Never Mine | By : RynStar15 Category: Harry Potter > Het - Male/Female > Draco/Hermione Views: 21248 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 1 |
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or the characters therein and do not make any money or intend any copyright infringement by placing them here. |
The cold tiles felt alien against my skin as I rubbed them on the ground, over and over. I knew that girl would have grabbed the nearest teacher or prefect and was likely even now dragging them to me. I was thankful that he had wanted to meet on the Astronomy Tower since no one would be there this time of day. Everyone was down in the Great Hall finishing dinner. I should have asked the girl what she was doing up here at such an hour…
What to do, what to do? Think, Hermione!
I couldn't. My mind just whirled in fear and anger and pain. How could he do this to me?
Stop being so selfish! What is wrong with you? He's trying to do what's best, isn't that what you always told him to do in the first place?
I listened as footsteps and worried voices hurried towards me and rose to my feet. My wallowing was over. It was time for action. It was time to end this.
…
Two months, two weeks earlier…
Maybe the knocking thing was a bad idea.
A sound like a Hippogriff charging accompanied the door swinging inward and a nearly two-metered madman charged out. His mouth opened as if to thunder out some angry retort but upon focusing on me his eyes glazed over with unbridled fury and his lips thinned.
"What the hell are you doing here?" he gritted out through his barely suppressed ire.
I realized I didn't really have an answer to that. So, I ignored it. "May I come in? I'd really rather not yell through a door."
He sneered in a look of revulsion. The door slammed shut before me and I cringed at the acrid smell from the burst of air that hit me. Apparently, he had not taken to the shower. Lovely.
"Well, I suppose this will work just fine," I said, undeterred, and sat on the ground criss-cross, leaning against the door. I dug my wand out of the inside pocket of my robes and cast a Silencing Charm on the hall in case Remus decided to eavesdrop.
"So," I began loud enough for him to hear whether he wanted to or not. If he wasn't going to talk, I would. He was going to rejoin the land of the living either by choice or by me dragging him kicking and screaming. "Smells pretty bad in there. You do know that there are showers available here?"
Pause. Pause. Nothing. "One right across the hall, in fact. With a sinks and toothbrushes and everything."
Pause. "Do you honestly plan on spending the rest of your life in there? Become the woebegone Pureblood hermit of Headquarters?"
Still nothing. Well, the one wonderful thing about Hermione Granger is that I can talk to a brick wall for an hour. This would be no different. "Pretty gloomy life, if you ask me. Hardly worth saving at all."
I could almost feel the anger radiating from the room, but he didn't make a sound. I grinned when I thought of how annoyed he would be right this moment, likely prone on the bed with his ragged pillow over his ears. Though I knew I was doing this for his…eventual benefit, I couldn't deny that after years of mockery and bullying that it felt good to turn the tables for just a moment. "I've heard that you haven't been especially cooperative. They'll send you back if you don't shape up," I lied. The Order had dealt with their fair share of brooding teenage boys. Unless he posed a threat, I knew they would never endanger him.
"Besides, don't you want to finish your schooling? I mean, you can't go back to Hogwarts, of course, it wouldn't be safe for you there anymore, but maybe we could set up some kind of owl program? You can still get your N.E.W.Ts, I hear you did well on the O.W.Ls. I know last year was hard, but you can still pass. I could help you out, get you passing grades…"
Pause. Silence. "It would be tough, but don't you think it would be worth it? I mean, after this is all over, don't you want to get a job? Have a career? Have a life?"
The silence, at this point, was growing mildly irritating. Not because I was being ignored, I was more than used to that, but because of how desperately I realized I wanted to be the one to finally pull the impenetrable Draco Malfoy out of his shell. "Or are you going to waste all that potential? You know you made the right choice, even though it was a hard one, probably harder than I can imagine. We all realize that, we all see it, we know what it took for you to come to our side. You can be forgiven if you want to be."
Then I said the one thing I had never told anyone since that night in the hospital wing all those months ago when Harry had told us about Dumbledore, my voice low with emotion. "I don't blame you for what you did last year, for trying to follow through with your task. I don't know what I would have done in your place. I can't imagine having to choose between my parents and Dumbledore. All those failed attempts…they weren't mistakes, were they? You wanted to get caught, you wanted someone to stop you, to look up and help you. But no one did. You must have felt so alone."
I felt a shift in the air, as if he were standing right on the other side of the door. Emboldened, I surged forward. "I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm sorry, Draco. I'm sorry for what they put you through, I'm sorry no one saw you. I'm sorry because I did and I did nothing to help. I stood by and watched you suffer. We all did, for months and months everyone stood by while you were drowning and no one reached out a hand. And then that night of the tower…we all stood by and let them take you, we let the Death Eaters steal you away, a child. If it had been Harry or Ron or me…the Order would have revolted. But because it was you, because of your name, they allowed you to be taken by those monsters…" I shuddered, scoffed. "Hell, we were the monsters. We failed you, I failed you. I'm so sorry."
There was the slightest weight against the door, the softest sound of fabric against wood as he slid down to sit opposite me. My heart fluttered in triumph as I continued on, spilling the burdens on my soul which had been piling up for so long. "It must have been a nightmare to choose between the lesser of two evils that night on the battlefield, but I'm glad you did. We can't take back what we did, but we can try to make it right now, same as you. We've both made bad choices, but we can fix them if we'd just let each other in…"
The silence was deafening, but I knew he'd heard me. I wanted to bang the back of my head against his door in frustration, but I refused to show weakness. I could be just as stubborn as he was.
I began again, talking about classes and the Astronomy test we'd had Wednesday night. I talked about the weight Slughorn was gaining and all the students who were gone now. I told him how the N.E.W.T Herbology students had spent four grueling hours dressing the Mandrake saplings for the winter. I was just starting in on what a better teacher Hagrid was than Professor Grubbly-Plank when the door opened so fast I fell back with it, my head smacking on the floor.
"Do you ever shut up?" Malfoy thundered before reaching down and grabbing my hair, pulling me up by it. I had never really thought of how painful it would be to be dragged to a standing position by your hair, but as I screeched out in pain, I decided it was quite a lot. My head and neck felt like they were going to vacate my body, but Malfoy ignored my distress and threw me against the door jam.
"What do you still not understand, Granger?" he snapped, his red rimmed eyes boring into me. He looked a wreck, hair unkempt, a golden beard forming, gaunt as I'd ever seen him. "I. Don't. Care. I don't care about school or our damn classmates, I don't care what you think about my life or hygienic habits or manners! It doesn't matter whether you lot decide to hand me back over to the Dark Lord because honestly, I don't give a fuck whether I live or die!"
"Why?"
His face contorted and I was worried for a moment that he might hit me, just whale into me and take out all of his frustration. How long had it been since I'd come up? Surely close to twenty minutes? Would Lupin intervene before I was smashed into a pulp? But all thoughts fled from my mind when he threw me from him and back into the hallway, stumbling and crashing to the ground.
"Get out of it, Granger. You're not welcome here."
I stood slowly, brushing the imaginary dust from my clothes and trying not to show that my hip hurt from where I'd hit the floor. He stood in the doorway huffing with indignation. We stared each other down, neither giving an inch.
Fast as lightning I drew my wand but he leapt at the same time, sensing my strategy. One hand came to my right wrist, the other to my left shoulder as his force sent the both of us into the wall, knocking the wind out of me. He started yelling something, but I couldn't hear over the roar of blood in my ears as the fight kicked in and I writhed against him, attempting to dislodge him. We fought for the wand, my fingers gripping that slender piece of wood for dear life while he tugged, pulling up until I was on my tip-toes, flush against him.
I knew I was going to lose, felt my fingers slipping as he tried to pry my wand from my grasp, so I broke out in a rush of force and elbowed him in the ribs. He grunted, his grip slackened, but not enough so that when I pulled, he came too. Our feet were in a twisted dance and my tug threw us off balance so that we both ended up on the floor on our sides. I kicked out, reaching for my wand with my left hand as well while his right hand, not holding the wand, gripped at the front of my shirt in an attempt to tug me down. We continued to grapple until I had practically crawled up his body and pinned him to the floor in a maneuver a senior Auror had taught Ginny and me in order to take control from larger opponents.
"Let go of my wand, Malfoy!" I grunted, still attempting to pry his fingers from mine.
"What, so you can curse me again? Not a chance!"
Our positions reversed and I was now the one on the dusty floor, both his hands holding both of mine which were holding my wand above my head. I was amazed I still had control of it.
"I can't breathe!" I squeaked, hoping for reprieve. Instead, as I should have figured in the first place, he only bore more of his weight onto my screaming lungs.
"Better get used to it because I'm not letting you up until you swear you'll leave me the fuck alone!"
I let out a strangled cry of frustration and tried to buck him off, but he was so much heavier and stronger. He held me down with the weight of his body easily, making my pathetic attempts to heave him off seem foolish. He grinned wolfishly down at me.
"No sense in fighting it, Granger. You know I'll win. Now, give up and leave me be."
His low voice made the hairs on the back of my neck stand and, even though his breath smelled horrid, the feel of it brushing against my sensitive skin there made my own breath hitch. I realized then the incredibly provocative position we were in and thought, for one fleeting moment, what it would be like to be in this position under entirely different circumstances. What would it be like to have a man lust after you, to want you in such a primal, urgent way?
"I'm going to count to three, Granger," Malfoy grunted as he fought to restrain me. "And if you don't swear that you'll leave me alone I will be forced to make you."
"You won't hurt me," I sneered, rivaling his own signature.
"Won't I?" I had never been this close to Malfoy before in my life and I was terrified to realize that he was excruciatingly beautiful even through his thick mask of hate. His fingers tightened painfully on my wrists and I felt my fingers losing their grip. "I was lenient last time, but only because I owed you a debt. That debt has been paid and I'll not be so merciful a second time around."
I had to swallow as my mouth had run dry. What would he do if I didn't make my promise? And how would he keep me to it anyway?
"One-"
What was the smart decision? Keep my mouth shut and show him I have a backbone?
"Two-"
Or should I just tell him I will and lie?
"Three!"
Maybe I should just leave him alone for real.
Whatever I might have chosen no longer mattered because he was hauling me up to my feet and ripping my wand from my hands, ascertaining the fact that he'd merely been toying with me before. He pointed it at me in a dueling pose.
"I suggest you get going, Mudblood."
I snorted. Did he really thing he could take me in a fight? "Accio wand!"
My wand flew straight into my hand and I hit him with another Full Body-Bind before he could even blink. I didn't attempt to cushion his fall, but watched with some amusement as he hit the ground. His eyes rolled around wildly and I twirled my wand between my fingers, grinning like a fool. I did love magic.
"Don't you ever try to use my own wand on me again," I snarled, my tone deadly. "Have you never paid attention in McGonagall's class? Trying to duel someone with their own wand is incredibly foolish! Now, as long as you're just lying there, again, you might as well listen. If you don't knock off this 'woe is me' act you are going to find yourself in this position quite a lot. I'm going to get very tired of this charade very fast and you should know by now what happens when Hermione Granger gets ticked off!"
She starts talking about herself in third-person?
I jumped about a meter when Draco's voice reverberated inside my head. I looked down at him in horror for a moment, ensuring he was still in the throes of the curse. Even if he hadn't been, the voice had obviously come from inside my head, and not from his lips. Was this how Harry always felt?
"What in Merlin's name do you think you're doing?" The words came out a little more breathlessly than I'd hoped.
Dangerous for you to keep your mind so open, Granger. Anyone could come waltzing right in and see anything they wanted.
"Well, I'm not typically in the company of those who want to! Now, stop it right this instant!"
Don't think I will. Let's see, what does the Mudblood have in here?
I felt sick and my head pounded as images ran through the fore of my mind, images I most certainly did not want him to see. Starting from only minutes ago when I'd sat in this very hallway, bearing my heart about his situation. I could feel the familiar guilt and pity assail me before we were zooming back to two nights ago when I'd laid wide-eyed in bed staring at Lavender's empty bed and the space where Parvati's used to be, grief tearing at my heart. Next was the last battle as I struck down man after man heartlessly, filled with the rage of war as my friends fell around me. The portraits of the fallen in the Great Hall, Ron turning around in Potions class and winking at me, holding Harry as he sobbed after another battle, a dungeon, dark, cold, pain, agony, and fear, so much fear as the sound of heels approached…
I didn't realize what I was doing until the sensation of having a rubber band around my skull released and I noted that I was straddling Draco Malfoy and that he had a bloody nose and I had incredibly sore knuckles.
Gasping, we locked wide eyes. I couldn't move, couldn't think…the things he'd seen, what he'd almost seen, what no one had ever seen, what no one knew…
I saw my wand lying on the floor where I had dropped it in my fit of rage. I jammed it up against his temple, breathing hard, my hand quaking in fury.
"Give me one good reason why I shouldn't Obliviate you right now," I snarled. He just looked up at me, his breath wheezing through a probably broken nose, his jaw still locked. "I swear I will!"
He didn't blink. For endless moments, he looked me dead in the eye, never wavering, never glancing away, his eyes wide. I expected him to enter my mind again and beg me not to, but he didn't. He simply laid there, frozen under the spell, those haunted eyes staring up at me.
A terrifying thought dawned on me. "Do you want me to?" I asked.
He blinked once and suddenly, the fight left me. My arms turned to jelly, my whole body slumped and I pulled back my wand.
"You're serious? You actually want me to erase your memory? Merlin, Malfoy, what the hell have you seen?
His eyes slanted to the side and refused to meet mine, closing again the weight of his trials.
"Hermione? Is everything alright up there?" Remus called from the floor below, making me jump at the sudden intrusion to our suddenly morbid interaction.
Draco looked at me again and I just stared into those grey depths which seemed to plead with me, begging me to do something so detesting that my soul ached.
I lifted the Silencing Charm as I worked to find my voice. "We're fine, Remus. I'll be down in a bit."
I knew Remus would hesitate, but I sat completely still until he left to the kitchen and I looked back to Draco. I took several deep breaths to center myself and, in doing so, realized that he reeked. Bad.
I smirked in an attempt to lift the dour mood. "Alright, Malfoy. Looks like it's time for your bath!"
Don't you fucking dare-
"Oh, I do."
I stood with an evil glint in my eye and lifted his stiff body with my wand, floating him into the bathroom next across the hall and settling him in the porcelain tub. I smirked as he continued to scream at me through Legilimency and turned on the tap. He cursed as the freezing water hit him and I laughed out loud at his reaction. Did I enjoy this a little too much? Maybe. But I cut the guy a break and turned on the hot water.
I could feel him trying to invade my memories over and over again in an attempt to throw me, but I thought of a brick wall and pushed it to the front of my mind as Moody had been teaching us.
"If you don't cut that out I'll leave that nose broken. Wouldn't want to scar that pretty face, now, would we?" I threatened. He glared at me as if he had no greater wish than to cause me pain, a lot of pain, but slowly the pressure on the front of my head lessened until I could think clearly again.
"There's a good ferret. Now, can you wash yourself or will I have to do that for you as well?" I asked scathingly, conjuring soap and a wash cloth. With a flick of my wand the spell was lifted and he scrambled up to a sitting position, shoving his sopping bangs from his eyes. The look that he sent me could have burned me to the ground.
"Bitch," was all he got out before he was tackling me to the floor. I barely had time to let out a terrified squeak before a very wet and very angry Slytherin was pinning me to the slick tile. His hands came to my wrists and I cried out in pain as he gripped them roughly and thrust them above my head, banging one against the counter. His face hovered inches above mine and I reveled in the fact that we had been in this position several times now and it was becoming increasingly harder to stem the pleasure I got from it. I wanted to scold myself, but I was too busy enjoying the utter fury on his face to care.
"Who the fuck do you think you are!?" he roared, droplets of water and blood splashing onto my face, my clothes seeping with his bath water until I could feel his curves in an incredibly wanton way.
"I don't think I'm anybody, but I suppose it's your opinion that matters here," I panted, his weight making it somewhat difficult to draw in a breath. "Who am I, Malfoy?"
He huffed above me, just staring at me until I felt slightly uneasy.
"Go on, Malfoy," I goaded. "Who am I?"
"A Mudblood!" he spat, shoving off of me. The second his hands left my wrists I shouted
"Impedimenta!" and he flew back into the tub. My whole body quaked with hurt from his words but I showed none of it as I shoved him back down into the water while he struggled and yelled. Strength I didn't know I had held him down long enough to dunk his head before he lashed out, releasing my grip on him. I stumbled back and, before he could get footing to hoist himself back up, I hurled "Incarcerous!" at him and his arms and legs snapped together, tied by thick ropes. He splashed back into the bath and I leaned over him, pulling him up by the front of his shirt so that he didn't drown.
"You-"
"Shut up!" I snapped. "I don't especially care to listen to you! You smell and you're going to get a bath, so you might as well give it up!"
"Are you going to give it to me, Granger?" he snarled, looking even more dangerous as blood continued to pour down him chin.
"Looks that way, doesn't it?"
His eyes grew wide. "You wouldn't?"
"I would. Now quit fighting me, you ungrateful, prejudiced arsehole!"
He flailed and I reached behind me for the soap and wash cloth which I had dropped when he'd tackled me. Dunking both in the water I lathered up the washcloth and set it aside. Gripping his shirt with two hands I ripped it down the front, the buttons flying every which way. He grinned cheekily.
"Well, Granger, if you wanted me naked you should have just said something."
"You're disgusting," I retorted, although it was far from true. He was sculpted like Adonis, on this side of skinny, as if he hadn't eaten much in the last few months. His skin was flawless ivory except where one long, deep scar ran from under his left pectoral and across his stomach to his right side. He said nothing about it as I pulled the shirt down his arms where it bunched at his bound wrists. I left it there and started to scrub harshly while he glared at me.
"You're going to get it, Mudblood," he growled. "When I get my hands on you-"
"I'm sure I'll be very terrified and surrender to your every wish. Bottoms up!" I shoved him down to rinse away the soap on his torso and he spluttered, his legs flailing like a fin.
"Granger!"
I simply grinned and pulled him back up into a sitting position. When I reached for his belt buckle he yanked up his legs to cover himself. I raised my eyebrows and folded my arms. "What, do you intend to bathe yourself now?"
He glared at me for a moment. "Give me the fucking soap and untie me."
I smirked with triumph and threw the wash cloth and soap into the tub. I undid the spell and he rubbed his wrists where bright angry red marks had bloomed from his struggles.
"Well?" he snapped up at me. "Are you just going to stand there and ogle me?"
I turned around and bit my lip to keep from laughing out when he growled.
"Get the fuck out!"
"I don't think so. This may come as a shock to you, Malfoy, but I don't exactly trust you. Do what you have to do and be quick about it. I don't have all night."
He muttered profanity but I could hear the water sloshing about so I knew he was doing as he was told. When it became clear he was actually washing, I stepped outside of the bathroom and stood to the right of the door. I heard the shower running and allowed myself a few moments to get myself back under control, wiping the blood off my face. I hated that the words he still spat so easily could affect me even now, but I didn't delve into it. It wasn't a big deal. The things that he said to me didn't matter, his opinion about me didn't matter. All that mattered was what my friends thought about me, what I thought about me. That's what counted.
By the time he came out, bare chested and fuming, I was able to smile up at him. He just turned away and slammed into his bedroom. I knew as angry as he was I'd never get a word in edgewise, so I decided to leave him be. For now.
Lupin stood when I entered the kitchen and looked me over. "Why are you wet? What was all that noise about?"
"He resisted the bath but I couldn't take the smell anymore," I answered nonchalantly as if it was an everyday thing to be bathing Death Eaters. "I'm tired; I think I'll head in. Goodnight."
"Goodnight," he replied warily, Kingsley muttering the same. When I landed in McGonagall's office she just raised her pencil thin eyebrows and told me to hurry to bed. I bade her goodnight and hurried through the freezing corridors. When I entered the Gryffindor common room I let out the breath I'd been holding when I didn't see any of the Quidditch team milling about. That meant they were still at practice and I was free from the questions. I had to keep from sprinting up the girl's staircase in my haste to avoid inquiries about why the Head Girl was soaking wet. I knew I should go back down to the common room after changing to attend to my duties of assisting the younger students on homework or making sure none of the Weasley twin's merchandise had somehow made it past post inspection, but all I wanted now was a bit of peace and quiet.
My breath caught in my throat when I noticed that there was now only one bed in the dormitory. Apparently, Lavender had decided not to return to school after all. Closing my eyes, I stripped as quickly as possible and grabbed the bottle sitting on my bedside table containing my Sleeping Draught. I downed enough to knock me out for a solid eight hours and fell onto my bed, my head whirling with everything that had happened.
Sweet dreams, Granger.
I sat up so fast I gave myself vertigo. Malfoy! That prick!
Get out of my head! I screamed at him mentally. I heard his chuckle, then silence. I sat in worry for long moments, staring into the dark of my room, but the potion was working its way through my system. My thoughts became groggy and I settled myself back down, deciding I would deal with Malfoy in the morning.
…
XOXO
RynStar15
While AFF and its agents attempt to remove all illegal works from the site as quickly and thoroughly as possible, there is always the possibility that some submissions may be overlooked or dismissed in error. The AFF system includes a rigorous and complex abuse control system in order to prevent improper use of the AFF service, and we hope that its deployment indicates a good-faith effort to eliminate any illegal material on the site in a fair and unbiased manner. This abuse control system is run in accordance with the strict guidelines specified above.
All works displayed here, whether pictorial or literary, are the property of their owners and not Adult-FanFiction.org. Opinions stated in profiles of users may not reflect the opinions or views of Adult-FanFiction.org or any of its owners, agents, or related entities.
Website Domain ©2002-2017 by Apollo. PHP scripting, CSS style sheets, Database layout & Original artwork ©2005-2017 C. Kennington. Restructured Database & Forum skins ©2007-2017 J. Salva. Images, coding, and any other potentially liftable content may not be used without express written permission from their respective creator(s). Thank you for visiting!
Powered by Fiction Portal 2.0
Modifications © Manta2g, DemonGoddess
Site Owner - Apollo