"Why Me?" | By : SpeedyTomato Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male Views: 88152 -:- Recommendations : 4 -:- Currently Reading : 8 |
Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter and make no money off this work of extreme insanity. |
Chapter 36:
Well, It's Certainly Horn-y!
At lunch the next day, Sirius was just shaking his head as he watched Lucius and Lucifer. He now understood better why Draco was the way he was. If Lucius had done with his son what was doing with the cat, no wonder he was spoiled! At the moment, Lucius was eating, of course, but he was also going through a catalog full of toys and other bits for cats. As he ate, sharing part of his food with the cat as he did, he was letting the beast choose what he wanted, talking softly to the creature while he flipped through the pages. From Sirius' point of view, the cat actually seemed like he understood what Lucius was asking and would respond to questions with a loud meow or put his paw on something in the catalog he wanted. If he calculated right, from what he heard, Lucius was already planning to spend several hundred Galleons on cat whatever and he wasn't all the way through the catalog yet.
With a shake of his head, grinning as Lucius asked the cat about a satin pillow to lay on, only to get a loud hiss and smack on the head with a paw, he then snorted when Lucius agreed to a silk version instead. Bloody hell, that cat was going to end up as spoiled as Draco! After a roll of his eyes, tuning that out, he focused back on Harry as he polished off the last of the food on his plate then sent it to the sink. Harry was eating as well, while Vlad was on his second tomato of the meal. About normal there. As the Puffskein never cause any kind of chaos, he didn't have a problem with it being at the table. Hell, it looked damned cute in that little tux, cape and bat wings.After giving the Puffskein a good scratch, hearing it hum happily as it finished the last of the tomato, he asked, “Anything we need to take care of today?” He didn't think so, but wanted to make sure. As it was a rather grey and rainy day out, he figured there wouldn't be much and they would have to do whatever inside. With the insanity that had gone on yesterday, he planned to snag Harry and hide, hoping nothing absolutely off the wall happened again.“Lucius and I are going to give it another shot with the plant to see what we can manage. So, no shifting,” Severus snorted, shaking his head. They most certainly didn't want a repeat of the day before! Hearing Sirius snort and chuckle, but agree, he pressed on, “Just make sure that the room you're in is clear of the pest with the spell for detection and we'll take it from there. It might take some time to lure the creature out, so put up warding so it doesn’t slip into wherever you are.”Sirius really tried not to laugh at what was said, but knew there was no dissuading the two at this juncture. He wasn't sure what it was about the strange theory here, but both of them had latched onto it and they weren't going to be convinced otherwise. “Harry and I will be in our room. I'll make sure we stay safe,” he said, keeping the chuckle out of his voice, hearing Harry snicker softly as he petted the Puffskein.After sending off the order, something that cost him over a thousand Galleons with express shipping involved, Lucius settled back in his chair, crossing his legs and holding Lucifer on his lap. As he petted the purring cat, he said, “I'll have Lucifer stay up with you. We think it's best to go this alone. No sense in the beast ending up distracted. Severus and I will come up with something to help.”“Yeah, the cat can stay with us,” Sirius told him, grinning just a little as he looked at the psychotic beast.“He should be content.” Lucius assured him, petting the loudly purring cat. “His toys and whatnot should arrive in a few hours. There is more than enough there to keep him occupied and out of mischief.”“We'll manage,” Harry said, putting Vlad on his shoulder and leaning against Sirius. His thought was time alone with Sirius and away from the insanity was needed. With Lucius and Snape occupied, they might get it. Or so he hoped anyway!“I believe I'm just going to take a nap,” Remus chuckled, sipping his tea. “Rainy days are good for those. Quite relaxing.”“Not sure how long this will take, but it could be a few hours. Prepare for that,” Severus told the three, glancing between them. “The elves can handle whatever if you want a snack or something similar. Just stay in the room until you get the all clear. No sense risking an attack if you don't have to.”“We'll be fine, Severus,” Remus assured him, looking amused and shaking his head. Like Sirius, as this point he was all for letting them have at it. He'd tried everything he could think of with Severus and the man was still convinced that there was a Lethifold in the house. The only thing that would probably work at this point was for the two to think that it had escaped or something. Oh well, it kept them occupied and distracted.
As gently as he could, so as not to disturb the sleeping Harry, Sirius turned his godson's hand, which was dangling off the end of the bed, so he could see the instructions for the cat tree he was putting together, something Harry was clutching onto still. All those damned toys and bits came in for Lucifer, so he had taken it upon himself to put some of them together while unpacking the rest. Harry had been helping him, but had fallen asleep on the new pillow Lucius bought for the cat. It was something like what they called a body pillow, though bigger and it stretched out across the whole foot of the bed. Not only did it have a very nice silk ticking, but was filled with the finest down there was. Between how comfortable the pillow was, the rain, humming from Vlad and purring from the cat, Harry had fallen asleep. Not that Sirius blamed him, honestly, as all of the above was affecting him as well. As soon as he finished putting this floor to ceiling cat tree together, he was going to do the same.
After starting on the final section, the platform at the very top of the tree, Sirius glanced over his shoulder at the cat laying there. It was looking plenty smug, sprawled out, front paws crossed, keeping an eye on what he was doing. “You're already spoiled, you know that don't you, Lucifer? I suppose that's what you want though, isn't it? We'll make good servants, won't we? Your goal in this?” He then laughed when the cat let out a loud, smug sounding meow. “I thought as much. Oh well, as long as you keep acting like this, it's good by me.” It was, too.Since the cat had calmed down, they were good. He supposed that he could handle whatever as long as it didn't go evil again. Harry seemed to like him and Vlad got along with the creature. Hedwig would eye the cat, but not engage. He could understand that bit, of course, what with her being a bird and the size of the damned cat.Once the last piece was on the top, Sirius stood with a tired sigh then moved the massive tree over to the wall before double checking to make sure it was all secured right so it didn't fall apart. When he finished, he nodded then told Lucifer, “You're good. It's secure and should be fine. Have fun with it.” He laughed when the cat gave a loud meow, as though the beast was telling him good or something. Shaking his head, he stretched with a groan, moaning when he finished.With a sigh, he was about to crawl in bed by Harry and take a nap. They had been up here for a few hours, having heard nothing from Snape and Lucius about the hunt for the non-existent Lethifold. He figured that meant the two were still chasing shadows and would be busy for quite some time. That was fine as it kept the two of them out of their hair.As he was turning to the bed, about to make his way in that direction, the door to their room flew open with a resounding bang and he was bowled over by Lucius, flattened to the floor, the wind knocked out of him. As he gasped for air, he turned over, holding his diaphragm then looked up. A wild-eyed, fully panicked and ruffled Lucius was actually perched atop the cat tree, crouched down, shaking madly. All right, that was funny as hell.Though he wasn't sure what could have brought this on and was mildly trepidatious about it, he stood, hearing the still groggy Harry ask what was up. With a shake of his head, he asked the actually squeaking Lucius, “What's going on?” As he knew there wasn't a Lethifold in the house, he had to wonder what the two had encountered.Lucius eyed the door, clutching onto his wand with one shaking hand and the platform he was on with the other, he panted out, “We encountered something in the attic. Neither Severus nor I know what it is, but it's terrifying and chased us down here!” Though he wanted to reach out and rub the area on his posterior where the creature had tried to grab hold, wanting to assure himself he wasn't wounded, he didn't. No, he needed to stay alert and keep an eye on the door. He was damned sure the—whatever it was followed them down. Severus was off getting Lupin, as he was the one who knew how to handle odd and dangerous creatures better than them, but it behooved him to stay alert for whatever was headed their way.Wand leveled at the door, making sure Harry had slid behind him, Sirius was now highly wary. Though they thought they had all the pests out of the house, as bad as this place had been, there were probably some still lurking here and there. What kind and how dangerous they were would be anyone's guess. As he backed himself and Harry away from the door, he asked, “Any clue what it is and where did it come from?”“No idea,” Lucius panted, trying to cling to the platform, his own wand trained on the door, hand trembling. “It was in a small room at the very end of the attic. It wasn't something we had seen before, honestly. The door was almost like it was concealed in some way. When we opened it, the room was like a solarium of some kind, filled with plant life.”At first, Sirius was baffled as he didn't remember a room like Lucius described. However, as he heard a humming of some kind and scuffling coming in their direction, he grinned when it clicked. Oh yes, he knew what this 'beast' was. After lowering his wand, seeing a long shadow stretching in front of the door, he snorted, “Nothing to worry about, Malfoy.”“It's terrifying, Black!” Lucius huffed, shaking as the humming grew louder and the shadow approached. Shivering as one paw with huge curved claws was seen, he let out a soft shriek. The beast was coming for them!
All Remus knew when it came to what happened was that he had been soundly sleeping one minute and the next he was dragged out of bed by the waistband of his sleep pants, the only thing he had on. Hauled to his feet, he sputtered as his t-shirt was stuffed over his head, the left armhole trying to accommodate his cranium, then Severus, who was breathing heavily, dragging him out of the room.
“What is going on?” Remus asked, voice muffled by his t-shirt. He was trying to get it adjusted so he could see and breathe better, but Severus had stuffed it over his head in such a way, that his arms were rather pinned. Thankfully, he had his wand. As he tried to employ that to set his shirt to rights, he tripped over something in his bare feet, swearing mildly at his stubbed toe.His own eyes overly large, Severus dragged Lupin along with him while he explained, “Lucius and I encountered some kind of bizarre creature in a locked room. We have no idea what it is, but it followed us. Which means we need help getting rid of it.”Now highly wary as there were plenty of dangerous creatures in the house when they started cleaning, Remus sobered up. Forgetting his stubbed toe and bare feet, he asked, trying to get his shirt on straight, “What kind, do you know? What did it look like?”“We have no idea,” Severus admitted, quickly dragging him along to Black’s room where he planned to meet up with Lucius. “It resembled a sloth of some kind, though it seemed to have this lecherous smile on its face and a short horn on the top of its head, like a unicorn has. We've never encountered anything like it before and could be mistaken in what we saw.”Though Remus was baffled and wary at first, it then clicked and he began to chuckle. “I don't think it's anything to worry about, Severus,” he said, amused, having assumed the creature had died over a decade ago, as they hadn't seen him since Sirius opened the house.“You did not see the claws on this thing, Lupin,” Severus snarled, dragging the werewolf along. Stepping into the open door of Black's room, he pulled up short, eyes widening.Hand clutching his wand tightly, he leveled it at the creature Black was holding, his other hand clutching tightly to Lupin. “That's it,” he muttered, taking in the black and grey sloth-looking—whatever it was. Though his eyes flitted to Lucius, who was perched atop the cat tower on one wall, pale and shaking, he was more concerned with the creature in Black's arms.After finally getting his shirt on right, Remus smiled then walked over to the grinning Sirius and petted the creature clinging to him, which was eating a banana with one long clawed paw. “That's Satyr, isn't it?” He asked, noting how the short unicorn-like horn flashed various shades of yellow, telling him the creature was obviously happy. It was humming loudly as well, another sign it was pleased.“It is,” Sirius confirmed with a grin, rubbing the animals back as it ate the banana. “Father must have set him up with his own habitat in the attic then forgot to mention it before he died. I'm sure Kreacher's been taking care of him all these years as he's a good weight, looks healthy and everything else.” He then shifted the creature over to the grinning Harry, having the animal cling to his godson and passed another banana over for Harry to feed him. “I forgot all about him and assumed he had died.”“What is it?” A more than slightly panicked Lucius asked, still perched on the cat tree, wand trained on the beast. He wasn't sure what to make of the creature and was wary that it was deadly.“A Fertility Sloth,” Sirius told him with a grin, reaching up to rub the unicorn-like horn on the top of the animals head, chuckling as it flashed various shades of yellow. “Father picked him up in South America when we were small and kept him around because they're rare. Nothing to worry about, and he's perfectly harmless, Malfoy.”“A Fertility Sloth?” Severus asked warily, eying the creature. He had heard of those before, but thought them to be a myth. Legend had it that the creatures were gifted with the ability to help relationships work through troubled spots and produce children, if applicable. They were also said to be lecherous in that they liked to grope people and cling, having a smile that spoke of something sexual. However, everything he remembered said they were harmless. From what he read in the past, they were thought to be nothing more than legends, though there were a few photographs of them here and there. Most thought those doctored, though.“Oh yes, nothing at all to worry about, Severus,” Remus assured him, petting the creature's back. “Sirius had pictures of him in school he showed all of us and talked about him.” Giving him a good scratch around the ears, Remus chuckled as Satyr hummed louder, clinging to Harry and looking at him.“You're sure he's safe?” The dubious Lucius asked, eying the creature as he tried to ease himself down off the perch he was on. Foot catching on the platform, he tumbled to the ground, but quickly bounced to his feet, backing away, wand clutched in one hand and smoothing down his hair with the other. “Those claws look rather deadly if you ask me.”“They're for climbing and clinging to trees, Malfoy, nothing more,” Sirius assured him, still grinning at the sloth. “They mostly eat fruit and leaves, though won't turn down insects. That's all, though. Like normal sloths, they're slow, too. And rather lazy. They like to spend their days hanging around and eating, not much more than that.”“If you say so,” Lucius said dubiously, catching Lucifer as the cat jumped into his arms, eying the sloth warily. Petting the cat, he sighed. “What are you going to do with him?”“For tonight I'm going to have Kreacher move his tree down here. He had one that Father brought back with him. It has leaves on it that are like a treat for them. For tonight he'll be fine. Tomorrow, when the rain ends, I'll have the elves put up a habitat for him in the backyard. I'm sure he'll like that. He can hang out there and won't bother anyone.”Harry held the sloth tightly, though the animal was clinging to him, then picked Vlad up off the bed and sat him on his shoulder. Like with other bits when it came to the Puffskein, the humming was something he was convinced he could identify. It sure sounded like the music you heard about from bad porn movies. That made him grin. Petting the sloth, who hummed away himself, watching the unicorn horn flash yellow, he said, “He's rather neat, isn't he? Seems quite happy.”“He's good, I promise. He mostly just likes to cling to you and beg for fruit,” Sirius assured him. Then, having his godson summon Kreacher, he cleared out an area for the tree. It would work for tonight then he was sure Satyr would adore being outside once more.“I don't know,” Lucius said, eyes locked on the creature, shaking his head. “He was trying something as I felt those claws on my backside.”“He was just trying to climb you to get attention, nothing more than that,” Sirius told him, happy to see Kreacher putting the tree, something the size of the cat tower, in place. “I'm sure he's probably not seen another living being other than Kreacher since Father died. That's all. He's good, Malfoy, and won't bother anyone.”“I'll take your word for it,” Lucius finally conceded, still wary of the beast. He supposed he could put up with the animal for one night, though he would feel better once it was outside. At least until he got used to him.After passing Satyr over to Remus, grinning as the sloth clung to the werewolf and took the strawberries offered, Harry said, “He's good. Didn't even dig the claws in when I was holding him.”“We used to play with him when we were little,” Sirius told him, patting Harry on the shoulder. “Never hurt us, no matter how rough we were. He's harmless, just like Vlad. Well, unless you're fruit or leaves that is.”“He's fine,” Remus said with a smile, stroking the sloth's back. “Rather interesting, actually. We heard so much about him, it's nice to finally meet him, as it were.”Arms folded over his chest, Severus shook his head. Well, for once, at least the creature that found them was harmless! Besides, it was interesting to see a beast that was thought to be nothing but a legend.After a few minutes, he snorted then said, “Come, Lucius, we'll go back to hunting for the Lethifold.”Focusing once more, Lucius gave a determined nod. “Right. We're on it.” After giving Lucifer a good petting, he sat the cat down on the pillow then swept out behind Severus. Sloths were one thing, but Lethifolds were another entirely. The latter needed stamped out as fast as they could manage.As he watched the two go, Remus looked amused. “Well, so much for a quiet day,” he chuckled.“This kind of disturbance is the kind I can handle,” Sirius grinned. Shoulders starting to shake, he then chuckled, “And watching Malfoy perched on that cat tower was a riot!”“It was,” Harry laughed, petting the sloth. Right, this was rather brilliant. Sloths, he decided, were pretty cool.
About midnight, as a storm rolled through, the thunder shaking the house as it boomed, Satyr shifted in his tree, humming loudly as Lucifer meowed at him. Eyes focused on the bed, watching the three in it, his horn flashed light red repeatedly, the smile on his face growing. Then he looked at the cat perched on the tree by him and hummed louder.
Lucifer meowed softly, looking at the sloth then to the Puffskein that was humming away on the pillow above the heads of the three men. Yes, the demon hybrid thought the three of them could work out something that would benefit all of them oh so nicely. The sloth could push what was needed and he could easily capitalize on it. The Puffskein—well, it didn't really care one way or another, but would help the two of them. Yes, it could work.A smug look on his face, the demon hybrid gave the humming sloth a rub on the still light red flashing horn then jumped down. Strutting over to the bed, he hopped onto the pillow and curled up by Vlad. Eyes flashing red once, he laid his head down and began to purr. Like what happened up to this point, the three men on the bed responded to it. Good.Smile growing, Satyr hummed a bit longer then shut his eyes. There was much work to do, so he needed more rest than normal.
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