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Burdens of the Heart	By : innocentimp Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Harry/Snape Views: 4562 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 3
- 4
- 5
Title: Burdens of
the Heart

Author: InnocentImp

Chapter: 4/?

Rating: NC-17

Pairing: SS/HP (eventually)

Disclaimer: I don�t
own Harry Potter or any affiliated characters, locations, etc. Anything you don�t recognize is mine.

Warnings: None for now.

Summary: This is the story of how far two people will go to
finally find each other.

Betas: Where do I
even start? Sereneseer who I hope can
continue to be my sounding board, Akalterego for helping me out on such short
notice, and of course Demeter who was so quick to help and took the time to
really tell me what she thought. Thanks
to all!

Thanks
to all of my reviewers. If you leave me
a contact e-mail I will thank you in person.

Early June

5:30 a.m.

Harry hurt. He hurt so much more than he ever had from
Quidditch practice or any of the physically draining chores he�d been assigned
at the Dursleys�. Physical exhaustion
was his constant companion these days and while he wasn�t thrilled with the
popping and groaning of his joints and muscles in the early waking moments of
each day, there was a certain feeling of accomplishment and purpose that he
valued almost as much as his mobility.
Almost.

I always thought I was in such
good shape from Quidditch. Who knew
dueling was so physically competitive.
How did Flitwick ever manage?

Arching his back, half wincing and
half sighing at the numerous pops that traveled up his spine, Harry quietly
made his way into the bathroom for a quick morning routine. If he hurried he might have time to inhale some
toast and slosh some tea down his throat.

The early morning hours had been
one of the more difficult adjustments for Harry. He was usually up and awake at around the same time every
morning, including Sundays. Sundays
were actually the one day of the week that Harry was given some time to catch
up on his sleep and his reading, although he had found that after forming a
steady habit of getting up before Moody arrived (Harry shuddered at the
consequences of over-sleeping on that man�s watch), he would automatically wake
at the same time every day, regardless of his responsibilities for the
day. Still, Sundays were fairly
nice. They weren�t entirely restful,
but they were usually free from dueling and the like. Mostly he used the time to review the theory behind whatever
magical skill he would be learning for the week.

Today however was a Monday, and he
had to be up and ready when his dueling instructor for the morning
arrived. It would be his first full day
of dueling since he had begun training.
In the past, Occlumency lessons had taken up most of the morning hours,
under the tutelage of an auror Dumbledore had approved. Then the dueling would begin with Moody and
Tonks, and Shacklebolt if he was free.

Harry never thought he would see
the day he would rather practice Occlumency than spell work. He also never thought he would see the day
he�d be deemed competent enough in Occlumency to start attending Order
meetings, but that day had finally come.
And if he was honest with himself, Snape was owed part of the credit for
his success. For better or for worse,
Harry couldn�t seem to get Snape�s voice out of his head. At first the voice had embodied everything
Harry had hated Snape for. It was a
derisive tone that mocked him every time he failed. A malevolent voice that at every difficulty and every impasse
told him he couldn�t, that he was incompetent, an imbecile, unworthy. It had fueled an anger so bright in Harry
that he had finally found success. It
was that voice that had helped him conquer silent castings and it was that
voice that had finally pushed him into succeeding in Occlumency.

Snape would die if he ever knew
just how much of my success is attributed to him.

Somewhere in the months of work and internal
struggle and debate, Harry had managed to overcome his loathing of the
man. It was surprisingly difficult to
hate a persona that lived in your head, spurring you to better yourself. Particularly when faced with the fact that
Snape was not the tidy little scapegoat Harry had wanted him to be. As hard as it was to give up the easy fall
guy, Voldemort was the one responsible for Dumbledore�s death. A fact Harry had only been able to deny for
so long.

Still, I don�t have to like Snape. It isn�t as though he hasn�t given me plenty
of other reasons to want to volunteer him as a Weasleys� Wizard Wheezes test
subject. Aside from the few times he�s
saved my life, he�s been absolutely miserable to me!

Harry�s head snapped up, his morning reflections
interrupted by the tingling of wards that let him know someone had entered the
house. Knowing from experience it was a
very bad idea to take it for granted that it was his instructors (he�d had
bruises for weeks in places he didn�t even want to think about!), he spelled
his shoes silent and padded toward the stairwell, wand at the ready.

***

It was drizzling when Tonks and Shacklebolt apparated
across the street from Grimmauld Place.
Well, Kingsley apparated across the street; Tonks landed in a large
puddle near the curb. They approached
the house together, Kingsley casting umbrella charms for both of them while
Tonks cast drying charms on her hair and clothes. She must have put a little too much behind the spell for her
hair, because where there had previously been pink and purple spikes there was
now what resembled pink and purple candy floss. True to form, Tonks didn�t seem to mind.

Just as the pair was getting ready to enter the
house they heard the pop of another person apparating across the street. Mindful of the early hour and the predominantly
Muggle area, both Kingsley and Tonks pulled their wands and turned toward the
noise.

�Weasley?�
Kingsley didn�t lower his wand, though did look a little more at ease.

�Charlie! We
weren�t expecting you until later this evening! Bit early for transcontinental travel, isn�t it?� Tonks smiled broadly as Charlie stepped up
to join them on the path, while Kingsley ran a quick diagnostic spell to ensure
Charlie was who he appeared to be.
Charlie was expected for a family visit and Ron�s graduation but he was
early. Everyone had been on edge since
Dumbledore�s passing.

�I caught an earlier portkey; there are fewer people to
deal with and I can clear customs so much faster. Though the hour of departure
is earlier than any wizard should ever be up, unless of course he hasn�t gone
to bed.� Charlie grinned broadly at
Tonks with the last statement. �What
are you two doing here at this hour? I
figured most of this place would be deserted.�

Kingsley answered in a low voice as they approached the
door, �We�re here to work with Harry this morning��

�Speaking of which, how about giving us a hand this
morning, Chuck?� Tonks was bouncing
from foot to foot with a wide grin on her face.

�Ugh, anything as long as you never
call me that again! What did you have
in mind?� Charlie�s facial expressions
did an interesting shift from disgust to interest.

�Well�we�ve been working on drills lately and
occasionally we come early to surprise Harry, see if we can drop in on him when
he isn�t prepared. Constant vigilance,
you know.� Tonks said the last in her best Moody impression. �Anyway, Harry should be expecting
Shacklebolt and me, but he knows Moody can�t make it this morning. Wanna fill in, see if we can�t give dear
Harry a little surprise? I seem to
remember you being proficient in hand-to-hand combat�what do you think?�

Catching a nodding Kingsley in his peripheral vision,
Charlie replied, �Sounds like fun. Any
rules I should know about?�

�Nope! Anything
goes, but that works both ways so watch yourself. I wouldn�t want Molly on my back if you�ve gone soft.�

Before Charlie could reply, Kingsley shushed them both
and turned to enter the house. Looking
forward to a bit of a challenge, Charlie pulled his wand and grinned to
himself. This could be entertaining.

***

Harry was glad he hadn�t taken his trainers� arrival for
granted. When he had carefully pushed
open a door and silently spelled the door across from his to reflect the
stairs, he was just in time to see someone douse all the lights as they came
in. It was a sure sign that he was
being tested this morning. Feeling like
taking the offensive for once , he did a quick spell to reveal which doors
downstairs had been opened or disturbed - affected doorknobs would glow blue to
him as he approached. Casting a charm
on his glasses to enhance his night vision, Harry doused the remaining lights
upstairs and slipped soundlessly out the door.

He managed to slip downstairs silently enough, knowing
from experience which steps creaked. As
he approached the landing three doorknobs glowed a very faint blue. The front door was the method of entry so he
disregarded it completely. The other
two doors led to the kitchen and the library.
One person in each room then, but which one to deal with first? Ultimately Harry decided he would deal with
whoever entered the kitchen first. Of
the two rooms, only the kitchen was attached to any other room in the house. The library was a dead end. Casting a strong locking and sticking charm
on the library door to prevent the intruder from doubling back, Harry turned
toward the kitchen.

He had a few choices in approaching this scenario. He could go through the door and hope to get
through without being cursed into oblivion.
Or he could go through some of the adjoining rooms and hope whoever was
in there hadn�t left the kitchen area by the time he got there.

Ugh, if only I could get into the kitchen undetected,
then I could cast general charting spell to see if there were any living
creatures in the kitchen area�wait a minute!

Decision made, Harry cast another locking and
sticking charm to the kitchen door to ensure that at least that exit wasn�t
still available. He then made his way
downstairs and into the basement. Once
he got the entry of the basement Harry cast a quick charting spell for the
area. Nothing living showed up in the
scan. Breathing a sigh of relief, he
hurried over to the other side of the room.
On the far wall, looking up, Harry could see through a small grate and
into the kitchen fireplace. At some
point an old stove had shared ventilation with the fireplace through this
grate. The grate was just large enough
that Harry thought he might be able to shimmy his way through it and up into
the kitchen.

Harry wordlessly cast a heavy silencing charm on the
grate before he shrunk it so it could fall through to him. Placing the grate by the wall, Harry
conjured a stool to stand on. As
quietly as he could he poked his head up through the grate and cast his
charting spell again. Sure enough there
was one person in the room, standing right off to the right of the fireplace,
but at such an angle that Harry couldn�t fire a stunner. He would have to come up through the grate
and use the fireplace as cover.

The grate�s opening was tighter than he expected, but
ultimately he was able to shimmy through, though he was fairly certain he had
ash all over him. Hopefully no one
would try to floo in anytime in the next three or four minutes. Just as Harry pulled himself through the
grate the stool beneath him teetered and fell over, causing a small noise to
echo up the fireplace. Holding his
breath, he waited to be discovered.
When nothing happened Harry leaned up against the wall closest to where
he thought the intruder to be, and cast his charting spell again. Someone was standing right next to the
fireplace. Ever so carefully Harry
edged his wand around the corner and fired two rapid stunning spells and three different
binding spells. He was gratified to
hear a thump as a body hit the floor. Carefully easing out of the fireplace,
Harry cast a soft Lumos, finding a stunned and thoroughly bound Kingsley
Shacklebolt on the floor before him.
Trying not to feel too pleased with himself, he summoned and replaced
the grate before heading to the kitchen door and easing back into the
hallway.

One down, one to go.

This scenario was going to be trickier. There was only one way in or out, so he was
definitely going to have to tackle Tonks head-on in a duel. What he needed was a good distraction so he
could enter the room without being cursed before he could get his
bearings. Backing off and heading
towards the side of the door, Harry spelled the kitchen door to reflect him,
similarly to what he had done upstairs.
This way when he opened the door Tonks would have a target to distract
her; with any luck she would move and give away her position or better yet,
move and pause when Harry didn�t react.
It wasn�t his best plan, but it was all he had.

Ensuring his reflection was properly facing the door to
the library, Harry took a deep breath, summoned as strong a shield as he could
manage, canceled his previous charms on the door and blew the door off its
hinges, hoping the ensuing racket would aid in his deception.

In fact his plan worked better than he could have
hoped. Tonks fired a barrage of spells
as soon as the door cleared the frame, approaching as she did so. When she paused in confusion Harry ducked
around the corner and with a quick variety of spells, had her backing towards a
corner and away from the exit. He might
have had some luck stunning her if he�d been able to clearly tell where she was
standing in the room before he�d gone in.
Still, she was the one in retreat for a change.

Most of Tonks� spells were fairly low-level and were
either bouncing off his shield in an array of colors or were simply
absorbed. Harry was gaining ground far
faster than he�d thought possible and was pleased with himself for how well his
decoy had worked. Too late he saw Tonks
smirk and lower her wand, and too late he felt the presence sneak up behind
him. Trying to spin abruptly and raise
his wand did him little good. Tonks
summoned the wand from his hand, and just as he felt a body collide with his he
realized he�d been lured into the room.

Harry tried to dislodge the body that was pinning him to
the floor, even as Tonks brought the lights up. The only response he received was to have his hands pinned above
his head as the larger body straddled his waist. Once his eyes adjusted to the light Harry was able to look up
into his captor�s face, and Charlie�s smirk greeted him.

�Hi Harry.�
Charlie smiled at him and then much to his eternal mortification gave
him a good leering once over. �My, you have
grown.�

Harry felt his face heat and knew he must be turning at
least three different shades of red.
Charlie�s smile only broadened as leaned over and put his lips near
Harry�s ear, his breath sending tingling jitters down Harry�s spine. Charlie must have felt Harry�s reaction
because he groaned just before he said into Harry�s ear, �You�re cute when you
blush, you know that?�

Before Harry could formulate a response he heard Tonks
making gagging noises over near the doorway.
�Ugh, get a room! Better yet,
let him up so we can go see what he�s inflicted on poor Kingsley. I hope he looks better than this door!�

Charlie got up and extended a hand to Harry, who was
still prone on the floor. Harry
grudgingly accepted the help up, but turned away towards Tonks when he sensed
Charlie�s appraising gaze on him once more.
He didn�t even want to think about how he felt about that.

***

As it turned out, Tonks and Shacklebolt thought it would
be good for Charlie to teach Harry some hand-to-hand self-defense, if only
because the Order hadn�t found a suitable or trustworthy auror up to the task
yet. Charlie of course agreed readily,
much to Harry�s discomfort. Charlie
seemed only too happy to help out, which was how Harry found himself being
slammed into the practice mats a few days later.

Harry winced as he stood up again, shooting a nasty glare
in Charlie�s direction.

�You know you wouldn�t hurt so much if you could just
learn to hit the mats bonelessly.�
Charlie was disturbingly exuberant, in Harry�s opinion.

�Easy for you to say.
You grew up with brothers to practice with.� I learned evasive maneuvering, thought Harry. I didn�t
have a Molly Weasley to interrupt when things got out of hand.

Charlie must have noticed his mood because he quickly
changed the topic. �Come on, why don�t
we have a quick drink and we can try again.�
He led the way over to the couch, where a couple of cold butterbeers
quickly appeared.

Harry very gingerly took a seat at the far end of the
couch and sent off a mild stinging hex at Charlie when he laughed.

Canceling the hex, Charlie managed to gasp out, �You are
making some progress, you know.
I was able to sneak up on Bill for ages, and I can still sneak up on Ron
most of the time, but you, you seem to have learned that lesson quickly
enough.�

Thank you Moody, you paranoid bastard.

�It just takes practice. You�ll get there. You
just need a little encouragement.�
Charlie smiled suggestively across the couch.

Harry felt
lump rise in his throat and blush spread across his face.

Encouragement?

�Uh, what did you have in mind?� Charlie had been making Harry nervous all
week, though in retrospect it wasn�t oppressive like when he thought about the
war, just uncomfortable�sort of.

�I have something I think you�d really like to
have�� Charlie withdrew a small vial full of what looked to be mineral
salts.

Harry sucked in a relaxing breath, his curiosity
overtaking is nerves, �What are they?�

�They�re minerals from one of the hot springs on the
dragon preserve. You put them in the
bath. You wouldn�t believe the wonders they do for your muscles.� Charlie held the vial out to Harry.

Taking it, Harry turned it over in his hand. �I�m not
actually supposed to get healing for any minor injuries, part of the training.�

�Well I�m one of your trainers now, aren�t I?� Charlie quirked a small grin in his
direction. �Besides, I think this might
come a little easier with positive reinforcement.�

Harry, still skeptical, said, �So if I improve on some of
the techniques we�ve been practicing I get the minerals?�

�Yes� for every move you counter, hold you break etc. you
get some of the mineral salts��

But�

�What�s the catch?� There is always a catch.

�I get something in return every time you hit a
wall.� Charlie was grinning broadly
now.

�What�s that?� I don�t think I really want to know.

�Nothing you can�t replace� so, do we have a
deal? Or would you rather hobble around
for the next several days?�

Charlie knew damn well Harry would do just about
anything to get his hands on those mineral salts. And really, how bad could it be?
He trusted Charlie�

Sort of.

�Yeah, alright.�
Harry acknowledged he probably could have sounded a little more excited.

�Let�s get started then.�

Twenty minutes later found Harry back in familiar
territory, pinned to the ground under a smirking Charlie. �Better.
Let�s try again.�

An hour later and he was pinned under Charlie, sweaty,
with no intention of getting up ever.
Charlie must have sensed his defeat.
�Alright, alright. Enough for
today; you should probably freshen up before dinner. You did make some progress though.�

Harry sighed as Charlie started to sit up. �Not enough though.� Harry glanced longingly at the vial sitting
over on a side table.

Charlie paused in his efforts to get up, pulled his wand
and Accio�d the vial to him. He poured
a few mineral salts out and pressed them into Harry�s sweaty palm.

�But I didn�t win.
You said�� Harry looked truly confused as to why Charlie had given him
some of the salts.

�I said improvement Harry, not perfection.� Charlie looked relatively amused at Harry�s
stunned expression.

�But I still couldn�t get past some of the moves�� Harry
couldn�t believe what he was saying, he should just take the reward; it was
more than he�d received in months.

�You know, you�re right, you didn�t�� Charlie quickly had
Harry pinned to the floor again and in the blink of an eye his lips had
descended onto Harry�s.

The kiss was gentle and pliant and leading. And before Harry knew it, it was over. Charlie hoisted him up and gave him a little
nudge to the door.

�See you tomorrow, Harry.�

It wasn�t until Harry was upstairs drawing a bath that
his mind started to catch up to the events of the last fifteen minutes. Charlie had kissed him. He�d never even thought of another guy like
that before, well before this week anyway.
It was weird! But for a moment it had felt good, good to be held like
that, good to be directed, good to yield.

Harry�s own emotions (and traitorous body) unsettled him
a bit. He�d never felt quite like that
kissing Ginny. But then it wasn�t
Ginny he was thinking about when he finally gave in and stroked himself to
completion. Coming down from the best
release he�d had in weeks, he could only hope it was attributed to the warm
water and bath salts and NOT to an unnamed member of the Weasley family.

I�m not gay!

But he wasn�t dreading his next encounter with
Charlie either.

***

The next afternoon found Harry heading downstairs to meet
Charlie for another lesson. He was
strangely content in doing so; he�d been up all night trying to figure out why
Charlie had kissed him, and ultimately he�d decided it was just part of the
game they were playing. Hardly a
sacrifice to be kissed like that, and Charlie probably didn�t mean anything by
it anyway. After all, why would he?

I�m years younger than he is; he�s probably had loads
of experience. Its just a game�

And as long as it was a game it didn�t hurt
anyone. Harry didn�t care; Charlie was
fun to work with - Moody never been half so patient or lenient. And so long as it was just a game Harry
didn�t have to worry about hurting Ron or Ginny; he didn�t have to stress
himself out about anything. It was just
a game.

Harry entered the library to find that Charlie had
already moved all of the furniture to the side of the room and had conjured the
mats. He was standing off near the
desk, charming what looked to be an hourglass.
Charlie�s head popped up and he turned with a smile when he heard the
door click closed.

�Hey Harry, how�d those salts work for you?�

�They were great, thanks.� And they had been.
Despite his rampaging thoughts, what sleep Harry had managed had been
the best he�d had in months. (Even
despite the fact that his dreams featured a red head who was not all curves and
soft skin.) His muscles were a little
stiff when he woke up but they really weren�t sore at all. That, of course, hadn�t lasted; Shacklebolt
worked him over rather hard that morning.
Probably due to all of the teasing Tonks had done.

�Did you break it?�
At Charlie�s questioning look he continued, �The hourglass, I mean.�

�Huh� oh, no. I
charmed it. Every time you make
adequate progress some of the rock salts will filter down to the bottom. At the end of the afternoon whatever has
accumulated is yours to keep.�

Harry nodded his approval. He was definitely looking forward to getting his hands on more of
those salts. If he rationed them he
could use them later when Moody started to work with him on wandless casting.

For the first forty-five minutes Harry and Charlie worked
on the moves he�d already learned or been exposed to. Harry was gratified when he saw minerals fall more than
once. But twenty minutes into new
territory and Harry found himself pinned to the mats. This time Charlie didn�t hesitate; his lips met Harry�s in a
gentle probing kiss. Though still a
little surprised, Harry managed to relax a little. The second time Charlie pinned him he kissed the very corner of
his mouth, his tongue coming out to just barely taste his lips before the
moment was over and they started again.
The third time it happened, Harry gave an experimental push back with
his lips, eliciting a slightly longer and stronger swipe of tongue across his
lips from Charlie. The last time he was
pinned, well over three hours after they�d begun the lesson, Charlie worried
Harry�s bottom lip before rising and offered a slightly dazed Harry a hand up.

That night in the bath, after a little further
relaxation, Harry reflected that it was the strangest game he�d ever
played.

The trend continued the next day as well as the Saturday
lesson, which was in the morning because of an Order meeting that
afternoon. It would be the first
meeting Harry was allowed to attend, and he was slightly nervous. That was why at the end of the lesson, after
he�d collected his minerals (he had quite a few), he sat down on the sofa in
the study rather than immediately leave.
Charlie joined him, offering a cold glass of water.

�You nervous about this afternoon?� Charlie was able to read Harry amazingly
well, and Harry found him easy to talk to.

�A little. I hope
there is good news; we need to locate the last two Horcruxes.� All that remained were Nagini and
Hufflepuff�s cup. The Order had found
and disposed of all the others.

�I�m sure the Order has it covered, though you�ll
probably have to be involved when they dispose of Nagini, considering your
expertise and all.� Charlie gave him a
friendly smile.

�I know, and I want to get it over with, but that will
also mean I�ll be that much closer to facing Voldemort.� Charlie didn�t even blink at the name.

�And when you do you�ll have the entire Order to stand
with you.�

�Yeah�� Harry hung his head slightly, slowly turning the
cool glass of water in his hands.
Charlie reached out and gently turned Harry�s face to him.

�None of the Order would ask you to stand alone, Harry,
and none of the Weasleys would permit it.�
Harry smiled reflexively at the warmth and protection Charlie
emitted. He felt so comfortable right
there, in that moment. At least he did
until Charlie leaned in, plucked his glasses from his face, and kissed him.

This kiss was every bit as slow and gentle as the others
had been and Harry felt himself relax into it.
Then Charlie started to coax a little more, running his hand from
Harry�s face through his hair, coming to rest at the back of his neck. When Charlie pulled back just a bit Harry
opened his mouth to breathe, only to receive a warm wet tongue instead. The unexpected and pleasant contact sent a
shiver through Harry�s body, eliciting a moan from both of them. And before Harry knew how he got there,
Charlie had him underneath him and fully reclined on the couch. Harry couldn�t help but reciprocate
Charlie�s lavish attentions with his tongue.
Though timid at first, Harry grew slightly bolder and more
confident. All of his body was
responding completely to Charlie. It
wasn�t until he felt Charlie�s hand moving up his chest under his shirt
that reality started to come back.
Gently pushing a dazed Charlie up and off, he quickly sat up, trying in
vain to arrange himself in a way that would minimize his obvious arousal.

�Um, we should probably get ready for the meeting. Your mum is probably already here
cooking.� Harry was desperate for anything
to say to explain his obvious unease.

Charlie sighed, looking slightly disappointed. �You�re right; I�d better go see if Mum
needs any help before I jump in a shower.�
Charlie made his way over the desk and retrieved Harry�s minerals from
the hourglass. He pressed them into
Harry�s sweaty palm before stealing another kiss and leaving the room.

Later while lying in the bath, Harry wondered where he�d
lost control. Charlie had kissed him
outside of the parameters of the game.

Ugh, I kissed him back! And not just kissed but snogged, snogged silly, the way I used to
think about snogging Ginny!

Worse was that deep down he knew that he�d enjoyed it
so much more. Hell, he�d enjoyed it so
much that in a blink of an eye he�d been reclined on the couch with Charlie�s
hand up his shirt moaning!

Before he even knew what was happening he was moaning
again, this time from the mere memory of their interactions. His erection hadn�t abated after fleeing
Charlie�s presence. Harry whimpered as
his cock twitched at the thought of Charlie.
He couldn�t help himself as he reached below the water, firmly grasping
the crux of his problem. It just felt
so good. Charlie caused such
intense reactions in him. It was all
too easy to forget everything outside the four walls of the bathroom as he
began to truly stoke himself. It took
little imagination to feel Charlie�s lips on his, his hand once again splayed
on his chest.

Harry was sweating now, though from the steam of the
bath or the phantom Charlie�s ministrations he didn�t know. He gasped when he could nearly feel
Charlie�s lips moving from his lips to his throat, gently sucking in the way
Charlie had treated his lower lip earlier.
Harry couldn�t help but pump himself faster, his pre-come adding a
smoother texture to the warm water. The
ghostly lips traveled down his chest, never stopping their trek for long,
eliciting a nearly pained moan from Harry.
And finally, just when he was sure those lips were going to wrap around
his cock he lost control, coming harder by his own hand than he�d ever thought
possible.

Harry�s orgasm left him flushed and panting. The sensations were so intense, even when
Charlie wasn�t here to provide them.
He�d never had such a reaction to anyone before.

Harry groaned sliding further into the hot bath, his
stomach doing that disturbing burning thing again. What would Ron or Ginny have thought? For him to have these kinds of reactions to Charlie felt like
betrayal. Worse, he�d just imagined
doing so much more than kissing. That
orgasm was due almost entirely to his own imagination!

Harry didn�t know what to think. Clearly things weren�t all games between him
and Charlie and in truth he�d known that from the start, but he didn�t think
something like this afternoon could happen again,

Ugh, I need to talk to someone and fast. But who?
The only people I see anymore are my trainers, and I can�t talk to them.

Harry could just imagine the howling laughter from
Tonks and he didn�t really know Shacklebolt that well. Hell, Moody would probably try to train it
out of him.

Remus, Remus would be over for the meeting. He usually stayed to have tea with Harry
afterwards. Maybe he could bring it up
to him.

***

The meeting went generally as expected, though Harry was
a little disappointed. After waiting so
long to finally attend one, it was rather anti-climactic. Over two hours had been spent with general
reports, many of which were too technical or specific for him to really
follow. It was strange, though, that
the high point of the meeting had centered around Snape.

Snape had reported to the Order last and had had some
very promising news. He believed he had
ascertained the location of Hufflepuff�s cup, and plans had been set into
motion to retrieve the Horcrux and destroy it.
All that remained was for the opportunity to take the cup. Moody had even suggested that Harry be
included in the field retrieval. All in
all it had been good news. And while
Harry had been uncomfortable around Snape, there hadn�t been any open hostility
on either side. It had been less
uncomfortable sitting across the table from Snape than it currently was sitting
across the table from Remus.

�Harry, is everything alright? You said you needed to speak with me, but you haven�t really said
anything.� Remus poured two cups of tea
and pushed the sugar and milk across to Harry.

�I don�t really know where to start, but I think I need
some advice.�

�Well why don�t you start at the beginning and we�ll work
from there alright?�

Well you see Remus, I�ve been snogging Charlie lately
and I am not sure how I feel about that�

Harry snorted at the mental picture of Remus choking
on his tea.

�It can�t be all that bad if you�re laughing already.�

�I guess, its just kind of awkward.�

�That�s alright.
I tell you what, just spit it out and I promise we will figure things
out.�

There was a long pause before Harry mumbled something
unintelligible and flushed to the roots of his hair.

�One more time Harry, this time with some conviction.�

�I, uh, I�ve sort of been kissing Charlie.� There was a long pause, so long that Harry
looked up to see Remus� reaction.
Remus was just kind of sitting there, staring.

�Oh, oh that�s it?�

�Isn�t that enough?�
Harry squeaked.

�Of course, I just thought there was something
wrong.� Remus sobered suddenly. �He didn�t force you, did he?�

�What, no! No, of
course not. It�s just, I kind of
thought it was a game, but then it kind of got a little out of control. You�re not upset?� Harry looked truly bewildered.

�Of course not.
Lots of people explore in their youth.�

�But I liked kissing girls��

�The two aren�t mutually exclusive, Harry. You wouldn�t be the first person to like a
variety of company.� Harry looked
rather uncomfortable and wasn�t terribly forthcoming so Remus ventured on. �You do enjoy the company, right?�

That was all it took to have Harry reflecting on that
morning. A small smile played at his
lips but then he shifted rather uncomfortably, suddenly all too aware of his
body�s reactions.

Remus must have noticed his small smile and uncomfortable
squirm.

�I�ll take that as a yes. I guess I don�t see the problem Harry. You�re entitled to still enjoy your youth. Exploration is a natural part of that.�

�It just makes me a little uncomfortable, I guess.� Harry shifted again.

In more ways than one.

�How so?�

�Well it�s just that Charlie, well he�s Charlie. Isn�t it weird I dated his sister and that
I�m best friends with his brother?�

�Should it be?
You wouldn�t be the first to find a relationship in a family you�ve
known for a long time.�

�I know, it�s just that I feel guilty. I told Ginny we couldn�t be together while
Voldemort was still around. I�m afraid
they won�t understand.� In fact, just
thinking about Ginny and Ron�s reactions unnerved him. So much so that it made his interactions
with Charlie rather uncomfortable.

�Look, Harry.
You�re entitled to explore your options and you�re allowed to experience
new things with new people. You
shouldn�t be dishonest, but as long as you�re enjoying your time with
Charlie then that�s fine. It�s not
unusual to be uncomfortable in new situations, Harry. Exploring these sorts of feelings is part of growing up. Charlie�s a good guy, he�ll stick with what
you�re comfortable with.�

�Yeah, I guess you�re right.� Harry shot a grateful smile at Remus, though he sounded strangely
defeated. He hadn�t really gotten
anywhere talking to Remus. He still
felt really uncomfortable pursuing things with Charlie, despite how much he
enjoyed their interactions. Remus
seemed to think that it was all right but Harry just didn�t really want the
additional worry. He left the kitchen
completely preoccupied, nearly knocking into Snape on his way out the
door. With a mumbled apology he
scurried up the stairs, never stopping to consider how long Snape had been
standing there.

***

Severus found himself grinding his teeth flat listening
to Lupin and Potter converse. It seemed
that everyone was bound and determined to ruin any chance Potter had at
destroying the Dark Lord. It was clear
to Severus that Potter had been looking for Lupin to give him a way out of his
situation.

But no, Lupin just had to tell Potter to pursue things
with Weasley. He once again missed his
opportunity to lessen Potter�s stress.
Well no matter. If Lupin won�t
do something, I will.

His best sneer in place, Severus stalked to the library,
where he�d seen Weasley nursing a fire whiskey and reading a book.

�Weasley. A
moment, if you please?� Snape�s tone
implied a command rather than a question.

�Professor. What do you need?� Charlie hardly glanced up from his book.

Fine. If you
want to play it that way.

�I�m here to discuss your liaison with
Potter.�

�I don�t know what you�re talking about and even if I
did, I hardly think it would be any of your business, Professor.�

This
particular Weasley never was terribly intimidated by me. Then again, I am no longer restrained by the
role of an educator.

Severus stalked over and plucked the book from
Charlie�s fingers, slamming it down on the desk and turning to glare at the man
sprawled on the couch.

�Your intimidation tactics hardly bother me anymore,
Professor; I�m hardly one of your wayward students any longer.�

�Then act like the adult you profess to be. Potter just spent the last twenty minutes
explaining to Lupin why he is so uncomfortable around you!�

�I�d hardly consider Harry uncomfortable. Shy maybe, but then that�s rather
endearing.� Charlie knew he was pushing
Snape�s temper, but after years of the man�s potions lessons he couldn�t really
help it. Besides, he was curious as to
Snape�s interest in Harry.

�Then why did he just finish telling Lupin how stressed
the situation was making him? Did you
take no consideration as to what sort of situation this may cause within your
family? Potter doesn�t need this type
of distraction or stress!� Snape was
practically yelling at this point, looming over Charlie like a rabid gargoyle.

�Harry would say something if he were uncomfortable. He knows he can talk to me.� Though a small part of Charlie acknowledged
that this explained Harry�s reaction this morning.

�He shouldn�t have to.
As you said you�re the adult.
Act. Like. It.�

�What�s your stake in this?�

�I haven�t spent the course of my life gathering
information for you people to bungle it at the last moment! In case you�ve forgotten, all our efforts
hinge on Potter. He doesn�t need any
additional stress.�

�Fine. I�ll speak
with Harry, happy?�

It couldn�t hurt to speak to Harry in any case. He certainly didn�t mean to upset him and he
definitely didn�t want to hurt him.

�Elated.�

Severus left for the floo; it was well past time for him
to return to his home. If Weasley had
any sense of decency he would give Potter an out, and if not, well Severus was
sure he could be more persuasive.

He never saw the stunned and slightly grateful looking
Potter standing near the stairs, teacup slack in his hands, cooling tea pooling
near his feet.

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Burdens of the Heart

Early June