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Whiskey	By : KohakuShadow Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Snape/Remus Views: 6766 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: Obviously, I neither own Harry Potter or any of its characters, or am making any money off of writing slashy fanfiction for it. If I did, I'd have gotten it right the first time, now wouldn't I?

Chapter List
- 3
- 4
Chapter 4: Full Moon

"You don't have to stay,"
Remus said, handing the empty beaker back to the potions master.

"I do," Severus
answered. "For myself."

"Severus."

"No. I've been afraid of
your other form for a long time, Remus. Too long. Ever since..."
He nearly cringed at the memory of Sirius's practical joke. "...but
that's the past. If I'm to put it behind me, then I need to see it
for myself. Or are you questioning my talent at potions after all?
If I've done it correctly, you'll be just as docile as you always
are."

"I'm docile, am I?"
Remus smirked.

"More or less. When you're
not screaming out my name in passion, at least," Snape replied
blandly. Lupin laughed. He loved the way that Severus could crack a
joke without changing his facial expression or tone of voice at all.

It had been four days since
Remus's confession. The first night after had been awkward--neither
knew if they should proceed as usual, but in the end they'd agreed
that there was no reason to stop something they both enjoyed, and
every night since they'd enjoyed one another quite thoroughly--every
morning, too.

But tonight, well, tonight was the
full moon. Remus had taken his potion, and now they entered the
Shrieking Shack for what would no doubt turn out to be a very long
night. Severus found himself waiting for Remus to transform as if
the world was about to end. He hadn't told the werewolf everything
he was thinking. He didn't know if he could love someone who turned
into something so terrifying. He knew it wasn't Remus's fault that
he was a werewolf, but the condition was still present. You can
never really let something into your heart if on some basic level it
terrifies you. What he was testing tonight wasn't Remus's
transformation, but his own reaction to it.

"It's...starting," Remus
grit out, feeling his body begin to ache and move. His bones warped,
jaws opened, his teeth grew and his fingers stretched and his spine
bent over like he had a hunch. And of course, there was also the
fur. Once the agony of his transformation ended, he slouched onto a
blanket in the corner. He could feel the base instincts--hunt. kill.
devour.--in the back of his mind, but his own mind was more
prominent. Severus really was uniquely brilliant on the subject of
potions. But he felt embarrassed, too. Truth be told, he'd done
everything in his power to convince the man out of staying not out of
fear, but because he didn't want Snape to see him this way. The bond
between them was fragile, for one thing, and if that wasn't enough he
was ashamed of this form. It was hard being alone during the full
moon, but it was harder not being alone.

Severus watched the transformation
in horror, but it wasn't the horror he'd been expecting. Rather than
fear, he became consumed by the fact that Remus was suffering and
there was nothing he could do to help him. Nothing. He'd never felt
so useless in his life. He often considered his own troubles without
giving the troubles of others much thought. He was aware of this,
but figured if they didn't care about his problems, then he didn't
see why he had to worry about theirs. At least, he often thought
that while working to protect them--like that irritating and
intensely reckless Potter boy. But all of a sudden there was Remus
Lupin huddled up in a furry little ball in the corner (well, okay,
not so little), and there was nothing he could say to make it better,
no potion that could truly fix it, and knowing that there was
nothing he could say or do ached as if someone was performing a
cruciatus curse on his chest. That's when he realized he was already
in love with the man. He probably had been since Remus had first
propositioned him. No, before that. There were those dreams. Remus
had appeared back into his life so suddenly that the shock hadn't let
him come to terms with what was in his heart. But knowing that and
saying it were two different things.

"...is there anything I can
do?" he asked after what he was sure must have been several
hours.

Remus pretended to be asleep.
They both knew he was faking it, and the rest of the night was silent
and awkward. At some point, Snape had fallen into a fitful slumber
sitting up in a chair with a blanket around his shoulders. When the
dawn light filtered in, he woke to find that Remus was asleep as
well--naked, human-shaped, and curled into a ball on the floor.

Severus yawned, rose, and wrapped
the blanket around the other man, brushed the hair from his eyes.
Remus startled awake, sat up with his eyes darting as if he was
afraid of something.

"It's alright," Severus
said as gently as he could manage, which he feared wasn't nearly
gentle enough. "It's only me."

Remus's scatter-shocked eyes
locked on his and the raw pain Severus saw made him pull the man
against him.

"You stayed," Remus
whispered.

"Of course I stayed. Merlin,
you're freezing."

"Your hands are cold too,"
Remus answered, unable to resist dropping his head onto Snape's
shoulder as the other man took the blanket again and wrapped it
around his shoulders.

Snape didn't answer. Instead he
said, "I never realized how painful it is for you."

"I would prefer that you put
it out of your mind," Remus replied.

"You know I can't."

"It still bothers you,"
Remus said, disheartened.

"Yes," Severus answered
honestly. "But not for the reasons you think." He
hesitated. Part of him wanted to share his inner feelings with this
person he cared for more deeply than he could have imagined, but
another part was so used to keeping secrets it was difficult to
speak. "...I expected to feel the same fear I did on that
night, when I realized that Sirius's prank almost killed me. I
expected to feel my bones turn to ice. But that isn't what I felt
when I watched you transform. It...upset me that you were suffering
and I could do nothing to help you. There was nothing I could do to
ease your pain. I've never felt that way before. Never. You know
that I loved Lily deeply and that I would do anything to protect her
and keep her from suffering--I failed in that, true, in spite of all
efforts to the contrary--but until the end, Lily was happy. She
wasn't in pain. The only times she was hurt were the times I said
things recklessly and made her angry. It's different with you.
You've suffered. You still suffer."

Remus felt his heart burst and
ache. "Severus. I'm hardly the only person who has ever
endured a little pain. You..."

"This isn't about me,"
Severus interrupted.

"Yes, Severus, it is,"
Remus sighed, pressing his palm to the other man's heart. Deep down,
he thought, Severus was probably still an awkward, lonely boy out of
touch with his own feelings. People change, true, but only in small
increments and subtle shifts. Their basic nature remains the same.
He watched Severus's dark eyes for a few long moments and wondered
how he'd ever found the man's expressions devoid of
emotion--everything was there, if you stopped long enough to look for
it. "Who did you think it was about, silly man?" he
continued at last. "Me? I already know what I feel."

Snape's gaze hardened. "Don't
patronize me, Lupin."

"I'm not patronizing,"
Lupin sighed. "I'm reminding. Merlin, you're still so
defensive."

"Well, you're still too
glib," Severus answered testily.

Remus noted though that he was
still being held close though, in spite of the complaint. He smirked
faintly. "Severus." He said the man's name patiently as if
he felt he'd better humor him.

"I love you." Severus
was as surprised he'd said it as Remus seemed to be at hearing it.
The words just suddenly leaped from his throat before his brain could
stop them from embarrassing him. Maybe it was just that he was
getting too old to hold everything in. Maybe his subconscious just
knew he couldn't endure loving someone the way he'd loved Lily all
over again--from a distance, never saying anything. Or maybe he was
just a little braver than he realized.

"Really?" Remus asked
once he remembered to breathe.

"Yeah well, maybe...a
little." Severus's lips curled downward, his tone sulky as if
he was already wishing he could take it back.

Remus leaned up and kissed him
deeply. "Or maybe a lot?" he murmured against Snape's
lips.

"...maybe," Severus
answered. It was the furthest his pride would allow him to sink and
they both knew it.

Remus pulled him down to the floor
so that he was laying against him, hips between the werewolf's pale
thighs, and kissed him deeply again. It was a softer, more lingering
kiss than the ones they'd shared in the throes of passion before, but
Severus wasn't a fool. "Is sex all you think about?" he
sighed as if exasperated, but it was all just posturing--they both
knew he wanted to make love to Remus just as much as the naked man
beneath him wanted it.

Remus smirked playfully. "If
it is, you only have yourself to blame," he answered. "Besides,
it's Saturday morning, and we're in the Shrieking Shack. I think
that means you have an entire weekend to show me how much--or how
little--you love me, inside and out."

"Pervert," Snape
replied, but his voice was muffled by the love bites he was already
laying along Remus's throat. He didn't know how Remus did it--but
the slightest lewd comment issued from the man's soft lips made him
feel like a lascivious teenager. He'd thought himself more or less
controlled when he was younger (though he'd thought about sex as much
as the next teenage boy) but now it was like he could barely get
through the day without it.

"Mn," Remus answered as
he rocked his hips up against his lover's. "Takes one to know
one."

Severus moaned softly. Insatiable
prat. Remus was already well on his way to a burgeoning erection and
that alone was reason enough for him to be well on his way to just
the same place. He kissed Remus's throat softly, then lifted his
head to claim his lips again. There was no need to rush. Suddenly,
sex seemed like it was about so much more than invoking the maximum
amount of physical pleasure they could attain as quickly and
repeatedly as possible. It was about being together, about showing
the person you love how you feel without having to say it. That, he
thought, would be easier. He'd always been better with actions than
words. He let his hands glide over Remus's body--ribs, hips, thighs.
He traced the man's pelvis lightly until he reached the man's groin
and wrapped his fingers around it.

Remus gasped softly and bucked his
hips. Severus hadn't paid his groin much mind before. That had been
fine--the other ways he touched him had been enough to drive him mad
with pleasure. The strokes seemed a bit clumsy--tentative and
uncertain--but it still felt wonderful to be touched such a way,
especially when he knew Severus had previously been hesitant to do
so. "Sev..." he moaned encouragingly. He got the feeling
that Severus hadn't been with many men. Part of him wanted to ask,
but the other part didn't want to know. He listened to the latter in
favor of not ruining the mood and was awarded by Snape's strokes
becoming firmer and more confident. He moaned and bucked into the
touch again, shuddering as his lover's mouth continued to move
downward until it found one of his nipples.

Severus licked and sucked at the
already tight bud. He hadn't been sure about stroking Remus, but the
man seemed to be enjoying it, and if he thought about it, it wasn't
that much different from masturbating. Lupin's moans and the way he
arched his body egged him on. He jerked the man off eagerly now, and
Remus was just as eager, rocking his hips wantonly and sucking breath
in between his teeth, letting out shuddering gasps as Severus moved
his lips from one nipple to the other, then back again.

He was really teasing him far too
much, Remus thought. He was going mad with desire the way Severus
stroked him--one hand on his shaft and the other palming his balls as
if trying to milk him. And then the mouth--oh for love of Merlin
that mouth!!--orally assaulting his nipples as if they were
candy, going from one to the other than back again, and again, and
again. Remus bucked again, hard, and cried out sharply as his first
orgasm of the day swept over him. It had caught him by surprise. He
was feeling wonderful, of course, but he hadn't expected to be so
eager that he would climax prematurely like that. He wasn't an
inexperienced teenager!

Severus chuckled. "You're so
easy," he teased. "Slut."

Remus chuckled weakly. In spite
of his premature ejaculation, he was still hard. He chose to blame
it on the fact that Severus was just too desirable. "I prefer
the term nymph," he joked, remembering the muggle word Snape had
taught him. "Which must make you a satyr."

Severus answered by smoothing some
of Remus's still moist seed over his thick member. Remus
unconsciously licked his lips. He offered Remus no further
preparation before plunging into the excessively tight hole. "Oh
fuck...yes...Merlin, you're still so tight..."

Remus arched hard and screamed.
The little twinge of pain only intensified the pleasure. He knew
Snape hadn't properly prepared him because he'd caught on that Remus
liked it a little rough--especially right before and right after that
time of month. He bucked against the familiar intrusion eagerly.
"You would find an inner tube tight."

"You're exaggerating a bit,"
Snape chided.

"Mn, perhaps, a bit...oh
fuck!" Severus had just grazed his prostate. "Do that again
Severus, please."

"Hm? This?" Severus
asked, teasingly avoiding it on the next thrust.

"Seevvvv," Lupin whined.

"Or perhaps you meant this."
This time Snape rammed into it with all of his strength.

"Yes! Fuck yes! Right there,
Sev...Merlin, ah, please...hard like that..."

But Severus decided to slow down,
tease Remus a bit. "Mn, I think...I'd rather take my time."

Remus moaned; he didn't know
whether the pleasure or annoyance was more prominent as Snape taunted
him with long, slow thrusts. It didn't matter either way--Severus
didn't tease for long. He couldn't endure the slow torture any more
than Remus could and sped up his thrusts. He'd thought it would be
nice to make slow, deep love like the kind you read about, but that
just wasn't reality. Sex consumes. Devours. And love? Love only
makes that need more exigent.

"Remus..."

Remus moaned loudly in reply
bucking upward against Severus urgently. The actual act hadn't
changed much--it was still rough and desperate and messy. But
something at the core of their relationship had altered drastically.
The way Severus looked into his eyes and called out his name. The
way he raked his fingers through sweat-dampened hair and the
arbitrary, idle caresses. The little things made all the difference.
What had been mind-blowing sex had turned into something akin to an
out of body experience. The world seemed to slip away until there
was only the two of them--kissing, embracing, joining together over
and over again.

"Severus!!" he
cried out so loudly when he came that his throat felt tender
afterwards.

Severus had meant to scream
Remus's name in return, but he was pulled into orgasm so quickly that
a raspy, primal moan of ecstasy was all that managed to escape as he
thoroughly filled his lover with the evidence of the pleasure burning
through him to the core.

Severus collapsed on top of the
werewolf, needing a moment to catch his breath, but didn't pull out.
He listened to Remus's pulse beating and kissed the thumping beat at
Remus's throat when he had enough energy to lift his head again.
Remus sighed contently, shifting his weight. They both gasped softly
as it caused Severus's extra large member to move inside of him.

"Mmn. Sev...that was...there
are no words to describe it," Remus rasped, pulling the other
man into a lingering kiss. Their tongues tangled languidly at first,
but they sound found the kisses becoming far more eager. Severus's
member began to swell again inside of his love, and Remus's own
member responded by pressing up against Snape's pale abdomen. Before
they knew it, they'd begun again, with even more fervor than the
last.

Time lost all meaning as they
writhed and moaned together. Severus had no idea how many times
they'd made love, but he had a feeling that he'd need both hands to
count it out. The only clue he had to how long they'd been going at
it was the quality of light filtering over their naked, sweaty bodies
as they lay panting together in the afterglow. The sun was low in
the sky. Evening then, which meant they'd been at it all day.

Remus curled against his love's
shoulder contently. The sex was great before Severus had said those
three small words, but now... Now it was as if the flood gates had
opened up at the dark haired sex god he'd somehow fallen for was
trying to pour every emotion he'd ever had into him via whichever
orifice Remus saw fit to offer at the time. "The muggles have a
word for this, don't they?" he mused, tracing patterns idly
across Snape's pale chest.

"For what? Two men having
intercourse?" Severus asked.

"No, for people who become
addicted to sex."

"Ah, yes, I believe they call
it a 'nymphomaniac'."

Remus chuckled. "So we're
nymphs then?" He seemed to find the mental image of the two of
them running gaily about the forest intensely entertaining.

"Fool," Severus chided.
"We are no such thing. It is my understanding that such a word
applies to someone who is morally loose and will engage in such
activities with anyone."

"Ah, well, then I suppose it
isn't appropriate. It's only you that I'm interested in."

The feeling was mutual, but
Severus had made enough sappy confessions for a month or so and
didn't answer right away. "I think perhaps it is only my
intimate regions you love."

"Completely incorrect,"
Remus declared happily, giving his lover's chest a playful poke. It
wasn't often one got to tell Severus Snape he was wrong after all.
"Though, I'll admit I am rather fond of that particular part of
your anatomy," he quipped.

"Yes, I'd rather noticed,"
Snape answered flatly as Remus rolled to lay against his chest,
pulling the blanket up over their sex-spoiled bodies from where it
had landed tangled about their ankles.

"Yes, well, then we're in
agreement that I find you anatomically pleasing, but there's much
more to love."

"I don't believe you,"
Severus blanketed. His tone seemed daring, as if he was insisting
that Remus prove it.

"You want to know when I
realized that I love you?" Remus asked. He continued before
Snape could answer. "It was the way you make tea," he
lied. It was just a fib, really--watching Severus make tea after
shagging had confirmed for Remus what he'd already suspected--that
his affection was already hopeless and irreversible. That was when
he'd gone from garden-variety love to all out struck-by-cupid love.

"What?" Severus asked as
if Remus had just said something completely ridiculous.

"Well, you know, you always
make that replenishing tea once we've finished. One day I was laying
there and I realized when you got the cups out that you always take
down the one on the left first, turn it on the saucer one full
rotation, and then take down the right and do the same. You always
steep it precisely, and stir each the exact same number of
times--nine and a half. And I realized that you add exactly three
drops of honey to mine to make it less bitter. Every time. You do
that even though I never told you I prefer my tea a bit sweet."
He kissed Snape softly. "And I realized that all this time, I'd
been watching you so carefully that I'd even counted how many times
you stir a cup of tea without having ever realized I'd done it. I
realized there were other things too--you always start combing your
hair with your fingers at the front right side--your right, not
mine--before you grab the comb, and when you pull out a quill you
stroke the spine with your left thumb. There were all these little
things I'd noticed about you when I thought we were just enjoying one
another's bodies. That's how I knew I loved you."

"Because you'd watched me
stir tea," Severus blanketed flatly.

"Because I realized how much
I would miss watching you stir tea if we were to go our separate
ways. Because watching you stir tea somehow had become so much more
relevant than how amazing you make me feel in bed. It's not so
different for you, you know," Remus pointed out. "You
realized you fear for me, more than you fear me. It's
actually not that dissimilar. I would miss you more than I'd
miss sex with you. ...of course, I don't deny I'd miss the
latter quite a bit," he commented idly.

"Remus, be silent,"
Severus sighed. "If you must have your mouth in constant
motion, then make some other use of it." He was sure the man
was purposely trying to embarrass him. 'And yet, this is the
person I've fallen for,' he thought. 'For better or worse.'
"Ahn! Remus!" Severus gasped and arched. Lost in
thought, he hadn't realized right away that his lover had disappeared
under the blankets.

"What?" Remus asked,
poking his head up from beneath the covers. "You said to make
better use of my mouth. We've got no food and no whiskey. What did
you expect I would do?"

Severus pulled him up into a kiss.
He knew eventually the lust would dim, the carnal pleasure between
them would begin to fade into long conversations and cuddling--and he
knew when that happened they would have to figure out exactly what
being in love with one another really meant beyond the immediate
desire to consume one another so completely that they were no longer
two separate people--but until then, he decided, there was no reason
not to enjoy himself.

He let his fingers gently trail
over Remus's gaunt cheek. "I love you, Remus," he said
softly, willing himself to get used to the way the words felt on his
tongue.

Remus put his hand over Snape's
and curled his cheek into the touch. "And I you, Severus. All
of you. Right down to..."

"...the way I stir tea, yes,
you've already said as much."

"I know. I was going to say
'right down to your sarcastic, bitter remarks' but you didn't let me
finish."

"Why don't you try finishing
one thing before starting another," Snape replied, eyes smirking
a bit.

"Oh, that's right, I nearly
forgot," Remus grinned. "You wanted me to do something
more productive with my tongue than talking."

He disappeared beneath the
blankets again.

...and the Shrieking Shack drowned
out their cries of ecstasy and confessions of love well into the
night.

~The End~
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