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Wands and Wheezes	By : auntlynnie Category: Harry Potter > Threesomes/Moresomes Views: 40170 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 2
Disclaimer: Anti-Litigation Charm: Sadly, I don't own any part of the Harry Potter franchise. Nor do I own any canon characters, locations, or situations. I make no money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
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The three friends of Diagon Alley settled in to something of a routine. Hermione and the Weasley twins would have brunch every Saturday at ten in the morning, and the men would go visit their parents every Sunday for dinner.
When Hermione had free time, she would further dissect the broom she had bought to see how the charms were woven into the construct of the materials and consider what other charms could be added without interfering with the existing magic. It was an incredibly complex puzzle that kept her imagination and creativity sparking. It seemed that there was a method to the order in which the charms were applied to the broom, and if she were to weave in additional charms, she would have to consider the order in which she would do so, so as to benefit from the added protections but not hamper the performance of the broom. It was an entirely new challenge just begging to be conquered, and she found herself thinking about it almost constantly.
"Ugh! Honestly!" Hermione said out loud to herself, crossly, hurling the broom across the workshop, stomping her foot. "Bloody Sod's Law! Why is it that I can get so close to getting the Runes right on this blasted broom, and then, as soon as I think I'm almost done, it goes Pete Tong." As soon as she uttered it, Hermione giggled at the Cockney slang. It was such a silly expression, it snapped her right out of her bad mood. She rolled her shoulders and rubbed her neck.
Now that she had decompressed slightly, she regretted her abuse of her pet project. 'Perhaps it's time to put the broom up for the day before I destroy it. It's not as if I have a deadline or anything.' Wincing, she went over to the broom to see if her fit of pique had done any lasting damage.
'At least I was able to figure out how to apply the charms,' she muttered. 'Maybe I should do some Charms work, instead. At least those are less tricky than Runes.'
Settling back down at her work station, Hermione started experimenting with imbedding a passworded Disillusionment charm as she constructed a new wand holster that would fit to her forearm. When it was complete, she compared the new holster to her old Disillusioned thigh holster, which she had purchased and later applied the charm. To her delight, when she said the password to her newly-charmed holster, the Disillusionment charm was much more effective than it was on her old holster. She couldn't detect the tell-tale shimmer she had expected to see at all. Not only was the holster invisible, her wand was, as well.
'This is amazing! Now, when I go out, I don't have to wear a thigh holster. I'm sure there are plenty of witches who would appreciate the convenience of having their wand on their arm instead of having to use a thigh holster. It might not be as sexy, but it's certainly more practical.' No more strapping her wand to her thigh under her dress robes sounded like a brilliant idea.
It was difficult to hide her experiments from the twins, as they spent a good deal of their free time in each other's shops and homes. While Hermione was excited about her project, she didn't want to show anyone until it was complete so that she wouldn't feel any additional pressure to publish a success story. Therefore, she had to be careful that the twins didn't discover her project. This involved a very strict program of redirection.
This particular Saturday, Hermione was in her shop, doing some bookkeeping while she waited for the twins to arrive. Since it was a lovely day, they had decided to walk over from their flat. Hermione's attention was deeply focussed on the ledger in front of her when she heard the knocking at the front door. She looked up and saw her two friends waiting to enter, and with a wave of her hand, the door was unlocked and opened for them.
"Merlin's lacy purple knickers, Granger, wandless magic?"
Hermione waved her hand dismissively. "Well, it is how I make wands, Fred. It's not such a big deal."
"If you say so..."
"Oh, just come in, already!"
The two men made their way through the shop, past the many shelves of boxed wands, waiting to claim their witches and wizards. When they arrived at the counter, Hermione got up and gave each man a quick hug. "Good morning! Happy Saturday!"
They made their way around the counter to walk through the workshop where Hermione created all her wands and where she secretly worked on her broom. Two workbenches ran along each side of the room. The workbench on the right was dedicated to wands, with core materials neatly organized and bundles of wandwood ready to be formed. The bench on the left was dedicated to her broom. She created a second work surface for this bench, and when she wasn't actively working on the broom, she would cover the whole project with the dummy surface. This way, she didn't have to put the broom away each time she was finished working on it; she only had to cover it with the decoy. While it wasn't the most elegant solution in the world, it worked quite effectively, even with the Weasley twins.
The rear wall of the workshop held a door that concealed the stairs to her private quarters. This door was heavily warded at all times, so Hermione didn't have to worry about anyone trying to enter her quarters while she was busy attending a customer. To one side of the door was what looked like a miniature fireplace at about chest level. This was something Hermione had installed after she had taken over the shop. Fred and George were very intrigued by it from the first time they saw it.
"Hermione, that teeny tiny fireplace can't possibly give off any heat. Why would you bother with it?"
She smiled in reply. "Fred, the purpose of that fireplace isn't for warmth. This building has very adequate heating and cooling charms applied to it. No, that fireplace is strictly for communication. My primary fireplace for Flooing is located directly upstairs, but I didn't have enough room in the shop for a full-sized fireplace. So, I extended the connection downstairs to a miniature fireplace. Now I can take Floo calls right here in the shop without having to go upstairs, but I never have to worry about unwelcome guests trying to access my shop."
"Why hasn't anyone else ever thought of this?"
"Probably because the pure-bloods never dreamed of the convenience of a device created strictly for communication but not transportation. I have a fully functioning Floo right upstairs, so I didn't need another one down here. And, as a Muggle-born, I grew up with a telephone in the house, and my mini-Floo essentially functions as a telephone, although the mechanics are quite different. If anything, I appreciate not having to kneel down on the hearth to make or take my calls while I'm in the shop. It certainly saves my knees."
At this, Hermione thought she heard George make a soft whinge - but dismissed it. She knew that the longer the twins remained in her shop, the more likely they would be to notice something amiss about her second workbench, so she decided to redirect their attention again. She realized that she was constantly doing that. "Come on, you two. Let's get moving. There's no big difference between my mini-Floo and every other Floo in Britain except for its size, and I want to get to the club before it's too crowded."
"All right, Hermione. Where are we going?"
Hermione rolled her eyes, "Fred, you know we're going to Seamus' new club, Finnigan's. We've only planned this for the past week. Everyone's meeting us there."
Fred smirked, "Yes, but I love it when you get all frustrated with me and take on that lovely swotty tone."
"Fred!"
"What? I do! So does Georgie. It reminds us of when you were an ickle fifth-year prefect, protecting all and sundry from our nefarious Skiving Snackboxes. You were so fiery when you felt we were trying to thwart you." His eyes were fairly shining with mirth as he baited her.
"Well, first years didn't really know what they were getting into, especially Muggle-born students. Someone had to protect them from themselves and you lot. Really! Between the two of you and Lee Jordan, it was a full-time job!"
"Ah, yes, there's the tone. Remember it, Georgie?"
Hermione narrowed her eyes at Fred and turned her gaze at George just in time to see him bite his lip ever so slightly. She blinked, and when she looked at him again, there was nothing amiss.
"Oh, yes, I remember, Freddie. It was always so much fun to bait you, Granger. But as you say, our party awaits. Shall we?" He offered Hermione his arm, which she took, happy to be getting out of her workshop. Fred came around on her other side and offered her his arm, as well.
The three made their way to the club arm-in-arm-in-arm. They entered and moved over to the section that Harry had reserved. Most of their friends were there - Harry, Ginny, Ron, Neville, Dean, Lee Jordan, Luna, Hannah Abbot, Susan Bones, Terry Boot, Ernie Macmillan, who had become considerably less pompous, now that they were out of school - Lavender Brown, Michael Corner, Justin Finch-Fletchley, Anthony Goldstein, Padma and Parvati Patil, Angelina Johnson, and Alicia Spinnet. It was like an unofficial mini-reunion of Dumbledore's Army. Seamus was also there, but he was working the room, being a gracious host to all his patrons.
The music that was playing was decidedly Muggle, and the pure-bloods and half-bloods were unfamiliar with it. Hermione and Dean caught each other's eyes and smirked. In a moment, the two Muggle-born friends were on the dance floor, dancing in ways the friends had never expected from Hermione Granger.
"Holy shit, Ernie! When did Granger get sexy?" Terry exclaimed.
Ernie couldn't respond, nor could he tear his eyes off the dancing girl. He was able to keep from gaping, but just barely, as were most of the young men in their group.
Ginny laughed. "You didn't know Hermione could dance? Every vacation from school, she and her Muggle friends would go clubbing. She brought me along a few times, but I was never really able to dance to their music. Don't you remember the Yule Ball, during the Triwizard Tournament? She didn't sit down all night, and that was to stodgy old school-approved Wizarding music, and it certainly wasn't because Krum was so graceful and light on his feet. He was always better on a broom than anywhere else."
The young single men of the group watched Hermione and Dean enjoy their dance... and when the next song came on, the two smiled at each other, adjusted to the new beat, and kept dancing. The moves the couple were making on the dance floor were anything but stodgy. Hips were gyrating, shoulders shaking, and there was nothing about Hermione's dancing that made anyone think the word 'bookworm'.
"Fred..."
"Yeah, George?"
"I think I want to ruin my friendship with Granger."
"I'm not surprised, mate. You've been taking every excuse to spend time with her, and it has been years since she and Ronniekins broke up. She's clearly over him."
"Did you see her tattoo, Fred?"
"Tattoo, you say?"
George groaned. "Yeah. Blimey, Fred. It's right on her hip. I only caught a glimpse of it earlier, but I'm dying to see it up close and personal. And just look at her dancing out there. She's having the time of her life. She's changed so much since we left school. I know we love to tease her about being prim and proper, but she really isn't anymore, is she? She's all grown up, and has really learned how to live. It's driving me crazy."
"Cor, George, you've got it bad, don't you? You need to do something."
George tore his eyes away from the girl dancing not twenty feet from him. "I know, but... I really don't want to ruin our friendship. Ron got really lucky - he screwed things up badly, but was just barely able to scrape out of it with a friendship intact, and it took a long time to mend that fence. We've spent the past few years building a friendship with Hermione, and it would break my heart to lose it."
"Georgie, you know what kind of girl Hermione is, don't you?"
"Well, she's a lot of things to a lot of people. If you only include people who really know her personally, and skip over the brilliance of her mind, she's an amazingly loyal person. She loves intensely. She's always concerned with how everyone else is doing. She's got a sneaky beauty to her. When I first met her, I thought she was very plain, but now, she's the one I measure all others against, and they always fall short. Her eyes are amazing - dark whisky-brown eyes with flecks of gold and green. Her hair always looked bushy, but it's not bushy. It's soft as silk. It is a bit crazy, but it just reminds me of the fierceness of her character. She's a protective mama lion, and we're all lucky to be her cubs. That's what it all boils down to, Fred. I feel like I'm lucky to be able to be part of her world, and I don't ever want to lose that."
"Yes, George, that's all true, but Hermione is the kind of girl who's a friend first, and a lover later. I think it's part of that sneaky beauty. Most blokes are too stupid and clueless to truly see her. If you go about it with respect, you'll both be fine."
"Who are you, and what have you done with Fred Weasley?" George looked at his brother, a question in his eyes.
"Aw, Georgie, go get your witch. She's just having fun with Thomas out there, but she's destined for a Weasley man."
George laughed at this and decided to go cut in on Dean.
Many thanks go to my beta, LiteraryBeauty!
Note: This fic takes a while to get shippy and smutty. If you're patient, it will get there. As always, reviews are always appreciated!
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Wands and Wheezes