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The Worst Kind of Nightmare	By : Padfoot79 Category: Harry Potter > General > General Views: 7634 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

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The Worst Kind of Nightmare
Author: Prongs
Disclaimer: JK Rowling owns all things 'Harry Potter.'
A/N: If you are participating in the SxJ FEST, the deadline has been extended to July 6th.
WARNING: This chapter does mention abortion, so if that bothers you, you may want to skip this chapter or stop reading the story. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

Chapter Four: A Visit to the Nurse

~*~
James sighed as he continued to run his fingers through Sirius' hair.
After Sirius had awoken in the bathroom, James insisted that his boyfriend return to bed for a while and try to rest some more. Too tired to argue, Sirius simply nodded his head and allowed James to help him back into bed.
Sirius blinked his eyes open and looked up at James.
"How do you feel?" James asked softly.
"How do you think I feel?" Sirius said bitterly.
"I'm sorry," James whispered. "I'm just so sorry, Sirius. I wish that-"
"So do I," Sirius interrupted. He tugged at his hair for a moment and then eyed James again.
"Do you want something to eat or-"
Sirius made a face and shook his head.
"Something to drink then?"
"Maybe later," Sirius replied. "I wish I could just close my eyes, fall back asleep, and wake up to find out that this was a bad dream."
James swallowed and nodded his head. "Me, too. You, erm, you really should….umm…I mean, you-"
"What are you trying to say?" Sirius asked. "Please just spit it out. I'm in no mood to guess."
"You're going to have to tell a teacher or-"
Sirius scowled. "Can't I just go to Madam Pomfrey? I want this blasted child out of my body. She could perform an abortion, couldn't she?"
James bit his lip. "I guess so. I don't know. Male pregnancy is totally different."
"I know," Sirius said sadly. "I don't want this child, James. I'm too damn young to go through all of this and besides-it's my father's child! How fucked up is that? Gods, I'm such a mess."
James wrapped his arms around Sirius' body tightly. "You are not a mess, Siri. You've been through a lot, but I am going to do everything that I can do help you. No matter what happens."
"You know I'm still angry about what you said," Sirius said quietly as he clutched at James' shirt.
"I know," James replied. "And I can't blame you at all. I was a complete bastard. You have every right to hate me."
"I don't hate you," Sirius murmured. "I'm mad, though, but I…I don't feel like talking about it right now."
"I understand. I love you, Siri," James whispered as he placed a gentle kiss on his boyfriend's forehead.
Sirius said nothing, but continued to hold onto James.
~*~
"Where is he?"
"Shower," James replied quietly. "Then we're going to see Madam Pomfrey."
"He wants an tiontion for sure?" Remus asked, his amber eyes shining with concern.
"Yes," James replied. "I can't blame him."
Remus said nothing.
"So, do you mind helping us keep Peter in the dark on this?" James asked. "Sirius doesn't want Peter to know, and I agree with him. Peter will make a mistake and tell someone and then…" James voice trailed off.
"I understand. I'll keep Peter off your back," Remus promised.
"Thank you," James said gratefully.
~*~
"You are indeed pregnant," Madam Pomfrey confirmed.
"Obviously," Sirius muttered.
"Did you perform a test before you-"
"Yes," Sirius interrupted. "As soon as I started feeling sick, I bought three muggle tests."
"I see." She looked at James sternly. "Why didn't you two use some form of protection?"
James looked shocked and opened his mouth to speak, but then promptly shut it. He turned to Sirius who looked paler than before.
"I need to sit down," Sirius whispered. He made his way to one of the beds and eased himself onto it. He glanced down at the floor for several seconds.

MadaMadam Pomfrey watched Sirius with her hands on her hips. When he didn't say anything, she again turned her attention to James. "How could you let this happen, Mr. Potter? I expected you to be more responsible, and now you've-"
"He didn't do it!" Sirius roared, looking up. "Stop yelling at him! It's not his damn fault!"
James ran his fingers through his hair and just watched Sirius. Madam Pomfrey lowered her hands and gently touched Sirius' head. "What exactly are you saying?" she asked.
Sirius looked around the room and then spoke softly. "My father raped me over the holidays," he said, staring down at the floor again. "It's his child."
"What?" Madam Pomfrey gasped.
"You heard me," Sirius muttered. "Look, I feel like shit, and I don't want to talk about this right now. What I do want is a fucking abortion."
"I'm afraid I can't do that."
"Well then who can?" Sirius asked angrily. "I don't want to carry my father's child! If I ever have a child, its going to be James', and no one else's!"
James' eyes widened, and he felt this intense need to embrace his boyfriend tightly, but he forced himself to stay back and say nothing.
"I understand that, Sirius. How much do you two know about male pregnancy?"
Sirius just shrugged his shoulders and looked over at James.
"Not much," James admitted. "You don't hear about it that often. I mean, you do hear about it some, but…I don't know. I guess we just know it's possible, but we never really thought about how or why."
Sirius nodded his head and looked up at the nurse.
"That's the way it is with most people. In order for a man to become pregnant, well, first of all, you have to be a wizard, but you two probably knew that."
"Guess so," James replied. "I hadn't really thought about it."
Madam Pomfrey nodded her head and continued. "The other thing is that you must take a special potion in order to it it possible."
Sirius raised an eyebrow, "What?"
"A male wizard cannot become pregnant without taking thtiontion, Mr. Black."
Sirius flinched. "Stop calling me that."
"It's your-"
"Call him Sirius," James interrupted firmly. "So, Sirius'…dad…had to give him a potion? He fucking did it on purpose! Is that what you're saying?"
"Calm down, Mr. Potter."
James' eyes narrowed, and he finally moved closer to Sirius and placed his hand on Sirius' shoulder.
"Yes, Sirius' father has to have given him the potion, which means he must have done this on purpose. Unless, of course, someone else administered the potion. It would be easy to slip it into a drink, as it does not have a strong flavor."
Sirius stared blankly at the wall in front of him. "He knows then. He knows this happened. Why? Why does he want me to have his fucking child? I just want a damn abortion!"
James sat down next to his boyfriend and wrapped an arm around Sirius' back.
"Sirius, you do realize that we're going to have to investigate this," Madam Pomfrey said quietly. "I will have to tell the Headmaster and-"
"Why?"
"Because…" Madam Pomfrey sighed. "Sirius, you can't have an abortion. Male pregnancies cannot be aborted."
"What did you just say?" Sirius asked in a dangerously low voice.
James' arm tightened around his boyfriend's back.
The nurse looked sad as she sat down on the other side of Sirius. "I'm so sorry, Sirius. There is no way to abort a male pregnancy. People have tried before, and there are even books that address the issuebsp;bsp;It's not possible. I'm sorry."
Sirius broke away from James' grasp and stood up. "I CANNOT FUCKING HAVE THIS CHILD!" he roared.
James was at Sirius' side in a flash. He placed a hand on Sirius' arm, but Sirius pushed James away and looked back at Madam Pomfrey. "I can't do this," he said in a softer tone. "I just can't. I'm too young. It's not my child. I was fucking raped! I can't go through this. I'd rather die!"
"Don't say that, Siri-"
"Shut up, James. You have no idea what I'm feeling right now," Sirius replied bitterly. "What about a miscarriage?"
"That's almost impossible," the nurse replied. "And anyway, you will NOT attempt to injure yourself in order to-"
"You can't tell me what to do!" Sirius screamed out in frustration. "None of you know how I fucking feel!"
"Sirius, only a small handful of men have had miscarriages before. The potion that you take not only allows you to become pregnant, but it also protects the baby. This baby inside of you is protected much more than any baby inside of a woman."
Sirius scowled and slumped his shoulders slightly. "I can't have this baby," he said, almost in defeat. "I just can't."
"I'm sorry, Sirius. We will do everything we can to help you. I promise."
Sirius said nothing and allowed James to gently grab his hand.
"He needs some rest," Madam Pomfrey said, looking at James.
"I'll make sure that he goes to bed."
The nurse nodded and watched sadly as James and Sirius left the infirmary.
~*~
"Siri? You really need to get some sleep," James whispered. "You've been tossing and turning for nearly an hour now."
"James?"
"Yes, love?"
"Why are you here? Why don't you just leave now?"
"Do you want me to leave?" James asked, taken aback.
Sirius sniffled and continued to stare at the wall. "No. But you shouldn't be with me. You're young, and you have your whole life ahead of you. You shouldn't be here with me when you could be with someone you deserve. Someone who isn't so messed up. Someone who isn't pregnant. Someone who won't ruin your whole life."
"Sirius, how can you talk like that? I love you. I would never leave you. Never."
Sirius rolled over and studied James curiously. Then, he shook his head sadly and closed his eyes.
~*~
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The Worst Kind of Nightmare