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The Long Road	By : SinisterMe Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Snape/Remus Views: 63598 -:- Recommendations : 3 -:- Currently Reading : 18
Disclaimer: This is a work of fan fiction using characters from the Harry Potter world, which is trademarked by J. K. Rowling. This story is purely for entertainment purposes, no money is being made from it.

Chapter List
- 38
- 39
- 40
As they walked into the living room the boy stopped fast, so much so that Snape almost ran into him.
“Dad?” Teddy asked, voice unsure.
Severus wrinkled his brow and looked into the room a little further, only to see Remus leaned up against the other side of the doorway. He looked like he’d been on the wrong end of a bar fight and was both perspiring and breathing heavily, both legs were splayed out in front of him and his arms hung limply at his sides.
“Teddy!” Remus said, sitting up a little straighter and looking his boy over from head to toe.
“What are you doing?” Teddy asked, his expression twisting in confusion. “What happened to your face?”
Remus looked up to see Severus giving him a look of… disappointment? He dropped his gaze.
Snape stepped past Teddy and moved closer to Remus. He knelt next to him and picked up his wrist, taking his pulse without a word.
“I was…” Remus began, “I just wanted to…”
“Your father was concerned for your safety,” Severus told the boy. Remus seemed unable to do it for whatever reason. He looked over at Teddy. “Maybe you should go upstairs and get into a fresh set of clothes,” he suggested. “Those ones are full of cobwebs.”
Teddy looked down at himself, then to his father and then to Snape again.
“I’ll get him fixed up,” Severus said, “you go get changed.”
“Yes sir,” Teddy said, smiling at his father like everything was okay and walking up the stairs.
Severus watched him round the corner to go up the stairs before turning back to Remus.
“I’m so sorry, sir,” Remus said, feeling truly idiotic.
“I’m never going to believe you when you say you’re not able to walk to your chair again,” was what Severus chose to say in return. He brought his hand up and touched Remus’ cheek gently, it was swelling rather spectacularly and he would be surprised if his eye wasn’t forced shut a bit. His lip was split open and he appeared to be missing part of his front tooth as well.
Remus didn’t know if he was supposed to laugh or not. “I should have trusted you.”
“Perhaps,” Severus said, “though I understand why you did not.” It would take more than a few weeks of kind words and absent beatings to overcome that, he’d be suspicious if it were otherwise.
He found it difficult to be angry or even upset about the whole thing, though it was challenging not to take it personally. His own father wouldn’t have leaned over to pour a glass of water he was already holding onto him if he had been on fire right at his feet, never mind crawling across an entire house and up a flight of stairs just to try and prevent something that might be happening to him. In spite of himself, a tender emotion was rising in his chest. He had no desire to explore or encourage it, not now at least.
“Let’s get you off of the floor, hmm?” he said, his voice coming out more softly than intended.
“Yes sir,” Remus said, perplexed at Severus’ reaction, or more to say his lack of one. Even though he was so burnt out that his hair hurt, he tried to rise on his own; he still wasn’t sure how to take Snape’s earlier comment about the chair.
“I meant that I would do it for you,” Severus said quietly, his hand stopping Remus from moving any further. He took out his wand and scanned Lupin’s head. Even though he’d moved himself across the entire house, Snape was reluctant to transport him again without first checking for trauma from his fall. With his face so badly banged up anything could be possible.
“You have some swelling,” he told Lupin. “Look into the light and try not to blink.” He took his wand and pointed it so it shone a light into one and then the other of Remus’ pupils, watching for dilation and any irregularity or disparity in size.
“I’m fine, sir,” Remus protested, though he did as he was told.
“Are you really?” Severus mused. “I assume you fell?”
“Yes, sir,” Remus answered.
“What can you tell me about this fall? Are you feeling any dizziness, nausea or confusion?”
“I used the potions bench to try and pull myself up from my chair, but of course I couldn’t do it. My chin hit the desk and then I careened to the floor; my head hit it pretty hard,” Remus admitted.
“Do you realize that your face is already bruised and inflamed and that you are missing part of one of your front teeth? I assume it chipped when your chin hit the counter. I don’t know what your definition of ‘fine’ is, but my dictionary says something quite different from that.”
Remus didn’t have much to say in return, so he sat silently, feeling like a total ass.
Severus thought that perhaps he was letting his personal frustration influence his words. If he wasn’t careful he’d end up saying something he would regret later. He took a moment to clear his mind, to steady his hands and his breathing.
“Please sir, forgive me. I should have had more faith in you than that.”
It was almost funny that Remus thought that was the issue; people had been thinking worse things than this about him for his entire life. “I’m not concerned about that,” he said. “You did not fully answer my question; dizziness, nausea or confusion?”
“Dizziness and nausea, but only a little,” Remus responded. “’I’ve just overexerted myself, sir.”
“I’m certain that you did as well. However I am not convinced that is the reason for those symptoms. With how hard I’m figuring you hit the ground, I would be more concerned about a head injury than overexertion.”
Remus bowed his head. He hadn’t thought it was as bad as all of that.
“I’m going to move you now,” Severus said, going to cast the levitation spell.
“I found your cane,” Remus blurted, knowing there would be no way to hide it once Severus started to move him. He moved his leg so that it could easily be seen.
“You found the cane, did you?” Severus asked. That explained a lot. “I was wondering how you managed to make it all this way by yourself.”
“I’m sorry, sir.” Here was where things got dicey, he was sure of it.
“Quit apologizing, will you?” Severus asked, trying to keep his irritation with this whole scenario in check. “Hold onto it, please,” Severus instructed. He stuck an arm under Remus’ bent knees and the other around the mid-point of his back, standing with the near weightless man in his arms and making the short trek to the couch. He sat Remus down carefully, perching on the edge of the cushion beside him. He then called for Fred.
The elf appeared beside the couch, looking at first slightly annoyed at being called and then completely outraged when he saw the condition of Remus’ face.
“What was you thinking?” Fred cried shrilly, taking the steps needed to get closer to Remus. His long fingered hand rested on the lycanthrope’s knee. “This is not being right! Not being right at all!” His fingers petted Lupin’s knee almost absently as he looked crossly up at Snape.
Snape sighed. “Fred, I need you to – ”
“Oh,” the elf sneered, “sir is needing something is he? Well so is Fred! Fred is needing sir to remember what it is being like to live with someone who is treating him like that. There is being no excuse!”
Remus swallowed, shocked to hear a house elf speak in such a manner to their master. Fred had been cheeky, but had never spoken to Severus like this so far that he’d seen.
“I think you’re misunderstanding,” Remus began, “this is all my fault, really.”
Fred gasped. “Nothing here is being your fault,” he said to Remus. Turning back to Snape he said, “Fred was expecting better of sir! Sir is knowing there is being enough pain in life already, without needing any of this.”
“Fred, I-” Snape started.
“Sir is what? Being a bully? Sir is aware that this one is not able to be defending himself? Sir is not remembering what that was being like clearly enough?”
“Will you allow me to speak, please?” Severus asked, his patience waning. Fred always had been rather sensitive and tended to fight for the underdog. That had served him well when he’d gone to live with his grandparents; Fred had helped him on numerous occasions where if he had been found doing so, it would have cost the elf his life.
Fred crossed his arms but didn’t say anything.
Snape took this for a ‘yes’.
“Remus fell, Fred, I haven’t been using him for a punching bag. I will not exclude the probability that this at least partly my fault, though it was more from negligence than from action.”
The house elf tilted his head and gave Severus a very discerning look. He turned his gaze to Remus without saying a word.
“It’s true, I fell,” Remus said. He’d never heard any house elf speak to their master in such a fashion, although Snape didn’t seem to be too stressed out about it. “Though I don’t see how that is sir’s fault.”
Fred thought about it a moment more before withdrawing his hand and moving back a step.
“Fred is believing you,” he said at length. He moved his hand to Snape’s knee. “Sir is knowing where Fred was coming from?” he asked more timidly.
All too well. “Yes, I know,” Snape replied, squeezing the elf’s shoulder briefly. “Now, are you willing to help me?”
“Fred is being at your service,” the elf said.
“Wonderful,” Snape drawled. “I need potions number four and seventeen from the downstairs cupboard, also if you could bring Remus a drink of water, that would be greatly appreciated.”
“Of course, Fred will be doing that right away,” the elf nodded and disappeared.
“Thank you Fred,” Severus murmured to the place where the elf had been. He turned back to Remus to see the other man regarding that same spot with wide eyes. “Have I mentioned that he’s very fond of you and your son?” he said sarcastically.
“I don’t know why he’d say those things to you sir, please don’t hold it against him,” Remus said, not wanting Fred to be on Snape’s bad side for trying to stick up for him.
Severus snorted in derision. “A fat lot of good it would do me if I did. He came on the scene and made the best assessment of it that he could. And then he called me on it; little bugger doesn’t allow me to get away with much, I don’t see why this would be any different.”
“You allow him to speak to you like that?” Remus inquired.
“No one has to allow Fred to do much, not these days anyway. He’s always had a bit of an independent and rebellious streak for a house elf, though I must admit I’ve rather encouraged it over the years.”
Remus didn’t know what to say to that. It was obvious that Severus and Fred had an unusual relationship for a master and house elf, but he hadn’t thought much of it up until this point. Fred seemed to come and go as he pleased, spending Snape’s money without a second thought, actually telling Severus what to do in some cases. Not once had he witnessed Fred punishing himself either, even though Severus was clearly not always one hundred percent pleased with him. He would have to try and speak with the elf some time when they were alone, try and hear the story behind it all.
Fred appeared again at Severus’ side. In his hands were two vials and a tall glass of water. He set all of these things on the coffee table, looking at Snape more contritely than ever before.
“Anything else Fred can be doing for you?” the elf asked hopefully.
“Well yes, actually…” Severus trailed off as Teddy came into view, changed into his fresh clothes. “Teddy and I were going to finish a potion we’d started earlier, but in light of recent events I think that will best be left for later. Would you like some help making supper?” Snape asked the elf.
Teddy smiled. “I could help you!” he offered to Fred.
“Of course you is being able to help!” the elf trilled.
“Okay,” Teddy chimed, walking closer to the elf. He turned to Snape. “I heard you say we’ll finish that potion later, sir?”
Snape nodded. “I think that’s best; the ingredients will be perfectly fine the way that we left them. We’ll start again later tonight or tomorrow, if that sounds good to you.”
“That sounds great,” Teddy said.
Fred took a half step closer, peering at Severus with his large eyes. “Good. Everything is being settled here then? Everything is being okay?”
“Yes Fred, everything is okay,” Severus said. He knew that was as close to Fred would come to an open apology and that was as close as he would come to admitting forgiveness; they had it all worked out, really. “Why don’t you go get set up in the kitchen and in the meantime Teddy can sit with his father? I’m going to clean up in the lab, though it shouldn’t take me long.”
Fred clapped his hands once. “Alright! Everything is being ready shortly,” he declared, exiting the room.
“Here,” Severus said, holding out the glass of water to Remus. “Your body could use the extra fluids after all of the work it’s done today.”
Remus took the glass, draining it thirstily and taking a sigh of relief when he was done. Severus took it from him. “I also would like you to drink this; it will help with any internal inflammation that may be occurring.” He handed Remus an orange hued potion in a clear glass bottle. Lupin tipped it back without a thought.
“Thank you, sir,” the lycanthrope said, avoiding his eyes.
So they were back to ‘sir’. “You’re welcome, Remus,” he responded. He signaled for Teddy to come closer. He stood as the boy neared, directing him to sit by his father in the seat that he had previously been occupying.
“I trust you can keep your father company for a few minutes?” Severus asked him.
“Yes sir,” Teddy replied. “Are you sure that you don’t want me to help you clean it up?”
“No, child,” Severus said, “when I return you can go help Fred if you like, though.”
“Okay,” Teddy said, making himself more comfortable on the sofa.
“I won’t be gone long,” Severus said, turning and leaving the room.
Remus slung his aching arm over Teddy’s shoulder, drawing him closer.
It really didn’t take him long to get it all cleaned up. Severus used magic to take care of most of the mess left by the broken jar of spines, rinsing the stones off with soapy water afterwards and spelling them dry again. He took a moment to be thankful that Remus hadn’t decided to try crawling over the sharp debris on his way up the stairs – it was the only thing that Snape could think of that would have made his actions more dramatic.
Snape cast the spell needed to bring the piece of Lupin’s tooth to him. It landed in his hand and he was surprised to see the size of the thing. From a drawer in the work station he selected a small glass vial with a cork stopper and placed the portion of tooth in there for safe keeping. He set the vial on the counter and continued tidying.
Everything else was easy enough to straighten up. He left the ingredients for the potion out, cleaning and sanitizing the station he and Teddy had been working at, as well as all of their tools. The cauldron got a stasis spell and was set off to the side with the ingredients.
When he was done he sat at one of the tall benches, wanting to give Remus and Teddy a few more moments to speak with each other in private. It also sounded like an excellent idea for him to take a moment for himself.
It was impossible to say that he hadn’t felt some level of disgruntlement upon recognizing that Remus hadn’t trusted him, but to see the extent that trust was lacking had been a bit of an eye opener. Severus reminded himself that this wasn’t a sign that he had failed, only that there was many things hindering them still. On the other hand he acknowledged the progress they had made already, reminded himself that every time they went through something like this, it brought them closer to a peaceful existence. Or he hoped that it did, at any rate.
If he were being honest with himself (which he was valiantly trying not to do), he would end up admitting that what bothered him most about the entire situation was that he had thought that somehow, despite everything, Remus and he were forging some kind of connection. But who in their right mind would willingly ally with a person they thought would, at the mere drop of a hat, take the thing they treasured most and brutalize it?
So really, this all boiled down to the fact that he had his metaphorical nose out of joint and was feeling spurned like some soft-headed teenage girl because Remus hadn’t trusted him.
Snape realized that he was scowling and took a minute to clear his mind. There was no way he was going to continue to allow this incident to bother him for a second longer. He stood and straightened his robes, deciding that everyone had had enough time and it was past due to deal with the situation.
He went up the stairs, past Fred and into the living room. Teddy and Remus were snuggled up together on the couch, Lupin’s arms were around the boy and his head rested on his son’s. His closed eyes opened to look guiltily over at him as he walked into the room, whereas Teddy just smiled shyly at him. He did his best to give the boy a pleasant, or in the very least a neutral expression in return.
“Everything is all sorted out down there; we’ll take up brewing that potion again tomorrow,” he told Teddy.
“We’ll have it done in time?” Teddy asked, his hand coming to rest on his father’s arm.
“Yes we will, don’t fear.” Severus said. “Once we really get going, the brew time is actually quite short.”
He noted the child’s motion, wondering if he wasn’t more interested in having it completed for his father’s sake than his own. Teddy frequently seemed to think of his father first, wanting to spare him physical or emotional hardship. This was probably all a part of Macnair’s plan, and once Teddy was old enough to suit his preferences, he would have turned the tables on them and allowed the young man to buy his father’s continued safety, charging whatever price he wanted.
His face softened as he continued to look at the boy, though he shook his head as if that would clear such thoughts out of his mind. He wished it would, because Teddy was safe from such manipulations now, or he was as long as the boy stayed here, as long as he belonged to him.
“Would you prefer to stay here with your father or go and assist Fred in the kitchen?” he asked, giving the boy a chance to stay if he wished.
Teddy snuck a look up at Remus, who caught him doing so.
“You go ahead and have fun with Fred,” he said, smiling and trying not to wince at the pain he felt in his face at the action. “Don’t you worry about me, Teddy.”
Teddy didn’t look entirely convinced, but he hugged his father quickly and stood up all the same. “Okay dad,” he said at last, exiting into the kitchen.
Severus sat on the seat Teddy had just vacated. He looked over at Remus, who could only be described as looking weary. Leaning forward, he picked up the second potion Fred had brought as well as a book. Both of these things he set aside on the wide arm of the sofa. He turned towards Remus, finding the other man leaning heavily against the back of the couch, his head reclined on it as well, his eyes closed. He wondered if the sandy haired man was merely exhausted, or if he just had no desire to confront the situation he now found himself in.
Snape briefly touched his fingers to Lupin’s thigh to get his attention. The other man’s head snapped up and his eyes opened, looking around wildly before seeing him sitting placidly there.
“I’m sorry, sir,” Remus said immediately, rubbing at his eyes, “I must have fallen asleep again.”
“It’s no wonder; your body is likely exhausted. We’ll turn in early tonight, if you even make it that far.”
Remus sighed. He almost wished that Severus would show him some anger over what he’d done, not just pretend that everything was fine and continue on as normal. The disappointment he’d observed in his eyes earlier had been somehow worse than having his master rage at him. He wished he could sleep now and let reality just dissolve away for a few hours. Unbidden, his eyes closed again.
Snape was unsure whether this lethargy that was showing itself in Remus was because of exhaustion or some combination of emotions. He mentally shrugged, it almost made no difference as time would smooth it over regardless of the cause. He was sure that Lupin was doing the best that he could, and years of learning a way of life didn’t just go away overnight. All he would need to do would be to calm himself and find more patience. If he could grade first year essays for all those years, surely he could deal with one man’s uncertainty for a while longer?
Seeing that his eyes were closed and his neck craned awkwardly so his head could rest on the couch, Snape pulled lightly on Remus’ arm. Lupin’s eyes opened in much the same startled way they had when he’d sat on the sofa a few minutes ago. He tugged on Remus arm again so he was led sideways a little.
“Sir?” Remus asked.
“Just lay down, Lupin,” he said, frustration showing just a little. He wanted to tell Remus not to call him anything if he wasn’t going to use his name, but he bit his tongue. Severus urged him to lay so that his head would rest on his lap – that way Lupin would be more comfortable and he would be able to apply some salve to the flourishing bruises across his face.
“Now sir?” Remus asked again, an odd expression on his face.
“Yes now, you silly werewolf,” he replied, shaking his head and pulling Lupin further down by his far shoulder.
Remus seemed to catch on, drawing his legs up onto the cushion and resting his uninjured cheek against Snape’s thigh.
Severus turned to retrieve the potion he’d set to the side earlier, pausing to roll up his sleeves as he did. He felt Remus shifting, trying to get comfortable he presumed.
Suddenly it was clear to him that Remus was doing more than just smoothing or rearranging the robes under his cheek. He was pulling them aside, turning so he was on his stomach, one hand finding the clasp for Snape’s trousers, the other wiggling into them with very little effort and going straight for his cock. Stifling a yelp, Severus jumped in surprise at more than just cold fingers closing around him.
“What are you doing?” he whispered harshly, not wanting to call attention from the kitchen.
Remus recoiled, looking up at him shamefacedly. “Forgive me, sir, I thought you wanted me to-”
Snape wondered if the expression on his face stopped Lupin dead in the middle of his sentence.
Remus removed his hands from Snape’s body, pressing his forehead into his leg to hide his eyes.
Unable to stop himself, Severus carded his fingers through Remus’ hair, his hand coming to rest on the back of his neck, fingers stroking lightly across the smooth skin there. He marveled over the fact that here he sat, an attractive man laying against him who would, at the slightest provocation, more than likely have gratified him right here in the living room. He wanted to laugh, as if any of that had anything to do with him. Macnair had made sure that Remus believed this was all he had left, that he had nothing more to offer anyone. It was now his job to guide Remus back to the knowledge that this was not true.
“I wanted you to lay down, to rest,” Severus said, stroking through Lupin’s hair a second time. “I still want that.”
Remus didn’t move or respond.
“Turn and look at me,” he said. It sounded like an instruction, but he knew the bond wouldn’t interpret it as such. When Remus didn’t react again he continued quietly, “I don’t know what you’re so afraid you’ll see.”
Remus slowly turned so that he was lying on his back. This would make it more difficult for him to avoid eye contact, but that appeared to be what Severus wanted. His embarrassment from the misunderstanding was beginning to fade because of Snape’s reaction, but only just. This was the second time today he’d misinterpreted something that should have been obvious. He felt like he was going backwards instead of progressing.
Severus was looking down at him with an unreadable expression. The hand that had caressed his hair earlier now settled on his chest. He held his master’s gaze as long as he could before he had to close his eyes, feeling anxiety over something he didn’t entirely understand. Thankfully Severus didn’t seem to desire an explanation or another apology at this exact moment.
The hand left his chest and he felt fingers gently probing his cheek and the corner of his eye. He knew better than to open his eyes at this point, so he left them closed. It was a small act of trust, but he had to start somewhere if he wanted to do this. He knew that trust was earned, but Severus was doing all of the work and he still wasn’t being given any.
Severus checked the bruising again, deciding that the swelling was done for the moment and he could apply the potion. He tilted Remus’ face so he could see it better.
As he unscrewed the lid of the potion he said, “You did quite a number on yourself.”
“Is it really that bad?” Remus asked, doing his best not to move.
Severus started applying the potion. “I’ve seen worse, but considering you were fighting a counter top I’d say yes, it really is that bad.”
Remus chuckled in spite of himself. “Hey, that counter top had back up! The floor took a swing at me too, don’t forget.”
Severus smiled more than smirked, but of course it was safe for him to do that with Remus’ eyes closed.
“Yes, well, you seem to be harder on yourself then I am,” Severus pointed out.
Remus’ smile warped slightly. “A self-beating slave? Think of the gains if you could market it. What a time saver.”
Severus’ fingers faltered over Remus’ cheek bone.
“Indeed,” he drawled. “I’m going to apply this over your eye lid; it would be prudent not to open it.” He swabbed his index finger cautiously over Lupin’s eye lid, rubbing it lightly in, careful to leave little excess when he was done.
“Maybe you should have been a Healer instead of a Potion’s Master,” Remus said, not able to close his teeth on his tongue fast enough to stop the comment from coming out.
“I thought about it at one point,” Severus admitted.
“Seriously?” Remus asked, fighting the urge to look up at his master.
“The two subjects are very closely intertwined,” Snape said. He closed the lid on the potion and charmed his hands clean.
“What changed your mind?” Remus asked. He pondered the different course Severus’ life would have taken if he had chosen that path instead.
“Many factors,” Severus told him. “My mother’s death stands out as being the largest one. The physicians that attended her could do nothing for her. Shortly afterwards her parents became my legal guardians; they wanted me to go into Potions – there had been a history of brewers in the family, you see. Disobedience was not an option. Not that it mattered, by the time it came for me to decide, I no longer had the desire to heal anyone.”
Remus was silent for a moment, pondering the unsaid words in that last sentence. “Well I think you would have been good at it.” He knew it sounded hollow and was probably no consolation for the other man, but he had to say it all the same.
“Thank you,” Severus said, thinking that this was insane, that they should be discussing more pressing matters than the career choice of his teenage self.
Remus sighed again.
“I think that if you are able, you should sleep until supper is ready,” Severus informed him.
“Of course, sir,” Remus replied instantly.
Severus had to immediately start to clear his mind in order to squash the anger that rose up at hearing those thoughtless words. As he went through the comforting routine of emptying all emotion from his mind, he felt everything slowing down – from his heartbeat to his respiration. Without the ability to do this, he would likely still be the bitter, hateful person he’d been for most of his life.
This ability had been taught to him from a young age. Usually one would clear one’s mind only when practicing Occluding or when one actually had to Occlude – so after the mind was emptied of one thing, something else was immediately pushed to the forefront. Usually this would be another memory, emotion or series of the two. While this ability had obviously benefited him in his life, as was obvious by the fact that he was still alive, he had found that he’d not been using it to its full potential.
Now, when he felt the scalding magma of his anger fighting to burst out of him, he cleared his mind and left it at that. It had been the first and only way he’d ever discovered to feel at peace and then remain that way. It wasn’t perfect, but it gave him a chance to respond to people and situations that were difficult with a little bit of thought rather than just throwing verbal acid in their faces like he’d done for most of his life.
He came out of his thoughts to find his fingers still smoothing through Remus’ hair, the other man asleep, face pressed up against his thigh.
He’d been intending on doing some reading, but ended up sitting there and doing little more than taking in Remus’ appearance. He really was filling out quite well, though Severus wasn’t sure exactly how much weight he’d put on since his arrival. The bruise across his cheek and under his eye was a dark and nasty colour, puffy and tender looking; yet even with it marring his face there was no question that the other man was gorgeous.
He placed his thumb over the split in Lupin’s lip and expended the small amount of energy required to seal it shut. Remus stirred in sleep, but Snape doubted he’d felt anything other than the mindful touch and a bit of warmth at the spell doing its task.
The tooth was another story. He had some adhesive with magical properties that he’d used to bind a few of his own teeth back together. Since he’d found the piece already all it would take was applying some of the glue and placing the chip correctly back in the place that it had broken off from.
He allowed one hand to rest on Remus’ chest again, this time rubbing his thumb with careful pressure along the underside of his collar bone, feeling the tightness of the muscles there.
Remus sighed but didn’t wake.
That was fine with Severus, who carried on his halfhearted massage until an unknown time later when Fred stuck his head into the room.
“Supper is being ready soon,” the elf told him.
“I’ll wake Remus up and we’ll be there shortly,” Severus replied, looking up to realize that Fred had disappeared back into the kitchen already.
Rolling his eyes at the elf, he set about the daunting task of waking Lupin up without startling him. His one hand back in the center of Remus’ chest, he swiped the fingers of his other hand delicately over the other man’s forehead, brushing the hair out of his eyes and saying his name softly once.
Even being roused in such a way appeared to wake Remus with a quick shock. He tried to sit up, eyes wide and lips open with a gasp.
Severus held his hand firm on the other man’s chest, preventing him from rising too quickly. With how he had damaged his head earlier, the vertigo would more than likely have been amplified.
Remus took two deep gasps for air and surveyed his surroundings. Finding himself in the living room with Snape beside him, he began to relax. He allowed Severus to push him back, discovering that he had been using the taller man’s thigh as a pillow. The events of the day came back to him and he smiled uncertainly up at Severus for lack of anything better to do.
“Orient yourself for a moment,” Severus told him, hand still holding him in place. “I’ll help you sit up. I’d like to fix your tooth before we eat supper, which Fred and your son are almost done making.”
Remus’ mouth parted slightly, tongue testing his broken tooth uncertainly.
“We can fix it?” he asked.
“Yes, easily enough. How do you think I have all of my teeth in tact? Well, most of them anyway,” the corners of his lips twitched humorlessly.
He was missing one molar he wasn’t about to mention now, which he’d extracted it himself shortly after Riddle’s return, only to put a hollow one in its place that he had filled with a poison strong enough to have killed a small elephant. The fact that it hadn’t broken open accidentally as well as that he never had to use it had been a miracle. All that was left of it presently was an empty space in the back of his mouth.
“Okay,” Remus said, “should we go now, sir?”
“The sooner the better; Fred’s already given me hell once today, I’ll really hear it if I bring you late for supper.”
The sarcasm in that was so heavy that even Remus didn’t question it. He moved to sit up, which was obviously the first step. His whole body felt like one giant bruise, that much became clear immediately. Thankfully, Severus assisted him into a sitting position, helping him rise as well as turn and move his feet to the floor.
“I’ll be back with the chair. If you’re feeling up to it, this evening we can try out the cane, or tomorrow even.” Snape shrugged. “That part is not essential; what is important is that you gather your strength for the full moon.”
Remus knew that he was right and cursed himself again for his actions earlier.
“I’ll be right back,” Severus said. He quickly went back down to the lab, collecting the adhesive, the piece of tooth and, levitating the chair up the stairs behind himself, went back to see Remus straight away. Teddy and Fred were setting the table, their happy chatter followed him back into the living room.
Without debate, Severus magically moved Lupin from the couch back to his chair.
“Now, for that tooth,” he said, moving nearer to Remus. He took the adhesive and opened the cap, applying it to the chip with a brush that was attached to the lid.
“Open wide,” he smirked, moving in.
Remus did as instructed, tilting his head back and opening his mouth as far as he was able.
Severus reached in, putting the chip back in place, moving it around until he felt everything grind into its proper place. He held it there for a few seconds with firm pressure, before releasing it and stepping back.
“There,” he said with finality.
“That was it?” Remus chimed.
“Simple as that. You should be able to eat and drink normally now, that glue works in a matter of seconds.”
“Thank you, sir,” Remus said. He’d never heard of anything that fast acting and didn’t ask where Snape had come across it.
“You’re ready to go and eat supper now?”
“Of course, sir,” Remus repeated instantly.
“I think we have established enough rapport by now that you can call me by my name,” Severus said gently.
“Sorry, Severus,” Lupin hung his head.
“There is no need to apologize, Remus,” Severus started, “nothing dramatic has changed between us; so, please, don’t close yourself off like this. I understand the motivations for your actions, at least as much as is possible for one without a child of their own. Everything can be discussed later; as for now, we can go and eat a pleasant supper with your son, and I don’t see why either of us would wish to squander that opportunity for any reason, let alone over a couple of misconstructions.”
Remus shifted in his seat. “You’re right,” he agreed. “I suppose I am- was- just expecting… well, something more.” That was an understatement. He’d been waiting for a reaction from Severus since the other man had found him lying on the living room floor. He’d been so prepared for whatever was coming to him that he had read way too much into Snape trying to make him comfortable and made a fool of himself. A least Severus didn’t seem inclined to rub it in his face, no pun intended.
“Please, stop expecting it then. We can-”
“You two is coming?” Fred appeared in the doorway again.
“Yes, we’re coming,” Severus answered. He waited for Fred to disappear back into the kitchen before turning to Remus. “We can deal with all of this later, but rest easy – I am feeling no anger towards you, if that was something you needed to hear.”
“Thank you, Severus.”
Snape grunted in response, not finding his lack of an overreaction to be worthy of Lupin’s gratitude. He levitated Remus’ chair and walked them both into the kitchen, where Teddy was already seated at the table, which was set.
Remus didn’t say much through supper, though he seemed much more at ease than earlier. Teddy was very excited about the meal – a whole cut up chicken that he had helped Fred season and roast in the oven, accompanied by a pasta dish and some steamed green beans.
Everything would have felt quite normal, if Remus hadn’t been avoiding his glance and if Teddy hadn’t kept looking up to study Remus’ bruised face when he thought no one was watching. Fred shuffled around the kitchen, throwing in random bits of conversation here and there while cleaning up and starting the dishes.
When they were done eating, Teddy wanted to help Fred finish the clean-up and Severus saw no reason to stop him. While he was doing that, Severus took Remus back into the living room, moving him to the couch and helping him to get comfortable. He gave Remus his book and sat back to read for a while himself.
When Teddy emerged from the kitchen, he expressed interest in playing with some of the clay they had used the other day. Snape thought that this was a good idea, if only because it was almost the first thing other than colouring that Teddy seemed interested in that wasn’t his studies. He went and retrieved the container of clay and cleared off the coffee table for the boy to work on.
Teddy got busy directly. Glancing over to find Remus asleep with his book opened on his lap, Severus carefully took the tome and closed it, setting out of everyone’s way. Lupin barely even twitched when he lifted his head to stick a thin pillow under it to adjust the angle of his neck – he’d be sore enough later without adding further trouble to the mix.
He even had time to make a little headway in his own reading, though he found himself peeking over the top of his book to watch Teddy sculpt with the play clay more than he was actually looking at the pages of his book.
Some time had gone by, and after witnessing the young boy yawn more than a couple of times, he suggested that he go and get into his sleeping attire after taking his potion. He went and collected the boy’s portion of the Wolfsbane, giving it to him and sending him upstairs to change.
While Teddy scampered off to do just that, he cleaned up the clay and sealed it back in its container before settling back into his own spot on the sofa.
Teddy came back downstairs once he was changed. Snape saw immediately that he appeared loath to come closer and had something held behind his back. He pretended not to have noticed , and sure enough, Teddy eventually came to sit beside him, pushing The Hobbit in his direction cautiously, as if this might be crossing the line after everything that had happened that day.
Severus took it, gesturing for the boy to come closer. He didn’t expect Teddy to squish right against his side slowly, inch by inch as he began the story where they had left off last.
It took two chapters, but he finally felt the boy sag against him, his head leant up against his bicep, small snores beginning to escape his lips. He closed the book, not moving for a moment. Eventually he looked over to see Remus scrutinizing him from the other side of the sofa, seemingly having woken an indeterminate amount of time earlier.
“I was just thinking of putting him to bed,” he said..
“He does look pretty beat,” Remus granted, observing his son.
Severus nodded his agreement and stood, bringing Teddy with him as he went. He was glad that he was finally catching on to the proper way to pick up and carry a child – he barely had to reposition the boy at all when he was standing. Supporting Teddy in one hand, he levitated Remus to his chair, making the piece of furniture follow him up the stairs.
Putting Teddy to bed was an easy affair, the child didn’t even wake as Snape tucked him under the covers. The little boy sighed in contentment and wiggled further under the blankets as soon as Severus had retreated.
“Would you like to sit with him for a while?” Severus asked, realizing it was an offer he hadn’t made in a while. He’d always loved to sit and watch Draco sleep when he was small. Perhaps because although he’d known that the boy wouldn’t be raised to be so, that then, at that exact point in time he was tranquil and innocent. Also, it had been the only time the little beggar had ever stopped asking him questions.
Remus leaned in and looked at Teddy intently, running his hand over the child’s forehead. He then sat back in his chair.
“That’s alright, I’ll see him tomorrow,” he said. He knew it was true. His guilt for earlier compounded on itself.
“If that is what you wish,” Snape nodded. He levitated the chair and took them out of the room, closing the door most of the way and leaving the light on in the hall. Then he continued onward, moving them into his room and setting Remus by the fire.
Disappearing into the attached loo, he began to run another bath, pouring an even larger dose of the healing potions than he had earlier in the day into the basin. Even with this, Lupin would probably be in quite a bit of discomfort tomorrow, but he would do all he could.
Returning to the other room, he knelt and began to stoke a fire. When he had a small flame going strong enough to remain without tending, he pulled himself upright and looked over at Remus, finding the man staring back at him though his body rested limply against the chair.
“I’m running you another bath,” Severus said, wondering how Lupin would take the news.
“Another bath?” Remus asked, looking at him warily.
Snape thought the expression on the other man’s face read as if he expected him to now announce that that bath was in some kind of horribly corrosive substance.
“I know of no other way to medicate your entire body so quickly or efficiently,” he said calmly. “Plus it will give you further time alone to adjust to the fact that there will be no consequences for Teddy’s actions or for yours.”
“I should have known that from the beginning,” Remus said. If he sounded angry, it was directed only at himself. “I don’t understand how you can see my actions as anything other than a direct insult after how you’ve treated us.”
“Then I will not ask you to understand, not now at any rate, but to accept. Accept that tonight will finish as calmly as most other nights and tomorrow will begin afresh. You wished to protect Teddy at any cost, and I quite respect that, even though that threat existed nowhere but in your mind and in the mind of your son. You’ve already administered far more damage to yourself than your actions warranted – I believe that we should strive to move forward, and right now that means putting this behind us.”
Remus nodded slowly. “If you say so, Severus; my knee jerk reaction was to immediately believe something else, but that doesn’t mean I don’t want to trust you.”
“Good,” Severus said. He levitated the chair and brought Remus into the steamy bathroom.
“Are you going to join me in here this time?” Remus asked.
“Not this time; even if it is only for a short while, I think you should enjoy a few moments by yourself. I know you’re already tired, so I’ll charm your head to stay above the water. There will be a pitcher there to rinse your hair with. If you need me, I will just be in here, so I will hear you call.”
“Alright,” Remus said. That plan actually sounded good to him. It would give him time to recharge without worrying if he was doing something wrong or wondering what Severus was thinking.
Severus helped him to undress and levitated him into the water, casting the charm that would prevent him from drowning himself inadvertently. He could tell instantly that the potions content of this bath was higher than the last one he’d taken. His strained muscles eased up almost instantly, the cramping in his legs, arms and abdomen stopped as he felt his entire body loosen itself.
“You’ll be alright from here?” Severus asked.
“Yes, thank you,” Remus sighed.
“I’ll be back to see how you’re doing in a while,” Severus said, turning and leaving the room.
Remus wished there was something he could say to the other man that would express his relief and gratitude, but any words that came into his mind were lackluster and hollow compared to how he was actually feeling. He stayed silent and watched Severus’ back as he retreated back into the bedroom potion of the suite.
Severus changed into a pair of sleeping bottoms and donned his robe, sitting in front of the fire with a taller than usual glass of Scotch in his hand, ice cubes tinkling so merrily he wished they would melt already, though they would water down the taste.
Taking a trip inside of his mind, he sorted out the events of the day as best as he was able, placing everything neatly away back where it belonged so that he could be more rational about it all. When he thought about having to discuss everything with Remus, thrilled was about the furthest word from his mind, but that didn’t mean it didn’t need to happen, no matter the path the conversation took.
Before long he found himself filling his glass again, sitting back and half wondering how he had come to this exact place in his life; the answers were the same as they always had been though the situation may have changed. He continued to revel in his moment of solitude, draining his glass without coming to any startling revelations about his life or anyone else’s. He set the now empty vessel aside and stood, deciding Remus must have soaked in there long enough to get as much benefit as he would ever get.
He pushed the door to the bathroom the rest of the way open, finding Remus lying back in the tub much the same as he had left him, only now his hair appeared to have been wetted and there were the remnants of soapy bubbles floating along the surface of the water. Lupin’s head rested on the ledge of the tub, his hands were folded across his stomach and his eyes were closed, face upturned towards the ceiling.
He walked up to the edge of the tub, watching as Remus opened his eyes and blinked up at him sluggishly.
“Ready to get out of there?” he asked.
“Yes, thank you. It’s a good thing you charmed me so I couldn’t dunk my head under the water or I suspect I would have drowned myself out of contentment some time ago.”
“There are worse ways to go,” Severus said, spelling the tub to begin draining.
He pulled a large towel from the shelf and unfolded it with a quick flick of his wrists, setting it over his shoulder while he levitated Lupin from the tub’s basin, steadying him with one hand until he rested against the porcelain lip. He cast a spell to dry Lupin’s body, and transferred him back to the chair. There, he toweled the other man’s hair without even stopping to consider the fact that he was well enough to do it for himself.
Severus moved Remus with him back into the bedroom, walking them past the fireplace and over to the bed. He assisted Lupin into some basic sleep wear, depositing the clothes he was wearing into the laundry.
“If you wish, you can lay down immediately,” Severus offered. He knew that his own mind would allow him little rest presently. He would more than likely read by the fire if nothing else. He could be more productive down in the lab, but if Teddy needed something he wanted to be close at hand. Also, if he was being truthful with himself, he had no real desire to be productive at all, so sitting up here would suit him perfectly.
“As opposed to?” Remus asked.
“As opposed to sitting up for a bit,” Severus answered. “I’m not ready to retire quite yet.”
Remus thought about what to do. On one hand, he was sure he could sleep, while on the other he felt invigorated after that bath and wouldn’t mind some normal time alone with Severus, just to be sure that everything was fine. There were a couple of questions bouncing about in his head that had been collecting all day, but he wasn’t sure he would find the courage to ask them.
“I might stay up for a while, if that’s acceptable.”
“Very,” Severus said. He levitated Remus nearer to the fire. He came and sat on the other side of the small end table from Remus, taking up the bottle and pouring himself another tall glass. He proffered the bottle to Remus in silent inquiry.
“Not tonight, I don’t think,” Remus said.
Snape shrugged and set the bottle aside.
“Would a hot cup of tea be more to your liking?” he asked Remus.
Lupin inspected that question for any traces of derision; finding none he answered cautiously, “There’s no need for that, Severus; I’m content to just sit here and watch the fire.”
All Severus heard was Remus telling him not to bother or go out of his way, he didn’t hear that he wasn’t interested in some tea.
“Nonsense,” he said. He called for Fred, who appeared at his side.
“Hello sirs,” Fred smiled toothily, seeing both of them comfortable by the fire.
“Hello,” Severus greeted, “think we might bother you for a pot of tea?”
“So sir isn’t going to be needing that any more then?” Fred asked, gesturing at the bottle and frowning in disapproval.
“We’ll see about that,” Severus smirked.
“Fred could always be hoping,” the elf muttered, disappearing from the room.
Snape rolled his eyes, his gaze landing on Remus. “He really doesn’t like it when I drink,” he stated the obvious.
“I noticed,” Remus smiled. “He didn’t say anything the other night when we were having a glass of wine.”
“Wine with supper is perfectly acceptable, encouraged even – it acts as a pallet cleanser, allowing you to more completely appreciate the flavors of the dish you’re eating. He sees very little use for spirits, however.” Severus had a sip as if in protest of that very statement.
“He served your grandparents before you, correct? Did your grandfather have an affinity for it?” Remus had no idea what he was doing asking this question.
“No, he didn’t drink.” He hadn’t needed to – he’d already been mean enough without any of that. “Tobias, my father did however, and though Fred only encountered him a number of times, I believe it had quite a profound effect on him.”
Remus watched Snape have another long drink from his glass during the extended pause their conversation took after Severus’ admission. He hadn’t been expecting an actual answer and getting one had thrown him rather off track. He continued to stay quiet, wanting to see if the closed lipped man would continue if left uninterrupted.
“Tobias was not a caring individual, even when he happened to be sober,” Severus said, taking another drink like it could wash the taste of his father’s name from his mouth. “I never once saw a hint of compassion or remorse forthcoming from that man for the things he did to my mother or me… I spent all of my childhood telling myself that I would be nothing like him. But of course we all know how the rest of that story goes.”
Sometime while Severus was speaking, Fred appeared back in the room carrying a fully laden tea tray. Supporting the tray in one hand, the elf cleared the small table with his other, moving Snape’s glass and his bottle as far to the side as he could. He was focused on what he was doing, but it was obvious that he was listening very closely to what Snape was saying all the same.
“Today, when I found Teddy hiding in the sitting room, I wasn’t positive if I felt more like him, or less.”
Fred, who was positioning everything on the table, dropped a spoon he was holding.
“Sir was finding him in the sitting room?” the elf asked.
“Yes, earlier this afternoon.”
“Where was he being?” Fred asked, trepidation in his voice.
“He was hiding in the seat of the bay window. Do you have any idea how he could have gotten in there?” Some of his unhappiness with the situation may have bled through into his tone of voice.
Fred’s large eyes grew wider; he took a corner of his long ear and began to twist it absently in his fingers.
“Fred was cleaning in there the other day,” the elf lamented, the twisting motion he was applying to his ear grew more violent. “Fred was forgetting to close it back up!” Fred grew visibly agitated, now twisting his ear mercilessly.
Severus sat forward immediately, taking Fred’s wrists in his fingers and carefully pulling his hands away from his ear.
“You do not have to do that anymore, remember?” Severus reminded him firmly holding Fred’s long fingered hand in his own. This was the first time he’d seen the elf do something like this in a very long time. Severus wondered if he was even aware he was doing it.
Fred appeared to come to, recognizing what he had been doing. His ears drooped and his shoulders heaved with a sigh. “It is not easy to be remembering, not always,” Fred said.
“I know that you didn’t intend for it to happen; a short time ago it would not have made any difference if it was sealed shut, since it was just you and I here. Honestly, with all of the help you have given me in my life, I’ll not chastise you over what essentially equates to a cushion out of place.”
“It is being more than that sir,” Fred sail solemnly.
“Perhaps,” Snape allowed. “But it is not so much that it could get between two friends, is it?”
Fred’s ears perked up, his eyes shining as his entire demeanor changed.
“Sir and Fred are – friends?” he asked, his head tilting to the side.
“I would certainly say so,” Severus said. His face took on a mischievous look. “Why else would you have put up with me for all these years?”
“Fred is thinking that there could be no other reason,” the elf agreed with a sigh. His hands came up to rest on his hips as he looked at Severus with an expression that clearly said ‘what am I going to do with you?’
“Well there you have it, then,” Snape said with finality, leaning back into his chair.
Fred waited, possibly to see if Severus would have anything further to say on the matter. Finally he asked, “Is there anything else Fred can be doing?”
“Not tonight, Fred. You may as well retire, or do whatever suits your preferences. I think we’re not too far from doing just that ourselves.” He snuck a look over at Remus, who appeared to be absorbed in pouring and preparing his cup of tea.
Fred nodded his agreement, patting Snape’s knee three times before disappearing from the room.
Snape picked up his glass as soon as the elf was out of sight.
“It’s been a trying day for him,” he said, not pointing out the obvious, which was that it had been a trying day for all of them.
Remus had been attempting to clear something up in his own thoughts for a few minutes now. He decided to just get it out in the open, since Severus still appeared quite relaxed.
“Now, maybe I’m missing something here, but I find it interesting that he was more concerned about leaving that bench unsealed than with how he spoke to you earlier today.” There; that way it didn’t sound like a question at least.
“That was because he knew that I would find the latter more upsetting than the former.” Severus took another sip from his glass, topping it up when he was done.
Remus drank his tea and waited for Severus to continue; so far this seemed to be the approach that garnered him the most information.
“When I first moved back in here, Fred came to serve me almost immediately. It was my understanding that he had been in the manor for many years, the last few of which he spent alone. He was still very much in line with my Grandmother’s ideas of service and the penalties for not serving correctly. It took him a long time to be able to put those behind him.
“One of the first things I did when I came back here, other than to clean this place out, was to close up that bench and seal it shut magically. It was a symbolic act, completely meaningless other than to appease my own negative feelings about the thing. After, the rest of the day was a complete waste as I promptly proceeded to get blind drunk. Fred must have understood the significance because he didn’t say anything about it either that night or the next day.”
“I’ve already told you that my father was neither a kind nor a forgiving person,” Severus said. He’d already decided to have this conversation with Remus for the sake of their continued trust, despite the fact that it would make him highly uncomfortable and more than likely a little ashamed.
“Yes, you did,” Remus said. Harry had inferred the same thing years ago, after his and Snape’s incident with the pensive, but he had never elaborated. Looking back, it had never really been hard to surmise that Severus had had a difficult time at home, even as a child. Not that any of them had known or cared what to look for when they were that age.
“Yes, well I’m afraid that doesn’t totally encompass the situation. He was quite a spectacular drunk, looking back at it; and when he was soused he tended to be much harder to please. Or more like impossible not to anger.”
Severus took a long pull from his glass, trying to ignore the irony of his slight intoxication while describing the man who had sired him.
“He beat both of us, my mother and me, though after the story so far, I’m sure that doesn’t surprise you. I found that if I regularly pissed him off, he’d leave her alone more often than not. He already kicked the spit out of me for the slightest infraction, from my earliest possible memory onward. When he really wanted to emphasize his control, afterwards he’d take me and lock me in the window bench; back then he’d had a padlock on it, the only key around his neck at all times. Sometimes he’d leave me in there for days.”
Remus couldn’t help himself, though he knew he shouldn’t say anything, not yet. “Days? He didn’t let you out to feed you or let you use the loo?”
Severus shook his head.
“He’d let me out when he was ready, and never a minute before. When I was smaller there was room to move around in there, but as I slowly grew older and taller it became a challenge for him to even fit me in there, until one day, thankfully, I didn’t fit at all.”
Remus swallowed, it sounded loud to his own ears, knowing that Severus’ sparse statement said probably left volumes unsaid about what he had endured as a boy. He tried to imagine what it would have been like to be trapped in a space so small you barely fit into it at all and then laying there, thirsty and covered in your own fluids for days… He took a moment to pray that what had happened to his son wasn’t even an echo of this.
“How old were you?” He was almost afraid to ask, Severus had always been rather tall.
“Twelve, when I no longer fit,” Severus said. “But by that point it wasn’t so much of a victory – I was at school most of the year anyway. It was my mother who was left behind with him.”
“Why did she stay with him?” Remus blurted. He couldn’t imagine not wanting to kill someone who did that to his child.
“There was little choice. My grandparents had, shall we say – relocated – her and Tobias here when it came to their attention that she was with child. It was the life she had chosen and they didn’t allow her a way out of it. More than likely it was my Grandmother’s way of punishing her for tarnishing the family’s image with the rest of Pureblooded society as well as for ruining the Purity of the Prince line.”
“So she lived out her entire life with him?” Remus asked. It seemed a cruel and enduring punishment, at least from his perspective.
“Yes, though it was ended rather abruptly at the end of our fourth year.”
Remus set his teacup back on the platter. “You mean that she died?”
“She did – it was never investigated, but I believe Tobias killed her. It is of no consequence now, but then it felt imperative, probably because term was over and I came back here to live with him for an entire month before my Grandparents decided that I was their best and only option for an heir. They picked me up and I went to live with them at the manor until I graduated from Hogwarts.” That would be a story for another time, if ever.
Remus let out a loud exhale of breath and ran his hands over his face. He’d been the dark haired boy’s partner in Potions for half of that year and he’d had no idea that he’d lost his mother in such a fashion over the summer, no, before term had even ended. How was that possible?
“Severus, I had no idea…”
“You weren’t supposed to; no one was. I never – I’ve very rarely discussed this with anyone, for a myriad of reasons. I know that I could order you not to speak of it with anyone, but instead, for the sake of trust, I will request that you keep what I’ve told you to yourself, especially where Potter is concerned. The brat knows more than enough about me already.”
“I would never share your secrets, Severus,” Remus said, meeting his eye levelly. “Least of all with someone you had so much conflict with. I feel privileged that you would share this with me, despite the fact that it was probably difficult. ” Privileged was an understatement.
Snape almost believed him. He gave a curt nod to show that he found both the answer and the sentiment behind it acceptable. Downing the rest of his drink in two large gulps, he leaned forward and grabbed the poker, stirring the embers of the fire.
“Perhaps that will give you further insight into some of the reasons that I will not treat your son harshly. I doubt that one story can completely assuage your fears, but I hope that it will be yet another step in the direction we wish to go.”
Remus took a sip of his tea to buy himself a moment, only to find that his cup was empty. He busied himself in pouring another, setting everything back on the tray the way it had been. What could he say in return?
“I can definitely agree with that,” Remus said.
It gave him insight into more than just Snape’s treatment of his son. It gave him a sliver of light to shine onto the man’s motivations and reasoning, a grasp on one thread in the rope that had pulled him to where he was today. It made Remus’ heart ache to think that during those years of his father’s abuse, Hogwarts could have been a refuge to a young Severus, but it hadn’t been so, the Marauders simply hadn’t allowed it.
“I don’t really know what else to say,” Remus admitted.
Severus shrugged. “You aren’t required to say anything, Remus; you never are.”
“Maybe not, but I want to. I recognize that you’ve been working to earn my trust since the very start, but in spite of that I haven’t been giving you any in return. At first I thought you just wanted me to trust you so that you could turn it around on me, use it against me somehow – but I no longer believe that to be the case; I haven’t for a while now. That doesn’t mean that everything will go smoothly, as was made obvious by today, but you have to know I’m trying.” How many times had he needed to assure Severus of the fact that he was putting in an effort? Probably because from where his master stood, this wouldn’t look like trying at all; how could it?
Severus poured himself a cup of tea, adding a splash of spirits to the cup before turning his attention back to Remus.
“That much is evident,” Severus said, testing his drink. The smoky flavor of the Scotch complimented the tea well and would hopefully calm him enough that he could lie down.
“It is?” Remus asked.
“Very much so. You may not notice as much, but I can see it clearly. You are becoming more confident here, and I think with me as well. Things like this do not happen overnight, not after what you have survived – but despite that I am overall pleased with your progress. Is everything perfect, are you one hundred per cent yourself again at this very moment? No, but I believe you are making fairly swift advancement towards it, all things considered.”
Remus couldn’t help himself. “Me being myself would make things perfect in your mind? Now there is something I never thought I’d hear you say.”
Severus smirked. “Fine then; we’ll see about perfect. All I know is that it would be preferable to you quietly assenting to everything I say.”
“Who’d have thought Severus Snape liked conflict?” Remus said, using humor to cover his actual feelings over Snape’s last comment. What he experienced was warmth spreading through him and a weightlessness in his stomach. Past that he didn’t dare examine it.
“The revelation of the century, I’m sure.” Severus peered into the slowly dying fire. After a moment of silence he asked, “Would you like to lay down now?” He wasn’t tired but he suspected Remus might be and the other man didn’t seem inclined to go anywhere he wasn’t taken, so he felt the urge to at least offer.
“I think I could manage it,” Remus smiled. He was still invigorated after the long soak he’d just had, but the tea was beginning to do its job. He honestly doubted that sleep would be a problem for him after everything that had happened.
Severus drained his cup and stood, levitating Remus’ chair nearer to the bed and helping him to move from one piece of furniture to the other.
“I’m going to go and collect your Wolfsbane; try to stay awake for a couple of minutes or I’ll have to wake you when I get back up here.”
“Thank you, Severus,” Remus said, shifting to try and find a suitable position now that he was in bed.
Snape didn’t say anything as he left the room. He went straight to the lab and ladled out Remus’ potion, wasting no time in leaving the lab. He saw the cane sitting off to the side in the living room as he went back to the room. He grabbed it on his way through, perhaps in the morning Remus would be ready to give it an actual try.
Up in the room he went around to Lupin’s side of the bed, handing him the goblet immediately. Remus drained it with that pained face he always took on when consuming his potion, giving him back the empty vessel wordlessly. Snape set it to the side. He also set the cane within easy reach of the horizontal man, so that if the man felt inclined to try any more acrobatics, he would at least have the magical device to assist him.
Severus walked around to his side of the bed and sat down, sliding his long legs under the blankets and sliding down on the mattress. He dimmed the lights, the room illuminated only from the glow of the waning fire.
“Goodnight, Remus.” He already felt like he’d talked more than enough for one evening.
Remus said the same in reply, though the entire time they’d sat by the fire was replaying in his head as he tried to put everything into place. He suddenly wondered if he’d be able to slide into sleep as easily as he’d previously presumed; there was too much still for him to absorb.

A/N: It’s been so long since my last update, I humbly beg your forgiveness! I hope none of you have abandoned this fic because of the incredibly long delays these last few months! I’ll try to do better next time.
My personal life just won’t settle down; this year seems to be much busier than last both at home and at work. I do the best that I can though!
Some parts of this chapter (not naming names, Severus) were more difficult to work through than anticipated, so that ended up being part of my difficulty. I hope you found it enjoyable and aren’t starting to find this story too long winded. Please let me know what you thought, you guys’ wonderful reviews keep me coming back to write this story!
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The Long Road