Adult-FanFiction.org : Harry Potter

Sing Along Forever	By : JBankai89 Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Remus/Sirius Views: 3825 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: JK Rowling owns Harry Potter, I gain nothing from this but a way to pass the time.

Chapter List
- 3
- 4
- 5
A/N: I am SUCH an idiot. Somehow I managed to totally skip over posting chapter 2 of this fic and went straight to chapter 3. *facepalm* I'm so sorry.
Chapter 4 – Love Is Paranoid

I'm holding on
For what you do to me baby
There's no measure I've
Taken everything now I want
To give it I left the lights
On so you'd stumble in devotion
So easy, so easy
It's left unspoken I'm holding on
I've come to realize you're the only thing I want
Love Is Paranoid, The Distillers

Remus, I love you but you need to tell Sirius about your...thing. I know you have issues letting people in, but I can't see him reacting badly like the last asshat you were seeing. Tell. Him.

Alice's text glared at Remus like a string of offensive slurs.

True to his word, he took Moony and Sirius to the dog park on their next date, and watching them together he couldn't tell who was having more fun—Moony, or Sirius. He hung back near one of the benches sipping on a water bottle he'd brought along, and he watched as Sirius tore back and forth along the expanse of the park, grabbing at the scruff of Moony's neck as if he was playing tag with the dog, and taking off with Moony hot on his heels.

Normally when Remus came to the park with Moony he'd hang back and let him play with the other dogs or throw tennis balls for him, given that his running ability was slow and awkward, at best. He'd never been much of a runner to begun with, and he was definitely no Terry Fox. Watching Sirius run with his dog warmed his heart, and he was quite content to sit back and watch the pair of them play.

“Having fun?” Remus asked as Sirius wandered over to him, panting, and he offered the bottle to Sirius, who nodded his thanks before he guzzled down half of it in one. Moony followed him, growling and yipping as he bowed forward with his tail high in the air, clearly keen to keep playing with his new best friend.

“I'm pretty sure Moony like me best now,” Sirius replied with a grin, and Remus snorted, stowing away his mobile so that Sirius wouldn't see the text before he responded.

“Yeah, well I still feed him, so I'll regain his love tonight at dinnertime,” Remus said, his smile widening when Sirius barked a laugh. He closed the distance between them, Remus felt his breath catch as Sirius wound an arm around his waist and kissed him. Just like last time, it left him feeling slightly dazed, but in the best possible way. Distantly he heard the cluck of a disapproving onlooker, and the pair broke the kiss at the same time and turned to look and watched as a middle-aged woman gathered up her tiny dog (which Moony could probably eat in one mouthful if he had a mind to) and hurried from the park, casting them nasty glares every few steps.

“Well that was certainly a mood-killer,” Remus mumbled, still wrapped up in Sirius's arms while he stared at the chain link door where the woman had exited from.

“I dunno, kinda makes me want to do all sorts of nasty things right here just to cleanse this park of any other homophobes that might be lurking about,” Sirius murmured as he nipped at Remus's earlobe, making him chuckle softly.

“You're terrible,” he muttered, but at Moony's impatient whine Sirius reluctantly let him go and took off with the dog again.

Despite the week separating this date from their previous one, to Remus it felt as though no time had passed. This was thanks in large part to the fact that they'd been texting near-constantly since that first date. Remus had learned a great many things about Sirius in that time that they hadn't managed to cover during their date—like his intense love for his hair. He had sent Remus a photograph of himself somewhere around the middle of the week after Lily had done up his hair in a herringbone braid for him. The picture had been taken in the loo, and Remus got a delightful view of his alarmingly extensive collection of hair care products. He didn't even know any girls with that many products—unless you counted Alice's vast collection of Manic Panic hair dyes.

He'd also learnt that Sirius lived with the Potters—at first Remus had teased him about being a squatter, but he quickly learned that he was more or less a live-in babysitter for his godson, Harry. Remus had been sent more pictures of Harry than anything else, which rivalled the amount of cat pictures Alice had been known to send him. He couldn't exactly complain though, the kid was endearing, and had a look about him that told Remus he'd be trouble when he hit puberty.

Sirius had laid himself bare for him many times over the last week, opening up about his family, his upbringing, and his brother's suicide. Every time he learnt something new about Sirius, Remus felt a pang of guilt for not coming clean with his own big secret. He'd have to tell him soon.

I'm working up to it, Remus typed back, when he was certain that Sirius was otherwise occupied with Moony, it's not easy to tell someone you've got a similar body type to Captain Hook when your last significant other bolted because you didn't have all your limbs in tact.

Alice replied almost instantly.

You're making too much of this. Ableist douchebags are the minority. None of our mutual friends treat you any different because you're an amputee. You're just as capable as anyone else at doing whatever you like. I do not believe for a second that Sirius will think any less of you because of it. And if he does...I'll just have to beat him to death with a shovel for you.

Remus chuckled a little at her response, and after checking to see that Sirius was still playing with Moony, he typed his reply.

Easy for you to say, you don't have to live with it. Sure, our mutual friends treat me the same, until it's a hot day and I throw on a pair of shorts. They look more at my prosthetic than they do at my face.

Remus, that is such BULLSHIT. You're self-conscious of it, I get that, but not everyone is staring because they think less of you, and CERTAINLY not our friends. Someone with a prosthetic isn't something people see every day, they might be staring out of surprise or curiosity but not because they think you're a...lesser person or something for having it. From what you've told me, Sirius is decent(and I want to meet him properly soon!). He won't treat you differently because of it. Sack up and TELL HIM. Enjoy the rest of your date.

Remus gritted his teeth, but resisted the urge to send some cutting remark and forced himself to stow away his mobile. This was lucky, as at the same moment Sirius came jogging over to him.

“Hey, you okay? You look upset,” Sirius said as Remus looked up, and he forced his mouth into a faint smile.

“It's nothing,” Remus replied with a shrug, “just my friend's being a bit of a cunt.”

“Oh that's always fun,” Sirius said with a faint smile, reaching out to embrace him and lightly brush his lips against Remus's. Sirius pressed his forehead against his and stared intently into his eyes with a wide smile. “I think I've utterly exhausted your dog, might be a good idea to walk him home.”

Remus looked over Sirius's shoulder, and laughed out loud when he saw Moony, flopped on his side and panting, looking very pleased with himself, but completely spent.

“C'mon Moony, wanna go home?” Remus lifted the leash and the dog jumped up and trotted over, and Remus hooked his leash on. He stopped long enough to let him have a long drink from the doggie fountain, then turned towards the exit, hand in hand with Sirius.

Moony was wiped enough from his run with Sirius that he trotted at Remus's side much more slowly than usual, and Sirius soon let go of Remus's hand and threw his arm over his shoulders. The warm weight made Remus smile, and he leaned into the contact while he mirrored the gesture by wrapping an arm about the man's waist.

It still freaked Remus out a little that he'd known the man for barely two weeks and already he felt so warm and familiar, but Remus did his best to push back his doubts. He'd begun to think that it was possible that Sirius wouldn't drop him the moment he found out about his leg, but after the debacle with Gilderoy, he couldn't help but be a little nervous.

They walked in silence back to Remus's duplex, and the moment he unhooked Moony's leash the big dog trotted to the bathroom, and he could hear the loud, wet slurps of him drinking out of the toilet.

A warm hand on his back drew Remus's attention back to Sirius, who was watching him like he was the most fascinating thing on the planet. Remus didn't know how he felt about the expression, as he still wasn't certain what Sirius found so fascinating about him, as Alice often teased that he was about as exciting as watching paint dry. He couldn't recall any of his exes ever looking at him like that, and while he didn't dislike the feeling, it did take some getting used to.

“Good second date?” Remus asked with a smile, and Sirius grinned in response, his hand trailing down to his trouser beltloops and used them to tug Remus into a lazy embrace. Remus's arms were squished between them, and Sirius was quick to capture his lips in a hungry kiss.

“Best,” he said softly, relaxing his grip so that Remus could extricate his arms and drape them lazily over his shoulders. Remus leaned in to kiss him, and in the back of his mind, he heard a little voice telling him, it's time.

“You know,” Remus murmured, his left hand moving to toy with Sirius's locks, “I don't think I really showed you around properly the last time you were here. Want to come in for a cuppa?”

Sirius's eyes gleamed mischievously at the unspoken invitation, and Remus swallowed a laugh. Remus hated to quash his hopes, but he had to come clean soon, otherwise Sirius would be in for quite the shock when they finally fucked.

“I'd love to,” he said, kissing Remus one last time before reluctantly letting him go to toe off his boots. Remus did the same with his trainers, and despite his best efforts to walk softly, the distinctive thump of his prosthetic wasn't hard to miss in the silent flat. Remus caught the confused look in Sirius's eyes, but he said nothing, and instead followed him to his surgically clean kitchen.

“Damn,” Sirius said with a low whistle, “remind me to tidy before you come to visit the house for the first time. I mean, we aren't slobs by any means, but compared to you...”

“Don't worry about it,” Remus replied with a small laugh as he plugged in the kettle, selected the water temperature, then pulled down two mugs and his Yorkshire Gold tea. “I'm not bothered by other people's level of cleanliness, I just...like having things in their place. Do you take sugar or milk?”

Sirius shook his head and leant against the counter to watch Remus putter around, though he did not miss the way Sirius's eyes frequently shifted to his hidden prosthetic. Remus pretended that he hadn't noticed the look while he tried to come up with what to say, and how to say it. He couldn't help but think back to what Gilderoy had said and done, and again his anxiety wondered if Sirius would react similarly.

“No Moony,” Remus said without looking up, as the telltale clicks of his nails on the hardwood signalled him to the dog's latest attempt to sneak into the kitchen when he wasn't looking. Remus heard Sirius chuckle, and he turned to his house guest, the corners of his mouth twitching into a smile. “Is something funny?”

“You kind of remind me of James's mum,” Sirius said with a warm smile, “Not that I'm saying you're an older Punjabi woman or anything, but the eyes in the back of your head thing. She used to rip James a new one for trying to sneak food while she was making dinner without looking away from the cooker once. It's cute.”

“Well, er, thanks...I think,” Remus said with a small awkward laugh, and poured steaming water into both of the mugs. Sirius pushed himself off the edge of the counter and moved to Remus's side, pressed a kiss to his temple while he snaked an arm around his waist.

“It's a compliment, trust me,” Sirius murmured, and Remus felt his face grow warm.

Remus busied himself with his own tea, dropping in a spoonful of sugar and positively drowning it in milk, while he watched Sirius's nose wrinkle in disgust out of the corner of his eye. He ignored it and pressed the other mug into Sirius's hands, then escorted him to the front room.

Remus had inherited the duplex from his paternal grandfather, and it had been bought out from the landlord a great many years ago, meaning that aside from utilities and property tax, he didn't need to worry about rent or mortgage payments. It also meant that Remus had a huge place all to himself that he'd spent the last five years furnishing to his liking.

The front room had a small television crammed in the corner with a handful of DVDs below it, but most of the wall space had been taken up by floor-to-ceiling bookcases positively crammed with books. His cream sofa faced the television, but the coffee table was stacked with books he hadn't been able to fit on the shelves, instead of something like a candy dish or TV remote. The grey carpeting cushioned his footsteps, and he barked a laugh at the way Sirius's jaw dropped open in an almost cartoonish manner when he caught sight of Remus's book collection.

“Jesus, it's like a fucking library,” he said, and Remus's mouth tugged into a proud grin as he sat down and sipped his tea.

“I like to read,” he said with a shrug, and Sirius joined him, still staring at the bookshelves.

“I can see that, if you're a student how in the hell did you afford all these?”

“There's a used bookstore nearby, and all their books are fifty pence each. My spare change all ends up there,” Remus replied with a short laugh, “and some were gifts, and I get a discount at work. I'm definitely not rich.”

“It's an impressive collection, no matter how you came by them,” Sirius said, casually resting a hand on Remus's thigh while he settled back against the cushions and sipped his tea.

“I'm glad you approve,” Remus replied, for the moment feigning ignorance at the way the hand was ever so slowly sneaking its way up his thigh.

They drank their tea in silence, Sirius finishing first, and shifting his arm to rest along the back of the sofa, his fingertips toying with the sparse hairs at the back of Remus's neck, making him shiver with both desire and fear. It had been a while since he'd been intimate with anyone.

“Erm, Sirius,” Remus said, wincing at the way his voice shook a little as he set down the mug on the coffee table, “there's something about me that I haven't told you.”

“Am I about to find out the real reason for your stiff walk?” Sirius asked, arching a brow, and Remus felt himself flush.

“Er—yeah,” he said, and felt his mind go blank as he tried to come up with a way to say it. Nothing came to mind, no way to smoothly admit that he was an amputee, and with slightly shaking hands he opted for show and tell.

He stood, and out of the corner of his eye he saw Sirius's eyebrows raise in surprise as he reached for the cuff of his left trouser leg, and slowly pulled it up.

Remus could remember Gilderoy's reaction the first and only time he saw Remus's prosthetic. Shock, closely followed by disgust, and finally admittance that he couldn't see someone who was disabled. This proclamation was followed by the man hastily leaving without so much as a backward glance. The memory still made him angry, and he hated how self-conscious he'd become following the breakup because of it.

Sirius was surprised; his mouth opened in a silent 'o', but Remus saw none of the disgust he'd seen with his ex. Remus quickly dropped the garment and sat back down.

“What happened?” Sirius asked softly, reaching forward to take his hands, his eyes straying to the hidden prosthetic a few times before he refocused his attention on Remus's face.

“I was in a car accident when I was little. My mother was driving drunk, she died on impact, I was thrown out of the car and...well, I don't remember much, and when I woke up a week later in hospital I was covered in bandages and missing my leg. My father had been beside himself, angry at my mother for making such a stupid decision, putting me in danger, all of it. He didn't really share his feelings on the matter with me until I was older, but he never touched alcohol again after that.”

“Jesus, that's awful...” Sirius paused, still holding onto Remus, but there was a shift in the saddened look on his face, from sympathy to something he couldn't completely identify. “Why didn't you tell me before?”

“When people find out, some have treated me like an invalid, like I can't do things just because I'm an amputee. I'm not disabled, I'm not helpless. I don't usually tell anyone unless I have good reason to. And...my last boyfriend didn't exactly react favourably when he found out.”

“Helpless is hardly a word I'd use to describe you,” Sirius said, leaning in to kiss Remus gently. Some of his shock at Sirius's easy acceptance must have shown on his face, because when he pulled back he chuckled a little, “what, you thought I'd be freaked out, disgusted? Do I come across as that narrow-minded?”

“I dunno, I'm finding I really don't know what to expect with you,” Remus replied with a slight shrug. He resisted the urge to add in that he thought Sirius would have preferred someone able-bodied, but again it was almost as though Sirius could read his mind, as he reached out to pull Remus closer, and kissed him deeply.

“When I first saw you, I knew that I wanted you. Call it love at first sight, destiny, whatever, I don't care. Whether you have one leg or two legs, or a third nipple, I still want you—the adorable, meek twenty-five-year-old that dresses like a grandfather. The man who loves books, and has an adorable dog, and refuses to sit back and let people treat him differently because of his...well, you know. You're a strong man, confident in your own right, and anyone who thinks less of you because of that deserves a swift kick in the nads,” Sirius finished his little speech and kissed Remus again. “I might be a little in love with you, and your...er, one legged-ness doesn't change that.”

Remus had no idea what to say. His shock and relief bled together into a dizzying warm sensation in his chest, and instead of speaking he dragged Sirius forward and kissed him hard.

They spent the next little while alternating between snogging and just sitting together and chatting softly. Not for the first time Remus found himself amazed at how comfortable he felt with someone he'd met so recently. Moony seemed to be getting jealous of his owner, and kept nudging Sirius, begging for attention.

“Told you he liked me best now,” Sirius said with a short laugh as he scratched the dog behind the ears.

“Just wait until I feed him,” Remus said with a soft chuckle, “then we'll see who his favourite is.”

Seemingly content for the moment, Moony curled up on the carpet next to the sofa, and Sirius returned his attention back to Remus. For the last hour he'd wanted to ask Sirius something, but it felt a little silly asking. Even so, he pushed himself forward, given that most of his anxieties surrounding Sirius seemed to be unfounded.

“Sirius?”

“Hm?” Sirius's hand stilled where it had been sneaking up his thigh again, and he turned to meet Remus's eye.

“Would you...er, I mean, if you want...could you sing something for me?” Remus asked, and he felt a flush colour his cheeks when Sirius's eyebrows shot up in surprise. “I mean, you don't have to if you don't want to,” he added in a rush, “but in the shop when you first properly asked me out...I just really liked your voice.”

“What would you like to hear?”

“Anything.”

Sirius eased back against the sofa, a thoughtful look on his face, and after a moment he cleared his throat and began to sing softly. Remus closed his eyes to listen.

“I'll come down to get you high,
Or maybe sing you a lullaby.
Sing you to sleep,
A sleep you'll never wake from,
Sing you to coma, so to speak.

When I fall down I fall apart,
Trade in my bike for a shopping cart,
And beg change from a world that needs some,
Like I need someone.

So where are you, my little needle?
The stack's been burned away,
But I'm so inebriated that I cannot see,
Three feet in front of me,
Between the moon and you,
Lunacy is setting in.

Lately I've been feeling dead inside,
Like my guts have dried up and died.
But every night I water them back to life,
Yeah every night, I water them back to life.

When I fall down I fall apart,
Trade in my bike for a shopping cart,
And beg change from a world that needs some,
I'm tired of sleeping alone.

So where are you, my little needle?
The stack's been burned away,
But I'm so inebriated that I cannot see,
Three feet in front of me,
Between the moon and you,
Lunacy is setting in.”

Sirius's voice trailed off, and Remus opened his eyes, a faint smile on his face. He sat up a little, and kissed Sirius tenderly.

Remus's hand wound into Sirius's soft hair, and for the first time, Remus truly began to believe that things might actually work out between them.
A/N: For those of you who don't know, Terry Fox was a Canadian cancer activist and athlete, and was a leg amputee. In 1980 he ran across Canada for cancer awareness, called the Marathon of Hope. He made it from St. John's, NL to Thunder Bay, ON, before he was forced to stop because the cancer had spread to his lungs. That's a total of 3 990KM or 2 479 miles.
Songs in this chapter: My Little Needle by Alkaline Trio (I originally wanted to use We Can Never Break Up by Alk3, but it was to cheesy in this context, even for a gag-worthy romantic like me XD)
- 3
- 4
- 5
You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.
Report Story

Sing Along Forever