MST: Oh! You said Snape! I thought you said Snake!

Voldemort had called it a punishment. He would stay inside

Sirius: Well, that would be the whole poi... Severus: Sirius, don't. It's too easy. Lucius: What are you two talking about? Both: Give it a wild guess. Lucius: He would stay inside...ack! You people are sick! Sirius: We weren't the ones who wrote it! Lucius: But you gave it the innuendo. Severus: It's all in the eye of the beholder. Don't blame us.

for a time while he thought about what he did. The idea almost made Lucius laugh.

Severus: Did your face crack? Lucius: No. But yours would.

It was a lot like standing in the corner when he was young. All he needed to do was think,

Severus: Yeah, now you’re safe! Sirius: Don't be so harsh...just because he's blond... Severus: I'm not saying it 'cos he's blond! Lucius: It damn well looks like! Are you insinuating I'm dumb just 'cos I’m a blond? Severus: I would never think that way about all blonds! It varies... Sirius: *adoring look towards Severus* See, you're nice, after all... Severus: *tutoring voice* Take Sirius, here, for example: gorgeous jet-black hair... Sirius: *adoringly* Lucius: *paying a closer look to Sirius* Severus: *uninterrupted* As gorgeous a brunette as you can be, and still, if you go looking inside his head... Lucius: *slowly starting to re-evaluate Sirius* Sirius: *thinking hard* Severus: *waiting for reality to dawn*

though he didn't know

Sirius: HEY! That was... Lucius: ...meant to you, Black. Nothing but the truth, I must say. Can we please go on with this? I'm a busy man, I can't stay here forever. Sirius: *yelling at Severus* You really can't help being a heartless bastard, with no regard whatsoever for my feelings, you little... Severus: And you love me for it, girlie. Besides, little, I am not, and you know it. Sirius: *in hysterics* Do I? I would, hadn't you backed off at the last minute every time, you... Lucius: I hate to meddle between husband and wife, but will you two spare me? Sirius: *lower lip trembles* Severus: *torn between amusement and a grudge* Lucius: Oh, for Merlin's sake...*pulls Sirius close and rubs his back soothingly* Come on, there's no reason to do that.... Sirius: *calming down somewhat* You do know how to treat a man... Severus: *settles for amusement and breaks down in laughter*

why he had to be naked while doing so.

Lucius: It’s more comfortable that way. Severus: *still giggling* Yeah, seeing as you’re not so used to it, you need as much comfort as you can. *takes off his cloak and wraps it around Lucius* Some coffee? It'll help you remember you're not dreaming about the whole thing. Sirius: Oh, for him you take off your cloak, uh? And without any conditions! Lucius: *wrapping the cloak around Sirius as well* Conditions for what? Severus: For a shag that he's taking entirely too seriously. Sirius: Too seriously? I'm gonna fucking kill him...You gave me your word, you started it a couple of times, you always backed off 'cos you don't have the balls to leave that closet for someone else to hide in and I'm taking it too seriously?! Lucius: Really, Severus, you should take your promises seriously... Severus: I refuse to listen to a moralistic rant from a Death Eater in stand-by... Sirius: Totally different from your course in life, isn't it? Severus: ... who's not even sure his descendant is really his son (Lucius: *gaping in astonishment*). You watch your own back. Lucius: Of course I know he's my son! Who?! Sirius: *weird look at Lucius* Draco. Your only son. Your only heir. Your only descendant. Lucius: Oh, him. No, he's not the only one. Well, officially he is, but to tell you the truth...*pauses*...there's this...*to Severus* What do you mean, I'm not sure he's my son? Severus: *chuckling* Well, if you can't sort it out yourself, I'm not gonna be the one to tell you, am I? Sirius: There's this...what is it, Severus? ...rumour, about Narcissa not being as much of a lesbian as the other rumours say... Lucius: She's not a lesbian! We prove that every night! Sirius: Spare me the appearances’ het, will you? And rumour says... Severus: ...that Draco wasn't a premature child, but the fruit of someone else's loins. That's it. Lucius: That's ludicrous! Who believes those things? Both: *silent* Lucius: You wouldn't... Severus: Come on, Lucius, is there really any need to cling to that closet door? Lucius: Stop. Sirius: But... Lucius: Not another word. Severus: We definitely hit something here. Lucius: *glares at him* You have a lot to explain. Severus: What do I know? For hell's sake, it's a rumour, you never know how they start! Lucius: Arrumphf. *eyeing them both*

He guessed it was just Voldemort thinking that he'd feel more vulnerable that way.

Severus: No, the world would be more vulnerable to Lucius that way. Lucius: That was mean. Severus: Spare me the moralisms, Lucius’ even fic you has got over it! Sirius: I'm quite sure fic him will NOT get over it. He sounds an awful lot like a bitch. Lucius: I'm not a bitch! Severus: *not listening to Lucius* True. You noticed it as well? Sirius. It's kinda difficult not to do so, isn't it? Severus: Did you see all the clues the author is dropping our way to show us that he's going to be the absolute bitch of the fic? Lucius: I'M NOT A BITCH! Sirius: Me thinks he doth protest too much... Severus: Sure mark of a bitch. Lucius: Sirius, either you stop that, or I'll drop you to the floor and you just handle your probs with Severus on your own. Sirius: *silent* Severus: *chucking to himself* They're both so easy to wind up it almost isn't not funny...

It was a useless thought as Lucius didn't feel at all uncomfortable in the nude. Even though it would have been better had Avery not tried to cop a few feels from him

Lucius: Ack! Sirius: As we told you before, hold onto that image for as long as you can. You'll be needing it soon enough. Lucius: You don't know Avery, do you? Sirius: I saw him once or twice in Hogwarts. Lucius: Oh, so you don't know he is a complete shit as a Death Eater, and he has almost as many scars as Alastor Moody... only he doesn't have half of Moody's charm... Severus: What charm? Lucius: Exactly. Sirius: *gulping* I still insist that you hold onto the image. Look at the bright side of it: when you're done, here, Avery is going to look a whole lot more attractive than before. Lucius: *shudder*

as the man chained him up. One quick kick to the jaw

Severus: That's logistically impossible. If he were chaining you up so tightly that you could barely move, how the hell would you be able to kick him in the jaw? Sirius: Not to mention that when you're being sexually harassed, you don't generally aim for the jaw. The danger lies elsewhere. Severus: You sound like you've ever been the one to be harassed. You must have a bunch of restraint orders upon you, not to mention that detail of the life sentence in Azkaban... Sirius: *sharp breath* In case you care, I was harassed many times in my life, unlike some overgrown bats I know. I was simply compliant. Lucius: Knowing you, you must have fucked the harassment out of their list of "things to do". Sirius: Nobody ever complained. Severus: Would it have been any good? Sirius: No.

had been enough for the younger Death Eater. While Lucius couldn't use his hands or magic, he could still kick. Avery had left soon after

Lucius: Soon after? What the fuck was he still doing there? Severus: Guess. Lucius: I don't think I want to. Sirius: He was probably just chaining your legs up too. So that next time you wouldn't... Lucius: There wouldn't be a next time. Sirius: *whispering to Severus* He has a little trouble accepting the fact that life doesn't always go his way, doesn't he? Severus: Typical Malfoy behaviour. Just leave him to his illusions. Lucius: What are you talking about? Severus: About how Avery wouldn't dare touch you ever again after that kick in the... jaw. Lucius: Oh...ok.

and now Lucius was in there, alone in the dark.

Severus: Poor child’ Does poor ickle Luciuskins want a hug? Lucius: Actually, that would be nice’ You know, you’re kind of a father figure to me’ in a Darth Vader sort of way. Sirius: If you only knew the amount of Star Wars slash incestuous fiction out there...have a look at it. Severus: *concentrated* Why not? Lucius: Indeed...Are you free after this, Severus? Sirius: He's not! I didn't mean it that way, Lucius! Have a look at it with your wife! Severus: What's the point of looking at slash fics with a woman? You can't have a remake of the best moments! Lucius: Yeah! Slash is only interesting to men! Sirius: 1. You're straight, Lucius. Keep yourself in the right track. 2. He's not free after this. 3. Wherever he's going, I'm going. 4. Do you need a fucking drawing? Lucius: Oh...but I didn't say you couldn't come as well! The more the merrier, man, I wouldn't want this without the two of you together. So, tonight, at Malfoy Manor? Severus: *scowling* Don't you just love it when people talk about you as if you weren't there?

He could barely see anything, only a trickle of light that leaked in from the front door to the cell.

TBC