Honey and Saliva | By : indira Category: Harry Potter > General > General Views: 2029 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story. |
Title: Honey and Saliva : Resolution
Author: Indira Neill
Pairings: HarryxRon and OliverxPercy are the only ones that really matter anymore
Comment: Oh I'm so sorry, I didn't realize it was a sin to have a lead male in a yaoi to have a female friend. I've always found that rather silly you know. Ah well. Oh yeah, should I mention the fact this chapter contains "the motive". Fear it. That and I wrote this while listening to industrial music o.O
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We'll be together so soon Oliver, so soon. Nothing will be able to keep us apart once I find him, once I know why you were taken from me it will all make sense and you will be avenged and we'll be together. It will be so sweet when we are together again, when our blood runs through the same veins and we can taste each other. I'm so much more then I used to be Oliver, I love you so much more. I don't question our love like I used to. No, there is no reason to because now I understand. I belong to you Oliver, we belong to each other and he tore us apart. God tore us apart. I hate God because I love you and there is no other way to go about it. God tried to keep us apart but even He cannot stop me now. Nothing can stop me from coming to you. Wait for me, love.
--
"You have to take me to him, Harry, you know that."
He still looks so small, still looks thirteen even though he'll be sixteen soon. Time sort of froze in that moment I suppose. It was hard enough trying to track down Harry at his Muggle relatives I couldn't imagine having to find Ron on my own. I know Harry doesn't want to take me to him. He's afraid of what I'll do. I won't do anything to Ron though, I don't want to do anything I just want to know everything. This is something I can't learn from books or teachers, this is something Ron has to tell me.
"He regrets it now, you know? Now that he understands, he wishes he could take it back."
"I've already forgiven him."
"He doesn't need your forgiveness."
He's a murderer, that's what Ron is. I have a murderer for a brother but I don't care, I never did. He's my brother, a brother that killed my lover and now the whole world is crashing down around me. I don't have much time. And Harry so small and frail but so brave and strong. I may not have seen my brother in over two years but I know his entire life up to this point by just looking in Harry's jade eyes. They tell me enough to connect the dots. They tell me what I already know.
"Harry? Are you alright?"
Hermione Granger's voice just outside the door with the chipping white paint. A pretty little voice, an innocent one with all the sweetness of adolescence. She's just on the other side of the door but she doesn't know how far away she really is. A single door can mean everything even if there is a keyhole to look through. A turn of the handle and she's crossed the obstacle of the door. Physical obstacles are nothing compared to those in our mind. Her hair isn't bushy as it used to be but softly curly and a perfect frame to her unusually plain features. She's almost pretty. She's almost Penelope.
"Percy."
The next thing I know she's hugging me as if we were long time friends and not mere acquaintances. She's tall for her age and sex and in her platformed Mary Jane shoes she probably stands taller then Harry but not quite as tall as I. Ron's probably taller then all of us. She smells like vanilla, she smells like Penny. Her eyes are the kind of dark, deathly brown I always wished I had. You could drown in her eyes, I'm drowning in her kindness.
"Percy, come with us and we'll show you him."
He doesn't dare seek my eyes. People with light eyes, you can always read their emotions from them. Blue, green, hazel, amber, violet, people with eyes like that, you can see right through into their soul. But Hermione and I, no, all you see in our eyes is darkness. There is nothing else but that to see in my eyes.
--
"I planned to kill Oliver Wood three days before I did it."
There is no hello, no acknowledgement, no eye contact. He just starts speaking to me as if I were a tape recorder, not as if I were a human. He just knows I am here and he begins with this story. I don't need context or an introduction to it, the context and the introduction is my life.
"Charlie had given me a knife for Christmas, it was beautiful. I don't have it anymore. Every time I looked at it I got sick, every time I looked at it I saw Percy and Oliver in bed together. That knife drove me crazy."
He doesn't even talk as if I'm there.
"I got it for Christmas and I thought it was pretty but I didn't think much more of it. Maybe if over the summer I went to visit Charlie I could find some use for it. It seemed like a pretty impractical gift even if it was beautiful. I kept it next to my bed in the top drawer of the dresser next to my wand. The only other person who ever saw it was Harry, I didn't want it taken away or anything. So I forgot about it for a few months. Then there was that day at the Quidditch pitch, I was watching Harry fly. There still is nothing like watching Harry fly, he's just so natural about it, like the broom knows what he wants ages before he knows it himself. And then Percy came running out to the pitch like a madman. I had no idea what was wrong.
"And then just for a moment I caught Percy's eyes. They looked so scared, so afraid when Oliver touched him. They screamed out to me 'help help' something was wrong but I didn't know what. After a week or two I didn't think about it anymore though and then it hit me. And it was such an odd way it hit me too. Harry, well, Harry kissed me. Oh it was totally innocent on the cheek and all, real friendly you know. But it sparked something in my mind. All those little things between Oliver and Percy, they were snogging each other. I knew it then because I realized all the little things Harry and I did to each other they did too. It was weird because I'm not, that way, but it all clicked together. Oliver Wood and my brother Percy.
"Well, that's about the time I started thinking about the knife again. It just seemed so much prettier when I looked at it after that. It had never been used and it was just perfect and all. Once I accidentally sliced my finger with it because I was admiring it a bit too closely I guess. The blood was so red and wet and tempting. That's the night I realized that it was my duty to kill Oliver Wood.
"The idea just sort of came from no where in particular. But I repeated it over and over in my head. It was my right, my duty to kill Oliver. I kept trying to figure out why. My mind kept telling me that I had to do it but I didn't know why I had to do it. It was so consuming. The more I thought about it the less I knew where the idea began. At dinner, the night before, Oliver whispered something into Percy's ears and he blushed a sort of innocent red. He looked uncomfortable and tense. And then I realized that Percy didn't want Oliver to be doing these things. Percy wasn't in love with Oliver, not at all. I went back to my dorm and looked at the knife again, ghosting over where I had cut myself.
"I decided that the next night I would go talk to Percy, just talk to him and find out what was going on. Maybe then I could drive away those uneasy feelings. I didn't want to kill Oliver, but that voice, that voice kept speaking to me over and over to do it. I had to drive it away. Where I normally kept my wand, in the sleeve of my robes I slid the knife in. It was heavier then my second-hand wand and it pulled down my arm as I walked from the third year to seventh year dorms. I pulled open the heavy wooded door and there, on the lovely four poster bed, was my brother. My brother and Oliver Wood there, just there, lost to everything. The look of pain on Percy's face, I couldn't stand it. I snapped, took the knife from the sleeve of my robe and cut deep."
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I know you can hear me Oliver, why do you never speak back? I love you. I was wrong before when I said I didn't. I was lying to myself when I said it was an innocent little crush. We were made for each other, Oliver. Your blood runs through my veins and I try to bleed you back out. Everything I do I do for your sake. But still you do not come for me. I wasn't good enough for you then but I'm a changed man. I can be everything you'd ever want. I submit myself completely to you. Just please tell me again that you love me. Tell me again there is no one else. Even in death there can be no greater match. Can their be? God can't keep us apart any longer. I will give up God for you. Only for you. All for you.
--
"I killed Oliver Wood because I did. Because the series of events ended there. You can't change what you do. You can't change who you love or who you hurt. I can't change it now. The voice still comes to me sometimes. It tells me I did the right thing. I'm sorry."
You can't change what you do. You can't change who you love or who you hurt. I can't change it now.
We all have the voices that haunt us. Oliver's voice is so clear in my mind even now. Oliver and Marcus and Penelope, they all talk to me in my sleep. They paint the beautiful murals of my consciousness with fear and love and malice. I don't know who's voices paint the walls of Ron's mind. The images forever stained on the glass of his eyes can only be seen by him. Who am I to question the motivations of the living dead?
His stained eyes fill with tears and I know someone is talking to him inside the depths of his mind. Harry whispers into his ear trying to drown out the internal voices with the power of his. Ron and I know that's impossible nothing can take away the voices who make you who you are. Herm sit sits to Ron's other side silently watching on and Harry kisses his way down Ron's neck trying to comfort him. She's such an angel.
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