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Why Draco Should Not Be Using Tampons	By : Padfoot Category: Harry Potter > Het - Male/Female > Draco/Hermione Views: 43388 -:- Recommendations : 3 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

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Day two: Monday

The next morning a loud banging noise on her bedroom door waked Hermione up. As soon as she opened the door Malfoy stormed in and shouted: “You bitch! You could have warned me!”

         “I could have,” Hermione replied whilst stifling a yawn, “but you so eloquently put that you didn’t need my help, so...”.

         “This is different!” he growled.

         “Is it?” Hermione asked sarcastically.

         “Yes, damn you!”

         “So...”

         “So?” Malfoy frowned.

         “So...” Hermione repeated whilst raising her eyebrows pointedly while Malfoy seemed to catch on what she meant.

         “So could you help me with this?” he asked grudgingly.

         “You didn’t say the magic word” Hermione said.

         “You’re joking, right?” Malfoy growled.

In reply Hermione raised her eyebrows again in expectation and to point out that she was not kidding. She was by no means planning on making this easy for him. She had him cornered and they both knew it. She might as well make him suffer in the process.

         “Fine!” Malfoy spat helplessly. “Could you please help me with this”.

         “That didn’t hurt, now did it” Hermione said cheerfully, feeling very pleased with herself. “Come with me” she continued as she walked over to the bathroom. Draco stalked behind her, still fuming, but kept it safely inside until he got what he needed from her. Hermione pulled open a drawer under the sink, took out a blue box and opened it.

         “Okay, so this,” she said whilst holding up a something wrapped in a white piece of paper, “is a tampon”.

         It looked very much like Malfoy just wanted to hide in embarrassment, but tried hard not to show it. For Hermione this just made this whole embarrassing situation worth it. She pulled the wrapper off and continued to explain. She really felt uncomfortable in having to show this to Malfoy. It wasn’t really the explaining-thing, it was more so the thought of Malfoy poking around in her nether-regions for the next couple of days that was disconcerting. But there really wasn’t much she could do about that, so she just had to put herself into ‘teaching-mode’ and help him through this.

         “You hold it like this” she said whilst clearly showing Draco which fingers should go where. “Then you position the caps at your entrance, push it in to here (she pointed to the end of the outer capsule) and then push the inner capsule in with your index finger. Extract the caps; et voila. You’re fine for a couple of hours. Just make sure the extraction-string remains on the outside.”

         “Right” Malfoy answered businesslike whilst trying to keep as much dignity as one could master in a situation like this.

         “So here you go” Hermione said while pushing the box of tampons in Malfoy’s hands. “Try it.”

         “What? Here?” Malfoy asked surprisedly.

         “Well yeah” she said while she made her way out the bathroom to give him some privacy. “What does it matter? Do you really want to do this alone?”

         “Fine!” Malfoy growled, but he knew she had a point. He really could use some help if something were to go wrong, not that he even wanted to think about that.

         “I’ll be outside” Hermione said. “Since it’s the first time you do this you better take a couple of deep breaths and try to relax. Your muscles will cramp up otherwise and it can be rather difficult if-”

         “Fine, fine, fine!” Malfoy said while waving his hand dismissingly. “I get it, just go!”

         “Right” Hermione said. “Oh, and you might want to squat. It’s the easiest position to-”

         “GO!”

         “Fine” Hermione said while closing the door behind her.

*

         “You okay, Malfoy?” Hermione asked. He had been in there for five minutes and still hadn’t given a sign of success.

         “Yes” he answered, but sounded rather strained.

         “Did you get it in?”

         “Not yet”

         “You’re not relaxing are you” Hermione said, more a statement than a question.

         “Can you fucking blame me?” Malfoy spat. “A man shouldn’t have to shove anything up his body. Ever! It’s unnatural. And these things fucking hurt, damn you! They don’t fit.”

         “It’s because you’re not relaxing,” Hermione pointed out.

         “And I can’t stand the sight of blood!” Draco continued as if she hadn’t said anything. “It’s not hygienic!”

         “If you’re done ranting I might suggest a different approach,” Hermione said casually.

         “Which is?”

         “Pads.”

         “Pads?”

         “Yep. They’re in the cupboard under the sink. Take one out of the box, rip the paper off and past it into your... my, knickers. Fold the wings and paste them on the underside. Got it?”.

         “Yeah,” he replied.

         After a minute of silence, Malfoy came out of the bathroom looking rather dishevelled.

         “It feels like I’m wearing a diaper,” he commented.

         “I know. That’s why I prefer tampons,” Hermione said. “I suggest you take them along anyway and try them again later.”

         “Sure, whatever,” Malfoy said while making his way out, clutching the two boxes to his chest. “I swear to God, Granger, if you ever tell anyone about this I’ll put the Avada Kedavra on you and gladly spend a life sentence in Azkaban for it.”

         “Consider me warned,” she replied huffily as she watched him leave.

         ‘This whole situation is totally messed up’ she reckoned. ‘Malfoy gets his period, comes to me for help and then runs off with my femmy-products. If I didn’t know any better I would send myself for a check-up at St Mungo’s.’

*

In Draco’s opinion, life sucked immensely.

Not only was he in a girl’s body, he was in Grangers body; a Muggleborn, a Gryffindor, a Goodie-goodie, a girl who’s menstrual cycle couldn’t be less convenient and who had the most boring class schedule ever!

Why did she have to be such an intellectual? Why?

Advanced Arithmancy?

Ancient ruins?

Who needs that, honestly?

And then the fact that Draco never in his life had taken one of these courses was slightly alarming. Even more so that Granger was on top of each of these classes. Draco had sufficiently prepared himself in getting a hang on the infamous ‘please-oh-please-I’m-so-smart-so-let-me-answer-this-question-arm-rise’ Granger has sported since day one at Hogwarts.

The arm-thing he quickly got a hang of.

Problem was; he didn’t know any of the answers.

And all the bloody note-taking was giving him a cramp in his hand. Usually he just duplicated someone else’s with the flick of his wand. Couldn’t do that now, now could he? He was just fortunate that nobody so far had noticed that Granger magically had become left-handed over night. Not much he could do about that anyways.

And he really did not like the girls’ school uniforms. It’s breezy under those skirts! He constantly had to fight the urge to start pulling on the damn thing to make it cover more leg. And those nylons are itchy! Why do they even wear those awful things? It’s summer! Just after five minutes of wearing them, he had already managed to get two ladders in them. And how can girls look so relaxed when they sit with their legs crossed like that? When Draco was finally able to put one leg over the other (which felt damn unnatural) he constantly felt like with one little nudge he would tumble out of his chair.

And he still had not totally gotten used to those damn bras! It was really uncomfortable having something pressing into your ribcage all day long. And getting the damn things on was mostly based on sheer dumb luck. Draco also figured out that throwing the thing across the room in pure frustration did not help much. So, after some careful consideration Draco had managed to transfigure some of Hermione’s bra’s so they would open at the front. Much easier! He just couldn’t understand why they just hadn’t made them that way. Are they trying to make things difficult for themselves? Women!

But out of all this the thing he detested most was the menstruation-thing. He really, really, did not like that. He couldn’t believe that every single girl went through this.

How can they stand it?

With all the blood and all....

He really didn’t like the sight of blood.

Damn it all!

*

         “You call this notes?” Hermione asked resentfully while waving the parchments in front of Draco.

         “Hey, I worked hard on those,” Draco noted, still feeling the ache in his hand.

         “Possibly, but I’m going to have to decipher this if I’m supposed to be able to get my homework done with this,” she commented.

         “Not my fault you can’t read.”

         “Oh, I can read. You just can’t write!”

         “Oh, stuff a sock in it Granger,” Draco grunted. “I had a rough day, so leave me alone. It’s exhausting being you, you know. Constantly bouncing up and down your seat whilst waving your hands in the air does tend to take the wind out of you.”

         “Oh please,” Hermione said. “As if you knew any of the answers.”

         “Hey! I’m smarter than you think. I managed quite nicely, thank you very much.” Liar, liar, pants on fire.

         “Fine, whatever. I’m going to try and decipher this,” Hermione said as she walked off to her room to get to work. She had a cramp in her facial muscles, something she didn’t even know one could get. All day she had to mind herself to keep scowling, frowning or glaring. But after a while she would forget about it and her face would slip back into neutral.

Not that Malfoy did much better in her stead, anyway. When they had been practising earlier, and he had to learn to relax his face more, he kept putting up this goofy expression. Like he just had gotten a lobotomy or something. And what made it even more disturbing was that it didn’t even look like he was doing it on purpose.

Scary!

And Hermione also had virtually been forced to stuff a fist in her mouth all day. It was uncanny how gruelling it was not to answer any questions while you damn well know the answers. For the first two periods she had to force herself to sit on her hands so they wouldn’t automatically pop up.

         They tend to do that, apparently.

*

Before she was going to bed Hermione was standing in her bathroom not knowing if she should feel eager or revolted. As a kid she had often been resentful towards the male species for getting to pee while standing up. Growing up; she had gotten over it. But now she had the opportunity to fulfil her childhood fantasy.

And besides; she had been holding it since the body-switch and really, really, needed to go. She had to go so badly that she was doing the infamous ‘Legs-pressed-together-I-really-need-to-go-pee’-dance.

She raised the lid of the toilet seat, unbuttoned her pants and reached inside. As the tips of her fingers found what she was looking for, the thought ‘I can’t believe I’m doing this’ popped up into her head and wouldn’t go away. She had to force herself to take a slightly firmer grip and take it out of her pants.

“For gods sake, just do it you bloody wimp!” she cursed herself, feeling the preverbal water rising by the moment.

And she did.

With a sigh of release, I might add.

She had a couple of close calls aiming-wise but all-in-all it went alright. After she was done she tucked herself back in (she had decided early on that she carried on the left, since she wasn’t about to go to Malfoy to ask this piece of personal information) and went to wash her hands feeling odd that such a simple action could make her feel so proud of herself.

***********

End of day two
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Why Draco Should Not Be Using Tampons