The Optimal Balance | By : TheMightyFlynn Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Harry/Draco Views: 17125 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 3 |
Disclaimer: The Harry Potter universe and characters belong to JK Rowling and associates. This was written for fun. I make no money from it. |
A/N: Thanks for the reviews!
Draco was a patient man; always had been. The wait until a so-called ‘reasonable hour’ for him to drag Harry upstairs that night seemed interminable, however. After taking the papers and jewellery back to the safe in the Manor, Draco had supervised the children as they continued to clean. He had distracted himself during lunch by answering questions about the wedding for Lily. By the time James was stretching and yawning more often than anything else that night, Draco had been watching him impatiently over the top of the newspaper he had definitely not been reading for the past hour. Still, he had had to wait a further twenty minutes for Harry to quietly suggest to James that maybe it was time he took himself off to bed. They did have a big day ahead the next day, after all.
Draco had followed the two of them up the stairs, keeping a proper distance between himself and Harry; partly because that gave him the absolute perfect view of Harry’s arse while he climbed the stairs ahead of him, but also partly because he didn’t truly trust himself at that point in time. He and James had made so much progress in their relationship over the summer that he was not willing to risk ruining it all by acting like a randy moron in front of him. He had continued on to their suite of rooms while Harry had said goodnight.
Pacing the length of the little sitting room in their suite, Draco had stretched his fingers and clenched them in turn. The rush of anticipation over what he was going to request from Harry that night was causing his fingers to tremble a little, but he had known that there was nothing he could do about that. Not without very specific assistance, at any rate. He’d waited almost as long as he could wait, he had thought, and had just been going to step out of the room to find out where Harry had gotten himself off to when the door had opened. Harry had stood in the doorway, staring at Draco with a desire so strong that Draco was still slightly surprised that he had managed to allow Harry to step into the room properly before pouncing. He’d been patient and he’d waited Harry out and now… Now…
“Draco,” Harry groaned as Draco shoved him back against the door.
“It’s been too long, Harry.” Draco pressed as close as he could get and nipped his way along the shell of Harry’s ear. “I need you.”
“It’s b…” Harry let out a shaky breath as his entire body shuddered, causing Draco to grin against the skin of his throat. “Been two or three days.”
Sliding one thigh in between Harry’s legs, Draco began to move. Not fast or anywhere near as frantic as the rushing of the blood through his veins was demanding, but slow and steady. If he was going to do this, then he was going to do it properly, he figured, with a real build up rather than a straight-up demand.
“The fact that you can’t remember whether it has been two or three days isn’t a point in your favour, you know.”
Draco couldn’t help giving what felt like an almost feral grin when Harry’s only response for a while was a series of harsh pants as he tried to catch his breath. Deciding to give Harry some time to contemplate his answer, Draco traced his fingertips around the waistband of Harry’s jeans before leaning in to nibble along his jawline.
“I – I…” Draco grinned again when Harry faltered. “I don’ wanna think, Dray… Not right now…”
“Good.”
Running his hands up Harry’s chest beneath his shirt, Draco proceeded to use all of his knowledge of Harry’s body to work him up slowly. He kept his thigh firmly wedged between Harry’s legs to create the friction they both obviously needed as his hands wandered, pinching, squeezing and kneading various hotspots and muscles. Draco's mouth was just as busy as his hands, sucking on Harry’s earlobes, nibbling on his jaw, and biting gently on his lips. When Draco dipped his tongue into Harry’s mouth, Harry responded with a deep moan that vibrated through Draco's chest. Draco was unable to prevent the laugh he let out into the kiss.
“Draco…” Harry rolled his hips, causing need to shoot through every one of Draco's nerve endings. “Draco, please…”
“I want…”
Draco pulled back a little so he could take a steadying breath. Harry’s fingers dug into his shoulders, not allowing him to move too far, but all he wanted was to have enough room to see Harry’s expression.
“I want to switch positions tonight.”
Harry blinked in response, his eyes magnified to an abnormal size by his glasses. “Whatever you want; just get on with it.”
Draco had to smile when it became clear that Harry hadn’t understood him. Leaning in, he brushed their lips together softly.
“Harry.” He waited until Harry met his eyes. “I want to switch roles.” He nipped at the corner of Harry’s mouth. “Not a new position.”
“You want…”
Pulling back, Draco grinned as Harry’s eyes widened. “I want you inside me.”
Draco had no idea what to expect as Harry’s reaction. A number of emotions flashed across Harry’s face, but Draco was unable to read them all, they passed so quickly.
“You’re sure?”
“I wouldn’t ask if I wasn’t sure.”
Harry barely gave Draco enough time to take another breath after speaking before he dragged him down into a harsh kiss. The usual frantic pace Harry set whenever Draco let go of some of his control seemed to be the way things were headed this time as well, if the rate at which they managed to shed their clothing on the way to the bedroom was any indicator. Not that Draco minded much this time, as he had been anticipating this since before lunch. By the time he was lying spread out on the bed before Harry, he was panting harshly.
“Harry…”
Kneeling between Draco's spread legs, Harry grinned. “Shush.”
Unable to help it, one of Draco's eyebrows shot up into his hairline. “‘Shush’? Did you just–”
His words were cut off when Harry leant forward to lick a stripe up the underside of his straining cock. Draco's breath hissed out between his teeth as a jolt of pure pleasure arced through him.
“Yes, Draco. Shush.”
It seemed to Draco that now Harry had him on the bed, he was in no hurry to ‘get on with it’, as he had demanded Draco do not five minutes before. Again, Draco had no idea what exactly to expect – not teenage-style first-time fumbling, and certainly not confident and assured movements – but what he definitely hadn’t thought to expect was for Harry to begin to explore him. Harry’s hands moved along Draco's body just as Draco had done to him earlier, only they hit different spots. Draco's back arched when Harry bit down lightly on his collarbone, his breathing hitched when Harry’s fingers danced over the left-hand side of his ribcage, and he almost lost all control when Harry raised his legs so he could nip at the sensitive skin of his thighs.
“Christ, Potter, if you don’t…” Draco's words cut off again when Harry’s tongue flicked along the underside of his cock again. “Harry…”
“Yes.”
Draco felt the touch of the preparation charms and in the next second, Harry was right there on top of him. Raising his legs a little further, he hooked his ankles behind Harry’s back, hoping to not only give him better access, but also to hurry him up. Hovering over him, Harry was one of the most stunning sights Draco had ever seen: his swollen lips parted as he panted, his pupils blown wide, and his wild hair finally looking like real bed hair rather than just a complete mess. Draco grinned as Harry settled down on top of him properly.
“I love you.”
Harry’s responding smile could only be called wicked. “I know.”
With that, he leant down to capture Draco's lips in a harsh kiss, swallowing the laugh that erupted out of Draco as his own so common response to Harry was thrown back at him. Despite his ability to turn Draco on, Harry’s actions still gave away that this was the first time he had done this. With careful, almost hesitant movements, he rocked his hips forward slowly. Draco wasn’t sure if he was savouring the feeling or just nervous, but he figured that he had better step in, so to speak. Breaking the kiss, he rested their foreheads together for a few seconds.
“Faster.”
“Dra–”
“I’m not delicate, Harry.”
“But it’s been–”
“Harry!” Draco waited until Harry met his eyes. “I’ll tell you to slow down if you’re going too fast. But right now, I need you to move.”
Squeezing his muscles around Harry seemed to have the right effect: Harry’s breath shuddered out of him and his hips jerked forward. Draco's eyes slid shut as a combination of pleasure and pain shot through him. He knew Harry was right and that it had been a long time since he had done this, but the demand in his blood was refusing to let up. Throwing his head back against the pillow, Draco's hands clenched into the sheet beneath him when Harry’s hips rested fully against his.
“Draco?”
Draco could hear the strain in Harry’s voice; could feel the tremble in the arms holding him up. Releasing a breath he hadn’t realised he was holding, he reopened his eyes. The look Harry gifted him with – his eyes full of wonder, almost as though Draco was some kind of a miracle – had him smiling all over again.
“Good; it’s good…” Draco waited until the burn had subsided a little before squeezing his muscles again, earning himself a groan. “Now.”
Harry’s movements were still a little hesitant for a while, but when he realised that Draco wasn’t objecting at all, he seemed to gain confidence. By the time Harry found his rhythm, Draco's head was beginning to swim a little. Unable to control it, one of his hands began to clench in the sheet, while the other flew up to grasp the back of Harry’s neck. Pulling him down gave Draco a bit more friction and he let out a ragged breath.
The sensation of letting go of his tightly held control and handing the reins over to someone else after so long seemed to be giving Draco a different kind of release altogether, if the feeling of freedom rapidly spreading through him was any indication. His grip on Harry’s neck tightened as his stomach muscles clenched.
“God, Harry…” Desire coiled rapidly through Draco's stomach, swirling and twisting, leaving heat and an unsatisfied need in its wake. “Fuck…”
Finding that he had apparently lost all control of his own actions, the hand that had been clenched in the sheet moved to grasp Harry’s hip. Canting his hips upwards, Draco put some pressure on Harry’s hip, pulling him closer; deeper. The new angle seemed to be just the right one, as Harry’s next thrust hit Draco's prostate, causing him to see stars. He knew he was speaking – could even hear the words – but neither knew nor cared what he was saying. With his arms wrapped tightly around Harry, he let go completely. Throwing his head back, he pulled Harry closer, trying to get him deeper and deeper each thrust. It wasn’t long before the swirling heat in his stomach was becoming too much for Draco to be able to stand.
“Harry… Please…”
It only took one more hit to his prostate for Draco to tip over the edge. He let out a string of what he thought were expletives, but couldn’t really be sure as his body began to spasm in orgasm. He could hear Harry murmuring in his ear, but again, he couldn’t quite make out what he was saying. Harry collapsed down on top of him as Draco's orgasm finally released him, the both of them falling into a boneless heap on the bed.
*~*
“No one ever forced me.”
“Huh?”
Harry blinked, attempting to pull himself out of the stupor his orgasm had settled over him. He had had no idea that when Draco had mentioned ‘wanting him’ earlier that day, that this would have been the result. But, taking into consideration his current state of complete relaxation as he lay half-on and half-off of Draco's chest, he was so thankful it had.
“What an eloquent response, Potter.”
There was a hint of humour to Draco's tone, causing Harry to grin. “Sorry, I er…” He glanced over to the – now repaired – alarm clock on Draco's bedside, which told him he had been just lying there for close to an hour. “Sorry.”
“You’ve already said that.”
“Well, excuse me, Mr. Malfoy,” Harry responded automatically, using a ridiculously formal tone in an attempt to needle Draco into a response. “But apparently some of us don’t recover as fast as others these days.”
“Oh, no. If you want another round, you’re waiting until tomorrow morning.”
The movement of Draco's muscles as he stretched his arms over his head had Harry smiling as memories flashed through his mind. He wasn’t allowed to fall back into them, however, as Draco cleared his throat.
“That wasn’t what I…”
Harry frowned when Draco trailed off. Pushing himself up onto his knees – God damn it, he ached! – he groped around the bedside behind him for his wand. When he lit the tip and shone it towards the head of the bed, it was to see Draco watching him with what Harry considered to be a rather serious expression for someone who had just been doing what they had been doing. His mind, of course, jumped straight to whatever it was he could have done wrong. Had he hurt Draco somehow? Surely he would have realised, right?
“Harry?” Harry jumped, causing Draco to shake his head. “Whatever you’re thinking, you should probably stop.”
“What’s wrong?”
Draco shook his head again. “Nothing. I do have something I need to tell you, though.” When Harry didn’t move, Draco sighed. “Tell you, Potter, not accuse you of. Will you please just relax and lie back down?”
His heart thumping in his chest, Harry nodded slowly. This night – and, really, this whole day – had been full of new experiences for him. Most of the experiences had been good and Harry was really hoping that they could go into the day of their wedding on a good note, rather than starting it with the leftover resentment an argument would cause. He left the tip of his wand lit, but laid it down on the covers as he shifted up to the top of the bed again. His nerves shivered when Draco let out a breath.
“This morning, you told me things that… Well, things that I would assume that you never wanted anyone else to know, am I right?” He smiled when Harry nodded again. “In that case, this is my chance to return the favour.”
Harry couldn’t help frowning. “What do you mean?”
“You never wondered why I have never allowed us to do this” – he gestured between the two of them – “before tonight?”
Harry could feel his eyes widening as the realisation of what Draco was trying to say sank in. Of course he had wondered why Draco had never bottomed for him but, if he was being completely honest with himself, then most of the time, he had been too caught up in the sex they were already having to worry about why he wasn’t allowed to try something different. Well, he figured, that combined with his reluctance to pry too deep into what he saw as Draco's private thoughts. Draco's past had never bothered Harry beyond wanting to know more about him and he had figured that if Draco wanted him to know, then he would tell him. It seemed that the time had come, now, however.
“Of course I wondered, but I didn’t want to push too hard.”
“Well…” Draco sighed as he shoved himself up into a sitting position beside Harry. “Now you don’t have to push.”
When Draco fell silent again, Harry moved a little closer and ran the tips of his fingers down Draco's left forearm, then on to clasp their hands together gently. “You don’t have to.”
“No, but I want to. We’re going to be married tomorrow, so you have a right to know.” Draco paused just long enough to take a deep breath and let it out in a rush. “First of all, you have to know that I was never forced into doing anything I’m going to tell you about. I went into everything with the full knowledge that I may get hurt, that some of it at least bordered on being illegal, and that I was bound to be absolutely humiliated if any of it got out.”
The second Harry nodded in acknowledgement, Draco began to speak. Beginning from just after the end of the War, Harry learned that Draco had given permission to some of the older and slightly rougher men to ‘use’ him, in Draco's words. Harry was one hundred percent certain that he did not want to know any of the details and, after a quick glance in his direction, it seemed that Draco deemed it appropriate to not continue down that path.
“I was never seriously injured during my time with those men, but they also were never gentle with me. They knew me, they knew my Father, and they obviously felt they had the right to take whatever they wanted from me. And I let them.”
“Was it…” Harry trailed off, not wanting to finish the question, but it seemed Draco had sensed what he wanted to know anyway.
“A punishment for what I had done, I think. Your testimony had allowed me to escape Azkaban, which I will forever be grateful for; especially where it concerns my parents. But I felt as though I needed to either prove myself, or make amends of some kind.”
“The charity work wasn’t enough?” All of wizarding London knew of the generous donations the Malfoy family had made after the War. “You had to…”
Draco sighed. “The charity work wasn’t me. Those donations would have been made whether you had won the War or not. It’s simply something that happens with the old families. This was personal.”
Harry sat in silence for a while. His heart was now thumping in his chest again, although for a completely different reason. If he allowed himself to really think about it for a few minutes, then he knew that, in the back of his mind, he had known that Draco had done something like this after the War. That knowledge didn’t prevent anger from bubbling up inside him at an alarming rate, however. He’d known – hell, they’d all known – that the ex-Death Eaters had had a hard time during those first few years. As an Auror, he had been called out to all kinds of disputes between all kinds of people, and even he had realised that most of his collars were people who had been exonerated after the War for various reasons. So many of them had returned to the criminal lives they had been living pre-War and had wound up in Azkaban anyway that it had been a running joke that the Aurors were out collecting those the Ministry had let slip through the cracks.
“You were punishing yourself?”
“I was.”
Harry let out a controlled breath. “Please tell me this didn’t last until you married Tori.”
Draco let out a small sound that told Harry he was smiling, even if he couldn’t see it. “No, it didn’t. It was two years only. By then I had made enough connections – and grown up enough – so that I could make my own decisions when it came to my sex life. As it turns out, there are many men out there who would have liked to have been able to brag about having bedded a Death Eater.”
“And also quite a few who would have liked to be able to brag that they had bedded a Malfoy?”
This time Harry turned his head enough so that he could catch the small smile that crossed Draco's lips. The anger still boiled away inside him, but seeing Draco smile like that did go a little way to helping Harry to suppress it. He couldn’t help smiling in return.
“From then on you were much more discerning?”
Draco's smile widened a little. “From then on, I never trusted anyone enough to touch me that way again. Until tonight.”
A small shiver wound its way through Harry, causing him to roll his shoulders. It had occurred to him that Draco allowing him this kind of liberty with him had some kind of meaning behind it, but he had been too distracted by the actual physical act to pay much attention to the reasons behind it. Now, however… He tightened the grip he had on Draco's hand, squeezing it as he leant in to cup his other hand behind Draco's head and draw him into a soft kiss.
“Thank you.”
After everything they had been through these past few weeks, this moment right here felt almost as though it was releasing something for Harry. Another, much stronger, shiver ran through him when Draco pulled him back into the kiss rather than responding verbally. He had gifted Harry with something that he hadn’t given anyone in a very long time that night. For Harry, it was an indication of the level of trust Draco had in him more than anything else and he was absolutely determined that he would be worthy of that trust in the years to come.
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