a heads up as to what the hell they were dealing with when it came to the cat.
“He's still looking into it,” Remus told him, sitting his drink on the table. “From what he told us, the kneazle part is twenty-five percent. That's lower than normal, as it's usually around the fifty percent mark. It's the rest that has him confused. Fifty percent of it is neko youkai.”
“What in the hell is neko youkai?” Sirius asked, completely bewildered.
“That's not easily translated,” Severus sighed. “Neko is Japanese for cat. That’s the easy part. Youkai is a tad harder, from how it was explained to us. The closest translation in English is demon. However, it's not the type of demon we know. I think the best way to describe it is a race of Magical beings. They're neither good nor bad, it just depends on what they are. He thinks the youkai is one of the more intelligent ones because of some of what we've described when it comes to abilities. As there are many kinds of neko youkai, he's testing to see if he can narrow it down to a specific type so we can get an understanding of what else might be coming or what to expect.”
“That would help a helluva lot,” Sirius snorted, eyes flitting to the cat. “And the other twenty five percent?”
“That's where the issue is coming in,” Severus told him, also looking at the beast that was ignoring all of them in favor of playing with Potter. “He doesn't know. It's a reading unlike anything he's seen before and it has him baffled. We also looked at the readings and can't remember seeing anything like it either.” Eyes flitting to the cat again, he shook his head then added, “I'm still voting it's straight up demon.”
“We brought home a copy of it and will see what we can ferret out that matches,” Remus added in. “He thinks it might be driving part of it, but the majority of the behavior should be coming from the youkai part. We know what kneazle does and probably strengthens the youkai traits. It's the other that may end up the driving force for part of it. Until one of us can figure out what it is, we're just guessing on what to do.”
Though Sirius grinned and chuckled at Snape's assessment, he nodded as well. “I agree. If his behavior stays like this, it's not a problem, honestly. We can handle it.”
“We can,” Lucius told them, reaching out to stroke Lucifer's head, pleased with the purring in return. Then he changed topics, “Any hints he could give us for the Lethifold hunt? Everything we've tried so far hasn't worked.”
“That's another topic he's taking on researching for us,” Severus assured him. “He was able to come up with something right off the top of his head. Before we left, he passed us a plant to use. From what he knows, it should attract the creature. His suggestion was to lay a path of it from the top floor to the backyard. We'll be better prepared to take the creature on outside in the daylight. So, as soon as we're done here, we'll set about laying the trap.”
“Good,” Lucius said with a determined look. Since the incident with himself, there hadn't been another attack, but it was only a matter of time before the beast did it again. No, it needed eradicated.
“We'll leave that up to the two of you,” Sirius said with a grin, shoulders shaking slightly. “I think the rest of us will avail ourselves of the nice day and muck about in the backyard while you do whatever.”
“A good plan,” Lucius told him, pleased. “If we can get the beast drawn out, it won't find any victims to attack before we can do something.”
A quick glance in Remus' direction showed Sirius his old friend had a bit of a grin on his face as well. Oh well, let the two press on. Eventually they would figure out there wasn't anything to worry about. Until then, it had them focused and helped aid in keeping the house calm. That was perfect after all that had gone on since the bonding.

After laying the anise from the top floor then down the stairs and leading to the back door, the two Slytherins were pleased. There was a good trail that should entice the beast.
“You go out and lay more of the plants towards the Quidditch pitch,” Severus told Lucius. “The pitch is a big enough place with nowhere to hide that we should be fine in taking the creature on there. What I'll do is stay in here and wait for signs of the monster. The elves will help keep an eye out for signs of it as well. If we see something, I'll send the signal we discussed.”
“Yes, I'll tend to that task,” Lucius told him with a determined bent to his voice, picking up the last of the plants. “I'll also ensure that everyone outside stays on the end of the yard with the pool so they aren't drawn in if the beast takes the bait.” After a firm nod from Severus, he swept out to make sure the bait trail was laid properly and he was ready. Yes, the beast would be gone before the day was out if he and Severus had their way.
While the plan was a sound one that would probably work most times, provided there was a Lethifold in the house, there were two spanners in the works neither of the two knew about. The first was that Sirius was outside as Padfoot. He had shifted to muck about with Harry and the cat, providing plenty of chuckles for all of them involved. The second was that anise was the equivalent of catnip for dogs. As what they were using was the Magical version, the effect was more pronounced and longer lasting. Factor in the size of Padfoot and there were interesting side effects to the Lethifold hunt coming.

A long fuzzy whatever in his mouth, something that they had conjured for Lucifer to play with, Padfoot pranced around as the cat chased after him to get it. This was a riot, honestly. All of them were having fun just playing. The psychotic cat seemed like he was enjoying it, meowing loudly, chasing after him. Of course, Sirius made sure that the cat managed to get hold of whatever here and there so it didn't get frustrated then give up. While Vlad wasn't taking part in the pursuit, the Puffskein was perched on Lucifer's head humming away. Even he could tell it was some kind of chase music, probably to urge the cat on.
After several minutes of the chase, he padded back over to where the grinning Harry was seated. Once he dropped the runner of fuzz, he took a deep drink of water from a bowl there. After the cat had taken a drink as well, he listened to Harry's suggestion of chasing a dot of light. That sounded good to him. While it might sound childish to some, he was having a great time with this. It was giving him a chance to stretch his legs and exercise in a way that wasn't driven by blind panic or an emergency of some kind, something he hadn't been able to do for a long time.
Just as Harry conjured the dot with his wand then started bouncing it all over, something that had Lucifer off and chasing it immediately, Sirius spied Lucius coming out. He watched the mental Malfoy patriarch lay down some kind of plant in a trail, looking as though he was heading towards the Quidditch pitch. That was fine too, let him. It meant he stayed out of their hair. After turning his attention back to Lucifer and the red dot, he was off with a happy bark, chasing after not only the cat but the dot.
As the chase meandered all over the side of the yard with the pool, Sirius stopped when he got close to the trail of plants Lucius had laid. Nose twitching, he sniffed deeply. Something in that smell was drawing the instincts of Padfoot. Now ignoring the dot and cat, he padded over then gave a good sniff. Oh, Padfoot loved that. A happy doggy grin on his face, he sniffed again then flopped down to roll in it. Once he was coated in the scent, he ate the plant. The taste was most certainly one that he liked! Bounding to the next plant, he did the same thing then continued on until he had eaten most of the plants that Lucius had laid towards the Quidditch pitch. When he finished he was filled with an energy he hadn't felt since the time he had eaten some mushrooms in the Forbidden Forest. And he felt amazing, something like being drunk without the uncoordination that came with it. It was then he took off with a happy bark, planning to have all kinds of fun.
Remus was trying to keep the amusement out of his tone as he talked with Lucius about the plan he and Severus had put in place. Like Sirius, he was all for letting the two have at it as there was no dissuading them at this juncture. As he listened in, agreeing to whatever Lucius was saying about the plan, his brow furrowed as he watched Padfoot.
Up until this point, the big dog had stuck close to Lucifer playing. Now, though, he was doing plenty of odd bits that had him wondering what was going on. Brow drawn down as he watched Padfoot eating the plants, he was curious just what it was Lucius had laid out. He hadn’t heard Tom mention the name of the plant, though he had been distracted by some of the Death Eaters that were around when he discussed it with Severus so he might not have picked up on it if he did.
When Padfoot finished eating and staggered slightly before taking off so fast he was a big dark blur, Remus asked Lucius, wondering what was going on, “Just what are those plants you laid out?”
“Nothing harmful, I assure you,” Lucius told him with a flap of his hand as he watched Lucifer chasing the red dot towards the end of the yard that was opposite the pitch. “It's just anise.”
Eyes wide, Remus stood and watched as Padfoot blew by them at top speed, barking loudly. “Oh no,” he muttered. Head whipping in the direction where the dog was, he saw Sirius lapping the pool at top speed before taking off after the dot, knocking everything in his way aside in his intent to get the it.
“What?” Lucius asked, eyes drifting to the big dog that had just flattened two chairs that were sitting on the lawn in his intent to get the dot.
“Anise acts like catnip for dogs. And Sirius ate the majority of what you laid out,” Remus stammered, eyes locked on the huge dog that was now headed in their direction at full speed as Harry directed the dot their way.
Before he could say anything that might mitigate the impending crash, Padfoot bowled into both of them going as fast as he could. He was flattened to the ground as the dog plowed into them, the wind knocked out of him. Lucius was sent flying into the pool.
Harry stood, stammering, not sure what to do when Padfoot ran over the two, barking happily. That wasn't normal as Sirius was always careful when it came to mucking around. “What's going on?” He asked, watching Padfoot start to lap the yard, barking loudly, when the red dot he had been controlling vanished.
Though gasping for air, hand pressed to his diaphragm as he stood, Remus managed to get out, “Have Kreacher go get Severus. Tell him we have an issue that we need his help with.” It was his hope that Severus knew some kind of antidote to the anise, because he was sure that chaos was coming if they had to let it wear off. He was certain that the dog in Padfoot had completely taken over. A stoned Padfoot was not what any of them needed to deal with, something he knew from past experience. No, he never wanted to relive that incident again as long as he lived!
Once he sent the elf off, Harry asked, eyes locked on the manic Padfoot, who was now chasing his tail so fast he was a black blur, “What wrong? I mean—this isn't normal.”
“Padfoot is stoned,” Remus moaned, bent over and still trying to get his wind back. “He ate the anise, something that affects dogs like catnip does cats. I'm sure that the dog in Padfoot is completely in charge and stoned out of its gourd.”
“Oh no,” Harry muttered, shaking his head as Padfoot once more began to run, playing with whatever he found, not caring if it was a chair, leaf, whatever.
Just as the sputtering, drenched Lucius joined them after crawling out of the pool, Severus came out, headed in their direction. Unfortunately, he was right in the path of the running, barking Padfoot, who was chasing something or other and Severus, too, was flattened by the massive dog. Sirius didn't seem to notice that he had run over Severus, tearing off and barking happily after whatever it was he was chasing. Remus had a sneaking suspicion, because of what happened the last time Padfoot ended up what could only be termed as stoned, that it wasn't anything any of them could see.
After grabbing Harry's arm, Remus left Lucius to dry himself off then hurried over to Severus. The first thing he did was help his infuriated bondmate to his feet. Then, making sure they were plastered to the house as Sirius was still running madly around the yard, barking his head off, he explained what was going on. Once he finished, he asked, “Any antidote for the anise that you know of, Severus?”
“No,” Severus groused, rubbing a hand over his face and mentally kicking himself for not remembering that was an effect of it and to warn Black. “It has to wear off. Thankfully, that's only a half an hour or so, no matter how much he ate.” This—bloody wonderful! It wasn't something they needed in the scheme of all that was going on.
“Oh, this won't end well,” Remus told him, shaking his head as Padfoot chewed one of the chairs by the pool to bits, sending the stuffing from the cushion flying in all directions. Even worse was the fact that Lucifer had hopped on the massive dog's back and seemed as though he was cheering him on by meowing loudly. He wasn't exactly sure what was going on there, but he was convinced the cat was encouraging the dog.
“We just need to let him have at it until it wears off. That and stay out of his way,” Severus groused, watching the dog now mangle one of the tables that were out there, listening to the demon cat meow loudly from his place on the dog's back. Like Remus, he had an inkling the cat was encouraging this. Whatever magic that cat had was bad enough, they didn't need the creature helping the damned stoned dog!
In the state he was in, Sirius was having a great time. The dog toys he was mangling were fun. Though they were entertaining, he had the urge to dig a hole and bury something. After spying a large blue—well, it looked like one of those stuffed dog toys, though giant size, he decided that was perfect for this mission. Listening to the meowing, something that seemed to sound like 'go ahead', he ran around trying to find the perfect spot for the toy. When he reached an area by the house that was in the corner, he began to dig madly. Because of his size and how big his paws were, it didn't take long to have a hole the size he needed. Once he finished that, he dashed off to where the toy was standing by the big pond thing. While the toy was big, it was no match for Padfoot's size and the dog grabbed it by one of its legs then dragged it over to the hole, enjoying the noises it made. When he got it there, he deposited it in the hole and began to cover it, huffing in amusement at the scream-y noises it made. This was great!
Lucius wasn't really positive what happened, honestly. One minute he was making sure his favorite blue robes were not only dry, but the wrinkles were out of them, before he planned to work on his hair, then the next Padfoot had his leg in his jaws and was dragging him in the direction of a hole. Now, his first thoughts when he saw the dog coming towards him were of the normal sort he had when confronted with Padfoot. That particular obsession was still there and hadn't abated in the least. However, he was now completely panicked when he was dragged across the yard and deposited in the hole then dirt began to cover him. This wasn't right! And he was completely lost as to just what was going on. As far as he could tell, something was off about this.
While dirt was being kicked over him, though his face was being spared other than bits that were tossed there by mistake, he shouted, “Black! What are you doing, man? Have you lost your mind?” Then he ended up with a mouthful of dirt that left him not only disgusted, but sputtering, trying to spit out the foul tasting earth.
“Oh Merlin,” Remus sputtered, eyes wide. “We need to help,” he stammered out, grabbing Severus by the sleeve and dragging him in that direction. Yes, this was a repeat of the 'mushroom incident' where even poor Prongs wasn't safe from the deranged stoned dog and ended up being dragged around by an antler and buried. Which meant they had to save poor Lucius.
When Padfoot finished burying his 'toy', though leaving the head of it uncovered, Lucifer hopped off his back. A smug look on his face, the cat perched right on Lucius face and meowed loudly, tail lashing happily. Vlad, still balanced on his head, seemed as though he was humming a funeral dirge.
Task completed, Padfoot tore off to find something else to do. After spying the pond again, he ran in that direction then dove in, paddling around and barking happily. This was great! And he was having fun.
Though Lucifer didn't seem to want to move from his 'perch', Severus and Remus managed to get him motivated by having Harry bribe him with some tidbits of salmon. Once the cat was removed, they quickly extracted Lucius from the hole. While they helped clean him off, the two were paying attention to what the huge dog was doing.
As he cast every cleaning charm he knew on himself and his robes, Lucius sputtered, “What in Merlin's name is going on? I was buried like a bone!”
Severus quickly explained what was going on, shaking his head while Black thrashed about in the pool, chasing the toys in it. “We just have to wait for it to wear off, nothing we can do.”
“Any lasting effects that you know of, Severus?” Remus asked, making sure Harry was beside him so he didn't get injured in anything that might end up being done.
“Nothing horrific,” Severus sighed, keeping an eye on the dog so they didn't get dragged in more than they had been. “He'll probably be in a great mood for the rest of the day, maybe slightly euphoric from the amount he ingested. That's all. Nothing worse than that.” However, he did have the forethought to send an elf in to remove the rest of the plants from the house. He did not want this cycle to start all over again once the effects waned. One stoned dog incident a day was more than enough for him.
Though this was strange as Sirius was always the one that seemed to avoid the worst of what was going on, it was funny as well. With a chuckle, Harry said, “Well, it could have been worse, you know. He's at least in a good mood instead of snarling.”
“There is that,” Remus chuckled, conjuring chairs for all of them so they could be comfortable while they waited for it to wear off. As long as they stayed out of the way, they would be fine. Sirius would manage to have some fun and none of them would be in danger of becoming a dog toy.

At almost exactly the half an hour mark after Sirius ate the plants, the big dog was finally coming around. With a shake to get rid of the rest of the water from the pool, Padfoot then sauntered towards the door. Sirius was tired and wanted a nap. Though Padfoot was receding, he was still there more than normal and wanted to stay the dog. Since Sirius had no problem with it, he stayed as the dog.
When he got to the three sitting by the house, he looked at Lucifer, who was perched on Harry's lap, and barked. Immediately, the cat hopped on his back and laid down in that style of 'furry meatloaf' so many described. After Lucifer was comfortable, he looked at Harry, tail wagging. He wanted to curl up in bed with Harry for a while.
Since the dog had calmed down, the grinning Harry figured it was safe. After standing, he gave Padfoot a good rub on the head and said, “Come on, let's go inside. Show me what you want to do.”
One happy bark later and Sirius bounded inside, headed for the stairs with the purring Lucifer on his back and Harry following behind.
As he watched them go, waiting until he heard them on the stairs, Severus gave a snort then shook his head. While this bit of insanity hadn't been as bad as most, it was still insanity. And he was wondering about that damned cat! There was something off there that boded nothing good. It meant they had to keep an eye on the creature, that's for damned sure.

While being buried alive by Padfoot was something that was sure to give him nightmares for years to come, Lucius found that he was now content. Since the incident and most of the effects of the plant having worn off, Sirius was able to explain what went on. So, it hadn't been a case of whatever, but the dog thinking he was a toy of some sort. Lucius understood that, to an extent. Whatever bad feeling still lingered was now gone. This particular effect was something he adored. Sirius was in an excellent, if not slightly euphoric mood most of the night. Leading up to bed, it made it quite pleasant. Now, though, was even better.
In his euphoric state, Sirius had become 'cuddly'. Harry was the one on the receiving end of most of it, as was normal. The lad enjoyed it as well, of course. Now, though, he was getting his share. Sirius was asleep, but had rolled over and cuddled up to him, holding him close. And Lucius adored it. A smile on his face, he pressed close to Sirius and wrapped an arm around him, holding him as well. It felt amazing.
Eyes sliding shut, Lucius gave a contented sigh then felt Harry's arm drape over his. The lad was asleep, of course, but it didn't diminish the effects of the touch. Perfect. Within minutes, Lucius fell into a contented sleep, smile on his face.
When he heard his servants' deep breathing, the signal that they were asleep, Lucifer opened his eyes and looked between them. Still purring loudly, something the three seemed to like the feel of as they slept, his tail twitched slightly. This was good. Vlad was by him on the pillow, snoring softly himself. That pleased the demon hybrid. Yes, life was good now that he had those in the house tending to his whims the right way.
Eyes flashing a slight red, the cat then shut them, a smug look on his face. This was going well and he just had to keep pushing it. Nothing more than that. Soon he would have all he wanted and life would be perfect.

A.N.-the idea for this chapter came from Em on Facebook. She mentioned something or other about a cuddly Sirius and my diseased brain took it and came up with this.

Em? You need to RUN!
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"Why Me?"