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Lost and Damned	By : danniperson Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Harry/Snape Views: 24087 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, the characters or the world or anything, and I make absolutely no profit from this.

Chapter List
- 36
- 37
- 38
LOST AND DAMNED

Expose What We're Afraid to See

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Of all of the things he had discussed with Hermione in terms of guessing what Dumbledore would be teaching him, what their lessons actually consisted of had never come to mind. He walked in expecting some brilliant Defense lessons, or some strange magical art that only Dumbledore could teach him. Harry wasn't entirely disappointed. Dumbledore showed him a memory, that of a Magical Law Enforcement employee named Bob Ogden. It was a memory of Bob visiting the Gaunt family…Merope, Morfin, and Marvolo. That name alone told Harry the man's identity…As Voldemort's grandfather.

The memories were important, Dumbledore said. Harry supposed he could see why; knowing as much about Voldemort, especially his past, as possible had to be useful, right? Somehow, Harry felt a bit irritated…Thinking that maybe learning a few useful spells and curses might be better suited for destroying Voldemort. He at least had his lessons with Snape, he reminded himself…Even if they took a lot out of him. Occlumency was especially a pain in the ass…He had passed out several times at the end of last year and he didn't even remember anything from their first lesson this year. There were sayings about knowing your enemy, so Harry wouldn't question Dumbledore. He trusted the older wizard…He was the smartest, most powerful wizard anyone knew.

"Sir, am I allowed to tell Hermione everything you've told me?" Harry asked, when the conversation seemed to be drawing to a close.

Dumbledore considered him a moment before answering. "Yes, I think Miss Granger has proved herself trustworthy. But Harry, I am going to ask you to ask her not to repeat any of this to anybody else. It would not be a good idea if word got around how much I know, or suspect, about Lord Voldemort's secrets."

"No, sir, I'll make sure it's just Hermione," Harry explained with a nod. Just Hermione….No Draco, no Snape, no one else. "Good night, sir."

"Hold on, Harry…I only ask a moment more of your time," the headmaster said with a smile. Harry sat back down. "Now…As you may know, I am well aware of your feelings for Professor Snape."

Harry raised his eyebrows, only momentarily and mildly surprised. He knew Snape had told him about…one…of his kisses last year. Dumbledore had had a meeting with him about it, to discuss someone else taking over his lessons since Snape no longer wanted to. Dumbledore had also been there when he had found Snape in the forest…Harry was pretty sure that had made his feelings about the man perfectly clear. Harry shifted nervously where he sat, wondering if he was about to be lectured and told not to molest Snape or something of that nature.

"Erm…Yes, sir."

"You must understand that Professor Snape is a very honorable, brave man…But I'm sure you have figured out by now that getting through to him will be a bit challenging," Dumbledore said.

"Umm…Yeah…" Harry said, feeling more confused than ever.

Dumbledore nodded. "Considering our school laws and the public's general opinion of such matters, should anything happen, you would have to be very discreet. Even without all of the obvious concerns, Severus is a very private man."

"Ummm….Yes…sir?" Harry said, not sure he was understanding correctly.

"Severus will not accept love very easily. However, it seems he has had the fortune of falling in love with a very stubborn young man," Dumbledore said with a smile.

"Er….yeah…sir," Harry said. "So…umm…you want me to…?"

Dumbledore smiled. "As headmaster, I cannot encourage 'inappropriate' behavior between a teacher and a student. However, as an old man concerned about two men he cares about deeply, I must tell you not to give up. Love is a very important and powerful thing, Harry…It could be a very good thing for you both."

This was definitely a dream or something. Last year, when he had kissed Snape, everyone who knew had freaked out a bit. Now Dumbledore was…encouraging him to do something. Harry wasn't sure what, exactly, he was supposed to do. First Hermione, now Dumbledore…It was all very strange.

"Yeah…Yeah, I'll…See what I can do," Harry said.

"Good," Dumbledore said with a smile. "Good night, Harry."

"Good night, Professor."

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While Dumbledore was teaching Harry Potter about Voldemort, the Dark Lord was conducting a meeting of his own. There were a good few of their number missing, due to being caught at the Ministry. They would return when the Dark Lord was ready for them, prepared to let them suffer in Azkaban a while longer as punishment for failing him. It wasn't a horrible punishment…Not when the dementors were on their side and had abandoned the Ministry. The Dark Lord hinted that it would not be long before they would be released. Many were displeased, making many a joke about the uselessness of those who had been arrested, among other things.

He made no mentions of his plans for Draco Malfoy to kill Albus Dumbledore; he didn't trust everyone that much yet. They would eventually know, but for now it was a secret he taunted them with, leaving everyone to wonder who was among the Dark Lord's most trusted. It was an honor, they said, one that you should be proud of. Severus played his part well, but there was something very devastating and sickening in the knowledge that he had somehow become the Dark Lord's new favorite. The disgusted looks Bellatrix Lestrange normally sent in his direction were now filled with hatred and envy. If Severus didn't need his position, he would have gladly given it to her. He wanted no part in these games. No part in any of this, but there was little choice.

This had been his goal since he learned that the Dark Lord was going after Lily and her family. He could not rest, could not give up, could do nothing until the Dark Lord was gone. He stood and he laughed with the others at the cruel things they had done to others and feigned disgust and horror at every success of the Order of the Phoenix.

"Now, let us discuss Harry Potter," the Dark Lord said. It was his favorite subject, it seemed. Severus hated it. He despised having to sit here and listen to the awful things they said about Harry and discussed in detail the horrible things they wished to do to him. If they ever did capture Harry, Severus could kiss his role goodbye…There was no way possible he could sit back and let anything happen to Harry. "How is Draco's relationship with Harry, Severus?"

Draco, a student at Hogwarts, could not sneak out and attend these meetings as easily as Severus could. Anything the Dark Lord wanted Draco to know, would have to be relayed through Severus. "As well as ever, my lord."

"Have you managed to shag him yet, Snapey?" Bellatrix crooned.

"Give that virgin arse a good pounding, then, Snape?" called out Abaddon Avery.

Severus sighed. Every good memory he might have of the boy was tainted by their words. How could he fondly recall kissing him and holding him when they made it all sound so dirty?

"I did manage to accost him in Diagon Alley to keep him from following Draco," Severus admitted. "I was able to do little more than kiss him…His dogfather is on the loose and got worried about he boy being on his own." Severus rolled his eyes. "I will see what I can do, but while Dumbledore remains, he'll have a close eye on me. I'm not entirely sure if I can manage to do much."

"Yes…We cannot have you risking your position too soon, Severus," the Dark Lord said quietly. "Very well…Do any of my other loyal servants have children? Students at Hogwarts who may perhaps seduce young Potter? Sons, of course…I'm afraid we've established that young Harry Potter is a homosexual."

The Death Eaters all seemed uneasy now and Severus refrained from smirking as he wanted. The idea of turning their children gay didn't seem so appealing to them. Bellatrix, Severus noted, eyed them all in disgust. She would have given anything to the Dark Lord. She would probably very gladly mutilate herself and murder herself should the Dark Lord ask it of her. "There would be no shame in such activities if it is in the name of the Dark Lord!" she insisted indignantly. "Stop being such cowards! If I had sons, my lord, I would gladly put them to your service," she said with a low bow.

"I know, my dearest Bellatrix," the Dark Lord said. "No takers? Pity…"

"M-my lord!" said Ezra Nott nervously. "My son…Theodore…is a sixth year Slytherin. Good friends of Draco Malfoy's…He…doesn't have much of a history with the Potter boy. P…Perhaps he might be of some use?"

The Dark Lord grinned slowly. "Of course…Perfect. You will speak to your son, then?"

"Of course, my lord," said Ezra, bowing low.

"Do you think young Theo will be a top or a bottom, Nott?" called out Rabastan Lestrange.

"Oh, shut it!" Ezra snapped. "It is merely a mission…to bring us Harry Potter. Do not think for one moment that my son is some silly little fairy!"

"I dunno, Ez," chuckled Rodolphus Lestrange.

"Hush," the Dark Lord said with a smirk. "Now, you shall write to your son, Ezra, and explain the situation. Severus can keep an eye on things from there, will you not?"

"Of course, my lord," Severus said quietly. His stomach twisted in knots and he felt that familiar burn of anger and jealous roar through him. It was bad enough watching Granger throw herself all over him or remembering the memory of he and Draco kissing. Now he was going to have to encourage Theodore Nott to try his hand at seducing Harry. Severus doubted it would work, but it would still be unpleasant to watch. Severus had no idea how he was going to keep a hold of himself and not strangle the boy, as he would surely want to.

"The more people we have close to Potter, the better," the Dark Lord said. "He would be a fool to trust everyone so easily, but the more we push, the farther we'll go. Potter is a foolish Gryffindor…It shouldn't take much for him to let his guard down and care for people, even in dangerous times such as these."

"You can count on my son and myself to play our part," Ezra Nott said.

"I will aid Theodore and Draco in any way that I can," Severus added.

"Very good," the Dark Lord said. "Though, if you desire the boy…Feel free to continue to find ways around Dumbledore's morals and rules. It would certainly be easier for Potter to fall under your spell, I'm sure."

"It shouldn't be too difficult for Theodore," Ezra began defending. "He is said to be a very attractive young man…Many young women have shown great interest in him…"

You better hope he fails, Ezra, Severus thought to himself, grinding his teeth together. He could almost see it in his head, Theodore Nott flirting with Harry. Touching Harry. Kissing Harry. Harry moaning at his touch and kissing him back…Clinging to him as he had clung to Severus. Severus swallowed hard, struggling to keep himself calm and steady, not willing to let anything show. This was becoming a lot more difficult than he expected.

There wasn't much hope. He was just beginning to realize just how deep in this he was.

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- 36
- 37
- 38
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Lost and Damned