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Dying to Stay Alive	By : GryffindorToy Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Harry/Draco Views: 3275 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 3
- 4
Disclaimer: I don�t own it. If I had a dollar for every
disclaimer I had to type� I�d be a very happy person�

XXXhdXXX

Saturday rolled along all too fast
for Harry. He woke up at nearly eleven o�clock
and sighed, getting out of bed. He dressed in a pair of black, semi-tight, low
riding jeans, a form fitting black tee shirt with �Booze is the answer. I don�t
remember the question.� written across it in green, and a pair of converse
high-tops. He put an emerald stud in his nose and a small silver hoop in his ear,
put on a black leather choker, and headed to lunch. When he walked into the
Great Hall, every head turned to stare at him. He sat down next to Seamus, who
was ginning like a madman.

�You always have to make a big
entrance, don�t you?� he asked.

�Of course,� he said, tossing his
head back in mock arrogance.

Seamus chuckled. �So� it�s your
big day with- him.�

�You make it sound like we�re
getting married,� Harry said, laughing.

�Hey, a commitment�s a
commitment,� Seamus said.

Harry laughed again. �Who says he
even wants a commitment? For all we
know, he could just want a piece of ass.�

Seamus raised an eyebrow at him.
�If all he wanted was a good tumble, he wouldn�t be plotting my death in his
mind.�

�What? He�s still going?� Harry looked up and smirked when he saw the way Draco
was clutching his fork in a white-knuckled grip. �I�m going to go. Somebody
looks like he wants to talk.�

Seamus pulled him down as he stood
and kissed him long and hard. When he was finally able to stand, he was
blushing brilliantly. Seamus flashed him a grin and winked. �Good luck, Harry.�

�Er�
thanks�� Harry said, walking out of the Great Hall and shutting the door on the
loud whispers. He made it to the room with no interruptions and slipped in
unnoticed, waiting by the open window for Draco.

The blonde entered the room,
shutting the door sharply. Harry could tell he was straining against his anger
when he turned and looked directly at him. His ice-blue eyes were on fire, his
entire body was tensed, and his fists were clenched at his sides. �If looks could kill�� he thought.

�You wanted to talk to me?� Harry
said sweetly.

�What are you playing at, Potter?� Draco growled.

�What do you mean?� Harry asked,
�Why do you look so angry?�

�What�s the deal with Finnegan?�
he accused, �Is he your boyfriend or just a plaything?�

�That�s really none of your
business,� Harry said, crossing his arms over his chest.

Draco stalked across the room to
stand in front of Harry. �The hell it�s not. Answer the question.�

�I really don�t feel like it,� he
retorted, �It�s none of your business who I am or am not with.�

�Maybe I want to make it my business,� Draco said, taking
a step closer to Harry.

He sighed. �I don�t have
playthings, thank you very much. I�m not like that.�

�So he�s your boyfriend, then,�
Draco said and his eyes flashed something that made Harry�s heart clench- hurt,
�I should have figured as much�� He turned to leave, but Harry caught his
wrist.

�No� he�s not my boyfriend,� Harry said soothingly, �We�re just friends�
that�s all.�

Draco wrenched out of his grasp.
�Yeah, right. You�ve been acting awfully cozy this week. And what about that
kiss?�

�It was-nothing. It meant
nothing,� he said.

�Now, you�re lying to me!� Draco
exclaimed.

�No! I swear� we�re just friends.
Why do you care so much anyway?� he asked.

�I don�t care,� Draco replied,
blushing, �I just don�t like being lied to. So, are you going to tell me the
truth?�

Harry sighed, completely unable to
resist Draco in such an open, vulnerable state. �Seamus and I pretended to
flirt and the kiss- was staged, as well.�

�Why would you do that?� Draco
asked.

Harry blushed brilliantly. �To
make you jealous��

In a single heartbeat, Draco lips
were on his, his tongue thrust forth to plunder the moist cavern of Harry�s
mouth. He pushed him against the wall, wrapping one arm securely around his
waist and bringing his free hand up to cup his cheek. Draco was overcome with
intense happiness. Harry had wanted to make him jealous� so he must have some feelings for him. He felt Harry�s
hands grip his upper-arms tightly and heard him moan softly and he deepened the
kiss.

Harry felt his knees grow weak, so
he tightened his grip on Draco�s arms. He felt a hand
slip to the back of his neck, tugging his head back to give Draco better
access. He was utterly lost in sensation when he felt Draco�s
cool hand resting on his throat gently, reminding his too vividly of the jagged
metal blade that had been pressed into his skin before�

He let go of Draco as though he�d
been burned and pushed him away, sinking to the floor. He was breathing
heavily, tears falling down his cheeks gracefully. Draco kneeled in front of
him, concern showing clearly in his eyes.

�Are you okay? Did I hurt you?� he
asked, �What�s wrong?�

�I�m sorry�� Harry said, running a
hand through his hair, �I can�t tell you��

�Why not?�
Draco said.

�I don�t want you to hate me
again,� he replied softly.

�I could never hate you�� Draco
said smiling warmly, �But you don�t have to tell me anything.� He sat next to
him and pulled the green-eyed boy into his arms. He thought about the small
leather-bound book hidden away in his room, and then shook the thoughts away.
Harry would tell him in his own time.

They simply sat like that for
several moments before Draco broke the companionable silence. �Harry?�

�Yeah?�
Harry said, his reply muffled by Draco�s shoulder,
where his face was pressed.

�I have something that belongs to
you. Come with me,� Draco said, standing and pulling Harry up with him.

�Where are we going?� Harry asked
as Draco dragged him down several flights of stairs.

�The Slytherin dorms. I�ve kept it hidden for the last
few days,� Draco said, coming to a stop in front of a portrait of a very large
black and green snake, �Wait here, I�ll go get it. If you hear anybody coming,
just go around that corner and hide behind the statue of Slytherin.
I�ll be right back.�

Harry nodded and Draco disappeared
into the portal, closing the portrait with a sound thud.

�Bloody kinds� always slamming me about. Gives me such a headache!�

Harry looked up at the snake,
realizing that it was she who had
spoken. �Excuse me?� he said in Parseltongue.

�You speak our language? How delightful! My name is Artemis� named so
by the Founders themselves,� she said, �Who
are you? Not one of mine.�

�No, I�m Harry, from Gryffindor,� he replied.

�From Gryffindor, eh? I haven�t seen one of you down here in
nearly a century,� she said, �Well, good for you. I�ve always believed in inter-house relations.
I�ve never been able to voice my opinions before, though.�

�I�m glad to be of service, milady,� he said, bowing dramatically.

She chuckled. �So� is it a romantic relationship you�ve got with that handsome blonde
boy?�

He blushed. �Wel� see, the
thing is��

�Oh, it is! I knew it!� she
exclaimed happily, �I could tell the
moment you two arrived. I could practically taste it in the air!�

�It�s not official- yet�� Harry said, grinning.

The portrait swung open and Draco
stepped out. He made to slam it shut, but Harry caught it quickly and shut it
gently. Draco raised an eyebrow at him.

�What was that all about?� he
asked.

�She hates it when you all slam
the door like that,� Harry replied.

�She? She who?� Draco said, �The snake? I always thought it was a
boy. Well, I�m sorry if I bugged her. I�ll tell the others not to shut the
portal so hard from now on.�

Artemis hissed. �Tell him that I thank him with all my
heart.�

�She says thanks,� Harry said,
chuckling, �Now, what do you have for me?�

�Not here. Back upstairs,� Draco
said, dragging him away.

�Come back soon, Harry!� Artemis called.

�I will! Bye!�

When the door to the classroom
shut, Draco pulled the small book out of his robes and held it out to Harry. He
stared at it, horrified. Draco had found it? What if he�d read it? Oh God� he
hoped he hadn�t! He snatched the journal away from Draco as though it would
disappear any second. He clutched it to his chest and closed his eyes, thinking
the worst. Draco had read it and now the only reason he was being so nice is
that he feels sorry for him� that was something that Harry had always hated; pity.
He cracked one eye at Draco and saw that the blonde looked more confused than
anything.

�I didn�t read it, if that�s what
you�re thinking,� Draco said, sounding hurt, �I don�t just sort through
people�s personal lives, especially not people I care about. If it�s anything
important, I trust them to tell me when they�re ready.�

Harry couldn�t stand it any
longer. He screamed, throwing the book across the room, narrowly missing Draco�s head, and covered his ears. �Stop it! Stop being so nice to me!�

Draco winced at the desperation in
his voice, stepping toward him. �I can�t help it. I really like you, Harry��

�Don�t! How can you know that?
We�re practically strangers� you�re supposed to hate me! How can I protect you
if you don�t hate me?� he exclaimed.

�You�re not making any sense��
Draco said, placing a hand on his shoulder.

Harry backed away. �I never should
have started this. I�m sorry� Just forget about me, okay? Let�s just go back to
the way things were.�

�I can�t. Things can never go back
to how they used to be,� Draco said, pulling Harry into his arms, ignoring his
protests, �I like you- I care about you, and I know you like me, so we�re going
to be a couple and shock the hell out of this school.�

�No� Draco you don�t understand! I
can�t do this!� Harry said,
desperately trying to get Draco to relinquish his hold on him. However, being
the smaller of the two, he was unsuccessful.

�Maybe I could try to understand
if you would just talk to me,� Draco said gently.

Tears were falling steadily down
Harry�s cheeks and he sobbed quietly. �Everybody I love� everybody I care
about� they all die��

�Harry that�s not true,� Draco
consoled.

�It is! Anybody I get close to
becomes an instant target to Voldemort!� Harry
exclaimed, �My parents died� Ginny nearly died� Cedric, Sirius, Dumbledore�
they all left me��

�I won�t leave you,� Draco said,
his voice full of conviction that Harry wished he could believe.

�You can�t promise something like
that,� Harry said, �Voldemort already doesn�t trust
you. If word of this got out��

Draco ran his hands up and down
the length of Harry�s arms. �Then we won�t let it get out.�

Harry turned in his embrace. �How
can you be so confident? How can you say those things when you know you have no
control!?�

Draco smiled. �I have all the control
I need.�

�I have no control,� Harry said,
resting his forehead against Draco�s shoulder,
completely exhausted, �My entire life was written in stone before I was ever
even born��

Draco ran his fingers through his
hair. �You�re exaggerating. Fate has a lot to do with it, but you control your
own life. You make your own decisions.�

�That�s just it! I don�t!
Everybody is always making decisions for me� the only decisions I ever made-
ended up killing people or getting my friends hurt,� Harry said, wrapping his
arms around Draco�s waist.

Draco shook his head. �Eventually,
I�m going to fix that little misconception in your head. However, for now I�ll
just settle with being with you.�

Harry sighed. �If I agree to this,
you have to promise me one thing.�

�What?� Draco asked.

�If we�re ever in a situation
where we�re in danger or could be put in danger, you�ll let me handle it and
get the hell out of there when I tell you to,� Harry said, looking into his
stormy eyes.

Draco almost protested, but when
he saw the desperate determination in those brilliant emerald eyes, his resolve
melted. �Alright, I promise.� �But I
don�t think that I�ll be able to keep that promise��

�We can tell a few people about
our- relationship- but I don�t want to make it public until I�m sure that I�ll
be able to kill Voldemort once and for all,� he said.

�That�s fine with me,� Draco said,
�Although I was really looking forward to everybody�s reaction� and having the
entire student body become insanely jealous.�

�Why would they all be jealous?�
Harry asked.

Draco smiled. �You are so
innocent- so na�ve� no wonder every witch and wizard who comes into contact
with you loves you!�

Harry raised a questioning eyebrow
at him, clearly waiting for him to elaborate.

�You obviously haven�t noticed, but
we are the two best looking guys at Hogwarts currently,� Draco said, �And I�m
not being arrogant, so don�t give me that face. I�m just stating a fact.�

Harry smiled slightly, but it was
just a glimmer of amusement and it was gone as soon as it appeared.

�What�s wrong?� Draco asked.

�I�ve got a lot of baggage,� he
said sadly, resting his forehead on Draco�s shoulder
again to avoid looking into his eyes, �Sorry� are you sure you want this?�

Draco lifted his chin with a
single finger and captured his lips in a soft kiss. �Of course I�m sure. I would like to be prepared for any more
breakdowns, though.�

�If you- if you really want to,
you can read my journal,� he said, �If it means that much to you.�

�No� I want to learn about you
from you,� Draco said, �Not some book. Tell me when you�re ready. I can wait.�

Harry smiled. �Thank you.�

�No problem��

Draco sat down against the wall,
pulling Harry into his lap and they stayed like that for a while before Draco
cleared his throat. �I�ve just decided that I have a few conditions of my own,�
he said, �The first being that you eat.�

�I think I can handle that,� Harry
said dismissively.

�The second is that you minimize
the drinking,� Draco said, �It�s not healthy and I do
not want you to become an alcoholic.�

�Okay�� Harry said, a little more
reluctantly.

�And the third condition,� Draco
said, making Harry face him, �No more cutting��

He sighed. �I can�t do that,
Draco.�

�What?� Draco exclaimed, �Harry,
just stop, please.�

�I�m sorry, but I can�t,� he said,
�I- I just can�t. I promise I�m not suicidal, but I� I need it, Draco.�

�Why?� Draco demanded.

�It�s- it�s a release�� he said.

�From what?�
Draco asked.

�The memories�� Harry whispered,
turning his face away, �I can�t tell you right now. I will tell you, but not now.�

�Then� can you at least not do it
as much?� Draco asked.

Harry nodded. �I don�t think I�ll
need to as much now that I have you��

Draco sighed, realizing that that
was the best he could hope for. �Thank you for telling the truth. It just
worries me, that�s all.�

�Don�t worry about me� I know what
I�m doing,� Harry said, �I�ve been doing it for a while.�

Draco grasped his wrist gently and
pulled back the sleeve. �I can tell,� he said solemnly.

�I- can wear a
glamour� if you want me to,� Harry said quietly.

�No! I would never ask you to do
that. They�re a part of you�� Draco said, kissing one of most recent marks. �Just as I hope to be��

Harry felt the tears spring into
his eyes before he could help it. He�d never been spoken to like that. Nobody-
not Ron, Ginny, or even Hermione- had ever treated him with such tenderness. He
felt� wanted� cherished� and he liked it.

�Are you okay, Harry?�
Draco asked, noticing the misty green eyes and afraid that he�d hurt him again.

�I�m fine. Just� why are you being
so nice to me?� Harry replied.

�I already told you,� Draco said.

�No, not just nice. I mean, why are you
being this nice to me?� Harry said,
�I don�t think even Ron and Hermione would be this- accepting- if they ever
found out.�

�I don�t know. Does it really matter?�
Draco said.

Harry sighed contentedly. �I guess
not.�

�We should probably spend some
time with our friends�� Draco said regretfully, �Maybe we can steal away some
time later tonight.�

Harry nodded, smiling. �Then I can
learn some of your dark secret.�

Draco only grinned and followed
Harry out of the room.

XXXhpdmXXX

Squeee!
Another chapter completed! Huzzah! Tiffy will be so
pleased! (Tiffy is one of my muses!) Until next time�
and I expect plenty of reviews! *flames will be used to roast the marshmallows
that feed my plot bunnies*
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Dying to Stay Alive