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The Way We Are	By : shespeaksofnothing Category: HP Canon Characters paired with Original Characters > Het - Male/Female Views: 2261 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, and I do not make a profit from this story.

Chapter List
- 3
- 4
The Way We Are

"To every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. The forces of two bodies upon each other are always equal and directed to contrary parts." Hatred, fear, love, and madness: such is the nature of the werewolf. The constant conflict between human and beast may break the foundations of the pack. If it is not torn apart by war, first.

Email: signofthecrab@aol.com

http://snowy_fiction.livejournal.com : My writing LJ which will be open to all, and if there is enough interest I will post updates, musings, and respond to reviews and things here. Also fanart from time to time. J

A/N: Hi there! Update time. I know everyone is excited (yeah right :D). Been trying to post this chapter for like 3 days. But its so long that I kept getting distracted in the proofreading stage, and also adding a lot of last minute stuff. I�m sort of running out of chapters (I have 9 prewritten that I am happy with, but a 10^th that needs to be completely redone. Also I am still desperately stuck), so I am going to post what I have slowly.
In this chapter we get to meet another OC, whom I am very fond of. Also a bit of angst, mush, and of course, a dirty, horny Fenrir. Just how I like my Fenrir. >:3
Thanks so much to people who rated and reviewed. Thank you for the kind words and the encouragement!

Baby I�m afraid of a lot of things

But I ain�t scared of loving you

Baby I know you�re afraid of a lot of things

But don't be scared of love

Cause people will say all kinds of things

That don't mean a damn to me

Cause all I see is what's in front of me

And that's you

Well, I�ve been dragged all over the place

I�ve taken hits time just don't erase

And baby I can see you've been fucked with too

But that don't mean your loving days are through

Cause people will say all kinds of things

That don't mean a damn to me

Cause all I see is what's in front of me

And that's you

Chapter 4

Annette woke up very slowly. The world blended with dreams until she could clearly hear the sound of birds outside of the window. They were annoying, obtrusive little beasts, chirping merrily in their way. She listened to their songs as she lay with her eyes closed, communicating with one another in ways that no other creature would understand, let alone a werewolf. Her ears strained to hear a woodpecker in the distance and the soft whisper of tree limbs swaying in the breeze. This place really was a wonder, so natural and wild, almost as though it completely ignored the presence of the dark creatures that resided in the forest.
A heavy hand rested around her middle and she felt the warmth of another body pressed against her back. Her mate slept soundly behind her. His fingers twitched against her stomach and he jerked his head, grunting, still in the fit of a dream. Fenrir wasn�t necessarily loud, he didn�t snore, it was more like a dog in a deep state of sleep. He often jerked and twitched, groaning and mumbling and growling. She was a pretty deep, sound sleeper, so she was rarely disturbed by his nightly escapades. It felt nice to wake up next to him for the first time in a few days, she hadn�t really realized she�d missed it. Her eyes drifted open slowly, squinting against the sunlight, casting around the dusty little shack that they visited once a month. They never transformed in the shack, always outside in the open air, but it had been used for the days before and the days after, giving the more human werewolf a safe place to sleep and keep dry. There were similar shacks scattered about the forest, each some distance away from one another for privacy�s sake.
At one time, Annette didn�t know how long ago, the shacks had made up a quiet little village of humans. They stayed deep in the forest, separating themselves from the busy world outside in pursuit of religious sanctity. Their way of life was primitive, but comfortable. They had shelters and cellars dug into the ground for food storage, a clean, pure water supply from the nearby lake, which was fed by a mountain stream. The people took everything they needed from nature, living in harmony with the world around them. As she�d heard the story from Ironhide, who had been with Greyback�s pack the longest, a few of them had come to this forest near the full moon, appealing to the residents for food and shelter and rest from their journey. The people of the village had welcomed them openly, �doing unto others� as was their way. They�d fed the wolves, sheltered them, and shared stories with them. The next night, when the full moon rose, the villagers were completely wiped out. Greyback had chosen this village beforehand, at the foot of a series of sheltering mountains far from any civilization, and moved his pack there when the humans were all disposed of. It had been a bid to protect his pack from the encroaching wizards and werewolf hunters, but to this day he seemed to feel no remorse about the lives he�d destroyed.
Annette turned slightly, glimpsing the werewolf as he slept, his mouth drawn downward in a deep frown. She thought for a moment about lazing about until he woke, but she was also eager to see Proudtail and talk with him. The redheaded werewolf had become her closest friend and often her confidant, though he was at least eight years younger than her. He was still a boy when she�d been brought into the pack. He�d been there for two years already, taken from his family after he received the bite. The boy had been a great asset to her during her first moon, comforting the older girl while she cried and fought with herself. As the years progressed, they grew very close. As he�d matured into a man he never lost his boyhood sense of adventure and nervous energy. The female was very grateful for him, and delighted in his playful antics and constant affection, which he shared with everyone, even Greyback. The alpha was plainly not as enamored with the young man�s behavior. He seemed to bully Proudtail like a pup, but only lightly when in Half-head�s presence. Despite his demeanor, Loki was a formidable wolf. He wasn�t ferocious and he wasn�t aggressive, yet he was high in the pack, the gamma, right beneath Ironhide and the alpha pair. If he hadn�t been, Greyback might not allow his pup-like behavior.
The she-wolf moved slowly out of the bed, slipping his hand off of her side, crossing between rooms to rummage through the rucksack still on the armchair. She managed to pull out an old grey tank top and slipped it on, rummaging next for panties and perhaps her old jeans. She heard a throat clear from the cot, and looked over her shoulder to see her mate sitting halfway up against the pillows, hands behind his head staring bleary eyed at her. The tank only came down to her hips, and she was still completely naked from the waist down. He raised an eyebrow at her current attire, or lack thereof, the bed sheets tented slightly around his lap. She wrinkled her nose and stuck her tongue out at him, and he returned the gesture, only it seemed much more grotesque when he tried it. Her hands finally found the articles of clothing she sought, pulling out a pair of cotton panties and stepping into them lightly, making sure to bend her waist just enough to give him a full on view of her round bottom. The jeans were next, they were as snug as her leather trousers, and she wiggled her hips (rather animatedly) as she tugged them upward. A smile crossed her face at the guttural growl from the other room. She found a rubber tie amongst her things and pulled her hair back into a haphazard ponytail, not bothering to cover most of her face. Annette turned to face her mate, leaning against the doorframe and crossing her arms, a smirk crept up her lips. The male had kicked the covers from himself, one hand still propping his head up against the pillow, the other was gripping his fully erect cock. His hand ran slowly over its length, his eyes glazed as they bore into hers. She raised an eyebrow.
�Planning on tossing off first thing in the morning?� her voice was light and playful, but she still shook her head and clucked her teeth.
A low growl erupted from the male and he bared his pointed teeth at her, �I was planning on you coming over here and sitting on my prick for a while, actually. This is all your fault, after all.�
Her expression never changed, though a warmth was beginning to spread across her body at the sight of him stroking his throbbing member. Oh God what the moon did to her. She shifted her weight from one leg to the other.
�I don�t know what you�re talking about, darling. I was just putting on my clothes. Seems like a nice day, so I fancied a walk.�
He growled again, louder this time, his grip tightening. She loved teasing him near the full moon. He was so insatiable as the days drew closer, and it wasn�t hard to wind him up. She figured it would be worth him being a little angry with her this morning if she teased him before she went out, hoping that when she returned there�d be no stopping him from pouncing her. She enjoyed this animal side of him, and she would be lying if she denied that the moon had a similar pull on her- she was just more contained about it. She stared straight into his eyes, watching them intently as they grew dark with lust.
�Why don�t you bring that sweet little arse over here and take your punishment?�
�And what am I being punished for, exactly?�
He gave another low growl, �You know what for.�
�Do I?� that delicate eyebrow quirked up again, and she couldn�t help a mischievous smirk.
�For being a dirty little tease. Now get over here and I might go easy on you. Unless you�d prefer a good spanking as well?�
She shook her head, trying to ignore the throb her crotch gave at the sound of his voice, �I�m already dressed-�
�Come here.�
�- might as well go out. Anyway, I�ll be back in a while -�
�Now.�
�-just behave yourself for a bit.� She smiled and turned to leave, he snarled viciously.
�Get back here, bitch.�
She froze. Her head turned slowly to look at him over her shoulder. His face was dark with anger, he�d stopped stroking himself, instead he looked like he would come off the bed any second and leap after her. The female cowered inwardly; he looked murderous. Her eyes locked with his and he snarled again, his threat unmistakable.
She was obviously stung by that word and the unnecessary violence behind it. She loathed it. He�d used it often when he�d first claimed her, when he treated her like a plaything. Later she�d made him promise not to use it, and he had. An heavy feeling settled into her stomach, seeing no trace of guilt in his face. She frowned, all manner of humor gone from her features as she tore her eyes away from his.
�Enjoy your wank!� The little werewolf turned and stormed out of the house, slamming its door with all of her force. Let him come after me, she growled to herself, I�ll flatten him. She knew she couldn�t possibly, but the thought made her feel better.
Her feet were bare as she stormed through the forest, they quickly grew cold and numb, but she kept going. Tensions are running high. After the ordeal last night and the Day coming� She shook her head furiously, that was no excuse. In truth, she felt a little silly being so concerned with a word, a word that had many meanings, but the lead weight still remained in her belly. It had been his tone, really, that had gotten to her. He had been so wonderful the night before, and now he was violently angry over a little teasing? What was his problem anyway? It was always this way. Whenever she felt she was on the verge of something with Greyback, he would turn around and do something to put her completely off of him.
She had approached Proudtail�s own little shack before she�d realized it. He was outside, chopping a few dry pieces of wood for the fire on a stone cutting block, which was more like a flattened river rock. The air was chilly but his chest was bare, his lithe muscles contracting as he lifted an axe and brought it down, splitting a piece of wood easily. He was much smaller than Greyback or Ironhide, with the build of a runner instead of that of a boxer, and shorter besides. He lifted his head when she drew closer, a large smile stretched across his face and he waved a hand in her direction. She waved back, feeling her tension seep away slightly. He jammed the axe firmly into the ground, and picked her up and hugged her tightly. She squealed as he spun her around and brought her down again, nuzzling and whimpering into her neck in a submissive greeting. When they let go he immediately pointed to her bare feet.
�Aren�t you cold?�
She shrugged one shoulder noncommittally, �Just fancied a walk this morning, guess I forgot to put my boots on.�
�Want to borrow mine? I managed to pick up an extra pair a few weeks ago in the village.�
She shook her head sweetly, ruffling his already shaggy hair, �How have things been since last moon?�
Loki looked concerned still, but didn�t resist the subject change, �Alright I s�pose. I�ve been popping into the Muggle villages now and again to read the papers and get supplies.� he paused, frowning slightly, �There�s been weird goings on out there. I think the Muggles know something is wrong, I hear them talking a lot, but of course all they can do is speculate. I still can�t believe that You-Know-Who is back.�
Half-head nodded, �And Greyback�s gone back to him.�
�Ah,� the young werewolf looked up at the sky through the canopy, thinking, �Well I guess we�ll be busy again, yeah? I mean, if Alpha is in league with them we are too.�
�That�s not true, Loki. You may be part of this pack but you�re free to make your own choices.�
He chuckled softly, putting a companionable arm around her shoulders, �Lets see Greyback hear you say that. Tea?�
�You�ve got tea?�
�Yep. Occasionally I manage to find something decent in the Muggle bins.�
She smiled, it seemed like forever since she�d had a cup. He guided her into his own little two room shack, leaving the door open. The fire was crackling warmly in the stone hearth, and he had a small cauldron over it, water already rising to steam within. His furniture wasn�t as sparse, he had managed to jam a threadbare settee against the wall opposite the fireplace with enough room for a small ottoman. His bedroom had the same kind of sparse, uncomfortable cot, but with more blankets and a thick comforter, against the far wall was an old utilitarian bookshelf, which held all of his possessions. Annette thought for a moment about how comfortable and welcoming it was, in its haphazard glory, compared to the space she shared with Fenrir. She then thought back to the cottage, never imagining she�d miss it so terribly. Spending once a month in this place was one thing, but...were they going to be living here now? Some members of the pack lived here all the time, she remembered, and felt a little guilty with herself for feeling nostalgic when this was a way of life for them. The young werewolf reached inside of a porcelain jar on his bookshelf, extracting two teabags. A handful of mismatched cups sat beside the jar.
�I�ve only got bags I�m afraid, its pretty weak.�
�Its Muggle-Bin-Tea. I�m not expecting much.�
Loki shot her a playful glare, �No fussing, or no tea for you.�
�Anything is fine. Its been a while since I�ve had tea. Muggle-Bin-Tea or no.� she chuckled.
He gave her a crooked grin, �Well its good for knocking out the cold anyway, Miss Walking-Around-Getting-Frostbite-But-Won�t-Tell-Her-Best-Mate-Why.�
�I told you, I just forgot to put my boots on.� She took a seat on the settee, folding her legs beside her.
�And my keen intuition tells me you left in a huff this morning, which is why you forgot your boots.� He gave her a knowing smile. He was often her confidant, the one she went to when she was feeling out of sorts. Of course she�d talked about Greyback to him before. But Loki had a annoyingly helpful talent for being able to root out her problem, and he was frank about it.
She rolled her eyes and crossed her arms, blowing out a harsh breath, �He�s just a bloody meat-head, you know that already.�
He shrugged, still smiling softly as he fiddled with the tea bags. �Couldn�t be the boss if he wasn�t.�
Annette shook her head and was silent for a few moments, staring off into the fire.
�So do you not want to talk about it?� he pressed gently.
�I just�don�t really know what to say. I�m not really sure its his fault�well, it is his fault but I think its mine too.�
The young male handed her a chipped cup, already filled, complete with tea bag. She thanked him and swirled the liquid around absently before taking a sip. It was quite good, though it was weak. He sat down on the ottoman facing her.
�So your big hairy Romeo still won�t wake up and smell the daisies?� She cast a glare at him, and he snorted into his teacup. �Joking! Only joking.� he sobered before taking another sip and looking at the female directly, �He�s got a pretty thick skull, but I think he knows how you feel. I mean how longs it been? Fifteen years? Guy usually gets a clue by then.�
She shook her head again. �Longer, actually, but it hasn�t always been like this, if you remember. It took a long time for me to accept�certain aspects. So I�d say in this situation its kind of�erm�different.�
�In what way?�
�Well,� she rested her cup on her knees, wrapping her fingers around it for warmth, �I mean�how many successful relationships do you think start with�you know. Killing, kidnapping, and all that?�
�Ah.� Loki smiled sheepishly. �Well, first time for everything?�
�I just wish I didn�t feel so foolish about it. I feel like a little schoolgirl with a crush, or�I don�t know, like I�m expecting too much from him. I feel like I�ve tricked myself into it�or he�s tricked me into it. I�m not exactly sure what it feels like, really. Its just awkward and�well, there you have it.�
�We can�t help who we fall in love with, Anne.� he gave her a sympathetic look. Though sheltered for most of his life, he knew the reality of that statement all too well.
�That word�its just so frightening. When I hear it I think of� well things that are exactly the opposite of him. Like�candy hearts and sappy songs and frilly pink things.�
Loki snorted into his tea again, no doubt envisioning the two werewolves smiling dazed and happy, surrounded by a floating string of pink and red hearts and seraphim. �Blimey, Anne, you�re a sick, sick woman.�
�What? Why?�
�You just paint a rather colorful picture, that�s all. You know that isn�t what love is about, sometimes it can be a lot more�� he struggled to find the words, ��instinctual? Basic? Almost like lust, but not quite.�
�How can you tell the�? Wait,� she narrowed her eyes at him, �Who made you the expert on love?�
He chuckled, rubbing the back of his neck nervously. �Well, its�you know. I guess I�ve read too many romance novels?�
The female sighed heavily and rolled her eyes, but a smile broke out across her features anyway. �Well I guess they would know, wouldn�t they? Knights on white horses and damsels in distress and whatnot. Makes more sense than a bunch of bloody werewolves sitting around talking about their feelings.�
�We�re people too�.just furrier people at the moon. And anyway, I think you and I are the only two that talk about any feelings. Everyone else is too busy being a bunch of bloody werewolves to have any. Can you imagine old Iron-Chin?� Loki straightened his posture, crossed his arms over his chest, and set his face in a cold, stoic glare. He bore a remarkable similarity to Anubis. With a growl he imitated the beta werewolf�s deep, monotone speech to the best of his ability, though his voice was several octaves higher, �I am filled with much joy. I think I may skip. Yay.�
The two descended into barely contained giggling, nearly sending their teacups to the floor. When they sobered, a companionable silence descended over them for several minutes.
�I�m just a woman. I mean, with the silly feelings and all that. Seems like its in my nature most of the time.�
�You know as well as I do that sometimes there are things in our nature we just can�t help.� He reached out a hand and put it on her knee, �Are you unhappy?�
She thought for a moment, still staring into the fire, �No�well yes. Well, no. I..I think its both.� He wrinkled his nose at her, she elaborated, �Sometimes yes and sometimes no. Sometimes I feel like everything just fits, despite every odd thing about my situation. Sometimes, like today�I still feel like�its gone back to square one and I�m sixteen again.�
Loki nodded solemnly, he knew the story all too well.
�I guess�.I guess I just want to know for sure, either way, so I can stop second guessing everything. I don�t want to hang onto something that isn�t there.� she said quietly, gazing into her teacup. The young male said nothing, watching her face as it seemed to shift through a range of emotions. Silently he wished there was something he could say to reassure her, or that he could reach out and comfort her, but he knew there was no way he could make things right.
She looked up at him, green eyes locking with pale blue ones, �Do you still think about it? The bite?�
He sighed, his shoulders slumping, �Yes�I mean, how can I not? I still think about my parents all the time too, wondering how they�re getting along, if they still think about me. It still hurts, but�why should I let it get to me? They�re still alive as far as I know, and I hope they�re happy. That�s all I can ask, really. I�m still here and I�ve got you. Since Firetail�s been gone its been a bit rough, but I get by.�
Annette placed a hand on his, which was still on her knee. Firetail was Proudtail�s older brother. They�d both been taken from their family at the same time. A wave of guilt passed over the female; she had all but forgotten that her friend had lost his only brother - the only family he still had - a mere month ago. She�d been too wrapped up in her own drama with Fenrir to ask how he was getting along.
�Oh Loki, I�m so sorry.�
�No, don�t be.� the young male sighed, twining his fingers with hers, �He�s probably much happier now. You know Tyr always had a harder time accepting things. Maybe because he was older when it happened.�
Annette felt a lump grow in her throat at his words, but she refused to let it overcome her. She had no right to cry when Loki was putting on such a brave face. �I wish we could have stopped it��
�I know, but like I said, he�s probably happier now. You can�t go through life hating who you are, it just doesn�t work. So some werewolf hunter made a few galleons off him, because he didn�t have the will to stay alive.�
�They�re dangerous, Proudtail, you mustn�t underestimate them.�
�I don�t. But if I see that man again I will rip his throat out. Tyr deserves that much.� his eyes darkened.
She nodded, �I�ll help you, on any of them.�
Loki gave her knee an affectionate pat, turning away from her toward the fire, sitting with his back against her legs. She combed her fingers through his disheveled hair, making him practically croon with delight. They stayed together for a long time, making small talk and generally enjoying the company until it was afternoon and another young subordinate male, Fleetfoot, came to fetch Proudtail for a hunting partner. They said their goodbyes and Half-head wandered through the forest, not eager to return to her own home. Everyone seemed to be away from the den still, or out gathering food. It had been a long time since she�d been here this early in the month, and was a little disturbed at how quiet things were. Houses still stood empty, the bulk of the pack had not come for the moon gathering yet. Most of the pack was scattered, and only came together for the full moon. They wanted their privacy in most cases, having grown used to being alone for the rest of the month. So they left each other to their space, until the moon rose, and they would all be brothers again.
The afternoon was a bit warmer, but her bare feet were still numb. She felt dirty, wishing she�d thought to have a shower before being whisked away. Thinking of the lake, she changed direction, taking a path that would circumvent her own house, which was closest to it. The female made a game of naming the number of animals she could smell as she walked. She stopped occasionally to eat a few berries here and there, as she�d skipped breakfast.
As a hunter, she was nearly useless in human form. She was small and though her body was lithe and quick, she wasn�t able to run down any wild animals, save for a few rabbits or other small creatures. As a wolf, she was essential to the hunt. Her size made her fast and nimble, and she was able to leap onto the backs of larger prey and hold them until their necks could be snapped. A larger wolf was often the one to deal the killing bite, but she was needed to distract the raging prey animal so the bigger, slower wolf could get close enough.
The lake seemed eerily deserted. Usually a few would gather around it and fish or bathe. She decided to move further upstream, to a nice little place she�d discovered long ago. Her hips ached slightly, and she thought back to the previous night�s activities as she stumbled up the slope of the mountain in bare feet. When she reached the mountain stream, she looked around, taking in the beauty of the place. There was a small, shallow pool, fed by a narrow seven foot fall. It was lazy, rather than chaotic, and the falls only swirled the water, sending it further down stream, instead of churning it violently. The bank was littered with smooth, flat rocks, and the bottom of the pool itself was all pebble. She stripped off her clothing, folding every article neatly and hanging them over a low tree limb away from the spray of water. The female tested it with a numb foot, pulling it back quickly at the sharp sting of cold water. It might have been easier to ease into it, and gradually grow used to the feeling, but instead Annette threw herself headlong into the deepest part of the pool, coming up gasping in shock. She shivered violently, standing up in the waist-deep water. The female trudged over to the fall, letting it cascade over her head and hair, and soon she grew used to the cold. Though she didn�t have any soap, she scrubbed her body quickly, trying to warm herself and loosen a bit of grime from her skin. When she finished, she trudged back to the shore, wringing her hair out with her hands as she went. Now all she wanted to do was sit in front of the fire and dry off, angry Alpha male or no. She felt refreshed and perhaps a little braver, so she dressed a little more quickly and started off toward the shack.
When Half-head neared her home, she could see smoke already rising from the crumbling little chimney. An anxious feeling gripped her - he must still be in there. Lifting her chin and setting her jaw, the female marched up the two stone steps to the door, flinging it open and looking inside. It was empty. She sighed heavily, letting her shoulders droop. He mustn�t have been gone for long, the fire was still crackling. Giving the shack the once over, she went to pick up the clothes strewn over the floor and furniture, folding them absently and stuffing them into the rucksack. She wondered for a moment if she should unpack it, separate their clothes and drag out some books to put on the mantel, try to make the place feel more settled and like home. Idly she thought she�d have to ask Proudtail to take her into the village, though she knew full well her mate wouldn�t allow it. There might be a second hand bookshop, or at least a library, perhaps a grocery, and a tea shop would be exquisite�
The petite werewolf let herself daydream as she pulled an ancient book from the sack and settled into the armchair, warming her feet next to the hearth. It was late afternoon now, and the world outside remained quiet. She found herself reading until the sun started to set and the sound of footsteps trudging through the underbrush made her ears perk up. She knew that gait, and sighed inwardly to herself, keeping her eyes trained on her book when the door banged open and Greyback entered. He paused when he saw her, but said nothing, and clomped past her into the bedroom, sitting down on the cot and pulling his boots off. There was no more sound from behind her, except for the occasional protest of the cot springs. She thought he must just be sitting there, staring at the back of her head. She reread the same sentence for the next ten minutes. That was the trouble with this place, there wasn�t much to occupy yourself with when you were ignoring and being ignored. The silence was a little unsettling, there weren�t many times when it had stretched on this far without a snide remark or someone�s fist hitting a wall. The female sighed, closing her book smartly - reading was pretty much out of the question now. The silence was too much, her concentration was broken. Her fingers went up to her temples without her telling them to, massaging in slow circles. Without a word she rose from the armchair, opening the heavy door and taking a seat on the bottom step.
From the front of the shack the trees parted into a clearing, revealing the valley in which the big lake was visible, though it was still a good distance away. The sun was steadily disappearing, the shadow of a fat moon loomed in the distance. It was growing considerably colder without the sun to warm the earth, and she rubbed her arms as goose bumps rose on her skin. The freedom of being outside helped take her mind off of him. She could tell that most of the werewolves had returned to the area from their daily hunting. She could smell burning firewood and roasting meat in the distance. The day animals had retired, and the creatures of the night were emerging from their hiding places. The rising moon pulled at her bones, a dull ache that was ever present and increasing as the month wore on.
Lost in her thoughts, she nearly jumped out of her skin when the weight of a heavy leather coat fell over her shoulders. She looked up, her mate was standing over her on the top step looking down, his face lined with a deep frown. Her eyes turned away from his, pulling the coat tight around her shoulders - it nearly swallowed her. She heard him move to sit on the top step behind her, his knees on either side of her. His feet were bare as well, but she remembered he never seemed to be bothered by the cold. The sun had completely disappeared and the sky grew dark, illuminated only by the moon. The proximity of his body warmed her back, and without thinking she leaned into it, her head on his chest. His hands came around to rest awkwardly on her shoulders, squeezing them gently, he didn�t seem to want to touch her much more than that. Her head rose and fell with his steady breathing and they didn�t speak for a long time, both mulling over the bright nocturnal sky. An owl swooped silently over the two of them, crossing through both lines of sight and off in the direction of the valley below. Fenrir�s hands drifted down her arms lightly, dropping off as he rested his elbows on his knees. She rose along with his chest when he took in a deep breath, only to blow it out in a sigh.
�I�m sorry.� he grunted irritably.
Annette looked up at him in surprise, his eyes were closed and his face was twisted in a pained expression. She was dumbstruck by this sudden exclamation. True, unveiled apologies from Fenrir were like precious stones; rough, difficult to unearth, but highly valued and coveted. It took away from the gesture that he looked as if he�d been stabbed in the gut, obviously it pained him to say it. That made her a little angry. She didn�t quite know how to react. She wanted to punch him, that was her first impulse, but then she also felt like holding him. Damn female brain.
Instead, she took the low road, �Was it a good wank, at least?� She felt his stomach muscles tighten at her back. Apparently she�d thrown him off just as much, as he didn�t respond right away.
�I didn�t��
�Of course you didn�t. Don�t have to, do you?� She said coolly.
�Annette..�
�Got a nice warm place to dip in, whenever you feel like it, regardless of whether I do or not.� Her anger seemed to be controlling her mouth, pent-up frustration coming to a sudden head.
He growled now, and his chest vibrated against her spine. �I apologized�what more do you want?� His voice was slow and through gritted teeth.
She leaned forward, pulling her knees up to her chest, wrapping the coat around them as well. Her toes felt numb again. �I want�� She trailed off, sighing to herself in disgust. You can�t say that, idiot. ��I just want�ugh, never mind.� She launched herself from the step, but he caught her deftly by the wrist.
�Don�t walk away from me like that again!� he barked.
�Why do you care? Or do you even care?�
Fenrir blinked, �What?�
She glared at him for a moment. She hadn�t meant to say the last part, but there it was, out in the open now. There had to be something she could say to cover for it. The knot in her chest was tightening again, but she wasn�t ready to confront him. She didn�t think she�d ever be ready. �Just�forget it.�
The werewolf didn�t let go of her, though. He was getting agitated again, �Can�t you just say what you mean instead of playing mind games?�
�Can�t you? You seem to be the king of it.�
�What are you playing at?�
She tried to wrench her arm away, but he held it tighter. The delicate bones screamed in protest, but she didn�t let it show. �You broke your promise!�
�What promise?�
�You said you�d never call me that again! You said you didn�t think that way about me anymore!�
�I don�t!�
�What way do you think of me, then?� There it went again. Annette made a mental note to curse her lips together next time, since obviously her fool brain couldn�t control them.
He was quiet and seemed to be searching her angry face, grasping at some kind of comprehension that he might be missing. Was she really asking him this? After all these years, all he�d done?
�Don�t be thick, you know what I think of you.�
�Well if this morning is any indication, I�d say I�m not much more than a very useful source of heat for your bed and your d-�
�Can�t you tell I�m completely bewitched by you?� He yelled it, stunning her to silence as his voice echoed into the quiet night. Another uncomfortable silence stretched between them. He let go of her, shaking his head in disgust and turning away, but this time she caught him by the arm.
�Please�� Her voice was quiet, trembling. Her stomach was doing summersaults again and she thought she might be sick. Fenrir didn�t try to free himself from her grasp. �Does it really pain you so?�
�Don�t you understand, Annette? That�s why we�re in this situation now. Because I�.because you�ve ruined me. You�ve made me weak.�
�What are you talking about?�
The werewolf sighed, his shoulders slumping as if in defeat, �The Dark Lord knows that you�re valuable to me. He knows he can use you to manipulate me. That�s why we have to hide.�
�Fenrir��
He turned to look over his shoulder. His eyes didn�t meet hers, �I can�t resist you. You�re always on my mind, I want to be near you all the time,� Annette felt tears sting behind her eyes and her heart pounded mutinously against her ribcage. This moment didn�t seem real, she felt like she was in a daze. �You�ve changed me somehow. I don�t know how to stop it, I don�t understand it. Everyone can see it, no matter how hard I try to fight it down. Why can�t you?�
She shook her head sadly, letting go of his arm. �Because I don�t know if I really believe it, myself.�
�What do I have to do? What more do I have to do to prove it to you?�
�Just�say it. I don�t care if its true or not. Just tell me and I�ll believe you. I want to believe you. I�ve wanted to for so long, I�� The tears broke through the barricades of her pride without warning, spilling hot down her cold cheeks. She was ashamed of them, ashamed of herself for asking this of the werewolf. ��I�m in love with you.�
The female found herself pulled off of her feet and set back down on the top step. He�d swept her up into a tight embrace. It almost squeezed the breath out of her in its ferocity.
�Stop it.� His voice was harsh.
Instead, she let the tears fall and buried her head in his chest. Her small back shook against his crushing grip. The werewolf let this go on for a while, until she calmed and pulled away slowly. Her face was red, her eyes were puffy and her cheeks were wet. He shushed her when she sniffled, lifting her chin with his thumb and forefinger. �Don�t cry anymore.� he�d said it as a command, but she could tell he meant something more comforting. She nodded, wiping her cheeks with the back of her hand and looking away from him.
He held her for a while, not knowing what to say next, aside from the obvious. Greyback was actually at a loss. His sudden rush of emotion from her, a rush of emotions from himself, he was feeling blindsided. He was a little disgusted at the situation, why was she making him do this? Did she really have to make him say it? Couldn�t she just�feel it? Why was she the only one not in on their apparently very public secret? And when did she suddenly start crying so much?
�Do you honestly think I just wanted you as�.for that? After all this time?�
She looked up at him, her eyes were fierce, though they were still damp, �You haven�t exactly given me a reason to believe otherwise!�
�What should I have done? Shouted it from the mountaintops? Got down on one knee?�
�It�it would have been nice to hear it.� she said weakly.
�What about all I�ve done? Does that mean nothing?�
�Its not that�just�sometimes its�I don�t know if you�d understand��
�Try me.�
The little female looked up at him, her eyes narrowed, but there was no real anger behind them, �I�m not like you, Fenrir. The wolf understands. But when I�m human�sometimes I just need to hear it, plainly. In a human way.�
He leaned down, putting his hands on her shoulders and looking her in the eye. �Then hear it now and understand,� his stomach knotted, he felt sick, �I love you, Annette. I have for a long time, and don�t doubt me when I say that. I will tell you as often as you want, in whatever way you want, for as long as you want to hear it.�
The knot was back, as well as the churning of her stomach and a slight buzzing in her brain. The words fell like heavy stones in a still pond, violently rippling through her ears. Did he want her to say it back now? Could she? For all the fuss she�d made, she wasn�t sure if she had it in her. She didn�t have to deliberate much longer, because at that moment he pressed his lips to hers, kissing her roughly and with some new, unbridled ferocity. For all the times they�d kissed, their bodies seemed to respond differently this time. Something had broken between them, some invisible barrier that was holding them both back. The kiss broke softly, he didn�t want to let go but he wanted to prove his words, really make her believe. He felt very unlike Fenrir Greyback at this moment, and they both needed reminding of just who he was. The female found herself lifted off of her feet, carried in his expansive arms across the threshold. He kicked the door closed behind him, never taking his eyes from hers, and strode between rooms to lay her down gently on the bed. He settled down, leaning over her with his hands on the mattress.
Annette was panicking. There was something wrong with this moment. It was too comfortable, too gentle. Time and experience told her that it couldn�t be true, that there had to be some counterbalance for the simple, trembling joy she felt at his confession. It was always that way with them, and she wondered where the blow would come from. Would he change his mind in the morning? Was he flat out lying? When the heady feeling those three words gave her cleared, would she change her mind? It had been a full minute since she�d spoken, was he going to force her to say them back? Anticipation thrilled down her spine. No, she wanted to say them. She had to. If she held back any longer she would burst.
�Fenrir�� she found herself hesitating, her heart punched frantically and she was trembling, � I love you.�
He nodded, gazing into her eyes. �I already know,� he said slowly, �I don�t need words to know. Your body tells me everything. Your eyes, your lips, even the way you wrap around me when I�m inside of you��
The little female shivered at his words, pulling him down for a longer kiss. The monster, the beast inside his body was screaming for more, as it often did. It was too close to the moon for this kind of tenderness. It raged at him and pushed against his skull, demanding completion. It was hard to resist as it scratched and howled and bit at his control, only to be pushed back again and again by the small presence of a man. The man who fought for control when he looked into her eyes. It was the man who always drove his emotions and steadied his hands to be gentle when he touched her. The human part had taken a firm hold in his subconscious, years ago, when he realized how he felt, that he could feel this way. The wolf always tried to dislodge it; it was weakness, it was vulnerability, he wanted to devour that side in sake of preservation, to be strong and whole again as he once was. But the wolf always failed.
Fenrir pulled back from the kiss, touching her with warm hands. �Let me show you.� She nodded mutely, wrapping her arms around his neck and closing her eyes. The knot had loosened in her chest and her stomach settled, the feelings being replaced by a sense of satisfaction as they moved in tandem in the darkness.
***
The next morning, he hadn�t changed his mind. Fenrir woke up early, clutching the little she-wolf to him desperately, like a lifeline, watching her sleep. He was apprehensive, for the first time in a very long time he was unsure of himself. Surely she�d wake up horrified at last night�s revelation. She�d look at him and be repulsed, as she once was, and he�d have to�.well he wasn�t sure what he�d do. He didn�t really seem sure about anything anymore. Didn�t love always change things? How had everything been so simple before last night? Yes, he had loved her for a long time, but now he�d said it. And she�d said it. Did he really believe it? He shook his head slightly, of course he believed it. It had come so easily last night, why did he feel like vomiting now? Why did she bring these kinds of things to the surface for him? Bloody birds, always messing about with your brain.

The werewolf thought about getting out of bed, of busying himself with preparing for the moon to take his mind off of things. He could track an elk, check the charms on the cellars, or chop down the whole goddamn forest for firewood. In truth, he ached for the moon. He needed release. Too many things were happening at once.
He�d spent much time thinking about having to deal with his old political affiliations. Having to babysit those bickering, incessantly intolerable Death Eaters again. Threaten this person, flash your mark at that person, and so on. It really was nauseating to the werewolf. From what he could figure there wasn�t much action in their line so much as unnecessary posturing and brow-beating. It was more of the same. And as far as he could tell his only use was as a sort of rabid dog, which they threatened to unmuzzle when wizards weren�t being compliant to their methods. It was frustrating and humiliating at once. Greyback wanted to spill blood, not to be someone�s great ugly attack dog.
Then there was the pack itself. An uneasiness was rising through the ranks. Ironhide had informed him the day earlier that a few members had slipped off and disappeared, or were starting fights among the lower ranking werewolves. They sensed their Alpha was distracted. Some of the males were becoming a nuisance. They strutted about now that it was known Greyback was in allegiance with Voldemort, flapping their jaws about false secrets and being tight on the inside to build up their reputations. They were upsetting the balance of things, jeopardizing the safety of the pack. But mostly they were making Greyback look as though he were rumor mongering, and it made him look bad. He would have to put a stop to it this moon, put the insubordinates in their place or get rid of them for good.
Of course, there was also last night. Things that shouldn�t need saying, unnecessary words and crying. There was also love-making until dawn, though.

Really, old wolf? Love-making?
He was starting to wonder if he had in fact gone soft. Everything lately told him he was losing his grip. The moon would be a welcome friend. He could release his frustrations, howl, hunt, and run until his heart felt it would burst. There would be revelry and blood, and most importantly, feeding. Not true feeding, as werewolves were meant to, but they�d bring down something for sure. His pack was strong.
The little female stirred against him, stretching one arm above her head and scrubbing sleep from her eyes with another. Fenrir made a soft sound in her ear, nuzzling against her cheek as she woke. She smiled drowsily, stroking the arm around her waist with cool fingers. It was chilly this morning, the winter months barreling down on them already, it had seemed like July just a few weeks ago. Snow would be settling over the forest soon, and chimneys would stay lit, and every werewolf would be glad of their comfortable little space. Annette shivered, he pulled her close and chuckled as he continued to nuzzle her lovingly.
�Always chilly,� he said affectionately �I think you�d freeze in the Sahara, love.�
�Well this is definetly not the bloody Sahara. We need some more blankets or I will freeze.� she said, yanking the thin sheets around them to her chin and snuggling further into him.
�We�ll just have to get you fattened up for winter.� the werewolf smiled against her ear, slapping her rump for emphasis.
She turned and glared at him through narrowed eyes, �I do not want to be fattened up. I don�t trust you lot not to eat me if times get thin. Anyway, easy to say for a man with over an inch of fur all over his body year round.� she teased.
He laughed openly, �You didn�t seem to mind me eating you very much last night, darling. And I do not have over an inch and it isn�t all over. Its just the right amount in the right places. I�d say its rather brutish and sexy, wouldn�t you?�
She rolled her eyes but couldn�t help a smile, �Well brutish perhaps but sexy might be a stretch.�
He turned her over on her side to face him, pressing her into his chest, �Oh, really now? Is that why you�re always running your hands through it when we make love? Because its so very not sexy?�
She smirked, making a mental note of how �fuck� had become �make love� overnight, running her hands over his chest in reference to his question, �That�s it exactly.�
He leaned in at once and they shared a long kiss, and she practically purred against his mouth. She wasn�t sure if all of this affection was a new revelation as well, or if it was merely in her head. Coincidentally, he was wondering the same thing. The kisses trailed down her neck and over her chest, and she kissed up his forehead as he descended.
�I do love you, you know.� he murmured against her belly, giving it a playful nip. Would he ever stop feeling like being sick with nerves when he said that to her?
�I do now.�
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The Way We Are