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You Will Not Kiss Me	By : Prosperosdaughter Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Snape/Remus Views: 22836 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 2
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Chapter List
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Chapter 39: Plans & Measurements

Lupin sent a letter to Moody to invite him to the Hog's Head for a drink as he was in Hogsmeade briefly and it would be good to catch up with an old friend. Owl despatched (by way of hiding that Lupin was already in the school), they fell to discussing their more urgent business.

They had spent some time discussing when they would undertake the bonding ceremony and where. Lupin suggested the summer, perhaps in Athens itself, and he would take Snape on a grand tour of the magical places of antiquity for their honeymoon. As much as he loved the idea, Snape couldn't help it: he felt a sense of foreboding; he felt it very deeply – if they left it until summer, it wouldn't happen. Something – something nameless – would prevent it.

"I don't want to delay," he said firmly, holding Lupin's hand.

"Then let's not," Lupin said, his face wreathed in smiles. "It can't happen soon enough for me."

"Have you been to a bonding before?" Snape asked, with interest.

"Just once: James and Lily bonded," Lupin said simply.

"I didn't know," Snape responded quietly. The knowledge took him aback. He had thought Lily had married James in an ordinary marriage ceremony; he hadn't known they had soul bonded. This must have meant that James was more worthy than Snape had ever dreamt, because he certainly knew the value of Lily's soul and it could not have been bonded to someone of mean spirit. He would have to examine this knowledge more closely another time.

"It's always charged with a small frisson of doubt, I understand – will the bond take? If the souls are not worthy of each other, the bond will fail," Lupin said. "Is that true?"

"Yes, it's true. Bonding ceremonies were always preferred to ordinary marriage ceremonies in pureblood circles, so I shouldn't be surprised that Potter had one. I've been to many. Some didn't work." Snape smirked unpleasantly. "It was quite amusing to watch the happy couple blame each other!"

"Do you worry that ours will fail, Severus?" Lupin asked frankly.

"No, I believe we are a perfect fit." Snape cupped Lupin's face in his hands as he said this - he had absolute confidence, in a way that he even surprised himself. Lupin was clearly delighted.

"So, are we having a society bonding, Severus?" Lupin said with amusement. "Will all your pureblood, Slytherin friends be invited?"

"No more than your Gryffindor friends. It's no-one's business but ours. All that matters to me is us, but we need a bonder. Please don't suggest Black and I won't suggest Malfoy!" Snape said witheringly, but with a smile so Lupin wouldn't be offended.

"Albus?" Lupin said gently.

"If he'll agree," Snape said, wondering if Dumbledore would agree but not for any reason Lupin might suspect. Lupin knew nothing of Snape's vow and, try as he might, Snape couldn't find it in himself to confess it to Lupin: to confess his very large part in the death of Lily, for it was his eternal shame.

Snape felt decidedly idiotic, even though it was clear that Lupin was over the moon. If he had allowed it, he had no doubt Lupin would be holding his hand at this instant whilst he was telling Dumbledore excitedly of their plans to bond.

Dumbledore twinkled. Obviously. Why was he even surprised? Dumbledore clapped his hands together once, and then shook both men by the hand. He sat then, looking for all the world as if a very tiring task had been accomplished by himself personally, and he was well pleased with the result. He asked to see the circlets and Lupin showed them to him with pride.

"So rare ... from the time of Agathon himself ..." Dumbledore murmured as he held one up to catch the weak winter sunlight. "You know, they become more filigreed as love accretes to them? Quite extraordinary ancient deep magic." He smiled at both men. "I would be more than honoured to be your bonder. When and where? Will we have a large party?" Dumbledore looked at Lupin, "Or will we conduct your nuptials in greatest secrecy?" he looked to Snape, with a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth.

Lupin laughed. "We don't want a large party, Albus. We think we've waited long enough ... been through so much ... we just wish to be bonded," he said simply and quietly and looked lovingly at Snape, who found himself quite touched. "Ideally, as soon as possible. We'd like the ceremony at Cadr Idris if you'll permit it," Lupin asked Dumbledore as he smiled at Snape, who nodded his perfect agreement.

"New year is always an auspicious time," Dumbledore suggested, smiling at them both. "By chance, it falls this coming weekend, so we will be able to get you a few days to yourself before your respective duties call you back to life's humdrum existence," he said wistfully.

Lupin restrained himself no longer and he grabbed and squeezed Snape's hand. Snape smiled fondly at Lupin's exuberance, still surpised and delighted to find himself the object of it.

"As bonder, I certify your bonding ceremony in case you wish to register your bonding at the Ministry. You know that the Ministry must recognise your bonding with all the attendant legal rights that brings."

"We do wish to register it, Albus," Snape said firmly. "I want Remus to be able to live with me here."

"Yes, yes," Dumbledore nodded, gently fingering his beard. He then peered over his glasses at them both. "Might I request a favour, please?"

"Of course, Albus," Lupin said; Snape would rather have heard what the favour entailed first and inwardly sighed at Lupin's trusting nature.

"Might I suggest you wait until the end of summer term to register your bonding? Once term has finished, the parents will have the entire summer holiday to send howlers to me to vent any misgivings about Remus living in the school, without disrupting the school. By the start of the new school year, I'm sure any fuss will have subsided. I'm sorry to bring it up but, people being what they are ..." Dumbledore gave a small shrug and let the unfinished sentence hang in the air.

"Well, I still have the contract with Gringotts to run," Lupin said with a sigh, "so I suppose it makes sense. It's only six months," Lupin smiled at Snape, who wasn't sure he agreed at all, but he tried to be sanguine. They would be bonded anyway – what difference could six months possibly make in waiting to register?

Snape stood on the measuring dias in front of Madame Malkin feeling like a perfect prat. How had he let Lupin talk him into this, he couldn't fathom. Well, he could. He recalled perfectly now he thought about it.

Barely had they returned to Snape's quarters from speaking to Dumbledore, than Lupin had pressed himself onto Snape in the drawing room, murmuring his love as he deftly undressed Snape, pushing him onto his favourite chair, clearly very aroused as he almost smothered Snape with kisses and loving touches, firing Snape's desire immediately as Snape undressed Lupin.

Lupin turned Snape onto his front quickly in front of the chair he'd been pressed against, so unusual in itself it took Snape's breath away. Lupin pressed his weight against Snape's back and sucked his back, shoulders and neck and Snape gasped at the nerve-tingling sensations. Then moving slightly to one side, Lupin began to stroke inside Snape, lightly but insistently, until Snape started to moan as Lupin stroked his prostate and then he pushed his cock gently into Snape, and starting kissing his neck again, gradually building his rhythm. Snape listened to Lupin's soft moans of his love and of Snape's name as his fingers began to caress Snape's torso gently and tenderly, adding to the hot sensations already accumulating in him.

Snape looked over his shoulder at Lupin waiting until Lupin was withdrawing, and then pushed back hard onto him making them both gasp and now hot, thick desire flooded over Snape. Lupin's eyes snapped open and he leaned forward to kiss the side of Snape's face repeatedly then groaning more as he started rolling into Snape. Then he grabbed him underneath his pelvis to raise him up onto his hands and knees, spreading his legs so he could plunge in more fully, finally making Snape cry out in pleasure. They were both too excited now as Lupin grasped Snape's own erection tightly to pace in time making hm moan almost constantly, holding his hip with the other hand, and moaning his name over and over again. Snape arched his back so he could feel Lupin's cock even deeper and in time with Lupin moved back onto him repeatedly, the pulsing waves of pleasure washing over him, as colours burst behind his tightly closed eyes, until he came fiercely under Lupin's hand, followed quickly by Lupin himself crying out hoarsely and falling forward onto Snape's back, both panting hard. Snape lowered them both onto the floor.

"You will be my husband soon," Lupin said breathily, as he kissed the side of Snape's face and moved himself to Snape's side and caressed Snape's waist and hips. Snape drew his own fingers along Lupin's chest. "I can scarcely believe it. At the end of this week..." Lupin smiled at Snape ravishingly. He suddenly raised himself on one elbow, his eyes widening.

"What will we wear?" he said urgently and sprang to his feet and went to the bedroom wardrobe.

"Remus!" Snape chided as he got to his feet and followed him into the bedroom. "You're not serious!" Snape was horrified. "You're not a blushing bride you know," he rolled his eyes as Lupin grabbed each one of Snape's robes, looking unimpressed. "And nor am I! My clothes are perfectly serviceable," he barked.

"You really do only have black! I was convinced there would be something - anything - just one garment – oh, I don't know –maybe just a cravat - forest green or midnight blue! All black," Lupin was muttering. He turned and looked at Snape, who was now sitting on the bed watching Lupin's mock despair with amusement.

"Yes, and all my shirts are white and white only," Snape said firmly.

"You bought me a beautiful robe and trousers. So I shall have a waistcoat made for the trousers, and you need a new waistcoat and trousers too," Lupin said, once he'd finished rifling through Snape's wardrobe. "It can be black, if you absolutely insist, but not one of these old severe ones, Severus." Lupin looked exasperated. "It is our bonding." Then he leant forward. "It should be something new - and handsome, like its wearer," he whispered seductively, and he sat next to Snape on the bed and wrapped his arms around Snape's waist and kissed him.

And here he was - standing on a measuring dias, like some ridiculous popinjay, being asked what side he "dressed", for Merlin's sake!

As Madame Malkin measured, he thought that perhaps Lupin had been right. After all, it was their bonding and it would be New Year's Eve on top of a Welsh mountain – they could hardly be bare-chested. And Snape did have a number of bites that he would really rather Dumbledore did not see, so a waistcoat made good sense. Their upper arms needed to be bare for the circlets. It was unfortunate his Dark Mark – his brand - would also be visible. Another good reason that it should only be themselves and Dumbledore.

"So, tapered and buttoned trousers, sir, and the waistcoat – double fronted, with buttons to the left hand side of the chest. And what about the collar, sir?" Madame Malkin asked, her charmed quill annotating her sketches as Snape considered what would cover his bites.

"A Mandarin high collar, if you please," Snape said.

"And will it be black, sir?" Madame Malkin queried, suspecting she knew the answer.

"Midnight blue," Snape replied, with a small smile at the seamstress's look of surprise and thinking how it would complement the colour of the robe and trousers he had bought for Lupin.

Snape had been to dinner in the Great Hall, and then played chess with Minerva. She'd trounced him quite soundly, best of three, which Snape took as a sign of his preoccupation with how Lupin's evening at the pub was going with Moody. That said, an evening with Minerva was always a good opportunity to sample her stunning collection of malt whiskies and her acerbic wit.

It was half past ten before Snape got back to his quarters, and called for a pot of tea to await Lupin's return from the pub. When he did, he returned by Floo. He looked distressed and unwell.

"Tell me, Remus, what has happened?" Snape said, as he took Lupin's travelling cloak and scarf, and Lupin threw off his robe and boots to sit before the fire and then accepted a large mug of tea from Snape gratefully.

"Oh Severus," Lupin said unhappily. "I certainly did find out more than I ever wanted to know." He sighed heavily. "I don't think I can do it justice really. Why don't you look at the memory and tell me what you think?"

Snape was stunned at the suggestion. "You will let me?" Snape whispered. He had to confess to himself, he had not thought Lupin would let him enter his mind with the ease he had prior to that full moon when he had hurt him. He had only done it once since then, and that was to heal what he had damaged.

"Severus, you will be my husband in two days. Of course, I will let you. Besides, I don't think I can explain it well enough. I need you to see for yourself." Lupin grasped Snape's hand and squeezed.

Snape held Lupin's face gently as they gazed into each other's eyes and he whispered as he pointed his wand, "Legilimens."

Lupin's mind. Snape felt his own joy at being permitted to access it again. He also felt Lupin's pleasure, welcoming him back. For a while, they sat there, just basking in the intimacy of Snape immersing himself in the warmth and comfort of Lupin's mind. It was so emotional, he almost lost sight of his purpose.

"Sorry, Remus," he thought sheepishly, when he recalled.

"Not at all," Lupin thought, and there was his reverberating chuckle that Snape enjoyed so physically when he was in Lupin's mind.

They were in the Hog's Head, as dingy as ever, straw over dusty floorboards and grime encrusting the windows.

"Nice to see ya, laddie, nice to see ya," Moody said gruffly, but amiably, slapping Lupin roughly on the back and resuming propping himself up at the bar and ordering Lupin a drink from Aberforth. Aberforth grunted an acknowledgement that at least one of them would be purchasing a drink, gesturing, none too politely, at Moody's flask.

They passed over an hour with the most ordinary pleasantries, laughing over some old times from the first wizarding war and remembering the fallen. Then Lupin described to Moody the type of work he was doing for Gringotts. Moody seemed interested and knowledgeable when Lupin described the types of curses they came across and the composition of the teams required to break some of the more complex curses. It was clear Moody was Lupin's friend. Listen to how easily they talked. Clearly they conversed easily, with a shared history. Moody regaled him with an assortment of stories of training would-be Aurors since his retirement. Lupin was going to mention Tonks, but something – something indefinable – stopped him. "I don't know why I didn't," Lupin thought to Snape.

Lupin told Moody he was in Hogsmeade to see friends and obviously had heard Moody was teaching Defence at Hogwarts and wondered how he was enjoying it, and what he thought of the Triwizard Cup. Moody's face became serious and took on a somewhat sympathetic cast.

"Terrible thing to happen to ya last year, terrible thing! Children talk about yer still – liked ya as a teacher. That's a real gift, a real gift indeed," Moody said, shaking his head slowly in commiseration.

"Not the first time I've been run out of town, Alastor, you know that," Lupin said sagely.

"First time your secret was spilled for the world's consumption though, eh," Moody said roughly. "I heard it was that Death Eater – Snape! Ruined your reputation in the wizarding world. That man is scum!" Moody spat.

Snape could feel Lupin was taken aback, confused that Moody knew; wondering if this was the reason for Moody's increased dislike of Snape, beyond his Death Eater history. Snape felt himself start to despair. He had not been reminded of this for so long. Perhaps he did deserve what Moody had been doing to him.

"I think, in fairness, Alastor, it was a little more complicated than that." Was it though? Snape felt Lupin's discomfort. How do you explain his own behaviour without the Mind Break? Snape didn't think it could be done. "Albus has told you about Peter Pettigrew and Sirius Black, hasn't he?"

"Aye," Moody said, nodding slowly.

"I left the castle without taking my Wolfsbane Potion; I was unsafe. I endangered everyone around me. I left to find Sirius and Peter. Severus didn't know about Peter – he just thought I was helping Sirius into the castle to kill Harry. He didn't see the return of Peter, and then Sirius escaped." Lupin shrugged. "So, he let the nature of my condition slip to ensure I couldn't stay – he genuinely believed I was dangerous." Snape knew this was a lie; he felt Lupin's discomfort again repeating it. "Perhaps, I don't blame him." Lupin smiled his small self-effacing smile. Snape felt renewed shame because he knew that Lupin didn't blame him. But he should.

"Humph," Moody grunted roughly. "Don't even know why you would stick up for such a twisted wizard as that one. Well, what would you think if I told you that that very man who ruined your reputation has a werewolf lover of his own? Hey? What do you think of that?" Moody slammed the dirty bar with his fist and looked triumphant, grinning grostesquely with that damaged slash of a mouth, nodding slowly as Lupin's mouth opened and closed like a goldfish.

Lupin's confusion was palpably thick. Moody didn't know Snape was Lupin's mate. Snape thought that must be a positive thing – at least he was not trying to hurt Lupin. He felt Lupin wrestling whether to tell Moody but what followed decided him against it and Snape understood why.

"This man, ha!" a harsh, sarcastic bark of derisive laughter was accompanied by a stamp of his staff on the floor as he warmed to his topic, "if you can call such a deviant a man who serves another man like a wench, was in the inner circle of Death Eaters! He wasn't lower ranks, laddie, not a bit of it! A high ranking Death Eater."

Lupin's stomach lurched. Snape could feel it. Lupin had never known of Moody's antipathy to male relationships. Why would he? It was something they had never discussed. Certainly, there was no reason for Moody to have known of Lupin's own inclinations.

"Now, I'm not saying other Death Eaters weren't that way inclined either," Moody swayed, his mouth turning down with distaste, "there were certainly many of that tendency, amongst other perversions, and they indulged themselves fully, I can tell ya." Moody shook his grey mane slowly, clearly relishing his thoughts. "I would very much like to imagine what real blood purist Death Eaters would do to one of their own who has become submissive to a dog werewolf though."

Snape felt Lupin flinch inwardly and a wave of nausea wash over him. Snape could feel Lupin's sense of betrayal in his old friend at the surfacing of that age-old pureblood prejudice against werewolves.

Moody took a greedy swig from his flask, and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. "What I'd really like to know though is: who is it? Not Greyback surely, or one of those evil-smelling feral buggers. That would be a turn up for our Professor Snape. Always acting like he's got a poker up his arse - well now we know what he does have up his arse don't we? Just a bitch to a rank wolf." He nudged Lupin in the ribs. "No offence, laddie. But it won't be as if there are many clean and educated lycans like you, will it?

Of course, Lupin was "different". How often had Lupin heard that? "All werewolves are dangerous or dirty or murderous. Of course, you're different." Snape felt Lupin's increasing distress at this turn of events.

"But who? I'd dearly like to know." Moody as good as snarled in his throat. "Then I could really make Snape pay – him and his dog. Pay like all of his kind should pay." Moody turned his ruined face to Lupin fully, his natural eye glittering with unfettered malice as he hissed through gritted teeth: "I hate Death Eaters who have walked free, laddie."

Snape felt Lupin's stomach churning in misery. He could feel Lupin wanted to hex Moody into next week for harbouring all these foul thoughts, and hiding them from him for all these years, let alone his hatred of his mate. But information was necessary, so he felt Lupin swallow the bile of anger and continue to try to be friendly. "We'll make a spy of you yet, Remus," Snape thought.

"Albus trusts him, Alastor. He says he has good reason to trust him, and that's why he vouched for him and secured his release," Lupin proffered.

"Does he now, does he indeed? Well, Albus, is a trusting soul, but I know better. Do men like Snape change? They do not, sir! No, Snape can never be trusted, or Karkaroff, for that matter. The castle is riddled with Death Eaters who escaped justice. Well, not forever ... their time is coming." Moody's eye flickered with naked hatred. "Constant vigilance! That's what's required with men like him."

oooOOOooo

"There's not much after that, Severus," Lupin thought. "But one thing – I don't know if you can experience it – can you smell Moody as I do?"

Snape found the sense memory Lupin was directing him to.

"Yes, I have it." If he'd had a physical nose, he would have wrinkled it.

"Now here is my older memory ..."

"Very different. The older memory is more ... organic, natural – an old man smell," Snape gave a snort, "but natural. The new smell ... it's off ... I can't quite put my finger on it yet."

"That's what I thought. I was rather relying on your Potions expertise to identify it. My sense of smell differentiates it, knows it's changed, but I can't quite identify how."

"A different soap. Well, just soap really – the older smell was a stranger to soap, that's for sure," Snape thought wryly. "The soap is very heavy smelling – yes, I've smelt that on him – coal tar soap. But I think I can just detect ... iron ... yes, definitely iron ... fluxweed ... there's more ... there's definitely more." Snape spent some time trying to unravel the different smells, "antimony ... aghh ... " but eventually, he gave up. "Dammit – there's just too much of that appalling soap. That's all I can get."

Snape slipped gently out of Lupin's mind and still holding Lupin's face, kissed him gently and held him close.

"Well, all of that was pretty unpleasant to hear, Severus. But perhaps we've been mistaking plain, unadulterated hatred, as if that isn't bad enough, for something more ominous," Lupin said sadly.

"Perhaps you are right. I very much don't want him to find out you're my mate, Remus. I just don't think he can be trusted," Snape said quietly, noting just how sad Lupin was at his discovery of Moody's hatred of Lupin's nature. But still he wondered. It didn't sit right - not with everything else. He didn't think they had the true measure of Moody yet.

He would still keep a watchful eye on Alastor Moody.
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You Will Not Kiss Me