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The Joke Book Trap	By : TalisRuadair Category: Harry Potter > Het - Male/Female > Draco/Hermione Views: 10791 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: The Harry Potter Series (1997-2007) and any characters and original locations within the books belong to JK Rowling. I am not making any money from this fiction. Pride and Prejudice belongs to Jane Austen.

Chapter List
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Chapter Four – Summoning Charms

Nott had checked out the Hogwarts copy of Pride and Prejudice. He had always been a fast reader and got through the story within a couple of hours. He had a feeling what the note meant when it stated “read aloud” was that reading the original book without speaking the words wouldn’t suck him into the story, and fortunately for him his assumption was correct. He read about Hermione’s walk through the country side and attempting a few spells. Her thoughts were even depicted in the words of the text and he soon realized that magic worked within the story and any deviation from the original story lead to a change in the story in the Weasley version. Nott chuckled at the idea of what changes Draco and Hermione could make to the story he’d just read. Also, knowing his friend as much as he did, he wrote a quick note and slipped it in the Hogwarts copy of the book. He then placed both of the books in the pocket of his robes.

He smiled when a few moments later the original copy of the Jane Austen work disappeared from his pocket. He shook his head and opened the book, wondering how Draco would react when he read the letter from him. Would the cool façade of his friend fade when he realized the Elizabeth Bennet in the story was none other than the actual Hermione Granger from his world? Nott couldn’t shake the feeling that the two might come out of the story similar to the original characters. However, all happy thoughts were lost when he realized his character version in the novel was married to none other than Astoria Greengrass. He quickly closed the book as he felt his stomach lurch. There was no way he would ever marry one of the Greengrass leaches, as they were just as bad as Pansy Parkinson or Lavender Brown. He preferred someone with a bit more intelligence.

Draco tried not to pay too much attention to the Hermione look alike, though he couldn’t quite keep his eyes from wandering over to her every once in a while. He was quite pleased when she returned to her sister Jane right after dinner. Upon her leaving the room the she-weasel spoke horribly her in her absence. She explained how her manners were impaling; she had no conversational abilities, no style, and no beauty. Astoria took note of the ginger’s comments and added, “She has nothing, in short, to recommend her, but being an excellent walker. I shall never forget her appearance this morning. She really looked almost wild.”*

The she-weasel’s brown eyes lit with agreement, “She did, indeed, Louisa. I could hardly keep my countenance. Very nonsensical to come at all! Why must she be scampering about the country, because her sister had a cold? Her hair, so untidy, so blowsy!”*

Draco couldn’t help but roll his eyes at the conversation between the two women. It reminded him much of the conversations he’d overheard from Pansy Parkinson and the Greengrass sisters. However, the conversation really didn’t seem to fit the personality of the tomboyish Weasley. He was quite appalled to hear such insipid dialogue flying out of her mouth faster than her bat-boogie hex. He knew for certain that she was only an imprint on the character much like Theo’s character. The man had nothing of substance to the well versed and knowledgeable counterpart back at the castle. The look alike that stood before him was a cheap copy that didn’t have any of the features of the real Theo. He shook his head as he noticed a question was directed at him by Miss Bingley, “You observed it, Mr. Darcy, I am sure, and I am inclined to think that you would not wish to see your sister make such an exhibition.”*

The blond swallowed for a moment as he thought over the question. Knowing how negatively the horrible woman before him was speaking, he couldn’t help but answer in the manner expected of him and the character he was portraying, “Absolutely not.”**

However, if he knew it would cause her to continue on about her degradation of the Hermione imposter, then he wouldn’t have responded at all. Her nose was slightly scrunched in disgust as she spoke, “To walk three miles, or four miles, or five miles, or whatever it is, above her ankles in dirt, and alone, quite alone! What could she mean by it? It seems to me to show and abominable sort of conceited independence, a most country-town indifference to decorum.”*

The long haired ginger cut in, “It shows an affection for her sister that is very pleasing.”*

Draco attempted to mask his cringe when Miss Bingley half whispered to him, “I am afraid, Mr. Darcy, that this adventure has rather affected your admiration of her fine eye.”*

In that simple sentence, the Gryffindor Chaser gave away her hand. He understood completely why she was speaking so poorly of Eliza Bennet, as she was jealous that he’d admitted to her previously that he’d been admiring Hermione’s mischief filled brown eyes. He used his cold and emotionless tone, “Not at all, as her eyes were brightened by the exercise.”**

Astoria’s eyes widened before she continued with the conversation, “I have an excessive regard for Miss Jane Bennet, she is really a very sweet girl, and I wish with all my heart she were well settled. But with such a father and mother, and such low connections, I am afraid there is no chance of it.”*

Theo popped in with an unusual observation, “I think I have heard you say that their uncle is an attorney on Meryton.”*

Astoria smiled, “Yes; and they have another, who lives somewhere near Cheapside.”*

“That is capital,”* her sister added before the two of them burst into fits of giggles.

Draco understood this conversation as growing up with wealth; one always discussed the business of marriage. However, in the Wizarding world among the elite, one’s blood status was considered before one’s wealth. Bingley didn’t seem too happy about his sister’s making fun of his love interest as he defended, “If they had uncles enough to fill all Cheapside, it would not make them on jot less agreeable.”*

It was late before Hermione left her sisters side and joined his group down stairs. She seemed to walk past the card game going on in the room and stated that she’d much rather read a book. Draco had to force himself not to smirk at her reading, as Hermione was well known for all of her “light reading” at Hogwarts.

However, when she declined Theo’s dark eyes filled with astonishment, which didn’t fit the real person’s personality, “Do you prefer reading to cards? That is rather singular.”*

Harry Potter’s girlfriend answered for her, “Miss Eliza Bennet despises cards. She is a great reader, and has no pleasure in anything else.”*

For a moment, Draco thought he saw a glare grace Hermione’s features before she refuted the other woman’s previous statement, “I deserve neither such praise nor such censure. I am not a great reader, and I have pleasure in many things.”*

The smitten ginger looked up, “In nursing your sister I am sure you have pleasure and I hope it will be soon increased by seeing her quite well.”*

“Thank you,”** Hermione smiled and approached a table where a few book lie.

Bingley followed her and offered to fetch her anything her heart desired from his library, “And I wish my collection were larger for your benefit and my own credit; but I am an idle fellow, and though I have not many, I have more than I ever looked into.”*

“That is quite alright. I’m quite able to make do with the books present.”**

Draco felt his stomach churn as the sickening woman up there with Parkinson and the Greengrass sisters turned toward him, “I am astonished that my father should have left so small a collection of books. What a delightful library you have at Pemberley, Mr. Darcy!”*

Draco did roll his eyes knowing the proper statement to her blatant attempt at flattery, “It ought to be as it’s the work of many generations.”** He knew the same could be said about the vast library at Malfoy Manor; however it surely contained far different books than of what the muggle characters spoke.

She didn’t stop there with the flattery, “And then you have added so much to it yourself, you are always buying books.”*

“I would never neglect the family library in days like these.”** He knew that he purchased quite a few books and had added them to the library when he was done reading them. Knowledge could be found within the books, and it was always important to have that accessible for future generations.

Her voice rose in pitch reminiscent of the whining of Pansy and it grated on Draco’s ears as much as it affected his nerves, “Neglect! I am sure you neglect nothing that can add to the beauties of that noble place. Charles, when you build your house, I wish it may be half as delightful as Pemberley.”*

Her brother looked up, “I wish it may.”*

Draco clenched his teeth as the annoying twittering beside him continued, “But I would really advise you to make your purchase in that neighborhood, and take Pemberley for a kind of model. There is not a finer county in England than Derbyshire.”*

His eyes twinkled with amusement, “With all my heart; I will buy Pemberley itself if Darcy will sell it.”*

She crossed her arms and pouted like a petulant child, “I am talking of possibilities, Charles.”*

One red eyebrow rose and his arm quickly crossed his heart to show sincerity, “Upon my word, Caroline, I should think it more possible to get Pemberley by purchase than by imitation.”*

Hermione set the book down and approached the card table. She took a seat next to Bingley and Astoria and seemed to be observing the game. Draco much rather stare at her features from across the table than listen to anymore of the blood traitors inane flattery and flirting, but alas the vapid little thing continued on with the conversation. “Is Miss Darcy much grown since the spring? Will she be as tall as I am?”*

That question threw Draco for a moment as he’d yet to meet Darcy’s sister, he had nothing to go off of, and so when in doubt he did what he does best, he lied. “I think she will. Currently she’s about the height of Miss Elizabeth Bennet or perhaps a bit taller.”**

The excitement laced her voice as her conversation picked up in speed, again another annoying trait that made Draco want to stupefy the woman just so she’d shut up, “How I long to see her again! I never met with anybody who delighted me so much. Such a countenance, such manners! And so extremely accomplished for her age! Her performance on the pianoforte is exquisite.”*

A smile spread across the easy going red head’s face as he spoke, “It is amazing to me how young ladies can have patience to be so very accomplished as they all are.”*

The she-weasel’s eyes light up as she gasped, “All young ladies accomplished! My dear Charles, what do you mean?”*

The scarred man nodded, “Yes, all of them, I think. They all paint tables, cover screens, and net purses. I scarcely know anyone who cannot do all this, and I am sure I never heard a young lady spoken of for the first time, without being informed that she was very accomplished.”

Draco felt the need to speak, “You seem to generalize the concept of accomplished my friend. I fear I know not more than six, in all of my acquaintance that are truly accomplished.”**

The bane of his existence was quick to agree, “Nor I, I am sure.”*

Hermione clasped her hands on the table and leaned forward, “Then you must comprehend a great deal in your idea of an accomplished woman.”*

Draco raised an eyebrow, “Yes, I do.”**

Miss Bingley popped in with more, “Oh! Certainly no one can be really esteemed accomplished who does not greatly surpass what is usually met with. A woman must have a thorough knowledge of music, singing, drawing, dancing, and the modern languages, to deserve the word; and besides all this, she must possess a certain something in her air and manner of walking, the tone of her voice, her address and expressions, or the word will be but half-deserved.”*

Draco agreed with her for the first time that night. He knew that if he did have a sister she would’ve been taught all of that, however there was something the woman beside him forgot, “Yes, she must possess all of that as well as having a great knowledge from extensive reading.”** He wanted to sigh because his last statement really did speak for the Know-it-all Granger, however he was sure she lacked the musical training, but then again didn’t he see her sing but days before? He shook his head and reminded himself that was just the character and thus didn’t speech for the witch back in his reality.

Hermione’s eyes met his and there seemed something more behind them, as if she were personally challenging him, “I am no longer surprised at your knowing only six accomplished women. I rather wonder now at your knowing any.”*

“Are you so severe on your own gender’s ability?”** It popped out of his mouth before he could think. Did she really think that it was impossible for women to exist as described in the pure-blood elite? He knew that she was not of that group, and if she really were the Mudblood Granger then her modern Muggle World would be appalled by what was described.

“I never saw such a woman. I never saw such capacity, and taste, and application, and elegance, as you described united.”*

Draco nodded in agreement that Hermione would’ve never met a woman as describe as none surely existed in the neighborhood she grew up in. However Astoria and the she-weasel were busy crying out and complaining like children. Should women their age surely act in such a manner? He couldn’t help but wonder before Theo called them to order and Draco sighed with relief when the noise came to a close. The conversation ended and Hermione excused herself from the room.

As soon as the door closed behind her, the she devil decided to make another remark, “Elizabeth Bennet is one of those young ladies who seek to recommend themselves to the other sex by undervaluing their own; and with many men, I dare say, it succeeds. But, in my opinion, it is a paltry device, a very mean art.”*

Draco agreed remembering all of the little tricks Slytherin women were using since he’d returned to Hogwarts to secure him as their husband. “Undoubtedly, however I find meanness in all of the arts women implore to present a lack of intelligence to receive the captivation of another. Though I may sometimes value cleverness and cunning, I have no desire to be manipulated.”**

When Hermione returned she stated that her sister had gotten worse and that she didn’t feel comfortable with leaving her. The healer, Mr. Jones, was to be sent for if she didn’t seem better in the morning. Draco could tell that his red headed acquaintance and Darcy’s friend was quite concerned and taken with the older Bennet sister. He also noticed his friend instruct his housekeeper to keep an eye on the sick lady and her sister. Seeing as much affection the man before him showed for such a new acquaintance, made Draco a bit jealous. Why couldn’t he develop such feelings for a woman? Why was he so closed off and unwilling to find fondness in the opposite sex? He had a fascination with Hermione Granger, but knew that no one would look favorable up on such a match. He shook his head realizing he needed to retire as the conversations he’d partaken had affected his own thinking. He hadn’t thought in full Queen’s English since he was a young boy.

Draco sat in his private quarters that night. Thinking of the conversations that had passed during the day, and remembering his wand. He’d found it in his pant pocket not to long after he acclimated to his new reality. He couldn’t help but wonder if the magic worked within the muggle reality and automatically attempted to apparate out, however the creator of the book must’ve put anti-apparition wards on it. He was able to light the lantern in his room with a simple spell. He wondered how much easier it would be to play the Darcy character if he knew what he was supposed to say and the plot of the book. A thought quickly struck him as he realized that summing charms weren’t usually warded against. He raised his unicorn hair core wand, Harry had given back to him after mending his phoenix feather wand, and muttered, “Accio Pride and Prejudice book.” He was surprised to see that a copy of the book landed in his hand only a second later. He mused that it must’ve somehow been somewhere close. He was even more shocked when he opened the book and found the label from Hogwarts. So, he could summon things from his reality. He filed that fact to the back of his mind as he read the folded piece of parchment within the book.

Draco,

If you are reading this it means you’re as predictable as always. If you have yet to realize it, the Elizabeth Bennet within the book is the same Hermione Granger from our reality. She was sucked in before you decided to read from the book. Apparently it’s a gift from George Weasley, and it’s charmed to suck a person in when it is read from aloud. I haven’t opened the book since for fear of finding the same fate. After reading the original story, I don’t think I would survive in that reality. Unfortunately, you have to play out the whole store before you’re released. So, enjoy your alone time with Hermione. I don’t know if she’s realized you’re the real Draco and no longer the subconscious imprint on the character Darcy, the book started out with. I suggest you read this and get acquainted with the story as soon as possible.

Your friend,

Theo

Draco wanted to throw the book against the wall. How could he get sucked into this romance novel with Hermione Granger? Were they going to be trapped together forever if they didn’t reach the end of the story the way the author intended it? Would he have to play along with it? Wasn’t he already playing along with it? He’d found himself attracted to her upon entry. He sighed and lay down on his bed as he read the beginning of the story. He laughed as he read the slighting of Elizabeth Bennet at the hands of Mr. Darcy. The previous encounter with Hermione made more sense. Ah of course, Mr. Darcy was misunderstood. Draco smirked as he read that Mrs. Bennet, which he saw as portrayed by the Weasley matriarch, had sent Jane to them on horseback knowing they wouldn’t send her home because of the rain. He never thought the Weasley woman had a conniving bone in her body. All in an attempt to bag Mr. Bingley as a husband, he let out a sigh and fell asleep with the book still open and the thought of how close to his reality the story really was.

A/N: Well that’s a development, so I guess Hermione would’ve figured it out first if Theo hadn’t sent Draco that letter. She didn’t need the book because she has it memorized. Theo and Draco both being pure-bloods had never read the literature. However, we don’t know what she has figured it out as we were in Draco’s head this chapter. I hope you enjoyed it. I admit that I still plan on having the original characters remain in character and the plot lines of the original book to remain, however Draco and Hermione have the opportunity to change their dialog and reaction to certain situations. So, I do plan on making some more noticeable changes in the foreseeable future. I hope everyone continues to enjoy the ride.

*All dialogued marked is *quoted or **paraphrased from chapter eight of Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice(1813). The scenes are also derived from those chapters. The only things original to me are Draco's thoughts. I don't even own the magic used in the last scene though I did use my own words.
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The Joke Book Trap