Adult-FanFiction.org : Harry Potter

Harry's True Self	By : yaoiboydaisuke Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Harry/Snape Views: 42737 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 8
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
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AN: To those who thought I was going to make Harry pregnant by Vernon lol no worries, while in the original version of this story Harry was able to get pregnant without a potion or spell because the potion Sirius took made him kinda a mutant, in this rewrite he will need to take a potion or use a spell to be able to be pregnant, so yep don't worry about that lol

Hogwarts, it use to be the one place Harry considered his true home, besides the times he was able to go to the Weasley's. But as he got off the train, he wasn't even thinking about being happy to be in school, he was thinking about where he was going to live during the summer. He guessed that since his father was back that the order would either put him with one of the members, if that was the case he wasn't sure how he'd feel actually living with anyone other than the Weasley's, even though current events made him not sure about living with them all summer; it was still better than with the Dursley's. He was hoping that he'd be allowed to stay in the Black family home, it was his home by all rights, and as far as everyone else knew, Sirius was his godfather. The problem of being a teenager, whose starting to go over his life choices from the past, was that he was thinking about all the times Ron was a prat, like fighting with him when his name came out of the Goblet Of Fire or any small things that were beyond his control, and Hermione being a know it all all the time. At this point, Hermione was more of a best friend than Ron, as they had never actually fought much, sure once in a while she'd tend to nag about studying, but they never actually had a fight like he and Ron have. It kind of put him in a grudge against Ron, he knew he couldn't ever talk to him about his current problems, and if Hermione wasn't muggleborn...he knew he'd be asking her what he should do, but as she was muggleborn her views would be bias. Well he supposed even if she wasn't, she still wouldn't like the idea of who his father was; but he felt like he could at least talk to her about the rape more than he could talk to Ron about it.

All the students grabbed their belongings and headed to the school, the new students would point at the horseless carriages and wonder what kind of spell was cast on them. Harry felt a shiver go down his back, he felt like he was being watched, and he slowly glanced around him. Many of the students were giving him a wide variety of looks, ranging from fear,anger, and disgust, and he had no clue why they were looking at him. He was standing alone, his friends had gone off ahead, they still believed he'd been laughing at them, and there was a circle of kids watching him and keeping their distance; then a kid yelled out. “It's the boy who lied!” the black haired boy was a first year student, he pointed at Harry. “Because of you, my parents almost stopped me from coming to Hogwarts, they said that you're a murderer and even the papers are saying you killed Cedric Diggory to get all the glory and then blamed it on the dark lord who has not returned!” Harry glared at the child, he was ready to hit him with a hex. “Since school has just started, who did you have lie for you to cover up the murder of your muggle family? Did they find out that you are spreading lies and you had to shut them up without leaving a chance someone could remove an obliviation spell? Come on, we all want to know why a murdering liar is allowed back in school!” Harry looked around at all the students who started to agree with the young boy.

“I didn't kill Cedric! Voldemort really has come back! He killed Cedric!” Some of the students gasped at hearing the dark lords name, but Harry continued to plead his case. “I was with the Weasley family, I didn't even know my aunt and uncle were murdered till earlier today!” there was chatter about him going on lies again. “Why would I lie about any of this! I almost die every bloody year in this school to protect everyone! Then you all suddenly start reading those horrible papers and think I'm doing this for attention! How many times has Rita Skitter wrote false stories about people?” he was shaking. “ I won't go into my family matters with you lot, but I can tell you with all honesty I have only just learned about what happened, the Weasley's didn't show me any muggle papers.” he realized the order hadn't even shown him The Daily Prophet after 'The Boy Who Lies' article, he knew he was going to have to find a way to see what that horrible Rita woman had wrote.

Before any of the other students could speak their minds, Hagrid, who had been listening to what was said and trying to keep his cool, told them it was enough and to get to the school. He apologized to Harry about the cruelty the other students were showing him, but Harry just shook his head and continued into the school. Harry noticed in the Great Hall, that there were a lot less students in all the grades, from the one boys outburst he guessed they were kept home. Again he felt people staring at him and knew it wasn't in his head or paranoia now, he felt depressed that even Gryffindor students were looking at him in distrustful ways, what had he done to make them all turn on him and believe Rita of all people. He looked up at where the teachers were sitting, Snape looked grumpier than usual and was glaring toward the other teachers, Harry followed his view and saw Dolores Umbridge, the woman from his trial. Dumbledore introduced her to the students, most of the other teachers looked just as annoyed as Snape, and Harry turned pale at the news she was going to be a new teacher.

Why was it that he couldn't be completely happy? Was there some huge curse placed on him from the moment he was born? He'd had hopes of having a normal school year, he hoped that Sirius would let Voldemort know he was their son and that there would be no threat against his life for once. He stormed into the Gryffindor common room after they were told to go to their rooms, he put his hands into his hair in frustration. “That horrible woman from my trail had to come! Why is everything turning to shit!” some younger students gasped at him cursing. Seamus had been one of the students who heard the boy accusing Harry of almost being the reason he couldn't come to Hogwarts, while he also was angry at Harry, he kept his mouth shut and didn't look at him. Harry knew that the other Gryffindor's had read The Daily Prophet and had believed it, their faces all showed it, Ron and Hermione had decided to forget about being mad at Harry and tried to talk sense into those who thought Harry was lying. Ron and Hermione had their own rooms as Prefects, so Harry felt he was going to miss Ron's snoring, and was still jealous that he wasn't prefect; he felt like he needed his own room after the summer he had.

Hell, Harry was in hell, Hogwarts was now like a prison, it had been only two weeks since Umbridge started being a teacher. She was ruining the whole school with her rules. Harry had completely isolated himself from the other students, he felt that if they could so easily turn their backs on him that they were never his friends. He would still hang out with Ron and Hermione when they weren't in date mode, though the rules regarding male and female interaction had put a strain on their relationship. Umbridge's little squad of gits from Slytherin had just been put together, she wanted them to keep an eye out for rule breakers. Neville was still on friendly terms with Harry, Neville was always a nice guy, even when Harry and the others had made fun of him; Harry felt guilty that he still didn't think of Neville as an actual friend. Because of finding out Voldemort was his father, whenever Harry was asked about the dark lord returning, he'd lie and say he wasn't sure anymore, that he was attacked and suffered a concussion while fighting off the attackers to be able to bring Cedric's body back to his family; this was accepted by most, even Umbridge agreed that it must have been a concussion.

If it wasn't for a few others pointing it out, Harry would never have noticed that he had changed, he didn't look in mirrors much as his hair would always be the same and he didn't need to keep it looking brushed. His face was slenderer than it had been, he'd grown taller, and other features had made him slightly more attractive. While most passed it off with him finally hitting puberty, Harry could see what was really happening, he looked a mix of the young Tom Riddle from the diary and teen Sirius Black in most of the new features, he could only see it since he knew who his real parents were and was remembering how each looked compared to him; his eyes remained green like Lily's. Harry hadn't heard anything about Sirius, Ron and Hermione were whispering to each other every so often and would glance at Harry like something horrible had happened. Harry tried not to think the worst case, which was either that Sirius was caught as a spy or that Voldemort had killed him.

If Sirius had been caught by The Order, they would probably try to read his mind or use a veritaserum potion on him, if that happened...they would know about Harry being the dark lords son. Since no one had called the Auror's to come and take him away to Azkaban, he figured that Sirius hadn't been caught. Harry was sick of being kept in the dark about everything in his life, it was his life and he should know what was going on, and he didn't want things to be sugarcoated or be protected like he was a fragile child; he didn't realize he really was a fragile child or that he was going insane slowly. In the two weeks since school started, Harry was paranoid, he thought everyone was whispering about him, about his life, like they knew anything about him besides what lies were wrote in The Daily Prophet. He was twitchy, jumped whenever Ron or Hermione would touch him, and he was hardly eating.

It was no longer just about the stories they'd read or heard about Harry that made the other students start to avoid him, it was the way he was acting, it was off putting and they knew he was going mad. Harry was starting to realize he needed to talk to someone, he had been putting it off way to long to actually talk normally to someone, and at this point he only knew of one person he could actually talk to. He put his invisibility cloak around himself and left the common room in the middle of the night, he went down to Severus' room. Hesitating for a moment, he knew he'd be in trouble for being out of his room after hours, he knocked on the door. It took a few moments, there was some muttering about who would it be at this time of the night, and the door opened. Severus was wearing a green robe over his sleepwear, he looked annoyed that no one was at the door and was about to close it again.

“Sir..” Harry whispered so the paintings and anyone passing by couldn't hear. “I really need to talk to you...” he moved the cloak off his face a little. Severus pressed his lips together in annoyance, but moved aside so that Harry could come into the room, and closed the door behind him. Removing the cloak, Harry stood in the Head of Slytherin's room, it was his first time in the mans room, and it was filled with books and potions, as well as a fully stocked wine and whiskey cabinet; that was where Snape headed and grabbed a bottle of fire whiskey and a glass. Harry watched as Severus sat down in his favorite chair and began to pour himself a glass of the whiskey, he waved a hand for Harry to go ahead and sit on his couch. Severus was trying to get use to the fact that Harry no longer looked the same as he use to, which was sort of a good thing, he not longer saw James Potter every day. Harry sat on the couch and started to talk to Severus about his problems. “I can't trust anyone, you are the only one who knows what happened to me during the summer, everyone thinks I'm a liar about the dark lord being back and my so called friends turned on me in a second and rather believe the stupid woman who writes crap stories.”

Severus took a sip of his whiskey and sighed. “They are scared Potter, if he has returned it means that there is danger and that most of them will not be safe.” he leaned back in his chair. “They would rather believe you are a liar than face that there will be a war. That is why they sent that insufferable woman from the ministry.” he clutched his glass in his hand taking a swig from it. “The cruelty of children is not lost on me Potter, your father and his friends made my school life hell.” he sighed again in frustration. “It is best you get over your grudges and feelings of paranoia, yes they are talking about you, it isn't in your head. But for the sake of your mental health, you should just ignore it, their fools and just want someone to pick on.” he sat up straight. “Be a better person than your father and them, don't let their foolishness bother you. You have been through so much at such a young age, you have done and seen things the other children would need a change of pants after. You are not in the wrong here, it is them who are being petty.” Severus put his free hand to his temple, he couldn't believe he was giving advice to Harry like this, he paled when he glanced at the boy and saw that tears had started to stream down his face.

Harry shook, wiping the tears from his face. “Why does everyone know more about me than I do? I know The Order knows things they aren't telling me.” he hiccuped and looked at Severus with sad green eyes. “ They even went so far as to hide news papers from me.” he balled his fist on his lap. “Professor....I have something I need to get off my chest and you are the only one I can talk to about this, you have to swear absolutely that you will never tell The Order.” he looked at the thirty-five year old man with a deadly serious stare. “They want to keep their little secrets from me that is fine, I have secrets they don't know about too. Please sir, what I am about to tell you can't leave this room.” Severus stared at the boy, he slowly agreed to never speak of what the boy was about to tell him and to get on with it. “Well....you see sir I'm...”

TBC
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Harry's True Self