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Fallen	By : Cherish Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Harry/Draco Views: 7558 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

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Fallen
V

~*~

I�m
falling forever

I�m Going
Under

~*~

The next morning Draco woke up, feeling something warm
against him. He slowly opened his eyes and realised that Harry was still lying
in his arms. Carefully he released Harry and walked towards the bathroom. He
had a lot to think about.

He seemed to have broken Harry, but it wasn�t as much
fun as he thought it would be. To see the boy crumble in front of him was no
fun.

He�d pleased his father in every way to get a slave.
He wanted a slave to get rid of this urge lingering deep inside him. The urge
was always there. At first Draco had thought it was because he was gay. Now he
knew that he was wrong. This urge wasn�t because he wanted to be released in a
sexual way.

The sex he had with Harry was good, but last night was
even better. To see the boy taking a bit of the pleasure for himself was so
much better than claiming all the pleasure. He had taken Harry�s first sexual
experience without asking. Of course it wasn�t normal to take any sexual experience
without asking, but the first was different for some reason. Your first sexual
experience should be something enchanting. His hadn�t been that enchanting, it had
been horrible. Now he�d done the same to Harry.

All though he always told himself that guilt was a
feeling he didn�t have. He was sure that he was feeling it now and he had no
clue how to fix it.

He couldn�t set Harry free. His father would kill him.
He couldn�t stop touching Harry. For one his father would notice and to be
honest... he just couldn�t stay away from the boy. The urge to posses Harry was
too big.

He could try to be friendly towards Harry, but that
would only make the situation more awkward and him more vulnerable. Opening his
heart to someone was not something he was familiar with.

Although his father raised him well, he�d always known
that his father was wrong. He couldn�t admit it in front of Harry, for his
father would find out, but his father was wrong. He wasn�t stupid and although
all the Slytherin�s had slaves, he knew that it was wrong. It was wrong to
decide for another person, to force yourself into them. To hurt them so bad,
mentally and physically.

Harry would never be like the his father�s slaves. He
knew that his father had trained his slaves, but Harry knew the difference
between the real world and the dark world he was living in.

Harry would never be truly his.

Draco sighed and walked back to the bedroom, watching
Harry sleep peacefully. He wondered how Harry could sleep so beautifully, after
everything that happened to him.

When he first heard that Harry died, he didn�t want to
believe it. All his life he�d spend so many time trying to make Harry�s life a
living hell, but when he heard H was was dead he was in shock. There was this
feeling inside him, which he didn�t recognise. The thought of Harry being gone
forever just didn�t appeal him as much as he used to think. As he was supposed
to think. It didn�t appeal him at all.Draco ran a hand through his loose hair, which was
much longer than in Hogwarts. He could not understand the feelings inside him.
The urge to caress Harry was just as big as the urge to hurt the boy.

He hated the boy. He always had. Or did he only hate
Harry because he was supposed to hate him?

He didn�t know. He was so confused.

Draco bit his lip and decided to go back to bed. There
was nothing he could dothisthis house anyway. Except �playing� with Harry.

Would Harry ever know what his real feelings were?
That he felt abandoned and so completely miserable in this house. Would he ever
have the courage to tellry..ry...

His life wasn�t perfect. It had been far from perfect
since... he couldn�t even remember the last moment he�d been truly happy.
Everything inside him had been numb. His heart was cold, nearly frozen. His
eyes blind for reality. His ears deaf for everything he didn�t want to hear.
His father raised him to play dirty games.

His father deceived him in his face and yet he was to
weak to realise it. To go against it.

Draco knew damn well why his father gave him Harry.
His father thought that he would change back to the Draco he was. The fact was
that he could never be that Draco again. Not after everything that happened.

His father had made a mistake bringing Harry here. Now
he was forced to think, see and hear Harry�s cries. His father had made a
mistake raping him. Now he knew what hurt he had caused. His father made him
see and feel. His father had made a mistake forbidding him to leave the house,
afraid he might do bring shame upon the Malfoy name.

He did not like to admit it, but when his father
brought Harry home he had been glad. Glad, because he had someone to talk to,
to fight with, but he ruined it. He ruined it, because of the fear that
lingered inside him. Fear for his father. Fear that his father might actually
place a spell upon him, because he wasn�t what his father wanted him to bep>

He didn�t understand. His father had sex with young
boys, yet he had been disgusted when he noticed his affection towards boys. His
father�s boys.

He was supposed to marry a woman, he knew that. His
father told him that every day. He didn�t understand it though. The wizard
society wasn�t against gay people anymore. There were accepted, just like
straight people were. And yet his father found it a shame. Such a shame that he
locked his son away until he found the perfect wife. In the mean time he hoped
that D wou would fulfill his seksual needs, using Harry and marry a woman when
the time was right.

Maybe Draco wasn�t strong enough to live a lie. He
wasn�t as strong as his father. He was weak.

Draco bit his lip and slid back under the covers of
his bed. Feeling Harry�s warmth next to him. He realised that things had to
change dramatically if he wanted to get rid of this urge lingering inside him.
If he wanted to fill this dark emptyness inside him. The dark emptyness he
wasn�t supposed to feel, being on the dark side.

There was something inside him that needed to be
released. There was something inside him that needed to be comforted.

He didn�t know why he was doing all these things,
because in the end he he wanted was to be loved. Knowing that he would never
get that someone.

At first he had hope that that someone could maybe be
Harry, but he ruined it. Harry would spend the remainings of his days hating
him. He hurt the boy. He deserved nothing but Harry�s hate. He couldn�t believe
that he�d ruined it so badly for himself.

~*~

Closing
your eyes to disappear

You pray your dreams will leave you here,

But still you wake and know the truth -

No one's there.

~*~

Harry woke up and looked beside him. Draco was lying
next to him, sleeping soundly. There was a small tear in the corner of his eye.

Harry frowned. What in Merlin�s name could be so bad
in Mals lis life, causing him to cry...

He turned around forcing himself not to think about
last night, but images kept flashing around in his head. He grasped the sheets
out of despair. The images had to go. He was so disgusted by himself.

Curled up in a little ball, Harry tried to force
himself to think about Hogwarts. He succeeded, but those thoughts remembered
him of what he�d lost.

To him life was about three things. Love, Friendship which would lead to Happiness.
What was the point of living if you lost them all, not to get them back ever
again? Love, the only time he really felt loved was in Hogwarts and when Sirius
was still alive. He�d never experienced true love, if such a thing even existed
and now he would never experience it... Not when he stayed locked away untill
�his master� got sick of him.

Friendship. He had the best friends someone could wish
for. They loved him no matter what. Supported him in everything. Catched him
when he was falling. Now he was falling and there was no one to catch him. No
one to keep him from slipping into the darkness. They didn�t know what he was
feeling, they didn�t even know he was still alive.

If those things were gone, never to come back. If you
were in a situation which was driving you to the end. As if you were standing
on the edge, almost falling into madness. Then what exactly is the point of
living?

The point of living with hope, which you know is
false. When you know that the following days of your live are the same. You�ll
experience the same hurt, the same shame. While you cannot push the thoughts
from the previous days out of your head.

Crawling, your crawling through the remainings days of
your life. With wounds that will not heal. Oblivious to everything around you,
only feeling the pain inside you. Craving for love and tenderness.

There is no point in living, when all the good things
are gone except for a memory. A vague memory that makes you want to go back.

Harry was crying again. Crying seemed to be the only
thing he could do these last days. Crying hard, gasping for air every now and
then. When he started it was as if he couldn�t stop. Even when his tears
stopped, he was still crying. As if that was the only thing keeping him sane.

~*~

I
know you hear br>
br>
I can taste it in your tears.

~*~

Behind him Draco woke up, realising it was Harry
making so much noise. He stared at Harry�s back for a few minutes, ininining
silent. Awaiting the moment that Harry would stop crying, but it didn�t come.

Draco carefully moved closer to Harry, not knowing
what to do. He hated the boy with passion, but this was tearing hisrt ort out.
Knowing he caused it, made it even worse. He wondered if this was what guilt
felt like, because it felt horrible.

He placed a cold hand upon Harry�s shoulder, but Harry
didn�t move. Draco didn�t know if the boy didn�t care, or didn�t notice. The
urge to touch Harry was so strong, too strong to resist. His hand caressed
Harry�s soft hair and still Harry didn�t move.Draco tentatively moved his hand over Harry�s arm,
knowing he would have no defense what-so-ever if Harry questioned him about his
actions. Yet he did not stop. He pressed his chest against Harry�s back,
offering him comfort. If only Harry would take it... Now the boy was just lying
there, numb to the world.

Draco could smell the salty tears, when he placed a
soft kiss on Harry�s hair. Harry smelled so good, even if he smelled like salty
tears.

~*~

Harry snapped back to reality, realising someone was
holding him and comforting him. Just like he craved for, but the person was
wrong. The person had the wrong intentions.

He realised that Draco was the only thing keeping him
alive. If Draco would just let him die, he would with pleasure even. Only Draco
would let him go, the boy wanted to torture him even more.

Didn�t Draco see that he was already broken,
Shattered? And now Draco was holding him, just like last night. It felt good,
but so did last night. It felt good, because his body craved for it not his
mind. His mind was telling him to scream, yell and fight. He had to yell, he
couldn�t let Draco play with him like this. Shattering even the shattered
pieces of him.

�Malfoy, what the fuck are you doing?� Harry wanted to
yell, but he could only whisper.

It took Draco long to reply. �You were crying,� Draco answered,
just as soft.

Harry roughly whiped away the tears on his cheeks.
�It�s almost as if you really care, Malfoy.� Harry succeeded to spat, jerking
his arm away from Draco�s.

Draco rolled away from Harry, not replying.

Harry frowned, suddenly feeling suffocated. He had to
get out of this cursed bed. Shaking slightly he stepped out of the bed, making
his way towards the bathroom.

He slammed the door shut behind him, so hard that the
mirror on the wall fell down. Shattering in little pieces in front of him.

Dark thoughts rushed through his head. Here right in
front him was all he needed. It was time, time to leave this hell.

He knew that there was something after this life. He
wanted to see his father and mother again. He wanted to hug Sirius. He wanted
to be happy and feel loved again.

~*~

I'll
miss the winter

A world of fragile things

Look for me in the white forest

Hiding in a hollow tree

Say
goodnight, don't be afraid

Calling me, holding me, as you fade to black

n lan lang=EN-GB
style='font-size:10.0pt;font-family:Verdana;color:black;mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>

Sweet
rapture and life,

It ends here tonight.

Holding my last breath...

~*~

He began to pant slightly. Even though there was
nothing left to stay for, he still had hope that his friends would find him.
Now he realised that if they did, he would never be the same. He would never
like to be intimate with someone again. He would never be truly happy again.

This would haunt him in his thoughts and in his dreams
forever, untill he was released by death.

They already thought he was dead and the point of
living was gone.

He collapsed on the floor, grabbing a piece of glass.
He watched his reflection and saw how bad he was doing. His eyes were dull, his
cheeks pale. He was nothing but a shadow.
A dark shadow. His soul was already dead, the only thing that was still living
was his body.

He pressed the glass into his finger, checking if it
was sharp enough. He bit his lip, feeling the pain. To his surprise it felt good. A drop of blood dripped from his
finger and splashed on the fl

Harry sucked the blood from his finger, getting dizzy
from the taste.

He realised that he had to hurry, if he didn�t want
some elf or Draco noticing it. Without thinking he pressed the glass against
his wrist, pushing hard. He wanted to make sure he hit the blow vein.

He took in a sharp breath, bolding his fist. He
couldn�t afford to make a noise. To his satisfaction the blood flowed out of
his wrist. He took the piece of glass in his bleeding hand, which was covered
with blood and cut his other wrist a bit faster.

Somewhat shocked be dropped the glass, crawling
backwards to the wall.

He sat against the wall, looking to the ceiling. His
wrists hurt like hell, but he had to hold on. He had to get out of here.

His sight went blurry and he smiled to himself. He
didn�t feel the pain anymore. He escaped afterall...

~*~

Fallen
Angels at my feet

Whispered Voices at my ear

Death before my eyes

Lying next to me I fear

She beckons me

Shall I give in

Upon my end shall I begin

Forsaking all I've fallen for

I rise to meet My End

~*~

Draco felt like screaming. Why couldn�t he make Harry
see that even though they were supposed to be enemies. And even though he hurt
Harry so bad, over and over again. That he was just as sick of this life as
Harry was. He couldn�t say that he didn�t meant to hurt Harry, because he did.

He just wanted to undo it now. He didn�t need Harry in
that way. He needed Harry in a different way, now he was pushing Harry away.

Draco frowned. Harry had been in the bathroom awfully
long. He�d expected Harry to come back and shout at him, but he didn�t.

Maybe he�d pushed Harry over the edge... Worry
suddenly clouded his mind and he rushed towards the bathroom.

He opened the door and saw a pieces of a mirror lying
in a pool of blood. Next to him Harry
lay on the floor in the same pool. His wrists pressed against his chest. His
eyes shut...

~*~

So
stay with me

You look in my eyes and I'm screaming inside that I'm sorry.

n lan lang=EN-GB
style='font-size:11.0pt;font-family:Verdana;mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>

Then
you look at me

You're not shouting anymore

You're silently broken

~*~

~*~

Used songs:

Going UndEvanEvanescence

My Last Breath �Evanescence

Whisper �Evanescence

Forgive Me �Evanescence

This will be continued...

Thank you all so much for all your reviews! I�m really
flattered. Please Review again!

Somebody asked me if Lies was really a song from
Evanescence. Yes it is. It�s a very pretty song. If you want it, add me to your
msn-buddies and I�ll send it to you. (icequeen863@hotmail.com)

Love,

Black Elf(*Cherish)
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Fallen