Empty souls

Chapter 4. Warnings.

(Twisted logic – Coldplay)

The next several days were like hell for Harry and Ginny. While the attacks continued and more victims were found, the couple no longer talk... not at all. After the discution that ensued in Harry’s room, the rest were sending Hedwig and Pig with notes for the people that they had invited to the party that day to not attend. Molly and Luna were worried because Harry and Ginny didn’t look at one another, even in the meals. Several times Luna tried to brought the subject with Ginny, but she always denied that they were angry to each other and that was all her imagination. Moly for her part, while she was worried for the both of them, she knew better than intrude in the fights as couple, so she let them be. The rest of the Weasley clan noticied too and ocasionally were asking Harry what the problem was, and the only answer he gave was: ‘no problem at all’. Not Harry, nor Ginny, wanted to say what had really happened. It was embarassing to just admit that their lives were torn apart.

Harry tried several times to talk to Ginny, but she simply avoid being alone with him at all cost. This action was devasting for Harry because he knew that now she hate him... and had every reason to. For Ginny was difficult, because she lived in the same roof, hiden from the attacks outside.

Almost two weeks has passed since their argument and it was may 31th. The wedding should be the next day, if it wasn’t for the fact that the thing outside far from quiet down, increased.

That noon Ginny was alone in her room. Luna just got out and Ginny was about to leave when Harry abruptly got inside, closing the door behind him and wordlessly casted a silencing and a locking charm to have privacy.

“¿What the hell do you think are doing?” came the coldly voice of Ginny, glaring at him through her eyes half closed.

“¿What do you think? You can’t escape forever.” Came Harry’s reply resolutely mad.

“¿Escaping?...¿From you? ¡ja! ¡Don’t make me laugh!”

“Then, ¿Why are you avoiding me? I had to corner you to talk to you.”

“Tell me, Harry, ¿What do you think it means?” She waited patiently for him to respond. When he didn’t, Ginny answered to it. “It means that I no longer want to know about you. Ican’t bare to be near you. It means that I hate you and don’t want to see you.”

“I know” said Harry after a long minute of silence. “I realized at the moment you punched me. And I can’t blame you, honestly” Ginny snorted sardonically. “What I want to know is ¿Why you didn’t say anything to anyone? They all, by now, could suspect something. You and I were haunted by everybody in the last two weeks.”

“Because I don’t want their pity. The thought of the pityness makes me sick. I don’t want apologetic faces or simpathies... I just wish to wake up from this nightmare.” Said Ginny with craked voice diverting her stare at her bed.

“I don’t know what to say.”

“Don’t” interrupted Ginny “Please, don’t say anything. I don’t want to hear whatever you have to say.”

“But I need to.”

“I said no. ¿It was not enough? You just need to do it more difficult. Hermione plagued your mind like a virus and...”

“Stop, Ginny.”

“No. I won’t stop. Not for the likes of you.”

Harry was beyond frustrated. Not only he was having problems to contend with Ginny and the idea of Hermione gone, but for the rest of the people that now live there with them. In two strides, Harry reached Ginny and grasped her by the upper arms not too tight to not hurt her, but enough for her to has a way to escape. She looked at him in the eyes visibly afraid. Then, Ginny tried to reach for her wand just to find it gone... and in Harry’s pocket.

“How did you...”

“You know very well how I did it” interrupted Harry. “Don’t make me force you, Ginny. You left my room that day, leaving our conversation at half.”

“There was nothing else to say... ¿Would you be so kind to release me? You’re hurting me.”

“You know that I’m not hurting you. Now you will hear me out, wheter you like it or not.” Harry forced her to sit in the bed and he gripped her by the waist to prevent her from escape. Ginny wanted to get out of his grasp to no avail, because she realized that Harry was stronger and she, after all, liked the touch of Harry’s hands. This brought her memories that inmediatly overwelmed her heart. She ignored this once Harry began to talk. “I love you, Ginny, I really love you, I’m honest with you. I want to marry you. My love for you doesn’t change at all.”

“¿How dare you to say that? ¿Are you trying to drive me crazy? ¿How would I like to marry you, if your love is not for me?”

“¿Didn’t you hear me? I love you, Ginny.”

“That’s not true.”

“If it isn’t, then ¿why did I asked you to marry me?”

“I don’t know... maybe because Hermione and Ron were already engaged?”

That really hurted Harry, but wasn’t the least he deserved, on the contrary. He knows better. Rapidly he thinked for a replay.

“You and I were a couple even before that, almost two years to be precisely.”

“Then, along the way you realized the big mistake of choosing me.”

“¿Would you please shut up?” said Harry forcefully. They were getting nowhere because the constant interruptions of Ginny and was starting to get impatient. She glared at him with indignation. At the same time, Harry was worried becasue Ginny said something that carried all the truth: along the way he did realized that his lovew was enterely for Hermione. “If you keep interrupting me, we’re not going to solve this.”

“¿What is there to solve?”

“Us.”

“There is no ‘us’ anymore.”

“Just because you don’t want to” Ginny looked at him quizzcaly. “That’s right, because I love you, Ginny and want to have a family with you. I’m still worried for Hermione, I already told you that she’s my friend since I started Hogwarts. And that does’n change anything.”

“You were waiting for her to come back to reject me, and marry her instead.” Ginny said shaking her head because she no longer believed in him. “That was why you agreed to suspend the wedding.”

“First of all, Ginny. The idea, i remind you, was yours. Secondly, I wasn’t waiting for Hermione’s return to leave you and, lastly, I agreed to suspend the wedding because you said and I quote : ‘It wasn’t the time.’”

“But you don’t love me” Fed up by the negative attitude of Ginny, Harry kissed her almost forcefully to shut her up... and it worked: she instantly remained quiet. At fist, Ginny tried to pushed Harry off, but she still loved him and the resistence leave off quickly. Slowly, her arms slide at either side of Harry’s neck and his arms sized her by the waist, holding her with his hands in her back up her shirt. Soon the thing turned hot and they were lying on the bed, Harry on top of Ginny. He left her mouth and trailed kisses to reach at her chin, the directed them to her neck and collarbone, while Ginny left out a grunt of pleasure. She then placed her hands on the hem of Harry’s shirt and pulled it off of him along his glasses and put her hands on Harry’s strong chest. He continued kissing her neck but stoped when he felt a small hand slither inside his pants and grasping his shaft, making him moan in anticipation. Ginny, scared that they could be heard, reach with her other hand (never releasing Harry’s flesh), for her wand and performed another silencing and locking charm, and throwning it to the air, while she stroked him slowly. His arouse was there the instant Ginny’s hand grasped it. Her soft touch was almost angelic, and couldn’t help but moaned in pleasure. Man as he was, the brain functions stoped and acted at what his hormones were screaming to him. Harry tore Ginny’s blouse and remove it from her body only to find that she didn’t ware a bra, leaving her breasts on the air and already erect. Inmediatly, Harry bent down his face and began to suck one breast while his other hand was in the other caressing around the nipple, teasing her, hearing Ginny’s moans increasing.

+++++

Two hours later, exhausted laid on the bed both naked caressing one another. Not a word was said. They conveid silently that again were a couple. Ginny felt happy... maybe Harry was right and was just confused by Hermionie’s desappereance. Their breathing were subsiding and her heart wasn’t hammering against her chest as was three minutes ago.

From his part, Harry, even when both lost their virginity with each other, even when he really was excited, he felt that it wasn’t right at all. Maybe he satisfied his urgency, his need... but didn’t feel right that it was with Ginny. He loved her once, but not anymore, not like he should be loving her, and just confirmed that it was a crush... nothing else.

By four o’clock, Ginny stood up, walked to her drawer to pull out a towel and without a word to Harry, made her way to her own bathroom. While she did that, Harry was looking at the ceiling with thoughtful eyes, thinking in the act of... ¿love? No, it wasn’t that. They shagged, but not implying making love... more like exploring the pleasure of two bodies interacting by hormones. Then akwardly got up from the bed and collected his clothes, putting them in him again, got out of the bedroom and silently locked himself in his own room, taking a long long shower. By six o’clock, the voice of Molly Weasley reverbereated from downstairs anouncing dinner. Fifteen minutes later, Harry came into the kitchen and saw almost everyone there, the dinner was served and the only chair unocuppied was the next to Ginny’s that, as soon as he arrived, sweetly patted the chair signaling Harry to sit down just there. Obviously she reserved that place specially for him, devoting him with a cute smile. Harry smiled too and took his place. Everyone looked suspiciously at them without a word until Molly saw him take his seat and inmediatly turned to him.

“¿Where were you, dear?... no matter. Eat, you didn’t have lunch and must be starving.”

“Yeah.” Was his only replay and tucked in the delicious food that Molly served him.

Again, the air turned dense by the oppresive silence, and Remus, That had been absent since last week, began a chat with Bill and the rest did the same. When they finished, Luna stood up, gripped Ginny’s wrist delicately indicating that a talk was about come. She agreed but not before give Harry a light kiss on the lips.

Angelina and Kate were helping Molly and Fleur with the cleaning of the kitchen while the rest traslated to the parlor, where Harry began to ask questions about the investigation of the lately attacks to profit the staying of Tonks. She was ok after the whole ordeal of the Bones’ issue. After a few days of the conforting arms of Remus that reassured her that she wasn’t alone, finaly got over it and continuedwith her work as an auror.

The attacks slowed down considerbly, but the danger was still there. The Order was working aside from the ministry to contain better results. Two days after, in the middle of the night, in Diagon Alley, was captured MacNair by three Order members and then called inmediatly for Kingsley, that got there before the rest of the ministry for the Order to desapparate, leaving Kingsley with a stunned MacNair when the rest of the aurors got into Diagon Alley.

They didn’t mind at all that the minister believed that the capture was all kingsley’s work if that means lesser the forces of the death-eaters. The ministry, while oblivious of the existence of the Order of the Phoenix, was looking forward to recruit Harry as auror, offering him repeatedly by owl, a view with the head of auror enforcement and the minister himself with no avail once he figured that they wanted him as a weapon to scare the rest of the death-eaters. This, of course, Harry believed, would not solve the problems. Voldemort or not, They’ll hunt down whoever take to crash tha magical comunity. The muggle minister, at this point wanted an interview with Harry too and Kingsley agreed that, at least, he should hear what he’s to say.

In the end, Harry agreed but with one condition: pay a visit to MacNair before the interview with the muggle minister.

“I don’t think is a good idea, Harry.” Expressed Kingsley, supported by not only Tonks but Remus and Bill as well, when they noded in agreement.

“I would like to ask the reason, Harry... but I guess that I already know.” Said Remus glancing Harry’s eyes suspicious, but his eyes were solved with determination and Remus frowned. “It would be dangerous. Think about it.”

“I know the risks, Remus. But it’s important.”

“We know Harry, but...” said Tonks stressed. “You know that before that, you’ll need to ask for a special permission_”

“They won’t deny me something like that” interrupted Harry.

“Maybe, but to get that permission means talk with the head of aurors first and that would bring the attention of minister Scrimgeour too. Everything leads to have an interview with both, which you refuse to do.”

Harry growled because he already had thought the same thing. He doesn’t wanted that, but if there wasn’t another way, then he’ll submit at the request. Whatever it takes to tlak with one of the death-eaters and interrogate them to have answers. All this time hiding from the conflict with no news of Hermione was devasting, and he wanted to do something.

“Mum would get mad” said George, pulling out Harry from his revieré.

“Yeah” argued Fred. “and I don’t like thinking to have an argument with her... or Ginny for that matter, because she would find out, would be something that you want to go through.”

“And then” replaced George, continuing. “you and Ginny will have a fight again. You know, I don’t think I can posibly handle another argument of both of you.” Finished with humor.

Harry glared at them, but Gred and Forge didn’t recoiled in their seats because they glared at him equally. They had had enough of Ginny being a smartarse, it was two awful weeks being harrased by her any given moment.

“Then I’ll take the risk.” Said Harry resolutely, looking directly to the eyes of Kingsley. “If Scrimgeour want an interview, then so be it.”

Everyone frowned. They saw it coming. Shaking his head, Knigsley said:

“Alright then, as you wish. Just don’t say that we didn’t support you. Tomorrow morning I’ll be with my boss to arrangeeverything for your visit.”

“Don’t let mum find out.” Added Bill, “She’ll knows about the visit to Scrimgeour, but not about MacNair.”

“Ginny will want to go with Harry” said Fred.

“No” argued Harry. “I want to go there alone well... not with Ginny, but with Kingsley or Tonks, that will be my only request.”

“Fine” said Kingsley defeated.

“I miss Dumbledore.” Added Remus vaguely.

“¿What do you mean?” asked Harry, puzzled by this comment.

“Normally, he would be the one to see things more clearly.”

“Dumbledore trusted in me” argued Harry. “and I know he would agree with me if he could be here. Seeing as he’s not, the I’ll do what is need. I miss him too, but we all know that now he’s in a better place.” Harry stood up and without a simple good night, climbed the stairs to his room, and locked himself again. When the clock on the wall chimed ten, someone called at his door and Harry, with rapidly motions, pulled out his wand and unlocked the door, which opened by non other than Renus. His brown eyes full of questions as he got inside, closing the door behind him with an unpertubable charm to prevent the evaesdroping of the twins with their infamous and improved extendable ears that now are wireless.

“I suspected that you would come” commented Harry, seated in his bed. His green eyes confused, not for Remus visit, but more for what he did in Ginny’s room. This of course made Remus crocked a eyebrow. Taking a chair from a corner and placing it in front of Harry, took his seat and glanced Harry features: his eyebrows knitted in bother.

“Harry... ¿Care to tell me what the twins mean with Ginny’s behavior? I know that you had an argument with her, but you never said a word to me. I know that it’s not my bussines but_”

“It’s ok, Remus” Harry sighed and proceed to relate about the argument, then the situation in Ginny’s Room. Remus didn’t say a word to interrupt Harry’s point of view, but he did get a worried look. Harry thought that there was no point in hide anything because Remus knew about his feelings for Hermione, and talking to him will free his mind, preventing it to crash any minute. Then the ever present silence that preceed to any acceptance of guilt. “I want to know what do you think.” Harry broke the silence that lasted ten long minutes.

Remus glanced at Harry’s eyes with somewhat paternal affection.

“I don’t know, Harry” Remus frowned, “Maybe is better if I don’t say a thing.”

“I really want to, Remus. It means too much to me.”

“Alright” sighed Remus, “First of all, I think you did wrong, because Ginny already knows the truth about your feelings towards Hermione. Having sex with her was not an option. The only thing you gained with that as well as her, is hurt yourselves, blinding or covering at the realm of the situation.”

“I’m going to marry her after all. ¿What’s the point?”

“The point, Harry, is that this will ensure a bad marriage. As the time pass, you’ll realize that nothing will work out, and remaind together will come unbearable for both, and get worse if you have children of your own. ¿What will they think if you don’t get along years later?”

“I can’t back off Remus.”

“Yes, you can. Save yourselves from the opinion of the rest of the world, that really doesn’t count. I know that you’re doing it for that... and doesn’t worth it.”

“But worth Ginny’s happiness, that worth it. I’ll supress my feelings if that means keep her honor.”

“¿¡How long, Harry!?, ¿How long will you be able to grab hold of your feelings, keeping them in the back of your heart?... not to mention that they’ll be present in the back of Ginny’s mind. Seem oblivious at the reality would do no good.”

“And you don’t think that I already thought the same thing as you?”

“And what will happen when Hermione came back?... that if she really get back.”

“She will.” Argued Harry with fierce.

“You ought to understand that once you marry Ginny, have Hermione around would get treaten by her return and want get away from her, taking you far away.”

Harry stood up and, once again glance outside from the window as if the answers of his problems would fall from the sky. Remus words carried a truth that he was refusing to belive unsuccesfully, because he knows better. Now their lives were not only in danger by constant attacks from death-eaters, but Hermione’s shadow too. He did make a big mistake. But even accepting it will not solve the problem. ‘¿What will I do now?’ thought Harry morosely, almost at the verge of yell in frustraition. With a hand trough his hair, pulling it by the ends like he was about to pull it out from his scalp said:

“I’ll take the risk”

“Don’t get mad, Harry.”

“I’m not mad.”

“Yes, you are. I’m worried for you, Harry, you asked for my personal opinion and gave you an advise. It’s all up to you.” With this, Remus stood up and walked to Harry was and patted him on the back. “Whatever you do, you will count on me.”

“I know” whispered Harry. “Thank you.”

“Any time” Remus looked at his wrist-watch. “I’ll go now. Tonks is waiting for me in the parlor.”

“You’re leaving?” Harry turned to face Remus.

“Yes. We have to patrol some places.”

“But you hardly came back here”

“Yeah, but the situation, even when it remains in stand by, needs to be accurately attend. There’s no rest for the wicked.” Smirked Remus and, lifting the charms on the door, got out from there, closing quietly behind him, leaving Harry pondering on everything they had said.

Half and hour later, Ginny knocked op the door of Harry’s room and he got up from the bed to open it.

“Can I...”

“Sure.” Harry fully opened the door for Ginny and she came in shyly. Then promptly put the needed charms to ensure privacy. Harry and Ginny seated on the bed together touching their sides. Ginny looked at the carpet intently to not look at Harry’s green eyes, which were directed at her and said:

“I want to know what htis means, Harry.” She made a pause to regain courage and then blurted out: “we are still together, ¿aren’t we? Under the status as engaged or...”

“Or?”

“Or simply as lovers?” Harry winced at that because this wasn’t expecting it. “I need to know if you and I are going to get married, wheter Hermione get back or not.”

“I already told you that.” Replied Harry more trying to convince himself than Ginny. She dared to see Harry directly to his eyes to see total conviction, what she didn’t see was love. Ginny bit her lower lip in thought and Harry leaned down to kiss her lightly. She stoped biting her lip to join in the kiss, while it was sweet, she kissed back unsure. Harry broke the kiss only to see Ginny blink back the tears that were treatening to leak out any second.

“¿Do you love me?”

“I do.”

Ginny smiled almost convinced by his response... and Harry hugged her tightly.

Next morning, things got back to normal in Grimmauld place. From time to time, Luna furtively glance in Harry’s direction to see sometimes a shadow passing through his eyes, but did not comment. The attacks lessened and Kingsley announce that the following week Harry would be able to go see the minister Scrimgeour.

When the day came, against Ginny wishes, Harry parted to the ministry with only Kingsley and Tonks as company. Molly was troubled by this but agreed. Bill, Fleur, the twins, Neville, Luna, Angelina and Kate just shrugged. There was no point in argue. They already did it and lost.

As Harry walked through the cubicles, all the eyes were turned to see him pass. Harry did not pay them any mind.

Arriving at the office, Harry saw scrimgeour behind his desk full of parchments, books and quills. Behind him was a vast bookstand and in a corner, copies of the Daily Prophet piled. At Scrimgeour’s side was the head of aurors enforcement, looking at the people that just crossed the treshold of the office. Tonks closed the door behind her and wordlessly locked it.

“I see that you honored us with your presence... at last.”

“Good morning to you too.” Replied Harry sacastically. He was trying to remain calm and respect his education infront of them whatever the minister say.

“You’re on guard I see” at this Harry just shrugged his shoulders. “Well, there’s no point to be, ¿Is there?”

“You wanted to see me.”

“Straight to the point” Scrimgeour replied crocking an eyebrow analizing Harry’s face. “As you may know, I talked to Kingsley about your wish to become an auror... ¿That’s still your whim?”

“Yes.” Harry said after a long pause.

“Very well. Then, I can do an... how should I say?... an arragement for you to do it in half the time it really takes to.” At seeing that Harry was impassively, he added, “That is of course you agree.”

“¿Under what kind of conditions?”

“There is non.”

“I hardly believe it.”

Srimgeour grimmaced. Harry’s face was unreadable to say teh least because he refuses to show them any feeling that were plaging him at the moment.

“Think of it, Harry.” There it was: using his name to gain his confidence and to get close to minister’s wishes. Harry remained impassive. “You defeated you-know-who, what else you need to become an auror. Your skills are good enough to pass for more than three years of education.”

“Defeat Voldemort was then a task to become an auror?”

At the mention of Voldemort’s name, the head of aurors shruddered while Scrimgeour supressed to do the same. The inner satisfaction of Harry wasn’t visible, but was there all the same.

“I wouln’t used that statement, but yes.”

“I do want to be an auror, minister, but I want to do it as everyone else has to.”

“You have privileges.”

“¿Like what?”

“We’ll take your fight against you-know-who like a test resolved. Clearly you owned the right to become an auror... this has you located at the half of the schooling.”

“¿Do I have privileges, you said...”

“That’s right.”

“And owned my place in the institute...”

“That’s also right.”

“Then, ¿What about my friends?” seeing that the minister did not get it, Harry was more especific, “My friends, few of them wanted to be aurors too. They fought by my side... ¿Will they have that privileges too?”

“I’m afraid not.”

“Then, I’ll do my schooling like the rest. Is that all that you wanted to say to me?”

“Harry, you aren’t being reasonable. I’m offering you the chance.”

“I don’t want that. I’m not a puppet. I’ll do what I have to do, but not under any conditions. I’ll remain this way because I have dignity.” This last was a word that stressed Scrimgeour, Harry saw, because inmediatly as the word left his mouth, the minister tensed not only his back but his face too.

“Are you implying_”

“I’m not implying anything. I’m honest. And now that you mention about privileges, I must say that I have a request, if you agree, that is.”

Suspiciously, Scrimgeour devoted Harry with a glare.

“¿What kind of request?”

“I want an interview with MacNair.” Here the minister let out a loud guffaw almost with mirth at the solely idea.

“That’s not possible.”

“¿Why not?”

“Because you aren’t an auror, that’s why.”

“¡Ah!... You know that that is not an argument”

“Maybe... maybe not. If you take my offer I can as easely gave it to you.”

“It’ll be worse for you, because if you don’t agree, I’ll make sure to let know to all magical comunity of your incompetence. I’m confident that the magazines both here or other countries will spread the news of how the minister of magic from Great Britain are blackmailing the hero that defeated Voldemort, to take a chance as an auror with facilities and privileges that are avoid of any ethics.” Now the minister was furious and didn’t hide it. His whole face contorted in anger.

“Your threats don’t scare me, Potter.”

“It’s not a threat, but more like a warning. Take it or leave it. It’s up to you.”