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Left For You	By : Araea Swiftwind Category: Harry Potter AU/AR > Slash - Male/Male Views: 24796 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 3
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction and in no way reflects the views of J.K Rowling or the affliated companies that own Harry Potter. I make no money from the writing of this story and do this of my own volition for my own pleasure.

Chapter List
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Title: What Lies Beneath

Author: Araēa Swiftwind

Pairing: Harry/Draco, Ron/Hermione, Neville/Luna

Rating: M as precaution

Warnings:Language, adult themes, AU, slight OOC, slightly against Dumbledore, slight Weasley bashing, Hermione bashing, pureblood idealism, evolution of feelings in preteens and the discovery of sexual activities by minors, and probably some other stuff I haven’t through of yet. You have been warned.

Notes: I want to thank you all so much for reviewing my story. I hadn’t intended to start a debate about children’s education, but I have to say that I’m glad I did. This gives me the chance to see what you all think about the learning capacity of youngsters. For all of you who decided my characters are unbelievable, I defy you to search Youtube for exceptionally intelligent children (especially British ones) and then come back and see if they don’t relate to Harry and Draco. I think you’ll find that smart children are everywhere and it’s not so far fetched to see a 5 year old speaking like a 25 year old. (Also, ask friends and family if they know of kids who’ve explained why the sky is blue or what a garbage man does…I bet you’ll be surprised at the answers you receive.)

< @ @ @ >Chapter Three< @ @ @ >

Harry had been legally living with Severus now for almost two months and Severus was facing a dilemma. He now had full legal custody of Harry in the muggle world, but not in the Wizarding world. The issue was whether to stay with Harry, in hiding, or pretend like nothing had changed and leave for Hogwarts. Severus was torn. He truly didn’t wish to leave Harry, as the boy had grown on him in the time they’d been together. However, he didn’t see life on the run as a viable option for raising a young child. Not knowing what else to do, he took Harry to Malfoy Manor so that he could council with Lucius.

The potions master helped Harry out of the floo and quickly dusted him off. When a house elf came to direct the child to the garden where Draco was “practicing” his broom-riding skills, he gave the small boy a tight hug, as if he’d never see him again. It was embarrassing, to say the least, to be so open with his emotions in front of his friend; however, he felt as though there was nothing else he could do. Harry simply meant too much to him.

“Severus, I see that these past months as a parent have changed you; you’ve gone soft.”

“Lucius, it’s no surprise that you are unfamiliar with the level of devotion I have for Harry. You see your son as a given, an inevitability, and as a right as Lord Malfoy. I see Harry as a gift, a privilege, and a reward for loving his mother as much as I did. I also see him as a second chance, to right the wrongs of the past. It is only natural that I have a greater attachment to him than you do to your own son. So, call me soft if you will. It matters naught to me.”

The blonde aristocrat delicately raised a single eyebrow and gave Severus a look, which was to say, “If you say so, however, I still believe this behavior entirely inappropriate of a man of your station. But do as you will.” Severus would have been shocked that a single look could say so much, but he had been friends with Lucius and Narcissa long enough to know that it could say a lot more.

“I did not come here to bicker about parenting techniques, Lucius. I came for your council. I am facing a dilemma, and while I’m sure you’ll have a quick answer, I fear that I may have trouble letting go.”

Lucius walked over to a pair of matching wingbacks and sat, indicating that Severus should do the same. Once both men were comfortably seated and a house elf brought them brandy, the older man nodded for his friend to explain the problem.

Severus sighed and began. “The issue is, of course, with Harry. I realize that we agreed some months ago to have him reside here with you while I was away at Hogwarts. However, now that things have changed and my fondness for the boy has grown, I am loath to leave him. I fear that while I am away, something dire may happen to him. He may need me. If I am to shirk my duties at Hogwarts, on the other hand, Albus will surely know something is amiss and may come to investigate. Should he discover that I have Harry in my care…” the man trailed off, as he knew Lucius would know where he was going with his statement.

It was true that this was a dilemma. Should he give in to his selfish desires, or should he do as duty demands and leave the boy he cared so deeply about? Lucius felt as though duty always came before love. It was why he had married Narcissa, it was why he had Draco, and it was why he had served the Dark Lord. Duty was tantamount to everything. If you shirked that, you weren’t fit to be a pureblood.

“Severus, I am certain you know my answer.”

The dour man’s face fell and he closed his eyes tight, attempting to reign in his emotions. It was all so much. He knew that the wisest option was to leave Harry with Lucius. He knew it in his mind, but his heart told him to never let the boy from his sight. As he was struggling with the choice, he did something he hadn’t done in many years. He prayed.

Lily, please show me what to do. I love your son as if he were my own. I don’t wish to see him hurt. But, is it really better to leave him with Lucius than to take him and hide?

He wasn’t expecting an answer. He knew that he was asking his own subconscious. But, whether he was expecting an answer or not, he received one.

Yes.

“If I leave with Harry today, I will not bring him back. So, I must leave before he knows I am going. He will most likely hate me for a time, but perhaps when the time is right, you can explain to him why I had to go. It will be much too hard if I hold him in my arms as he weeps. Do not let any harm come to my son, Lucius, or I will kill you.”

Lucius nodded and stood, ushering the man to the hearth. It was cold, the flames not yet lit. He handed the dark-haired man the floo powder pot and waited for him to take a pinch before setting the pot back on the mantle.

“I will take care of him as if he were my own. You can rest assured that no harm will befall him while in my care. I so swear on my magic that your son will be safe until you return.” The magic of the vow coalesced and draped itself around Lucius’ shoulders, proving that he meant every word he spoke. Severus nodded in understanding and left, the flames shooting up emerald green before dying down again.

Draco and Harry calmly strolled into the room only moments after Severus departed. Harry’s eyes eagerly scanned the room for his guardian, but did not find him. His brows wrinkled and he looked again, thinking perhaps that he simply missed him the first time around. When his second inspection turned out the same as the first, the jeweled green eyes began to water. His father wasn’t sitting in the room with Lord Malfoy. He wasn’t there. Harry tried to calm himself by thinking; He’s in the loo. It’s as simple as that. Don’t worry, Harry, he’ll come out any second and you’ll head home together. There is absolutely nothing to worry about.

He waited in silence for several moments, long after Draco had taken a seat in the second wingback chair, long after Lord Malfoy went back to sipping his brandy, and long after he knew his father wasn’t coming back. Harry’s little heart broke at the realization that he had been abandoned without a word. Again. Severus had left him just like Aunt Petunia had left him, just like his parents had left him. He was alone, in a house full of strangers. The emerald green light in Harry’s eyes dimmed into a matt finish. He was broken, and it was all Severus’ fault.

Lucius began to grow concerned when Harry didn’t ask where Severus had gone. The boy was simply standing just inside the door, looking more forlorn the more time that passed. He said nothing. After many long, tense moments, Lucius looked back over to the young child he was supposed to be guarding. The once-bright jade eyes had dulled into a flat mossy color. There was no life in those eyes. Only the emptiness of a child that’s had all of his worst fears confirmed.

The man quickly left his seat and walked over to the boy, kneeling down so that he was at eye level. He placed his large hands on each of the child’s shoulders, letting him know that someone was there. There was no response in those lifeless eyes.

“Harry,” Lucius called softly. The raven-haired savior didn’t respond. “Harry.” The call was louder this time; still no response. He turned his head to the side and spoke to his son. “Draco.”

The small blonde boy jumped from his seat and made his way quickly over to his new friend. He could see why his father was worried; there was no light, no life, in Harry’s eyes. The boy looked like an inferi; only human on the outside. Draco unknowingly let out a whimper of fear, afraid for his closest friend. That whimper was the only thing that got a response out of Harry.

He extricated himself from Lucius’ grasp and walked over to Draco, wrapping his arms around the slightly taller boy. His eyes closed as he held on tightly. Draco’s own eyes widened in shock, but he held Harry just as tightly, refusing to let this broken boy out of his grasp until he was sure he was all right. In that moment, Harry’s pain lessened just the smallest amount and he thought that as long as he still had Draco, everything might turn out all right.

Lucius watched the exchange with critical eyes. He had taught the boy that feelings were a weakness; that showing your true emotions was tantamount to asking to be used. Draco knew that his behavior was a disgrace to the name Malfoy, but when it came to Harry, he just didn’t care. Pureblood rules and politics had no place with the Boy-Who-Lived. When it came to Harry, if you didn’t wear your heart on your sleeve, he’d assume you didn’t have one.

“Boys, I think it would be best if you went upstairs and got ready for supper. Draco, loan Harry something to wear.” The two youngsters nodded to Lucius—well, at least Draco nodded. Harry had no expression, so Lucius couldn’t be sure the boy even heard. However, he followed Draco out of the room, so he thought it a victory.

It wasn’t long after the boys went upstairs to change that Narcissa glided into the room, looking lovely as always. Noting the troubled look on her husband’s face, she went to his side—he was still kneeling in the middle of the study floor.

“Lucius, what is wrong?” The concern in her voice snapped Lucius out of whatever musings he had been trapped in.

“Cissa. Severus came with Harry. He sought my council on the matter of the boy’s placement during the time that Severus should be at Hogwarts. He wondered if it might not be better for him to shirk his duty at the school to stay with young Mr. Potter. I informed him, of course, that duty must always come first. However, I am now rethinking that stance.”

“And why might that be, darling? Is it not a man’s place to do as duty dictates?”

“Not in this case, Cissa. You did not see the light die in young Harry’s eyes when he realized that Severus left him. He looked so betrayed, and then it was if he had died right in front of me. I don’t know how we can ever explain this so that he understands. He clings to Draco, as if our son is his only constant. I fear that if something were to prevent Draco from being at Harry’s side, he might break completely.”

Narcissa lifted her chin and looked off into the cold fireplace. “Then, isn’t the remedy simple? Have Severus come back at once, and tell Harry that he simply had to leave for a time to get things ready for their departure. I’m sure the boy will understand, and the light will come back to his eyes.”

Lucius sighed and kissed his wife’s hand, which had been resting on his shoulder. “I don’t think it is that simple, my dear. Harry has already convinced himself that Severus has abandoned him. And while yes, it hasn’t been that long since Severus left, no one has told Harry that he will be right back. No one allayed his fears, and so should Severus return now, it will be quite difficult to convince the boy he hadn’t meant to leave permanently.”

The blonde woman’s aristocratic blue eyes pierced into her husband’s steely grey ones. “Are you so weak willed, Lucius, that you will not even try? Will you not attempt to mend the poor boy’s broken soul?”

Her husband stood up quickly and gracefully. “Of course not. I shall send for Severus at once. I am simply informing you of my doubts on the functionality of this plan. Harry is not any normal child. It is not so easy to lead him to believe what you wish him to believe. He will come to his own conclusions, and there is nothing we can do to influence that conclusion at all. I wish you to be prepared for that eventuality.”

She nodded and her eyes softened. “You care for him, do you not?”

He inclined his head. “I do. I fear, however, that I may be on the verge of breaking my vow to Severus.”

Thin, delicate blonde eyebrows rose towards meticulously quaffed hair. “And what vow might that be?”

“I vowed that Harry would be safe until Severus’ return. And while he is currently physically safe, I fear that any more jolts to the boy’s fragile mental state might put him in danger. If that were to happen…”

“You will lose your magic, and possibly even your life.” Narcissa finished for her spouse. His mouth was set in a grim line. Things were perched precariously, and if something didn’t change for the better, Lucius would be the reason the savior of the Wizarding world was broken, irreparably. He could not have that on his conscience.

The Lord and Lady Malfoy moved as one to the hearth, Lord Malfoy throwing in the floo powder and Lady Malfoy calling out the house number on Spinner’s End. They waited with baited breath for Severus to come to the floo. It only took a minute or two, but to them, it felt like an eternity. When his head finally appeared in the emerald flames, they collectively released the breath they had been holding.

“Severus,” Narcissa breathed.

“It’s Harry,” Lucius finished.

In seconds, the man was through the fireplace and standing in the study of Malfoy Manner once again. “Where is he?”

They pointed up the stairs and said collectively, “With Draco, in his room.”

The man rushed from the room, thinking that the worst had happened. He had no idea what might be wrong with Harry, but his mind was spinning scenes of broken bones, a bloody corpse, a mangled mass of quivering flesh. He prayed most fervently, Please, let him be all right!

He mounted the stairs two at a time and rushed down the hall towards his godson’s room. He found the door slightly ajar and hesitated not a bit in entering the boy’s chambers. Draco was sitting calmly on his bed, Harry lying next to him with his dark head in the blonde’s lap.

“Harry,” Severus breathed, relieved that his son was not a mangled body.

At the sound of his name in that voice, Harry’s body twitched. His eyes opened slowly, as if he wasn’t sure he actually heard the sound or not, but was afraid to hope that he had. Once his eyes were completely opened, he took in the form of his father standing in the doorway. There were tears in the man’s obsidian eyes, pain and relief etched clearly across his features.

“Harry, thank God you are safe. I never should have left you, even for a moment. I’m sorry, so sorry. Please, Harry, come here.” There was hope and longing on the man’s face now. He wished so much that Harry would get off the bed and run into his arms. He wanted to wrap his warm embrace around the boy and never let go again. He had known, in some part of himself, that leaving was a mistake. The relationship was too knew, the trust too fragile. Harry needed him, and now was not a good time to be away.

Harry simply stared at Severus, only partially wanting to run to the man. The larger part of himself wished for the apparition to go away, to leave him again so that he didn’t have to feel the agony of separation a second time. He didn’t need this man who tried to call himself “father.” All he needed was Draco, the boy who called himself “friend.” Draco would never leave him.

“Please,” the pleading voice of Severus whispered across the room. Such desperation. I can’t have failed, not yet. Please, God, don’t let me be too late.

Draco ran his small hands through his friend’s hair, torn. He wanted Severus and Harry to be happy again, wanted the boy to have his father back. But he also wanted Harry to need him. He was selfish, wanting the boy all to himself. If he had no one else to love, no one else to love him, then he wouldn’t ever leave Draco. He would need Draco, like no one else needed him.

Several tense moments passed where no one spoke. Severus stood in the doorway, heart yearning to hold his son. Harry lay on the bed, head cradled in Draco’s lap, wishing he could get up like nothing had changed and run to his father. And Draco sat on the edge of his bed, carding his hands through Harry’s dark, messy hair, wondering what the right thing to do was.

The potions master fell to his knees as the tears began to fall silently. He had failed. His son, Harry, no longer wanted anything to do with him. He had moved on, in such a short amount of time. Severus was obsolete. His heart broke, knowing he wouldn’t get another chance to make up for his part in Lily’s death. But now, there was one more strike against him. Harry hated him, and he had failed.

Draco paled, seeing for the first time, his godfather on his knees, weeping for the son that had rejected his apology. This wasn’t supposed to happen. Severus was strong; he wasn’t supposed to cry. Even though he wasn’t a pureblood, he had been raised with the same principles. Emotions are weakness, and weakness is unacceptable. Hide how you really feel lest those feelings be used against you. The five year old couldn’t take it anymore. He looked down at Harry and stilled his fingers.

“Harry, look at him. If he weren’t sorry, then he wouldn’t be on his knees now. Have you ever seen him like this?”

Harry barely responded, his eyes panning up from the floor to look at his father. The man looked utterly boken. He had no pride left; his soul was bare for Harry to see. He hadn’t meant to hurt the man. He didn’t want to see his guarding crying.

“But, he left me…” the words were whispered, soft enough that Draco only barely heard them.

“But he came back,” was the whispered reply.

Draco was right. He had come back. He had come back quickly and begged for forgiveness. He had fallen to his knees and cried, when he had always put on a stoic façade before. He was hurting and his soul was lain bare for all to see. And in the midst of the pain and desperation, Harry could see the love. Love for him, and love for his mother.

He sat up slowly before slipping quietly off the bed. He padded over to his father and wrapped his little arms around the man’s neck. He didn’t know if he could trust him or not, but he wanted to try.

“Papa?”

Severus’ eyes widened and his arms automatically wrapped around the small frame of the boy in front of him. Harry had come to him. He had come of his own free will and wrapped his arms around the man. He had called him “papa” without being asked. It was a miracle.

“Harry?” There was a note of uncertainty in the man’s voice. He didn’t know if this were real or a dream. He didn’t know if he should hope for forgiveness, of if this hug was to say goodbye. So many emotions were warring within him, he wasn’t sure what to think. He needed Harry to tell him what to believe.

The five-year-old’s arms tightened around the desperate man and he nuzzled his little face into his neck. He wasn’t quite ready to forget what had happened, but if the man explained everything, then maybe things could go back to the way there were.

“Take me home?” No three words had sounded as sweet to Severus as those three did at that moment. He nodded and scooped the child up in his arms. He had made a mistake in leaving Harry with Lucius, but it would never happen again. He didn’t know what the future would hold for him and Harry, but he knew that he’d be able to get through it, as long as he had the little boy at his side.

“Of course, Harry. I love you.”

The emerald green eyes flared back to life, happiness filling the child at those words. He had never said them before, and he wasn’t sure if he’d ever say them again.

“I love you, too.”

TBC

Notes 2: So, just thought I'd let you all know that from here on out, things might get a little crazy for our main characters. It's probably going to get pretty AU and OOC, but if you've been bearing with me so far, you'll probably okay for the next bit. There's most likely going to be a time jump of several years, so just assume a lot of stuff happened. (I may do some side stories that explain what happened in these time jumps, but only if I get a large response from people requesting them.) Anyways, I hope you all liked this chapter. Stay tuned for the next one (should be up in the next couple of days.)
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