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The Best Kept Secrets	By : danniperson Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Harry/Snape Views: 13518 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 2
Disclaimer: I did not create the Harry Potter stories or universe and I do not make any money from this

Chapter List
- 3
- 4
- 5
THE BEST KEPT SECRETS

Chapter Four: When the Lips Never Moved

In warm, strong arms, he felt more at peace than he had in a very long time. It was a wonderful way for Harry to wake up so he smiled in appreciation as he nuzzled into the chest that acted as his pillow. Strangely old fingers brushed through his hair, tracing the lightning bolt scar, trailing down the side of his face, thumb ghosting across his slightly parted lips. Unable to help himself, he gave it a soft kiss, tip of his tongue peaking from his mouth to taste it. Hearing the sharp intake of breath, he smiled lazily then allowed himself to blink up at the face hovering over his.

Perhaps it was his still half asleep state that attributed to his thoughtless actions. Maybe it was the look of reverence softening normally hard black eyes. Snape was always so intense, his expression either ice cold or as heated as the flames that always filled his fireplace. This warmth, though, was so rare that his heart broke upon seeing it. This had to be his lucky day. Without so much as a second thought, he pressed himself up to kiss those thin lips that had been tempting for far too long.

The stiffening of Snape's body showed his surprise, but melted quickly as the man eagerly kissed him back. The older wizard rolled them over so that Harry was on his back while he was pressed on top of him. Harry slid his arms around Snape loosely, just lying back to sleepily enjoy Snape's enthusiastic work. The arms around him squeezed him tighter, hands grasping at his back, fingers spread wide to hold as much of him as possible. Feeling the man's morning erection pressing into his stomach, he hummed quietly with a small smile, opening his mouth against the coaxing of Snape's tongue, groaning at the feel of it sweeping through his mouth. His fingers slowly stroked through the man's greasy hair, curling the strands around his fingers, not even bothering to keep up with the heated kiss, letting Snape take what he wanted from him.

It was all so nice. So much different than with Ginny. Nothing against his wife, or anything. She was pretty. He liked her soft, curly red hair, full lips, even her toned body with its slight feminine curves. Plenty of blokes at Hogwarts had wanted her, for good reason. There was nothing wrong with her. Her kissing was just fine, she could get him off. But something was missing there. A familiar rotten feeling deep in his gut made him frown as he slowly roused enough to think properly. It wasn't fair to Ginny. She couldn't be held accountable for anything. He was the one who had fucked up. Was currently fucking up again, he thought, as his cock responded to the thrusting of Snape's hips against his own, moaning low in his throat. At the sound, Snape's lips moved from his down to his neck, sucking hard at the juncture where it met his shoulder. It was nearly enough to make Harry lose his train of thought, though he rallied and managed to unwind his arms from Snape, yanking his body to the side to escape him.

"Snape, stop," Harry said, voice not nearly as angry or commanding as it should have been.

The man's lips stilled. For a long moment he just stayed where he was, struggling to breathe deeply and evenly against his skin. Just when Harry was about to stay something, Snape pulled his arms from under him then punched the mattress on either side of him angrily. Then he pushed himself up, glowering at Harry who glanced away guiltily.

"Sorry," he muttered, clearing his throat. "Why am I here? We didn't…?"

Snape snorted. "You're still clothed. I've seen no evidence of foul play. Suffice to say, your arse is safe."

"Oh. Thanks," he said, scratching his head. He didn't remember much about last night after arriving here, just the drinking. "Not that I'm complaining, but why do I feel so…good?"

Snape raised an eyebrow. "Considering recent activities…"

Harry's face heated. "No, not that," he said quickly. "I mean…Shouldn't I be wishing for death right about now? How much did we drink?"

"I have no more alcohol in my house," Snape said dryly. "You awoke around two, complaining of a massive migraine so I fetched a hangover potion. You passed promptly out afterwards."

"Oh. I don't remember that," he said, rubbing his hands over his face. "Why are we in bed together?"

An ugly flush colored Snape's cheeks, eyes twitching as though wanting to look away, though he didn't. "Contrary to popular belief, I do not know everything," the man dismissed irritably. "While I didn't drink nearly as much as you, because, honestly, who would? It was still a substantial amount. We likely were not thinking properly when we retired to bed."

"It's a wonder we thought enough to make it to the bed at all," Harry muttered, unable to look at Snape any longer. Judging by the man's reaction, he assumed he was lying and had purposefully put Harry in bed with him. His body felt fine, so maybe they hadn't shagged. If they had, he would still be feeling it, wouldn't he? Besides, Snape was no rapist. He might push more than Harry was happy with, but he wouldn't do anything while he was drunk or unconscious. If it wasn't sex, then what was it? Was it just because he was close to him? The very thought made him feel foolish. That was far too romantic and sweet for the man.

Even if it had to be true.

"I should probably shower," Harry muttered. A cold shower.

Snape nodded slowly, still looking agitated. "Breakfast?"

"Please."

Before he could say anything else, Snape slid out of bed, swept out of the room, and slammed the door. Harry sighed heavily, sadly staring at the door for a while before finally gathering the courage to get up to go shower.

A little over a half hour later, he emerged, dressed in the clothes he had worn the night before, as he hadn't brought a change. Breakfast wasn't done yet, nor did it look close to being so. Harry figured Snape must have taken a good deal of time to cool himself down before allowing himself near sharp objects. By the smell of it, coffee was done, sausages were cooking, something was in the oven, and the man was currently cracking eggs then emptying them into a small pan. Snape didn't glance up, or otherwise acknowledge his presence, but Harry knew he was aware of him.

Now that he was more awake, he felt awful for what had occurred in the bedroom. Kissing Snape was amazing. He had nearly forgotten just what he had been missing. But it was a betrayal to Ginny, had hurt Snape, and wasn't doing him much good. Their affair was what had gotten him into this whole mess to start with. Hadn't he stated the night before that he wasn't giving up on his marriage? Leading Snape on was the last thing he should be doing. Hadn't he hurt the man enough was it was? Harry hated himself for it. Two of the most important people in his life were his wife and the man before him. And he hurt them by using the other. He never had it in his heart to let one of them go. Neither of them seemed to have it in theirs to let him go either.

"I love you," Harry wanted to say. "Smells good," he muttered instead.

Snape said nothing. Maybe he should have professed his love. Surely, that would have earned him a reaction. It would be a dirty trick. He felt bad enough as it was. "Need any help?"

"I have never been in need of your assistance, Potter," Snape said coldly.

"Of course not. Doesn't mean you don't want it," Harry said, approaching him cautiously. Black eyes narrowed at him, but the man said nothing and continued his cooking. Without another word, Harry went to the refrigerator, pleased, but not surprised, to find plenty of fruit. Snape always did enjoy a bit of fruit with every meal and snacking on them in between. On the bottom shelf there was a wide variety of fruit as well as several small cups of yogurt. Seeing them jarred a memory from long ago that involved food play on the kitchen floor.

The night of Albus's conception, to be exact. It was only two months after James's birth. Things between Snape and himself had been slightly better. Ginny had been furious with the renewal of their friendship, leading to a spectacular fight and Harry coming here. Snape welcomed him in only to have Harry fly past into the kitchen. Snape had watched on in amusement as Harry raided his cabinets, finally sitting on the floor to check the ones down below for alcohol. The older wizard finally came forth with a bottle of wine and two glasses, claiming that he was all out of the good stuff.

Several hours later they were drunk on wine, laughing. It was strange to see Snape laugh. Nice, but so very strange. Harry went on and on about Snape's supreme gayness then, opening the fridge, falling onto his back in the process, before pointing to the shelf of fruit then making many a ridiculous joke about fruitiness that had him cracking up so much his ribs ached. Snape grinned, letting out a small laugh now and then.

"…I mean, look at all these bananas! There's nothing gayer than a banana. I bet you practice fal…fe…fol? F…fuh?"

"Fellatio?"

"Yeah! That on them. Don't you?"

A raised eyebrow. "Do you think I need practice in that area, Mr. Potter?"

"Mmm," Harry said, licking his lips. "If you need to, I have something better than a banana."

"Do you now?" Black eyes glittering in amusement as he reached into the fridge.

"You are!" Harry laughed, trying, and failing, to sit up while jabbing his finger into the fridge. "Look at all of this! God, I'm drunk. What is in that wine? What are you doing?"

Snape shoved up his shirt, dumping the contents of one of his yogurt cups onto Harry's stomach. "Ack!" he yelped at the freezing cold sensation on his warm skin. Green eyes struggled to look down at his body, trying to make sense of what was happening. Were they having a food fight? Or was it sex? Was he going to use the yogurt as lube? Was that safe? Snape sat back a moment, eyes never moving from him as he took another sip of his wine then reached in to grab one of the bananas. When he set the glass down, he began to peel it, making Harry swallow hard as he watched.

The man spent several minutes spreading the yogurt everywhere with the banana, taking extra care to circle his nipples with it, causing them to harden in the coldness, before dipping the tip of the fruit into his bellybutton then placing it deep into his mouth. "Oh fuck," Harry groaned, watching his mouth close around it. His cock began to twitch in interest at the display Snape was giving him. Really, doing that to a banana should be illegal! He didn't tease him with the fruit as much as anyone else might have, but he sure took his time before slowly biting into it, chewing it just as carefully. Though Harry really didn't want him doing that to his dick, it was still sexy as hell.

"Y…You've made a mess of me," Harry stuttered.

"I often do," Snape said seductively, running what was left of his banana through the yogurt that covered Harry's chest and stomach. Slow, deliberate circles, brushing over his erect nipples, then coming to rest near his collarbone while Snape leaned over him to pull his shirt the rest of the way off. Harry lay compliantly on the floor, not saying anything as he let the man continue his work. He was too fascinated, drunk, and horny to interrupt. Grabbing the banana, Snape slid it along his dry collarbone then up his neck, over his chin, and up to trace his lips. "Open," he whispered. So Harry did, parting his lips enough for Snape to push the remainder of the banana inside. It was sloppy. The piece was still a bit big even though Snape had easily eaten half or more earlier. His fingers remained pressed against Harry's mouth while he chewed, his own dipping down to slide his tongue along the trail he had made from his neck upwards, cleaning off the yogurt he wished to while leaving the rest of his chest cool and sticky.

He was still chewing by the time Snape reached his mouth, which caused the man to glare halfheartedly at him. Sensing he must have ruined the moment by not eating fast enough, he tried to swallow what he could, though it was hard as he was also laughing, struggling not to choke on bits of banana. "Kindly don't die now, Potter," Snape said, sitting up on his knees, eying his shirt distastefully. Apparently, he hadn't been too careful, as it now shined in the light of the refrigerator, reflecting the gooey yogurt that had attached itself when he had been hovering over Harry. This caused the younger wizard to laugh more, having to slam his hand over his mouth to keep banana from spewing out, trying hard to finish swallowing the thing so that the risk of dying was lowered drastically.

"My intention was to get you drunk so that you would more easily succumb to my seductions. I can see now that it was a very bad idea," Snape muttered, unbuttoning his shirt with more ease than Harry found believable. After all, Harry remembered how difficult undressing his older lover had been. "This would have been better sober."

"That's because you're only supposed to get your…person drunk. You're not supposed to get drunk with them," Harry snorted. He wondered if he should be bothered by Snape's confession that he was trying to have sex with him but, instead, he found that his partially erect prick hardening further at the thought of shagging Snape.

"I do not get drunk," Snape muttered, though Harry didn't think he believed it. While the man was hardly slurring his words, they did come with less grace than usual while his movement was sloppier than normal. Compared to the average man, he was still functioning perfectly. Considering who this was, he might as well be falling all over himself. "If I was, however, it would be the perfect excuse as to how I could not have taken advantage of you."

"Mmm, right," Harry said, distracted as Snape slid off his shirt. Pale flesh was marred by too many scars. The most prominent being the large burn scar along the left side of his body from. cursed fire Snape had explained before. It had been a bit less powerful than Fiendfyre, called hellfire, nearly the same shade of green as the Avada Kedavra curse. He remembered Snape telling him the story of his early days among the Death Eaters, how the higher ranking purebloods liked to use him as target practice before learning just how valuable he was to the Dark Lord with his natural talents as well as information about a great many people Voldemort hoped to lure to his side.

By most standards, Snape was no attractive man and these scars would have almost anyone cringing in both sympathy and disgust. Instead, he reached out to tenderly trace along them while Snape watched with hooded eyes. "More wine?" the man asked, looking caught between pulling away from the touch and leaning into it.

Harry chuckled. "I'm not sobering up, I promise."

"You didn't answer my question."

"I wasn't aware you had asked one."

The man glowered at him. "Would you care for more wine, Potter?"

"Ah. I shouldn't," Harry said.

"But?"

"One more glass won't hurt."

Snape poured two more glasses while Harry sat up. Harry downed his quickly, his lover only taking a few small sips before he was done. A full glass was set down beside an empty one for Snape to put both hands to good use, grasping Harry's face, kissing him fiercely. Any objections had been slaughtered by his alcohol intake. Ginny and James be damned. There was nothing on earth that made him feel the way Snape did, so why not take it? Harry clung to the man as best he could, though Snape had a firm grip on his hips, keeping their skin from meeting the way Harry was aching to. He nearly forgot about the mess of the yogurt still left on his body.

"Bed," he gasped, pulling away from the kiss, body twisting in his eagerness to be thoroughly shagged.

"Not yet, I'm afraid," Snape murmured huskily. "I haven't finished cleaning you yet."

Harry made to object, trying to move closer, but Snape placed a hand around his neck. The pressure wasn't enough to hurt or deprive him of oxygen, but just enough to push him onto his back. Snape took his sweet time straddling Harry's legs while digging into the fridge, producing grapes to dip into the yogurt before popping them into his mouth. It was never just a small swipe to gather the yogurt, instead slowly swirling the fruit all around Harry's chest, even placing two on his nipples and one in his bellybutton where they remained until the older man was ready to be rid of them. In the end, Snape finished by licking off the excess stripes of yogurt before sucking the grapes out of his bellybutton and off of his nipples.

They never did make it to bed. Playing with the fruit had been torment enough for Harry who, immediately, ripped off his trousers the moment Snape was off of him, ready to attack the man next. They rushed through everything after that, on the floor in front of the open fridge, all sloppy kisses and desperate thrusting leading to the most intense orgasm Harry could remember having. When they were done, they held each other close, both knowing what it was like to be without each other and savoring every moment they had left together. And, when they had rested enough, Snape fed Harry yogurt through his laughter. They fell asleep in the very spot they made love, which made for a very uncomfortable morning. But, when he woke, it was to a nice hangover potion, a glass of orange juice, sliced apples, and more yogurt.

Just looking at that shelf caused a very strange feeling in his stomach, discomfort as well as the stirrings of arousal. Harry cleared his throat as he stepped away from the fridge. "You…ah…never did teach me how to make banana bread," he muttered in response to the odd look Snape shot him.

The man smirked. "That was three years ago."

"Yes, well, you still haven't after three years," he said with as much humor as he could, wishing he didn't sound so breathless or dazed.

"I hardly think that's a good idea, Potter," Snape said, setting the pan aside before slowly approaching him. Harry pressed his back into the fridge while Snape stopped not even an inch away from him. "I would do nothing more than use this lesson as an excuse to touch you…be near you…seduce you. There is only one way such a session could end."

"Erm…Nice, warm banana bread?" Harry whispered.

Snape snorted. "No, you bent prettily over my counter taking it up the arse."

"I…That can't," Harry whispered, eyes drawn to Snape's mouth, a shiver trailing through his body at the erotic imagery coming to mind.

"I could always summon my special made lubricant from the bedroom," Snape murmured huskily. "Or we could make awful use of the butter. It might not work as well, but it would go nicely with the rest of the scene, don't you agree?"

Harry swallowed hard then laughed nervously. "Aha…erm…sounds messy."

"It always is. But always well worth it. I'd be sure to bathe you thoroughly afterwards."

"Fucking hell, Snape," Harry muttered as the man leaned in closer. "Your eggs are going to burn."

"I turned off the stove when I saw you bending over in front of my refrigerator, gaping at my fruit selection," Snape assured him. "If I recall, we made special use of my yogurt, as well."

"Yeah…was really fucking cold," Harry muttered, arse cheeks clenching at the pleasant memory of slick, cold fingers sliding inside of him.

"At least I licked it clean afterwards."

"All purpose yogurt," Harry snorted, shaking his head as he slid to the side, trying to escape the man. Black eyes followed him exasperatedly. "And come."

"I was drunk."

"That's not what you said."

"My state of sobriety versus drunkenness was not the topic of discussion, Harry."

"Please, stop."

"Stop what? I'm merely making conversation," Snape replied, brushing past Harry to tend to his eggs. He appeared frustrated. Likely it with himself for putting it all out there as well as with Harry for continuously turning him down. Harry shook his head, trying to clear his mind. The nearness of his lover, the sound of that silky voice, all of the fond memories of hours spend making love were enough to test his willpower tremendously. He didn't want to deny himself, or Snape, and was finding it increasingly difficult to remember why he was doing so in the first place.

"What do you want me to do?" Harry asked. "For breakfast?"

"Perhaps inform your wife that one should knock before entering an individual's household," Snape said, glaring across the room. Harry spun around in a panic, seeing nothing at first. Then Ginny walked into the kitchen doorway, Lily standing half behind her.

"Why should I respect the home of a man who can't respect my marriage?" Ginny asked coolly. "Come along, Harry. We're taking you home."

"Potter is a grown man. He hardly needs his mummy to bring him home," Snape said sarcastically.

"Stay out of it," Ginny snapped. "Harry?"

"Errr," Harry said, glancing uneasily between his wife and his lover. They were too busy glowering at one another to pay him any notice. It was mildly annoying that Ginny popped up to basically inform him that he was not only welcome home, but she was dragging him there. Considering everything, he wanted to tell her to shove off, that he already had plans for breakfast and that he'd see her home later. He wasn't necessarily happy with Snape, either. Sometimes he couldn't blame the man for pushing the way he did but, at the moment, he was tired of feeling so pressured all of the time. Snape could help make his life a lot easier by not making himself so goddamn tempting.

One look at his daughter and any resolve he had to snap at them both dissipated. She was thirteen years old, but could have been so much younger with that lost, saddened look on her beautiful face. This situation was just as hard on her as it was everyone else. Maybe she was Ginny's daughter, but her whole family was caught up in this whole mess. She learned more about her family than she probably ever wanted to know. There was no way to tell what on earth was going through her mind about this whole thing, but it probably wasn't good. Harry frowned. Unlike her brothers, she seemed more hurt than angry. He had the overwhelming urge to take her into his arms, soothe away all of the pain then protect her from all of the pain and drama that was sure to follow this revelation was unbearable. Regardless of what point he wanted to prove to his wife, he wouldn't do it at the expense of his daughter.

"You and Lily are more than welcome to stay for breakfast," Snape said.

"I don't think so. We're going to have a family brunch this morning," Ginny informed him. "Harry?"

"I…Right. Erm…Sorry, Snape. Maybe some other time?"

"Of course," Snape said sourly. The man looked livid, close to spouting off a vehement tirade aimed to deliver as many furious insults to Harry and Ginny as possible. One look at Lily, though, and his lips pressed together in a thin, pale line as he returned to roughly finishing his breakfast.

"Uhh…Bye then. And…thanks. For everything."

"Anytime, Mr. Potter."

Ginny looked as though she was just as prepared for verbal warfare, eyes flashing angrily when the man spoke. Like her ex-professor, though, she seemed to remember the company they were in and bit her tongue. Glancing uncomfortably at Snape, Harry wanted to go to him, to hold him, kiss him, promise to return, assure him that he loved him but that this was for the best, and many other unwelcome comforts or excuses. For a moment, he stood awkwardly in place, unsure of what to do, before finally stepping forward with a wave to the man. Ginny turned to follow him out.

"I…Bye, Snape," Lily said, still lingering in the doorframe. Harry stopped, heart panicking in his chest as he turned to look at his daughter. "See you this weekend, yeah?"

Ginny stopped as well upon hearing this, spinning around, mouth open to refuse, but Harry reached out a hand to grasp her arm. She tugged away from him, but remained silent.

After a pause, Snape replied, "As always, dear Lily."

"Ah…Good, then. Umm…Are you feeling better?"

"…Quite."

"Good. That's…that's very good. Well…I um…do you…? Well…What I mean is…I should go so…I'll see you later, then."

"Farewell, Miss Potter."

Harry could only gape at her as she turned around and quickly headed for the door. Her head was bowed in embarrassment, face flaming, brown eyes wide, slender body tense. What the bloody hell had that been? Harry was sure she wouldn't talk to him or Snape anytime soon, the way her brothers were sure to play things. But she seemed to be going out of her way to be as polite as ever to Snape. But why? After everything she had learned, he wouldn't blame her for being upset.

He'd figure it out before long. He would have to have a talk with all of his children about this, eventually.

It was too early to be awake, so James kept his eyes closed. There was something awful about that area between sleep and wakefulness that irritated him to no end. He wanted to go back to sleep properly! After yesterday, he was much too tired to really get up and face the day. Admittedly, there was also a bit of reluctance to open his eyes to the world because that meant having to deal with everything he had learned. Besides, this wasn't so bad, lying in bed in Teddy's arms. If he had his way, they'd never leave this. Teddy was so warm and comfortable. Once he stopped being such a perfect pillow and James was more energized, he'd be perfectly useful for something else as well! His arse was a bit sore after last night, so the thought of shagging again was a bit painful. But, maybe, Teddy would let him be on top! If not, that was fine. James was just ready to get back to it, even if he did hurt!

"Teddy? You awake?"

Oh shite! Victoire. James opened his eyes just slightly enough to peer at the gorgeous blond standing in the doorway. She didn't seem all that surprised or upset to see her boyfriend in bed with her cousin. It took James a moment to realize he was wearing pajama bottoms and that Teddy was, as well. When had that happened? The thought made him a bit grumpy so he shifted around in bed irritably while Teddy carefully maneuvered out from under him to sit up, face bright red as he faced his girlfriend. "Er…yes, dear?"

"Hey, I just wanted to let you know I'm going to work," she whispered with a small smile. "How is he?"

"He…um…oh, right. Well…he's been sleeping. Well, he woke once really upset which is why I came in here," Teddy explained hurriedly. "Didn't want to disturb you."

"Oh, no, honey, that's fine. Jamie needed you," Victoire assured him. "It's really sweet of you, actually. He's more than welcome to stay here as long as he needs, alright? Try to get him to talk when he wakes, too. It was really bad yesterday."

"I know," Teddy frowned. "I'll see what I can do. Have a good day at work."

"I will," Victoire smiled. "Love you."

"You, too, babe."

He waited until the door was closed, then waited some more. Waking up when he was annoyed over Victoire's presence, nervous about how seemingly perfect she was, and upset over Teddy returning her 'love'. It was a few minutes later, when Teddy was snuggling close to him, nose nuzzling into his hair then inhaling deeply, when James felt more secure in his place in Teddy's arms and heart that he let his black eyes flicker open, feigning sleepiness that had long since disappeared.

"Mmm. Morning, love," Teddy murmured, kissing his forehead.

"Morning," James replied quietly, tilting his head to the side to kiss Teddy's throat. "Mmm…Vic?"

"Just left for work," Teddy sighed.

James grinned. "So…"

"So?" Teddy repeated with a smirk.

"She's gone. We can make the most of our morning," James said.

"And how do you expect to do that?"

"To start? Getting you naked. When did we end up clothed anyway?"

"Not long after you fell asleep, lazy arse," Teddy teased. "I figured it was safe just in case Vic walked in at any point."

"Hmm. True. But she's not here now," he said, tugging at the waistband of Teddy's bottoms.

"James?" called a voice from nearby. "James!"

"Oh fuck! What the hell is she doing here?" he hissed, scooting away from Teddy while his lover jumped right out of bed, then stumbled across the room.

"Teddy?" called Ginny Potter.

"Tell her I'm not here!" James hissed.

"What's going on?" Teddy demanded, alarmed.

"He's probably still sleeping, Mum!" Lily's voice said. "You know how lazy he is."

"Told you," Teddy mouthed with a smile. James might have returned it if he wasn't so busy freaking out over his mother and sister turning up.

"Don't they know how to wait for someone to let them in? It's rather polite, that way," James muttered, sliding out of bed then finding his shirt.

"They know they're always welcome here. Just like you," Teddy said quietly.

"You don't have to defend them," James snapped.

Teddy blinked in surprise. "Sorry?"

"Whatever, Ted," James grumbled.

There was a pounding on the door. "James? You awake?"

"Hold on, Ginny! We're getting dressed!" Teddy called out.

"What the fuck are you doing?" James hissed.

"Oh, alright. We'll be waiting in the living room," Ginny replied, then walked away.

James gaped at the door as Teddy walked over to him holding his shirt, helping him back into it. "We're both boys, you know," he said quietly, the shaking in his arms, showing how nervous he was. "We grew up together. She doesn't know you're gay. We've gotten dressed in the same room before so she probably thought nothing of it."

"Oh, right," James said, breathing a sigh of relief. His heart rate began to slow down to normal as he tugged the ends of his shirt around him, making sure it was on correctly. He hadn't even considered that. Even he and Teddy lounging in bed in nothing but their bottoms together would be nothing new to Ginny or Lily. Heck, even Victoire might not even blink at it. She didn't seem to think much of Teddy and James snuggling when she walked in earlier. James laughed in relief as well as at the stupidity of everyone else. Things would be alright after all. At least for Teddy and himself.

"Good?" Teddy asked.

"As I'll ever be," James agreed, rubbing his hands down the sides of his legs. Teddy nodded then led the way out of the guest bedroom. The relief that their secret remaining safe made it hard for him to be too annoyed by the fact that Ginny, Lily, and Harry were sitting on the couch. His parents sat stiffly and awkwardly on either side of his sister, who was fidgeting, looking all around the room, trying to pretend that there was nothing strange happening.

"What do you want?" James sighed, plopping down in a chair. Teddy sat on the arm of the chair, the only available space left.

"For you to come home," Ginny replied. "We're having a family brunch."

"Are you?" James asked, flicking an invisible piece of lint from his knee. "I figured Dad would be too busy making something with Snape."

Feeling Teddy tense up beside him, he glanced up in time to see him mouthing something ending with "-ows?" at Harry. Seeing his father nod, James glanced back to Teddy who was looking pointedly at to his left, making it hard for him to read his face. Something cold dropped into his stomach, spreading it's iciness through his chest, all the way down to his toes and up to his head. Something wasn't quite right with that.

"They were about to make breakfast, but your father chose to come home with us instead," Ginny said firmly.

"Mum bought all sorts of stuff to make," Lily chattered. "Eggs, sausage, bacon, scones, fruit, tea, juice…You name it, I'm sure she bought it! Oh, and Nana sent a raspberry cake with blueberry frosting with strawberries and cherries all over the top! Then Aunt Audrey sent some sort of brownies made of white and milk chocolate with raspberry and blackberry swirl all in it! They're both wonderful! Mum and I think they're having a baking competition again. Lucy and Molly are so lucky! Don't tell Nana, but I think Aunt Audrey's was actually better this go-round. But you'll see for yourself when we get home!"

"I'm not going home," James said absently, still looking from Harry to Teddy. The back of Teddy's neck was red while Harry was doing his best to avoid eye contact with everyone. Slowly, James began shaking his head, laughing. "Don't tell me you know Ted."

There was silence. James jumped to his feet, glaring accusingly at his lover. "You know?"

"I've always known," Teddy said quietly. "I lived with them when I was five until I was nine because Grandmother was very ill. I was seven when he was pregnant. I knew something was going on, they had to tell me. They made me swear not to tell. Don't be mad, I honestly haven't thought of it in years. It just…it never crosses my mind."

"You made him promise not to tell?" James snapped. "It's one thing to keep this sort of thing from the world, from your own children. That's awful enough. But…I can't believe it! You forced a seven year old to keeping your secret, too?"

"It's not like that! We didn't force him into anything!" Ginny exclaimed. "We only explained that it would be best if no one else knew. We wouldn't have done anything if he had…said anything. We only hoped he wouldn't. We couldn't hide it from him, but…You don't know what it was like, James."

"Damn right, I don't!" he snapped, pacing the floor in front of the chair. While he would, later on, find cause to be irritated with Teddy for not telling him, right now, he could only think of it as just one more sin of his parents. One more thing to hate them for. "I'm never coming home. You need to leave."

"James, you are still sixteen years old. You are still our child. And you will come home as you were told," Harry said sternly.

"You can't make me!" James snapped.

"I get that you're upset, but you are acting very immature right now. You are still a minor and, as such, you will do as you are told. I'm not going to let you run around doing whatever you want because you're upset with me. I'm still your father…"

"You are not! You're not my father. Because I sure as hell do not want to be your son!" James snapped.

Lily gasped. Ginny closed her eyes, bowing her head, rubbing her temples with her fingers. Teddy groaned as he stood up, approaching James cautiously from behind. Harry faltered, blinking in surprise, pain seeping deeper into his green eyes. James gasped, feeling the hurt slam into his chest, that awful plague of guilt filling his stomach until he felt sick. He did his best to remain standing tall, holding his ground, glancing away only briefly but meeting his father's eyes bravely. While he was mad, he didn't really mean it. The fact that it seemed to hurt Harry so much bothered him. But it also allowed for some small feeling of satisfaction to settle.

"If you do not come willingly," Harry went on, voice hard, cracking midway through. "Then I will call the Auror station and have them escort you home. Do I make myself clear?"

James gritted his teeth, but the action didn't hold half of the fury he had been possessed of just minutes ago. It was hard to feel as angry as he deserved to be when he felt so rotten about what he had done. Unwilling to give up the fight, though, he glared, saluting his father, grumbling out a sarcastic, "Yes, sir."

Harry nodded then stood up to head to the fireplace. Ginny trailed after him while Lily sat on the couch, staring in horror at James. Unable to stand it, he made a rude face at her so that she blinked then glared. The heat in her brown eyes held nothing but contempt as he jumped up then followed her parents into the Floo.

There was a hand on his arm, offering a squeeze. "I'm so sorry. At least try to get through the day with them. You know you're always welcome back here, if you need me. Us."

Us? Teddy and Victoire, of course. More hurt than annoyed, James yanked his arm away then marched towards the fireplace. "Right. Thanks," he spat as he grabbed the Floo powder, catching only a glimpse of Teddy's confused face before he was taken away.

Upon waking, Albus and Rose dove right into the same conversations they had before fallen asleep during the night before: schoolwork, eagerness to see how they had done on their OWLs, and boys.

"They may be a bit odd, but the Scamander twins are very good looking," Rose confessed, face burning red. Her irritation with Lorcan and Lysander's strangeness echoed her own mother's thoughts of Luna in her youth.

"They aren't that strange," Albus said. "I can see the appeal in Lysander."

"Why not both? Aren't they twins?" Rose teased.

"Yes," Albus grinned. "But they're not identical. They resemble each other a great deal. But Lorcan's more athletic so has a bigger build. I dunno, maybe it's because I know Lysander better, I guess. But I've always thought of him more than his brother."

"This may sound bad but have you…have you ever thought of them as a…in a threesome or something?" Rose asked, face burning even redder.

"Rose Eleanor Weasley, I can't believe you!" Albus laughed.

"I didn't say I did! Only asked if you had."

"No, I haven't. Have you?"

"Once. Okay? Once!"

"Right," Albus said, still grinning. "Not a bad thought, though. Thanks for that."

"Gross. You're welcome."

"What about Malfoy? You're awfully chummy with him."

"We've never done anything."

"Have you tried?"

"No!"

"Has he?"

"No. Strangely enough."

"Have you thought about it?"

Rose was quiet for a minute then sighed. "Okay, yes. But even you have to admit he's very fit!"

"I don't have to admit anything," Albus said, shaking his head. "He's a prick."

"He has one, yes, so I thought you might like him."

"Rose!"

"Sorry, sorry. But he's honestly not bad. And he is good looking."

"Well, I have seen worse."

"Oh goodness. Next thing we know you'll be proposing marriage to him!"

"…This is the last time I tell you anything."

The two friends laughed before spending a few minutes more drooling over their new Ancient Runes teacher, Professor Smythe. They then snuggled closer to look through one of the magazines they had nicked from Hugo's room the day before. Only a few minutes were dedicated to ogling the various Quidditch players before there was a knock on the door. "Rose!" came Hermione's voice. "I need you to clean the kitchen, please!"

Rose sighed heavily. "Yes, Mum!" she called, reluctantly handing the magazine to Albus. He closed it then followed her out of bed. "You don't have to help, you know," she giggled. "You can keep reading…I mean gawking."

"As if you weren't," Albus said. Despite everyone assuring him that, as a guest, he wasn't expected to do anything, he still felt bad not helping out. When Rose opened the door, Hermione was standing in the hallway, arguing with Hugo about why he had to clear up the attic.

"Albus!" Hermione said as he began to head downstairs with Rose. "I was actually wondering if you mind helping me organize my library? I allowed access to some of my colleagues during a meeting last week and none of them seem to know how to put things where they belong."

Albus cringed sympathetically. "Sure thing." He hated when people visited the library in his own house then put things back where they didn't belong or just left them lying about. There was nothing to think twice about as he followed his aunt into the library. It wasn't until she closed, locked, and Silenced the room that he realized what was going on. She wanted to talk to him. He was pretty sure he knew what it was about. The realization left him momentarily paralyzed as he struggled to make a decision about what to do. He was trapped here! He had no choice but to hear her out. It wasn't as though he'd have much of a choice with his parents for much longer, either.

"Err…Where to start?" he asked nervously.

"Over here," she said, motioning for him to follow her to a nearby bookshelf. The books here were so wildly out of order, some even shoved in backwards or upside down, that Albus could conclude that nothing more had happened than Hermione sweeping through here, purposefully rearranging the entire bookshelf for this excuse to work. This job was so awful that it couldn't have been done by just laziness and carelessness. This had motive to it. He made no comment on it, only helping Hermione remove books then placed them on a nearby table. When the shelves were empty, they sat down then began to stack the books in alphabetical order, aiming to get that done before shelving to make the process easier.

Hermione finally spoke after a few minutes of silent organization. "Your mother wants you and your brother home for brunch."

"She does?" Albus asked carefully.

"Mhm. She firecalled this morning. She's off to collect your father and James before she comes here," she explained.

"Oh," Albus said.

A few minutes later, Hermione continued. "They love you, you know?"

"Guilt trips and manipulations should only be employed by parents, you know," Albus muttered. Then, realizing how rude that sounded, frowned. "Sorry."

"Don't be," Hermione said. "I only thought it might be easier to hear the truth from someone else."

"So you know?"

"Yes," she said. "We've always known. Me, Ron, Luna, Rolf, Neville and Hannah. We were all very good friends. Your dad needed the support group. I warned him it would come out, but he didn't listen. You Potters are stubborn, you know?"

Albus snorted. "Yeah, I know."

"Good," Hermione said. "Now, I'm not going to defend what they did. But I'm not going to stand for badmouthing them, either. I only want to tell you the truth."

"The truth? Novel concept," Albus said, moving half of his pile to the side in order to place Anwen's Secrets to Surviving Arachnophobia on top of Apples to Oranges: How to Make Differences Work Without Getting Yourself Arrested, then placing the other seven books back on top of it.

"I'm sure you think so," Hermione smiled wryly. "The whole thing is rather complicated. I'm not sure even I know all of it. But the fact is that Harry only kept this a secret because it was what Severus wanted. I don't think he took it seriously until Severus made himself very clear. It hurt your father to know that he wanted to keep it all hidden. He felt like he wasn't important enough to Snape, that James wasn't important enough to him for him to come out of hiding. So, he went along with it, did a lot of very nasty things to spite him, and tangled himself so much in this situation that there was no getting out of it. Ginny went along with it because it was what your father wanted. What Harry wanted.

"To them, it was easier passing James off as Ginny's child. For Harry, it meant a way to preserve his marriage to Ginny as well as having this picture perfect family he had been deprived of as a child, and had always craved. Normalcy is something that has always been important to him. Face it, a life with Severus, being a pregnant male, none of the life he could have had with Snape was normal. So while he l…loved Severus, wanted to be with him, he also didn't fight too hard against the idea and for good reason.

"Ginny, bless her heart, loves Harry and always has. He was willing to stay with her, raise a family, and she was willing to do it. For him. I think she believed that it was the end of his relationship with Severus. That it was something he needed to get out of his system and was done with. It was easy to forgive Harry for his wrongdoings when he was so apologetic, so sincere. He said he loved her, and she believed him. I believe him. But that's something I'll discuss later. The thing was that, at the time, Ginny thought it was something they could work through. She loved him too much to abandon him when he needed her the most, and she saw that, while things were hard, they would get better, so why throw away the things that mattered to her the most when she knew in her heart that things would change.

"She was wrong on that count, obviously. But she was so convinced that it would be different. It was worth it to her, you know? She just…loved him. So much. Always has, always will, and that was her downfall."

"As for Severus… His reasons for keeping things quiet are a bit more convoluted. Did he want to keep the truth of his survival secret? Yes. Did coming out as the father of Harry Potter's child make that impossible? Yes. Was that the only reason he wanted to keep it hidden? No. There are many reasons he was so adamant about keeping this a secret. The most obvious reasons are his selfish ones. He'll never let anyone believe anything else. Severus likes his life, didn't want to change anything.

"But it was more than that. He would never just give up on his child for those reasons alone, no matter what he'd have you believe. Severus Snape is a very secretive man, very closed off, hard to get through to, complicated…so many things. It's challenging trying to understand him and his motives."

"Then how do you seem to know so much about them?" Albus asked curiously.

Hermione smiled. "While he would rather die than admit it, we've become very good friends."

That did make sense. Sometimes, over the years, Ron, Hermione, Rose, and Hugo would visit Snape with them. Sometimes even the Scamanders and Longbottoms would as well. He never thought much about it, but Hermione was one of the few people Snape seemed truly comfortable around, someone he talked to a lot and it made sense. They were both highly intelligent people. Albus, himself, loved talking to both of them, admired their talents and their minds. He never thought they communicated outside of those meetings for them to be so close but, out of everyone he knew, Hermione getting on with Snape that well made perfect sense.

"Severus, much like Harry, never really knew what it was like to have a real family. It's one of many things they bonded over. I won't get into the details because it's not my story to tell, but his parents were not the best. While the lack of parental figures encouraged Harry to be a good parent, Severus was never so optimistic. He had never liked children while teaching, didn't think he could handle having his own. The prospects of how he would be as a father were not very promising with the only role models he had. To him, it was better for you and James to grow up with Harry and Ginny. They could give you a good life. Never knowing that Severus was your father meant that you would never know what it was like to have a parent that couldn't be good enough for you. Couldn't care for you, he might have thought to start with. He knows himself well, though he would never be a good enough parent to you. You both deserved so much better, in his mind.

"He does love you, though. Throughout Harry's pregnancy, I think he doubted it was possible. It tormented him. I saw that. He never knew what things would be like. But, the first time he ever held James it was evident. That alone probably reinforced all of his ideas that he had to step aside, let Harry and Ginny take their roles, and be there for you the only way he thought he could. As your godfather. No matter how much he loves you, he could never be the type of parent that Harry or Ginny are. Not necessarily bad, but different. I think you know that. Parenthood is awkward to him. He doesn't know quite how to fill the role of father.

"Maybe that's not a good enough excuse to you. Personally, I've tried many times to convince him otherwise, but he's always stood firm in his decision. It was probably easier to hold onto the secret the longer they kept it. Life was easier this way, at least in their minds. Even now, it's so hard to explain it properly. I'm not them. I only base all of this off of my own observations and what they've all spoken to me of. It might not make sense why they did it. None of their reasons are good enough. They should never have lied to you, or the rest of the family. It isn't good for any of you. But, while they made a mistake, it doesn't change the fact that they love you. All of them. They all love you so much. What they did was wrong. They know that. But please, Albus, give them a chance. Hear them out. They only want what's best for you, whether or not their ideas align with everyone else's."

"Seems to me they were more worried about themselves," Albus said quietly, brows furrowed as he thought of everything his aunt had told him.

Hermione smiled sadly. "I know. I'm not saying they had no selfish motivations at all. Honestly, those selfish thoughts probably created the ones that made them see this as the best option for you. No one said they were the smartest people in the world. Will you at least think about it, Albus? Regardless of what they've done, they are your family."

Albus said nothing for a few minutes, letting it all sink in as he shoved Do It Yourself Household Charms under Creative Curses: 178 Horrifyingly Hilarious Tales of Spells Gone Wrong. Their supposed reasons for keeping the secret just made him feel all the worse. Ginny wanted to keep her husband, Harry and Snape wanted to keep their respective lives, and so on. Any other reason sounded more like an excuse. He was still upset that they had lied to him, though most of the hurt he had clung to disappeared when James found out and exploded. It was hard to know what he really felt about all of it. He had no idea what to even do about it. But he did care about them. Even Snape.

Finally, Albus let his head fall back, sighing heavily as he stared up at the ceiling. Then, sitting up straight to look at Hermione's expectant look, said, "I'll try. I promise."

"Good. Thank you for listening to me," she said with a smile. "And, thank you for your help. But, I'm sure your parents will be coming to get you any minute now, if you want to go on and wait for them."

He might have actually preferred staying to help Hermione finish. There were so many books here. Several of the titles had caught his eye or reminded him of books he already owned and wanted to reread. Everything she had told him had also given him so much more to think about and he didn't want to face them until he understood himself better. But, remembering his promise to give them a chance, Albus nodded and stood up. He hesitated before leaving, then walked around the table to give her a tight hug and a kiss on the cheek that she smiled at then returned.

It was the most elaborate meal Ginny had prepared in years. Every breakfast food they could think of and then some was spread all across the table. It really was a shame that no one seemed to be in a good enough mood to enjoy it. Harry sat at the head of the table, per usual, while Ginny made the point of sitting on one side of the table next to Albus instead. Lily made sure to sit close to her father, even dragging her chair closer to him while glaring at James. who ignored her, scooting his own chair a few inches away, as well. Only Albus took his usual seat, uncomfortable with the tension, looking very much as though he wished to say something, but was trying hard to hold it back.

They all filled their plates and began eating in silence. James seemed determined to ignore everyone, immediately shoving food into his mouth, not stopping, as though he hoped to be done and out of there as soon as possible. Ginny seemed determined to play this as cool as possible, not starting a scene, but also making it very clear that things were far from being okay. Lily seemed hesitant, starting to look more like Albus, as though she were bursting to say something. Both looked as though they actually had something on their minds. Harry wanted to speak, but his problem was not having any ideas as to what to go through with. So he just ate, feeling very much like an unwelcome guest in his own home. There was no one to blame but himself. He was the one who had allowed this to happen. He was ashamed of himself. He hated himself. What if they couldn't fix things? What if his children hated him forever? What if Ginny left? What if Snape became fed up and decided he wanted nothing more to do with him? Harry was very well aware that. by the end of this, he could end up with nothing at all. That idea made him sick to his stomach.

"Daddy?" Lily said timidly after several moments.

Everyone stopped eating, turning to face her. She blushed, but kept her eyes on her father.

"Erm…Yes, Lil?"

"I was wondering if you and mum had ever thought to…to go see Marietta?" she asked.

Harry quirked an eyebrow then shared a confused look with his wife. "Um…We saw Dudley and Marietta about a month ago. Why?"

"No, I mean…Well…Maybe we could go see them? Before term starts back?" she suggested.

"We normally do. Would you like to go soon?" Harry asked uncertainly. The kids never really liked visiting their Dursley relatives. Ever since the war ended, though, Harry tried to keep in good terms with his cousin. They weren't exactly close, but they got on well enough now. Funny how they had always hated magic then Dudley ended up marrying a witch! Ginny had never been happy with the arrangement, as she had never quite forgiven Marietta for blabbing about the D.A. their fifth year, but Harry had managed to do so. She was a very nice woman these days. She and Dudley seemed to have brought out the best in each other. Their kids, Daisy and Douglas, had. Unfortunately, turned out a bit rotten, but Lily and Daisy started getting along when the latter started Hogwarts while Lily was in her second year. They still annoyed each other sometimes, but that was only natural. While they didn't hate each other, it was still a rare day when Lily wanted to go over there.

"Erm…Yeah. Sooner the better, maybe. And we can all talk to Marietta," Lily said anxiously.

"Uhh…Sure," Harry said, still confused. Ginny appeared thoughtful, but Albus was the one to understand his sister first.

"I think she's referring to the fact that Marietta is a therapist, Dad," Albus said quietly.

"Oh," Harry said surprised. After Hogwarts, Marietta had gotten degrees in both magical and Muggle psychology. Nowadays, she ran a very nice business in the Muggle world, treating anyone who came her way. Harry had seen her, off and on. for a bit after the war, trying to recover, but never really stuck with it. She always wanted him to relive things, to talk about things he didn't want to get into, things that were better left in the past.

"Like…There's couple's therapy and family therapy so…Maybe you and Mum could talk to her, then all of us…Then James by himself, since he's such a prat."

"Lily," Ginny said warningly.

"Shut up, Lil," James snapped.

"James. Stop it," Harry said.

"Yes, Father," James muttered sarcastically.

Ginny's mouth twisted, eyes narrowed furiously at her son. Her hands gripped her fork tightly. She looked ready to slam her fists into the table, to snap at him, but Harry reached out to touch her hand, to calm her down. She spun around, glaring at him now as she pulled her arm away. He quickly pulled back, partly concerned about her and partly hurt by her reaction. That was to be expected, though. Ginny was mad. The kids were all upset with both of them, which wasn't fair, as none of this was her fault.

"I love you, Daddy," Lily said.

"Suck up," James said.

"At least she's not being an arse," Albus said quietly.

"What did you just say?" James demanded.

"Albus, you know how I feel about that language," Ginny scolded.

"James, seriously, you need to calm down," Albus said.

"Why is it that everyone else is so okay with this?" James demanded, slamming his fork down as he stood up. "It's not okay!"

"No. it's not. But neither is you acting like a prat to everyone," Albus said.

"Stop fighting," Harry said. "James, sit down."

"No. I'm not going to sit here and pretend that I'm fine when I'm not," James said, shaking his head. "This is so fucked up! Don't you see that?"

"I know it's hard," Harry said. "But you need to…"

"Stop telling me what I need to do! Fuck!"

"James!" Ginny hissed.

"Great. Just great. He's the lying cheater yet I'm the one everyone's upset with. That makes perfect sense!" James retorted sarcastically.

"No one's upset with you," Harry said.

"I am," Lily piped up.

"Not now, Lil," Albus whispered.

"Doesn't matter. I already know!" James began raking his fingers through his wild hair. Seeing how upset he was, the pain in his eyes as well as that rage, familiar black eyes brimming with unfamiliar tears, made Harry's heart ache. Never in his life had he regretted the decision to keep his secret as much as he did now. The life his children had would have been so different. It wouldn't have been the best life, but none of them would be dealing with this now. Harry set down his own fork and began rubbing his temples. James was right. This really was messed up. "I can't be here. I can't. I need to go."

"Then go to your room," Ginny snapped.

"No. I can't. I'm leaving. I can't be here."

"James, do not…"

"Just let him go," Harry said in quiet defeat.

That was all James needed to spin on his heel and head towards the nearest Floo.

"Harry!" Ginny exclaimed. "You can't just let him run off every time he's upset."

"Good riddance. He's a prat," Lily said, taking a sip of her orange juice.

"No, Mum's right," Albus said. "He's never going to deal with it if we just let him do whatever he wants."

"We'll get him tomorrow. Just let him cool down," Harry said, shoving his plate away.

"And you? Do you need to go cool down?" Ginny asked coldly.

He cringed. Was he going to run off to Snape's, in other words? It was tempting. Right now, it was hard to want to stay here. Ginny was so upset with him, James was furious, he wasn't sure what to make of Albus, and only Lily seemed alright with things, which surprised him. To think he could have enjoyed a nice breakfast with Snape. Maybe he could have found a reason to find himself in Snape's arms again. Perhaps he'd let Snape kiss him again.

Bad thoughts. He shouldn't be thinking like that. Not with his wife in the room. Not around the kids.

"I'm staying right here," Harry assured her. "I have to go into work for a few hours around two, but I'll be here."

The look in Ginny's eyes was more triumphant than glad, her lips stubbornly pressed into that unhappy line. She deserved to hate him, more than anyone else. It didn't stop him wishing he could make her smile, make her stop treating him this way. The guilt was becoming more than he could bear.

"I'll owl Marietta, I think," Harry sighed as he got to his feet.

"Sooner the better," Ginny said, agreeing with her daughter's earlier sentiments.

"Maybe we can all play Quidditch later?" Lily asked hopefully.

Harry and Ginny looked from their daughter to each other. A family day? Without James and after all of this? It was hard to deny her, but it was also going to be a hassle trying to get into it.

"Sounds fun!" said Albus, who hated flying.

"You all better go get ready then," said Harry as he headed to his office. It wouldn't take long to write and send the letter, but he'd be sure to take his time with it. He was going to need to be strong for his children, put on a smile for their sake, even as he wanted nothing more than to run back to Snape. That feeling only intensified as he considered that, maybe, the only way to fix this problem was to cut ties with the man altogether.

The very thought of it hurt far more than he could bear.

Author's Note: Hope you all enjoyed! Big thanks to my reviewers, my amazing beta, and my reader for making this chapter possible!
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The Best Kept Secrets