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Finding Him Happiness	By : Koolgirl18 Category: Harry Potter > Het - Male/Female Views: 2945 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I own nothing nor do I make any money of the Harry Potter movies or books (I mean, honestly, if I did, do you realize how dark and perverted they would be. It certainly wouldn't be a children's book).

Chapter List
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Whoever claimed that death was easier to accept when one was prepared for it was a bloody liar.

Bill stood in front of the chapel where his wife’s funereal was being held.

Everyone was already inside, paying their last respects.

Bill couldn’t bring himself to go inside.

Even after she died in his arms and after he identified her body at the hospital, he couldn’t accept that his wife—his Fleur, was never coming back home.

The pain was so intense. It was different from physical pain, even more different that even the pain of someone hurting you in a relationship.

No, this was a pain that he knew no matter how much time passed, it would never go away.

In losing Fleur, he realized that no matter how angry, sad, or depressed he was that she would never come back. It was the pain of missing someone and never being able to hold them, or kiss them, or even yell at them again.

The pain burned so much that in the end, he was simply numb. The looks of pity didn’t even bother him like they used to.

It was like he was in a dreamlike state. He had no idea how he managed to get up in the mornings, how he managed to bathe and eat. It was like a giant blur to him.

Suddenly, he felt a warm hand slip into his.

He looked down to the connection.

The hand was quite petite and pale. His eyes travelled from the hand to the pale arm, to the material covered shoulder, to the pretty collarbone, to the slim neck and finally to the pale face with striking blue eyes.

He stared at the face, finally processing that it was Luna Lovegood, the woman who made his wife happy in her last days.

“Come—it’s time to go say goodbye,” she said quietly.

Bill let Luna lead him up the steps to the chapel.

Once inside, all he could see was the casket in the very front.

He smiled sadly as he remembered how much he and Fleur argued with each other about whether or not there was going to be a casket. She wanted to be cremated, but Bill was adamant about giving friends and family a chance to see her once more before burying her.

Bill ended up winning, mainly because Fleur knew they would do what felt right with her remains.

The sharp pain hit Bill’s heart again as he was once again reminded that they would never talk again.

Luna woman slowly coaxed him forward.

It was one of the longest walks Bill ever took in his life. There was something about the finality of seeing someone in a casket. It seemed to make death even more real.

Finally, Bill was there, staring at her tranquil face. In fact, it looked like she would wake up at any moment.

“Please, Fleur. This isn’t a game anymore … please wake up,” Bill whispered, his voice sounding like gravel.

The small petite hand squeezed his.

“It’s time to let go, Bill. She’s in a happy place right now, a place where she’s strong. She’s going on adventures with others who have passed on. She is finally at peace.”

“I don’t know if I can live without her,” he whispered.

“Don’t see it as saying goodbye forever, Bill. See it as saying goodbye for a little while. You will see her again when your time comes.”

Bill went silent as he stared down at his wife.

He squeezed the petite hand as tears threatened to fall down his cheeks. He would not break down in front of her friends and family. He had to be strong.

Reaching into the casket, he ran a finger down her pale cheek.

“Goodbye, Fleur,” he whispered.

He went to sit down at the pew with his family.

Bill barely remembered what happened during the service and at the wake. He remembered giving out a lot of hugs and laughing without emotion.

The only constant that he had was of Luna being at his side and pushing people along so that he wouldn’t be uncomfortable.

Finally, Luna politely kicked everyone out the house. Bill had never been more grateful to be alone in his life.

Muttering a soft thank you to Luna, Bill went into his room and got ready for bed. He thanked every deity he knew that Luna spent the week before the funeral packing Fleur’s clothing and washing the bed sheets. He didn’t think smelling Fleur at this point would have been good for his pain.

After dressing for bed, Bill slipped under the covers.

He shuffled a little before getting comfortable.

Bill felt exhausted and yet he couldn’t sleep.

He listened to the sound of Luna moving around in the house, putting away left overs and cleaning the mess the guests made.

He wondered if she would go home when she was finished. Hell, he wondered if she would still come around with Fleur gone.

Strangely enough, he didn’t want Luna to go away. She had been very supportive since Fleur found out about her sickness. She seemed to always be calm and it soothed him in moments where he felt he could scream in his frustration.

Bill’s mind wandered to Fleur. He remembered some of the good times they had together—like their wedding, their trip to Egypt, the cold winter nights in front of the fire.

Soon the memories and pain became too much.

He began to sob into his pillow, clutching the sheets between his hands. Soon the sobs turned into moans of pain. His heart hurt so much and yet no amount of sobbing or waling was going to bring her back.

Bill had never felt so alone in his life.

All of a sudden, he felt a warm body embrace him.

The touch simply made Bill sob harder.

The body simply rocked him, handing him tissues when his nose got too stuffy.

Finally, his sobs died down and all he could do was lay there, in pain.

Whoever said that crying helped lessen the pain was a bloody liar too. He balled his bleeding eyes out and he didn’t feel better at all.

“You have a lot of pain bottled up inside of you. It will take a while for you to get it all out,” Luna said as if she knew what he was thinking.

Bill let out a sigh.

“I just wish the pain will go away. This fucking sucks.”

Luna hugged him tighter.

“But it is needed,” she said wisely.

B*~B*~B*~B

“Good job, Weasley. That box has stumped us for years and you finally got it open,” a goblin said, rubbing its hands with glee.

Bill flashed the goblin a bright smile.

“I can’t take the credit, sir. My friend Luna Lovegood had a lot to do with the successful opening of it,” Bill said humbly.

“Well then, tell her if she ever needs a job, we will be more than happy to look at her resume.”

Bill inwardly shook his head. Luna would be flattered but she wouldn’t take the job—not that he was going to tell the goblin that.

“I will be sure to tell her,” Bill promised.

“Excellent—now take the rest of the day off. I’ll have a new more complicated assignment for you tomorrow.”

Bill resisted the urge to roll his eyes.

“Thank you, sir.”

Bill organized his desk and apparated back to his home.

He walked in to the smell of shepherd pie.

“Oh, Bill. You’re home early today. Welcome,” a dreamy voice drifted from the kitchen.

“Good evening, Luna. Dinner smells good today,” Bill said, hanging his coat up.

He walked into the kitchen and saw Luna bending over, taking the shepherd pie out of the oven.

Bill’s eyes were glued to her shapely bum. It was only after she straightened up that he realized what he was doing.

Blushing to the roots of his hair, he faced another point in the kitchen to wait for the flaming in his cheeks to go down.

As he did so, he noticed that the table was set differently that night. They normally had informal and comfortable dinners with all of the chairs at the table and a checkered table cloth. Tonight, however, there were only two chairs on each side of the table with a white table cloth, a bottle of wine and candles.

Bill gulped at the sight.

He knew what the setting meant.

It had been more than a year since Fleur had died. In his first six months of mourning, Luna had been very supportive in helping him get through it. By the time he had finished mourning and was finally ready to move on, however, Luna told him about her feelings for him.

At first, Bill had been very angry about Luna’s feelings. How dare she betray Fleur and feel anything but friendship for him?

When Bill voiced this to her, Luna simply smiled and gave him the letter that Fleur wrote him before her death that he had been putting off reading.

In it, Fleur told Bill that she knew about Luna’s feelings and that it was alright to love her.

Despite this, Bill had avoided the issue of Luna’s feeling for him.

It wasn’t that he didn’t like her. Luna was a beautiful woman and when she wasn’t talking about imaginary creatures, she was helping him figure out how to break the curses in his job.

In his heart, he knew that he was starting to fall for her. How could he not?

She was there for him from the very beginning. She comforted his wife and made her happy from her last breath. And when Fleur died, Luna was there holding him every night before he went to bed until he was able to get through a night on his own.

Luna Lovegood was a woman with a big heart who wanted nothing more than for the people she loved to be happy.

Still, Bill couldn’t stop feeling as though he were betraying Fleur’s memory by having any feelings or attraction to her.

“How was work today?”

Luna snapped Bill out of his thoughts.

He looked over to her, marveling at how she managed to look so beautiful in such a strange ensemble. She wore leggings with giant white boots, and a short yellow polka dress that stopped mid-thigh. Her hair which was normally straight had cork screw curls that hung down her back. Instead of radish earrings, she had snitch earrings the fluttered every time she moved

“I finally opened the box. Now the goblins will take care of carefully working with the artifacts inside. Thank you by the way, for helping me crack the code,” Bill said.

Luna walked over to the table, setting one of the pies down with her oven mitts.

“It wasn’t a hard code to crack. But I’m happy I could help,” she said.

Before walking back to get the other pie, she stood on her tip toes to give Bill a kiss on the cheek.

“And it’s good to have you home,” she breathed against his skin.

Bill’s eyes fluttered closed as she kissed him. He was sad when she pulled away.

He cleared his throat, hoping like hell that she didn’t notice his blush. Luna smiled and walked over to the counter to get the other pie.

“It’s good to be home. How was your day?” he asked, walking over to one side of the table to sit down.

Luna set the other pie down on the table.

“It was great! Daddy is thinking about handing the Quibbler over to me by the end of the year,” she said, pulling off her oven mitts.

And this was how the rest of dinner went. Bill talked about the new project he was given and Luna talked about what she was going to do to change the Quibbler to be a mix of news and of discoveries of new creatures.

After a desert of American style cheese cake, they both moved into the living room to have a glass of wine.

Soon, the wine glasses were empty and the conversation about their jobs was exhausted.

Luna grabbed his hand.

Bill tried to pull away but Luna held on tight.

“I’m not ready for this, Luna,” Bill said quietly.

Luna rubbed the top of his hand gently.

“Why?” she asked.

“I don’t think I’ve gotten over Fleur. I don’t think I ever will,” he said honestly.

“No, you are over Fleur. You are afraid that if you love again, you will be hurt again.”

Bill opened and closed his mouth a few times.

He thought she was going to throw the whole ‘I won’t love Fleur anymore if I love someone else’ thing at him. Bill was over that. He knew that he would always have a special place in his heart for Fleur and that no one could ever take that away.

Bill didn’t expect her to figure out what his real fear was. He didn’t think he could take another person that he loved dying on him. The pain was unbearable and he never wanted to go through it again. He understood better than anyone else how quick life could be taken away from someone.

“You can’t tell your heart what to do. It will love even when you don’t want to,” Luna whispered, her signature dreamy look gone.

Bill looked away from her bright blue eyes.

“I … I just can’t, Luna.”

“Spend the night with me. If you still feel the same way in the morning, I promise I will be nothing more than a friend to you.”

Bill bit his lip.

He really wanted to take up her offer. He hadn’t shagged anyone since Fleur had gotten sick. It was actually quite amazing that he lasted as long as he had without any sexual activity since he was known for his hearty sex drive with the slight lycanthropy he gained during the war.

Luna cupped his jaw, gently turning it towards her.

“Give in, Bill. We’ll worry about the consequences later.”

Bill’s control snapped.

One hand wrapped around Luna’s waist as his lips devoured hers.

Consequences be damned.

B*~B*~B*~B

Bill

Fleur?

You can be so stubborn sometimes, Bill.

I don’t know what to do, Fleur. I want to love her, but I’m afraid to.

Love is a wonderful gift, Bill. It is wonderful because it cannot be taken away. It will always live on, even with death. Embrace the love that Luna has, and let it heal you.

I miss you, Fleur.

And you always will, Bill. But don’t let that rule your life. Be happy with Luna, Bill. I’ll see you on the other side.

B*~B*~B*~B

Bill woke up the next morning to the sun shining in his face and a warm body snuggled into him.

He looked down and smiled at the sight of Luna Lovegood sleeping in his arms.

Bill waited for the heavy feeling of guilt settle in his heart.

Instead, all he felt was lightness.

Smiling, he pulled Luna more firmly against his chest.

Bill knew when to admit defeat. He just never knew that defeat could be so sweet.
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Finding Him Happiness