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Nothing But a Kiss COMPLETE	By : Snapes_Slave Category: Harry Potter > Het - Male/Female > Snape/Hermione Views: 12647 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I sadly do not own any part of the Harry Potter franchise or any of its characters. I make no money off this... just reviews to feed my weary soul.

Chapter List
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Disclaimer: As per usual.... does not belong to me, is all the work of the brilliant Ms. Rowling. All hail JK! I'm simply playing around with her toys...

Could really use some reviews... the muses are slowly starving to see how we can improve this lovely work of fanfic for the readers. Snape is likely to be a bit OOC as well as Hermione, but can we blame either of them? They have been through quite a bit...
WARNING: Somewhat graphic depictions of assault and rape in this chapter as well as some harsh language. If you can't stand the heat, stay out of the chapter. Now onward to the story!

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She stopped after finishing a sentence and looked over what she had just written when suddenly behind her, she was startled by a very loud POP! Hermione turned in her seat, gun drawn and pointed to the back of her car. She opened her mouth to give tasked directions like her training had taught her when a familiar voice stopped her heart momentarily.
"And just what are you planning to do with that, Miss Granger?" The silky smooth tones of his voice hadn't changed. In all the time they had been apart, she had never forgotten his voice. She dropped her aim and stared at him, mouth open, tears in her eyes.
"Severus?"
"Yes, Miss Granger. Fancy meeting you here," He joked with a raise of his eyebrow. Hermione jumped into the back seat and threw her arms around his neck, clinging on for dear life and letting the tears flow. His arms wrapped around her trying to soothe her, which was made much more difficult by the bullet proof vest she was wearing.

"Gods, Severus. I've missed you so much!" She sobbed brokenly into the robes she had tightly clutched in her grip.
"I'm not sure that's a statement I've ever heard before in my life." He commented dryly. He was so uncomfortable. It had nothing to do with the position in the cramped backseat of a police vehicle, or the steel plate of a bulletproof vest jabbing him in the ribs, and everything to do with the broken, sobbing woman held tentatively in his arms. Hermione laugh-cried and started to control her breathing, lifting her head to look into his eyes. Eyes she hadn't seen in nearly 5 years, other than their nightly feature in her dreams.
"Why are you here? It's been so long. No one really ever wrote to me, no one ever answered my letters. Everyone moved on and forgot about me. So why are you here now?" She asked, suddenly appearing suspicious.
"I'm not entirely certain you have the right to ask that question, Miss Granger. I'm also not entirely certain how to answer it."
"Fine then. I'll change the question. What the bloody hell took you so long!" And with that she commenced with snogging him senseless. At least she tried to. Let it be known that a military police uniform was not exactly conducive to snogging or any number of activities. Just using the loo was at least a 10 minute activity that really made you ponder the true necessity of the act. She gave up after a couple minutes of awkward petting, sitting herself back slightly to peer up into the face of the man she had been holding in her heart for somewhere around 7 and a half years.
Breathing heavier, Severus replied. "That is actually something I can tell you. I'll have you know that it most certainly was not easy to find you. We all thought you had just left. Perhaps needing some time to work through things on your own for a bit. When 2 months went by and no one heard from you, we started to panic. By the time we got the first letter after a year and a half, people had started mourning you."
"First letter? A year and a half? But I sent letters all the time! And I didn't leave without telling anyone! What the bloody hell do you mean?" Severus could hear the panic rising in her voice. He did his best to calm her, but knew it was sure to get worse before it got any better.
"I'll get to that. Bare with me, Hermione. We'll get there. First off, you chose a very good secret keeper. It took me until about 3 months ago to actually break him to tell me where you were. I worked on that man for nearly 2 years before he told me anything. As much as it pains me to say this to you, and I will lie if you ever repeat this, Kingsley is a good man with good intentions, if a bit narrow sighted. He needed you. You were young, gullible, and deeply devoted to the cause. In short, an easy target for him. He gave you very little information from home because he didn't want you to want to come back. He never delivered your parting letters because he didn't want to answer to anyone or to have people come looking for you. After a while he even let us think that the Aurors gave up their search and almost blamed it on Death Eaters. It was heavily implied that you had died. It will always be in the Minister of Magic's best interest to keep people in the dark."
"How could he do that? I trusted him. I worked with him for years before any of this." She had a new round of tears aching to fall from her hardened eyes. Then the sadness left and anger rapidly took its place. "That son of a bitch! How dare he take advantage of me that way! After everything I have done for him before all this! After everything that I've accomplished for him and the Ministry. After the things that have happened to me here..." The anger was apparently quite fleeting. "How could he." She whispered.
Snape had his arm around her shoulders and his free hand reached up to her jaw, tilting her face towards his gaze. "You are too strong to give this much emotion to that man. He is unworthy of your tears. You are absolutely right. He should never have done this to you. That being said, can you seriously deny that you have accomplished great things while here? When I finally got him to break, he told me a lot of what you have done in your time away. But he also told me about a lot of the things that happened to you. He thought the attack would break you. He never thought you would continue on after that. But still you stayed. Why, Hermione? Why didn't you come home? What happened to you?"
With a very faraway look in her eyes, he knew she was reliving it.
"I was nearly done with a mission. Most of the time I spent here in Virginia was just reconnaissance. I found a number of 'Dark Lord rising' types. People who thought they could do a better job, complete his work. I was trailing one. He was so damned predictable. Same routine every day. Leave work promptly at 5:15 PM, walk around the corner to a bar, have precisely 2 drinks as he flirted with the young bartender, then leave and apparate home from the alley down the street. I was planning to make my move the next night. It was a long weekend off for me, and I was sick of making the trip. I waited in the alley so I could track his signature to be sure he had gone to his home. It was supposed to be so simple. Just waiting and watching. But of course it's never that easy."
**********
The alley smells. It's like a pile of old sick, stale beer and something like hot trash in the summer sun. There are puddles of indeterminable origin close by. No one ever really walks by, and no one ever comes down into the alley. The buildings on either side are nondescript. Just basic brick and mortar. Nothing to set them apart from the other countless building facades in the area. But I will never forget anything about them. This is where my life was changed.
I'm curled behind a dumpster, watching for my mark so I can do the last of my work before I can go back to my hotel for the night. This guy was just the latest in a line of Voldemort wannabes and I was ready to just wash my hands of him and this whole mission. 'Tomorrow night, when this is all over, I tell Kingsley to shove it. I'm done.' I think to myself. I feel something behind me, then feel hot, stale breath on my neck and the hair there stands up. My hand carefully grips my wand, but before I can turn around an arm snakes around my stomach, holding my arms in place as its companion closes over my mouth, choking off my screams. I will never forget the voice, like broken glass and rusty nails, as it says menacingly, "What do we got here? Such a pretty little lady to be in such a shit hole as this. Waiting for me darlin'? Well here I am." His hands start gripping tightly, clamping my arms and face painfully, as he grinds his arousal against my back. I shudder, squirming around as much as I can, trying to get my wand pointed towards any part of him, when his grip makes me drop it. I feel the first tear well in my eye, but still refuse to let it fall.
"I got somethin' for ya, sweetheart. Can you feel it? All for you, babydoll. What do you think you can do for me? If you're a good little girl, I might not hurt you too much. Be good and don't make a sound, or it'll get a lot worse for ya." He removes the hand from my face just long enough to grab something from his pocket to cram into my mouth. It tastes disgusting. Like the sick I can smell, along with body odor and who knows what fluids from his person. I'm not even sure what it is. Some sort of fabric. All I know is that this revolting piece of fabric is going to keep me from getting out of here. I feel myself start to fall apart the more he grinds into my backside. My tears have chosen to fall without my permission now, and I can feel myself breaking. I am the brightest witch of the age, and I am breaking for a muggle who doesn't know any better. To him, I'm just another conquest. Just a series of orifices. Just his next rush. I'm not a brilliant, strong witch who has stood toe to toe with the likes of Bellatrix Lastrange and Lucious Malfoy and won. I'm not anything more than what he wants to do to me. And I break.
As he tears my clothes from my body, I get mad at myself for wearing something so easily torn and removed. Why didn't I wear leather and denim today? Why cotton and linen which are so easily torn? The stale air hits my back first, then my legs. I can almost feel him drool as he eyes my arse in the plain cotton pants covering my virgin cheeks, before he savagely rips them from me. He pushes my against the brick wall and dumpster. The smells no longer register. Neither does the pain as the brick abrades my sensitive flesh. He holds the back of my neck with one hand, pushing my face against the rough surface, his other hand pulling my lower body closer to his. The hand on my neck pushes down, scraping my face, to get a better angle for himself as he pulls himself from his trousers and pumps a couple times. I allow my tears to fall freely.
"Now remember what I said, honey. Not a sound, or it gets a lot worse for ya." He grates out just before he pushes himself into my virgin opening, tearing through my maidenhead viciously. I cry out, the first noise I've made so far, and feel his forearm slam into the middle of my back before his elbow lands a weighted blow to my right side. I feel the air leave my lungs and for long pain filled moments, it's like I'm choking. My legs want to buckle underneath me, but his grip and body seem to be the only thing keeping me in place. "Didn't I say not a sound? Stupid little bitch if you can't even remember that." He starts pounding into me as the air returns in deep gasps while I whimper helplessly around the cloth in my mouth."So fuckin' tight though, aren't ya. Been a long time since I had a virgin. Look at that blood on my cock. God, it's almost as good as if you were wet for me." He nearly moans into the back of my hair.
I keep a mantra in my head, repeating it over and over. 'I am Hermione Granger, and I will not let this be the end. I am Hermione Granger, and I will not let this be the end. I am Hermione-' He pulls out of me, but I have no time for a relieved breath as he forces his way in to my tight puckered hole. The mantra no longer repeats in my head. The whimpers have given way to shuddering sobs that wrack my body. And suddenly, I'm floating. I no longer feel the pain of every blow he lands as punishment for my noise. I don't feel the abrasive 'push-pull' as he enters and exits me. I can no longer hear the vicious words he says, although I will never forget them. I am floating above the scene unfolding before me. I see a poor innocent girl being treated like a rag doll whore, being tortured and left bloody and shattered in a dark, stale smelling alleyway in the middle of one of the busiest cities in the country, left to die. Or to live. Which is worse? To die knowing these as your last memories? Or to live feeling like a dirty, used, degraded cum depository for a disgusting low-life?
Nearly 2 years later, I still don't have an answer.

**********
She couldn't believe she was telling him about this. A very select few people had been given the whole story. So far there was only a close friend from work (who had only been told after a year had passed and 2 bottles of wine) and her therapist. No one else knew the full story ad all the gory details, but telling Severus was like finally letting it go. She sobbed on his shoulder, letting everything out and finally releasing the tension from her shoulders that hadn't left since that day. As her story came to a close, her tears dried and she sniffed inelegantly.
"They caught my Dark Lord wannabe the next night, I spent a week in a wizarding hospital, and went back to work, waiting for my next mission." She avoided his eyes. She couldn't stand it if she saw disgust there. Or worse, pity. "I couldn't come back after that. I couldn't stand for people to look at me at all. Can you imagine what it would have been like if I came back after that long, after everything the Prophet had said about the final battle. Everyone would have looked at me. It's still hard for me. I don't go out at all. I prefer to stay home by myself, with my books and my studies."
"Yes, Kingsley said you have two Masters and are working on a third. That would be impressive to begin with, but doing it while working basically two full time jobs. Merlin, but you truly are brilliant."
"Thanks." She laughed humorlessly, still avoiding his eyes. He lifter her chin again, forcing her to look at him and finally see what registered there. There was no pity. No disgust. There was understanding and sympathy and something else she couldn't quite name.
"Hermione, never be afraid for me to look at you. I would hate it if you never wanted me to see you. Do you know what I see when I look at you?"
"What?"
"I see a woman who has been to Hell and back. I see a woman who has had all the odds set against her and has come out fighting. I see a woman who has found a safe place in learning, to better herself and the world. I see a woman I fought for, a woman I searched the ends of the Earth for. I see a beautiful creature that makes me want to get up every morning. I see a woman I want to possess and who will possess me in return. I see my equal in so many ways. Hermione, when I look at you I see my future."
"Severus, you don't realize what you're saying. I want to be your future too. I want to possess you and to feel safe with you, but so much has changed. I'm not the same person I was before."
"I know that. I will go as slow as you want me to. I will never push you to do or be anything you don't want. But know that I want you and I will never stop wanting you." He kissed her softly on the mouth, then trailed his lips to her cheek, her temple, her forehead and eyes. She could almost feel the emotion he was pouring out to her and it was one of the sweetest things she had ever felt. But it was a lie. It would continue to be a lie until he knew everything. She gently pushed him back.
"Severus, wait." She took a deep breath. "That's not the only reason I didn't come back. After I recovered, I didn't want to keep doing this. The work was done anyway. There was nothing left for me to do here. But after a while, I got some... new information." How was she supposed to tell him this? Her mind screamed at her to just do it, but it was so much harder than that. This could change everything.
"I need you to answer some questions for me."
"Of course, Hermione. What do you need to know." He knew she was holding something back. It had to be big, or she would have just said it already. He was incredibly nervous. What had Kingsley left out?
"How do you feel about children? You never seemed to care much for them." She was trying to look at him, but it was so hard.
"I despise other people's children. I hadn't really thought of having my own... until you. I have this dream of children with you..." He looked away. If anyone had ever told Hermione that Severus Snape, dark, foreboding Potions Master and bat of the dungeons, could look bashful, she would have laughed them all the way to the loony bin at St. Mungos, but that was the only way to describe his expression now.
"You dream of having children with me?" Her mouth lifted in a shy smile.
"Of course, I do. I've had this dream since you left, of a baby boy with dark curls and pale skin, and a girl toddling around with amber curls and dark eyes. Every time I dream it, you're there with me. How could I not want that happiness in my life?"
"Would you show me?" She was suddenly very curious. What exactly did this girl look like? He couldn't possibly be dreaming of her... could he? The abnormally shy man just looked into her eyes lifted his wand and softly said "legilimens." It was. It made no sense, but there she was, running around, laughing and playing as they sat and watched. Hermione broke his gaze and gathered all her Gryffindor courage.
"Severus, I didn't return because I found out I was pregnant." The car was silent. She held her breath for the next part.
"The girl in your dream... She's my daughter."

A/N
So sorry for the cliffie... but that's one way to have a reunion, right? I hope no one was offended by the rape scene. I tried to be as true to the act as i could be. As a survivor myself, I did make my hubby read it. I think I may have broken him a bit... He said it fucked him up because we have a daughter and, in his words 'It's just fucked up' (the scene) to which I said, 'well, rape is pretty fucked up'. The dark stuff should be over, hopefully. But sometimes the characters have a life of their own, and the muses just go alone with it. My sadly withering ego could definitely use some stroking with reviews... Next chapters will probably be a little shorter and have some more conversation between our main characters and some upcoming holidays possibly... lemons will be coming shortly. I know my timeline was really off and a bit weird. Sorry. Just go with it. Please let me know how I'm doing. I really have no idea.
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Nothing But a Kiss *COMPLETE*

Nothing But a Kiss COMPLETE