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Love Is No Big Truth	By : honeybee Category: Harry Potter > Het - Male/Female > Snape/Hermione Views: 10389 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 3
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4. One is The Loneliest Number
Severus
crouched in his garden, observing a small, withered plant. It grew without any
special care in England, but the dry, rocky soil in his region of Greece didn�t
seem to work on the herb. Sighing, he closed his eyes and touched the soil next
to the plant�s roots. He felt the familiar rush of calmness and opened his eyes
to inspect his work. The withered leaves had straightened and even as he
watched, small buds opened into white flowers, peppered with red dots. He
poured more water into the soil and straightened, satisfied.
Throwing
one last look at the herb, he muttered to himself.
�It should
have mature fruit by tomorrow. Maybe I pushed too much; I should get up early
in case they shrivel.�
A quiet,
melodious laugh sounded behind his back.
�I see you
have not lost your touch, my dear.�
He swirled
around quickly, pointing his wand at the intruder. A small, white-haired woman
with ageless features stood before him, green eyes shining. He quickly relaxed
and approached her.
�Vesna! I
have not seen you in a decade! I thought you don�t leave your grove anymore.�
The woman
smiled radiantly and took his hands.
�It is true;
I rarely leave my home. I wanted to talk to you, Severus. I felt a disturbance
several months ago, I felt your life was slipping away
from you.�
Severus�
features stilled and he exhaled loudly.
�Yes,
Vesna, I came very close to dying.�
The woman
nodded solemnly.
�I also
felt something else, a new Wielder. I felt it on the exact same spot where your
life force was leaking. Do you know anything about it?�
Severus
raked his fingers through his hair and nodded.
�Yes, I
know her. She did it unconsciously in order to heal me. She reached through the
soil to power her magic. Some was left over and a flower grew on that exact
spot. That is how I knew she could Wield.�
�She
doesn�t know? I haven�t felt her since then.�
�I was not
certain until you confirmed it just now. Is that what you do all day? Sit under
your tree and listen to the fluctuations in the force?�
Vesna
smiled serenely.
�Yes, I do indeed.
I feel good in my grove, Severus and there are few people I want to see. But
you, you are too young to close yourself away from the world.�
�The world
does not care much for me, neither I for it,� grumbled Severus. �I hate to bear
those sycophants whispering behind my back. Nobody is going to forget what I
did as a Death Eater, Vesna.�
Vesna
reached up and smoothed his furrowed brow with her small hand.
�You did
things; it is true. But your soul has remained unblemished,
if you can still Wield, Severus. Nobody can take that away from you. Go, find
this girl, and teach her our ways. She is very powerful and she should not be
left untrained.�
He threw
her a dark look.
�You
remember what happened the last time I taught Wielding to someone.�
�It is not
the same. He is dead. Have you considered that without your instruction, he
would never have been defeated in the first place?�
�I know
Vesna, but it didn�t save her life.�
�You cannot
save everyone, Severus. Sad as it is, it was her time to go. I miss her too.
But you need to let go and forgive yourself. Please, think about it. If you
need me, only call out and I will come to you.�
The woman
kissed his forehead and took a step back. A slight shimmer and she was gone.
Severus
sighed and his shoulders sagged. Slowly, he walked into the cottage and
retrieved a small photo album. He sat in the shade of a large fig tree and
looked through the album for a long time. Finally, he closed it and let it drop
to the ground, remembering the past and fearing the future.
***
Hermione
awoke reluctantly, squinting at the bright light flowing in through the window.
Her eyes felt gritty and swollen from all the crying. As the events from the
previous days overwhelmed her, she briefly considered staying in bed. The world
didn�t seem as particularly a friendly place to Hermione Granger, but finally
she stirred and sat upright. The movement made her dizzy; had she eaten
yesterday? Had she eaten at all since returning from Brisbane? She couldn�t
quite remember, but it didn�t seem to matter. Slowly, as if her whole body was
in pain, she stood up. A nagging noise coming from the window grated on her
nerves. She supposed it was an owl, but she didn�t really want to read any
letters. She didn�t want to think,
thinking hurt too much. She entered the bathroom, turned on the hot tap, and
started to remove her clothes. When she walked under the shower, the water was
already scalding hot and she could barely see across the thick fog. She caught
a glimpse of herself in the mirror�she looked like a ghost in the foggy glass. That�s what I am, a ghost, she thought.
The water burned her skin, but it helped against the cold welling up inside
her. She felt that if she gave in to the inner turmoil that wracked her brain,
she would dissipate amongst the thick clouds of vapour.
Hermione
washed her body and hair with stiff movements, like an automaton. She dried off
and dressed in the same fashion, still ignoring the insistent tapping on the
window. Going downstairs, she put on the kettle and made tea. She sat at the
table and poured herself a cup, without bothering with sugar and milk.
Something inside her struggled wildly to come out, to scream, but she felt she
couldn�t even cry anymore.
She could
not clearly remember for how long she sat on the table, when she was alerted by
the click of the front door. A male voice called out hesitantly, �Hermione?�
That accent...she furrowed her brow and a moment later her eyes widened in
recognition, just as the man walked into the kitchen. She stood up and stared
at him.
�Viktor?
Is that you?�
***
He looked
different from the last time she saw him at Fleur and Bill�s wedding. Dressed
in a dusty travelling cloak, with stubbles on his chin, he looked older and more
worn-out. His smile hadn�t changed though, the rare smile reserved for his
friends, which transformed his usual sullen countenance. He crossed over to the
table in two long strides and gave her a brief, tight hug, before releasing
her. She returned the smile and asked, feeling a little confused.
�I am glad
to see you, but what are you doing in England?�
�I am on official visit with our Minister. I
met Harry at the Ministry and he gave me the address and the wards. I sent you
an owl, you did not answer, and so I came to visit.�
Hermione
suddenly remembered the persistent tapping on the window. Feeling guilty, she
mumbled something about sleeping in late and offered Viktor some tea. Reaching
out for the teapot, she found it was cold. She frowned; how long had she been
sitting there? She made a fresh pot, all the time feeling Viktor�s eyes boring
into her back. He didn�t say a word, but she could feel his unwavering gaze and
it made her uncomfortable. When she set the teapot and cups on the table, she
heard a sharp intake of breath. Viktor was staring at her hands with murder in
his eyes. When she looked closely, she noticed that her skin was red and puffy.
He reached across the table and took them carefully in his own. She winced,
feeling the effect of her morning shower.
�Hermione,
has someone hurt you? What has happened? Harry said you were ill yesterday;
today you didn�t answer my owl. Please, tell me! Are we not still friends?�
Hermione�s
eyes welled at his fierce concern.
�No, Viktor
please calm down. I had a lot on my mind this morning and I ran the shower too
hot. It�s not only my hands.�
She lifted
her sleeve to confirm her words. He gasped at the sight of the damaged skin and
muttered something in Bulgarian under his breath. He picked up his wand,
touched it to her hand, and said, �Hladno.�
A wonderful coolness spread across her skin. When she looked at her hand, it
was white and her skin didn�t hurt anymore. Viktor sheathed his wand, content.
�It will
spread over your whole body in several minutes. My mother used it on me when I
had sunburn�it heals the skin and calms the nerves.�
Hermione
shot him a grateful look and busied herself with pouring tea. She felt dizzy,
her mind was still struggling to shake the numbness from that morning; too much
had happened during the last few days. Viktor�s visit was unexpected, they
weren�t very close anymore, but she still had warm feelings for the surly
Bulgarian. Not romance though, and it seemed he didn�t feel anything of that
sort either. The only emotions on his face were those of a concerned friend. And I could use a concerned friend right
about now...
�Hermione?
Please tell me what is wrong. It is not only the burns, you don�t look like
yourself.�
She looked
at him with a frown.
�What do
you mean?�
Viktor
sighed and proffered his hand.
�Come.�
He
carefully led her to the full-size mirror in the hallway. When Hermione
actually looked at herself, she gasped in horror. Her skin was deathly pale and
she had dark circles under her eyes. Even after Viktor�s cooling charm, there
were red blotches on her skin. Her clothes hung on her frame; her shirt was
inside out. What frightened her the most was the emptiness of the eyes that met
her in the mirror. She turned away.
Viktor
gently grasped her hand and led her back to the couch.
�What has
happened to my Hermione? This is no illness, something
is eating at you from the inside.�
She looked
sharply into his eyes. Had he been reading her mind?
�I have
been there, Hermione. I have seen this look on people around me. I know you
went through a lot last year, but the battle was months
ago.�
He hit so
close to home that Hermione had to avert her eyes from his to hide the tears
that threatened to spill. Yet a part of her rejoiced, I can still cry...I am alive!
Viktor
quietly spoke again.
�That is it
then? It haunts you still?�
And then
the dam broke free and the tears spilled. Through hiccoughs and sobs, she
managed to recount the whole story�the battle, her nightmares, the
correspondence with Snape, and her gleam of hope. Then, she continued with the
deaths of her parents, her distance from her friends, and Harry and Ginny�s
engagement. When she finally stopped speaking, she conjured a handkerchief to
wipe her nose and eyes and looked at Viktor.
�I don�t
even know why I�m telling you all this. I couldn�t tell anyone up until now.�
He seemed angry.
�You went
through this by yourself?�
She nodded.
�Professor Snape knows about my nightmares. He told me to speak to somebody but
I couldn�t. And now my parents...�
�You live
with Ron and Harry. They claim to be your friends. How could they not notice?
Forgive me, but you are a mess! I know we have grown apart, Hermione, but I
care a great deal about you! You are one of the nicest people I know and I hate
to see you like this. �
�You caught
me off guard, Viktor. I always hold myself up when I am with them. I usually
wear robes and they hide how thin I�ve become. Merlin, even I hadn�t noticed.
Besides, things were never as bad as this morning.�
Viktor�s
look was murderous; he was clutching his wand and cursing in Bulgarian.
�Do not
blame them. They had their own demons to conquer. They�ve always thought of me as
the strong one and I didn�t give them any reason to think otherwise.�
�They
should have seen it. I saw it and I am not as close to you as they are.�
�Maybe
that�s why you saw it; they see me every day, and it is harder to notice a
change. Besides, we all have our odd moments since the battle. Harry sometimes
locks himself in Sirius� old room and when he comes out, I can see he has been
crying. He keeps his old photo albums there, photos of his parents, Sirius, and
Remus. Ron used to get this haunted look every time he set eyes on Fred.�
Viktor
stood up and started to pace around the room in agitation.
�Yes, but
they do not look like starved wraiths! Do not give me that look, you saw
yourself in the mirror. From what you have told me, they both have something to
hold on to. Harry has his girl...Ginevra? Ronald has his family. What do you
have Hermione? They are your friends, yet you keep away from them.�
�I just
feel like I don�t belong with them anymore. As if they�re one big, happy family
and I�m a distant relative who has not been invited to the party.�
Viktor
pursed his lips and asked, �Hermione, have you considered studying abroad?�
All colour
drained from Hermione�s face. Her lips trembled and she swayed precariously.
�I forgot!
How could I forget? Bloody Merlin, I am so messed up!� she roared and threw her
cup across the room. Viktor grabbed her hand.
�Hermione,
what is the matter? Did I upset you?�
�No, it�s
my application letters. I was supposed to send them a month ago; they probably
filled all the available positions already.�
�What are
you planning to study?�
�Potions.�
�Problem
solved. Come with me to Bulgaria.�
Hermione
looked at him in disbelief.
�As of this
year, there is a Master Program in Potions in our university. Master Borisov
left Durmstrang and returned home. I am sure he would take you. If you are away
from England and all the people and places associated with the war, you could
gain a new perspective and maybe your bad memories would
stop haunting you.�
Hermione
stared at her friend in awe.
�When did
you grow up so much?�
He gave her
a wry smile.
�Since the
Triwizard Tournament, Hermione�as we all did.�
Hermione
buried her head in her hands and groaned.
�I must
have fallen through the Looking Glass. My mind is messed up, my parents are
dead, my friends are drifting away, and here you come, my knight in shining
armour, sprouting wise words and offering to take me away from all this.� She started giggling, while tears
welled up in her eyes. Viktor drew himself up, throwing her an uneasy look,
which made her giggle even more. He could be all grown up and smart, but he was
just as uncomfortable around a hysterical female as Ron and Harry were. After a while, she managed to compose
herself and wiped her eyes.
�I don�t
know Viktor. I have to think about it. I...I have to gather my wits, I haven�t
been feeling like myself for so long�
A whoosh
from the fireplace disturbed the pensive silence and Harry�s head appeared in
the flames.
�Mione, are
you there?�
Hermione
walked over and crouched in front of the fire.
�I�m here,
Harry, what is it?�
He gasped
and she suddenly remembered her appearance.
�That�s it.
Move, I�m coming through!�
He stumbled
from the fireplace in a whirlwind of Auror robes and soot, quickly grasping her
shoulders and staring into her eyes. His face crumbled and he whispered, �Mione,
what in the blazes has happened to you? I met Master Stevenson from Oxford
today and asked him about your application. He said he never received one. You
said you were ill yesterday and now you look as if a Hippogriff stampeded all
over you. Please, speak to me!�
Moved by
the intense look in his green eyes, Hermione sniffled and looked away.
�You should
have done that some time ago, Harry.�
Harry
turned around and saw Viktor glaring at him from the table. He narrowed his
eyes and gritted through his teeth, �Did you do something to her, Krum? If you
did, I swear��
�If you do
not trust me, why did you give me access to the house? All I did was talk to
her. When was the last time you bothered to do that?� Viktor stood up and
picked up his cloak.
�I will
leave you alone now, you have much to talk about� he said to Hermione. �Owl me at the Leaky Cauldron if you want to see me, and think about
what I said.� He planted a chaste kiss on her forehead and walked out.
Hermione
sighed and looked into Harry�s questioning eyes.
�I think
you�d better sit down. And please, Floo Ron and Ginny and ask them to come
over. I don�t want to go through this again with them.�
***
After
Hermione finished her tale, there were tears in everyone�s eyes. At some point,
Ginny had walked over to her friend and was still holding her hand as she
finished speaking. She bowed her head and almost sobbed.
�Hermione,
I am so sorry. I knew about the nightmare you had in the Burrow, but I never
thought to ask about it later.�
Harry
interrupted, �It�s not only your fault. We were all a bunch of insensitive
gits.� Turning to Hermione, he asked, his voice cracking, �Mione, did we really
make you feel unwanted?�
Hermione
smiled weakly.
�It wasn�t
really your fault. In the beginning, I didn�t want to bother you as I thought
it was something temporary. Later, I was so messed up from lack of sleep and
guilt that I probably started imagining things. Right now, I can�t believe how
foolish I have been and how far I let it proceed. It�s a good thing Viktor came
along.�
Ron frowned
at that.
�Mione, how
come you never spoke to us, yet you spoke to someone you haven�t seen in
years?�
�Well, he
saw me looking like death warmed over and asked what was wrong. I opened my
mouth and it all came out. I don�t really know what exactly happened.�
Ron
continued, still distraught.
�Why didn�t
you tell us about your parents yesterday? Did you really think we wouldn�t
care?�
Ginny
glared at her brother.
�She was in
shock, Ron. And we didn�t exactly let her speak before I flashed my ring at
her. What was she supposed to say, �Congratulations, by the way, my parents are
dead?� She felt left out, Harry has become a part of our family and she had
just lost hers.�
Hermione
smiled gratefully at Ginny for her insight.
�That�s
just about right. I�m sorry about keeping it from you, but my mind was a mess. Merlin,
I�m still coming out of this whole thing. I feel so much better now that you
know. Maybe those blasted nightmares will stop now, just as Professor Snape
supposed.�
Harry
looked at her with some curiosity.
�How did
you get the idea to write to him of all people?�
�I�m not
quite sure; maybe it was because he was so nice to me when we spoke in the
infirmary. And I thought he was familiar with the consequences from�traumatic
experiences. He gave me sound advice, so it was a good decision. He said
something about being familiar with these sorts of feelings,
it�s called �survivor�s guilt�.�
Harry
reached across the table and grasped her free hand, the other still in Ginny�s
firm grasp.
�Hermione,
I think everyone who survived the battle has felt this at some point. I know I
have. I keep asking myself whether I was fast enough, did I make all the right
decisions, and could I have saved any of them. Finally, I decided that I did my
best and what�s done is done. You did everything in your power, and after all,
you did save Professor Snape. Almost at the cost of your own life, if I might
add.�
Hermione
blanched. That thought had never actually crossed her mind and a warm feeling
rose up inside her. As she quickly recounted his letter, she noticed that he
had hinted subtly at the fact, maybe with the idea to remind her that she had,
after all, saved at least him. A
tentative smile crawled across her face. Her friends were watching her intently
and mimicked her smile, sharing a look of relief.
***
The day had
been emotionally draining for Hermione and her eyes started drooping as soon as
she really felt the burden of her secrets lifted from her chest. Ginny noticed
her friend�s fatigue and quickly suggested an afternoon nap. Hermione�s eyes
grew wary at the notion of sleep, but Ginny hurried to explain.
�You said
that Professor Snape advised you to sleep with another person in the room. I
will take a book to read and I will stay with you all the time.� Hermione still
looked dubious and Ginny huffed impatiently, �You have to sleep at some point
and we might as well try to see if this works.�
Hermione
conceded and both girls headed upstairs, while Harry and Ron Flooed back to the
Ministry. Hermione crawled into her bed and her eyes closed instantly. Ginny
transfigured a shabby chair into a comfortable armchair and curled up with her
book. She kept glancing at her sleeping friend, but Hermione showed no signs of
discomfort. After three hours, she finally stirred and looked up at Ginny with
eyes full of wonder.
�Do you
realise,� she rasped, �that this is the first time I woke up normally in a long
time?�
Ginny
smiled at her and closed her book.
�It seems
that the good professor was right. Now, let�s grab some dinner, it�s seven o�clock already and I�m starving.�
Hermione
found that her stomach was also making loud demands and the girls went to the
kitchen to get some food. While they ate, two consecutive cracks sounded
outside the front door and in a moment Harry and Ron joined them. Ron flopped
down in an armchair and announced to the world:
�Apparition
still makes me queasy, but Floo twice a day is more than enough.� He glanced at
the table and whinged, �Come on, Ginny, be a good sister, and make your tired
brother something to eat.�
Ginny
glared at him, but fixed him a sandwich nonetheless, as well as one for Harry.
Ron bit into his and asked though a mouthful, �What, no cooking today?� Before
Ginny could draw a breath to yell at him, Hermione�s clear voice interrupted.
�Honestly,
Ronald, how many times do I have to tell you not to speak with your mouth full?
It�s revolting!�
At this,
Harry grinned and walked over to her to give her a hug.
�Gee, I�m
glad to have the old Hermione back.�
She
threatened him with her fork and said smugly, �I also didn�t have any
nightmares, thank you very much.�
This statement
produced cheers from everyone and Ginny stood up.
�I�ll Floo
mum to tell her I�ll be spending the night. I�ll try to explain things to her
and I�m sure she won�t mind.�
While Ginny
was talking to Mrs Weasley, Harry asked Hermione, �What are you going to do
about school? Isn�t it late to send applications already?�
Hermione
nodded.
�I guess
it�s late, but Viktor came up with an idea. If you don�t mind, I�d like to
invite him to dinner tomorrow to talk about it.�
�Sure, tell
him to come over. I guess I�ll have to apologise for acting like a prat.� He
gave her a lopsided grin.
Hermione
patted his hand.
�Don�t worry, I�m sure he�ll understand.�
Ginny came
back and announced, �Everything is settled. I�m feeling pretty knackered, so
I�ll just head upstairs to your room, Hermione.�
Hermione
smiled at her with gratitude.
�Thanks for
doing this, Gin. I�ll be right up, I need to catch up
on a lot of sleep.�
She
rummaged around the room for ink, quill, and parchment and wrote a short letter
to Viktor, inviting him to dinner on the next day. She Flooed the Leaky
Cauldron, asked Tom to deliver her message and after hugging Harry and Ron, she
went to her room. Ginny was already asleep, so Hermione changed quietly into
her nightgown and slipped in bed. She glanced at the bottle of Dreamless Sleep
Potion that still remained on her nightstand and smiled. She hoped she wouldn�t
need it anymore.

A/N: I apologize for the long delay, but I was on holiday and the internet access was very unreliable. I hope it was worth the wait.
Three cheers to my beta, Gryffindor_Slytherin, and many thanks to everyone who reviewed. This chapter's title belongs to Filter.
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Love Is No Big Truth