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A Better Fate COMPLETE	By : FemmeBono Category: HP Canon Characters paired with Original Characters > Het - Male/Female Views: 3299 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 3
- 4
- 5
I swear to you, I never really leave. It seems summer is my time to update. Take comfort in the fact that this story is all mapped out, if not written, but it is definitely in progress so keep checking back. Same goes for Deep Roots, The Dream, and Dominion for all you Lucius fans. ;)

Cht. 4, The first magic
Upon rising in the morning, Severus was surprised to note that the shift he was given to wear for bedtime was not much different from the one he was given to work and take his lessons in. They were starch white, presumably to signify their status as beginners, and though it was a coarse weave, the clothes were quite warm since there were pants to go with them as well in the daytime. Likewise, the students--for lack of a better term--were all kept so busy doing physical labor that they created plenty of heat.
Severus himself rubbed a hand over his now bare scalp and looked around. Yes, the shifts were only one way to delineate between the rank beginners and those more adept. The first thing they had done this morning once he had been given his second shift was to shave his head. Grimacing a bit at how he must look, Severus shook his head, rolled his shoulders and resumed his job splitting logs. Soon, he thought, his arms and back would be every bit as sore as his rump from riding the day before. Surely this pain was to teach him something as well, he mused. As he set another log up on the stump, swinging the ax in an arc, and barely registering the crack of splitting wood, he wondered what manual labor Miss Granger was being subjected to and nearly laughed aloud. At the thought of her unruly curls being shorn like a sheep, one deeply satisfying chuckle did escape. He looked around, somewhat abashed to have made a sound, for no one spoke here, unless of course they were adepts of a certain level it seemed. Most of the communication seemed to take place telepathically. Severus could not yet make himself understood that way if he wanted, but the trainers seemed to be able to hear his thoughts easily enough and could make him hear theirs.
Perhaps it was not such a bad thing for Granger to be here, and perhaps she would learn some restraint and humility. He breathed a deep, relieved sigh at the sounds of blissful silence and thought she could do with a bit of that too.
He had only seen her the once at dinner, but by the looks of the few women he had observed around this strange camp, they were to be kept separate from each other for the most part. Genders were split merely to avoid the distraction of sexual tension. Both, he understood, were taught the same things and performed the same chores. In fact, at some point in the day he would be taken to a weaving lesson. Here, it seemed, they did everything by hand that wizards would simply do with magic. They did not look to magic as the answer to everything, more as a way to enrich their lives.
As the day progressed, however, from the weaving lesson to the mid-day meal and finally to actual martial training Severus did find himself permitted to perform magic. There were hand-to-hand lessons where magic was not allowed, but directly thereafter he found himself sparring again with the russet-haired man from the day before. Cian, his name was, and in hands-on combat as well as magical dueling he was a fearsome partner.
�You�re quite good, Severus,� Cian projected as he deflected another spell. It was nearly infuriating that the man seemed to not even be out of breath after two hours of fighting, whereas Severus was panting and weary. He had been quite good back home, and light years beyond someone like Lockhart, the bastard. But here it seemed he was barely up to scratch.
�You�ll get even better here,� the red-head replied with a shake of his head, interrupting Severus' thoughts.
Turning to his only consolation these days, Severus wondered briefly if Granger was in as much trouble as it seemed he was.
�Oh she�s doing quite as well as you,� Cian replied amiably, startling Severus into missing a block. The spell Cian had shot at him landed Severus on his aching backside with a grunt that had the younger man guffawing like a buffoon.
�I was not aware that I needed to employ legilimancy here,� Snape ground out through his teeth.
�True and you don�t,� Cian answered, offering Severus a hand up, which the older man took warily. �There isn�t much about you that we don�t already know, Severus. Your animosity for the Granger girl, for example.� He gestured vaguely as he plopped down on a nearby boulder. �You know that part of the reason you dislike her so is that you have that untamable urge to find out all the answers yourself. You desire to know more than anyone else, because it makes you feel safe. It is a shadow of yourself that you�re afraid will see the light of day. In herself, she is afraid that knowing the answers is her only strength, so she clings to it. It is only one of many insecurities she has.�
�Being an insufferable brat is another,� Severus groused as he circled the ring of thatch that had been set up for sparring.
Cian laughed heartily. �Only to you, Severus. Truly she is quite a striking and gifted witch.�
This statement brought Severus up short. He turned back, raising an eyebrow at Cian who began stalking back and forth like a panther ready to pounce.
�Are we speaking of the same Hermione Granger? Surely not.�
�Absolutely so. I know just as much about her as I do you--if not more so. You two really could get on quite well if you let yourselves, you know,� said the ginger, getting into a defensive crouch.
�So you say,� objected Severus, raising his wand in a classic dueling position.
Cian simply nodded, before lashing out with a lathe of fire which Severus deftly turned to ice and volleyed back to where Cian had been squatting. Yet the unruly youth had rolled aside and come up with a shower of dirt which flew into Severus� mouth, eyes and nose making him spit and rub at his eyes. Taking advantage of his opponent�s distraction, Cian crooked a finger and Severus� legs shot out from under him. Landing again on his rear, Snape cursed vehemently while Cian laughed heartily. �Point again, Severus old boy. I win!�
***
After the sun had dipped behind the tree line, Severus found himself summoned before dinner to a nearby cave partway up the mountain that formed the eastern border of their settlement. His stomach rumbling with aggravation at being denied food after such a strenuous day, he made his way up the winding rocky path to the cave�s entrance and stooped to enter. It was dimly lit by the last rays of the day�s light, just enough that he could see two female forms therein standing around a ring of stones in the center of the large cavern.
He stepped fully into the cave, coming to the center ring and faced the two women, forming a triad.
�Good evening, Severus Snape,� the taller of the two figures greeted in a sultry, husky voice. �I am Inghean, daughter of Scathach. I will be teaching the first of three important lessons to you as our newest initiates. If you will, please, give me your wands.�
The other figure fumbled in her shift for her wand before swiftly handing it over. Severus took his time, not wanting to part with his only line of defense. With great reluctance, he handed it over. Before either could say a word, Inghean dropped them both into the stone circle, which promptly erupted into flames. The shorter figure squeaked in protest and Severus bellowed a �no!� but to no avail. The fire licked the top of the cave, issuing sparks and licks of different colored flames, no doubt from the burning magical tools incinerated down to their cores. Within moments, the fire calmed to a low simmering glow revealing a cornsilk blonde robed in shimmering light blue cloth.
�As you leave the old ways of doing magic behind--the old habits from your world--you start out as you once did. Without a wand to channel your magic, you learn not to rely on outside elements, but the power within yourselves, which is your source. You start again as you were when you were babes, for you are new in this world and new in learning magic again. This is your rebirth into the magical world, and you have much to learn. The first of which is the first magic. Fire.�
With that word she drew their gaze from her face to the flames flickering between them.
�Do you--do you mean we�re to conjure it ourselves?� queried the shorter female.
Glancing at her as she spoke, Severus was jolted to realize that it was Granger. The girl had been silent so long, he was truly amazed. She looked quite different without the untamable curls flying about her visage. In fact, she looked a bit older and more mature. Less like some mussed child who couldn�t be fussed to brush her hair. Her gaze flicked over to Severus as if expecting some retort on his part, but Severus was having the same thought. Not since he was a child had he done magic without a wand, and even then it had not been channeled through his hands as this woman seemed to expect of them.
�Of course. The magic comes from you, simply let it flow through you and out into the ring. Truly, the magic courses through the earth, the moon�s glow, the rays of the sun, the very air you breathe. You are born with an inherent ability to draw it from there, through yourselves. You are the channel. Not some stick� you. You can pull it through your body and direct it with whatever you choose. Your hand, fingers, a toe if you wish. But it is within you. Draw it out.�
Severus and Hermione both shifted awkwardly.
�How?� Severus said, exasperatedly, voicing their concerns in one simple syllable.
�The same way you do all your magic, without even thinking,� the flaxen-haired woman replied serenely despite the answering hiss from Severus� side of the fire. With a snap of her fingers, the fire went out, plunging them into inky darkness relieved only by the dim glow of moonlight from outside.
�Feel the heat build up within you from all the warmth and hot breath of emotions and moments in your life. There is magic in those. The burn of lust, heat of summer, sweltering sun above you, fire of anger, warmth of a friend�s love� you feel these things and use them. Feel them build from the tips of your toes and in your belly. That lust pools in your loins, anger flows from your abdomen, love from your heart. Whatever emotion is strongest at the time, pull from there and let it build until you can stretch it through you. Throw it out from your hands.�
Frustrated, Severus searched for a feeling he could latch onto. Anger was easiest for him, but he felt it throughout. It was too near the surface and all over the place. There was no single point in which to focus it.
�Breathe and center yourself. Find one memory and focus on it, feel the warmth of it, the heat.�
Beads of sweat popped out on his forehead and Severus felt his chest hurting from straining to breath. This workout was every bit as strenuous as the one earlier in the day and he felt faintly dizzy from it taxing his body and mind. A mild tingling in his fingertips told him that magic was building and he was running the risk of doing uncontrolled magic. Not what the situation required, he thought. Control. He must get control.
Just then a sputtering spark erupted to his left, where Granger stood. It sparked once more and he saw her flick her fingers toward the ring of stones with a surprised yelp as a thin tongue of flame shot to life, a scant few centimetres high, but there it was. Severus looked up from under his furrowed brow to see Granger�s face, astounded but jubilant.
�Well done,� Inghean said, folding her hands in front of her.
�Well done, indeed!� spat Severus.
�There is time for you yet, Severus.� Inghean inclined her head to look up at him, meeting his angry gaze. �It is within you to do, but you must get control of your emotions. They are so volatile and so close to the surface that when the dam breaks you will be a danger to yourself and all around if you do not reign them in. They are quite raw, but if you could harness that, the power from it would be immense--�
�Damned if I�m going to sit here and drudge up emotions,� he said recoiling from both women. �Emotions have never dictated what I do or where my magic comes from. Emotions are something I always have to have in check or risk everything. People who wear their emotions on their sleeves sign their own death warrants. You either rule your emotions or they rule you. And I�ll not stand here and let them out for all and sundry.�
With that, he turned on his heel and strode out, leaving a wake of tension rippling through the air as he stalked back to the massive oak that led to their underground fort and his evening meal. He was hungry, angry and raw from the maelstrom of emotions that he swore would not be brought to the surface by walking demi-goddesses or silly ex-students.
When he dropped down beside Cian at the table, the younger man looked up as if to remark, but merely shook his head as if to let something pass. Severus, caught up in the roil of thoughts in his own head, barely registered the action at all.
　

***
That night Severus stood on the edge of a large lake in a deep cavern. In the distance an eery glow emanated from the center of the lake casting everything else into shadow.
�Severus,� the familiar cold voice hissed from behind him. �Your potion has done well. Regulus is dying slowly, but surely. His very darkest, fearful memories wracking his conscience as he goes.�
He turned to face his old master, barely containing the tremors that traced their way down his spine. Reaching his hand cautiously into the folds of his robes he tried to clasp his fingers around his wand, only to find that it was gone. He tipped his gaze to the scarlet slits that were narrowed in mirth at his old friend�s demise and felt the anger build in him.
Severus let it pool in his gut, that scarcely contained fury at all the bloodshed. He thought of all the lives lost, all the fractures in his own soul, of his own conscience pricking him so much that he felt his whole being was bloodied. A scouring inferno built from the soles of his feet through his body; that fire in his belly reached such a pitch that he threw his hands toward Voldemort growling in feral rage from the energy of his hate and watched as flames shot from his fingers, engulfing the robes of the wizard before him.
�Are you happy now?!� he raged. �Do you realize what you�ve done? The families torn apart, women, children, men felled by your insanity! You�re a bloody plague on this world, damn you!�
Voldemort writhed and screamed, not even registering the wrath beside him as he flailed his arms and ran, leaping into the depths of the lake. Snape�s legs gave out, and he landed painfully on his knees on top of the pebbly rocky shore. His breath, ragged and rasping, caught in his chest as the water began teeming and churning. Hands appeared, then arms, scrabbling up to the surface where he knelt. He scrambled back, edging swiftly away to the shadowed wall behind him as shoulders and heads of the first bodies lurched out of the water toward him. Shuffling out ahead of the others, arms outstretched, was Dumbledore.
�Severus,� he moaned, �I loved you like my own son and you killed me as surely as you did your own father. You failed, Severus! You got yourself killed. How in the world can you protect Harry Potter if we are both dead? You, a potions master, not carry an anti-venin? What goes on in that infernal mind of yours, boy? You never let anyone know what you are truly thinking, Severus. You should have--�
�Stop! Stop it,� Snape moaned, his lip curled in a sneer. �I couldn�t do enough for you, old man. When will it end, eh? When is my job done?�
Feeling the rage again, he threw his hands out and flames flared over Dumbledore as they had Voldemort only moments earlier. His robes caught, his beard and ever-present hat engulfed and he began melting like a wax effigy. Barely a moment after, his father and mother appeared both shuffling toward him and muttering recriminations and accusations. �Why couldn� ye have been a normal boy?� his father ranted, �Could�ve played football! Could�ve worked with yer old man at the mill or sommat! Yer the reason I drank, ye no good louse! Yer the reason I fell in. Tweren�t payin� attention to the river or nuthin�, jus� thinkin of my shiftless son an� how ter fix �im-- �
�Why couldn�t you let me be myself?� raged Snape, pulling fire from the pit of his core again, both of his parents melting into oblivion from the flames, leaving one standing behind them, more formidable than the rest.
�You should have saved me, Severus,� she cried, �you should have known he�d come for me. You should have protected me. I thought you loved me. You hated James more than you loved me.�
�No,� Snape gasped, �no I loved you so much it burned me. And you never saw me.�
�You weren�t what I wanted,� Lily replied stepping right up to him. �You weren�t funny enough, handsome enough, outgoing enough. He was everything I wanted.�
�He was an arrogant prick!� Snape shrieked.
�He was mine,� she laughed hollowly, �and I belonged to him in a way I never would for you.�
�I could have given you everything.�
�He gave me everything.�
�Enough of him!� Snape screamed, throwing his hands up and igniting the painful memory of Lily Potter. �You should have loved me the way I was!�
Finally, defeated, Severus dropped to the ground. His fists clenched at the pebbles under him as he cried out his grief. So much pressure from so many years of being pulled any number of directions poured out of him. He sobbed into the soil, curled in on himself until he felt weak as any babe. In the silence at last, he heard only the water lapping the shore and felt the cool roughness of the rocks beneath his cheek. From above though, he began to feel drops of moisture. First one, then a few. Thinking he lay under a leak from some fissure in the rock above, he rolled over to find himself looking into the tearstained face of Lasair. Too numb and weak to move, he simply lay there watching as she placed a hand first on his chest, then on his forehead.
�They never looked within you to see all that you were, none of them. And that is plenty enough to fuel such rage. But leave it here. May you have scourged those demons and may you realize that people will only see what you show them. Tom Riddle only saw your hate, Albus Dumbledore saw your resolve and your desire to redeem yourself, your parents saw an ambitious wizard but an apathetic child, Lily Potter saw a lonely boy who needed a friend. You are all of those and more. The damage was done by the fact that that is all you saw as well. When you realize how much you are and open yourself to all you can be, and be willing to show people your complete self, then and only then will they see it and be able to love you. And they can�love you. Are you worth that?�
�I don�t know,� he whispered, looking into cobalt eyes that seemed to glow in the dim light.
�Until you do�� she said softly as his eyes closed.
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Cian: KEY-un
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A Better Fate *COMPLETE*

A Better Fate COMPLETE