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All's Fair	By : sarcastrow Category: Harry Potter > Het - Male/Female Views: 4263 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

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The Hunt

Pansy came to in a dark room. You stupid fucks, you should have killed me when you had the chance, she thought. Pansy knew Eli, she knew he had heard the signal and would go straight to Seamus. She smiled in the dark. You. Stupid. Fucks.

*

A pair of jeans, a shirt and a pair of socks flew into the sitting room, and Seamus handed them to Katie. “Don’t think Luna will mind you nickin’ a few of her clothes for a bit,” Seamus said as he caught the same collection of clothes that had flown from his room. “Pro’ly need to charm them to fit, you’re a bit taller than she is.”

“Been doing this charm my whole life, Seamus,” Katie said. “Two younger sisters and one older means I’ve been sizing clothes since I was able.” With a casual flick of her wand, the jeans lengthened and the shirt’s arms grew three inches. “Should do,” and she was dressing at top speed.

“Be needing these for a bit longer, d’you mind?” Seamus said as he held up the little box containing her prize.

“I’ll collect when Pansy’s back safe at home,” she said as she conjured a bra out of nothingness and put it on.

Seamus was pulling on his jeans. “Oh, sorry; Luna doesn’t wear those.”

Katie giggled. “Yeah, I know. She does the lifting charm. Most girls with tits that big do.”

Seamus had his shirt on at the same time as she did. “Ready then?” he asked her.

“Yeah.”

“Right,” and he took on a look she hadn’t seen in six years. “I’d like you to come along with me as I don’t have time to call for back up, but I’ll be the boss. I say go, you go. I say stay, you stay. ‘Tis what I do and I’m good at it. Are you okay with that?”

She nodded.

“All right then. Eli?” The quivering elf stepped forward. “Greymartin still alive?”

The elf started to speak, stammered and started again. “I… I don’t know, Master Seamus. He was hit by an awful spell, and I was knocked to the floor by his body.”

“They didn’t see you, then?” Seamus asked.

“I don’t think so, Master Seamus,” the elf said as he trembled. “There was a great deal of commotion, and Mistress Pansy gave me the signal to come to you, so I disapparated from under Master Greymartin and came here.”

“Good job, Eli,” Seamus said. “Now I want you to do something a bit daring, you on for it?”

The elf straightened himself. “For Mistress Pansy and you, Master Finnigan, anything.”

“You’re a good elf, Eli; no wonder Pansy freed you. Okay, apparate over to the basement and see if anyone is there, then come straight back. Got it?”

“Already done, Master Finnigan,” the elf said with a low bow, and with a pop he was gone.

“Shouldn’t be more ‘n a few seconds,” he told Katie.

A second pop accompanied Eli’s reappearance. “There was no one in the basement, Master Finnigan.”

“Great,” Seamus said and took the elf’s hand. He nodded at Katie indicating she should do the same. She took the elf’s hand and Seamus continued. “Alright, take us to the basement.”

The world squeezed out of existence and they were gone.

*

Thomas Greymartin had never been in pain like he was now. The men in the black cloaks had hit him with some vicious spell, one of which he had no knowledge. A great hole was in his left side and he was fairly certain at least one rib was gone. He had lost a lot of blood before he had been able to cast the healing charm and staunch the flow, but that had cost him all the energy he’d had. Now he lay in the middle of the bedroom in only his trousers, a pool of blood surrounding him. He heard a pop that sounded like the elf apparating, but he could be hearing things, he wasn’t sure. The room was spinning from the loss of blood and he was nearly blind from the pain. Someone needs to get here soon, he thought. He’d fallen backwards on the elf after they’d hit him with the spell, and he had felt him disapparate from under him. He prayed the elf had gone for help. There was a movement at the door, and suddenly the sandy-haired Auror from the party was by his side.

*

Seamus, Katie, and Eli had snapped back into reality in the basement and Seamus had done a quick homenum revelio on the house above them. It had shown that there was just one live person in the house, and he was immobile in Pansy’s bedroom. The three of them had raced up the stairs to find Greymartin barely conscious on the bedroom floor.

Seamus knelt next to him. “Got off a healer, good boy,” he said. “You able to talk?”

“Some,” He weakly replied.

“Right then, we’ll get you to Saint Mungo’s straight away, but first I need to know what you know about these guys. I’m going to do Legilimens, ‘tis best if you co-operate and don’t fight it.” He pointed his wand between Greymartin’s eyes. “Think about them, Legilimens!”

Seamus saw though Greymartin’s eyes in his memory. Pansy walked back across the bedroom from the bar with a whiskey for each of them in her hands. His eyes traveled up and down her naked form. In their shared consciousness Seamus sent him a wave of understanding. Yeah, I know. A bit of all right, that one. Her hand held out the glass to him and the house intrusion ward howler went off. Greymartin jumped to his feet, stuffed his legs into his trousers, and zipped. The little elf apparated into the room and they whirled to face the door. It was blasted from its hinges, and a spell followed that took him off his feet to land on the elf behind him. Four men in black cloaks and silver masks strode through the door. “The pure, Eli, find the pure!” Pansy had shouted before they stunned her. He felt the elf vanish from under him. He was barely conscious, but he had enough strength to loll his head to the side and watch as the gathered her. One man’s arm slid from under his cloak and just before they disapparated, he saw that fucking tattoo.

Seamus snapped back into his own mind and jumped to his feet. “Fucking Death Eaters,” he said, and turned to Katie. “Take him to Saint Mungo’s, I’ll be along shortly. Anyone asks tell them you’ve got authority from the Auror department.” He gave her a quick kiss. “Go on, I’ll be there in a bit.”

She knelt and took Greymartin’s hand. “Let’s get you healed. Ready?” Greymartin nodded. She looked up at Seamus. “Don’t be long, Seamus,” and she disapparated with Greymartin.

“I won’t be, love,” he said in the darkened room.

Aurors know many things. They know how to read people, they know the spells to reveal the truth when people are lying, they know the ways of the most ancient magic, and they know when they are to be used. Seamus went to Pansy’s vanity and found her brush. With reverential care he lifted a strand of her jet black hair from it. “Per is saeta ego mos reperio verum,” he said, and then conjured a small bowl and set it on the vanity. “Vestri somes, vestri animus, vestri spiritus, vestri cruor, he intoned as he lowered the hair into the bowl. “Ostendo ego vestri locus,” he said in a powerful voice. “partum a Carnotense! Ostendo ego vestri locus!” He brought his wand down in a slashing motion, the bowl exploded into flames and then transformed into a map of London. A small red dot pulsed in Islington, and Seamus smirked.

*

There was a noise from beyond the door. Pansy rose to her feet, padded to the door and pressed her ear against it.

“She is a traitor to HIM, we have to kill her,” said a rough voice.

“No, she should be punished before that,” a softer, silkier voice said, “I want her to dance on my cock first.”

“Your brain is in your cock, Waldman. HE demands vengeance against those that betrayed the cause,” the rough voice said.

“Yes, yes, McNab,” Waldman said, “But HE was always one to draw out the pleasure, don’t you remember? We fucked Burbage for two months before he finally killed her.”

“You may have,” McNabb said, “I didn’t want that dried-up blood traitor on my wizard’s pride; I never touched her.”

“You missed something special, my friend.” Pansy could almost see the wistful expression on Waldman’s face. “An older woman has cushioning and experience. When I imperiused her, she came alive, fucked like a rhino in heat, she did.” There was a chuckle. “Come on, let’s go back downstairs and have a brandy before the meeting. She doesn’t need to die this instant. We have time, lots of time.” Pansy heard the sound of retreating footsteps.

No wonder you guys lost, she thought. Riddle had relied primarily on men for his Death Eaters; he couldn’t relate well to women. Alecto Carrow was barely female, and Bellatrix Lestrange was mad. Pansy couldn’t think of another woman that had taken the mark. With just men in the crowd, it might be easier than she first thought.

*

Katie was standing in the lobby of Saint Mungo’s when Seamus apparated into it. “How is he?” he asked as he walked up to her.

“They just let me know,” she said. “The curse they used on him was some sort of blast, not reducto, but similar. He’s lucky he had his arm up or it would have taken it right off.” She shook her head. “Haven’t seen that much blood since the battle. Anyway, he’s lost three ribs, a kidney and part of a lung. There was some intestinal damage, too. He’s very lucky to be alive.”

Seamus nodded. “Good thing he got that healer off. So what’d they say about his recovery?”

Katie smiled. “Oh they are very confident he’ll make a full recovery. Skele-grow will put the ribs right, and they’ve got one of their best internists repairing his intestines. The kidney is a bit harder, but it and the lung damage are being handled by a team. He’ll have some scaring, but he should be almost as good as new in a week.”

“Great. He’s unconscious, I expect?”

Katie nodded again. “For at least the next few days, good thing you interrogated him first.”

Seamus shrugged his shoulders. “We always do. Sometimes the last thing a person does is talk to us, but we have to do it that way. Once they come here, the healers don’t let us.”

Her expression grew grim. “Some job you got there.”

He snorted. “It has its moments. You ready to do some acting?”

A smile quirked the corner of her mouth. “Acting?”

“Yeah, I know where Pansy is. Do you think you could pull off a Muggle act?”

She smiled confidently. “Oh, yeah.”

“Let’s go, then,” he said, and took her hand. The crushing darkness embraced her.

*

The only light in the room was from the crack under the door. Her eyes had adjusted to the dark and she could just see the outlines of a bed. Pansy carefully crossed to it and found one of the posts. She ran her hands up and down it, and then grasped it firmly. Any tool will do, Snape’s voice said in her mind. A talented witch or wizard can make even the crudest of things into a tool of magic. Pansy laid her head against the bedpost. “Lumos,” she said in the dark, and the knob on the end of the bedpost began to glow softly. The smile that Padma always called her “man-eater grin” formed on her face.

*

Seamus and Katie popped back into existence in an alley just down from the Islington Tube Station. He drew the map from his pocket and turned to her. “Right, they’re just down this street. See here?” and he pointed to the pulsing red dot. “The pulse means she’s still alive, and from the strength of it, I can tell she’s not hurt. Come on.” They hurried from the alley and down the street toward the spot indicated on the map. Rows of middleclass Muggle houses lined the streets, and Seamus stopped in front of one. “Here,” he said, “This is what I’d like you to do. Can you play the little lost Muggle girl?”

Katie smiled at him. “Oh, excuse me. But I seem to have lost my way,” she said in a pitiful voice. “Is this Brian’s house?”

Seamus took her hand. “Perfect. Now, I’ll disillusion myself and stand right behind you. You do your act, and I’ll see what I can when they open the door, then we’ll plan the next step. Got it?”

Katie nodded and drew her wand. She carefully slid it up her sleeve. “Just in case,” she said, and Seamus smiled grimly.

“You, Lav, and Colin were the only ones who beat me in target practice,” he said, “I remember during the battle you were a dead shot and merciless. If it comes to it, and I think it will, are you ready to do it again?”

She met his gaze and nodded.

“Well, let’s get on with it.” He cast the disillusionment charm on himself and followed her up the steps.

Katie drew a deep, calming breath. Just like a match, she thought. Here we go. She reached out and rang the bell. A few moments passed and she rang again. There was a sound of thumping from the inside of the house and the door opened a crack. A middle-aged man with graying hair poked his head out. “What d’ya want?” he asked gruffly.

“Oh, I’m sorry. I seem to be lost,” she said. “Is this 1081?”

“Yeah,” the older man said.

Katie smiled at him. “Oh good, is Brian home?”

“No Brian here. Now bugger off!” he made to slam the door and Katie put her hand against it and pushed it open a little. “Please, could I use your telephone? He’s obviously given me the wrong address, or I wrote it down wrong. Please?” she said pleadingly.

The old man threw the door open and placed his hands on his hips. “Ain’t no felatone here, now bugger off, little Muggle girl, ‘fore you find yourself in a world of trouble.” He spun and slammed the door.

“Great,” she heard Seamus’ voice say, “Perfect, you’re good. Now get behind me, and wand out.” There was a knock on the door again.

Another few thumps sounded behind the door and it flew open. “I told you…” There was a flash of light and a soft bang. The man fell dead at their feet, a small hole smoking in his chest. A second later the body vanished, and Seamus pocketed his wand.

“Pretty fucking ruthless, Finnigan,” Katie said in an impressed voice.

“Death Eater,” he said coldly, “He bought his ticket long ago; I just punched it for him. In we go.”

“Wilson? What the hell’s going on down there?” a voice rang down from the stairs.

“Nothin’,” Seamus said in a remarkable imitation of the dead man’s voice. “Just some Muggle trash that were lost. I sent her on her way.”

“Well get up here, the meeting’s about to start,” the voice called.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m comin’,” Seamus said. “Meeting,” he whispered to Katie. “Been looking for the remainders of the Death Eaters for a while now, we have.” Katie felt the disillusion charm ripple over her. “We need to take them now before they know what’s afoot.” His voice became low and serious. “We don’t play in the Aurors, Katie. You killed a few in the battle, yes?”

“Yeah, I did,” she replied flatly.

“Well bein’ outnumbered, as I’m sure we are, we can’t afford mercy. So it’s go for the kill, every time. Can you do that?”

She gripped her wand tightly. “Yes,” she said, deadly serious.

“Fine then, you’re with me an’ I’m authorizing you for ANY curse you choose. Don’t be hesitating.”

“I won’t, Seamus,” she said.

“Good. Fuck these arseholes.” She felt his hand on hers, and he led her up the stairs.

*

Pansy could see the decor of the room now. The old four post bed sat with headboard against one wall, a boarded up window opposite, a Muggle painting hung on a third and a shield with two swords crossing it hung on the last. Her man-eater grin grew very wide indeed. An old chest of drawers sat beneath the swords, and Pansy had to pull one drawer partially out so she could use it as a step to climb on top of the chest. Please don’t be fake, she thought to herself as she grasped the hilt of the longer sword. It slid free of the hoops holding it to the shield with the tell tale ring of true steel. Smiling from ear to ear, Pansy pulled the remaining shorter sword from the shield. The naked woman lightly dropped to the floor and rose from a crouch to settle into her natural en garde, the rapier in her right hand and the short sword in her left.

The Parkinsons had fenced since the middle ages, and Pansy had studied swordplay from the age of five. She was exceptional. With the smooth, practiced skill of one who has done it all her life, she ran through a series of parries, repostes, and thrusts. That she was able to fight Florentine, and had the weapon with which to do it, was a bonus that made her cackle. Surprise, motherfuckers, she thought, and cackled again.

*

Seamus sand Katie crept up the stairs. At the second landing they heard voices from down the hall.

“She’s a blood traitor now, you dumb arse,” a rough voice said.

“Look, McNab, we covered this before,” the silky voice of Waldman said. “She’ll die, but first we play. It’s how HE’D want it.”

Another voice sounded from the room as they approached. “She’s the daughter of one of our best financial supporters. It’d be silly, McNab, silly to kill her at all.”

“You were always a coward, Williams. How you got the mark, I don’t know.” McNab said.

There was a flurry where everyone was talking and then a strong voice silenced them. “GENTELMEN! Quiet, please. For her support of Muggles and their filthy progeny, she has to die; however we have needs, and I, for one, want to have my way with her. After that, we can dispose of what’s left. Now, Bialy, what news from the ministry?”

A young man’s voice spoke. “The Aurors are still wandering in the wilderness looking for us,” and he laughed. “That idiot Shacklebolt has put Dedalus Diggle and Sturgis Podmore in charge of the Aurors, and he’s even elevated The Boy to an assistant.”

There was a mass grumbling in the room and Seamus took the opportunity to peek around the corner of the door to the room and assess the situation. He quickly counted nine men around the table. “Nine,” he whispered to Katie. “I’ll take the left, you take the right. On three - one.”

“Where the hell is Wilson?” McNab asked.

“Two.”

A chair leg scraped in the room. “I’ll go get him,” Bialy said.

“Three.”

A green jet of light hit Bialy square in the chest and he fell dead to the floor; a second later, Katie’s reducto took McNab’s head off. The large man at the head of the table yelled finite incantatem, and swept the room with his wand.

The dissolution charm rippled away and Seamus was visible just before he yelled “INCENDIO!” and roasted three men where they stood. Two men made for a door on the opposite side of the room from Seamus and Katie. Her Avada Kedavra splashed against the man at the head of the table, and he fell face-first into his wine glass. The last man in the room pointed his wand at her, and then he exploded from Seamus’ bombarda.

“After them,” Seamus ordered, and vaulted over the bodies to get to the door through which the other two men had disappeared.

*

Doorbell? Pansy thought, that’s interesting. She had been pacing and practicing with the swords for the past ten minutes, warming up her muscles and getting a feel for the balance of the blades. Quietly, she walked to the door and bounced on her toes. A minute went by and there was a series of three quick knocks at the house door. Pansy smiled broadly. Welcome to the party, Seamus. She knew that knock from the many times it had rapped on her front door. A nearby voice called out, “Wilson? What the hell’s going on down there?” Then another answered, “Nothin’, just some Muggle trash that were lost. I sent her on her way.” Pansy nearly doubled over while stifling the laugh. He is so good. You boys are fucked now, she chuckled in the dark.

The murmur of men’s voices grew louder and occasionally Pansy caught a snatch of the conversation. Too bad, she thought. You guys thought I’d be your little fuck toy. Life just disappoints you boys right and left, doesn’t it? Suddenly all hell broke loose, and she heard the sounds of curses and men dying; a woman shouted, “Avada Kedavra.” Her eyebrows shot up. Brought her along for the ride, eh, Seamus? Then there was the sound of footsteps running to her door, and she backed up a pace. Pansy dropped into her fighting stance and waited for the door to open. Keys jingled and a man opened the door hurriedly and stepped through. Pansy took his wand hand off at the wrist with the rapier and ran him through with the short sword. As he fell she ran the second man through with the rapier. The fight lasted all of three seconds.

Pansy stepped over the two dying men and into the hall. Seamus and Katie burst through a door and ran up to her. She lowered her guard and leaned on the rapier like a cane. “Took you long enough, Finnigan.” She smiled at Katie. “Had to stop off for a quickie?”

Seamus and Katie laughed. “Ah, well then, I suppose we weren’t needed here after all, Katie. Seems Pansy had this situation completely under control,” he said.

Pansy smiled at them. “Seriously though, thanks. They had some plans for me that I didn’t like much.”

“We know,” Katie said, admiring Pansy. She was a vision, naked and spattered in blood, leaning on her sword. “We should get you some clothes before we take you anywhere, though.” She pointed her wand at the dead men on the floor and their clothes slid from their bodies to hang in the air in front of her. “Hmm, that shirt, those trousers, these shoes.” The rest of the clothing dropped to the floor and she conjured a pair of knickers. “Here you go, I’ll have these fixed for you in a minute.” As Pansy put on the knickers, Katie modified the shirt into a nice blouse, the pants into a suitable skirt, and the shoes into something that would actually fit.

“That’s impressive,” Pansy said genuinely to her as she dressed, and then she looked serious. “How’s Thomas?”

“He’s alive, and he’ll recover,” Katie told her.

Pansy gave a sigh of relief. “Good, he’s alright. I kind of want to see him again.”

“Well, ladies,” Seamus said. “I’ll be here for a good long while. Dedalus’ll want to see this for himself, and I’ll be writing reports till next week. Perhaps you two should go home and get some sleep.” His brow crinkled. “Wonder if they’ve a floo in this shit hole?”

The two women laughed. “Let’s see if the wards are down now. Eli!” Pansy shouted.

The elf appeared with a pop. “Mistress Pansy!” he said, and wept happily as she bent and hugged him.

“You are so good and brave, Eli,” Pansy said. “I’d… If you weren’t already free, I’d free you again,” and she hugged him tightly.

“Thank you, Master Finnigan,” the old elf said, “I knew you would save her.”

“We still have a bet to settle, Seamus,” Katie said with a wink.

“That we do, lass,” he said in full brogue, “Don’t worry, I’ll be in touch tomorrow. Till then, I should call the office and you two should go get some sleep.”

“Actually, I’d like to go to Saint Mungo’s and check on Thomas,” Pansy said, and took the elf’s hand. “Thanks, Seamus, Katie, you’ll be hearing from me soon. Oh, and I’ll be taking these.” She bent and retrieved the swords from the floor, then took the elf’s hand again. “Eli, Saint Mungo’s.”

The old elf smiled broadly. “Yes, Mistress,” he said, and with a snap they were gone.

“Well, you certainly know how to show a girl a good time, Seamus,” Katie said as she drew him into an embrace, “I don’t think I’ll ever have a date that’ll top this one.”

He kissed her passionately. “I’ll be sure to arrange something just as good next time,” he said.

Next time? she thought. “I’ll hold you to that,” she said, and kissed him.

They stood in the hallway, surrounded by the unseeing dead, and snogged until they were breathless.

The Latin

With this hair I will to meet with truth, Your body, your life, your breath, your blood. Make me a chart. Show me your place
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All's Fair