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Torn	By : starstruck86 Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Snape/Ron Views: 3458 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
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Chapter List
- 3
- 4
- 5
Severus was
listening to the radio as he washed up, as usual neglecting to look at the
plates and focussing instead on the view out of the kitchen window. Their
southern corner of the country had been dipped into weak winter sunlight as
they stood on the cusp of December, making up for the bitter cold which blew
with the wind.

The radio
was playing in the background. With a yawn, Severus realised he had never been
so grateful for the rule of the Wednesday Half Day tradition which the Wizarding Academy abided by. He�d had a relaxing
afternoon after giving George a gentle walk, and spent most of it by the fire.

But the
time had ticked towards five and he thought busying himself for Ron�s entrance
to their home was probably best.

I think if I spend another night in
silence, I might actually become mute. Can you become mute? Hmm. I might be
about to find out, anyway. Ooh, I like this song.

Severus
grabbed his wand and flicked it at the radio, sending over a few soap suds from
his hands as he raised the volume. It was one of those cheesy eighties songs
that Ron just loved to sing along to. The
last time we heard this we sang it together. He hummed the tune.

He glanced
at the clock to gauge exactly how long he had before Ron came home. His husband
wasn�t taking kindly to loud noises, laughing, singing, even half-smiling.
Severus had consigned himself to the fact that the things he hoped would
improve after the funeral had not done so. If possible, they were even worse.

It had been
a week, and Ron still wasn�t eating the equivalent of a full meal every day.
His cheeks already looked hollowed and his clothes were baggier. Severus
marvelled at the sheer speed of Ron�s metabolism and how hard it worked when
Ron consumed his usual intake of calories. Severus had always been thin, but
that was because he barely ate. When he did eat, he put weight on �at the
moment he stood in the kitchen washing up he was the heaviest he had been in
his life. Still slender, but it just proved how much of a miracle Ron�s body
actually was.

Ron�s moods
were slowly dragging Severus kicking and screaming into the depths of despair. That�s over the top. He put a plate
aside. Alright no, near enough the truth.

Before he
knew what he was doing, he heard himself singing loudly to the chorus of the
song, filling the kitchen with his scratchy tone. Hell. He�s not here. There�s no law against singing when he�s not in
the fucking house.

***

Ron stepped
out of the Floo, well aware he was in a foul mood. He managed to keep his
friendly fa�ade in place at work, but there was no way he could keep the
barrier up when he got home. He didn�t have to.

If he dares fucking tell me to cheer
up I swear I�ll hex him to Avalon and back before he can fucking blink. Oh,
what the fucking hell is that?!

Ron�s head
snapped up as he heard music floating in from the kitchen and Severus� voice
desecrating the melody. He didn�t lie. He
really can�t fucking sing at all.

He kicked
off his shoes and left them where they fell. Severus would move them for him
with his anally retentive compulsion to be tidy. Ron looked at the living room
and realised that it was far too
tidy, which meant that his husband had been at home all afternoon. That also
meant he�d probably cooked dinner and Ron would be forced to sit and grimace
through it. Nobody seemed to understand how sick food was making him feel, and
it wasn�t on purpose. He�d tried to enjoy it, but he was fighting to keep even
small amounts down.

And his cooking is bad enough to
make me want to chuck up anyway.

Ron turned
into the hallway and came to a stop in the kitchen doorframe, watching as his
husband sang out of the kitchen window, clearly oblivious to his arrival.

Aren�t you supposed to be keeping an
eye on me? You haven�t even fucking noticed me.

He flicked
his wand at the radio and cut the sound off completely, and stared over at
Severus as he jumped and whirled round, sending a flurry of soap suds across
the kitchen floor.

�Smart,
that, turning the tiles into a death trap,� Ron snapped, sending an unnecessary
drying curse at them �the bubbles were so minimal most of them had popped
before they even reached the ground. �And do you have to have that so fucking
loud?�

Ron
sidestepped George, lying on his side, ignoring the wary look the dog gave him
as he did so. George didn�t bother to get up and greet him, every time he�d
tried in the last week he�d just been pushed away. He was a smart dog, he
wasn�t going to bother with rejection when he could just attack Severus and get
love in return. Ron threw himself down at the kitchen table and glared moodily
out of the back door.

�It�s too cold to have that open,� he snapped again, and kicked out a leg to
slam it shut.

�I had it
open for George, if he wanted to go out,� Severus dried his hands slowly. �Do
you want anything to drink?�

�Tea,� Ron muttered.

Severus
took a deep breath as he turned away and did his usual trick of counting to ten
forwards in French and backwards in Italian. Don�t affix �please� to that or anything, lest it kill you.
Steeling himself, he asked his next question.

�Did you have a good day at work?�

�It was
fine,� Ron said bluntly. �I didn�t cock up today, if that�s what you�re
asking.�

You know full well I wasn�t fucking
asking that. Why, why are you being so horrible? Severus realised he was gripping a
teabag too tightly when it split. He threw it in the bin and nearly erupted
when he heard Ron tut at his wastage.

�Learn
anything good today?� Severus tried again, managing to successfully get the
teabags in the teapot without murdering them.

�Not really,
bastard is taking it easy on me,� Ron scowled, folding his arms over his chest.
�I don�t get why I can�t be the one to decide when I�ve had enough.�

Severus thought it best not to answer that �any answer he gave would be the
wrong one. He poured the tea and summoned the milk from the fridge. You can�t even bloody look at him. It
was true that Severus had only summoned the milk so didn�t have to take in his
husband�s form. Whether that was cowardly or not, he wasn�t sure, or whether he
was just protecting himself. The last time he�d looked at Ron closely he�d
gotten a mouthful for scrutinising him.

A few
moments passed in silence whilst Severus sent Ron his tea by magic and picked
up his own.

�Aren�t you even going to give me a kiss?� Ron asked incredulously, and Severus
nearly slopped his tea all over the floor in astonishment.

It took
great effort to stop his hands shaking as he put down his tea and walked to
Ron�s side. He bent slightly and placed a kiss on his lips, bracing himself for
a spiteful comment on his technique or breath. Severus could have been bowled
over with a feather when nothing came, and, in contrast to some of the
god-awfully cold kisses they�d shared over the last week, Ron returned it with
warmth, and even a little compassion.

Fuck me, alert the Prophet. He�s
remembered there are two people in this relationship! Severus gave Ron a small smile as
he straightened.

�You�ve got
something stuck in your teeth,� Ron�s eyes turned dark again and flashed over
Severus� face with contempt.

Spoke too soon.

Severus
fell into an empty chair and surreptitiously tried to niggle whatever was stuck
in his teeth out, trying not to make too much noise, but Ron seemed irritated
that he�d even sit there and do it.

�There�s a
thing called a mirror, in the bathroom,� Ron scathed. �Use it.�

�I will in
a minute,� Severus replied, and took a mouthful of tea.

A seagull
was squawking overhead and Ron became more irritated with every cry it gave. He
threw filthy looks at the ceiling as though it harboured the bird in the
plaster. Severus could feel the tension rising between them as one would in a
cauldron reaching boiling point. And I
predict a Ron Weasley Eruption in five, four, three, two, one-

�For the love of FUCKING Merlin SHUT UP!� Ron hollered upwards, pressing his
face into his hands in distress.

Oh yeah I�ve still got it. Severus took a dignified sip of tea
and said nothing. Another long evening of silence stretched ahead of him like a
gaping chasm. Maybe I could go out for
the evening�

Severus checked
himself at that with a swallow. He knew that he shouldn�t be considering
leaving Ron to his own devices when he was clearly dealing with his mother�s
passing with difficulty. But it wasn�t as if Ron even seemed to want his
company. Every night for the past week he�d forced down a few mouthfuls of
dinner before bolting to his attic room until bedtime, when he said nothing.
They hadn�t had sex or even a proper cuddle since the night of the funeral and
Severus was starting to go a little mad in the underwear department.

Like we�d get anywhere. He�d get my clothes off and find fault and refuse to do it. Severus knew it was likely they
wouldn�t even get as far as the clothes coming off.

�So what
tripe are you going to try and force down my gullet tonight, then?� Ron asked
resignedly.

�Nothing,�
Severus shrugged. �I�m not going to force anything on you. You clearly don�t
want my efforts and it�s a waste of food to keep on cooking for two. So you can
get your own food from now on�.

Now, that
was technically a lie, because there was no way in hell that Severus was stupid
enough to stop providing regular food, but he had to wonder if a little reverse
psychology might do the trick of getting Ron to eat more. But, from the way
Ron�s face turned red and his eyes narrowed, Severus realised no such luck
existed.

�Well
that�s just lovely, tired of your role of nurturer already?� Ron spat.

�I�m just
saying that you�re refusing all of my efforts,� Severus shrugged. �I�m not
going to keep wasting food on you Ron. I understand if you�re finding it hard
to eat, I�m not blaming you.�

�Yes you
are,� Ron claimed. �I see the look on your face right now.�

Severus
wasn�t aware he was looking anything other than weary. It was certainly how he
felt. �Look, I�m not going to fight over this. I�ve tried my hardest to keep
you well fed and healthy but you�re not having it. If you get hungry, you know
where the kitchen is.�

�You�re
just trying to get out of cooking,� Ron shook his head. �After two years, being
bereaved doesn�t grant me a little time off from my position as the kitchen
slave?�

�I�ve never asked you to cook every night,� Severus shrugged. �You took that on
yourself.�

�Yeah because we both would have fucking starved to death otherwise,� Ron
rolled his eyes.

�Isn�t that
what you�re achieving now?� Severus let his face carve into stone.

�Oh please,
one week isn�t going to do me any harm.�

�Looked in the mirror lately?� Severus countered. �Seen how gaunt you look? In a week?�

Ron
shrugged. �It�s just the grief, Severus. As you keep on telling me, everyone
deals with it in different ways. And if it�s killed my appetite then that�s
clearly just my way. Practice what you fucking preach, why don�t you?�

�I�m not
preaching,� Severus growled, his back teeth grit
together. Careful �we don�t need another
trip to the dentistry ward of the hospital, do we, Severus?

�Bloody
sounds like it,� Ron told him. �Anyway, what the fuck would you know?� He added
flippantly enough to provoke.

�Excuse
me?�

�What the fuck do you know about death and grieving anyway?� Ron knocked his
tea back and stood up. �You didn�t give a fuck when your own father died and
I�m not sure you felt much more for your mother, either.�

Severus
realised his jaw was hanging open but he couldn�t force it to shut. That was by
far the most painful thing Ron had ever said to him. His father, he was spot on
�Severus couldn�t deny, even so many years later, that everyone was better off
with the bastard dead. But his mother, Severus had loved her very much. And of
course, not to mention the whopping great loss of Lily that Ron seemed to be
omitting from his assessment.

�Oh shut
your mouth,� Ron gave a tut. �Very
nice goldfish impression.�

�How dare
you say that I didn�t care when my mother died?� Severus was suddenly tingling
with his own rage. Up until that point he had just been miserable because of
Ron, and the way Ron�s grief swamped the chain bond with sadness and gloom. But
now he was feeling very real anger.

Ron
shrugged. �I dare because it would seem like you�re a cold hearted prick most
of the time.�

Severus
stared at him levelly but didn�t trust himself to speak. Ron clearly had more
than enough to say for both of them. It was probably best he let out his anger.

�I mean you
didn�t even fucking cry last week,� Ron turned and paced up to the larder at
the end of the kitchen before storming back again, arms forming a tight barrier
across his chest. �Who doesn�t cry at a funeral for fuck�s sake, are you made
of stone?�

No. She just wasn�t my mother.

�And then
you stood all aloof at the fucking wake against the wall, like you were too
good to mingle in my family.�

�I didn�t
know what to say to them,� Severus wasn�t going to have that. Harry and Fleur
had done exactly the same and Ron wasn�t laying into them. �And after your Aunt�s go at me I didn�t feel particularly
spurred on to attempt another polite chat.�

Ron merely
sneered in response. He rested his hands on the back of his vacated chair and
gripped the wood, turning his knuckles white.

�Just stop thinking you know what�s best for me,� Ron said, voice low.

Severus had
said those words himself before and it was that fact which stopped him from
retaliating.

�If I want
to starve myself then it�s none of your fucking business,� Ron went back to the
food, his mind hurling insults around, most of them even he turned down despite
his upset. �You don�t get to be the person that takes her place and takes care
of me. You�re so far off filling that position it�s laughable.�

�I am not trying to fill any void
your mother�s left behind, Ron,� Severus pushed himself out of his chair. �I�m
not because I never, ever want to do that. I just want to be your husband and
your lover, not your parent and guardian, for Merlin�s sake. I�m just trying to
keep you healthy whilst you heal from this.�

�Healthy, have you tasted the crap you cook?� Ron�s laugh was cruel. �You go
around like the world hasn�t changed, like everything�s the same.�

�Life goes
on,� Severus shook his head sadly. �You can pretend otherwise all you like,
Ron, but it does. People still have to live when someone leaves.�

�Well have
you ever considered that maybe I don�t want to?� Ron was well aware his voice
was becoming choked. �That somehow it just doesn�t feel right for us all to do
that?�

�Right or
not, it�s the real world,� Severus worked his lower lip. �Which I think it�d do
you a favour to rejoin.�

�Oh
please,� Ron scoffed. �You? You�re going to talk to me
about doing myself
favours? He who never does himself any? You�ve got to be having a fucking
laugh, Severus! Why don�t you think before you speak, before
you shove sanctimonious drivel down
my throat!?�

I can�t get over how much that
sounded like me at his age. Severus struggled for words to say out loud when his mind was alive
with hurt. Oh God� have I done this? Have
I created this?

�You know
it�s the truth,� Ron shook his head. �That�s why you can�t find anything to
fight back with.�

�Have you ever considered that maybe I simply don�t want to fight with you,
Ron? That I don�t want to be your punching bag?�

�How very
noble of you Severus. �In all that may
come to you�� Did you forget that part of our wedding vows?�

�I�ve been
dancing around you for a week,� Severus felt his restraint slipping away. Once
it had become clear that Ron was broiling for a fight, he had resigned himself
to staying quiet, but he had failed. �I�ve been treading on egg shells, doting
on you, making you food, and you�ve chosen to throw it all back in my face. And
I kept on doing it anyway, because of
that part in the vows.�

�Oh, whatever,� Ron scowled childishly.

�Is that
it, is that all you have to say for yourself?� Severus raised an eyebrow.
�Whatever? Hmm. Maybe you can�t think of anything more detailed because deep
down you know you�re being irrational.�

�I�m allowed to be irrational, I�ve just lost my mum,� Ron�s voice cracked at
those words and faint creases marred his brow.

Severus
instantly moved forward to give comfort and was more than hurt when Ron dodged
backwards, out of his reach.

�Who the hell said you could touch me?�

�Again,
that�d be the wedding vows,� Severus sighed.

They had
reached an impasse and Severus had never been gladder of anything, except maybe
when Ron had awoken in St. Mungo�s just over two years ago. He looked at the
pale, drawn young man in front of him and wanted nothing more than to take him
in his arms and love him beyond all reason.

�Please,
Ron� I just��

�What?� Ron
asked.

�I just
want a hug,� Severus flushed with embarrassment, and knew it would be flooding
the chain bond.

Ron looked
at him for a moment, before taking a deep breath. Then he closed the gap
between them and threw his arms around Severus in a death grip which made his
ribs ache. Severus responded in kind, though he was confused at the way the
bond quivered with something that Ron was desperately trying to hold back.

�I needed
this,� Severus whispered, almost unaware he was saying it.

The embrace
was ripped away and Ron glowered at him. He opened his mouth to speak but the
words refused to come. Instead, he narrowed his eyes, shook his head with what
was undoubtedly disgust, and stalked from the kitchen, slamming his hand into
the door frame as he went. Severus watched in shock, feeling sick to the
stomach when the large, pale hand slammed into the wooden border with enough
force to shatter the bones within it.

He choked
slightly on the air he involuntarily breathed in before it escalated into
something very near hyperventilation.

�G-George,�
he stammered, �Bathroom.�

He managed
to make his way to the enlarged bathroom, barely aware of the feet that were
carrying him. George slowly loped his way behind him and Severus shut the door
quietly. With a shaking hand he drew his wand and sealed the door magically,
placing a silencing spell over the entire bathroom as well.

***

Ron�s hand
was groaning in protest as he kicked down the trapdoor to his attic room. He
threw himself down onto the beanbag in the corner and swore when he hit the
back of his head on the wall in his moodiness.

�Fucking son of a bitch,� he hissed, hand and head throbbing in unison.

Need, what the fuck does he know
about need? Ron
didn�t need a mirror to know his lips were snarling. How hard is this for him, exactly? What great fucking trial is this for
him to sit through? It�s not his fucking life that�s been blown apart.

As he
thought the words, Ron let his eyes overflow with the tears he�d been fighting
down for half of the day. He knew that people lost those they loved every
single day, across the world. He knew that and yet he still felt like he was
drowning. And Severus didn�t seem to understand why.

I�m doing everything I can to keep
my head above the water. What more does he fucking
want? Me to be up and cheerful? Just
because he didn�t give a shit at his parents� deaths�

A stab of
guilt wracked him as Ron was jerked from his rant. Oh fucking hell. Did I really say that? Oh my good God.

Panic
flooded him and he knew it would dance through the bracelet on his arm straight
to wherever Severus was in the house.

�Oh
fucking�� Ron never got the rest of his curse out, because then he began to cry
in earnest, half because of his loss, half because of what he�d said to his
husband.

He�s your fucking husband, a stern voice in his head chided
him, making the tears flow faster. And
he�s trying to help you.

Ron took
some steadying gulps of air. �No,� he shook his head defiantly. �No he fucking
wasn�t.�

***

Severus was
glad of the silencing spell that he�d thrown up in the bathroom, because the
sound he was making was horribly undignified. Tears dripped off the end of his
nose. He was sat against the bathtub, his legs out in front of him, face bowed
to his lap. George sat worriedly by his side, sporadically nosing against his
cheek as if to remind him that he was not alone, that he had somebody.

Severus
hiccupped slightly and sniffed, closing his eyes to his thin thighs. He rarely
felt so adrift.

If Molly could see this she�d be
breaking her heart,
his inner voice said wryly.

�Well,
she�s not, is she, that�s the point. And she never will. And how is he ever
going to heal?�

The inner
voice seemed strapped for an answer and that set Severus off into a round of
fresh howling. The voice always seemed to have something to say, at least. But not now. George worriedly nosed against his face again
and Severus turned to look at the dog.

�I�m sorry, George, I know you hate this and the fighting� I don�t know what to
do with him� I don�t know how to handle this. I�ve� the anti-depression stuff
I�m slipping into his tea just isn�t working. I can�t keep it up, he�s going to
catch me soon, and I�m� actually quite scared of what he might do.�

Severus
swallowed at the ridiculous notions of that statement, and wished he could take
it back. The implication of a nearly forty-two year old wizard being scared of
one half his age was pathetic. Still. I�ve never seen him look so angry.

�Can you
even tell me what I did?� Severus asked the dog pointlessly, gesturing with his
hand before raising it to wipe off his tears.

The chain
bond swum with prickling anger still, and Severus shuddered. �He�s angry at me�
I don�t understand why. All I�ve done is try and be there for him. But then so
have you and he�s treating you like shit as well.�

George gave
a low growl which told Severus what exactly the dog thought of that.

�What the
fuck are we going to do?� Severus asked him, just in case the dog had any great
ideas �stranger things had happened.

George
immediately got to his paws and moved away, before putting the front two, still
bandaged, on the rim of their large and somewhat extravagant bath tub.

�A bath?
You think a bath is the answer to all our problems?� Severus raised an eyebrow,
the corresponding eye stinging as the air hit it with the extra exposure.

A yap was
his response and Severus, despite how rotten he felt, couldn�t deny that maybe
George had it right. He clung to the side of the bath to stand up and reached
over to put the plug in, before swivelling the tap heads.

Sniffing
and pulling himself together a little more, Severus looked around. �Hmm. Shall
we use the last of daddy�s favourite bath bubbles?� He asked George and laughed
a little when the dog�s eyes took on a gleam when Severus summoned Ron�s
favoured bubble bath. �Yes, my thoughts exactly.�

He upended
the bottle beneath the water stream until it squelched. Then he threw it in the
bin with a petty little prick of satisfaction in his mind. He stripped off and
folded his clothes before moving to stand in front of the mirror, taking in his
red eyes and puffy face, where tear tracks still stained the skin.

The chain
glinted at his wrist and he lifted it up to look over it. It looked as clean
and dainty as the day they�d put them on. Touching it he felt warmth. He raised
it to his lips and kissed it softly. Stupid sentimental fool. Tears spilled again as he lowered
his hand, and Severus watched in the mirror as they made their way down his
cheeks.

You�re an ugly bastard when you cry,
Snape. He turned
away from the mirror, then and looked at George who was still propped up on the
side of the bath, watching as the bubbles foamed in the water.

�I know he
loves us both,� Severus told the dog. �I know he does.�

***

Ron crept
out of the attic and cast a wary eye around for Severus and George. He had
cried for so long he had an almighty headache, and he needed a pain potion.

Just my fucking luck. The one place I need to be is the one place he is.

Ron knew he
had been out of line earlier that evening. That accusing Severus of the things
he had might be enough to drive him away forever. He didn�t know how to atone
for it; his mind was too full of pain to think of a way to do so. So he walked
to the bathroom door and knocked loudly. �Severus?�

There was
no answer. �Severus?� he knocked more loudly and pressed his ear to the wood,
seeking some kind of answer.

His back
was instantly set on edge by the silence. The kitchen was empty, as was the
living room. Their bedroom door was wide open and the spare room�s was ajar.
The door leading to the cellar was closed, but no light shone from beneath it
�and Severus wouldn�t have been in his cellar in the dark. The only other closed
door in the house was that of the bathroom, and worry rose in Ron�s chest as he
took a few steps back.

He turned
into the kitchen and worriedly fingered the handle of his wand. He�s probably just ignoring me� as he has
every right to.

Spurred by
his worry, Ron walked back to the bathroom door and thumped it with his fist.
�Severus, look, I�m sorry for what I said earlier. I was totally out of line,�
he bent at the waist to see if he could peer through the old keyhole.

He could
see that the candles were lit, and that Severus was in the bath with his back
to him, he could see just enough of his black hair peeking over the rim.

That�s too low down� he hates water
in his ears�

�Severus!�
Ron�s voice rose to a shout and he thumped the door even harder. �Severus
please, can you just me know that you�re listening to
me?�

Ron heard a
gentle growl from inside the bathroom and recognised George�s grumble.

�George,
it�s me, daddy� look� can you��

This is ridiculous. Ron stood upright and pointed his
wand at the door and blasted it open. George leapt to his paws and growled
again, backing away from Ron towards the bath tub. He�s� oh my God, he�s protecting him from me.
What on earth does he think I�m going to do?

Ron was
dragged from his horror at the dog�s reaction by the realisation that Severus
still hadn�t moved. One quick assessment showed him that his husbands� nose was
only millimetres away from joining his mouth beneath the bathwater. The skin of
his face was red, angry, and tearstained.

Before he
knew what he was doing, Ron leapt forward and grabbed Severus by the shoulder,
roughly pulling him up into a sitting position. The water made a racket and ran
up and down the bath, threatening to spill over the sides.

�Whassgoinon?� Severus jerked awake, blinking dumbly at his rude awakening, taking in
Ron�s shocked and angry looking form next to him.

�Trying to
do yourself in?� Ron raised an eyebrow.

�What, no!�
Severus looked around at the bath, and realisation dawned on him. �I must have
fallen asleep.�

�Likely story. Christ. If you wanted some of the
limelight to fall on you Severus, you didn�t need to feign a suicide attempt to
get it.�

�I just fell asleep!� Severus protested desperately. �I was hot and tired and
hungry and I must have dozed off.�

�You were millimetres from drowning yourself. You�re lucky I came down when I
did.�

�Well,
thank you, then,� Severus flushed. �But I assure you I�m telling you the
truth.�

�I don�t
know why I bother,� Ron snarled, pocketing his wand. He stomped to the cabinet
and pulled out his preferred pain medication. He looked at George before he
left. �George, come with me. We�re going to sleep in the spare room tonight.�

Severus watched with trepidation as the dog backed up completely against the
bathtub and raised his lips to bare his teeth. He didn�t have to growl. The
teeth were threatening enough to make their point all by their very white and
shiny selves.

�Oh, I
understand, you�re choosing sides these days?�

�He�s a
dog, Ron,� Severus sighed. �He�s not choosing sides. Look at it from his point
of view. You�ve just blasted the door open, ripped me up out of the bath and
got angry with me. What�s he meant to think?�

�He�s meant to be intelligent,� Ron snarled.
�But it doesn�t matter. Whatever. He wants you, he can
have you.�

�Think
about what you�re saying, for one second,� Severus� tone was somewhere between
pleading and desperate disdain. �Just think about it.�

�I DON�T WANT TO THINK ANYMORE!� Ron shouted. �I�m going to knock myself out
with some sleeping potion.� He tore one from the cabinet and vanished, slamming
the door he�d blasted open with concern moments before behind him as he went.

Severus heard
him stamp along the hall and then slam the door to the spare room as he passed
through it.

�Shit, George, you didn�t think warning me I was about to sleep with the fishes
was a good idea?� Severus breathed, raking a hand back through his damp hair.
�Now he thinks I was stealing his bloody thunder. I don�t want his fucking
thunder! I just want him back. I just want it back to normal.�

George
whined in apology and Severus looked at the auburn dog with a soft expression.
�But thank you� for staying with me. I know I said you weren�t taking sides but
we both know that�s a lie.�

�And so does
Ron,� came a voice which made him jump.

�Mother,
really, I�m the bath,� Severus sighed.

�I can see
that. You�ve run out of bubbles.� She taunted him, but floated a safe enough
distance away from the bath. �You�re in a right old mess, aren�t you?�

�I don�t know what to do,� Severus� lower lip threatened to tremble. �Nothing I
do or say is right. He�s sleeping in the spare room. Not once has an argument
we�ve had gone that far, mum� not once. I don�t know what to do.�

�You let
him sleep in the spare room,� she said simply. �Let him have his moment of
self-pity. He will get lonely, Severus. And you just have to be there for him
when he does.�

�He�s going to starve himself to death in the meantime,� Severus muttered.

�No he
won�t. You can keep on spiking his tea,� she said with a small smile. �I used
to do that to your father, you know� a few sleeping potions. Gave
us some nights of peace.�

�He� said
he didn�t think I cared when you died,� Severus looked into the bathwater. �How
can he think that? Surely he knows me better than that� I��

�He does,�
Eileen assured him. �Ron knows you better than you know yourself.�

�I want to
help him,� Severus swallowed.

�Then just
back off until this anger abates, Severus. It will, I promise you it will. It
will get worse before it gets better, though� maybe you should� enlist help
from his family, and friends. You�ve been very isolated here this past week��

�I can�t do
that,� Severus shook his head. �No, I can�t go to them and say I can�t look
after him� they�re counting on me to do that. They�ve all said it, numerous
times. I don�t want to fail them. Even in extenuating circumstances.�

�They would
understand,� she sighed. �But you always were so stubborn about asking for
help. At least talk to someone other than the dog,� Eileen asked of him. �It�s
not good for you. You�re left alone to brood, Severus, and when you brood your
mind grows dangerous. You know that�s the truth.�

�Are you
saying it wouldn�t be a far jump to me slipping under the bath water on
purpose?� Severus glared at her.

�I�m not
saying anything of the sort,� Eileen glared straight back at him, her ghostly
face somewhat more impressive than his own. �I�m just asking you, please, as a
mother to her son, to not isolate yourself. You need to talk about this. George
is a wonderful animal, but he�s not human company or reason.�

�Sometimes he�s better than both those things,� Severus murmured quietly,
though he understood his mother�s point completely.

�I�m going
to go now. One last thing, Severus� I think this is running deeper than you
realise.�

�There�s something else, isn�t there?� Severus asked immediately. �Something else causing so much rudeness towards me?�

�I really
think so,� she nodded sadly. �I hope he can get round it.�

�Or at least fucking tell me,� Severus bit into his lip.

�Are you
sure you�d really want to know?� Eileen asked wisely.

�Anything
is better than this.�
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