It Wouldn't Even Matter | By : Eloise Downbadde Category: Harry Potter > Het - Male/Female > Draco/Hermione Views: 1864 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 1 |
Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters - i just referenced the books from a different perspective |
Ok, so I heard the snake line on my fav show last week, "You're the Worst" and it was SUCH a Draco thing to say I had to add it. And so I'm uploading this now instead of this weekend cuz I just HAD to share it.
I was gonna just upload that part but ..story.. plot..I'm not a cruel monster etc. See ya next time!
Chapter 4
Her Magic
She was supposed to meet him in the library tonight. He wonders, hells, he hopes she has some ideas for the cabinet. He's hit a dead end and Snape hasn't figured out how to get through the Hogwarts wards yet either. He feels a little stab of guilt, dragging her into this. Helping him effectively ruin her only home in the Wizarding world, maybe get her friends and classmates killed. He was anticipating on getting her out of Hogwarts before he opened the flood gates, even if he had to drag her unconscious body himself.
He tries to think that if she knew it was this or torture and eventual death for him, she would want to help him. Maybe not in the way he was using her for but he couldn't tell her. Just like he couldn't tell her anything else he had wanted to for 4 years.
He sees her stand after dinner and he moves to rise and meet her at the door but someone else beats him to it. Some other Gryffindor ponce had caught up to her. She flashed him that smile and he thinks he recognizes him from quidditch. It irks Draco that he puts his hand on Granger's lower back and leads her out of the Great Hall. Draco throws down the last of his drink and follows, not moving quick enough to draw attention but he doesn't miss Theo nudging him as he rises from his seat.
He isn't more than 30 paces behind them and he wishes he had an ear to listen in on them. Not that he needs it, he can tell she is very uncomfortable. A touch of pride swells in him as she side-steps his attempt to get her stuck between him and the railing on the moving staircase, quickly pushing past his arm meant to block her in. 'Good, Granger.' He felt the purr of praise in his head.
He missed the connecting stair and had to go up and down an extra flight to stay within somewhat range of the two but he lost them at the last level, swearing under his breath as her bushy hair slipped out of sight over the stairs above him.
By the time he's at the end of the hall, the library doors are closed and he isn't embarrassed to say he skidded down the steps into the main floor. He hadn't seen the other bloke anywhere so he assumed he was still following Granger to her usual desk. She wasn't there and it made him nervous.
He pulled his bag out, resized and unpacked it slowly. She still hadn't turned up when he finished. Anxiety spiked through him and he was rising to go find her when he recognized her whispered voice and let out a breath he didn't realize he was holding.
"I'm sure it is a shortcut, maybe I'll find it another time. Thank you for err..walking me, Cormac."
"It's no problem, love. Listen, I wanted to ask if you'd heard of Slughorn's Christmas party." Draco bristled, who was this tosser?
"I have..." Poor Granger. She really was too innocent for her own good.
"Great! Would you like to go together? It will probs be dull but I'm sure we can have a good time together." Draco could hear the smile on Cormac's face and he hated it.
"Oh no, Cormac, I've already got a date for it. I'd honestly rather be here than some rubbish party but I'll see you there? I've got quite a big project I need to get started on here."
"Sure, sure!" He heard the sound of a chair pulling back and glanced behind him to see the persistent prat sitting next to her as she shot a look to Draco. He knew the look of desperation on her face better than most. "I'm more than happy to help! What subject is it in?"
Draco cleared his throat loudly. "I've never seen someone not take a hint more than you, mate." He didn't look back while he spoke but he made it clear he was talking to them. "Granger, you took your time." He made a motion with his hand over his shoulder for her to come to his desk and flicked his wand, bringing her bag over next to him, levitating it off her shoulder. Granger scrambled from her desk and followed the bag, he imagines she's doing that polite smile to McLaggen.
"I'm sorry, I didn't see you there, Malfoy. Thanks again, Cormac. I'm sure I'll see you later." She sat next to Draco and he gave her a small smirk, teasing her a little. To his surprise, the bloke was at his elbow, glaring down at him.
"I think I'll hang about. Make sure this snake behaves himself." He openly sneered at Draco and he thinks it doesn't fit the boy's face.
Draco snorted a laugh, "Like Granger ever needs protecting. Nonce." He saw her flushing from the compliment and internally celebrated. McLaggen sputtered and his eyes jumped between the two.
He leaned forward, sticking his face right into Draco's. "I've heard she has someone protecting her in the background these days. I wonder who that could be?" He felt his eye twitch a tick and was about to snap at him when Granger jumped in.
"GoodNight, Cormac. Thank you. Again." She said crisply, ending their conversation and slamming her book onto the desk. She didn't spare him a look, digging through her bag. When she had all her things out and the bloke still hadn't left, she placed her hand over Draco's, pulling his attention away from his glaring contest. "This is the book I mentioned earlier," she paused for a moment, meeting Cormac's gaze before saying, "Draco."
Merlin, the way she said it made his heart skip, like a slow song. A tone he only ever heard from her in his dreams. He swallowed a sudden lump in his throat but still turned and raised an eyebrow to the intruder to their study space.
Cormac's face had turned red and he stomped off, getting hushed from Pince on the way. The door slammed and Draco looked to Granger, her cheeks flushed with annoyance but he laughed. As quietly as he could, he laughed, hiding his face in his hand, clasping it over his mouth when it threatened to be too loud for the library. She cracked a grin after a moment and covered a giggle.
"Your psychological warfare is unmatched, Granger." He finally said and she preened a bit.
"I've had lots of practice thanks to you and the boys." She put her tongue between her teeth and gave him a cheeky smile that made him still, knowing full well he stared at the little pink tip before clearing his throat again.
"So, the book. My teleporter." He flipped the book open and scanned the index, deciding to change the topic immediately before they had another argument or he couldn't fight the urge to kiss her again. He had been here before, he pulled his self control out of his belly and got to work.
They stayed quite late. It was nearly curfew and as they were leaving, they bickered over who would walk who back to their commons. She ended up winning, the gentleman in him bowing out but still irritated he didn't get to drop her off at the door. The fact that she was a prefect (with patrol tonight) and he was not won out. Why did she always have to be right?
So they walked toward the dungeons in relative quiet. He once more enjoyed how relaxed they seemed to feel together without the pressure to speak. While they waited for the stair they were on to move back into position to go deeper into the dungeons, he finally built the shield up enough to not seem hurt when he asked her.
"Did that tosser say Slughorn was throwing a party?" She nodded.
"A Christmas party with his 'Slug Club' students. It's rubbish and isolating, honestly. All of his students should be encouraged, not just the exceptional ones." He saw her huff a curl out of her face and clenched his fingernails into his palm to fight pushing it back for her.
"That's fair. I think I'm fairly proficient but I didn't get an invite to any club or party. It does make me feel better to imagine McLaggen having to go by himself, though." He shot her a smirk and she rolled her eyes.
"He's alright, I guess. Surely someone will want to go with him. I'm taking Ron because he isn't part of the club and Harry and I are. Just imagine the fit if we went without him." She shifted her bag and Draco feels she might be holding something back but the staircase slots into place for them to continue.
Draco laughed again. He realized he hadn't laughed in a long time before today. She really was quite pleasant to be around and he is glad it wasn't just him imagining her being a delight because he fancied her. He tried to shake the bubble of guilt in his gut that surfaced again when she smiled back at him. She could die if he succeeds. Her friends, who she loves, will die. Was his life really worth more than theirs?
"Malfoy?" she reached back to grab his sleeve and tugged him off the staircase before it started to move again. He had been lost in his thoughts again and stopped moving. He shook his head, clearing it. There was a pause before she asked. "Where do you go?"
He tilted his head at her, "Pardon?"
She slowed her steps and fiddled with the button on her shirt, not looking at his face. "You disappear sometimes. I can see it. You look miles away and on top of how much weight you lost lately, I guess I'm worried. I know when I do that, it isn't anywhere nice."
He raised his eyebrow at her. Where could she go that was painful? Now that she knew about his summer, she was looking at him a lot closer than before. Or was she? Maybe she had been already and he never noticed. He sniffed in annoyance. "Nowhere you'd understand, Granger."
A snort of indignation pulled his attention back to her, like she was offended that he would think she didn't have somewhere dark to retreat to. "My moms best friend, my aunt, was diagnosed with cancer a few years back." Her voice had gotten soft and he felt things shift in her tone. When he turned his head to the side, confused, she clarified.
"Cancer is an illness muggles get where your body sort of kills itself. And the only cure they have essentially kills their body too. Sometimes it's better odds and sometimes it's worse but," he noticed her footsteps stopped nearly completely and she chewed her bottom lip.
"That sounds tough." He wasn't certain why she was sharing something so personal but he felt like she was unloading something important to her and he wanted to absorb it all.
She pushed on, "I would see her look the way you do. The face she makes; the look in your eyes. Like you know you're dying and you can't stop it."
It hurt him. It hurts that she could see it. That she was able to put it into words so he doesn't say anything. He lets the painful silence grow until it feels like it will burst out of him. Then her hand slid against his and pulled him backwards, making him stop, his shoes squeaking loudly in the quiet corridor.
He sighed pulling his hand away, "What am I supposed to say to that? I'm just waiting for the axe to drop. There's nothing to be done about it."
The sadness on her face made him angry. The clear vulnerability, the anguish this barely known person felt for him, more than he could ever care for himself, it made him so angry. He didn't deserve these feelings. He didn't want her to tear herself up inside about him.
Hells, he already knows she will hate herself when she realizes that helping him would undoubtedly kill people. That he killed her favorite old wizard to keep his spineless arse alive for another day, she would loathe him and herself. He couldn't let her hate herself because of him.
"I've had quite enough of you and your bleeding heart and feelings for tonight. You can't save me, Granger. Now, go find your patrol partner. Your savior complex isn't worth anything here."
He saw her huff, her hair splaying out around her in her anger, he imagines it's her magic that makes her mane so unruly. He wants to bury his hands in it and let the feeling of her rush through his body like electricity, taking the bottomless pit away for a moment. He held his hands up in a careless motion when she glared at him, no longer pitying him.
She pushed forward and past him and he admired the wave of anger that radiated off her. It felt comforting sometimes, to make her angry with him. It reminded him they weren't friends. They weren't ever going to be more than whatever it was they were now. Her odd concern and attempts to scratch at his surface and him shutting her down and leaving her outside the gates. A back and forth game of being playful and being hateful is the only language they really both could speak.
They didn't talk for another few minutes until he noticed her halo of anger had switched temperature suddenly. He nearly ran her over when she stopped and spun on him. "Why do you do that?" He had to put his hands on her shoulders to stop from falling over on top of her. He realized it was the second time he had touched her today. He felt spoiled.
"W-what?" he croaked out, not ready to be that close to her in such a sudden manner. Her eyes, even in the darkening dungeons, were determined again and it made him nervous. She grabbed at the front of his robes and pulled him down, eye level with her.
"You say things you know will infuriate me and then- It's like you enjoy me being angry!" He quickly threw the door in his head closed, knowing she could read his expressions better these days. He straightened up and pulled her hands off his robes, staring icily at her as the mask came up but it didn't stop him from wanting to reach out and touch her cheek with his fingertips; to touch the angry tears she had trailing down.
He grabbed her face with his hands, her cheeks smooshing between his fingers as he made her look up to meet his eyes. He would be lying if he said the move didn't feel exciting, powerful. "I do. Your magic is delicious when you're angry." He saw her eyes jump down to his mouth and back up. Fuck he knew what she was thinking.
"What do you mean?" her exhale ghosted over his face and he pinched into his thigh with his other hand, bringing pain to the forefront of his mind. He just smirked instead of responding to her and she pulled out of his grip. "Why are you like this? I tell you about something that matters, something painful and you twist and say hurtful things back." she growled, her voice pitching up ever so slightly and anger returning, flashing in her eyes.
He let his hand brush through her tangle of hair and wet his lips with a quick brush of his tongue. Fuckity Fuck, this is dangerous. This is flaming red flags in his face. He needs to leave now. He needs to step away. Right Now. "You've known I was a snake, Granger. Don't be surprised to be bit when you pick me up."
She snarled at him and shoved with her small hands doing effectively, nothing. She whirled and stormed away and he did his best to not admire the sway as she went. He waited until she was out of sight before letting out a heavy sigh. He was about to run a hand through his hair when he heard chuckling.
"You're a fucking idiot, mate." Blaise slipped next to him and he glared at his so-called friend. The dark haired boy ran a hand over his face, looking incredulously at Draco. "She was going to kiss you, you knob!" he hissed and Draco shook his head.
"Not happening. Not again." He shoved his hands into his pockets and stalked back to his commons with his friend snickering under his breath the whole way. When they stepped through the door, Draco paused. Blaise looked questioningly at him and meeting his eyes, Draco cursed under his breath. He stepped back out and down the hall, ignoring Blaise laughing as the portrait shut.
He shouldn't have let her storm away like that. The memory of Pucey having her pinned flashed through his mind and he felt responsible for abandoning her down here. Of course she could handle herself but that didn't mean he wasn't responsible for her being down here, alone and upset.
He's ashamed that instead of going to bed, he followed behind her for nearly two hours, just far enough out of sight, until she was finished with patrolling the dungeons. He felt guilty when he first realized she was still crying, speaking harshly to herself and rubbing her face against her sleeve over and over. It took more restraint than he knew he was capable of to not stride out and grab her so he could apologize. He was more angry that apologizing was something he was even considering because it was her and she deserved an apology but he wasn't ready to even start that mountain of regret. She connected with some Ravenclaw girl at the stairs and he felt comfortable enough to go to bed. Nothing stopped him from scolding himself for caring so much he effectively became a stalker for a few hours.
He tries to remember the angry look on her face as he falls asleep but all he can picture is her tongue poking out from between her teeth and her eyes looking playful and mischievous.
When he wakes up, he notices only Goyle, Crabbe himself are in the room. He rubbed the sleep from his eyes and tossed a shoe at Crabbe to wake him. "Oi, I need you two."
Goyle pauses on the way out the door and turns to join Crabbe, sitting at the end of his bed. "I need you to stand guard for me at the Room and you'll need to grab some hair from a few first years." Draco pauses before expanding. "Two different first years. I've got a polyjuice for you each to disguise yourselves. I think a girl would be less suspicious than a boy but...be nice. You don't need to get detention for attacking some poor kids."
He rises and grabs his clothes, waving his wand to refresh himself and checking his hair in the small mirror on Theo's bedside, swiping it back and ignoring the dark bags under his eyes. He sighed and looked over at his two oldest friends and their empty thoughts in their eyes.
"Just," he grabs his bag, shrinks it and pockets it, casting a quick glamour over his mark and pulls his robe on. "Meet me here before dinner is over. Eat quickly and Don't. Forget."
He throws his tie over his head and is straightening it around his collar when Goyle opens the door for him. "Is that all?" The big bloke asks, tilting his head. Draco nods at him and leaves for the Great Hall.
Shit. The hall is covered with jack-o-lanterns, spiders, cats and bats, orange and black confetti falling everywhere. It's Halloween. After everything that was on his mind, he forgot. Days were blurring and he had, once again, lost track of time. He guessed that happens when you are worried about keeping yourself alive. It being a holiday might work in his favor tonight.
He sat down and a little package appeared on his empty plate. He glanced around to see a younger year down the table with the other 5th years, a pretty blonde with soft features. She met his eye, gave him a wink and returned to her conversation. He knew her from their family circles but couldn't be arsed to remember her name.
He opened it slowly, weary of what could be inside when three more identical gifts popped onto his plate, one after the other with a quiet -pop-. He distantly realizes there must be some sort of school organized gift giving for the holiday. He confirms it when there's a simply wrapped bar of chocolate with a little note. The first one had a lipstick kiss and -A.G. as a signature.
'Hm, Greengrass. That tracks.' He thought, glancing at the pretty younger girl. The two others had cute little words with loopy script and one from Theo, which he threw at the boy's head when he laughed loudly at him. He tried not to look across at her table. He didn't want a reminder of how many people loved her and now many she loves back.
He sipped his morning tea and scowled when a spider clung to his face as he lowered his mug. He waved his hand in his face, making the magical spider poof into nothing. Blaise sat next to him and Draco drops the candy bars onto his plate on top of a single present that appeared before his friend.
"Going to the celebration tonight?"
"The feast? Obviously."
Theo piped in, "Dumbledore has let the Head Boy and Girl throw together a thing last minute, of course, after the feast for the upperclassmen, D. Probably just pumpkin juice and Butterbeer but I've got a few bottles of firewhiskey and a bit of elf wine from my cousin." The smaller boy threw his tea back and stood from the table. "I'll keep my mates well lubricated all night," he winked at them across the table and left.
"Think she'll be there?" Blaise asked him as he finished his breakfast, skipping the fry up for the chocolate Draco dumped on him.
"I don't know who you're talking about, Zabini." He sniffed, irritated but still glancing across the hall and letting himself look at her for a moment. She looks like McGonagall with a little witch hat on her messy hair and he quickly looks away before she can see him. After making her so angry last night, he doubted she wanted to be reminded he even existed.
He stood abruptly and Blaise watched him go, calling out after him. "Happy All Hallows, Draco!" And cackled.
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