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Codename: Creampuff	By : Tigerrr Category: Harry Potter > Het - Male/Female > Lucius/Hermione Views: 16839 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
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***DISCLAIMER***JKR owns all.� And I�m still jealous over it.

A/N: Presenting: Chapter Four, in which I take Ctrl + I to a
whole new level.� God, I love those two buttons�.and this
chapter�s a long �un.

WARNING!!!! Mild Slashiness Ahead! Plus, there�s a girl
fight!

***********************************************************************

Constantly surprised by the way Lucius seemed to be
adjusting, Hermione was observing her partner�s latest endeavor with interest;
he had thrown himself into their project seemingly headlong and now excelled in
not only their strip-dance class, but all the others as well.� Joy was, predictably, overjoyed at her
recalcitrant client�s newfound enthusiasm but always found time to tut over
Hermione�s slower progress.� �Someone needs an attitude enhancement,� she would chirp.� Hermione often wondered the woman had been
born speaking in italics.

Hermione had decided that both of them needed their own
�routine� and over the past two months had rented videos and purchased books on
exotic dancing � she flipped through an oversized tome and perused the large
color photographs printed inside, her eyes settling on one dancer�s
costume.� �Belly dancing,� she read
aloud.� Hmm. That might not be a bad idea
� it was sexy, but not so much that it would embarrass the life out of
her.� And she thought that she had seen a
few belly dancing classes advertised in the local Muggle paper.

The door opened and Lucius/Lucy came in from another of the
classes he had signed himself up for.�
�What are we watching tonight?� he asked, dropping his bag b the sofa
and continuing into the bathroom for a shower and shedding his clothing as he
walked.

�I thought you showered at the club,� she teased as she
looked up the address of the nearest belly dancing studio.

Lucius stuck his head out of the door.� �You know how distracted I get with all those
nude women around me,� he laughed.� �Are
we watching anything tonight, or shall we go out? We�re invited to go to The
Lion�s Den.�� He disappeared back into
the other room and she heard the water turn on, so she set up her classes with
a few phone calls.� Turning to face the
bathroom door as she heard it open, she was confronted by the sight of her nude
(and still wet) flatmate emerging.� He
raised his eyebrows at her and continued into his room to put on some clothes
while Hermione sighed.� She had gotten
used to his presence, she had gotten used to his supercilious attitude�she had
even gotten used to the fact that he
was now technically a she.� But she would never get used to the fact
that, even in a female form, Lucius Malfoy was still gorgeous and still made
her feel insignificant.� Granted, he had
almost become a friend to her (he still came out with the most incredibly
racist remarks about her heritage at every conceivable opportunity) but there
was still that something about him
that put her off her ease.

�She would have given
much to see him in his normal, male form � something about him being, in
effect, a female made her feel
uneasy.� She often caught herself staring
at him, at the finely sculpted features and the body she was downright envious
of�but that was all it was � envy.� Right?
He had said it himself, once she had been a bit surly about Joy�s
chidings:� �You�re simply jealous because
I�m a better woman than YOU are,� he had hooted, enjoying her discomfort
tremendously.

�Who invited �us� to that club? I never heard anything about
it,� she called.�

Lucius came out dressed in a finely tailored black suit and
sprawled in the antique armchair.� �It�s
a strip club,� he said nonchalantly, examining his nails.� �We can�t be watching those�things all the time; we need to see what
we�re up against.� Plus seeing fat
Muggles gyrating, reflected in five full-length mirrors, isn�t doing a thing
for my digestive process.� That Aurora something-or-other
invited us.�

Hermione folded her arms and looked at him.� �And this �Aurora�� is she a witch or something?�

�Even better � she�s a lesbian�what
are you reading?� Lucius reached over to grab the information she had been
gathering.� �Belly Dancing? Really.��
He cast an appraising eye over her and tossed the papers back with an
inscrutable look on his face.

�What�s that
supposed to mean?�

�Nothing. Are we going?�

Hermione sighed and nodded.�
�Let me get dressed.�

�Need any help with that?�

�What?�

�Nothing.�

***************************************

They met �Aurora� at the entrance to the exclusive club � if
that was her real name and those were her real breasts, Hermione had some
stress-free accommodations in Azkaban that she could sell.� But perhaps the bottle blonde would rather
purchase a new case of peroxide, she thought uncharitably.� �They�re with me,� Aurora told the bouncers, who waved them past
with knowing grins on their faces.�

Once inside they were assailed by music so loud that
Hermione�s eardrums threatened to burst, and she discretely cast a Charm on her
ears and then one on Lucius unthinkingly � he turned to look at her oddly, and
then inclined his head slightly in appreciation.� Several small stages featuring writhing,
half-clad women were staggered up and down the length of the room, with crowds
of appreciative male patrons gathered around each.� �Why don�t you two just mingle until you see
someone you like?� Aurora
yelled.� �I�ve got to go get ready for my
act.��

A group of rowdy patrons swept by them and Hermione had just
enough time to catch a glimpse of a huge man cornering Lucius before they were
separated and she lost sight of her partner in the crowd.� She struggled around the group and bumped
directly into the colossus who had trapped her flatmate: the man was staggering
around with his hands locked to his crotch, an expression of pain on his
face.� �That bitch!� he snarled to no one in particular as he barreled
past.�

She found Lucius coolly patting his hair into place while
his other admirers gave him a wide berth.�
�Thought I was the �talent,� can you believe that nonsense?� he asked as
she came up to him.

�You�re more beautiful than any of the dancers in here, so I
don�t know why he would think you worked here,� Hermione said absently as she
looked around, thus missing the startled but not completely displeased look in
her companion�s eyes.� �Let�s go over
there first � she�s got a bullwhip or something.�� She grasped his hand so that they wouldn�t
become separated a second time, and pulled him over to the selected stage where
a woman dressed as Lara Croft was snapping a whip at the delighted males
gathered around.� �This is complete
bollocks � let�s go see that one,� she suggested seconds later.

�That whip might not be such a bad idea�hang on,� Lucius
exclaimed as she pulled him out of his seat.�
They arrived at another stage where a lithe dancer was twined about the
pole and shaking her hips suggestively � there was no room to sit, so they
stood back to watch.� Hermione decided to
definitely pursue those belly dancing classes�it looked very sexy, yet not too much so (she didn�t want to be
caught doing a raunchy strip dance for, say, �Remus
Lupin �or someone like that by
accident, now did she?) and the dancer�s audience certainly looked
appreciative.� They made a complete
circuit of the club and watched the various routines - Lucius rolled his eyes
when he caught her taking notes � until they settled on watching another
beautiful dancer who had incorporated a snake into her belly dancing act.�

Hermione could see (scattered throughout the club) that
several patrons were husband and wife, paying for private lap dances for each
other; she watched one such young couple interestedly and turned back to Lucius
to see him staring at the stripper who was by now almost completely nude.� �Lucius.�
Your eyes are glazing over,� she called, waving a hand in front of his
face.

He blinked in surprise and turned to her.� �Is that
what you�re learning?� he asked, running his eyes over her in a manner that
made her flush hotly and nod slightly.�
�Will you show me back at the flat?��

�Oh, you,� Hermione countered.� �Um, isn�t that your friend over there?�� They stayed to watch Aurora�s act � she was dressed as a cowgirl,
much to Lucius� amusement.� Hermione
rolled her eyes as the buxom stripper pretended to fire her pistols in the air
(they were actually bright pink water guns) and then winked in their direction.� It didn�t help Hermione�s mood any Lucius was
practically drooling as he stared at Aurora, who was now down to a cow-print
bikini (also in hot pink) and fringed chaps.�
�You might want to reel your tongue in before someone trips on it,
Malfoy,� she said sarcastically.� Really.�

Lucius was jarred out of his lust-induced trance long enough
to blink, look over at her, and say �Don�t tell me you�re jealous,� before turning back to the stage just in time to be hit
in the face with Aurora�s brassiere.

What was going on here? This was supposed to be a learning
exercise, not a chance for him to get an eyeful of naked women, Hermione
thought irritably.� She began to stand up
when Lucius, without taking his eyes from the stage, reached a hand over and
placed it on her thigh. �We�ll go once she�s finished,� he murmured.�

The hand on her thigh stayed.

Hermione could feel his touch burning into her leg, all her
awareness centered on the way his skin rested against hers.� Lucius glanced over at her as she moved her
hand over his and they locked eyes. �Hermione could dimly hear the appreciative
applause as Aurora�s
act came to a close with a cry of �Yeeeehaw!� but still she gazed into the
beautiful blue eyes of the man at her side.�
Well, not really a man, she thought ruefully�then she
stopped thinking (as well as breathing) as Lucius Malfoy began to lean towards
her and touched his lips to hers.

Warmth expanded throughout her body, overriding her shock �
she was about to return the kiss when she suddenly became aware of the circle
of grinning men.� �Keep going!� whooped a
fat, balding man enthusiastically.� She
was horrified and sprang up to leave, hurrying for the exit with Lucius close
behind and calling out for her to wait.

�Hermione! Hermione,
stop,� he yelled.� The bouncers at the
door surveyed them interestedly.

She whirled on him.�
�That was so embarrassing � how could you?�

Lucius blinked in surprise.�
�Because I felt like doing it � you didn�t seem to mind until you
realized that they were watching,� he pointed out.� �You�re gathering a crowd; let�s go over
there if you want to talk.�� He gestured
to a nearby entrance to the Underground and Hermione allowed herself to be
guided over.

�I want to go home,� she asserted as soon as they were out
of the earshot of the curious bouncers.�
He sighed and pulled her back into the shadows to Apparate, and they
arrived back at the flat they now shared.�
Once there, however, he began to act as if nothing untoward had happened
at all and announced that he was going to bed.�
Hermione was of two minds about this � on one hand she wanted to forget
that the kiss had happened at all and have him go to the other room, but on the
other hand she wanted him to kiss her again. Which opened up an entirely new can
of worms; up until that night she had considered herself to be a straight witch,
but now�did wanting him to kiss her again make her a lesbian?� True, she had been thinking as well as
treating him as a wizard even though he was in a witch�s body, but�she shook
her head to clear it � this was far too much to think about.� Perhaps his attractiveness in his male form
just transferred itself to his female form and made her �and there she was,
trying to rationalize it again!�

She almost jumped out of her skin when she realized he was
right behind her.� �Don�t sneak up on me!
Having Death Eaters just appear right out of nowhere doesn�t really do anything
helpful to my blood pressure,� she gasped, clapping a hand to her heart.

�I was here all the time,� he pointed out.� �And you looked like you were thinking too
much.� As I said earlier, I�m off to
bed.�

�Your room is just over there,� she said, still trying to
regulate her heartbeat.

Lucius reached over to twine a lock of her hair around his
index finger.� �I think I�d like a �good
night� kiss first�� he cocked his head and looked at her, a smile beginning to
form on his lips.� His other hand slid
around her waist, bringing her closer and she gave up trying to slow her pulse
as it sped up yet again in reaction to his proximity.

Even as her eyelids fluttered closed, she couldn�t stop
herself from performing a last bit of self-sabotage.� �I don�t think I�m a lesbian.�

A low laugh answered her.�
�You�re not? I am.�� Then his lips
were on hers and without the inhibiting presence of an audience she kissed him
back tentatively at first, then boldly as she slid her hands into the silky
mass of his hair.� It was certainly a new
sensation for her to be kissing another woman, but it just felt�right.�
They settled into long, leisurely kisses and somehow made it to the sofa
where Lucius began to explore her body with his hands.� Just as he was sliding a hand up her leg,
however, a loud rapping at the door jolted them back into reality.� �Don�t answer it,� Lucius suggested, lowering
his head to kiss the stretch of skin beneath her ear.

�What if it�s someone from the Order? I have to answer the
door-that tickles, get off of me!-to make sure.�� Hermione laughed and pushed at him until he
reluctantly allowed her up.� Smoothing
back the hair rumpled by the recent activities, she drew her wand and opened
the door.� �Professor Snape?� This is a surprise,� she greeted him.

He inclined his head to her.�
�Miss Granger.� Is Lord
Malf-pardon, Lord Creampuff available
for conversation?� he smirked.� Hermione
was sorely tempted not to let him in � he would only anger Lucius enough that
any thought of resuming their earlier interaction would be completely out of
the question.

Lucius himself solved her dilemma by appearing at her elbow
to scowl at his fellow Death Eater.�
�Come to gloat a bit more about your testosterone advantage, Severus?�

The Potions Master looked from Lucius to Hermione and then
back again.� �I wasn�t�interrupting anything, was I? I hope
not,� he deadpanned.� �I�ve just come to
deliver a message from Albums � the two of you have been recalled to Twelve Grimmauld Place,
effective tomorrow.� Apparently he feels
that two relatively vulnerable witches
living in Muggle London aren�t in the safest of positions.� Feel free to bring all you�d care to keep
safe; I believe he has enlarged several rooms at headquarters so that any
members at risk may stay there.�� He
apparently couldn�t resist goading Lucius with a final �The feminine cut of that suit looks quite fetching upon your slender frame, Luciana � I�m sure all the Weasley males would agree.� Good evening.�� With a dramatic swirl of his robes he was
gone, leaving an apoplectic Lucius Malfoy in his wake.

�Weasleys,� he muttered to himself disgustedly.�

Hermione, already angry at Snape�s original interruption,
was irritated anew at Lucius showing his true colors yet again.� �I don�t know what you have against the
Weasleys, Malfoy.� I would think
that you would actually prefer their company to mine since they happen to be as
pureblooded as your own high-and-mighty self.�
I�m going to bed,� she snarled, sweeping past him angrily.

�That�s right, play your �Poor Little Mudblood� card
again�and you know, it�s getting a bit worn out,� Lucius fired back, stopping
her in her tracks.� �You can only play
that so many times before it simply stops working.�

�What did you say,
you arrogant, conniving, manipulative, evil, malingering��

��I�m not
malingering��

�Don�t interrupt me! I wasn�t
finished!� She was shouting by this time.

�Well, don�t be all night about it � some of us need our
beauty sleep.� And by �some of us,� I�m
referring to you.�

�You�you�� Hermione was so angry, she could have spit.

�Yes, by all means�tell me more about my faults since I can
never get enough of hearing you catalog them.��
The occupants of the neighboring flat pounded on the wall for
silence.� �Fuck off!� Lucius bellowed, striding over to the wall and giving it
a resounding kick.� He stalked back to
face her and resume their interrupted argument.�
�Would you like to know something? I
don�t particularly appreciate having your finger thrust in my face every single
time you feel as if you must make a �point� about something. �Do it again, and I�ll use Side-Along
Apparation to dump you into the closest rubbish-heap.��

Infuriated beyond reason, Hermione balled her hand into a
fist and brought it in front of Lucius� face, then extended her forefinger and
thrust it at him, making him jerk his head back.� �I�d like to see you try, old man. Or has
Azkaban softened you up so that you�re no good for anything but putting on lace
knickers?��

Lucius lunged at her before she had time to blink, and they
went down in a kicking and screaming heap.�
Hair was pulled, faces were scratched, clothing was torn and the
pounding on the wall resumed with a vengeance.�
Even without his usual mass behind the action, Hermione developed a
healthy respect for his current form�s strength yet fought back all the
harder.� They separated abruptly and
circled around the coffee table, feinting and lunging for the advantage until
Hermione leaned over and swung at her opponent quickly, the flat of her palm
hitting his face with a crack.� �Ouch � Merlin! You little�� Lucius leapt over the intervening table and
tackled her.

His impetus carried them onto the couch and their bodies hit
the back of it, which (naturally) caused it to overturn so that the combatants
were dumped onto the floor.� They rolled
apart, Lucius seeking refuge behind her antique chair and Hermione huddled
behind the couch as she drew her wand.�
She could see his narrowed eyes watching her from a gap in the
upholstery and decided upon a course of action.�
�Wingardium Leviosa!� she
yelled, swishing and flicking not at the chair as he doubtless thought she
would, but at the nearby umbrella stand�which happened to have three large
umbrellas in it.� These were neatly
levitated over behind the chair and dumped on his head; she grinned at his
outraged cry of pain. She stopped smiling when he sent over a hex that turned
her skin and hair a lurid shade of orange, and was about to respond with her
finest bat bogey hex when he plainly decided that he�d had enough.

Lucius brandished her dog-eared copy of Hogwarts: A History with one hand.�
�I�ll turn it into kindling if you don�t put that wand away right this
instant,� he threatened.� He raised his
other hand from behind the chair and snapped his fingers � Hermione�s eyes
widened to see a flame appear above them.

�Put that book down!�

�Put that wand down,� he countered.

�Fine�I�m putting it away,� she yelled. �Now, put down the
book!�

�Throw your wand over here first.�

�Absolutely not.�

�Then get out the marshmallows, Granger.�

�Stop! I�ll put it on the coffee table,� she compromised.

�Nice and slow, then�any sudden moves and your whole
bookshelf gets it,� he warned.

She gingerly deposited her wand on the table and backed
away, folding her arms.� As soon as he
released her book�Lucius� hand opened to deposit the book in the seat of the
chair and she lunged for the wand again.�
He cast a sticking charm on the book and attached it to the armchair,
backing away towards his room and pulling the entire chair with him.� Hermione swore in frustration at not being
able to get a clear shot at him and heard him laugh.� �I don�t know why you had to start this, any
road,� his voice, a bit muffled by the huge chair, rang out.� �I didn�t even say anything about you.� This time.�

She followed the chair�s retreat.� �But you were going to,� she replied,
standing on her toes to get a clearer glimpse of her prey.

�I wasn�t, why would I�back
away from the book, I can see you getting closer!� Why would I want to waste my time saying
something about you?�

�You�re going to back right into the wall if you don�t move
to the left a bit more, Creampuff, and I-�

�Don�t call me Creampuff!� The chair slid to the left slightly.

�As I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted!� I would like to know why you feel the
overpowering urge to continually belittle me � do you really hate me that
much?� I can see your hair; perhaps I
should turn it pink��

The eyes returned to the gap and glared at her.� At least that was what she thought they were
doing � she couldn�t see his entire face.�
�Don�t even think about it, and I don�t hate you�.much.�

�You don�t.� Uh-huh.�

�I said, �much.��
You�re not all that bad, actually.�
When you try.� And when you don�t
hen-peck the living daylights out of a bloke.�
And when you��

�Okay, I�m getting the idea.�� Hermione lowered the wand and tossed it on
the seat of the chair.

Lucius stood and removed the book to hold it out to
her.� �Are you really that tired?� he
asked.� �And do you have something for my
scratches? Your nails are sharper than they look�and I think I need a brush.�

Hermione smiled, accepting the unspoken truce.� They decided to leave the living area in a
shambles since they were scheduled to leave in the morning to Order
headquarters and dealt with the cuts and bruises caused by their fight.� The ever-infuriating man stole another kiss
as they went to their separate rooms, and she was left wide awake in her bed
wishing fervently that she could see him in his normal, male form at least once.

In the morning, she sent Crookshanks into his room for his
daily wake-up call and walked out to make tea when the half-Kneazle came
streaking back out of the other room and mewling loudly.� Her familiar circled around her and pushed
his head against the backs of her legs insistently until she sighed and headed
in to wake the wizard herself.� �Lucius,
wake up � we�re setting you free among the Weasleys today,� she teased.� The blankets on the bed shifted slightly and
a grunt issued from them.� �Lucius! Come
on�� She reached for a handful of the sheets and pulled them back, revealing�

Oh.

Oh!

Hermione knew that he didn�t usually wear pyjamas to bed,
and had actually become accustomed to his style of casual nudity around the
flat and in the changing rooms of the health club they both attended, but it
had always been a naked female form
she had seen.� She was now looking at the
most magnificently nude male form she had ever seen in her life�and apparently
all the stories about a morning erection were true.� As he was still sleeping, she had no qualms
about staying to stare�

She lifted her face to the ceiling.�� If you�re listening�thank you very much.�

Tbc�

*******************************************************************************
Thank you so much for the reviews, and sorry for the
sporadic updates; I�ve been going to Uni and have a class which is beyond
insane�I�d much rather enjoy my old age by writing stories instead of reading
plays, but hey.� We can�t always get what
we want.� I hope you�re enjoying the
story thus far and not mad at me because Hermione�s chapters are not as funny
as Lucius�.

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Codename: Creampuff