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Just Let Me Die	By : TalisRuadair Category: Harry Potter > Het - Male/Female > Draco/Hermione Views: 25079 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: Disclaimer: The Harry Potter Series (1997-2007) and any characters and original locations within the books belong to JK Rowling. I am not making any profit from this, as this is only written for practice.

Chapter List
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Chapter Four – Into the Pensieve

It didn’t take much convincing for a high profile patient, like Draco Malfoy, to be moved. They understood the circumstances and his fragile mental state. Ernie had at least done his job and brought the memories to his superiors. Seeing the number of times Draco endured the Cruciatus Curse, made it easy to move him to the floor designated for its treatment. After his move, Hermione secured the right to have his room completely warded. She called Harry and he warded the room personally only allowing Narcissa, Greg, Hermione, him, and Rosy to leave and enter the room. The wards also prevented Draco from leaving the room.

Hermione asked to borrow the hospital’s pensieve and the memories to fill Greg in on what his Hogwarts buddy had endured during his missing years. He needed to see the different forms of torture and abuse Draco lived through. She brought the pensieve with the memories to Greg’s office on the fifth floor right before his shift on the same day as Draco’s move. He seemed a little shocked to see her when he entered his office, “Granger, what brings you to my office?”

“Well Greg, I’m here to update you on your new patient. Also, I’m you’re new volunteer on this floor, so you might as well call me Hermione. You don’t mind me shadowing you, do you?” She pointed to the pensieve, “Have you ever used one of these before?”

“So, are you going to tell me about my patient or keep up with the cryptic bullshit? Also, weren’t you shadowing Ernie?” He crossed his arms. Greg was chubby in school but by what would’ve been their seventh year, he’d shot up and gained more muscle. He still kept his curly brown hair short and his ice cold blue eyes seemed to peer through a person.

She smirked, “Well, I’m the brightest witch of my age; I think I’m allowed to be cryptic. All you need to know about your patient is in the pensieve and well, I had our patient transferred for his safety. Ernie held a grudge, and I’m sure you won’t. Now get into the pensieve. I must warn you; this may be a little graphic. Do you have an iron stomach?”

“As long as it doesn’t involve sweets laced with sleeping draught,” he raised an eyebrow.

She tried to hide her blush, “Well, how else were Harry and Ron supposed to pose as you and Crabbe to find out if Draco knew anything about the Chamber of Secrets?”

Greg chuckled, “I guess they’re right about Slytherin and Gryffindor, our houses are similar in cleverness.” He dipped his hand into the Pensieve and disappeared within. Hermione followed suit with a chuckle. Upon entering they arrived in the middle of a torture scene. Draco was wreathing in pain on the floor whimpering as he clenched his teeth trying not to give into a scream. Greg was white as a ghost staring at the memory like a deer caught in the headlights. She tapped him on the shoulder and he jumped, “You could’ve told me my new patient was Draco.”

“Are you okay? You look like you’re going to be sick and the worst part hasn’t even come yet,” she warned.

“You’ve seen this already?” He looked at her taking his eyes off the now screaming Draco.

“I pulled it from my mind, after retrieving them from Draco’s, the night I was assigned to him. I vomited after scanning through his memories using Legilimency. I have to warn you, Draco’s suffered through a lot, and I fear it included all three forms of abuse.” They both turned their attention back over to the scene before them.

“Draco, do you know why you were chosen for the mission to kill Dumbledore over Snape?” Crabbe taunted. When Draco didn’t respond but only curled up in a ball on the floor, Crabbe laughed menacingly. “The Dark Lord sent you off to be slaughtered. He expected you to fail and die in the process. He wanted to teach you’re old man a lesson for failing him. That’s all you are, the son of a failure. You’re worthless,” he chuckled, “other than being a good fuck.”

Greg incredulously grunted, “No way!”

They watched in horror as the blanket was thrown off of him. Draco clenched his fists, preparing for his humiliation. Hermione closed her eyes knowing what was coming next. She still heard Draco whimper and whine. She heard the pounding noise and Crabbe moaned. She heard a loud smack noise and Crabbe groaned, “Yep, the only thing you’re good for.”

She reopened her eyes and watched as he left. She walked over to Draco and Greg followed. He remained in the same position for a few moments before he punched the stone wall sobbing. Soon Rosy showed up, she stopped the bleeding, cast a cleaning spell, offered him water, and rubbed his back. “It okay. Yous gooder. Here yous needs to eat.”

“Rosy, I’m not hungry. Can I just have a dreamless sleeping draught, please?” he pleaded.

“Here,” she handed him a vile of potion but added, “Though you should really eat. You’re getting so skinny.”

Draco drank the potion and fell asleep. Hermione hadn’t seen that memory. She wondered if Ernie had removed more memories from Draco. Were her memories not good enough? She was going to strangle him. The two of them disappeared from the pensieve and Hermione muttered under her breath, “That memory didn’t come from me. I’m going to kill Ernie. He must’ve taken that straight from Draco.”

“You’re very protective over him, aren’t you?” Greg crossed his arms waiting for her answer.

“Yes, you saw what he went though on just about a daily basis for four years. In his final year he was cared for, but he wanted nothing more than to end his life. When you see him, you’ll see why I want to protect him. He’s just so broken. He’s a shell of the man, he once was. All because Crabbe blamed him for his son’s death, you were there. Vincent was stupid,” she huffed.

“Why wasn’t he on my floor to begin with?” Greg asked, as they walked out of his office. His lime green loose robes barely moving as he walked.

“I’m not sure, but after witnessing how Ernie was ‘caring’ for him, I made sure he was moved to a floor where one of his friends was a healer. It was a bonus that this floor is for treating the Cruciatus Curse. I think he still has side effects. He was screaming and convulsing this morning after the dreamless sleeping draught wore off. Is that typical?”

Greg stopped. His face scrunched up as he thought, “The issue with the Cruciatus Curse is that it causes so many problems. Sometimes it’s nerve damage and other times it’s psychological. It all depends on the person, the extent of the exposure, and the amount of time in-between exposures.” He started walking again, “It sounds like Draco might have a mixture of psychological and physical. You said he stopped shaking after taking the dreamless potion right?”

“Yes, you know, I’ve been wondering if he was suffering from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. It’s a muggle disorder where one suffers from flashbacks, nightmares, and sometimes anything can trigger it. It can be violent and can lead to suicide. With the amount of torture he’s experienced, I’m sure he’s suffering from the wizard equivalent. I wonder if there’s any treatment for it has been developed in the Wizarding World,” they soon reached his shut door. She turned to Greg, “Harry warded his room. You are one of the few people allowed in here. When he starts improving then we’ll add Blaise, Theo, and Pansy. I just don’t want to take chances until he improves.”

“Bloody hell, you sound like you’re his mother or something,” Greg chuckled.

She rolled her eyes, “After you, healer.”

They walked into the room to find Draco sitting up in bed reading the Daily Profit. Greg joked, “Catching up on the news you missed?”

“Greg, it’s nice to see that you either found a job that doesn’t require brains or you managed to grow one in my absence,” Draco shook his head.

“I’ll go with the latter, though I’ve always been more intelligent than I acted in school. I played my role well. Everyone expected me to be you’re muscle. I swear you didn’t even know I could read in our second year. I returned to Hogwarts and reattempted my Seventh Year with Hermione,” he approached the bed.

Hermione started laughing, “Yeah, when Harry took the potion to be you that year he forgot to take off his glasses. Draco asked about them and he responded, ‘their reading glasses,’ and Draco responded with something like, ‘I didn’t know you could read.’ Of course you did fall for those levitated treats.”

“Well, Vincent really was as daft as he appeared. I usually turned to him to figure out how I needed to act. Though no one questioned my higher marks in class, that or the teachers didn’t realize I acted thick outside of class,” he ran a hand though his hair. “So, how are you feeling?”

“Polyjuice potion in second year let me guess you brewed it in the second floor girls’ bathroom?” Draco raised an eyebrow. She just nodded her head yes, “Well Greg, I’m feeling okay right now and I’m sorry for forcing you into the idiot box in school.”

“I need to look you over, so could you drop you’re robe so I can see your chest?”

“Dude, are you hitting on me?” Draco looked around uncomfortably.

“He’s a healer. He needs to look at the infected wounds on your shoulder. You should be happy he’s not asking to assess the damage to you bum,” she scolded.

He looked down as his ears turned red, “Does everyone know that happened to me?”

“I’m you’re healer, Draco. I had to know. You do understand that Vincent’s father was a sick man, and you shouldn’t blame yourself, right? Also, that doesn’t define you’re sexuality. You’re a victim,” Greg patted him on the shoulder.

“But it has affected my sexuality. I don’t want to have anything to do with it,” he looked at his hands.

Hermione didn’t know what got into her, but her heart ached for him. She approached him from the other side, and ran her fingers through his hair. “It’s okay Draco, and it’ll get better with time. Come on now, let Greg check how you’re physical wounds are healing.”

“Only if you promise to continue running your fingers through my hair,” he closed his eyes to her touch.

“I will,” she promised kissing the top of his head.

He opened his eyes, “What’s that for?”

She smiled, “Everyone deserves affection, Draco.”

“I guess so,” he mumbled pulling his gown of his arms and allowing it to pool in his lap.

Greg walked around and looked at the wounds. He checked for tender spots. He looked into his eyes, “Draco, you’re severely underweight. I want to make sure you’re eating at least three meals a day. If for any reason you end up vomiting, let me know. Sometimes when someone’s experienced the type of torture you have, it lingers, and memory induced nightmares may cause physical sickness.”

He nodded, “Yeah, I feel that way when I don’t take a potion before going to bed. With the potion I still suffer from nightmares in the early morning, but I don’t get sick.”

“Do you always convulse and scream as if you were hit with the Cruciatus Curse?”

“Yes, when I take the potion the dreams I have in the morning is about that damn curse. I get sick when I dream about the pain and the sick feeling associated with the more barbaric forms of torture he used,” tears welled up in his eyes, “It just reminds me of the only thing in which he could use me.”

“Oh Draco,” she whispered pulling him into a hug. She kissed his cheek and ran her hand up his bare back. He shuttered and she looked at him with concern, “I didn’t hurt you, did I?”

Draco shook his head no, “It just felt good. It’s like I can tell you care by your touch. It’s too good to be true.” His voice broke into a sob and she pulled him into a tighter hug allowing him to rest his head on her shoulder.

Greg cleared his throat causing Hermione to let go and jump back, “Sorry, he should probably continue to look you over. Since Ernie refused to do anything without his wand. Oh, I wanted to ask you something. Were you aware of Ernie taking any of your memories?”

His gray eyes widened, “Not that I remember, why?”

“Well, it’s because the memory Greg and I saw in the pensieve wasn’t one I remembered seeing.”

“Wait, Greg you didn’t just hear what happened to me, but you saw it?” His face paled.

Greg’s face reddened, “Um, yeah well. I only saw one of your memories, but it was enough to see what you’re life was like.”

“Did anyone consider that maybe; I didn’t want people to know about what I went through? I don’t want people to feel sorry for me. I deserved it all. I should’ve died down there. I shouldn’t be here right now. I shouldn’t have people caring for me. Please, just let me die,” tears welled up again.

Hermione pulled him into another tight hug, “No Draco, too many people care about you,” she kissed his forehead. “You will get through this. You will learn how to be strong and overcome your past. You’ll learn how to trust and love again.”

“Has he eaten dinner yet?” Greg looked down at his parchment and made a note with his quill.

Draco shook his head, “I’m not hungry.”

Greg furrowed his brow, “You’re too upset to eat now. I will give you your pain and sleep potions, but tomorrow you will eat. I will not allow you to starve yourself. I’m also going to see if one of the cerebral specialists from the sixth floor can come down. I think you need a full mental evaluation.”

“No, I’m not speaking to some head shrinking, mind invader. I’m only comfortable with one person invading my mind, and that’s only because she’s already been in there,” he crossed his arms and shook his head.

“But Draco, I’m not a healer. I’m only a volunteer, and I haven’t been through the education the cerebral specialists have experienced. Maybe you should see a specialist,” she patted him on the shoulder.

“No, I will close my mind like a steel trap, and no one will see anything. I am a skilled Occlumens and can keep everyone out, if I want.”

“Noted, now take your potions and sleep. We’ll discuss this more in the morning,” Greg uncapped the potions, and handed them to Draco. He drank them down like they were his lifeline and curled under the covers fast asleep.

“What should we do?” she asked transfiguring the chair into a cot.

“With everything he’s been through, he has developed trust issues. I don’t think he even really trusts me, but for some reason he trusts you. Hmm,” he paused for a moment as his face scrunched up in thought. “You know, he had a crush on you when we were still in school. I believe it started at the Yule Ball, when he saw you dancing with Victor Krum. Everyone noticed you that night, but I remember he couldn’t take his eyes off of you. Then you three saved us from the Room of Requirement, thanks by the way. I wonder if you and Harry are the only two people he trusts. Now, I know he wouldn’t be comfortable with Harry in his mind, but I think he might let you in again. Maybe we should have you meet with the head healer on floor six to discuss and share what you’ve found. We won’t let him know, but we have to do something to help him.”

“He’s stubborn, isn’t he?”

“Yes, he’s always been that way. You know, I’ve always been a good reader of people. I think that’s part of the reason why I pretended to be so dense in school. If people thought I was dumb, then I could analyze them without them realizing. I did it frequently with Draco. I knew he was about to snap under the pressure in our sixth year. I knew he was changing his mind about the whole Death Eater thing during the Battle of Hogwarts. The only reason he even wanted to capture Harry was so he could free his family from the clutches of the Dark Lord. He wasn’t sure if Harry could pull it off, but I think he hoped. We all hoped that Harry could defeat the Dark Lord and his insatiable thirst for power.”

“Greg, if you don’t mind me asking, why’d you become a healer?”

He furrowed his brow, “Well, I’d have to say I made the decision right after the Battle. I saw so many wounded from both sides. Seeing effects of the Cruciatus Curse, Vincent’s death, and Draco’s disappearance, all fueled my decision. I wanted to help people, and I guess part of me hoped that Draco would be found someday. If he needed medical treatment, I’d be there for him. He was a right git in school, but I always knew there was more going on. I had spent the holidays with the Malfoys our fifth year. His father was a horrible man. Draco was never good enough in his eyes. I think you were a big part of it. You know, you were the top of our class at Hogwarts, and his father couldn’t handle his son not performing better than a muggle-born. I guess it was easy for me, as my father didn’t care about my grades. I hid my intelligence too well, I guess.”

“Wait, Draco was punished by his father for not doing better than me in school?” she gasped.

“Yes, I guess it started our first year and got worse after that. Why do you think he took it out on you in school? It wasn’t just that you were of inferior birth; but that you were so damn smart, and he could never compete with you. Then Harry Potter performed better than you in Defense Against the Dark Arts and he, well let’s say that wasn’t his strongest subject.”

“Well, you should probably go make your rounds while we sleep. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Good Night, Hermione. Oh and just so you know, I can tell how you feel about him. I think he’s right in trusting you,” he turned with his lime green robes gliding behind him as he walked out of the door.

A/N: I know not much in this chapter, but it was a good introduction to Gregory Goyle and what he’s been doing in the five years Draco’s been missing. I’ll be slowly introducing Draco’s friends. We should soon see what Nott’s up to and how happy the Zabini’s really are.
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Just Let Me Die