Adult-FanFiction.org : Harry Potter

Practicing Liars	By : Lomonaaeren Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Harry/Draco Views: 63257 -:- Recommendations : 2 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter and I am not making any money from this story.

Chapter List
- 37
- 38
- 39
Thank you again for all the reviews!

Chapter Thirty-Eight�Closer
to the End

�� Harry didn�t
let himself think, because he would panic if he thought. He�d panicked enough
when he saw Draco choking and then realized that he could barely breathe. When
he went into Snape�s private lab, he listened for instructions, and when he
received those instructions, he followed them.

�� There were
weeds that had to be cut. Or maybe they were roots. Harry hadn�t learned the
differences between every kind of them there were, and he didn�t have the
Half-Blood Prince�s book with him to explain those differences right now. He
chopped and cut and sliced and listened to instructions that Snape rephrased
when he realized that Harry wasn�t good at measuring �a cut of three-eighths of
an inch� with his eye. A simple spell put a purple mark on most of the roots,
so Harry knew exactly where to cut.

�� He�s being nice, was one of the few
thoughts that managed to wriggle through Harry�s determined fa�ade of general
numbness.

�� Of course he is, was the next thought,
as Harry hovered next to the cauldron and handed Snape pairs of the chopped
roots as he asked for them (unless they were weeds). He cares about Draco too.

�� Harry felt
some part of him relax. He�d been worrying and wondering that he�d made the
wrong decision. Maybe he should have taken Draco to the hospital wing instead,
to let Madam Pomfrey treat him. In fact, he�d wondered why he hadn�t. Once it
would have been automatic for him to go there when someone he cared about was
hurt.

�� But Snape
cared about Draco as a person. He was good in Potions and a Slytherin. He was
probably a lot more like a son to Snape than Harry would ever be.

�� Harry drew
in a harsh breath and used it to suppress the emotions that were crowding his
mind and probably trying to force him to make a mistake. He would deal with
this. He would worry about being the son that Snape wanted later. For right
now, the important thing was helping
Draco.

�� If he loses his voice, or his
arms, or his life�

�� But he
wouldn�t think about that, either, because Snape had given him a bunch of snails
that had to be crushed and boiled, and Harry was concentrating on doing it
exactly right, and not flinching as the clear, slimy guts tumbled across his
hands.

�� He placed
the crushed snails in a cauldron with a fire lit beneath it. Snape was working
over a bigger cauldron, now stirring, now pausing to chant spells, working with
such perfect speed and force and concentration that Harry was awed and humbled.
He would never be able to do that with Potions, not if he worked on them for a
thousand years.

Again. Don�t worry about that. Concentrate on what you can do to help, not
whether it�s the same as what someone else is doing, or more important.

�� Maybe that
was part of his problem, Harry thought as he placed the snails in the boiling
water of his smaller cauldron and then concentrated on the size of his bubbles.
Snape had said that he was to watch until the bubbles got bigger and the water
turned from milky to clear. That would mean that the guts of the snails were as
boiled as they were going to get, and it was time to add the animals to the
rest of the potion.

�� Harry put
his thought on hold, and sometimes his breath, as he watched the boiling water,
which resulted in loud wheezing gasps later. Snape never looked at him, but
Harry was sure that he saw his spine stiffen with irritation. He tried to be
extra careful and extra prompt as he cooled the water�on a sharp word from
Snape�before he plunged his hands into the cauldron and brought out the snails
to hand over.

�� Maybe that
was part of the problem, the thought resumed when Harry was on the other side
of the room with lavender petals to powder. Everyone thought he was humble and
polite�well, everyone who wasn�t Slytherin�but Harry really wanted to do
important things. He wanted to help
and save people. Individual steps in Potions weren�t important, and the
finished products often wouldn�t help or save anyone. So he had treated it as
uninteresting, and he had never got good at it.

�� If he had,
then he could have helped Snape better now. He could have felt like he was more
than just a pair of hands and a brain filled with restless, useless thoughts.
Snape could have explained the potion to him, and he would have understood.

�� But Snape
didn�t need someone to understand, Harry concluded wisely as he filled one vial
with the powder and carried it across the room to Snape. He needed someone who
could help in other ways. That was the reason it would have taken him forever
to brew the potion on his own: he would have had to stop to powder or boil or
chop, and that would have meant putting the potion under a Stasis Charm, and
who knew when he would have come out with it?

�� Harry had
just settled that to his own satisfaction in his mind when Snape began to
speak. It was a low voice he used, and he never took his eyes away from the
cauldron or lost his fixed expression that seemed to suggest he had nothing to
think about, but the words were there, and they were addressed to Harry.

�� The Acromantula�s Bite is not truly the venom of an Acromantula. It uses the venom as an ingredient, and causes
some effects that are rather like it, but Acromantulas
have no use for killing their victims across a period of months. Thus, the
potion that is the antidote must partake of some characteristics of the Acromantula, without necessarily involving anything
directly from them.�

�� Yes, sir?� Harry murmured obediently.

�� Thus the
roots,� Snape said, and poured some more of them into the cauldron. Harry
blinked. He had thought Snape had already used all of them. That
made him worry. What else have I
missed? But thinking too much was a way to let the panic come back, so he
concentrated and kept Snape�s words in mind instead. �The roots have a trace of
sharpness, and spiders often use them to construct webs on. The similarity is
enough to make them a valuable addition, without making them poisonous.� He
gave Harry a single swift glance, while his hands worked easily to chop and
slice and shred further. Harry wondered if he had really needed help after all.
�Do you understand?�

�� Harry
smiled in spite of himself at the inquiring tone in Snape�s voice. It was kind
of strange that he was worrying about whether Harry understood Potions now, but it was nice, too. Few people
ever worried about whether he understood. Dumbledore seemed to prefer it when
he didn�t. �Not really, sir.�

�� You need
instruction in Potions theory,� Snape muttered, and dropped in another vial
full of powdered lavender petals. �Slughorn can manage little of that in his
classes. I will see to it.�

�� Harry stared
at him, glad when he didn�t notice because he was too deeply involved in the
brewing. Snape was promising what? It
was one thing to get upset when he got in danger�Harry accepted that parents
did that�but helping him with his homework?

�� He looked
at the ground and blinked and swallowed hard, because tears were not part of the plan.

�� Scrape the
flakes of mica out of this.� Snape handed him a small, brightly-glittering
stone and a tiny pick.

�� Harry accepted
them gratefully and retreated to the far side of the room. Sometimes he thought
he came close to comprehending Snape, but even the things that made him feel
most like the son of a father could hurt.

*

�� The potion will be ready in time.

�� The
assurance came to Severus from deep in his mind, calm and deep as the ringing of
a great bell. He felt the tension simmering in the back of his neck flee, and
he could concentrate on more than the half-hatched thoughts about the potion,
Draco, and Harry he�d been having in the past thirty minutes.

�� He turned
around to watch Harry scraping at the flakes of mica. He had several of them
out already and was digging at the next, his teeth clamped down on his tongue
so that it stuck out like a small pink animal escaping from its cage. His hair
fell down around his forehead, half-obscuring the scar. His eyes behind the
glasses were focused and intent.

�� Severus
suffered a sudden, disorienting wave of longing that Harry would remove his
glamour, and allow Severus to see his face the way it should look.

�� He snorted
the impulse away and checked the cauldron once more. Now he would almost have
welcomed the frantic pace of the first brewing portion. It would have given him
something else to think about.

�� I thought you wanted freedom to think?

�� Severus
curled his fingers around the lip of the cauldron. It was the only harmless way
he could express his frustration at the moment, without disrupting the potion
or disturbing Harry from his task.

�� His
explanation of the potion�s nature hadn�t reached Harry. Very
well. That was understandable. Harry was worried about Draco, and he
probably couldn�t understand the connections between various Potions
ingredients without having them explained. Severus had grasped them right away,
and so had Lily, but Severus was slowly coming to accept that not every child
could inherit his parents� talent.

�� But after
this, he must see to Harry�s education. He had taught him poorly. He would
teach him better. If he had made a mistake, he should be the one to set it
right. And he knew Harry had some talent;
it simply wanted encouragement to come out.

�� He would
have laughed aloud at the direction of his thoughts a moment later, if he could
have done it without making Harry think he was mocking him. How can I think about such a thing when
Draco might be dying?

�� But the
answer was simple. He was now confident that the potion would work, and would
be ready in time. He had no reason to distrust himself, so his mind moved on to
the next available topic.

�� It was all
right to think of the future. He would protect his son, and take care of him,
all the things that Harry had a right to expect of his parents and no one had
done for him, except for James and Lily during the first year of his life. But
Severus could do more than that. He could share his knowledge, and ensure that
Harry knew enough about Potions to survive the brewing of them and do whatever else
he wanted to do, no matter if he ever became interested in them for their own
sake or not. Too many students had limited careers because they were never able
to master Potions. Harry would not be one of them.

�� Severus
became aware, as he stood there and watched Harry pry out the last few flakes
of mica, that his warm, fierce possessiveness for Harry had changed its nature.
He wanted the boy to like him and be his, yes, but he also wanted the privilege
of doing things for him. No matter if Harry was ever grateful or not.

�� But it was
Harry, and so he would be. And Severus had to admit that the attraction of
giving gifts, including knowledge, to his son was much enhanced by the knowledge
that he would value them.

�� Harry
turned around with the rock clutched in one hand and the flakes of mica spread
on the palm of the other, and gave a slight start when he saw Severus watching
him. But he extended his hand and said, �Here they are, sir.�

�� Excellent,�
Severus said, making sure to make his voice as warm and casual as it could be
without scaring Harry off. �Why don�t you put them in the cauldron?�

�� Harry
stared at him. �Sorry, sir? You want me to do that?�

�� Yes,� Severus
said, and stepped out of the way so that there would be no chance of Harry misunderstanding
him.

�� Harry approached
the cauldron, watching him all the while, and looking more and more bewildered the
longer the moment stretched. �But what if I do something wrong?� he asked, as
he paused with the flakes of mica above the cauldron�s brim.

�� There is
very little to get wrong.� It was an effort to speak those words without
sarcasm, and from the way Harry�s eyes darkened, Severus was sure he knew it. But
he just jerked his head a little, as though he was tossing away a collar
Severus had tried to place around his neck, and then turned back and opened his
fingers.

�� Despite
himself, Severus watched closely. The flakes drifted down as they were supposed
to, however, and dissolved into the general brew in the cauldron. Severus
nodded in satisfaction and stood up to come closer.

�� Why did
you want me to help you?� Harry suddenly demanded.

�� Because you
were close, and had the concentration on Draco that was necessary to make the potion
instead of asking endless questions, the way that Granger would,� Severus said,
as he picked up the ladle that he would need to beat some of the thick, forming
bubbles back into the side of the cauldron. �And because it would give you some
part to play in the saving of Draco, which I know is important to you.�

�� Harry
frowned, apparently trying to decide if he should be mortified or impressed
that he was so transparent.

�� And
because you are my son,� Severus said, bending his head down so that he would
not have to watch Harry�s expression while he spoke the words, �and I want you
close to me in everything that you do.�

�� There was
no response but a sharply caught breath, as though Harry was having
to think about what that meant.

�� Or as if he was satisfied, Severus
thought, and settled into the final stages of brewing the potion.

*

�

�� Draco
opened his eyes slowly. His throat burned as though he�d swallowed acid. He
reached up and massaged it with a grimace, then turned his head to the side and
locked his eyes on Harry.

�� Harry�s
face was on a level with his own, even though Draco knew he was lying back. He
had just barely recognized that that meant Harry was kneeling on the floor when
Harry said, �Thank Merlin,� and flung
his arms around Draco�s neck.

�� Draco
patted him on the back, while his mind slowly came back to itself and he
remembered the last moments before he�d fallen unconscious. �Poison,� he said,
and looked up at Professor Snape, who was hovering over them (though Draco
doubted Harry would think of the way he was standing in that fashion). �What
poison was it, sir? Is it going to have aftereffects?�

�� The Acromantula�s Bite,� Professor Snape said,
voice as sharp as it would have been if Draco had got a bad mark on an essay in
Potions. �We brewed the antidote inside an hour, and that means no lingering
aftereffects.�

�� We? Draco thought,
and mouthed over Harry�s head as he took him in his arms. Harry seemed intent
on making sure that Draco�s arms were still attached and his shoulders still
made of flesh and bone, which caused Draco to wonder exactly what Snape had
told him about the effects of the poison.

�� Professor
Snape simply inclined his head in answer to Draco�s silent question, and his
eyes glittered. Draco decided he would have to get Harry to tell him the story
of that brewing when he was more
coherent.

�� One of the
student Death Eaters must have poisoned you,� Harry was saying. He shook, but
Draco thought it was relief instead of fear. �We don�t know who, and we don�t
know when.� He pulled back and looked Draco in the eye. Draco had to clear his
throat and look away when he realized how intense the emotions in Harry�s eyes
were. �But we�re going to find out.�

�� Why ought to be easier than either of
those,� Draco said, putting a protective hand on the back of Harry�s neck and
using his grip on his shoulder to help himself sit up. �If there are students
in the school loyal to the Dark Lord, why would they attack me now instead of
right after I betrayed him?�

�� If what
you told me was correct and the Dark Lord has been lured or coerced into
attacking the school,� Professor Snape said calmly, �then I would imagine that
he wishes to try and reduce the number of his enemies before the battle begins.
It would also seem likely that he is aware of the closeness between you and Harry,
and aware of what losing you would do to Harry.�

�� Harry
stiffened, but said nothing. Draco nodded. �So they�ve just been waiting for a
command to attack. Is there any way that we can eliminate some of the suspects?�
Talking about his own possible death this way, as a matter of battle strategy,
was the best way he knew to control his emotions about it for right now. He
could weep and tremble in shock later. But it hadn�t been personal. Maybe the person who had poisoned him hated him, but it
had happened because it was part of the Dark Lord�s attempt to isolate Harry.
Draco didn�t want to think it was anything more than that.

�� I would hate to be Harry, because it�s
personal for him, and everyone expects him to be this great big hero without
even much support.

�� Yes,� Professor
Snape said, and the glitter in his eyes made Draco shudder. �I highly doubt
that most of the student Death Eaters are trained in
Occlumency. I will read their thoughts and bring in the likely suspect by this
time tomorrow.�

�� But�� said
Harry, and then stood there as if he�d forgotten everything in the world but
the need to embrace Draco.

�� Yes?�
Professor Snape asked, and he might have been asking someone he knew perfectly
well wouldn�t be able to answer whether you should add a bit of phoenix feather
to a Warming Potion.

�� Harry took
a deep breath and plunged on. Draco rested his hand a little harder on the back
of Harry�s neck and wondered if he was the only one who realized what courage
it took for Harry to face up to his father. �I don�t think you should do that.
What if they can recognize that they�ve been touched by Legilimency? Or what if
Dumbledore catches you doing it? He might not like it.�

�� I will use
a Memory Charm on anyone whom I can tell is alerted by my use of the magic,�
Snape said, with an indifferent chill that Draco thought would have been
appropriate to a glacier. �And I have ceased to care what Dumbledore thinks of
me.�

�� Harry
twisted around in Draco�s arms. �You can�t know that you�ll catch them all,� he
said. �Maybe Dumbledore can even tell what you�re doing from a distance.�

�� Snape
leaned forwards. Draco could tell that he was intensely interested in the
answer to the question he asked. �Why are you so set on my not doing this? I
would have thought you would understand the necessity of protecting Draco.�

�� I do understand that,� Harry said, and his
arms squeezed tight around Draco again. He gave him an apologetic glance. �I
don�t want you to ever feel unsafe.�

�� Find the poisoner, and I won�t,� Draco said, smiling in spite of
himself at the way Harry seemed to think even this was his fault.

�� Harry
turned back to the professor. �But I don�t think it�s
right to do a wrong thing in order to keep another wrong thing from happening.�

�� Would you
prefer the use of Veritaserum instead?� The professor�s voice would have
sounded polite to most people, but Draco swallowed.

�� That�s not
the same,� Harry said. �And anyway, no, I wouldn�t, not if you�re planning to
drag in people and give them Veritaserum one by one until you find who tried to
murder Draco.� His arms tightened again. He looked wretched, but he was still
fighting. He�ll always fight, Draco
thought, leaning his chin on Harry�s shoulder. That�s why it was so awful to see him when he thought that he had to die to
get rid of the Horcrux in him. He�d given up.

�� I assure
you, I shall be considerably more subtle than that.� Professor Snape�s voice
was less polite, but softer. Draco wished there was a way to sink into the
couch.

�� But what
if you alert someone you don�t mean to?� Harry shook his head stubbornly. �What
if you hurt an innocent person? I just don�t think you should do it.�

�� Professor
Snape said, �I have been a spy and playing mind games with the Dark Lord
himself for years. I will know how to manage this so as to leave no traces
behind. And in the end, I will give the Death Eaters I find over to the Aurors.
I did not intend to keep them and use them for Potions experiments.�

�� But��
Harry began again.

�� No.�
Professor Snape rose and took a quick step towards them, and Draco hoped he was
the only one who felt Harry�s flinch. Maybe the professor saw it, though, because
he stopped, and his voice was genuinely soft this time, instead of soft because
he wanted to frighten people. �I do not wish to hurt your feelings, Harry. But
I will protect the both of you, and I
no longer trust Dumbledore to make the best use of this knowledge even if I
bring it to him. So I shall do it in my own way.�

�� Harry
stared at the floor, twisting his fingers through each other. Draco didn�t know
exactly what was going through his head. Did he think he was unworthy to be
protected? Did he want things to be done right and in the open even when he
knew there was someone hiding in the school who wouldn�t hesitate to use poison
again? Was he just morally revolted by Legilimency no matter what happened?

�� Harry
finally looked up again and said, �You�re going to do this even if I ask you
not to, aren�t you?�

�� Yes,�
Professor Snape said. �In some matters, I will not be dictated to.�

�� In some?� Harry
asked, but he was relaxing against Draco, and Snape could probably see the same
thing. Harry sighed and turned around to rub Draco�s shoulder. �I don�t think it�s right,� he muttered. �But I want the Death Eater
caught, and I don�t see any other way.�

�� Thank you
for your permission,� Professor Snape said, which got him another scowl from
Harry, and then swept out of the room. He did pause on the threshold of the
Potions lab to add, �You will stay here tonight, the both of you.�

�� Draco waited
until the professor had shut the door before he reached out and touched Harry�s
cheek so he�d look at him. �Harry,� he said gently. �Are you really all right
with this?�

�� Harry shook
his head. �It�s�complicated,� he said. �I�ve done similar things in the past,
to Slytherins, so that I could get information.� The unspoken words hung between
them, which were I�ve done things to you,
but Draco had no problem ignoring unspoken words when speaking them would
make both of them uncomfortable. �I want you safe. But it
kind of feels like I�m inflicting him on people. He wouldn�t do this if
not for me. So I�m responsible for any of the wrong things he does, any of the
pain he causes.�

�� You
already have a better sense of responsibility than Dumbledore does,� Draco
murmured, which made Harry smile. �But I think he would have done this anyway, because
I�m the one who was attacked. In fact, it�ll probably be better that he knows
you don�t like it. He�ll be gentler, that way.�

�� I hope so,�
Harry said.

�� It took a
lot of tossing and fidgeting and tangling of limbs, but in the end they both managed
to squirm onto the couch. Draco didn�t think until they were curled up together
what Snape would say if he came back and saw them like this. Then he shrugged
and decided he didn�t care.

�� He could
feel Harry�s hair under his cheek and his arms around his chest. That was more
than enough to stave off any nightmares, any fear that
he might not be alive.

*

�� polka dot: Snape mostly did it because he wanted to brew
with Harry, but he did think that Hermione might not have the right commitment to
Draco�s life to keep from asking questions.

�� k lave demo: Draco definitely still has his voice, and he�s
getting better at recognizing what Harry needs as far as support goes.

�� Sarah:
Thanks!

�� Stargirl77:
It would have been Draco, had they not finished the antidote in an hour.

�� Lauren: I
can add you to the update list if you�ll give me an e-mail address.

�� Sneakyfox: That is an annoying thing about AFF, for sure!

�� I don�t
know if Snape flubbed up. Mostly, Harry couldn�t take that level of emotional
intensity anymore, and that�s why he ran.

�� DTDY: He
was making progress, but luckily he can continue making it.

�� s: We�ll see! I don�t know how steamy this story will get.

�� SP777: As
yet, Snape hasn�t really connected the idea of Sectumsempra and Harry�s Potions talent to the idea of the book.

�� KadyRae: Dumbledore does have a reason for keeping his
secrets, but it�s a reason he also can�t explain, because that would mean
breaking his secrecy. Frustrating, isn�t it?
- 37
- 38
- 39
You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.
Report Story

Practicing Liars