Adult-FanFiction.org : Harry Potter

To Find The Missing Lifeline	By : EvilConcubine Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Harry/Draco Views: 37355 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 2
Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. I don't make money from this story.

Chapter List
- 3
- 4
- 5
3. The Isolation

     Draco had led him into his room. Harry actually liked the room, and it wasn't as dark as he'd thought it would be. There were two desks: one in the remote corner next to the window (the window obviously wasn't real, since the room was in the dungeons) and the other one next to the door. Harry thought that Draco, most definitely, preferred to study at the one near the window, since the school books, the quill and the inkpot were placed on it. Next to that desk stood two bulky bookcases. There were a wardrobe in the room, a rather big state bed with canopy and curtains that were currently opened, a bedside table with a carafe with water and a glass on it, and a chest of drawers. The grey stony walls were decorated with three tapestries with the images of the forest and mountains, and there was also a full-length mirror (Harry couldn't imagine Draco's room without one); a cheval glass with the greenish, patinated frame, to be precise. There was a door; to the bathroom, as Harry guessed. Draco, obviously, strictly maintained the order in his room.

"It's very cosy," Harry noted. And then he noticed some movement on the bed and saw a three-coloured (brown, black and white), about one-metre-long snake.

"You have a snake?"

"It's Viperion, my pet," Draco replied, taking his overcoat off.

"He's not poisonous, is he?"

"Dipsas' are non-venomous snakes, so don't take his name into consideration. And even if he was poisonous, I'm sure it wouldn't be a problem for you to parley," the blond answered with a small smile. Harry shrugged and smiled too.

     Draco placed two chairs at the desk that was near the door.

"Are you hungry?" he asked.

"Hungry as a hunter. You?"

"Not really, but I'll keep you company."

     The Slytherin called the elf and asked to bring them dinner and tea, and very soon he and Harry started to eat. The soup was delicious and the hungry Gryffindor enjoyed it a lot. Harry also liked to watch Draco eating; he was watching covertly, of course. The blonde's table manners were perfect. His deportment was still aristocratic in many ways, it wasn't taken from him.

"Congratulations, by the way. The game was quite tense and dynamic, though I haven't expected less from you," Draco complimented when they proceeded to the tea with biscuits.

"Thank you. Now I see it was really worthy if even you admit it," Harry smiled at him.

"It's just an objective truth. I'm not the one who'd flatter you," the blond shrugged.

"You have no idea how much I value it these days," the brunet sighed, but smiled again. His eyes returned to the strange window with the colourful glass. "The window... It looks so real."

"It's more than just a window. There's a garden behind it. The illusion," Draco explained.

"Could you show it to me?"

"Of course. Let's go."

      Draco opened the window and got over the narrow windowsill. Harry followed him. The blond felt a little odd, showing the place to someone else. He'd got used to be alone there, so now it felt like revealing a secret, in some way.

"Wow... It's beautiful," Harry whispered.

"Yes. But I don't spend much time here," Draco replied. They moved to the bench made of stone.

"Why?" Harry asked, but somehow he already knew the answer. They sat down.

"Because this place sometimes makes me forget myself. It looks real but it's not. All of it is just a lie. I was living in illusions most of my life. Illusions and dreams are principally dangerous, one way or another."

"Some dreams are worth striving for," Harry said. He noticed the sadness on Draco's face.

"But not the unrealizable ones," the blond sighed. Albine finally appeared out of the bushes and ran to him to greet him, making loud, purring noises on the way. He scratched her head gently. And then she scrutinised a new visitor and smelled him. Harry stroked her back and took her in his arms.

"This cat feels so warm and real," the Gryffindor noted with surprise.

"Her name is Albine," Draco said.

"You were the one who named her?" Harry asked.

"Yes. The fake cat started to answer to this name, once I gave it to her."

     They were sitting there for an hour, no less, talking about school, Quidditch and some other things. Harry didn't want to overstay his welcome, so he decided that it was time to go. They returned from the illusion.

"Well... Thank you very much," he said with a smile.

"You're welcome," Draco nodded.

"See you, then."

"Yes, see you."

"And Draco... That boy, your new seeker, is not fit to hold a candle to you," Harry said. Draco opened his mouth slightly, but he didn't know what to answer, a little stunned by the unexpected compliment, even if he wasn't sure if Potter was serious or just flattered him for some reason.

     Harry left. He was in a great mood, but, somehow, it felt bittersweet. He thought how lonely Draco probably was in his sanctuary, even if it was quite comfortable.

     The very next day after lessons Harry came back to Draco's room to the blonde's surprise.

"To what do I owe the honour?" the blond asked, hoping that he sounded amused, not annoyed. He definitely didn't want to make Harry change his mind and leave.

"I was just... May I come in?" Harry asked. He simply couldn't find a suitable excuse or say the truth that he just wanted to visit Draco.

"Um... Of course. Come in," the blond nodded.

"Are you busy?"

"Not really. Just doing my homework."

"Do you mind if I join you? Our common room is terribly noisy and full of people. They create such a bedlam, you have no idea," Harry said. At least, it was the truth. He really didn't mind to spend some time in peace and quiet, far from those, who were ready to worship him or actually worshipped him; and he just felt very uncomfortable, like he didn't have anything personal. Draco's place was so far from all of that.

"Very well, I don't mind," Draco replied and returned to his desk, but he sat down half-turned to his guest. He was just about to say that Potter could take the other desk, but the Gryffindor had already moved the chair to the one where Draco was sitting. The blond didn't mind though. The desk was big enough for both of them; the more so, because Harry sat down at the side of it. He started his homework too, and for about two hours they were busy and quiet. The window was opened and it actually felt very nice. Albine was lying on the windowsill, half-asleep, only turning her ears lazily in the direction of the chirping birds. Harry even wanted to call her in, forgetting that she was just an illusion and couldn't get into the room. Couple of times Draco scratched her head absentmindedly without tearing himself away from his tasks.

"Do you want some tea?" the blond finally offered.

"Yes, please," Harry agreed. Two minutes later the elf brought them a teapot of fragrant tea, two cups and a plate with biscuits. They started to drink tea and again they were talking about something, for example, about their new DADA teacher. They both enjoyed their conversation and they both were in a good mood after saying goodbyes. When Harry had left, Draco caught himself at the thought that he wanted the Gryffindor to visit him again. He wasn't sure if he would bring himself to invite him, hoping that Potter would come without any invitation, just as he had done today. Draco also realised, and almost consciously admitted to himself, that he'd begun to like him (or just his company, he wasn't sure), so allowing the Gryffindor to come to his sanctuary wasn't just a gratitude anymore for what Harry had done for him.

     Draco wasn't disappointed. The next day Potter came to him after dinner. The Gryffindor felt very awkward. He hadn't got an invitation to come like this again and he started to think that he was testing Draco's patience, and soon the blond boy would become sick and tired of him. However, the Slytherin didn't seem to be annoyed at all. It even seemed to Harry that, on the contrary, Draco looked quite pleased, though, it wasn't very obvious. Again they were doing their homework and talking.

     The more Harry learned about Draco's personality, the more he wanted to discover him further. There was something intriguing behind those grey eyes. And the boys had really started to get along.

     The next day Harry didn't come, but Draco was waiting for him somewhere in the back of his mind. But then the Gryffindor visited him the other day. The visit was short. Harry just asked him about his wellbeing, they were walking in the fake garden and drinking tea. This time Draco actually asked him if he was going to come again. He asked it with the worry somewhere deep inside of him. Harry smiled at him and nodded. He was glad to hear that question. That meant that the blond wasn't tired of his company at all.

     Harry visited him again and again with the exception of the days off. After six or seven times he decided to make another step.

"Draco, I need to tell you something," he started after they had finished doing their homework.

"I'm listening," the blond nodded, concentrating on him.

"I want to be your friend", Harry said simply. He offered his hand for a handshake. Their eyes met. Draco was stunned by the look of the sincere green eyes and felt uneasy. He looked at the hand suspiciously and unconsciously made a small step back, making Harry feel uneasy as well.

"Umm... Just like that? Why? Why would you want to make friends with the public enemy?"

"I don't care what others think."

"I don't understand. Why do you think you know more than the Ministry, or Skeeter, or simple people of our 'wonderful' Wizarding World? Is that your way to be rebellious or eccentric?" Draco was a little confused. When they were talking about something and nothing in particular, it was fine by him, but now... They had never really touched such topics before.

"No, it's not about that," Harry shook his head.

"Then what is it all about?" The blond folded his arms on his chest. 'Why are you closing yourself from me, Draco?' the Gryffindor frowned to himself, noticing the defensive gesture, however, he didn't say it aloud. He'd hoped it wouldn't be that complicated, but his intentions were still firm.

"Look... I know enough. I know they forced you to do many things you never wanted to. I saw your face back then. They never gave you a choice. But you're not a murderer and you've never tainted your hands with blood. You could be the spoiled brat, the arrogant cynic, at least, on the outside, but it's not a crime and you're not an evil person. I wish I could see it earlier. And that was really brave of you to disobey a monster."

"It wasn't out of bravery. It was out of fear, actually. But it cost me my mother's life..."

"I'm sorry. I know you've lost a lot. I think your mother loved you and never wanted you to become a monster and a murderer. I'm sure she knew you made the right choice. And I know you did. Otherwise, you wouldn't be the person you are anymore."

"But you don't even know me."

"I already said I know enough. You are not the person I thought you were. I want to apologise for those terrible wounds... Sectumsempra... You were in such despair and I hurt you instead of trying to understand you. I couldn't forgive myself for this. I nearly killed you..."

"Perhaps, I wanted you to," Draco sighed to Harry's dismay. In some very small part it was true: he'd once thought, when he'd been lying in the infirmary after that incident, that if Harry had killed him, no one would have blamed his mother for Draco's failure and she would have probably been left alone. But it had been just a thought from 'what ifs' category.

"But I never wanted to! I had no idea what burden you were carrying for so long. I didn't know how hard the pressure was. And... When we met long time ago, you offered me your friendship, and I refused. Perhaps, if I took your offer back then, everything would have been different."

"Or, perhaps, I would have betrayed you when Lucius ordered me to. Perhaps, not. I don't know. Don't you think it's too late to discuss it?"

"I just want you to know that I'm sorry. There's something else I want you to know. I know that you recognised me when my friends and I were brought into your Manor. I saw it in your eyes. But you didn't tell anyone. I believe that that saved my life."

"I didn't do it just for you. I did it for myself. Voldem... The Dark Lord. No... Voldemort would have ordered me to torture and perhaps even to kill you... to restore the 'honour' of my family in his eyes. That would have entailed my initiation and I would have got the real Dark Mark. I did whatever I could to delay it, just because there wouldn't have been a way back. Not that I really thought I could hope that..." Draco fell silent and closed his eyes for a few seconds. The sore spot was touched.

"I saw you there. I saw you among them, and I knew you were not one of them," Harry stopped for a moment. 'Like a white, wilting and lonely rose among the decaying weed,' he thought. He actually didn't know why this thought struck him again. But exactly this metaphor had crossed his mind when he and his friends had been captured and brought to Malfoy Manor. And it had confused him. "And your eyes... You were asking for help. Not verbally, of course," he continued softly, but without making Draco think that he pitied him, since the blond wouldn't like it. Harry knew that Draco and his parents had been cruciated by Voldemort after Harry and his friends had escaped the Manor. It saddened him to remember about it, though, of course, he knew that Draco had endured much worse later. 'Why is he talking about my eyes all the time?' Draco thought. 'Do they betray me? Do they make me so obvious, so predictable?'

"I also... hoped that you'd kill that maniac when the time came..." the Slytherin confessed.

"Then never doubt that you made your contribution to it," Harry assured him.

"Well, I don't know how that could beat all my mistakes. It seems too insufficient, I'm afraid. And why would you want to befriend with me now? I have nothing to offer you." And Draco didn't mean that he had no family with all its influence, useful connections or reputation. Of course, he had nothing like that anymore. But Harry wouldn't be interested in such things anyway. Draco was talking about the recalcitrant wounds and all the scars in his soul; about his desolation. Would Harry take all of this? Draco thought it would be fair to let Harry know what exactly he was getting himself into.

"There's no need to offer me anything."

"Real friendship that, I believe, you demand, implies trust; at least, it's considered so. How can you possibly trust me?"

"I just do. And I want the same in return," Harry replied, offering his hand again. Draco looked at the hand and finally shook it, taking the offer. It felt warm.

"Friends then," he confirmed.

"Friends," Harry echoed with a small smile. 'Dear Lucius, how nice to know that you're rolling in your grave right now,' the blond smiled to himself. He needed some time alone to think and not to let his emotions overwhelm him in front of Harry. This talk was a little too complicated and not because of the Gryffindor, Draco realised that.

"Now, if you will excuse me, I'd like to take a bath," he said.

"Oh... I'd better get going then." Harry had already started to get up and pack his schoolbooks.

"No!" Draco nearly exclaimed, turning to him again. It made the Gryffindor sit down back on the chair and look at the other boy in puzzlement. The blond almost blushed and made his voice calm. "I mean, do you want to go now?"

"No, I don't," Harry admitted. The blond didn't want to let him go. Harry liked the feeling of it and smiled to himself.

"Then stay. It won't take long. You can take a walk in the garden or find something to read, if you wish," the Slytherin offered.

"It's all right, Draco. Take your time."

     Relaxing in the warm water, the blond mused of the exact reason that had made him feel so nervous. Was it the reminding of his mother? Or the reminding of the years of fear for her and for himself? Or it was just the way Harry had opened up something in Draco that had been closed for a long time? Or, possibly, it was the fact that Harry had almost seen real Draco when no one else (except Severus, of course) had even tried to understand what he'd really felt? Who else could understand, if not a person who'd suffered so many losses himself, but hadn't become embittered, nevertheless? Harry had heard his soundless scream. It could also be the lack of simple human emotions, sincere emotions; no hate, no hypocrisy. Draco didn't know and couldn't decide if he really needed any strong emotions now. 'But, if not now, when?' Perhaps, it was time to relax and start a new chapter of his life? With this he got out of the bath.

     After drying and dressing himself he returned into the room.

     Harry was reading a big book, he'd found on one of Draco's bookshelves; a book about the ancient castles, mostly abandoned. It was old and looked expensive. There were a lot of moving illustrations that allowed the reader to see the supposed everyday life of the inhabitants as it had used to be once, and also there were pictures of those places when they had already been abandoned for centuries. The text was full of exciting stories, dark secrets, ghosts.

"Do you like it?" Draco asked, noticing the interest on Harry's face.

"Yes, this is just exciting. Makes me want to find a place like one of these to explore," the dark-haired Gryffindor smiled at him.

"Sounds extreme."

"But that's the point," Harry chuckled.

"Why don't you organise an expedition then?"

"It's easier said than done. Even if that was possible, I have no idea where to look for it."

"Actually, I know one interesting place, but you probably won't like it."

"Why?"

"Voldemort once called the Death Eaters there for the meeting," Draco replied. Harry could feel the touch of bitterness in his words.

"So what? And what was that place anyway?"

"I just know that Voldemort enjoyed the energy of that place. It's abandoned and hard to find. The cave leads inside. Very indiscernible. It used to be the underground temple. As far as I know, it belonged to some cult generations ago. I'm not sure how big the place is. But I think it is rather big. I also think they even lived there. They say those cultists performed human sacrifices. However, I can't assert if it's true or just a creepy story. I've seen just one hall and two smaller rooms. There were doors, but they were closed and no one could open them. I'm not sure anyone even tried though. There's a possibility that the temple is flooded by the ground waters by now, or ruined, at least, partly. It's hard to tell," Draco told him. Harry enjoyed listening and watching the blond, who was now spending his time in front of the mirror, titivating his hair.

"Could you show it to me some time?" the Gryffindor asked.

"It could be dangerous. I'm sure it's full of magical traps, and Merlin knows what else those cultists could leave behind," the blond warned.

"You're just inciting my curiosity, you know. To be truthful I miss my earlier years in Hogwarts; mysteries, adventures, interesting things to discover," Harry said with a dreamy look. 'Too bad we weren't friendly, to put it lightly, to experience it together,' he thought suddenly. Draco had the same thought and smiled sadly.

"I could show you that place someday then," he promised.

"That would be great," Harry nodded and gave him a smile.

"By the way, you can keep the book."

"But..."

"Take it as a present, Harry. I insist," Draco said. He had finally started to get used to call the Gryffindor by his first name. Harry liked the way it sounded from the boy with pleasant voice.

     The lessons were finally over. Harry silently cursed all the teachers one by one. As if they all were in collusion, they'd given so much homework for the next day that only the lucky students would finish it until the midnight. Well, of course, every teacher always thought that his or her subject was the most important! It was as old as time.

     Draco opened the door for him with a cup of hot tea in his hand and smiled. The smile was returned. He'd been expecting the Gryffindor and the tea was already prepared for two of them. Harry was about to sit at the desk, but noticed that Draco's face contorted in pain a little. He was pale. Harry took a cup that nearly slipped out of Draco's weakening hands and placed it on the desk.

"Draco..." he whispered very concerned.

"I'm fine." The blond pressed his hand to his aching chest.

"No, you're not. Come on..." Harry helped him to lie down onto bed. "I'm going after Madam Pomfrey."

"No. I've already taken my potion. It will take its effect soon," Draco promised. "Please, don't panic. Just give it time."

     Harry started his homework, often looking at Draco nervously to make sure that he was really getting better.

"Draco, are you sure I shouldn't call anyone?" He put his book aside, it was hard to concentrate anyway, and approached him again.

"I'm fine, I swear," the blond sighed with a small smile. "I appreciate your concern, but there's no need to make a bustle over it."

"All right, I'm a fool then. But you scared me," Harry confessed.

"I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"I didn't want you to see me like this."

"Don't say that," Harry frowned a little.

"Let's do our homework. It seems to me our teachers have lost their minds today," the blond chuckled.

"You don't say. Stay in bed, I'll bring you everything," the Gryffindor insisted. Draco sighed, realizing that it was useless to argue, even if he felt much better. He sat up and propped up his back with pillows. Harry put his friend's schoolbooks next to him and returned to his own tasks. They were silent and preoccupied for some time until Harry growled and pressed his forehead to the desk.

"Your godfather is killing me," he mumbled.

"I'm sure he could say the same about you," Draco smiled in amusement. "What is it?"

"He didn't like my essay. 'Not acceptable,' he said. Tomorrow I have to hand it in and I can't even find what's wrong with it."

"Let me see." Draco took the parchment from Harry's outstretched hand enthusiastically, and started to read. Harry was secretly watching the movements of his pupils with grey irises as they were studying the lines of the text. It didn't take long for Draco to find what he was looking for. "Two things about the ingredients," he finally spoke. "For the first potion you can only use the extract of the Cordyceps, but not the whole mushrooms. You must use the extract in powder form. And the second thing: you didn't mention that it's necessary to boil the Cretan Dittany roots for five hours separately from all the other ingredients before adding them. Everything else is perfect and quite detailed."

"Thanks," Harry smiled, taking the parchment back.

"Why do you find potions so difficult?"

"Because I can't grasp at the very heart of it. I'm sure one can not be a good potion-brewer without feeling for it. I mean I can only follow the instructions and still make some flaws. You obviously have a gift," Harry complimented.

"I hope so," Draco smiled. "But you seemed to be very, very gifted during our sixth year," he chuckled.

"He told you about his schoolbook, didn't he?" Harry mumbled, slightly embarrassed.

"No. I once saw you using it when you weren't noticing. It was full of Severus' notes. I recognised his handwriting, though it wasn't as flawless as usually."

"And you didn't tell him?"

"He found out later anyway, as you know, but... Truth to be told, we... Let's just say, it was a very hard year for both of us, and I tried to stay away from him. It was very foolish of me." The blonde's features darkened.

"Sorry..." Harry almost whispered. He changed the subject quickly, and they continued doing their homework with the easy talk.
- 3
- 4
- 5
You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.
Report Story

To Find The Missing Lifeline